This is a continuation from Shocked Part I & II. You will need to read them first, or this may not make any sense. As always comments welcome gruntraq@yahoo.com
Monday morning at work was filled with the usual emergencies and fires. The field superintendents always needed me to rescue them from various maladies left off from last week. In the construction business men are men until they need the guy at the office to pull a string or two at the city to get their jobs back on line. Then they're little pussy girls ready to sell their souls. If only they were all cock suckers I would be master of minions. I had always visualized my office as a dark chamber where the guys would line up submissively and offer me sexual favors for my life saving services of construction management.
I had been anxious all day to get the call from Doug. I didn't know where it would all lead. I did know that I was horny as hell though and hit the restroom a couple times during the day to squeeze off some of my internal angst. Finally after lunch, my Nextel phone beeped and a familiar voice chimed. It was Tony our head field superintendent. "What's up?" I replied. In his deep masculine voice Tony said. "Hey me and Doug are getting together at the job site at 3:00 to get him up to speed on his project. Can you bring an extra set of blueprints for him and be at the meeting so you can answer any questions he might have?" . "Sure thing Tony, see you guys there", I replied as if I could care less.
After hitting the bathroom once more I grabbed a set of plans for the project and headed out to la-la land. When I arrived, I followed Tony's tuck into the gravel parking lot. The job trailer was your typical mobile home office you see on construction sites. It's windows had bars, its paint was faded, and a plain white sign on the side that read, "Construction Office". It had a small perimeter chain-link fence large enough for a few trucks to park within.
I parked next to Tony as he got out of his truck wearing his trademark faded construction guy attire topped off with a set of slick Ray-Bans. I could undress this guy and lick him down for hours and never tire. He looked my way with his sexy Italian smile and tipped the brow of his hard hat toward me. "Hey cocksucker! Glad you made it on time for once!", he chided. He's always a gent. He had a roll of blueprints in one hand and a couple of company T-Shirts in the other. As we walked up the metal steps to the door, it flew open with Doug bounding out to greet us.
"Hey guys", he invited with a smile and a wink to Tony and I. He stepped back as we strode into the aged, gritty job office. Doug looked as good as ever, wearing a pair of mildly worn Levis and a set of brand new leather Doc Marten work boots. He had on a black "Marines" T-Shirt that hung on him well, highlighting his bulging arms and the wings of his upper body. We exchanged seeking glances as I passed by him and proceeded to the desk.
Tony sat his stuff down and did the cool dude fist kiss thing with Doug, saying "Shane has a set of plans for you. We can go over my marked up set and you can take notes for yours". I looked up at Doug and handed him the plans, "Thanks", he replied with a smile. Tony and Doug seemed to have a pretty good rapport already I thought. The Italian Stud was in a hurry and wanted to get right to it, so we spent the next 10-15 minutes going over the construction plans. Tony led the meeting and pointed out the pertinent details to Doug. I really didn't do much but grunt and agree whenever Tony looked toward me for agreement.
Doug and I made eye contact occasionally. But we both seemed to be avoiding it. I was getting the sense that he was as nervous or apprehensive about this as I was. When we finally got done, Tony sat down across the desk and handed Doug the T-Shirts he'd brought with him saying. , "Here are the shirts I promised you". Doug grabbed the stack of red shirts and held one up to examine it. Laughing he said, "So does this mean I`m one of the guys now?" It was the standard issue red T-Shirt with our "LMJ Construction" emblazoned across it.
Doug reached down and pulled his black shirt up out of his belted jeans and peeled it up and off of him. Exposed was his tanned and lightly haired flat stomach and buff chest. With his arms in the air, his armpits lush with thick hair got my eye and my cock. My pulse quickened. As he started to put on one of his new red shirts he caught me eyeing him and shot me a quick smile.
"Damn dude!" Tony remarked. "You looking pretty good man! San Diego hasn`t been that bad to you after all:" Doug smiled at him and replied, "I try to keep the playground maintained". Tony jabbed me in the side and kidded, "Do you see that?" . I just looked at him and nodded. Doug never had to work at it. "Asshole!", I thought to myself. Tony just shook his head and said, "Shit I gotta work out three times a week to keep my girly figure". He finally leaned back and looked over at me and back at Doug, "So you two went to high school together huh?" For the first time in the meeting Doug and I stopped and looked at each other for a few seconds.
"Yup", I finally answered looking back and forth at both of them as if it were inconsequential . Doug nodded in agreement. "Doug here was the QB on our football team, star hitter in baseball, and all that other shit too", I told Tony. Nodding as if he already knew, he looked at me and asked, "So did you guys play together?" . Play together? If he only knew. "Me? No, I didn't play sports". It got awkwardly silent.
Tony looked at me rubbing his bushy goatee with his patented quizical look. Doug said nothing and just rocked in his chair looking at the two of us with a smirk.. "Right", he slurred as if to be contemplating. "Well I'll take off and let you two catch up." Tony finally said. "I've gotta get over to another project before everyone takes off for the day". He then stood up and headed out the door.
I was finally in a room alone with Doug.
As we heard Tony drive out of the parking lot and down the street we finally looked each other in the eyes reading each other to see who would make the first move. Doug blinked. "You want something to drink? I got water and Pepsi in the fridge." "No, I could really use a beer though," I replied. Doug let out a quiet laugh and smirked. "Yeah me too." He walked around the desk, sat down and leaned back in his chair with his hands clasped behind his head. Damn he looks so good and he doesn't even know it.
"Man, it has been a long time", he finally said with a sigh. Reeling with nervous energy I replied. "I was pretty shocked when I heard your voice walking into the conference room last week. I just about shit my pants". He smiled. "Do I still do that to you?" I scratched my face before I awkwardly went on. "Look man, I never really said I was sorry about ... back then. You know. I just... I hope it isn`t going to be an thing now..." He nodded his head back and forth and said, "No. No need for that man. We were kids. "
I continued, "I tried looking you up when I moved back from college but you were gone. Later I found out you signed up for the Marines and got married." Doug looked me in the eyes as I spoke. There was a new look in his eyes of something that was never there before. "Really? You tried to get a hold of me when you got back huh?" he remarked. "I wish you could have". Looking back at him with a directness and new found heart I replied. "I wish I could have too". We just sat there and stared at each other and had one of those moments where two people just look into each other with silence. It was comfortable now.
He finally broke the silence, "So you want to get that beer?". His invite making my day. "Yeah, I'd like that a lot. You want to go down to the "Red Baron Club" on fourth street?" "Yeah sure," he replied. "That place is still open huh?". He quickly shut down and locked up the office trailer and we were on the road toward the watering hole in town, Doug following behind. During the short drive I did my best not to let my mind run with expectations and hopes. I wanted badly to get deep inside his jeans and feel his thunder again, no doubt. But for the first time I was feeling something more.
When we got to the bar we made our way to the back of the old dimly lit place. It wasn't quite 5:00pm yet so the place wasn't full of the regulars yet. The Red Baron Club was one of those old school bars that didn't attract the new young hipsters, it was too scrungy and intimidating. It's a place older blue-collar guys who want to shoot some pool, get a bite to eat and throw a few back after work go to. We sat in one of the last booths in the back affording us some privacy and quiet. By the time we were seated the waitress was already there asking what we wanted.
Doug looked at me and asked, "Is it still Samuel Adams?" I nodded yes with surprise. "Two Sam Adams", he told the waitress. I shook my head, "Man you never miss a beat do you?" He smiled back at me. "I try not to." I finally dove right in and asked, "So what brought you back to Sacramento?" He leaned back and cracked his knuckles, letting out a long breath. His thick eyebrows scrunched up as he asked, "Long story or short story?" I looked back into his deep brown eyes, "The story that matters."
Over the next half hour he went on to tell me that shortly after high school his cousin got a job in construction here in town and he worked for about a year or so. When the first Iraq war started with Desert Shield and then Desert Storm he felt the call and joined the Marines. He ended up going over there just in time for the war to be over and spent the next four years in the Marines at Camp Pendleton, just north of San Diego. In the midst of it he had gotten married to a gal from the area. Once he got out of the Marines he got a construction foreman job down there and they set out to live happily ever after.
As the third or fourth round of beers arrived he had gotten to the part of how he came to be in front of me. "I loved her a lot, but it just wasn't real", he said. Looking into my eyes seriously and steady he paused and asked. "Can I be completely honest with you?". Taking on an equally serious stance I said, "Of Course." He rubbed his chin, "I mean about you and me, and what we used to do. You have any issues with that stuff? I leaned back and gave him the reassuring look he needed. "Man I have no hang ups at all. In fact I was hoping we could talk about it. So shoot".
He took a drink of his beer. "Fact of the matter is Shane, I'm gay", he said quietly looking down at his beer. He looked for a negative response in my eyes but I gave none. "It took a lot of years of living a lie that hurt people around me but that's it. That's why I am divorced." Looking up at me with a touch of sadness he went on. "I could never have sex with my wife without shutting my eyes and wishing I was with a dude, imagining it." He took another long draw off his beer. "I ended up hooking up with a couple of guys off the internet down in San Diego off and on to feed it. One thing led to another and I ended up getting caught by my wife."
Letting out a deep sigh of sympathy I could only say, "Fuck man, that sucks". He looked at me longingly for a moment. In all the years we got together in our youth I had never seen the vulnerable side of this man. He had always the tough guy jock persona who never felt anything but anger or machismo. He never let himself be open to ridicule or threat.
"Yeah it was a fucking mess alright. It was pretty rough. She kicked me out, told everyone we knew including my family that I was a fag she caught fucking around with other guys. She made a revenge parade out of it." Dumfounded and struck I replied, "Fuck, no way!" He rubbed his hairy square jaw again and said. "Yeah, way." He looked at me and took another drink and then continued. " I ended up losing most of my friends pretty quick. The company I worked for was owned by Mormons. They were nice people but weren't hip to that. I got let go when they found out. So, that was pretty much it for me down there".
I leaned back in my seat and tried to digest what I had just heard. What had been my lust for this stud who re-entered my life had just turned into a deep feeling of brotherly concern and empathy. He had just gone through a closeted man's nuclear scenario. I finally asked, "What about your Dad? I mean he knows too right? But you are here living with him? So what happened there?" He motioned the waitress for another round before he smiled and said, "Well that's the bright spot in all of this mess. My dad has been my ally in this whole thing." I just muttered, "No shit?"
He smiled and his eyes filled with that look I had been trying to figure out.
"My dad has been divorced from my mom since I was five." When I was growing up he always told me it was because they just didn't get along and fought too much. Well, it turns out that he and I have something in common if you know what I mean." My jaw dropped and hit the table next to my sweating beer. "No fucking shit! Your dad? Really?" Doug smiled and replied. "Really. He admitted it to me right after this whole thing blew up. He had been hiding it all these years from me, my mom, everyone. We had a long father son talk and he told me a lot of things. Most important was not to waste my life living the lie like he did. So, long story short he told me to get back up here and he would help me get back on my feet." I sat there quietly in shock. Doug continued, "So I made the decision to face up to it and see where it leads. I am out in the open". I could not believe what I was hearing. Of all the things I expected to hear or expected to happen this was not it.
As I sat there in amazement trying to think of what to say he said, "So enough about me. Tell me about you." His story had hit home with me like a car bomb. In the past two decades I had lived essentially the same scheme as he. I got married, tried to live the "normal" life but bailed out. My marriage didn't end with a bang, but it ended for the same reason. I felt convicted of my own lie. I was being called on my reality by my first love who had just walked through the fire. Suddenly beginning to choke up I responded with a nervous din, "About me huh? Where do I start after all that?' Doug looked at me with a sincere but interrogative gaze. "Tell me what you are thinking right now".
"I think we ought to move this conversation somewhere else", I replied making a facial motion to the crowd of after-work men who now filling the bar around us. Doug looked back at me as to measure my intentions. "I'm not trying to get lucky" I joked. "I just have a story too and if I have another beer or two here I wont be able to drive." Doug got a sexy grin on his face. "Well I wouldn't mind getting lucky though". The air got a lot lighter as we both chuckled.
We paid the tab and headed for my house.
To be continued....