Shane

Chapter 13

The next weekend was the last weekend in July and Shane woke up nervous on Sunday morning. He was nervous cause today he would see Brian for the first time since he'd been kicked out of his father's house.

He kept admonishing himself knowing he shouldn't be nervous about Brian. He had really liked Brian after a spell and imagined he actually owed his life to him on more then one occasion. He went to the bathroom and took a shower then returned to his room sat on his bed and pulled on his socks. Shep was sitting near the bed staring at him. "I know boy. I just gotta put my shoes on first." This was Shep's morning routine. As soon as Shane finished dressing in the morning he started begging to go out. Shane always dressed in a hurry. He imagined it must be uncomfortable to not be able to go to the bathroom when you had to.

He threw on his shoes and ran down the stairs he raced Shep every morning and every morning he lost. He opened the door and let him out but instead of going out himself he closed the door back up and walked into the kitchen hearing someone moving around in there.

The kitchen of this house was Shane's favorite room. It was dark blue and white. The counters and floor were done in shiny blue tile. The cupboards were white with blue trim. The windows which had a splendid view out over the cliff to the ocean was framed in dark blue frilly curtains and every decoration such as antique plates pots and pans that hung on the white walls were shined up and a brilliant blue as well.

Tad looked up at him from the counter where he was molding out a pie shell. "Good morning." he greeted Shane with a warm smile like he did every morning.

Shane smiled back his good morning from Tad one of his most cherished events of each day right up there with Don's good mornings.

"You want some help?"

"You gotta have breakfast first." He turned and pointed to the cupboards. "I bought your favorite pop tarts at the store yesterday."

Shane walked over and pulled out the box of cinnamon and brown sugar pop tarts also loving the fact Tad cared enough to find out what his favorites were and made a point to buy them each time he went grocery shopping. He opened the box then one of the foil packages and dropped two tarts into the toaster. He pushed the button on the toaster down at the same time he put the box away. Then pulled out a glass, went to the fridge and filled it with milk.

He'd never gone to the fridge himself up until they got back from the trip. Though he'd only been doing it for three days it no longer scared him that he would get in trouble if he did it.

He stood opposite of Tad at the island counter and after taking a drink of milk set his glass down on it. "What are you making?"

"Chocolate cream pie."

Shane's face lit up.

"You like that?" Tad asked grinning at his excited face.

Shane shrugged. "Don't know's if I ever had it. I like chocolate." he held one hand out. "And pie." he held out the other then put them together. "So I imagine I'll like chocolate pie."

Tad snickered and squeezed Shane's shoulder. He and Don had never really talked about having kids not with any intent to do so anyways but now that they had one they both loved it. Though the road had been rocky at first Shane was rapidly becoming more confident which in turn made him a lot more fun to be with. He still needed guidance and both Tad and Don were glad of that because they loved giving it to him and loved it over this past week when he'd actually come to them for advice on several different issues. First one being the same day they got home as to what his email address should be.

They gave him plenty of suggestions and after an hour of discussion led mostly by Shane who they both imagined was the only person ever to put so much thought into an email address, he had decided on vshep16 since he joked so much about changing his last name to Shep's which he considered to be Shepard.

"You nervous about seeing Brian?"

Shane nodded without hesitation then took another drink of milk. "You spose that's normal?"

Tad nodded and looked back down at his pie. That question had become very common like Shane was proving to himself in everything he said that he was thinking normally like most people would think in his situations. Don and Tad had talked to Larry about it and Larry had said it was a good thing. That he was only measuring himself up against other people to see how he stacked up. Once he was satisfied he was not the wierdo he'd always thought he was he would stop.

"Were you here when they came before? When I was sleeping?"

Tad looked back up at him and nodded.

"Was his gram real nice?"

"Very nice. Brian seems to love her very much. I think he's very happy living with her."

Shane nodded looking happy at this then walked over to the toaster where his tarts had just popped up. He pulled a paper plate down from the cupboard then latched onto one of the tarts. He pulled his hand away and shook it behind him it being too hot to touch yet. He leaned over and blew on the corner and Tad started laughing.

He straightened back up and turned and looked at him. "What?" He asked smirking.

"You just look like such a queer when you do that." Tad chuckled knowing he was really giving Shane a compliment cause he loved being called a queer at least by Tad and Don. He did not imagine he would enjoy it if it were any of the kids from back at his old school.

Shane laughed turned back around then continued to blow on the pop tart. After eating he went out and checked on Shep who was rolling in the grass his tongue hanging out the side of his mouth. Shane went back to the kitchen and helped Tad cook all morning. They made macaroni salad, potato salad, cut cucumbers and tomatoes. Marinated steaks and chicken and made pitchers of lemonade, iced tea and iced coffee.

Shane went outside and set up the table behind the house about half way between the cliff and the house while Tad cleaned up the Barbeque that was just outside the kitchen door. They did not see the car pull up into the driveway beside the house. Tad saw Brian walking up to Shane but Shane was so involved in getting everything just so on the table he didn't see him.

Brian smiled and waved at him then walked up beside Shane. "Scuse me."

Shane jumped and turned to him. He smiled widely then pulled him into his arms.

Brian wrapped his arms tightly around Shane. "I'm not sure who you are really friendly guy but I'm looking for Shane."

Shane laughed and hugged him harder. "It's me I just got a lobotomy."

Brian chuckled and pulled away from him shaking his head while not taking his eyes off Shane. "I wasn't talking about the way you act. It's the way you look man. My god what a difference. You are hot." he put his hand on his chest and grinned. "And I ain't even gay."

Shane put his hands up behind his head and flexed his muscles. "Must be my new muscles." he said grinning. "What do you think?" he posed in the mirror every morning now, something he never even dared to look in before the trip. He was proud of his muscles there was no doubt in his mind about it.

Brian chuckled then reached out and felt one. "You gonna go back to Prescott high just long enough to beat everyone up?"

Shane chuckled too. "They'd have to knock me unconscious to get me to ever go back to that hell hole." he put his arms down and smacked Brian on the shoulder lightly. "I hear you are gonna be going to Cliff side too?"

"Sure am back to my old school. Back to the 21st century. You'll love it there Shane the kids are so much different. So much nicer. I think us straight kids are actually the minority there." He laughed then shook his head. "I'm kidding but there are a lot of gay kids there. And no one hates them just cause there gay. Everyone pretty much gets along."

Shane nodded and placed the last fork down on the table. "That's what Seth keeps telling me." He noted a look of shock on Brian's face.

"Seth?" he sputtered. "Seth Greenway?"

Shane nodded.

"You are friends with Seth Greenway?"

Shane furrowed his brow not wanting to hear anything bad about Seth. He loved Seth and didn't think he could bear any bad news about him. "What's wrong?" He asked quietly just to get Brian to stop staring in the dumbstruck way.

Brian smiled, shook his head then chuckled a disbelieving chuckle. "Well of course Seth Greenway would say that Shane. He's the most popular guy there. He's the star of the soccer team and don't even get me started on his performance on the swim team."

"He's a jock?" Shane said swallowing hard.

"Well yeah," Brian saw his sudden nervousness and knew why. "But he's not like the jocks at Prescott high. I mean with that body you had to know he did sports." Brian laughed at himself again and sat down on the seat of the picnic table. "And I really swear I'm not gay."

Shane chuckled and sat down beside him. "There's a swim team at your school?"

"Oh yeah, swimming and diving."

Shane's eyes lit up though he wasn't sure he'd ever be brave enough to try out he desperately wanted to join the diving team. He'd never actually dived that had only been in his dreams. But he loved watching it on TV every time the summer Olympics rolled around. "Do they have the high dive?"

"Sure do. Our pool is awesome. I only go in it at gym time but it's got all that fancy stuff. You gonna try out?"

Shane shrugged knowing he would call Aaron about this as soon as he got the chance. If anyone could give him a little confidence it would be Aaron. Don walked out of the house the screen door screeching as he opened it. Behind him were who Shane figured had to be Brian's grandparents.

He stood up as the lady walked over to him. She wrapped her frail old arms around him and squeezed him with much more strength then he would have ever guessed a woman of her short stature could possess. "It's so nice to finally meet you dear." She stepped back and held him at arms length. "My you are a handsome one aren't you."

Shane felt his face grow hot at this person who didn't even know him and was treating him so nice.

Don watched Shane edged with nervousness as to what his reaction to this woman who was suddenly all over him would be. He breathed a little easier when Shane smiled at her. Then sighed with relief when he told her it was nice to meet her too. He shook hands with Brian's grandfather Ellis who looked as old as Esther but not so frail he was much taller and still had some good bulk to him.

Brian and Shane along with Shep took a walk down the beach and returned just in time to eat. They ate nearly everything Tad and Shane had made. Shane eating two and three helpings of everything. Esther commented twice on what a healthy appetite he had which only spurred him on more since he didn't need to feel embarrassed about being such a pig.

While the adults sat in the chairs over the cliff after dinner. Brian and Shane played frisbee on the back lawn. Brian could hardly believe this was the same Shane he'd lived with for two months. His looks were not the only thing that had changed. His whole personality seemed more confident and happy. They're game of frisbee turned to Monkey in the Middle when Shep came back out of the woods from his pee and jumped up between them to catch the frisbee each time it went back and forth.

Shane threw some lower ones so he'd reach them in between the ones he purposely threw higher so he couldn't not that Shep didn't still try.

The sun was just starting to set out over the water when Shane hugged Brian goodbye and their car left the driveway. Tad approached him and put his arm over his shoulder. "That wasn't so bad was it?"

Shane looked up at him and smiled. "Not so bad at all. I'm almost looking forward to starting school next month."

"Which reminds me I gotta go call Aaron." He started to take off but was quickly pulled back by the neck of his shirt. He looked up at Tad fearful at first then relaxed a little when he saw he was smiling.

"That Shrink is pretty useless isn't he?"

Shane sighed he had not said anything cause he thought Don and Tad liked him. Shane still hated him with a passion and had still not confided anything to him. "I just don't like him Tad. He may be a good shrink I don't know. I'm just not comfortable talking to him." He looked at him fearfully again not sure what Tad would say.

Tad smiled at him again. "Don't look at me like that Shane. I'm not gonna get mad at you. You are the one that has to see him and if you don't like him then you have every right to tell me so."

Shane took a step away from Tad just so he could get a better angle for studying his face. He studied for about 30 seconds then averted his eyes to the house. "I don't like him. I don't want to see him anymore." he said it quietly and rubbed the back of his neck something both Tad and Don realized he did when he was nervous about something.

"Okay, we'll find someone else."

Shane snapped his head back and looked back up at Tad. "Can't I not see anyone. I don't like shrinks in general."

Tad put his hand on Shane's shoulder and started leading him inside. "I'm sorry buddy. You've been through too damn much to deal with it all on your own."

"But Aaron helps he gives me advice and stuff." Shane said as they ascended the front steps.

"I know, and I'm glad you and Aaron are so close. But he is not a therapist. You still need to see one. Just make sure this time if you don't like them you tell us a little quicker. Give 'em at least a couple sessions but after that if you still don't like whoever it is let us know."

Shane stopped just inside the front door and turned back to Tad who was closing the door. "Are you mad at me cause I didn't say anything before?"

Tad turned and put both his hands on Shane's shoulders. "We never told you to tell us. We never asked you for your advice. How could you have known? It's our fault as much as it is yours. We should have asked and we should have known you wouldn't just come right out and tell us." he led him over to the couch and they sat down across from Don who had set the book he was reading down in his lap and was listening to their conversation.

Tad looked over at him. "We are discussing the shrink situation."

Don nodded and looked at Shane who was now looking at him. "He's right Shane we should have asked you. We are all, including you, new at this family thing. We all have a lot to learn and we have to be patient with each other. Tad and I have learned through this situation that we need to ask your opinion on things. Especially when they affect you directly."

He got up and walked over and sat down on the other side of Shane. He put his hand on his thigh. "I like our little family, in fact I down right love it. I love having you here and I love seeing you grow more every day. But Tad and I aren't perfect and if you don't tell us when something is bothering you we probably aren't always gonna know. You have to trust us not to get mad at you when you give an opinion. Your opinions count just as much as ours do."

Shane could almost feel his heart growing bigger. He couldn't understand his luck at being able to live with these two wonderful guys but was tired of questioning it and worrying he was going to be sent back home. If it happened it happened but he didn't want to waste any more time on worrying on it.

He looked down at Don's hand and put his hand on top of it. "I like our little family too." He could feel his eyes burning with tears and knew it was cause the word family had come out of his mouth.

Don smiled his own eyes burning and ran his hand down the side of Shane's face. "People are gonna know you are not our real child though you are too handsome."

Shane furrowed his brow totally confused then looked up and saw Don was smirking. "So you know then that I couldn't be your real child anyways." He said grinning along.

"Well I heard someplace that two men can't make a baby."

"Did you guys ever think on having kids? Before I came along?"

"We thought on it. Just didn't consider it something we really wanted to do. When you came along we thought on it again and decided it was something we really wanted to do. And so far we have not regretted our decision in the slightest. Did you ever think of having parents before we came along?"

Shane grinned. "I did. And other then the fact that I have two fathers instead of a mother and a father I'd say this is pretty damn close."

Don's tears fell in earnest and Shane blanched sure he'd said something wrong. "I'm sorry," He said squeezing Don's hand. "I don't mind really."

Don smiled through his tears let out a slow breath and shook his head. "It's not that Shane. I'm just real pleased you called us father's just now."

Shane's mouth hung open a little not really knowing what the big deal was. He turned his head and looked at Tad who looked ready to cry himself. "Well that's okay isn't it."

"Of course it's okay" Tad put his hand over on Shane's shoulder. "It's a real honor actually. An honor we both feel blessed to be a part of. Don's just a bit of a cry baby."

Don snorted. "Could you be serious for five minutes."

Tad grinned at him. "I've been serious for like ten now Don." he squeezed Shane's shoulder. "I totally agree with everything Don has said. We are both real happy with our decision."

Shane hugged Tad then he hugged Don. "I'm real glad with your decision too."

Don looked at Tad over Shane's shoulder and smiled, Tad himself had tears running down his face which he was quickly trying to wipe away.

It was a dreary and rainy mid August day which Shane was feeling was very appropriate from the back seat of Don's car. He looked behind him more then ahead wanting only for the car to be heading in the other direction back home to Tad and Don's house rather then heading to Prescott Cove.

He knew though that it was the last time he would ever have to go to the town and had told himself hundreds of times over the last week that he would survive this one day. He turned his upper body back around and sank back against the seat. He watched the wipers squeak back and forth across the front windshield but the quiet rhythm of them did nothing to calm his fears. Today he would see his father. Today he would see Medusa. Today he would have to tell all or they wouldn't be put in jail where they both belonged.

He'd talked on the phone with Aaron for four hours the night before. Aaron had told him as he had on many other occasion leading up to this week that this was his time to pay them back. To make them pay for every terrible thing they had ever done to him and if he let it slip by he would regret for the rest of his life.

Aaron had told him to hold nothing back the more he told the more they would pay. He knew that in doing this there would be things he'd have to say that he'd told absolutely no one about yet. He prayed he would just get to talk to the judge alone as the prosecution lawyer was trying for.

He let out a long slow and very shaky breath when Don pulled the car into the courthouse parking lot. The courthouse was small and dilapidated like everything else in Prescott Cove. He looked down the street just next door where the post office was in the same building as the police station and jail. All three places giving him the creeps as he thought back on the change that had allowed him to be caught by Bart and the basketball team plus his time in the jail cell which he actually remembered very little of. He had not believed Don when he said he'd been there two days as to him it had seemed more like five minutes before he woke up and found himself in his own room and in his own bed at Don's house.

Don turned back to him and smiled assuredly. "You'll make it Shane. You faced him for years. You can do it this one last time."

Shane nodded and tried to look confident despite his withering insides. Seth and Matt had both wanted to come to give him moral support but he did not want them hearing anything he had to say and had finally swayed them. They both promised they would see him that night as Sam had promised he would call.

Don, Tad and Shane got out of the car and walked into the courthouse. Before them was a hallway with chairs lined up between the doors on both sides. Shane smiled at Brian who was already sitting in one beside his grandmother, his grand father sitting on the other side of her. He walked over and sat down beside him then looked up at Tad. "Are we allowed to sit together?"

"Sure," Tad said smiling as he sat down by him.

Esther leaned forward and smiled over at Shane. "You guys will get to talk to the judge alone. The lawyer just came out and told us."

Shane leaned back in his chair and pressed the back of his head into the wall he looked up at the ceiling and said a silent thank you figuring if there were a God he needed to be thanked for this great deed. Tad squeezed his thigh seeing his relief. Brian put his arm through Shane's and laid his head down on his shoulder. Shane could tell he was as scared as he was by the slight trembling of his arm.

He put his head down on Brian's and they sat there in their fear the adults smiling sympathetically at each other over their pressed together heads. They did not move until an hour later when Brian was called into the courtroom. Shane jumped up and gave him a hug before he walked in and Brian accepted it gratefully.

Brian was gone for well over an hour when he came back before Shane could ask how it went he himself was called in. Brian squeezed his hand and smiled the same reassuring smile Shane had given him. Shane followed a man in an officer's uniform that he'd not seen before into the courtroom.

He saw his father sitting with another man he didn't know behind a table and to his relief his father wasn't looking back at him. He was led to a man holding out a bible and though Shane could almost feel his father's eyes boring into the back of his neck he refused to turn around. Refused to look at that ugly man's face unless he absolutely had to.

Once he was sworn in the judge stood from his bench and motioned for Shane to follow him. Shane walked around the judges tall bench which was incredibly fancy especially for being in Prescott Cove.

They walked through a dark wooden door. He waited just inside the door while the judge closed it. The judge then put his hand on Shane's shoulder and guided him over to a chair in front of a very large highly polished desk. Way too fancy for Prescott Cove. He thought as he sat down. The judge sat on the other side of the desk and Shane looked around the rest of the room. The rug and the curtains were a perfect match of a deep cranberry sort of color the walls and shelves were the same color wood as his desk and all were highly polished.

He moved his eyes back to the desk which was stacked with files on each side sort of framing the judge sitting there in the middle. A name plate was facing him on the edge of the desk. The judges name was Horace Metcalf. What a terrible name Horace.

"Well Shane. I imagine you must be feeling pretty nervous right now so I think I should start by telling you there is nothing at all to be afraid of. I realize you probably don't want to talk about what you have to talk about today that's why I decided to talk to you in here. I thought it would be easier for you then in front of a room full of people."

Shane nodded. "Yes sir, thank you."

"I'm also not gonna make you just tell me everything from beginning to end. I'm gonna ask you some questions and I'd like you to answer them all as in depth as you can."

Shane nodded again gripping the material of his pants tightly already feeling himself breaking into a sweat despite the air conditioner that was humming in the window beside the desk.

"Since we plan on doing both your father's and Mrs. Knowland's trials today I'm gonna ask you questions about both of them now. First I'll start with your dad okay?"

"Yes sir," he cleared his throat as he'd barely squeaked that out.

"I understand your grandmother raised you until you were five. Do you have any memories of seeing your father while you were living with her?"

"No sir,"

"Did he call on the phone or send you anything in the mail?"

"Not that I remember but I don't really even remember living with her."

The judge nodded and made a note on the yellow pad that was opened below him on the desk with a few pages already flipped over. Shane thought they must be the notes of what Brian had said.

"Do you remember when you moved into your father's house?"

"Sorta." Shane said thinking deeply. "I remember the police took me over. Gram had died while I was at school. The police came and got me out of school and took me to my dad's place."

"Did you understand your grandmother had died?"

"Well yeah but I didn't really know what died meant. I thought she'd be along to pick me up." Shane looked over at the window and the air conditioner he could see a spider web stretching up the window. He focused on that and continued. "She didn't show up that day so I just kept waiting. It wasn't til like years later I stopped looking for her."

"What do you mean looking for her?"

"Out the window. I was waiting for her car to pull in you know." he glanced back at the judge then back over to the spider web.

"So your father never explained to you she wouldn't be coming?"

Shane let out a short and very bitter laugh his eyes narrowed and a shot of hatred towards his father blazed through him. "He was the one that told me to wait. Every time a car pulled in and I didn't happen to be at the window he'd yell my gram was there and laugh his ass off when I went running to the door."

"Did he make you wait by the window?"

"No, but he said if I wasn't ready when she came that she may leave without me. So I kept my stuff packed and I waited. I know now it was dumb but people believe in Santa Claus at that age so I guess me believing my gram was gonna show up doesn't seem so bad."

The judge nodded and smiled kindly as he made more notes. "Back then, when you were first there did your father hit you much?"

Shane nodded. "All the time."

"What sort of things did he hit you for?"

"Well if I didn't do something I was supposed to, like flush the toilet or take out the trash. If I talked to him, if I didn't look at him when he talked to me. If I cried."

"What sort of things did you usually cry about other then your father hitting you?"

"My brother hit me too. I'd cry if he hit me and I cried when he picked on me. He broke all my things that my gram had given me and wrecked all my clothes. I think I cried for a week over that one." He smiled shyly though the memory of Austin ripping his teddy bear apart limb from limb while he made screaming sounds like the bear himself was screaming made his heart ache.

"What were your father's punishments like?"

"There were all different kinds sir."

"Okay what was the punishment for crying over your wrecked things?"

"He tied me to the bed and hit me with his belt."

"Were you clothed?"

Shane shook his head not sure why that would matter much.

"How many times on average did he hit you with the belt when he used that particular punishment?"

"Sometimes a dozen, sometimes so many I lost count over fifty." he said with a small shrug.

The judge wiped his hand across his forehead and he could see that he was sweating too. He looked from the web to the air conditioner wondering if it were really working.

"How often did you get punished like that? On average?"

"Couple times a week usually."

"Name another way he used to punish you?"

"He'd just punch me or kick me. Depended on if I was standing up or not really. Whichever way was easiest for him to do at the time. He used to kick me out of the house at night, he used to make me clean the whole house. He used to take me to work on the docks with him." Shane stopped and took a deep breath. "He used to drive me out of town beat me up then make me walk home. He used to not give me food. But that was only when I was younger." He looked at the judge. "When I got older he never fed me at all or allowed me to eat. He sometimes locked me in the closet, a few times he beat on me with his tools, one time he chased me around the house with the kitchen chair caught me too but I don't remember too much after that."

"He beat you unconscious then?"

Shane nodded.

"Did that happen a lot?"

"Well quite a bit. More so when I was younger."

"Did he ever talk when he wasn't yelling?"

"Not to me. He was always real mad. He hated me I knew that real early on."

"Did he say why?"

"Cause I killed my mom."

"You mean cause your mom died during child birth?" he asked cocking his head to one side and studying Shane.

"Yes sir,"

"You don't think you really killed your mom do you son?"

"I know I didn't do it on purpose. But I still did it."

"You seeing a therapist son?"

Shane nodded and the judge luckily seemed satisfied with that.

"What sort of things would he yell at you?"

"That I was stupid, I was lazy, I was good for nothing, that he hated me. That he'd kill me if he thought it would bring my mother back. I was ugly, I was a sniveling coward. I was queer, that I'd never amount to anything. That I ought to be God Damn lucky he took me in. Without him I'd be in a gutter somewhere getting shit on by better people. That he treated me good compared to how anyone else would who would have to put up with me." Shane took a deep breath feeling himself on the verge of tears now that he was feeling pretty confident that most of these things weren't true it almost hurt more for reason he could not understand. A tear slid down his cheek and he quickly wiped it away. He glanced at the judge and his apologetic look did little to make him feel better.

"You want to take a break for a minute?"

Shane took another deep breath and shook his head just wanting to get this over with.

"Did your father treat your brother the same way?"

"No, he wasn't all out nice to him either but he treated him a lot better then he treated me."

"Did your father ever defend you against your brother?"

"No."

"Did your father ever see your brother picking on you?"

"Yes,"

"What did he do?"

"Joined in." Shane said almost able to taste the bitterness in his voice. He had absolutely wanted to disappear all the times that his father and brother ganged up on him.

"If you had the chance would you want to say anything to your father?"

"No sir,"

"So you would be happy never to see him again?"

"Very happy."

The judge sighed and stretched out his arms before turning over another page in his yellow pad.

"Now let's move on to Mrs. Knowland. Describe the circumstances around you first meeting her."

"I came home from school one day and she was just moved in. She asked me if I was his son and I nodded. I was a little dumb struck and a little pissed off. I had the place to myself three days a week and didn't want anyone moving in and ruining that." He rubbed his sweat soaked hands along his pants then grimaced seeing the long wet smear it created. "She told me to clean up my clothes in my bedroom cause her son was in there." He shrugged knowing that wasn't really what she said but could not remember her exact words. "Or something to that effect."

The judge held up his pen and scrunched up his face. "Sorry I gotta go back to your father for a minute I forgot a few things."

Shane nodded his heart sinking just a bit.

"Did you ever have a bed or any furniture growing up? After you moved in with your father?"

"No,"

"And where did you sleep?"

"On the floor."

"You and your brother shared a room right?"

"Yes sir,"

"But he had a bed. And furniture right?"

Shane nodded.

"Did your father ever buy you clothes?"

"No, I wore my brothers old things."

"Okay," he flipped his page again then looked back up at Shane. "Was Anna Knowland ever nice to you?"

"No sir, she was very rude right from the beginning. I was rude to her too. She came in and starting making up all these rules. Like curfews and telling someone where I was going. I know now that, that is the proper thing to do but if I'd told my dad where I was going before he would have just told me to shut up or something."

"Now suddenly she was there telling me exactly what I could and couldn't do. I didn't follow her rules but I tried to stay out of her way. She got my dad punishing me twice as much and was always trying to kiss me and touch me where I wasn't comfortable being touched."

"You mean your genitals?"

Shane felt his face grow red and nodded keeping his eyes fixed on the floor. "The more I kept trying to get away from her the harder she tried the more she got my dad to punish me. I started staying away from the house all the time but no matter what time I got home even if it was the middle of night my dad would get up and beat me into oblivion I was passing out all the time now. After about a month I just couldn't take it anymore so I started following her rules."

"You mean doing sexual things with her?"

"No," Shane said adamantly. "I never did that willingly. She still got real mad but didn't tell my dad every time so I wasn't getting hit as badly as I was when I wasn't following any rules."

"Did she ever hit you?"

"She slapped me a lot. And used to put her cigarettes out on me. She always had one in her hand."

"You said you never did it willingly, did she get her way anyways?"

Shane nodded and his tears started in again. "My dad used to tie me down to hit me with his belt. She used to too but face up. She did whatever she wanted I couldn't move. I couldn't even fight being tied up, cause I'd stopped going to school and was eating very little. I had no strength." He furiously wiped at his eyes and took several deep breaths after a couple minutes of him composing himself the judge spoke again.

"Was she part of the reason you got kicked out of the house?"

"Well sort of. She wouldn't let me in the house when anyone else was up. I had to stay outside and I had to stay on the property."

"Why was that?"

Shane closed his eyes and took a deep breath not wanting to tell this man he was gay in fear it would ruin his case. But since it was a big part of the reason he saw no other choice.

"My friend Sam had come by one day. We are more then friends." He looked up at the judge cautiously but by the kind look on the man's face he got the feeling he already knew this. "She said she knew what my problem was now and didn't want me in the house. Didn't want me to disease her kid. She made me stay outside and burned all my clothes. One night when I was sitting on the porch my principal showed up. I guess that ticked my dad off cause as soon as the principal left he came out of the house. He beat me up and told me he was done with me. If he saw me again he would call the police. That they would take care of me and I could rot in jail. He told me I had an hour to get off his property."

"Why'd he give you an hour?"

"Cause I was hurt pretty bad cause of him kicking me and stuff. I couldn't really move right then I guess he knew that."

"So since that night when you were kicked out have you seen your father or Mrs. Knowland?"

"No sir,"

"They haven't tried to contact you in any way?"

"No,"

After leaving the judges chambers Shane walked back out in the hall not looking at his father once and not even seeing his woman though she'd been there in the front row of spectators glaring at him.

Shane waited in the hall with Brian while his grand parents then Tad and Don were all called into the courtroom.

"How'd it go?" Brian asked once they were left alone.

"Good I think. How about you?"

"Good, that judge seems real nice. I don't know if they'll go to jail but I'm pretty damn sure we aren't gonna have to live with them again."

"I say if we do, on that off chance we make a plan right now to just run away." Shane put his hand on Brian's and squeezed it. "We'd be better off on our own. Course don't think I've got experience there." he grinned. "I didn't do to well last time I was on my own."

Brian smiled warmly. "Yeah but now you know how things should be. You wouldn't do the same thing you did before."

Shane nodded. "I know, so we make a pact then?"

Brian pulled his hand out from under Shane's and they shook on it. "Most definitely."

The courtroom door opened and Don waved them inside he stood between them and pulled their head together in front of his mouth. "They are ready to say the verdict for your dad. I thought you guys would want to hear it. This afternoon we have to stay for your mom's trial Brian but Tad doesn't you three can go out and come back at five."

They both nodded and Don led them over to the last row where Tad and Brian's grandparents were already sitting. The judge came out said a lot of things that made Shane want to jump up and hug him including the fact he felt both boys were bright and level headed and should never have been treated with the hate and cruelty they were subjected to by Roger Campbell.

He said the name Roger Campbell like it had venom dripping from it. Almost the way Shane pictured it in his head. The jury announced their verdicts guilty on all counts, 2 of child abuse, 2 of child neglect and 2 of child endangerment.

Shane reached out with both hands, took Don's hand in one and Brian's hand in the other as the judge prepared to announce the sentencing. He announced different sentences for each crime and Shane tried to do the math in his head but before he got to the answer the judge announced his total.

"Fifteen years with no ability for parole. After which time when you are released you are to have no contact with either Shane Campbell or Brian Knowland. If either of them report any contact or harassment by you, you will be returned to prison and another trial will be held."

Shane laid in bed that night feeling safer then he'd ever felt before. He stroked Shep's head absentmindedly as he stared up at the ceiling. He was never going to have to face his father again and couldn't think of any better thing to happen.

Anna knowland whose name he now knew had been sentenced to ten years with the same stipulations after her release that his father had gotten. Brian was safe with his grandparents and he was safe with Tad and Don. He could feel his old life burying away deeper and deeper and a new life opening up before him. He wasn't the same person he'd been all those years. He didn't feel like the person his father had told him for so long he was.

His dream was coming true he had his dog and he had two parents. His next big step would be school and it chilled him to the very core that he would be the one to ruin his own dream. That he would himself not be able to pull off making friends.

Chapter 14

Seth picked him up the next week on Wednesday part one of his plan was to get decent clothes. Ones he knew would be in style if Seth helped him pick them out. He'd only shot off his first hint on the phone when Seth jumped at the chance. Shopping happened to be his forte, he had said.

Tad and Don had generously given him five hundred dollars telling him he'd earned it over the summer with all the yard work he'd done. He'd done the yard work to build up muscle and hadn't expected any pay but once they'd refused him giving it back he'd taken it happily knowing immediately he'd get himself some nice clothes with it. Which from Don and Tad's reaction seemed to be just what they'd been hoping he'd do with it.

He also planned on getting Don a birthday present as he'd spotted on the calender behind the kitchen door that the 21st of August which was just a week away was circled in a heart with Don's name and birthday written in the middle of it.

"So what high trend stores you got in cliff side anyways?" he said grinning over at Seth as he put his seat belt on.

"CLIFF SIDE!" Seth said loudly like it was the funniest word he'd heard in a while. "You don't get high trend in cliff side. No way boy we are going to the top. Providence is the hot spot."

"Oh yeah?" Shane was grinning ear to ear. He loved Providence the few times he'd gone there and was excited to get to go back.

"All the elite go there." Seth swung his hand out with a limp wrist as he talked in this snotty accent. "The top fags of all fags."

Shane chuckled and nestled into the bucket seat of Seth's Pontiac Grand Am. "So I heard you are quite the jock."

Seth looked over at him and smiled as he pulled out onto the road. "You ain't gonna start hating me are you?"

"No don't think so." Shane said with another grin. "If you played foot ball or basketball I couldn't be so sure but since you're not I think we are safe. I also heard you were like Mr. Popularity."

"Where you getting all your info?" Seth asked looking even more amused.

"Brian Knowland. Used to go there."

"Oh yeah," Seth's face lit up. "He seems nice. Kinda quiet though. How do you know him?"

Shane knit his brow and tilted his head forward for a better look at Seth's face. "Brian? You know the Brian that lived with my dad."

Seth's eyes widened. "Oh geez I never made the connection. Poor Brian. No wonder he was quiet."

Shane nodded as he'd told Seth what Brian's mother had done to him all his life. He'd told him that before he'd realized they knew each other or would be going to the same school which reminded him. "Ahh don't say anything to anyone will you? About what I told you about him."

"No don't worry. I wouldn't tell anyone." Seth smiled over at him then reached over and squeezed his knee. "We gonna fuck today?"

"Well since you put it so invitingly." Shane giggled. "I guess that would be nice."

Seth grinned and squeezed tighter. "Well I can't say it all romantic that would be like cheating."

Shane laughed. "I think I need a hand book for this whole four way relationship thing."

Seth laughed too. "You'll get the hang of it. Just think it like you and I are real close best friends who satisfy each other while the other's boyfriend is away. A best friend who goes above and beyond the call of duty."

Shane chuckled and shook his head. "Okay, I think I can remember that. You think your best friends at school are gonna be pissed another best friend is suddenly there?"

"Hell no, I ain't got no best friends at school anyhow. They are all just friends. None of them I would tell any secrets too not like I do you and Sam. They are all good people and I like to party with them but when you have best friends like you guys just others don't really compare."

Shane rubbed his hand down his stomach not really realizing before now that Seth thought so much of him. They had, had a lot of fun over the summer. Had laughed and cried together and gotten to know each other inside and out, both literally and figuratively.

Seth reached up and pulled his Visor down as they got on the highway and the sun was directly in front of them. "So 15 years huh? You gonna go visit him and point and laugh."

"No," Shane chuckled again and shook his head. "I'm going to keep my distance."

Seth looked over at him and smiled warmly. "Probably a good idea. I know if I were in your shoes I'd never want to see the fucker again."

"Do you ever want to see your mom again?"

Seth's mom had left he and his father four years earlier, she left no note gave no reasons and had not contacted them since. Seth said he didn't care. Said she'd always been a real bitch and he was glad she was gone. But Shane knew it hurt him that his mother just left like that. Something he'd admitted to him only once yet even since the admission pretended he didn't care.

"I don't think so," He said sighing. "Maybe just to ask her why but then I'd turn her around kick her in the ass and send her on her way again."

They rode in silence for a minute then Seth looked over at Shane his eyes full of mischief. "You know my windows are tinted real dark. No one can see in here." He moved his hand over his crotch and pulled down his fly in one swift movement. He flipped out his cock and it lay limply over the front of his pants even looking huge soft. "Just thought you'd want to know." he let out a long exaggerated sigh and shrugged his shoulders while he moved his hands up the steering wheel making space on his lap.

Shane sat there and looked at him knowing fully well what he was getting at but wanting to see what he'd do next. He let out about three more sighs before he started laughing. "Dammit would you just suck my dink."

Shane started laughing too then undid his seatbelt and got to work. Seth seeing a wide gap between Shane's waist band and his back caused by his unusual position put his finger in his mouth and got it wet. While Shane sucked his cock he fingered Shane's hole.

They both did a lot of moaning Shane's hand gripping spasmodically at Seth's thigh once Seth added another finger to his insides. Seth trembled and Shane swallowed grinning intently as it trickled down his throat. He trembled himself then sat up quickly. Seth was pulled sideways his fingers still deep in Shane's ass. Shane saw him leaning over curiously then laughed and bent back over so Seth could pull out.

"Well anyways." He said sitting back up and pointing down to his crotch. "Now look at me. I gotta go shopping with a wet spot on my pants."

Seth laughed so hard he banged his hand up and down on the steering wheel. "Just point the vents that way." He reached out and adjusted one while still chuckling. "We still got an hour."

With only fifteen minutes left forty five minutes later Shane undid his seat belt again and lifted his butt off the seat holding himself up with his arms and legs he put his crotch right in front of the vent. Seth laughed at him and he told him to shut up though he was laughing himself.

By the time the car parked in front of a store window filled with clothes he was dry and relaxed his position. He rubbed his arms that were burning from holding the position so long. Seth gave him a long kiss then they got out and went in the store.

Seth went through the store like a tour guide showing Shane what was in and what was totally taboo. "Jeans are always good. But no tight ones. It announces you as a fairy from a mile away. You don't want them too loose either cause people will think your are a druggy skater type. Just a little loose in the ass and thighs. So you can't see every detail."

Shane nodded and looked over the wall of jeans. "Should I get faded or what?"

"Faded is good. All these are fine." he waved his arm across the shelves. "Just no stone washed." he grinned at Shane. "Remember those? Half white half dark blue all mixed together."

Shane shook his head never paying much attention to what people wore. He picked out a pair of dark blue ones and a pair of faded ones. Seth looked approving and he wandered off to the cargo pants.

"Definitely in." Seth said letting his wrist go limp again. "Always in. And very handy really with all those pockets."

Shane chuckled while he picked out a pair of green ones and a pair of tan ones. He looked at Seth again and Seth shook his head. "You don't gotta keep checking for my approval I'll let you know you know if you do a faux pas."

"A faux who?"

"Faux pas, means bad choice or big mistake." Seth shrugged. "Sumthin like that. It's french."

"I don't gotta talk french to be cool at your school do I?"

Seth laughed and dragged him over to the shirts. "You just be you and you'll be cool. The way you are with me, Matt and Sam. When you talk you're fine, it's when you hide in corners that you may have a problem."

Shane blushed and Seth rubbed his arm. "But you don't gotta worry about getting beat up there. So there's no need to hide in the corners."

"You won't tell anyone will you?" he asked looking up nervously. "About what a loser I was before."

"Course not Shane. I don't think you were a loser anyways. It's everyone else there that was a loser. Poor Matt." he clucked his tongue and shook his head. "Still stuck in that god forsaken hell hole. But." He held up his hands then smacked them down on his thighs. "It's only one more year for him. He's made it this long he'll make it. Course without Sam it will be harder but he was without Sam before too."

"How did you two ever meet?" Shane asked while looking through a whole ton of shirts. He was very surprised this hadn't come up before he figured he must have thought they'd always been together or something.

"Summer camp when we were ten."

Shane's eyes bugged out apparently not thinking they'd been together forever ten, wow that was young.

Seth sort of laughed. "We weren't a couple way back then but we instantly became best friends. The summer we were fourteen we decided it was more. We snuck off in the woods every chance we got and proved that."

"How long did it take you to tell your dad?"

"First day I got home from camp. My dad has always been real great. I knew I could tell him anything. He patted me on the back and said...." He puffed out his chest and put a serious look on his face. "Well son if you are sure that's what you are there's not much I can do. I'll be proud of you no matter who you have sex with."

Totally confused Shane shook his head. "Proud of you for having sex?"

Seth laughed. "No, just proud of me all around. He was basically saying it didn't change the way he felt about me."

"That's great." Shane couldn't imagine a father being so understanding but was glad Seth had one anyhow.

"He is great. You know that though you've met him like twenty times."

"Well yeah but I didn't know he was that great."

They spent close to two hours in the store. Seth bought some clothes of his own and Shane's clothes came to three hundred and seventy nine dollars. He wasn't surprised, he'd bought everything he could possibly need. Pants shirts, sweaters, sweatshirts, shoes, socks, underpants a new jacket and even a new back pack black like the one that had been stolen from him only much nicer looking. Seth had cupped his hand over the side of his face and pulled him close kissing his temple as he looked them over. Shane had felt like crying as just picking out a back pack brought back a bad memory. Seth had seen it and that's why he'd done what he'd done. Shane knew he had a great friend in Seth and prayed he'd be able to hold onto him.

Seth's trunk was nearly full when they pulled into Wal mart. He put out a limp wrist again and smiled over at Shane. "Now the elite don't shop here, so us, the smarter of the elites have to go incognito. As in way out of town." he grinned. "But I ain't payin' ten bucks for a notebook when I can get it here for seventy nine cents."

They got out of the car and walked into the store heading straight for the school supplies. The row was crowded with other kids picking out pens, pencils and notebooks but they managed to squeeze in.

Shane grabbed a few notebooks all yellow then started looking over the three ring binders with all the fancy designs on them. He turned to Seth when Seth started nudging his arm.

"Don't look now but do you know those girls over there?"

Shane turned his head despite the 'don't look now' part and saw two girls staring back at him. They both stared at him sort with sort of dumbstruck looks on their face and Shane turned back to Seth. "They went to Prescott."

"Well it looks like you've rendered them speechless." Seth chuckled. "Did you here me Shane."

Shane looked back at him and squinted his eyes. "What are you doing?" he asked quietly.

"Making sure they know it's you." he said leaning closer. "Now their eyes are even wider. One had their hand over their mouth the other's mouth is hanging open.

Shane looked back at the girls again one smiled and waved flirtatiously while the other one just looked at him with a funny look on her face. Shane turned back to Seth put his hand on the back of his neck. He pulled him close and planted a big fat kiss on his lips. Seth got right into it and wrapped his arms around Shane. While keeping one eye open and on the girls whose eyes were darting all over the place now as they tried to hurry out of the aisle. Once they were out of sight he pulled away and laughed. "It worked you scared them off."

Shane turned to the spot where they'd been standing and grinned widely. He jumped a little as a couple other kids in the aisle started clapping and smiling at them. One woman had her hand over daughters eyes her daughter only looking about five years old.

His stomach flipped feeling real guilty suddenly for what he'd done cause of the little girl. He smiled apologetically at the lady. "I'm sorry ma'am."

The lady sort of rolled her eyes as she pulled her hand off her daughter's face. She smiled kindly though which made Shane feel good that he'd apologized. When the woman left the aisle Seth smacked his arm.

"Why in hell did you apologize to that lady?" He wasn't pissed just real curious.

"Cause we were making out right here in the aisle and her little girl could see us. I would have apologized if I were kissing a girl too. Kids just shouldn't have to see that."

Seth smirked and shook his head. "You sound like an old man."

Shane laughed then looked back at the three ring binders. He picked out a black one with a picture of a sunset on it then grabbed a pack of pens and a pack of pencils. Seth grabbed his note books and supplies too and they dumped them in their cart at the head of the aisle.

"Boy I never thought I'd be applauded for kissing a guy in public."

Seth who was pushing the cart looked absolutely giddy about it. "I'll have to mark this occasion."

Shane turned back to him and smiled from the front of the cart. "What should I get Don for his birthday?"

"Don't know man," He said shrugging. "You gotta decide that way it's totally from you. You'll feel better about the gift."

Stepping out of the main stream of traffic Shane stopped to think. Seth edged the cart over to the shelves and waited patiently. He knew Shane would have no problems making friends at his school. Shane was no doubt one sexy guy and knew it was not just him that felt that way. Now that he had a body to go with his cute face and had clothes to accent his new hot body he was gonna make the gay guys go crazy and the straight girls swoon.

Shane held up a finger a huge smile on his face. "I got it!" He grabbed onto the front of the cart and pulled it and Seth along behind him to the electronics department. He walked straight over to the DVD's and picked out two movies. Ones they'd rented over the summer and Don had said he'd have to add those to his collection when they'd been done watching each one.

They left the store after paying for their goods and went to Friendly's for lunch. On the way home Seth pulled onto a dirt road then out into a deserted field where they had a long session of sex. Shane did not get dropped off til nearly eight o'clock. Seth helped him in with his things then kissed him on the cheek and left.

Don and Tad who were sitting on the couch called him into the livingroom. Shane thinking he was in trouble for being so late walked cautiously around it. "We thought you might want to show us what you got. For clothes." Don said smiling seeing from Shane's look that he thought he was in trouble.

Shane's face lit up and he went out and got his bags. Leaving the bag with the DVD's on the stairs, he tucked it in between two shirts that were there of his clean laundry that Tad always stacked at the bottom of the stairs so he could take it up to his room when he went.

Tad and Don both seemed to love his choices and he loved that they had wanted to see them. After showing off his purchases he took everything to his room and put it all away removing all the tags on the clothes and hanging them up in his closet.

Once his things were put away he looked around his room. His room that he absolutely loved. The floor here was hardwood as well but a light blue rug covered most of it. His bed was tall with dark mahogany bed posts and head board. The walls were white at the top and the dark wood at the bottom and he had two windows that looked out over the front lawn.

He had a night stand desk and a bureau and another table with a stereo on it. It looked like any normal kid's room. He'd added several blown up pictures of his trip to the walls several of him and Sam together as well as the whole group. Tad had given him frames which he said he had stacks of down at his antique shop. He'd polished them all up to a high shine and put the pictures all in. It had taken him a day and a half but the end result was well worth it. It gave his room character and individualized it as his.

He took a flying leap onto the bed and cuddled up with Shep. "We really lucked out here boy did you know that."

Shep adjusted him self in Shane's arms and licked his face. Shane figured that was him agreeing.

The morning of Don's birthday Don had to go to work. Prescott cove started a week earlier then the school he would be going to.

Shane stood in the diningroom doorway while he filled his briefcase. "You make sure and tell Mrs. Narchek I said hi and I'm really gonna miss her." he said leaning against the door frame.

Don laughed and shook his head. "I thought you would have sent me off with an enema as a welcome back present for her."

"Oh yeah that'd been a good idea."

He snapped his brief case closed and disappeared into the kitchen to give Tad a kiss goodbye. He came back out a minute later and patted Shane on the shoulder. "You have a good day."

Shane nodded and smiled then gave him a quick hug. He'd not been without Don around hardly at all that summer and knew he was going to miss him being home with him all the time. Still not daring to leave him totally alone Tad had taken the week off to stay with him. He didn't feel bad about not being trusted to be alone. He still had spells where he got real pissed off and started hitting himself though they weren't so frequent he knew if he were left alone if it happened he would not be able to stop himself and didn't know how far it could go as he had so little control over these episodes.

He watched Don pull out of the driveway and waved as he took off down the road. "Get in here and eat your breakfast we've got work to do boy." Tad's voice hollered out from the kitchen.

Shane walked through the diningroom and into the kitchen where his pop tarts were already in a plate with a glass of milk standing behind it. He pulled out a stool from under the island and sat down. "So tell me again what we are gonna do tonight?"

"First we are going out to dinner." Tad put his elbows down on the counter and leaned over. "Some fancy Schmancy place so you gotta wear your best clothes. Then we are gonna come back here have cake and ice cream and Don will open his presents. I picked something up for you to give him."

Shane dropped his pop tart. "Oh Tad, I'm sorry, I forgot to tell you I already got something."

"When did you get a chance to get anything?" he looked totally confused he'd not told Shane til Sunday it was Don's birthday today and he hadn't left the house since.

"When I went school shopping."

"How did you know?"

"It was on the back of the door." Shane turned his upper body and pointed over at the door. "I just came across it one day. I wasn't snooping."

Tad dropped his head down between his hands and sighed looking very forward to the day Shane stopped thinking he was gonna get in trouble for every little thing. He lifted his head back up and tousled Shane's hair. "Well I've just got something extra to give him now." he said smiling.

Shane smiled back and picked his pop tart back up.

"You need a hair cut."

He nodded as he chewed. "I know." he said once he'd swallowed.

"Well then why in hell didn't you ask?"

Shane smiled a guilty smile and shrugged.

Tad shook his head then went over to the cupboard where he pulled out all the ingredients they would need for the cake. Shep scratched at the screen door and Shane jumped down off the stool and let him in. "I didn't get any wrapping paper though. Do you have some?" he asked while getting back up on the stool.

"Sure, what did you get him anyways?"

"DVD's. Fried Green Tomatoes and Spitfire Grill."

Tad nodded very impressed that Shane had remembered Don saying he wanted those. "He's going to love that."

Shane smiled feeling warm all over while he snuck a piece of pop tart down to Shep.

"You know if you give your food to the dog you aren't going to maintain your weight that you've gained."

Shane's mouth dropped open he'd been sure Tad wasn't looking. "How in hell did you know I did that?"

"Shep is a loud eater Shane." he turned and grinned. "And his food is up in your room. Therefore he had to be eating something you had just given him."

Shane chuckled. "Oops."

"So what do you want to do for your birthday. You get to choose whatever you want around here."

Shane stopped mid chew. "Mine ain't for 5 months."

"So you'd better get thinking on it."

Shane shook his head and swallowed hard. "I don't celebrate my birthday."

"But that was just cause you didn't know when it was." he leaned over the counter again and studied Shane. "Wasn't it?"

"Well sorta but now I know and I still don't want to celebrate it."

Tad reached over and put his hand on Shane's. "Is it cause of your mom?"

He took a deep breath as he nodded. "I just don't think it's right to celebrated somethin' that killed someone."

Squeezing Shane's hand tighter Tad's heart flip flopped. "What if you celebrated it on a different day? Not your birth just the fact you are another year older. It's just not right to have no way to mark the changing years."

Shane rubbed the back of his neck. "You could give me my birthday spankings." he started chuckling then started outright laughing.

Tad shook his head and laughed along. "You miss those or somethin?"

Shane shook his head still laughing too hard to talk. He jumped down off the stool and took his plate and glass to the sink. His laughter died down and he helped Tad make the cake. "Well you gotta think on it Shane. We gotta celebrate it somehow, what day and what you want to do will be up to you."

After putting the cake in the oven they wrapped their presents in the livingroom. Tad showed Shane the best way to do it after sensing he was getting real frustrated with his many failed attempts. "Just take it slow Shane. It takes a while to get good at it." His chin was quivering and Tad knew he was on the verge of tears. Shane was his own worst critic and he was harder on himself then anyone ever should be. When his failed attempts at things didn't cause him to hurt himself they got him crying instead.

Don and Tad had thanked their lucky stars when the tears started coming out more then his violence. Larry though no longer Shane's therapist now, had said at the time that was progress.

Shane only stared at the DVD's and the piles of crumpled paper around him. Tad sat down on his butt next to him and put his arm over his shoulder. Shane leaned into him and let his tears fall. He hated it when he was so stupid and hated the crying that resulted but after a good cry he was usually able to regroup and start over fresh.

Tad held him tightly tears like usual falling down his own face at seeing Shane cry. Something he knew Shane had every right to do but he still hated seeing it. Shep paced the floor whining obviously hating it as much as Tad did.

Shane pulled out of Tad's arms about five minutes later and wiped at his eyes. "I'm sorry Tad," He said shaking his head miserably. "I don't mean to."

Tad rolled his eyes. "Don't apologize Shane. Geez, everyone cries."

"Not over every stupid little thing." he pushed the DVD across the floor with his finger.

"You don't cry over every little thing. It's been like a week since you last cried. And I like it a whole hell of a lot better then you hurting yourself."

Shane snorted. "Yah cause then I still cried."

Tad grinned and gave him a quick tight squeeze. "You are doing just fine Shane, you just need to stop being so hard on yourself. You just expect so much of yourself no one could stack up to the expectations you set for yourself."

"I just want to be like everyone else." he looked at Tad desperately. "Why would that be so hard."

"Cause up until three months ago you didn't have the advantages everyone else had. You were raised with no love and no guidance. You had to learn everything on your own despite incredible cruelty being inflicted on you every day. If everyone else were treated as badly as you were then everyone else would probably not being acting as well as you are."

"What if when I go to school I have these crying fits? What if I do make friends then have one and they all run away scared."

"Do you really think Seth would run away scared if you started crying?"

Shane looked down at his hands and shook his head. He'd already cried in front of Seth and he hadn't run away scared. He'd only held him in his strong embrace til Shane felt better.

"Well then don't worry so about it. You are gonna give yourself an ulcer with all your worrying."

Shane grinned shyly and nodded. "Okay," He sniffed up the last of his crying snot and wiped his eyes one last time with the back of his hand. "I guess I'm ready to try this again." he pulled the DVD's back to him and Tad showed him just what to do. Though they in no way came out wrapped perfectly it was far better then his other attempts so he stuck a big bow in the center of it and held it up.

"I guess this'll do."

"I say it does just fine."

Dressed to the nine at seven o'clock sharp they walked into Chez Monet's a large and as Tad said very fancy restaurant that over looked the water dead in the center of Cliff side. Having reservations they were led through the diningroom where soft music was playing, silverware clinked together and soft voices muttered over tables. There was elevator music playing low in the background and the large room full of tables was dimly lit making the candles on each table stand out like stars on a night of a full moon.

Shane had never been in a place so fancy and on the way to the table kept looking down at himself in his beige pants white shirt and dark blue suit coat hoping he measured up to his environment. He'd certainly never dressed up so much but still wasn't sure it was enough.

The maitre de placed their menus around a table set for three that was right beside a full length window that looked over the water about ten feet below them where the waves were crashing over rocks. Don and Tad both sat down and Shane was elated to sit in the seat with the best view out the window.

He followed their lead and picked up a menu looking it over he saw it was all in some other language. Maybe french he shrugged to himself then lowered the menu. Don was smiling over at him. "You need me to translate?"

Shane nodded shyly and Don went down the menu explaining what things were. Being in a place so fancy and so out of his league he wanted to try something new so he decided on scallops figuring since he was on the ocean he should have seafood.

He accepted Don's offer to order for him having no idea how to pronounce what he wanted. He pointed it out to Don, "Oh yeah I was thinking of having that myself."

He smiled thinking it was good that he wanted something someone else would want too. The waitress came with water glasses and took their order. Shane was looking out the window the entire time as Don took care of his order.

"Shane."

He jerked his head away from the window and looked over at Tad. The waitress was now gone and they were alone again at the table. "Yeah?"

"That girl was checking you out." he said pointing to where the waitress had been standing.

Shane immediately blushed. "Stop it." He shook his head like that may shake the red out of his face.

"I'm not joking." Tad chuckled at his reaction.

"He's not." Don added. "She certainly was there's no doubt."

"It ain't my birthday you guys. You don't have to flatter me."

Don and Tad both laughed. "We aren't trying to flatter you. Watch next time she comes back you'll see it."

She came back with their salads and rolls five minutes later. Shane did notice her eyeing him and did not recognize her from Prescott so knew that couldn't be why she was looking at him so funny.

Tad grinned at him when she walked off. "Do you see?"

"I seen her looking it don't mean she thinks I'm cute. Besides it don't matter anyways I'm taken." He warm feeling flooded through him and a warm smile filled his face thinking of Sam.

"Well I know that. I just wanted you to see that you do turn heads now."

Shane reached out for a roll and set his mind to buttering it too embarrassed to continue with this conversation. Tad smiled at Don and shrugged while Don grinned back at him.

Shane had never tasted anything that tasted as good as his scallops he instantly named them his new favorite food. After they left the restaurant they drove back home and settled into the livingroom where Don's presents were already set out on the coffee table. Shane sat on the floor with Shep and watched Don open his presents smiling happily each time Don kissed Tad in thanks for each new present he opened.

Not on purpose he opened Shane's present last. Shane almost started crying when he realized he'd forgotten a card but held it in not wanting to ruin Don's birthday with one of his crying fits.

Don loved the movies and thanked him repeatedly as soon as they ate cake and cleaned up Shane retreated to his room to let his tears over the forgotten card fall. He was curled up on the bed his suit coat over his legs when Don walked in the room.

"What's the matter son?" He asked walking over to the bed. He sat down in the space between Shane's knees and arms and looked at him worriedly.

Shane turned his face up to look at him and wiped at his tears pissed he was caught at crying. "It's nothing. I'm just real happy is all."

Don put his hand on Shane's arm and shook his head. "I can tell the difference between your happy tears and your sad tears and these are definitely sad tears."

Shane rolled his eyes wishing he could not be read so easily. "Did you think I don't like my gift? Cause that would be just foolish. I love my gift. Did you want a kiss too so's I could prove it to you?"

Shane chuckled and turned his face into the pillow while pulling his knees up further and gently pressing them into Don's back. Don reached behind him and squeezed his thigh. "Come on pucker up."

He rolled over onto his back and looked up at the ceiling. "I just felt bad cause I forgot to get you a card."

Don sighed and laid down beside him on the bed. He took Shane's hand, holding it in his own he moved it over to his chest. "Why are you so hard on yourself Shane? Why can't you see how good you are? Why do you always focus on what you consider wrong and not pay any attention to all the good things you do?"

"I don't do much good sir. Most kids my age are out working, or winning awards, helping out people in the community by volunteering and stuff. All I do is sit here. I've got nothing to show for myself and it bugs me when I can't even get the little things right."

Don let out a slow breath squeezing Shane's hand tighter he turned his head on the pillow and looked at him. This handsome young man that had come so far and didn't even see his own greatness. One that had been told too many times he was worthless and something to be ashamed of that had taken every word to heart despite the fact they were totally false. Who was trying so hard to prove to himself that he wasn't a reject of life that he was torturing himself in the process.

He didn't know how to handle the situation both he and Tad had talked to him til they were blue in the face and though Shane was doing a lot better he seemed at this point to be at somewhat of a stand still in his self perception. He hoped he would get over it but truth was he was already doing better then most people expected of him and no one held any guarantees on how much farther he would or could go.

He knew Shane had the potential to be whatever he wanted to be. The only thing holding him back now was his self hatred. Something that had been forced on him by the people that were so cruel to him his entire life. "I found you a new therapist Shane. You're first appointment is Friday. Tad needs to take you to the doctors that day too. You need to get your physical and immunizations before school starts.

"Shawna?"

"You like her don't you?"

"Well I guess. She's already seen me naked so I don't want to go to no one else. Whose this shrink?"

"Max Jefferson. He's about thirty, new to the profession and gay. I thought someone younger may be better for you. Remember you gotta give him two weeks then if you don't think it's gonna work out you gotta say so. And don't say it just cause you don't want to see one cause I'm gonna keep hauling you to different ones til you find one you like."

Shane rolled over on his side. He put his head up on Don's chest and pulled their clasped hands up closer to his face. "I'm sorry I act this way sir, I try to stop I just have a hard time."

Don bit down on his lip his chin quivering with emotion and put his other hand up on Shane's head. "I have no problems with the way you act Shane. The only problem I have his that you don't give yourself enough credit. You don't see how special you are and that's still holding you back. Your dad and all those kids you went to school with were so wrong Shane. They didn't even know you, those kids at school judged you soley on your clothes. And your dad just never gave you a chance. If any of them had gotten to know you, like Sam, Seth and Matt have then they would have been your friends too."

Shane turned his head on Don's chest and looked up at his face. "How were all my dear friends back there?"

Don grinned as he brushed Shane's hair off his forehead. "Just as snotty as ever. Those kids will probably never change. They are too sheltered in their crappy little town to know how they are really supposed to act. There's already some rumor going around about you making out with some guy in Wal mart up in Providence."

Shane put his hand over his mouth and laughed. "That ain't no rumor sir."

Don lifted his head from the pillow and studied him curiously. "You and Seth?"

Shane nodded. "there were two girls there from Prescott. They were staring at me. Seth pointed them out. It pissed me off that they were staring so I planted a big ole kiss right on Seth. I wanted to see them squirm."

Don grinned then chuckled. "Good for you. Good for Seth for going along with it."

Shane smiled he was tempted to tell Don about the relationship he and Seth had that it was more then just good friends but he knew it was not something normally done. Though he wanted to be normal he also wanted to be this close with Seth and it didn't matter if it made him abnormal he just didn't want everyone knowing about it. He knew Sam was his number one guy and prayed the two of them would be together forever.

Friday at noon just after they ate lunch Tad and Shane got in the SUV and headed for town. "You think you could just tell Don I went to see this therapist..." he paused and looked out the window. "And while you're at it tell him I went to the doctor too. We could just go to the beach or something instead."

Tad patted his knee and shook his head. "Sorry buddy. I'm not gonna be the one to piss Don off."

Shane nodded and sorta grinned despite his fear of going to the doctors that was only slightly less then his fear of seeing a new shrink. The day before had been hard enough registering for classes at his new school which was about five times the size of Prescott Cove high. This new school had two levels and four separate hallways. He knew damn well he was gonna be totally lost his first few weeks.

He'd signed up for all the required Junior classes which included English, Algebra II, and U.S. Government and Phys Ed. Plus he got to choose three other classes. The list had seemed endless and after much thinking while Tad and the principal chatted away about other things he'd decided on Art, Music and sign language. He was required to take a foreign language and had thought he would take French after the episode at the restaurant the week before but seeing sign language was available and though not foreign it qualified he chose that without hesitation.

There'd been a deaf boy at Prescott high that was ignored by everyone. Shane had always thought if he could just communicate with the kid that maybe they could become friends. The kid being deaf could not have known what rumors were always circling about Shane and he figured for many years if he were ever to have a friend this deaf kid would be his best bet. He'd never been able to communicate with the kid though, knew he couldn't and never tried.

"Whatya thinkin' about?"

Shane turned back to Tad and smiled. "Just school."

"You nervous?"

Shane rolled his eyes. "Well yah."

Tad squeezed his knee and nodded already having it set in his mind to tell the new therapist about Shane's fears about everything in hopes of getting him on some anxiety medication. The other two therapists were old fashioned hippy types and did not believe in the modern things such as psychotropic medication. But Shane's fears often made him physically ill. He'd heard him throwing up more then once in the night. He'd always been fine before bed and was always fine the next morning. Tad and Don had both decided he was lying in bed at night worrying so much on probably pretty much everything that he made himself sick.

This was something new that had just started in the last few weeks but the closer school got to starting the more frequently it was happening.

Shawna Deering who had not seen Shane since early June nearly fell over when she walked into the exam room and saw him sitting on her table with his gown on. She could not get over what a little much needed weight had made such incredible difference in his appearance. His face had filled out making his features blend together smoothly his face though she'd always thought was very cute was now downright stunning. His arms were well defined and she could easily make out the well defined muscles in his biceps and forearms. Even his calves which were hanging over the side of the table were now well defined and a good four inches thicker then the last time she'd seen them.

She looked at his chart and saw he'd gained 30lbs since she'd last checked on him at Tad and Don's house. "Well Shane." She said not able to hide her amazement in her voice. "You certainly look a lot healthier how do you feel?"

He looked at her nervously. "I feel fine."

She listened to his heart and checked his reflexes. She looked in his eyes, nose and throat then felt around his neck chest and stomach. Everything checked out fine. "Eating okay?" she knew that from looking at him but it was a routine question.

"I eat all the time." He was looking more relieved now and she guessed it was cause the exam was near it's end.

"Going to the bathroom okay?"

He blushed. "Yes ma'am."

"No aches or pains?"

"No,"

"Headaches or nausea?"

"I get headaches sometimes. Not bad ones though."

She walked over to an eye chart on the wall and had him read through the lines. "You need glasses Shane." she was absolutely sure of this as he'd only been able to get through three of the lines correctly.

"Oh no ma'am." Shane stated his voice full of panic that was rising in him like a tidal wave. He couldn't wear glasses he just knew it. That as well as his other flaws would certainly peg him a loser. "I just wasn't concentrating enough before." He started reading through the lines again.

Shawna watched him already knowing the letters. He was guessing, she knew that and he was guessing wrong.

"You won't need to wear them all the time Shane. Just for reading and seeing the chalk board."

Shane shook his head tears burning down his cheeks.

She walked over and put her hand on his knee. "Honey it's okay, lots of kids wear glasses."

He let out a sort of whimper and pushed her hand away. "You are lying. You want me to have no friends." he jumped down off the table and started furiously pulling on his clothes. "You are a bitch."

She approached him again and reached out to touch his arm. He drew it back violently. "Stay the fuck away from me." in trying to get away from her while pulling up his pants he stumbled crashing into a chair then falling down on the floor.

"Shane honey just calm down." She reached out again and he slapped her hand and pressed himself further into the corner.

"GET AWAY FROM ME!" His tears still poured from his face she couldn't tell if he was more pissed or more scared it seemed he was an equal mix of both. Having a good idea her presence was only making his panic worse she left the room and got Tad from the waiting room.

"You gotta go in there Tad, he's real out of it right now. He's pissed and he's scared."

"What happened?"

"I told him he needed glasses. That got him crying. When I tried to comfort him it set him off. I think he thinks I'm gonna mess with him."

Tad swore under his breath then hurried into the exam room where Shane was kneeling on the floor trying to pull up his pants. He was shaking so bad and crying so hard he was not having any luck. "Shane?"

His head shot up to Tad his face a pitiful mask of fear. Tad knelt down in front of him and Shane melted into his arms sobbing uncontrollably. Tad rubbed his head and back and soothed him with his voice. After several minutes the sobbing ceased replaced with quiet crying and sniffling.

Tad reached down and eased up Shane's pants while Shane stayed pressed into his chest.

"She's lying Tad. I don't need no glasses. She just hates me like everyone else. She wants me to look like a fool."

"She doesn't hate you Shane. She's actually very fond of you. She would never lie to you about something like that."

"She's just like the rest of them. She's a bitch and I hate her."

"The rest of who Shane?" Tad held him out at arms length and Shane's head sagged towards the floor.

"Women." he shot out bitterly. "I hate women." His head shot up and he glared over at Tad. "I hate them cause they hate me. I'm not wasting any more of my time trying to be nice to them. They all hate me and that's that. I don't give a fuck anymore."

"Put your shirt on Shane." Tad stood up having no idea how to deal with this freshly surfaced problem. Shane stood and put on his shirt his mannerisms and facial expressions conveying he was more pissed off then anything right then. Once he was dressed Tad handed him the truck keys. "You go out and wait there. I'll be out in a few minutes." He straightened out Shane's hair which was standing up in a few places and still badly needed to be cut.

Tad located Shawna. "How is he?"

"Not good. I'm glad we are going to the therapist next. He thinks all women hate him and therefore he hates all women."

Shawna sighed and shook her head. "Well I guess that's to be expected."

"I'll see about getting him glasses, or contacts."

"You need to Tad. His sight is real bad. No wonder he didn't get good grades he couldn't see a damn thing."

When they got to Maxwell Jefferson's office Tad had Shane wait in the waiting room who had not spoken a word since leaving the doctor's office. He walked into Maxwell's office. Maxwell was a tall and lean man who looked more like he was in his early twenties then on the crest of his thirties. He stood up and shook his hand then nodded to a chair.

"I know Don already told you all about Shane on the phone. But we just had an episode I thought you should know about too." He explained what happened at the doctor's office while Max made notes.

"He hasn't had much contact with woman has he?"

"No, his mom died when he was born other then that it was just teachers and the woman that moved in with his father."

"So the women he has had contact with haven't been nice in fact between the woman his father moved in and a few teachers Don mentioned they've made a point of being nasty to him."

Tad nodded. "I'm not saying he's not justified in his feelings. He just can't go on feeling that way."

Max nodded too. "Well it's gonna take some time and he's gonna need actual proof that's something that can't be proven by words from me."

Tad also explained to him about Shane's other anxieties, while Max made more notes. "Don mentioned that to me too. I'll write out a prescription for Paxil give him a few weeks on it and see if he improves at all. If he does I'll make it an open ended prescription."

"Okay well I guess that's all the tattle tailing I have to do."

Max smiled. "I'll talk to him a while then I want to talk to the two of you together okay?"

"Sure," Tad pointed over at the door. "You want me to just send him in now?"

Max nodded and stood up he held the door open and smiled out at the boy Tad walked over to. Tad said something and the boy looked over at him. A very handsome boy Max thought despite the fact he looks scared to death.

Shane stood and walked to the door keeping his eyes averted from the man who pointed over to the couch. Shane walked over and sat down perching himself on the edge of it ready for a quick get away.

Max walked over to the couch and pulled a chair up to it. He stuck out his hand. "My name is Max."

Shane leaned back a little further to make more space between them and shook the man's hand. He certainly liked how the guy looked.

Max reached out a hand behind him and stretched over to the desk for his note pad. He noticed Shane grimace as he saw it. "What's wrong?"

Shane shook his head and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Does it bother you when people make notes about what you talk about?"

Shane's eyes fluttered up he looked at the man for a moment and slowly nodded his head.

"It's just so I don't forget something. Would it make you feel better if you could read my notes when we are done here? After each session?"

Shane's heart twitched a bit like maybe one of the several elastics holding it tightly in place had snapped. No one had offered him this before no one seemed to care if he knew what was being written about him or not. "You'd really let me do that?"

"I see no reason why not. I mean they are all about you, seems you should have a right to read them don't you think?"

"Yes sir," he didn't want to admit it especially so soon but he thought maybe he was going to like this one.

"Well why don't we start with how you feel about living with Tad and Don, how things are going for you there."

"I really like living with them." Shane put his hands under his thighs and pressed his thighs down on them to keep them from fidgeting. "And I really like that my dog gets to live there too."

Max nodded having heard about the boys incredible relationship with what was now his dog but Don had said it used to be a neighbor's dog.

"Tell me some things that you like about Tad."

Shane moved is head from side to side thinking. "Well I think he's real funny. He treats me like a grown up and not some dumb kid. He cares about my opinions even gets me food that I like to eat. And they include me in their plans."

"And what are some things you like about Don?"

"He's real nice. He's a little stricter but I don't mind that. I have no doubt that he cares about me." He looked at Max and cocked his head. "You can just tell in the way he acts. You know?"

"Sure, there are lots of ways to show you care, you don't always have to say it right out loud. Just like there are lots of ways to show you don't give a shit without coming right out and saying it."

Looking a little shocked Shane chuckled his fondness for the man growing.

"I hear your boyfriend is living up in Maine. That must be tough, not being with him all the time."

"Distance makes the heart grow fonder." He said it before he thought and now realized he sounded like a real geek but he'd only grown to love Sam more through their long talks on the phone and long letters emailed back and forth.

"For strong relationships it does. For people who fly by the seat of their pants it doesn't always work out. Do you consider your relationship strong?"

"Yes, Sam's different from most kids. He has a big heart he sees beyond the surface of things. I have no doubt in his love for me and I have no doubt in my love for him."

Max smiled. "That's a real wonderful thing isn't it? Love?"

Shane nodded looked directly at Max and smiled.

"Did you love anyone before Sam came along?"

"I had another boyfriend but I don't think I loved him, I loved being with him but I don't think I actually loved him. I didn't know that at the time, but I know I felt totally different about him then I feel about Sam."

"Did you ever love anyone else Shane? Like not in a boyfriend way?"

He shook his head sure he had pretty much hated everyone else growing up. "I loved Shep."

"Your dog?"

Shane nodded.

"He watched out for you huh?" Max said smiling.

"Yes sir, he used to share his house with me. And we used to play a lot. When kids chased me home from school when I was younger I'd run to his house cause I knew he'd protect me from them."

"Did you get chased home a lot?"

"No not after I started going to Shep's."

"So you must have been a pretty fast runner to get there before anyone caught up to you?"

"I just had more reason to run." Shane grinned and shook his head. "You know like a mother who can lift a car off her kid, adrenaline, I guess it's called. I was scared and it made me run faster."

"It must have been hard though to run home like that knowing what you were running to was as bad as what you were running from."

Shane made fists under his thighs knowing the man had creatively turned the conversation to his father. He had spoke to no shrink about his father and was not ready to start now. He looked away from Max and over at the clock.

"You not like to talk about your home before Shane?"

Shane lowered his eyes from the clock and focused on a spot on the wall not giving any indication either way other then in his silence.

Max changed gears and talked about less painful things and Shane rejoined the conversation. They talked for another half hour then Max handed over his yellow pad.

Shane looked down at it and saw it was mostly just his answers to questions. One sentence caught him though. Does not seem confident enough to discuss his past. "Did you write that just to guilt me?" He asked pointing the sentence out to Max.

"No I wrote it cause that's what I think."

"It ain't got nothing to do with confidence sir, it's my business and no one else's. I'm sure you've already been told everything by Don, that pisses me off cause like I said it's my business and I don't understand why it is important you need to hear it all over again from me. Do you like that shit? Do you go home and lay in bed think back on it and beat off?" He was trying to hurt this man cause he felt hurt not to say he didn't still like the man he just wanted him to know how it felt.

Max surprised him though he stayed calm did not even flinch. "Don or your father could write out every little detail of what you lived through for me but that doesn't help me to figure out how you feel about it. And it certainly doesn't help me in my masturbation techniques." Shane raised his eyebrows as Max grinned. "And I'm not just wanting to hear that it pissed you off or made you sad. That to me is pretty obvious. It would be even if I hadn't met you. I want to know how it affected you. How it made you feel about yourself and how you think it affects you now."

"The way I can see that is to have you tell me things. Tell me what happened and how you felt about it. It's the only way I'm going to get to know you enough to be able to help you sort through your confusions and fears."

Shane pulled his hands out from under his thighs and rubbed his hands together. "Okay sir, I'll try harder. I'm sorry I said what I said." He was totally thrown off by this man not getting mad at him and figured he must not be a bad guy because of that. If he had to see a shrink and had to make it work for him he thought maybe this was the best person to do that with.

"Don't worry about what you said Shane. I'm not mad about it. If I'm gonna sit here and make you talk about stuff you don't want to talk about I don't expect you to never throw an insult my way. It's all part of the process. When you do that it just lets me know you are human."

This pleased Shane even more. He smiled warmly at Max and nodded.

When Don got home that evening Shane was in his room with only two days left before school started he wanted to get everything ready. Don knocked on his door and Shane motioned him in since the door itself was already open.

"Well what did you think?"

Shane turned from his desk where he was stuffing his notebooks into his back pack and put his arm up on the back of the chair. "I think I like him."

Don's face lit up though Tad had told him he'd thought Shane had, to actually hear it from Shane's mouth was much more exciting. He sat down on the edge of Shane's bed. "Tad seemed to like him too. Says he's not all stodgy like most shrinks."

Shane nodded. "It felt kinda like I was just talking to a friend, like maybe he wasn't a shrink at all. If I can pretend that maybe I'll be able to talk to him about more then flowers and stuff." He grinned shyly and moved his foot across the floor while studying it's movement.

"Didn't go so well with Shawna today though I hear."

Shane shook his head and gripped the back of the chair. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay Shane, we need to talk about it though. No matter how you feel about her or about women in general the fact still remains that you need glasses. If any of those useless teachers back at Prescott Cove had, had any sense they would have seen that a long time ago."

"I don't want no glasses sir, I can see just fine."

"No you can't Shane. I've seen it myself I just never made the connection. You always hold your books real close to your face, and your headaches you get those cause your straining so much to see. Don't you think it might be nice to be able to just see? Think of all you could be missing."

Shane ran his foot along the carpet again pressing his toes in so he could see five separate trails along the carpet.

"You won't have to wear them all the time. Just when you are actually in class. And believe me you are not gonna be the only kid with glasses. Remember John Moore? He wore glasses. And he's got tons of friends. It didn't make him a loser."

"But I already am a loser. This will only make it harder for me to try and not be a loser."

"You are not a loser Shane. No one but Seth and Brian know you at this new school and they both really like you. You are starting out with two friends already they will both introduce you to their friends then you'll have more friends. Glasses will make no difference."

Shane put his hand up to his mouth pressing his knuckles against his lips. "I'm not gonna have choice am I?"

"You don't have a choice in getting them Shane but I can't sit by you in class and make sure you wear them. That's why I need to make you see that they are not a bad thing. And make you see how much they will help you. It's no wonder to me why you're grades weren't so good. God Shane you couldn't even see. The fact you passed at all with all that you were living with and not being able to see it quite miraculous to me. I cannot imagine how well you could do now with the ability to actually see your work."

The next morning Don gave Shane his prescription for glasses and wrote out a check leaving the amount blank. "If you don't spend this on glasses I'm gonna know." He said with a small grin as he handed it over. "And if you don't I'm gonna make you buy those black thick ones that the real geeks wear even tape them up in the middle and sit next to you in class and make sure you wear them."

Shane grinned as he folded up the check and put it in his back pocket. He was feeling a little better about the glasses and was real glad Seth had offered to go with him to pick them out.

He was in the kitchen eating breakfast when Seth walked in. "Hey," He said sitting on the bar stool by Shane. He looked around to make sure they were alone then planted a kiss on Shane's cheek. Shane shivered as cool trickles of arousal glanced through his body.

"So you got any diseases we should worry about?"

"No," Shane chortled out.

"You gonna send a copy of your medical report to that bitch who thought you were diseased."

"Yeah but I'm gonna doctor it up. Say I do have some bad disease. Get her to worrying you know." Shane had told Seth a couple weeks earlier what the woman had done to him. He hadn't meant to it had slipped out but Seth had been so great and so understanding he did not regret it for long in fact he even told Sam. Sam had cried but not cause he was upset with Shane. He assured Shane that he only felt real bad for him and Brian for that matter. Though Shane did not really want anyone feeling bad for him it was better then the reaction he'd braced for. The reaction where Sam would get pissed at him for not doing more to stop it. He should have known Sam wouldn't do that but couldn't help the way he felt.

He shoved his last bite of pop tart into his mouth and took the glass of mostly gone milk and plate to the sink. At the sink he down the rest of the milk burped then smacked his fist into his chest. "Scuse me." He said looking wearily over at Seth who was only chuckling at his rudeness.

Don called them into the livingroom as they walked into the entry way. "You can stay out all day if you want Shane. You don't have to come right home. If you are gonna be later then nine though call just so we don't worry."

Elated that someone may actually worry about him he nodded enthusiastically. "Thanks Don."

"And don't forget my threat about the glasses."

Shane chuckled as he reached the door with Seth. "I won't."