Shadow Love

"Shadow Love"

By – Justin Balancier Jbalancier9@yahoo.com

The house was a bit on the chilly side but after all it was December in the North East. Eric grew up in this New England country house.

As a small child, he played hide and seek in the bay window and always got his way. The window seat lifted up to store fire place wood and that is where Eric would hide mostly from his mother until she caught on.

The years, growing up, were kind to Eric. He was a man now in his thirties and terribly spoiled from childhood. His parents divorced when he was twelve years old and he lived with his mother until three years ago. His mom had been besieged with breast cancer and passed away, leaving the property, a healthy bank account, and a life time of memories for him to deal with in his solitude.

Eric was an average looking man with plain features. He wasn't terribly handsome or bright in some people's opinion, but nevertheless had magnetic appeal in all the right places. He was a man who could act like a drama queen or a full blooded stud. And, he did just that, whenever the spirit moved him. It was his outside harshness combined with sexual charisma that drew the moths to the flame. Often he was taken for rude, when underneath beat the heart of a gentleman.

Eric depended on his personality and his lanky well-defined body to make friends and even some enemies. The friends were not really friends as much as the foes that made jest of him. It forced him to stand tall and be strong.

These people, the jesters, whom he considered the enemy, had no respect for his grasp on life. But did Eric care? You bet he cared, at first, and then the madness changed.

He endured closeness with `so called' enemies who were willing to fool round with him. And there were several of them. Eric pleasured their bodies with erotic games of his choosing. It was a case of use or be used. It didn't matter, friend or foe. He mastered people by using sex. And he was good at it.

You see, Eric wasn't lost, but actually quite bright. He was conniving and could outwit those he thought were trouble but interesting sexually.

This is how Eric performed at his best. He competed zealously for people he could control...that is, until a dark haired, green eyed Irish package named Gavin, became his shadow. In the beginning, this Irish wonder, was someone he merely tolerated. Maybe it's true that "Everything good comes to one who waits."

The house was a bit on the chilly side, because it was December and ice had gathered on the glass of the bay window during the night. But the afternoon sun was melting it away.

Eric, while sipping a cup of tea, gazed through the blinding sun incinerating a blanket of ice on the ground.

Steam rose form the hot cup that he balanced on his knee and supported by his left hand. His cell vibrated in his shirt pocket. He recognized the number. It belonged to his closest sex partner and very special friend Gavin. He didn't answer the phone right away. Instead he thought about Gavin.

Gavin was Irish, not terribly huge in structure, but moved like a Celtic tiger and smelled like Irish Cream. There was a glow of the Emerald Isle about him. He had satirical wit when he spoke and an uninhibited body when he walked. Gavin was the combination of good and naughty, something that Eric liked a lot in a man.

They were companions, each with desires feeding off one another's sarcasm. They would exasperate bedroom games, trying to outdo one another. Since they were significantly alike when it came to erotic gratification, they made up all sorts of bedroom games.

Gavin loved to have his body eaten, licked, drilled, you name it. It was the erotic stuff he really liked doing, and would try anything except being rope tied or handcuffed. Oddly enough, Eric was the same way. Insane play was not their game plan. They played together for pleasure and not pain.

Eric mastered his sexual gratification by keeping Gavin close. Whatever dirty deed they did together, worked well for these two screwed up individuals. This may be overdramatizing their play time, but nothing was left unexplored, when it came to their bodies. Every drop of nastiness was licked away clean, only to start anew.

Gavin was a self-employed computer programmer working independently and moved a lot around New England. He was well trained when it came to computer software. Gavin was too much like Eric to be his lover or housemate, but he yearned to be near him.

Gavin wanted his own place with a garage for his car. So he rented a furnished month by month studio apartment close by. In fact, it was so close, that Gavin could see Eric's driveway a block away from his apartment.

They slept together often, but went their separate ways never becoming romantically involved. For the mainstream gay couple, this agreement is rough. For them however, it worked perfectly. They were cool guys, but they were also sluts.

Eric finally answered his phone.

"Gavin – what's up? He asked

"I saw Joe's big white pickup, a few minutes ago, coming from your house...you didn't?"

"Didn't what – make a pig of myself?" – Of course I did. I need to keep up my strength. I'm a bit worked over right now, but I'll survive. I always do. Besides I couldn't pass up naked Joe." Eric replied

Joe, who was the summer gardener, knew Eric was gay and got along with him as a friend. He was straight and a married man. In the winter, Joe would put his half-ton pickup truck to work, plowing Eric's driveway.

After about a year, he became much closer to Eric and `yes' it became sexual. Eric slobbered over him dishing out boundless blow jobs that Joe took advantage of eagerly, giving nothing in return.

They were friends, running repeatedly to Eric's bedroom. Eventually the sex got hotter and dirtier. Joe was getting his butt rimmed and his cock sucked as a fringe benefit. It surely wasn't the daffodils that kept him coming back. He liked how Eric treated him sexually by licking him all over. He was no queer, but he was available - of course.

Joe, a married forty two years old man, liked to rest naked in Eric's bedroom. His legs often in the air while lying on his back. He would advance his butt against Eric's face to get tongue fucked, fingered and licked. Joe's knees would press against Eric's naked shoulders then work around his neck locking him into a cock suckers grasp for working on Joe's rather large cock.

It was a common and ridiculous ploy, benefiting the both of them. Joe eventually would come in Eric's mouth (or anyplace for that matter) then get dressed and leave. It didn't bother Eric as long as he got what he wanted. It was a well-practiced routine, but not boring.

There was little bedroom respect, actually, no respect at all. It was just faggot sex. Gay sex was something Joe would never get at home. So he used Eric like a pig to get what felt good to him. To Joe, sex with a faggot, didn't count for much. Eric however, believed he got the best of the bargain and probably did. Joe was hot.

*******************************.

The conversation over the phone, between Gavin and Eric continued.

"I had a captivating hot shower after doing Joe. He's left and now I'm having tea to warm my bones looking at the snow." Eric said

"How adorable, a snow slut on call. Did you save me anything?" Gavin asked

"Yeah, I suppose so... Drag your stuff over here and see. I'm isolated, so bring me a present."

"Do you want anything special?"

"Surprise me. But if you have a bottle of vodka - just sayin..." mumbled Eric.

"Hum, that's a tall order in a snow storm. What can you do for me?" asked Gavin.

"How about, spread like an eagle, lick like a puppy, fuck like a rabbit, swallow like a slut. Should I go on?"

"You're impossible with that tongue. I thought you were worn out." Gavin uttered

"Who me? I'll check my throat for stains...Nope, I'm good."

"That's disgusting, but I'll take it. I'm coming over." Gavin said and clicked off.

The sun disappeared behind a cloud, or wherever the sun goes when it wants to hide.

It began to snow again much harder, and huge flakes came down heavy for a few minutes. Then they turned into a fine steady snow coating the ground. The property looked like white linen, void of footprints, with only tire tracks across the driveway; it was a lovely sight; even if you are not fond of snow...

Gavin was one of those people who disliked snow. He really didn't want to drive when it was snowing. Eric figured that the car was not about to come out of the garage since it was snowing.

Eric wandered around the living room, carrying the same cup of tea. He moved to a comfortable winged chair in the enclosed heated porch. It overlooked the garden covered with a blanket of snow. Stretching his legs over a large red hassock and resting his hand on his crotch, he closed his eyes just for a moment.

He wiggled until he felt comfortable in the Victorian chair, and reminisced about meeting Gavin. It excited him every time to the point of leaking gently between his thighs. He always got warm remembering how he met his best friend, whom he called, the Irish wonder.

Eric stirred in the chair and Gavin's face floated through his mind. The head of his dick began to moisten with a small drop of precum. In his dreams, he relived sex with Gavin over and over, with erotic imagination. It was the surprises that kept them close. Gavin even moved into Eric's neighborhood just to be near him.

The meeting...

It was summer. I don't remember the day, only the moment. Eric was naked on a nude beach in Massachusetts, lying face down sleeping on an old Army blanket

His body was fine with sensual long legs, that's a given, and a marvelous butt and that's for sure. Sculptured round, firm and with just enough dark hair lining his crack to wet ones appetite, pretty much describes it. The concept of a warm dark place to hide a stiff body part comes to mind, thinking about Eric.

"Hey there, sleeping beauty – you sleeping?" It was Gavin, a dude wearing a white tennis cap and loose beach pants.

Not stirring or looking around – Eric replied. "No, I'm waiting for a bus – fuck off."

"Jesus, what a nasty bitch - dyke."

Eric rolled over and leaned up on one elbow. "Would it help, if I said, sorry – you surprised me, and I'm not a dyke."

"Oh, then you're just a bitch?" Gavin asked

"Yeah, I am pretty much – I wasn't really sleeping."

"I know you weren't sleeping, and I didn't surprise you either. I know how this stuff works on gay beaches" My name is Gavin.

"So peddle it elsewhere. I don't care what your name is.

"Okay, one more time - I'm Gavin.

"Okay, I'm Eric, and you - Gavin are irritating."

"Well at least, I know your name. C'mon Eric, I'm fascinating. Give me a fuckin break."

"Sure, fascinating plus annoying. Dude, just go away." Eric said

"I didn't expect you to agree. `cause you don't know me. Everyone has a story and mine's not boring. Nothing about me is boring." Gavin replied, with his hands in his pockets and pushing his hips forward so Eric could see a hefty bulge in his pants. Gavin stretched his arms over his head, like he was posing for Playgirl magazine. He had a fine packed body and not skinny like a reconditioned little queer. Gavin didn't say another word to Eric, instead he walked away.

Eric watched how Gavin walked. He had a controlled gate with every step. He walked with an air of determination and sexy masculinity. "Nice, very cool walk," Eric thought.

"Hum that is good-looking stuff. Gavin had a composed movement about him, almost a western stroll. "But, if that showoff, with his ranch hand walk, thinks I'm going to chase after him, it's not going to happen. He's already in second place" Eric said to himself.

This was the way Eric played his game assuming that people who approached him were jerks, yet, maybe not. Gavin could be a stimulating player. He certainly had the toys to play with.

Later, as it was getting dark, Eric walked on to the beach and sat on a rock near the water's edge. Early evening the beach was scant with cruisers, but by 2:00 am, it became a meat rack of slurpies and sand fucking queers.

Eric had no problem meeting men. Yes, even early morning on the beach. The sex was usually good and sometimes the sex was mediocre. Still it was always worth tracking through the sand after dark, looking for Mr.Gaybar.

Eric stayed sitting on the rock looking at the water splashing against the sand. He wanted to be alive swallowed up in the lust of life swimming in whatever faggots flounder in for contentment. But it just wasn't happening.

He kept everybody he liked and disliked close to him. It didn't matter, below the belt, they were all the same. Eric could use a little fire and lust about now, so he sat patiently waiting for the primates to come hunting. He liked wildness in a hook up. He could kick himself silly for telling Gavin to get lost this afternoon. "Good Lord, when will I learn"" he asked himself."

"We meet again sleeping beauty" said a man who had walked so close to Eric's chest, he swore he could hear his heart beating. His white shorts were unzipped au natural, and his crotch was in front of Eric's face. It was Gavin. They were alone on the beach and this time things were different. Without talking, he put his hand through the open zipper and a warm cock came sneaking out. It was swollen but not rock hard.

Eric was not bashful. He may have been a sarcastic bitch, but bashful wasn't part of his portfolio, when it came to sex.

Not a word was uttered and without hesitation, Eric covered it with his moist lips and licked it like ice cream... It was a normal cock with a lot of taste to it. The crotch tang and the moisture from his balls were precisely what Eric liked. There was a lot here and fascinating like Gavin had told him earlier on the beach.

He managed to suck him less than ten minutes before he came. His cum was mild, creamy and slippery warm as it ran down Eric's throat. He kept coming and Eric gulped not to miss anything. Gavin, pinned his head into his crotch and kept uttering, as Eric was swallowing, "take me" - "eat me" or something demanding like that. Could this be the fire and lust that Eric was looking for?

"I told you I had something good beside my personality," Gavin said

"I don't remember you saying that, but you did say `fascinating",

"Well?"

"Well what? - Okay, I was wrong. Okay – okay, you're fascinating." Eric admitted.

"Do you still want me to leave, and fuck off?" Gavin asked

"It doesn't matter much, what you do"

"I see I have some work to do here, if we are going to be friends.

"Friends? Naw - I'll pass." Eric responded.

"Awe, suck em and ditch `em, huh?"

"Something like that."

C'mon, I'm going to get us something to eat. Real food - well, c'mon, my treat." Gavin insisted.

"I'll pass," Eric replied brushing sand off his pants.

"You didn't pass on a dick in your face."

Eric cracked a grin for the first time almost a friendly smile. He finished brushing specks of sand from his shoes. "That is true, I didn't." He replied looking almost angelic.

"Well then?"

"Okay, I'm coming, but I warn you, I don't make for a quality companion."

"Well I don't either, so shut the fuck up" Gavin replied adjusting his cock back into place.

Now they were both smiling at one another. It was a start...

This meeting began a rock-solid relationship built on sex. It was amazing how much alike they were when their naked bodies came together. They were both mouth masters and their lips went everyplace one could imagine. They tore into each other like freaks and it mattered not who was top and who was bottom. They did lots of hungry sex together, and they did it to be slutty, effective and content.

They were a team, if one could call it that. No crotch was left untouched, actually it was pretty pathetic, but regardless of what others thought - it was their game and the object was to be themselves. They were an odd version of the odd couple.

Togetherness transported them back to childhood imagination. Eric's thoughts traverse school hallways to bullies and his darkest fears of gay bashing. Those closet days were behind him now. As a man, he lived as he damn well pleased. He feared nothing from nobody.

For Gavin, as a boy sex became a sport, using skill to conquer what confronted him. He remembered moments of being alarmed about women as well as men, when his body developed into manhood. He mastered fucking as a teen ager, with an Irish cock very much in demand. He was gay.

Eric and Gavin were not the best role models for other gay men. Without regrets, they were obviously pathetic. Nevertheless, they believed they were terrific.

Come April, the winter snow melted away like it always does and buds appeared on the lilacs bushes. Like a parade of spring flowers in the town park, tulips were popping out of the ground.

Joe, the grounds worker, and Eric's clandestine sexual play toy, still maintained the garden for Eric.

On Saturday, Joe brought along a helper. His name was Leon and he was around thirty, still living at home with his mother and married sister. That fostered a hint of whatever'- but not enough to raise a red gay flag. Married or single, didn't make a bit of difference to Eric. But he thought bout it.

Leon was a superb looking black dude. Yes indeed, very fine. Eric was "hands-off" touching Leon and didn't make a play for him. He certainly wanted too, and the thought went to his agenda. He just had to think about how to do it. He loved the taste of chocolate.

Leon knew that Eric was gay, and it was no big deal. Joe had told him earlier, not that it made any difference. He wasn't gay himself, but Eric's business was not his flow.

Just the same, Eric devious mind worked overtime thinking about the black stud just on the other side of the kitchen door, bent over churning soil. Color didn't play a role here. It was the man himself.

He spoke to Gavin on his cell and told him about Leon helping Joe in the Garden.

"Let's get him naked between us." Gavin said

"How you going to do that without coming out and asking him?"

"Let me think about it." Said Gavin

"Don't pull the old "I'm fantastic" routine. He doesn't give a damn about that."

"I know – I know. It has to be his idea." Gavin replied

"A-huh, his idea...that's a good one."

"I'll see you in a little bit" Gavin slurred, and clicked off the phone.

Shortly after, Gavin stopped by with a laptop that he cleaned for Eric. Joe and Leon were raking dead leaves from the lawn. He paused in the driveway to talk with Joe.

Gavin was forward and one never knew what was coming next out of his mouth or his pants for that matter. He was also talking briefly to Leon.

He came into the house, carrying the laptop and a pack of cold beer. He placed the laptop on a kitchen chair and the beer in the fridge.

"I see you met Leon. What were you saying to him?" Eric asked

"Not much, he's not all that talkative. I offered him and Joe a beer before they leave. I said to come in and get a couple of cold ones from the fridge. I knew you wouldn't care."

"Mighty decent of you"

"I thought so."

Eric poured a mug of coffee. He leaned over pouring the coffee and Gavin playfully bit him on the ass.

"Damn, what's that for? Eric asked

"Like you don't know!"

Gavin pressed into Eric's body, pinning him against the kitchen counter. He kissed his lips with a gentle nibble using his teeth and some tongue for wetness.

Eric kissed him back running his tongue over his lips and blending spit together. He grabbed the cheeks of his ass pulling him in closer to him. Eric could feel Gavin's hard tool pressing into his crotch. He felt horny, which was no surprise. He loved the dick between Gavin's long legs.

Gavin unbuckled his pants letting them fall to his ankles. He was exposed with his balls resting in an Irish forest of black crotch hair. Without delay Eric's hand found the warm flesh that was so familiar to him.

He worshipped Gavin's generous highland cock. He loved holding it, stroking it, and especially licking it. It brought back memories of their encounter on the beach when he touched Gavin between his legs, and swallowed his warm cum. He loved his taste and his crotchy odor. He just loved it.

"I have a knock-out load, if you can take it." Said Gavin

"You always do and I always can. I' de like to get Leon between us tho, but he's not a player." Eric said

"I'm not so sure about that. He's a player if the time is right." Said Gavin

"I don't see it. I think you are wrong on this one. Leon isn't like us, you know."

"You mean because he's black?"

"No asshole, because he's a pussy chaser."

"You don't know what he likes. Let's test him," said Gavin

"I know what you're saying. He's not a player, but could be in the right situation." replied Eric.

"Something like that." Gavin answered.

"That could back fire, and he will walk out out of here."

"Duh, who cares" commented Gavin

Eric pulled off his shirt leaving himself naked from the waist up. His tan golden chest was a trip just observing it. There was no skimping on this recipe.

Eric was a five star maniac dealing with cock. He stroked Gavin's hefty dick and it was hard as nails but smooth and moist. Gavin hoped this would be more than just a blow job. Whatever else he expected remained a mystery. With Gavin, one never knew what was coming next until it happened.

Eric drew Gavin's Celtic meat to the back of his throat and held it there on his tongue until he began to willingly choke. Gavin's cock got a wet slippery bobsleigh ride. His crotch was warming the juice in his balls making a gurgling load of sticky cum determined to escape.

Gavin fucked his face until tears ran down his cheek, but he never complained and let him do whatever he wanted. Well, let me back up a minute. He did complain but not much, at first...

Eric didn't resist a whole lot until Gavin told him to `take it all.' Now the scene was intense; and a good reason to complain; but it was difficult to speak. Gavin was pushing his dick down his throat and Eric was choking. It was not a pleasant sight. Then Gavin pulled back to where if felt comfortable.

The glass coffee mug fell to the floor and hot coffee ran across the tile and under the table, but no one cared. They saw it, but ignored it.

The kitchen door opened unexpectedly and there stood Leon. He slowly pushed the door closed behind him looking at the two of them touching and sweating naked against the counter. Eric was on his knees with Gavin's cock fucking his mouth.

"What the fuck?" he started to say but stopped short and just stared at the two of them.

Leon watched as Eric snuggled his face into Gavin's crotch, smelling his balls and squeezing his butt cheeks with both hands.

Leon was their type of onlooker and so far, so good. They loved an audience, as long as it was the right kind of audience.

As the moaning and commands continued; Leon, was becoming aroused, and began speaking out.

"Mutherfucker, this is what you crazy white queers wants me to see? Telling me to walk right in for some dumb beer. Leon blurted out. Damn, that's some nasty shit, you hittin that dick – doin this shit." His expression showed he was uncomfortable being there. He certainly wasn't at ease watching two men lick each other. But he made no effort to leave

"Damn" he continued to mutter, moving closer to the counter looking at Eric half naked, with his face buried between a man's legs, fondling his balls. This shit is fucked up." Leon said.

Gavin slid his cock back into Eric's mouth and let go with a load of warm cum, holding Eric by his ears and talking spiteful to him like he always did. "Take it man – take it- fuckin fag."

Gavin never called Eric a "fuckin fag" before, but it was part of the plan. Leon could see cum on Eric's tongue and it looked hot to him.

Leon was intrigued by the way Eric could swallow cock. He watched as he gulped and opened his mouth to take more of Gavin's sticky nutt.

Finally they stopped their animal recreation that Leon called nasty. It was a matter of minutes and the two of them were once again clothed and looking orderly like nothing had taken place...

"You did that shit on purpose, didn't you?" said Leon

"Did what?" asked Gavin.

"Look, I ain't stupid. You wanted me to see you doin queer shit. Like I don't know what queers do. I ain't stupid." Leon raved on getting a little attitude, but still civil.

"Nobody thinks you're stupid." Said Eric.

"Okay, I ain't stupid, but why show me? That ain't my flow. My bitch sucks dick too, but not that fuckin fine, I'll give you that." He said, now acting slightly more at ease.

"You happened to see it. Nobody showed you. What can I say besides; it's sex Leon – guys do that shit."

"You mean, faggot do that shit." Leon answered

"It's about getting sucked and making your dick wet." Eric added to the conversation.

"Yeah, I know what it is, and that shit is your business, who you be lickin on...

"You're a little retro" said Gavin

"What's that?"

"Retro?"

"Yass, fuckin `retro' – you makin fun of me? Leon said

"Nope - Retro means yesterday's era or in this case not cool with today and stuck in the past. It's the way people see life.

"I get it" said Leon. But it ain't me. I ain't stuck no place. I'm cool with sucking dick ...just sayin"

"Forget it. Said Eric.

"I was gonna help Joe again on Monday." Leon said

"And now you are not going to help on Monday because the big bad queers scared you. Right?"

"No that ain't right. I ain't scared of any faggot. I could do that if I wanted." Leon replied

"Sure, keep an open mind Leon," Gavin added "even straight guys have gay moments."

"Okay, I be trying." He mumbled. Eric handed him a couple of cold beers and he left.

Joe had already picked up the shovels and didn't need any help with clean up. Leon handed him a beer and the two of them sat on the stone wall with their feet dangling, drinking, smiling and talking to each other.

"What do you think they are talking about? Asked Eric"

"He's probably telling Joe, what a good cock sucker you are."

"Like Joe doesn't already know. Leon looked long enough to write a research paper on blow jobs.

"You know, I doubt Leon was shocked like he pretended to be. He was fascinated watching. He was interested alright; He kept getting closer for a better look. Gavin said.

"Yup, it makes sense." Eric added

"Leon's a player; did you see the package rise in his jeans when you swallowed cum? He wasn't turned off, nah, he was turned on, or he would have walked out. I know how wantabee bros think" Gavin said.

"Really? – I'm not so sure. Something doesn't feel quite right."

"That's only a first impression. I know how this game works. I got you didn't I?"

"Nope - it was the other way around." Said Eric.

"If you say so." - Gavin added

"Will check with you later, gotta run," and he left.

Monday, brought a sunny day to a new week. Joe was outside pruning some evergreen shrubs. It was very early in the am, so Eric brought him coffee and a buttered hard roll.

"Thanks for the brew. How did you know I skipped breakfast this morning? The hard roll is just what the doc ordered. Joe said

"There is more of everything, so go in and help yourself. The hard rolls are in a bag on the counter next to the fridge."

"I'm good. But I may get a coffee refill later." He said – "Leon was going to help today but he hasn't shown up." Joe added

"Maybe he changed his mind." Eric said, walking back to the house.

"Sure, and maybe you disgusted him, so he split." Joe mumbled quietly to himself

"What was that? I didn't hear you" Eric exclaimed

"I said, maybe you mistrusted him, so he split."

"Oh, that's nuts. Why would I mistrust him?" Jake said

"Don't know, it's just a guess." Joe blurted out and went back cutting shrubs.

Eric was going to text Gavin, but decided a phone call would be better.

"Hey, it's a beautiful morning. What are you up too?"

"I'm just leaving to drop off a statement crosstown for a web site I created for the Perfect Peddler Antique store. It's a cash deal, so I don't want to mail it. Then I'll stop at the bank and deposit most of it and keep some for running around money and... "Then..."

"Then what? Eric asked

"Then, I am swinging by your place and it's sex `til noon."

"Hump, that's attention-grabbing, to say the least, offered Eric."

"Yup –I only need a sip of wine to know it's a good bottle." Gavin added,

"Now, all I need to do is convince Leon." Eric thought to himself.

Jbancier9@yahoo.com

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