Sexual Therapy

Sexual Therapy

by Sissipus

"Alright, David, how's that feel?"

Red-faced, I replied "A little strange."

"That's to be expected. What I meant to ask was whether or not it was uncomfortable? Too tight? Too loose?"

"No, I think it's okay. Not that I have anything to judge it against."

"Very well." Checking her watch, the nurse told me "I'll just step out for a moment to gather the appropriate make-up and perfume, and when I come back the glue should be just about set." Laying a reassuring hand on my shoulder, she smiled "There's no need to be nervous. Once we get you dressed, you'll feel like a completely different person."

I laughed. Looking down at the prosthetic breasts she had attached to my chest, I wondered again what I had gotten myself into. It had all sounded harmless - not to mention profitable - a week ago in the doctor's office, but I was beginning to have my doubts. This definitely hadn't been what I'd had in mind when I'd first spotted that help-wanted ad.

Absently tapping the phone against my thigh, I'd spent a good twenty minutes debating whether or not to call. The job had sounded intriguing, and I had needed the money, but it all sounded too good to be true. I must have read the ad over a dozen times.

Needed Immediately:

Male participants

for sexual therapy

sessions.

Supervision and

guidance provided by

our highly-skilled

counsellors.

Convenient hours and

good money. Call

today: 555-7273.

"What the hell," I'd finally shrugged, dialling the number. Even if it was a scam, it couldn't hurt to call.

"Good morning," a woman's voice had answered "Dr. Ultio's office. How may I help you?"

"Ah, is this 555-7273?"

"Yes it is." A pause. "Are you calling about the therapeutic assistant ad?"

I don't know why I was surprised to find out the number was for doctor's office. I mean, who else would be providing sexual therapy. Legitimately, that is. "Yes, I am. I was just wondering if you could give me some details?"

"I'm afraid there's not much I can tell you." Sounding sincerely apologetic, she told me "We have to be careful. Such an ad attracts a lot of, well, undesirable people, if you catch my meaning. However, if you are interested, I can set up and appointment with the doctor."

"That'd be great."

"Okay, would you be available tomorrow? Say, around 1:00 p.m.?"

"Sure thing."

As I'd copied down the address from the receptionist, I realized they were in the new office building downtown. Impressed, I began to wonder what their definition of 'good money' was. After all, if they could afford the most expensive high-rise in the city, they must be doing well. Thanking her for the information, I had hung up the phone, sincerely looking forward to my meeting with Dr. Ultio. That had been six days ago.

"Let me just fix your wig - there, that ought to do it - and you'll be all set." Beaming, the nurse took a step back to admire her handiwork. "Even with the extra inch in height, you could pass for our patient's twin sister."

"Can . . . can I look now?" Nervous, I rubbed my hands in my lap, and tried to keep from shaking. I could feel my new nails scraping against my hands, the weight of my new breasts, the tightness of my clothing, the unfamiliar texture of my make-up, and the soft caress of my new hair against my back, but I had no idea what I looked like. From the moment the nurse had returned with the makeup and perfume, she had insisted I keep my eyes closed.

"Just a moment." Helping me to my feet, she steered me across the room and smoothed out the wrinkles in my dress. "Okay, when I count to five, you can open your eyes."

The moment she said the word 'five' my eyes shot open and then blinked shut again in surprise. My heart racing, I stared at the image before me, unable to believe it was me. I was accustomed to looking in the mirror and finding a tall, thin, short-haired, unshaven man on the other side, but it was as if he had never existed. Instead, I was seeing the reflection of an attractive young woman with an ample bosom, high cheekbones, long blonde hair, and a dainty waist that somehow appeared three or four inches smaller than before. I wasn't a knockout, but I knew the breasts would be enough to earn a second look from most men.

"So, what do you think?"

"Amazing," I gasped, "Amazing." Looking at the picture in my hand, I remarked "I'm her. You've actually made me the girl in the picture."

"That's right." Taking the picture from me, the nurse checked her watch again and nodded. "We have just enough time to teach you some basic mannerism, how to walk, etc., and you'll be ready."

"I don't know if I'll ever be ready."

"Trust me, you'll do fine." Coming up behind me, she grasped my shoulders tightly and offered this advice: "Just remember, for the next few hours, David J. Thomas does not exist. He never did exist. As long as you are in this building, your name is April. More than that, you are April. Understand?"

Trying my hardest to remain calm, I nodded. She sounded awfully serious - almost angry - but I figured it had to be my nerves. Either that, or she was just being professional. Actually, the more I thought about it, she sounded exactly like Dr. Ultio had during that first interview.

"So, Mr. Thomas." Leaning back in her leather chair, the doctor had asked me "Why do you want to work with us?"

Trying not to let myself be distracted by the goddess before me - and failing miserably - I had replied "To be honest, I need the money. That, and it sounded interesting."

For a long moment, she remained silent. I was sure she must have noticed me staring at her magnificent legs, so I shifted my gaze to her face, determined to retain eye contact. Instead, I just found myself staring at her breasts, which seemed to be screaming 'touch me, feel me, devour me.' Her personality and her approach to the interview were entirely cold and professional, but her body seemed to be too much for anyone to control.

"Do you wish to help people? Or are you entirely selfish?" Startled by her voice, I vividly remember feeling myself jump and hoping she hadn't noticed. Feeling like an idiot, I told myself to concentrate.

"Ah, I think helping people is very important, it just wasn't what made me call." Sweating like a pig under her penetrating glare, I had added "But yes, I do wish to help."

"Hmm." Forcing me to endure another moment of painful silence, she finally nodded "Very good. You see, Mr. Thompson, if all we wanted were do-gooders, we would have asked for volunteers. No, we need people who will be motivated to excel, to do their very best."

"Well, money is a great motivator."

"Yes, it is." Glancing down at my resume, Dr. Ultio had made a few notes and whispered softly to herself. Finally, she looked back up and informed me "I think you'd do well in one or our more exhaustive therapy encounters." Handing me a single sheet of paper, she asked me to sign it before continuing.

Already scribbling my name across the bottom of the page - unable to refuse her request (demand?) - I had asked "Not to be rude, but what am I signing?"

"Just a standard release. It says you will not discuss our techniques or theories outside of the office. Regardless of whether or not you decide to work with us."

If anything, that just piqued my curiosity. Handing her the page, I smiled "You can trust me."

"Yes, I think I can." She'd been smiling while she said it, but her smile was nothing like mine. Whereas I had been trying to crack the ice and put us both at ease, I got the impression she was simply announcing her confidence that she could keep me in line. It was both frightening and arousing at the same time.

"What we do here," she explained, "Is provide counselling, therapy and support for female victims of abuse - verbal, physical and sexual - rape, and other associated crimes. This is not, I repeat 'not', and fun and games establishment."

It was at that point that I had begun to lose interest. But, not wanting to show it, I had asked "What would I be expected to do?"

"Well, we have various levels of involvement, but I think you would be best suited to our total immersal and role reversal."

What the hell was that? "Pardon?"

Sighing, the doctor explained "In laymen's terms, you will be a model for the victims to use in explaining the details of their assaults and a replacement for them during re-enactments of the crimes. It's a way of allowing the women to distance themselves from the crime and still deal with the experience."

I really wondered what I was doing there. When I had called the number in the paper, I had thought I'd be getting paid to have sex while a bunch of doctors watched. This was not what I had expected. "I have to be honest, Dr. Ultio - I don't know if I'm the right man for the job."

"I think you are." Crossing her arms, she smiled "You're forgetting the motivation. For each session - be it an afternoon, an evening, or an entire day - you will be paid $1000 cash."

She had recovered my interest. "A thousand dollars?"

"Yes."

Smiling, I had asked "Tell me more . . ."

"David? Are you there?"

"Yes." In a deep hypnotic trance, I found it hard to concentrate on anything but the doctor's voice.

"No, you are not. David is gone. Understand?"

"Gone?"

"Yes. Where he once was, now only April remains."

"April." The nurse had told me I was April too. Maybe I was.

"Yes, you are now April. You are a twenty-three-year old woman and you are feeling sexy."

"Yes. April. Woman. Sexy."

"Good, very good. Now, you broke up with your boyfriend last week, so you've gone out to enjoy yourself. Do you remember that?"

"I don't know."

"You do remember that. It happened."

"Yes. We broke up."

"You did. And then you went out dancing. You just wanted to enjoy yourself and be free."

"Free. Yes." Absorbing my new identity and memories like a sponge, I smiled as I remembered dancing the night away in my beautiful pink dress and matching pumps. I felt sexy and wanted to make him feel guilty.

"Alright. Now, you're on your way home, and it's late. Can you see the darkness? The streetlamps?"

"Yes." Her voice was so powerful, so commanding, I found I could instantly remember everything she said. David would have been surprised, but I didn't remember him anymore.

"Okay, now I want you to open your eyes for a moment and look to your right." Watching me obey, she asked "Who do you see before you?"

"I . . . don't . . . remember." There was someone standing there, but it was a stranger. Actually, it was the real April, but since I was April, my subconscious refused to process that information.

"That is Steve. Your ex-boyfriend."

"Steve. Yes. I loved Steve."

"You did, but not anymore. You hate and you fear Steve."

"Hate. Fear. Why does Steve have to be here?"

"Shh. Close your eyes." Once I had done that, Dr. Ultio commanded "When I snap my fingers you will remember everything I've told you. You will think you are on your way home and that Steve has just confronted you. You will not see or hear me."

"Yes, I will remember."

"What about my revenge? You promised." The whisper came from my right, but I wasn't conditioned to hear it yet, so I ignored it."

"Quiet. I'm getting to it. Now, April, what I'm going to say next is very important."

"Important. Very. Yes."

"April will resist, but will secretly enjoy being raped. Repeat."

"April will resist, but will secretly enjoy being raped."

"When we are finished, David will replace April and will remember enjoying it. Repeat."

"When we are done, David will replace April and will remember enjoying it."

"David will also feel April's shame and hurt, but will feel a need to experience it again. Repeat."

"David will also feel April's shame and hurt, but will feel a need to experience it again."

Again, the voice I wasn't allowed to hear asked "You mean, he'll think he enjoyed being raped by another man and want to do it again?"

"Yes. That's what your boyfriend accused you of at the trial, didn't he?"

"Yes, the bastard."

"Then this is your revenge. We can rape him as many times as it takes for you to feel vindicated."

"Then let's get started."

"April, when I snap my fingers you will awaken, but will not consciously remember our conversation. Understand?"

"Yes."

'SNAP' A second later, I blinked and found it odd that I was laying down on the sidewalk. Thanks to the doctor's commands - and the nurse's crossdressing assistance - I honestly thought I was a sexy young woman walking home.

"Hello, April."

"Steve!" Leaping off the couch, I asked "What do you want? Just leave me alone. Please."

"Mmm. I like it when you beg."

"Good, try to remember what he did and said as closely as possible."

Unable to hear the doctor, I pleaded "Just go. I don't want any trouble."

"Oh, yes you do." Grabbing me by the hair, the real April dragged me away from the couch and desk. She had her hair tied back and was wearing jeans with a leather jacket - to look like Steve - but nobody could honestly mistake her for anything but a woman. Anyone but me, that is. Despite the visual evidence, I sincerely believed she was my ex-boyfriend and unconsciously limited my resistance so as to be incapable of overpowering the stronger man.

"Steve, please! It hurts!"

"Yes, but you always loved it rough!"

Yes, I did. I was enjoying it, but couldn't let him know it. "Please, what do you want?"

"Hmm, to start with, I think I'd like to get a look at them tits of yours!"

Ripping my dress down the front, he grabbed my bra and pulled. In addition to the fear and pain, I also felt upset over the loss of my favourite dress. Dr. Ultio had programmed me well. Finally, he bent the clips open and freed my ample bosom, immediately grabbing the nipples and pinching them with all his might.

"Oww! Steve, stop!" I actually thought I could feel my breasts being mauled, despite the fact that they were only a rubber prosthesis. Loving every moment of it, I cried "No, please, it hurts too much!"

"Mmmm, you know, I always did want to devour those beauties." Smacking me across the face, he leaned down and began chewing on my fake nipples, actually tearing a piece of one off in the process.

Actually feeling the pain and seeing the nonexistent blood, I revelled in the thrill of the moment but protested "No, stop! I swear, I'll kill you if you don't stop!"

"Amazing," Whispered Dr. Ultio, not having to worry about me overhearing her. "The more violent you become, the more he enjoys it. The more he enjoys it, the more frightened and panicked he appears." Rifling around in her desk, she tossed something to the real April and said "Sodomize him. I want to see how he responds."

"Fuck off, Doc. This is my revenge fantasy." For some reason, I couldn't hear that either. Perhaps because it was aimed at the (to my mind) non-existent doctor.

Grabbing my hair, Steve forced me to my knees and growled "Open wide, you slut!"

Yes! Yes! I wanted him to fuck my mouth. I needed to feel his stiff prick against my lips, my tongue and in my throat. However, I couldn't let him know that. Clamping my jaw shut, I hissed "Come near me and I'll bite your fucking dick off!"

"Try it and I'll kill you." Taking a moment to strap on the immense black dildo, the real April smiled and slapped me again. "Open up, bitch!"

Mentally prevented from using all my strength, I felt her yank my jaw open and shove the dildo in. While it was obviously a cold, rigid plastic device, I could feel the warmth of Steve's cock and taste the pre-cum dripping from the head. In addition, I could feel the blood pulsing through it every time it touched my tongue. I so wanted to lick and suck at the magnificent organ, I wondered it I could keep my desire a secret. Of course, I couldn't know I had no choice, so I began crying and did my best not to encourage him.

"Suck it, you whore!" Grabbing the back of my head, he began slamming his cock deeper and deeper into my mouth, fucking me as if my mouth were a pussy with teeth. I secretly thrilled at his hands as they grabbed fistfuls of my hair and found myself growing more aroused with each thrust of his powerful hips.

Looking down at the dildo sliding past my lips, the real April cursed "Too bad I can't come. He made me suck him dry and swallow every drop. Then he painted my face with the cum that escaped." Slamming into my face even harder as she recalled events, she complained "He can't really know what I went through."

"Yes, he can," the doctor laughed cruelly. "That dildo is hollow. Or, it was until I filled it with dog cum this morning."

"You mean, I can actually fill his mouth with dog cum?"

"Yes. I could have milked him for his own cum, but I wanted you to feel you were really humiliating him."

"Oh, you're the best, Doc." Returning her attention to me, Steve growled "Here it comes, baby! Get ready to eat cum!"

Cum! Yes! Oooey, gooey, cum from the cock of my man. Oblivious to their recent conversation I thrilled at the thought of my boyfriend filling me with his seed. Just the thought of it caused me to cum myself, although I couldn't feel it since girls didn't have cocks. "Nnnnggg." Trying to pull away, I had to make him think I didn't want the cum.

Seconds later, Steve came in my mouth. For me, it was pure bliss feeling my boyfriend explode in my mouth, filling me with his sperm. The first few jets went right down my throat and into my stomach, and I felt disappointed that I couldn't taste them. However, he soon began pulling out and I could taste the next few spurts, although I couldn't savour them like I wanted. Finally, he pulled all the way out and shot the last few spurts of cum at my face, covering me with his precious seed.

"Mmm. You liked that, didn't you bitch!" Using the dildo to rub the dog cum all over my face, April laughed "You look so pretty with your spermy face."

As much as pained me to do it, I forced myself to spit out a stream of cum so Steve would think I didn't like it. When he slapped my face and held my jaws shut, commanding me to swallow, I felt a kind of euphoria like I had never imagined. Not only had he blessed me with a meal of his semen, he had also allowed me to bathe in it. I desperately wanted more, but couldn't let him know. "You bastard. I hope they throw you and prison and let some big biker fuck your mouth like that!"

"Another of your fantasies, eh?" Laughing, the real April barked "That's exactly what I wanted for the bastard!"

"Fuck him, April, ram that monster up his ass and split him in half."

Lewdly stroking the dildo in front of my face, she complained to the doctor "But I'm out of dog cum. I want him to feel his insides filling with shame, just like I did."

"Alright, well, strip and him and spank him or beat him for a few minutes." Getting up the doctor, sighed "I'll see what I can collect from the men's bathroom upstairs."

Hearing neither the doctor nor April's words to her, I kneeled on the cold pavement, fixated on the spectacular cock in front of me. I could feel its cum drying on my face and never wanted to wash it off. I so wanted to reach out clean that beautiful tool with my tongue, but knew I couldn't. The sight of so much wasted cum on its slippery surface brought tears to my eyes, and I wished he would rape my mouth again.

"Okay, slut, now its time to get naked!"

Yes! Finally! Now I could show him my body, the body I had kept covered all night, hidden from prying eyes. What better reward for all he had done for me than to give him my naked, exposed flesh! Of course, I had to make him think I was afraid and disgusted. "No, please. Not in public, Steve." Shuffling backwards, I cried "What if someone sees me?"

"Then they'll know what kind of slut you really are!"

"Please, Steve, no!" Growling, he pushed me to the ground and stepped on my back while he stripped me naked. Despite the fact that he was fulfilling all my exhibitionist fantasies, I had to fight. Kicking and screaming, I secretly hoped he would throw my clothes down the sewer so that I would have to walk home naked. To my disappointment, he just tossed them out of reach.

"Oooh, look at that ass. Just made for spanking!" Again and again he struck me with his callused hands, bringing angry red welts to my ass. Not trusting myself to lie about enjoying it, I chose instead to whimper and sob, hoping he would think they were tears of shame rather than joy.

"Here." Having returned from her cum gathering expedition, the doctor tossed the dildo back to April. "I paid a bunch of guys to jack off into it, so it should be nice and warm and fresh for you."

"Oh, yes." Her eyes shining, she strapped the dildo back on and asked "Do you think he'll be upset if we don't use some kind of lubrication?"

"Oh, most certainly, but he'll enjoy every minute of it." Resuming her seat behind the desk, the doctor added "Oh, when you're done, take the money out of his wallet. Tell him whatever you want, but I intend to be reimbursed for that cum."

Nodding, April grabbed my hips and pulled me to me knees. "Up, cow!" Finally! Unable to hear their conversation, I'd been wondering why Steve had remained silent for so long. I knew I should have used his lapse to escape, but was hoping he wouldn't pick up on that. It was crucial he not realize I was enjoying every minute of my rape, and my staying put had been a big gamble. Nevertheless, as I felt his fully engorged prick press against my ass, I knew I wouldn't regret it.

Looking back at him with tears in my eyes, I pleaded "Please, Steve, anything but that. Please, I don't want to be fucked." Shaking with feigned fear, I sobbed "Don't put it in me, please!" Despite my protests, I wanted exactly that.

"Shut the fuck up." Giving me a delicious slap across the face, he reared back and shoved his cock halfway up my pussy with a single thrust. Feeling my insides come alive with sensations, I mentally willed his cock to keep growing as he fucked. I knew it was impossible, but I wanted to feel his cock banging against the walls of my uterus. More than that, I wanted him to fuck through my uterus and fill my stomach with his precious seed directly.

"Oh, yeah, baby!" Ramming into me again and again, Steve groaned "Oh, you're so fucking tight! I don't know how a whore like you manages to keep your twat so tight, but I'll loosen you up."

"No!" Crying out in protest, I told him "Steve, I was always faithful to you. I promise! I'm not a whore." Oh yes I was, and I would continue being a whore long after he was finished. However, if I tried to make up with him, maybe he'd think I was getting desperate. Maybe he'd think I'd given up on beating him, and was trying to stop the rape some other way. Yes, and maybe that desperation would make him fuck me harder!

"Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck." His balls slapping against my red ass with machinegun ferocity, Steve made it clear he didn't give a damn how I felt and I loved it. The simple knowledge of how much pleasure I was giving him was more than enough to trigger an explosive orgasm, but I knew I couldn't allow that. That would make him think I was enjoying it, and then he might stop. I couldn't allow that.

"Doc." Not stopping her frantic fucking, the real April asked "Is there any way to make him think I'm fucking his ass and not his pussy?"

"That wasn't part of your rape, was it?"

"No, but I want him to be as humiliated as I was. I want him to feel the same kind of shame I did, and I want that shame to carry on past our little session. Thinking he enjoyed being fucked in a non-existent pussy is one thing, but I want more!"

"Hmm, I understand." Shrugging, the doctor said "Just pull the dildo out and tell our volunteer that you're going to fuck his ass. He'll believe you."

Not wasting any time, April ripped the dildo from my hole. The instant it was gone, I felt a crushing emptiness in me that I desperately wanted filled. Steve's cock was everything to me at that moment, and I wanted him to fuck me forever. Or, at least until he filled me with his beautiful cum. "Please, no more," I begged, secretly hoping my helplessness would turn him on enough to continue fucking. "Please, Steve, just let me go." Sobbing uncontrollably, I told him "I promise I won't tell anybody."

"Shut the fuck up, I ain't done yet!" Yes! I'd get to feel his magnificent tool again! Slapping me across the ass, he told me "I'm just switching holes." Placing the tip of his cock against my ass, he told me "This time, I'm taking what you'd never give me. I'm fucking your pretty little ass."

Oh, yes, yes, yes! That was so dirty and disgusting, I wanted it, needed it. Of course, my programming prevented me from letting him know that. "Oh god, no!" Shaking all over, I pleaded "Please Steve, not my ass. I can't take you up there. You won't fit." Hoping the promise of pain would push him over the edge and into my bowels, I screamed "You'll rip me apart!"

"Damn right!" Digging his fingers into my sides, Steve rammed his cock up my ass. It felt a hundred times better than being fucked in my pussy. The walls were tighter, more sensitive, and the taboo nature of anal sex gave me an unmeasurable thrill. I was in slut heaven, and knew that if he came in ass, I'd never be able to hold back the orgasm building within me.

"Owww! Fuck, Steve, it hurts so much!" Christ, I loved feeling his stiff prick up my poop chute. "No more, no more. Please, take it out before you kill me!" Actually, I felt like I'd die if he took it out, but I had to keep that my little secret. Again and again and again he slammed into my ass, forcing his cock deep into my intestines. My only regret was that he couldn't force it farther.

"Oh, quit your whining, bitch!" Slapping my face as he fucked me, Steve growled "You know you want it, you prissy little slut. You've always wanted my cock up your ass."

"No! That's a lie and you know it!" Oh god, I so wanted to tell him he was right. He understood my needs like no one else, but I couldn't tell him. Bawling my eyes out, I begged "Please stop, just stop, please, just stop. Please."

"No fucking way!" Increasing the tempo of his fucks, Steve began panting with exertion. "I'm gonna cum, whore. I'm gonna cum and fill your ass!" Yes! I'd never felt his cum in my ass while dating, and desperately wanted to do so now. "Unnngghh! Get ready bitch, here it comes!"

Using my hand to finger my clit, I tried to make it seem like I was trying to push him away. It was risky, but I knew if I could trigger my orgasm at the same time as his, he'd never know how much I enjoyed it. "Steve, no! Enough! Please, don't cum in my ass! Anything but that!"

"Oh jesus fucking christ!" Slamming his cock to the hilt, Steve flooded my ass with his cum. I don't know what I had expected, but expectations were nothing compared to reality. The feeling of his hot, sticky seed splattering the walls of my virgin ass was like nothing I had ever felt. If it felt this good every time, I doubted I'd ever want another man to cum in my pussy again. I'd demand they save it all for my ass.

"Oooh, yes, take it all baby, take it all!" Sending spurt after spurt of semen into my bowels, Steve laughed and howled his dominance to the world. He'd finally let his primal urges get this best of him, and I couldn't be happier. Somehow sensing this would be the end of our exquisite ordeal, I simply dropped my head and pretended to sob in quiet anguish. In reality, I had enjoyed myself far too much to lie convincingly about all that he had done to me. What's more, it took every ounce of willpower I possessed to keep from begging him to do it all again.

"So, feel better?" the doctor asked April. "Did you get the closure you needed?"

Slumping her shoulders, she nearly collapsed in exhaustion. Now that the adrenaline had worn off, the real April was slowly disengaging herself from the illusion the doctor had so convincingly created. "Yes and no," she replied wearily. "I do feel better, but somehow it's still not enough."

"Well, it sometimes takes more than one session. This is not some miracle instant cure, you know."

"I know." Unstrapping the dildo in disgust, she shuddered. "It's just that I feel, well, dirty now that it's over." Backing away from me, she thanked Dr. Ultio for her help but sighed "It's just not enough."

"Well, you can try again if that's what you feel you need," the doctor replied. "I'm willing to go as far as four re- enactments of your rape. After that, I feel we'll be doing more harm than good."

"Thank you. I'll have to think about it."

"You do that." Standing, the doctor came around and pulled the empty dildo from my ass. Confused, I found I didn't know what to say or do so I remained silent. "There is still one final stage to our therapy today," she told April. "Perhaps that will give you the feeling of closure you need."

"Oh, I almost forgot about that."

"Yes, well, let's see how he reacts, shall we?" Kneeling, the doctor looked me in the eyes and said "April? We are done."

Being directly addressed by the doctor seemed to trigger my hypnotic trance all over again. "Yes."

"We're done. Do you remember what I told you would happen when we were done?"

"Yes."

"What was that?"

"April gone . . . David feel April's shame . . . need . . . again."

"Very good. When I snap my fingers, David will be back. Understand?"

"Yes."

"Good." 'SNAP' A second later, April was gone, Steve was gone, the sidewalk was gone, and I was crouched on the doctor's floor feeling more ashamed and humiliated than I had ever imagined possible.

Raising my hands to my head, I tore off the earrings and wig and groaned "Oh, what have I done?" Feeling the bile rise in my throat, I knew I was going to be sick. I'd allowed another man to brutally abuse me sexually, and had enjoyed it. I shouldn't have, and didn't know how such a thing could have happened, but it had. Running for the bathroom, I knelt before the toilet and began wiping away the make-up as I waited to be sick.

"Ah, Dr. Ultio?"

"Yes, David. Good to hear from you."

Shaking so hard I could barely keep the phone still against my face, I asked "Do you have any more work for me?"

"I don't know," she tested, "Do you feel you're up for it?"

No! God no, I couldn't go through that again. "Yes, please. I . . . I think I need to."

"Well, the only session I have this week is with a young woman who had her virginity stolen by a gang of college boys. They spiked her drink and then gangraped her."

No, I couldn't do it. That was even worse than what I (April?), had gone through. I'd rather die first. Barely able to believe what I was hearing, I told her "Oh, yes, that's sounds exactly like what I need."