He should have known that though time was a great healer it was not a good problem solver, despite having two days off to think about everything Sully had still not reached a solution for his problems. He saw only one real answer and that was to face his problem face on.
So here he was, outside the hotel where Nick was staying and looking for the popstar. Of course the hotel was less protected than the last time he had been in a hotel with a popstar but that was probably because no one knew that Nick Carter was in New York and the rest of the band were not with him. Sully still wondered if Nick had security with him. Entering the lobby he was not stopped by anyone and easily made his way to the tenth floor where Nick was staying.
In hindsight Sully wondered if he should have called ahead, checked if Nick was in or if he was busy, but he had not expected to find Nick's door ajar or the shouting that was going on inside.
"I don't care what you think, it's not like that Howie, I'd be there if I could..." Nick shouted in to the phone.
Sully saw a used trolley inside the door and assumed this was why the door was open. He wheeled it outside before shutting the door to give Nick a little privacy, he was of course privy to the conversation but he already knew why it was that Nick was arguing with his bandmate, or he could assume.
"I know he needs me, needs us, but I'm busy"
"Hi." Sully said softly, not wanting Howie to hear him but similarly not wanting Nick to think that he was eavesdropping. Nick smiled and reached out to hit the talk button to cut off his cell. Sully shook his head so the younger man compromised.
"Look, I've got to go, give Alex my love and tell him I'll be back soon. Yes, I promise!" Nick said angrily before hanging up. "Man!" He exclaimed slamming the phone down, then he turned to Sully.
"I take it they don't know why you are out here." Sully asked, although it was more of a statement than a question.
Nick nodded.
"Please tell me that you've come to tell me you're coming back with me. I could use some good news about now." Nick said with a smile.
"To be honest I don't know what I'm doing." Sully said, running a hand through his hair and thinking he ought to cut his hair. "I've spent the last two days thinking about nothing else but I can't come to a decision either way."
"You have to come back. Alex needs you." Nick argued. It was an argument that Sully had said to himself a hundred times but there was an obvious answer.
"Why?"
"Because he needs his friends around him right now." Nick said, this earned him a raised eyebrow, obviously because Nick was not there with Alex. "That's different."
"Different how?" Sully asked, wondering why he was asking all of the questions when he had come here for answers.
"He won't speak to me; he won't see me; I can't be there for him because he doesn't want me there. AJ knows that I screwed up and the only way I could think to show him how sorry I was is to bring you back into his life." Nick said finally. Sully realised that they were finally reaching the truth.
"So this isn't for Alex at all, it's for you?"
"Kinda." Nick shrugged.
"And you get to go from villain of the piece to hero." Sully continued sarcastically. "Why should that persuade me?"
"It's not about that, and I don't get to be hero, I just get to even out the balance." Nick said calmly. "I took you away from him and I'm the one that is bringing you back."
"So you still have all the power?" Sully asked seriously. Nick looked away.
"No. I have the guilt. I hold inside me the feeling of remorse that I did this to him and I have the guilt of that but hopefully it will also gain me his forgiveness."
"Not to mention the forgiveness of your brothers too." Sully said knowingly. "I still don't see what I get out of this."
"You don't." Nick replied honestly. "But that's the point. You always were the better man, you don't need to get anything out of this. Except maybe knowing that AJ is safe and that you were part of the solution to his problem."
"What makes you think he'll even see me?" Sully asked, it was another question that had been plaguing him ever since he had found out that Nick was in town and looking for him. "I walked out on him five years ago and never looked back. It's not as if we're the best of friends anymore."
"You don't get it do you?" Nick asked wide eyed with disbelief. "You were there at the start of all of it, before he started with the drink and drugs and you were there before anyone had ever heard of AJ McLean. That's the point, to remind him that there was a life before it and that there can be a life after it too."
"I just don't know if I can do that to him." Sully said honestly. "I walked out on him once and I don't know if I'd have the strength to do it again."
"Then don't." Nick said. "Heck, you can stay in Orlando forever, or better yet stay here and spend the rest of your life wondering what would have happened. Maybe I was wrong, maybe he doesn't need you after all."
Nick's words were harsh and Sully could see the reverse psychology in action, but it was working. He hated that more than anything else. Nick was right in a strange way. Maybe Alex didn't need him, he certainly didn't need Sully's doubt and uncertainty but that was not for him to decide, that would have to be Alex's decision. Sully at least owed it to him to try.
"Okay." Sully said softly, Nick had to strain to hear it, but he was glad that he had.
"Okay as in you'll come with me?" Nick asked happily.
Sully nodded.
"WooHoo." Nick said. "I'll book the flights straight away. Is tommorrow too early?"
Sully wondered if it was, but he supposed that it was better to do it now than put it off completely.
"I have a few things to do first but I can be ready by tommorrow." He replied. Nick paused for a moment and then went to the hotel phone, as he did so Sully picked up Nick's cell and checked the last calls received, writing down the number he mentally added one more thing to his list of items to do before flying out. Nick wanted this to be a big surprise but that didn't sit well with Sully, he would call Howie first and see if it was okay.
Nick may think he had the power but Sully would not be controlled so easily, not again, not this time. A lot had changed in the last five years and Sully was not the same 19 year old that was so easily manipulated, there was no way he would make another mistake like the one he had made with Pearlman, this time he wanted all bases covered.
There had to be something that he could learn from this.
Howie swore as he threw down his cell in frustration.
He was going to personally kill Nikolaus Gene Carter the next time he saw him. What gave the kid the right to judge whatever it was he was doing as more important than AJ's recovery? It was not as if Nick was innocent in the whole affair, he was responsible for the mess that had started this. If anything he should be the one there grovelling to AJ and not the one that was off gallivanting around taking care of whatever business he had deemed more important than his friend.
Howie knew that Nick and AJ were not as close as they could be but that did not mean that they did not have a good relationship most of the time. Howie knew that AJ had broken Nick's hand but Nick would be out of his bandages by now and he should not hold a grudge. Not when he had kind of deserved the punishment.
Howie's cell rang from it's place on the floor in his own hotel room. He wasn't sure if he was glad that it was not broken or angry that it was ringing, either way he would have to answer it, after all it may be AJ and unlike Nick he took his friend's troubles seriously.
"Hello?" Howie answered tersely.
"Howie Dorough?" A quiet voice asked.
The voice sounded similar to Howie but he could not place it.
"Who is this?" He asked, careful not to confirm who he was until he knew who it was that was asking.
"Howie, It's Alexander Sullivan - Sully. How's Alex?"
Howie gasped at the revelation. He had never expected to see Sully again, in fact he half expected that AJ's former friend was living in Europe or somewhere. He had certainly not expected the man to call out of the blue five years after he walked out on Alex and his family.
"Why should I tell you that?" Howie asked, his tone harsher than he had meant. "Why are you suddenly calling now?"
On the other end of the phone Sully knew that this was make or break point. He had to put up or shut up.
"Nick came looking for me." Sully said simply, trying to ignore the string of epithets and expletives that came out of Howie's mouth. That was certainly one thing that had changed, before he left he would not have heard a lot of those words coming from 'Sweet D'.
"So you decided to call me to tattle on Nick." Howie said dubiously.
"No. I heard you ripping him a new one before and I wanted to tell you, to make sure you know that he is trying to make a difference. There is some stuff that I don't want to go into over the phone but Nick helped me to sort it out and I'm coming home because of him."
"So Nick is a hero." Howie said, this time it was acerbic. Sully knew that it was bad, that whatever he had said had upset the usually calm and levelheaded Howie. But they were things that needed saying nonetheless and they were often things that were hard to say.
"No." Sully replied firmly. "But he is not evil incarnate either. He knows that I would care about Alex, that it would be something I would want to come home for, he's helping to make that possible and if Alex needs me there then I'll be there for him. Nick made that possible too."
Sully left out Joey's help, this didn't need complicating any further by him having to explain why he was affiliated with Nsync as well as the Backstreet Boys, or that he was friends with the gay brother of one of the band. If anthing else it was not important.
"You're coming home? To Orlando?" Howie asked, this time he sounded slightly shocked and there was something in his voice that sounded like happiness. "You're going to be around for Alex too? So you're staying a while?"
"Yeah." Sully replied gently. "A while."
"You remember you owe me a back rub, right?" Howie asked jovially. And just as quickly as he had been angry Howie had forgiven him. That was his way.
Sully laughed, it felt good to relieve the tension of the last few days. He remembered when Howie had started the joke, the older man had caught he and AJ in the throes of passion and then said that if Sully was that good a masseuse that he wanted a back rub. It was a running joke between the three of them, it would have been group wide if the others had even known that he and Alex were together.
"I might take you up on that." Sully said. This time it was Howie's turn to laugh.
"I ought to go." Howie said reluctantly after he had stopped his laughing. Sully sighed in response, it had been good to hear the friendly voice but he had things to pack and he really ought to see Stevey before he left.
"Yeah, me too." Sully replied. "But we'll get together soon. I promise."
"Bye." Howie said softly. Then he was gone, leaving only the soft chirp of the ringer.
Sully looked at the phone and wondered if he had done the right thing. Going back was a big step after all but now he realised that it was the only one on offer. They knew where he was and he was pretty sure that Nick would not leave it at just knowing, at least not now he had agreed to go back, and he had told Howie it would be an extended stay.
Suddenly Sully panicked, wondering what it was that made him make such sweeping changes to his life without thinking them through. He began to list everything he had to do before leaving the city and hoped that he could get it all done.
What was he letting himself in for?
------------------ TBC
Sorry, it's yet another short update but I hope to get some more out soon... thanks to all of you that are sticking with this story. Look out for my new one (an Nsync one) soon...I'll be writing that along with this.