Title: Set Adrift Author: Jezebel the Temptress Feedback: eh_oh_po@yahoo.com
Disclaimers: This story is fiction and it is not intended to imply anything about the true sexuality of the celebrities mentioned or any personal knowledge about their private lives.
Thanks to all those of you that have taken time to let me know what you think. Your feedback makes my day.
While Alex was admitting to having given his heart away, Nick and Sully were outside. Nick was smoking a crafty cigarette and he had Sully keeping watch. Nick didn't smoke all that often and he was trying to quit completely, but just now he needed one.
"Is sharing with Howie that bad?" Sully asked when he saw Nick's hands shake as he took the first drag on the cancer stick. "I'm sure Alex wouldn't mind if you want to swap, or if you wanted to join us."
Nick could see that Sully was not thinking straight. Sure he and Alex had mended some fences but he was sure that AJ still blamed him a little for Sully's leaving and to be stuck on a bus together would not be a good idea.
"No. Thanks for the offer though." Nick said. "How are you and your bus partner getting on?" It was not the most eloquent of questions, but it got across Nick's point.
"We're doing okay. Talking a lot and getting to know each other again." Sully said. "I think that we'll be friends again." This was added with a smile.
"No more than friends?" Nick pushed.
"Alex wouldn't want more." Sully replied. "and if he did I don't know if I am ready for that again."
"For Alex?" Nick asked.
"For anyone." Sully responded.
"Oh." Nick replied. He had not really thought of it that way. Of course judging by the reaction at the Compound he should have known that something was up but he had not really considered Sully not being ready.
Sully smiled slightly as Nick looked confused and hurt. Even as he had spoken the words the other man had wondered how true they were. In some ways he was still in mourning over Drew, but since he had been back in Orlando and especially since seeing Alex some of the pain had diminished. Maybe he was ready to move on, but like he had said to Nick, Alex wouldn't be interested.
Sully had to wonder though, if Alex offered would he take him up on the deal? Could he turn down the love of his life? Sully was pretty sure that the results would be balanced, one yes and one no. The only remaining question was which answer went with which question, that was the one that Sully was not sure about.
When Sully got back to the bus AJ was already waiting to go. Sully had stopped to buy some chocolate and a few magazines for the journey as well as a paperback in case he got bored. He had some stuff in his luggage but not enough for a whole tour. If there was one thing he knew it was that touring involved a lot of waiting around.
"You okay?" He asked when he saw that AJ was lost in thought.
Alex looked up stunned and then nodded. Sully didn't know where the other man had been but he was pretty sure that it was not on this planet.
"You want to talk about it?" Sully asked as he took a seat near AJ.
Sully was concious of the fact that he should not push the issue unless AJ wanted to talk but he didn't want his friend to start to bottle up his emotions. From the little Sully knew about the situation he thought that this was the reason AJ had turned to alcohol in the first place. He didn't want that to happen again.
"It's nothing." AJ replied. "Just something that Howie said that got me thinking."
"Okay." Sully responded evenly.
He wasn't going to force Alex into making any confessions he was not ready to make or to talk about anything that he did not want to share.
"Nick says that you have DVD players and TV's on these things." Sully indicated the bus as he changed the subject. "You want to show me how that works?"
"Sure." AJ said. "You want to watch a movie?"
"What do you have?" Sully asked interested now. He had not really thought of it but watching a film sounded like a good way to spend some time together and it was obvious that AJ was not really in a chatty mood. At least not anymore. Maybe a movie would break the ice again.
AJ smiled widely as he looked into the cupboard and pulled out one DVD that had drawn his attention.
"I have just the thing." AJ answered happily.
Sully wondered what it was.
An hour later and they were watching Christian Slater and on screen girlfriend Winona Ryder kill the most popular girl in school. Sully had smiled when he had realised what they were watching. Alex had been there throughout the Christian Slater years as he thought of them now. It amazed Sully how much of the cheesy dialogue he still remembered.
AJ laughed at something on screen and Sully turned to him. Speaking for the first time since they had begun the movie.
"I thought that you hated Christian Slater." Sully prompted. "You always used to complain about watching these movies when I insisted on renting them."
"They grow on you." AJ replied with a shrug.
"Yeah, but why did you watch them if you hated them so much in the first place?" Sully asked suspiciously.
"You liked them." AJ responded, his whole attention still on the screen in front of him.
"So?" Sully asked, not getting the reference that Alex was trying to make.
AJ turned away from the screen and faced Sully, making sure that he had made eye contact before he spoke.
"So, I liked you." Alex responded.
"Oh." Sully replied. He was at a loss for words because when AJ said 'like' it was clear that he meant as more than a friend.
The rest of the film was watched in silence, no one wanting to comment on what had occurred. They had mentioned the past that they had been trying to avoid and it made them uncomfortable that they may have to deal with it. Neither of them had yet realised that the inevitable was already in line for them. It was only a matter of time before they discovered the truth. They were destined to be together, and everyone but them could see it.
By the time they reached the hotel that evening everyone was tired. Sully had no idea where he was or what their schedule was but he was certain that he wanted to sleep for a week. They climbed down off the bus and went in via the service elevator to their private floor.
Sully was too tired to take in all of the surroundings but he knew that it was more plush than the last time he had been with the band. He did not want to think about that though as the last time he had been in a hotel with these boys it had ended in disaster.
Nick was the only one of the boys that seemed happy. He had been talking into his cell phone as he disembarked from the coach and Sully wondered what it was that had the boy smiling so much. Anyone would think that he was talking to a girlfriend or something from the size of his grin. Sully was too tired to think about that so instead he chose not to think and to just go to his room.
He was just getting things set up and unpacking a few of his things when there was a knock on his door.
"Yep." Sully called out, expecting whoever it was to come in. The door was unlocked after all. When no one did he went to the door.
"Hi." A somewhat sheepish Brian said as he stood outside the door.
He looked like a contrite schoolboy and if he had not already loved Alex, Sully was sure that he could have developed a crush on the wholesome Backstreet Boy. Sully could see that whatever it was that Brian had to say he was very nervous so he opened the door wider and beckoned Brian inside.
"I wanted to apologise for Kevin." Brian said as he stared anywhere but at Sully. "He can be a little overprotective at times but he sees us all as his little brothers."
"And this couldn't have come from him?" Sully asked. He knew that it was not Brian's fault as to how Kevin had behaved but he wanted to ask why it was that they had blown up at him.
"Kevin doesn't apologise. He'll admit he's wrong but he'll never say that he is sorry. He just buys presents or something." Brian said. "He does like you, he's just worried about Alex."
"I am too." Sully added vehemently. "I want to be there for him and help him as much as I can now that I have the chance."
"Why didn't you come back?" Brian asked carefully. Sully sighed.
"It was part of a contract I had with Lou Pearlman." Sully replied and then went on to outline what it had said.
By the end of it he could see that the good Southern boy was ready to go out and string someone up for what he had been forced to sign. There was a look of pure anger in Brian's eyes as if he needed to seek revenge.
"I'm sorry." Brian added as he turned to leave. "I need to tell Kevin this. He'll want to know about it."
"Why would he care?" Sully asked. "Unless he wants to use it to get rid of me." Sully was still a little bitter about what Kevin had said earlier.
"There is some issues of the lawsuit that were never cleared up. This might affect the case against Lou." Brian said. "Would you let Kevin see the documents, maybe get a lawyer to look at them?"
Sully shrugged, he had not really thought much about it although Joey and Nick had both mentioned it back in NY. Sully had been glad that he could go home and had never really thought much beyond the fact that the contract was null and void. That had seemed like the most important thing.
"I guess."
"He'll come around." Brian said, referring to Kevin. "It's good to have you with us."
This was clearly a goodbye as after a moment the blonde was out of the door and on his way to Kevin's suite, acting more like Nick than Brian. Still, Sully wasn't sure that he knew any of them very well. He went back to his unpacking instead and waited to see what else would happen. When nothing did he guessed that it was alright to sleep. For now at least everything was settled.
Alex had tried to sleep, but his head was buzzing with thoughts about the tour and the man that slept just along the corridor from him. There was no way that he would get to sleep like this.
As he flipped through the endless infomercials of late night television Alex began to feel edgy and tense and wondered what he was doing. It felt strange. At moments when he was like this before he would have gone out to burn off a little energy, hit a club and maybe score some downers so that he could get some sleep. The problem was that this was no longer an option and trying to sleep seemed an alien concept now.
It had been so long since he had just slept straight through or gone through a usual routine that AJ felt lost. He wasn't quite sure what he was doing.
He lay on the sofa just thinking for a moment, that was a mistake though, because as they often did his thoughts turned to Sully. The other man was close now, just down the corridor, but the last time that he had been in this position and thought that Sully was down the corridor he had woken to find him gone.
Now AJ was worried that his friend would realise that he had made a mistake and would leave. The insecurity had taken him half way down the hall before he realised where he was.
Alex let out a sigh and stared at the closed door to Sully's room as he wondered if he should knock or just go back to his own room. He rose his fist a few times and stopped just short of knocking before finally giving three sound and solid raps on the reinforced door.
A moment later a dishevelled Sully came to the door in boxers and a rumpled T-shirt that looked as if it had spent part of the night on the floor.
"Alex." Sully said as he tried to clear his sleep addled mind and pay attention, checking his friend for possible injury or pain. "Are you okay?"
"I'm sorry..." AJ began, not sure why he was doing this now that he was there. "You're sleeping, I'll come back later."
Sully rubbed a hand over his face and then rubbed the back of his neck with it. Alex noticed it as a move that Sully had always used when he was thinking of what to say. It was also a sign that his friend was either nervous or frustrated.
"I'm awake now." Sully reasoned as he opened the door a little wider. "You might as well come in."
"I'm sorry..." Alex began as he backed up slightly.
A hand reached out and pulled him inside before he could stop it and then Sully shut the door, effectively locking the pair of them into his room. Sully turned on the main light to the room and blinked a few times as his eyes adjusted, then he gestured for Alex to go through to the sofa that he had in the room. He supposed that it was safer than the bed.
"Now, without apologising again, do you want to tell me what's up?" Sully asked seriously.
AJ took an interest in the carpet at his feet as he mumbled out his answer.
"I wanted to check that you were still here." AJ replied softly.
It took Sully a moment to realise what Alex meant, but when he did he felt instantly guilty that he had not thought to make some kind of promise or commitment to his friend. He should have known that Alex would be insecure about this sort of thing and could have kicked himself for not having noticed it before.
"I'm not going anywhere." Sully said seriously. "At least not until the end of the tour."
"You'll stay?" AJ asked, seeming to need the reassurance. He was less like the self assured AJ McLean that Sully remembered and more like the unsure youth he remembered from school. It was endearing but most of all it made Sully want to look after Alex until the tough AJ was back.
"For the whole tour. You have my word." Sully said.
Alex finally looked up and meeting Sully's eyes he studied them before nodding.
"I'm sorry I woke you up." AJ said, realising how late it was.
"Couldn't sleep?" Sully asked, he could see that AJ was still dressed and that he had not slept in the clothes. They were too neat for that.
AJ shook his head in response.
"You want to stay here?" Sully asked.
AJ tensed.
"Nothing untoward." Sully continued amiably. "I'm just offering a place to stay, maybe a warm body to cuddle with. I know how you used to hate to sleep alone and its been a while for me too."
"I still hate to sleep by myself." AJ admitted.
"Still sleep on the left?" Sully asked with a smile.
AJ matched it softly and pulled off his shirt in reply as he headed to the left side of the bed.
As Sully made his way to the light switch to turn off the main light he realised that he was going to be in bed with the man of his dreams. He took a few deep breaths and tried to calm himself before he headed back, not having any idea that at the side of the bed AJ was doing exactly the same.
All the two boys knew was that this was going to be both heaven and hell for them and it was going to be a very long night.
Despite the fact that they were sharing a bed together both Alex and Sully got a good night's sleep. They were both tired and worn out from the travel and in Sully's arms Alex had managed to work out the anxiety and hyperactivity of his thoughts from the night before and had settled into a peaceful sleep. It was almost a shame that they had to wake up and return to the real world.
Sully was the first to wake. He took a moment to reorient himself with his surroundings. It was certainly a shock to wake for the first time in months with the warmth of another person in his bed, especially when he realised that the person was Alex. To his credit Sully did not react as he had thought he might of done and did not jump out of bed. Instead he waited for his breathing to settle back to normal and then just lay with his friend in his arms, enjoying the memory that he was taking of how it felt to have Alex nestled with him in his bed.
Alex woke about fifteen minutes later, he knew that he was not alone when he saw the third arm that was wrapped around his chest. He knew that it was unlikely that he had grown a third arm in the night and he had not been drinking so he had a bed partner. It took him the moment that you switch from sleep to wakefulness to realise that he was in bed with Sully.
When there was no resistance as he shifted slightly away from the arm he realised that not only was he not alone but that his bed partner was awake. Suddenly he was filled with the morning after fear of not knowing what to do or say after the night before.
Sully felt Alex tense in his arms and wondered if this was because his friend regretted staying in his room the previous night. Sully didn't care if Alex was worried, as long as it did not affect their friendship or Alex's recovery. In fact, Alex's recovery was the most important thing, everything else could wait.
Sully decided that it was up to him to make the first move.
"Good morning." Sully said with a slight yawn as he sat up and slid to his side of the bed.
Alex took the oppurtunity to pull away too.
"I should go," were the first words out of Alex's mouth.
It was obvious to Sully that he was definitely worried about that morning but Sully was not sure if it was concern or regret that the other man felt.
"I have to go and get dressed and ready for breakfast." Alex continued as he searched for an excuse. Sully nodded easily and watched his friend grab the rest of his clothes and retreat.
"I'll see you at breakfast." Sully said with a slight smile as Alex turned to leave. "Oh, and Alex." He called as his friend was ready to leave.
"Yeah?" AJ asked uncertainly as he turned to hear what it was that Sully had to say, hoping that it was not about the previous night.
"If you want to you can stay again tonight." Sully said.
AJ did not reply but it was good to know that he was still welcome in Sully's life as well as in his bed. The other man was trying hard to be his friend and AJ knew that he should be doing the same. That didn't mean lusting after his friend but being there if he needed him. It would certainly make it more like their old friendship if he was able to return the favour.
To be continued soon...