Reid continued to go up and come back down over the next few days. I attended classes religiously but even when I was there, I wasn't all there. I knew how important it was for me to excel and I did my best to apply myself, but inevitably my thoughts wandered to Reid any time I wasn't with him. I forced myself to do my homework and the reading assigned any time I had a spare moment. This kept me from falling behind but I wasn't excelling.
We began sleeping nude together on Wednesday. We even made out in what I can only describe as the most seriously delicious few moments of my entire adolescent life. In the middle of getting all worked up, Reid got up out of bed and went down to the kitchen. I lay there trying to get control over emotions I had no experience with. It wasn't easy for either of us. I wanted him so bad.
Each time I got close to him, I pushed to step up our sexual activities. It was only after he became aroused and engaged that the hesitation came into play. His sexual transmission would shift into neutral, while I tried what little I knew to keep him moving in my direction. Once he got up I lay cursing myself for trying to get him to go where I knew he wasn't ready to travel. It was selfish and wrong, but I didn't know how to stop. I couldn't be with him and not want him.
We ended up in the kitchen, him with his back against the counter as he drank a beer and I sat at the table fantasizing about what I wanted to do to that lovely body.
"I'm sorry," I said Thursday afternoon, after we repeated the same process for the second or third time in two days. "I can't help it. Don't be mad."
"It's not your fault. It'll happen. It's just not time yet. Quit looking for someone to blame."
"Yeah, it is my fault. I want you so bad, Reid. I can't stop myself. I know you aren't in the mood. I know you need time, but I feel like if I don't finally have a complete sex act soon, I'm likely to die a virgin."
"It shouldn't be an act. It needs to be with two fully functioning adults, who are committed to one another before it means what you want it to mean," he said in all seriousness. "We've only got one fully functioning adult on our hands at the moment and I'm sorry I can't get where you are right now. It's nobodies fault."
"I'll live," I said. "Teach me all you know, when you're ready. I'm ready to learn. Does that beer help?"
"I like the taste. I was a drunk before I was a pervert."
"You were a drunk?"
"Oh yeah. We've got cases of liquor down stairs; wine; beer. I've drank it all."
"Wow."
"I have a beer now and then, because I like the taste. One's enough."
"Most people don't get control of their bad habits."
"I wish I could be where you are. I'm cheating you out of one of the most beautiful experiences you'll ever have. I need to be totally yours at that moment, Dane. You'll never forget the first time you make love or with whom you make love."
"It will be you on both counts. Any time and any place you say, stud boy. You take your time and I'll be waiting for you, when you're ready. I'll keep wearing your underwear on my head and jacking off until then."
"Well that's a pretty image," he said, smiling at my open confession.
"The truth hurts."
"You're opening up, you know. You're almost a different boy from the one I met. You'd never have said anything like that when I first met you."
"No, but I'd have been thinking it. It took you to get me to say it out loud."
"Sounds odd coming from you. You're so... so... innocent. Wearing my underwear on your head and jacking off sounds so not innocent."
"You don't like guys who want your underwear, huh?" I pried, seeing an opening I had been waiting to take.
"What do you want me to say? I'm not going to feel bad about myself because I'm having trouble making love to you. I think even Rand would say to give it a little time before I jump back into the deep end of life. I keep thinking I'm ready and then it dies on me. It doesn't have anything to do with you, Dane."
"I understand that, but I need to relieve the stress. It's not healthy to go too, long without using it, you know. Might fall off or something."
"And where do you pick up these little tidbits of wisdom?"
"Around. I don't know. People say stuff. That's one thing they say. Use it or lose it."
Reid laughed, as he toyed with his low hanging tan balls.
"You know how good looking you are?" I said, watching his hand.
"Give me a break. I won't look so good in twenty years," he reminded me.
"Yeah, but it isn't in twenty years. It's right now and you're beautiful. We'll deal with in twenty years in twenty years. I'm not worried. You are the one that should be worried."
"Easy for you to say. Was a time I never figured I'd live to be twenty."
"Glad you hung around. I would hate hanging out in your mother's house without you being here."
"What's with the underwear deal, Dane. You bring up my underwear on a regular basis. You seem to have something on your mind. What aren't you telling me?"
"Yeah, maybe. Tell me why you kept going to Magruder Park even after you and Rand were lovers. Maybe that'll remind me."
"Why do we keep going back there? It seems to be a theme we revisit. I've told you the main stuff. You'll learn everything in time."
"Yeah, you have, but it seems like there is more to it."
"There's a certain thrill for me that comes with that place. Much of my early sex life was played out there. Being there also reminds me how cheap I was and how often I was cheap. You're looking for something specific. Tell me what you want and I'll do my best to give it to you."
"The first time I saw you, I followed you back on the path. I wanted to meet you. You met a guy. He bought your underwear right off your body."
"You still wanted to know a guy that gets a cheap thrill from guys who want to eat the crotch out of his under shorts?"
"It was exciting. I must admit my view came from the rear and I couldn't hear what was being said, but seeing you there half naked, that was the high point of my life."
"You haven't seen many guys half naked?" Reid asked.
"Not that I could look at. Then, I saw you with those guys at the pool. You were so easy to look at. You guys were so comfortable together."
"My eye candy company," Reid said. "I don't know why they hang with me."
"What's that," I asked.
"Pretty boys it's good to be seen with. They're okay. They aren't sure what they want. Amos doesn't care as long as he has somewhere to put it. He's at that age. He comes from a strict family and college life is freedom for him."
"How do you decide to sell someone your underwear?"
"I don't know. It happens. Someone asks you if they can blow you. You say no thank you and they say, can I buy your shorts? But I want to see them first. It's a game. We all get a thrill from it."
"What do they get out of it?" I asked.
"What do you get out of it?"
"Me? I know you. I want to be close to you. I can feel you, smell you, and my... I'm right next to where you are, when you're wearing them. It excites me."
"I'm sorry," Reid said.
"Quit it. I'm nineteen. You're twenty. We've got time. You'll get over him."
"So, this just came to you? Wanting to get into my underwear?" he quizzed. "You've never had this urge to anyone else's underwear until mine?"
I sat silent for a second but my mind immediately went to the locker room behind the gym at my high school. There was a guy that had the locker next to mine and he knew I was curious about his body. He knew I watched him dress and undress and sometimes he put on a show for me. I had never considered telling anyone about my more serious perversions.
"Michael Palmer," I mused loud enough for him to hear.
"Ah, and from where in your life do we find Mr. Palmer?"
"My high school. Gym class. He was tall, dark, and handsome. He was a quiet kid, even mysterious. When we finished gym class, we had lockers right next to each other. He knew I watched him. I don't know what it was. He was fascinating and non-threatening. He didn't seem to mind I checked him out every day."
"What did you do about it?"
"He took off his shorts first, every time. He'd pull them off wit his ass an inch from my face. He'd bend over and pull them off over his shoes. He had hair and it thinned out near the brown hole, you know. He'd sit in his jock and make a production of taking off his shoes and sock. A slow production."
"He'd sit there in his jock strap next to you?"
"Yes, he would. Some times, when we were really jammed in there together at the same time, he'd let it out of the pouch for me to see. It was dark and the skin covered the head. It created a fold of skin that hung down from the tip and one day he looked at me as I was watching him undressing and when he finished with his shorts, he turned around and flipped that sucker out. There were guys pushing against me on one side and guys pushing against him on the other, because we'd all hit the locker room at the same moment that day, and he let it almost slap me in the face as I sat staring at it.
"It's the first time I saw it more than half hard. The head forced the skin back behind it and it had turned a passionate purple color. I could feel the heat coming off it as he stood there, looking like he wanted me to take it in my mouth. All I could do was stare at it and memorize each detail. He kicked off his shoes once guys started clearing out and then he took off his socks, letting it come up into my face with each sock. He'd hesitate like he needed me to touch it.
"Once he was naked and our row was almost empty, he had to wait for it to go down before he could go shower. We both watched its progress in silence. He stood right next to me with his back to anyone on that side, and I blocked any view of it with my back. Even with no one else in our row and with plenty of room to spread out, we stayed right together. He could have sat down and put his shorts over it, but he didn't. He just stood next to me, waiting."
"All right. What did you do? You must have wanted to touch it. How could you not with an invitation like that? He liked you."
"Yeah, I wanted to, but I blushed instead. I was mortified that he would do such a thing in public. There were thirty guys in our row of lockers but none of them paid any attention to what we were up to. What if one of them had seen what he was doing? It was risky business, being there like that."
"Did they see anything?"
"I don't know. I never saw anything but Palmer's hard on. Then, it went down and he hit the showers. That was the most intense day ever."
"You think he wanted a date with you?" Reid asked, chuckling at my embarrassment.
"No. We were fifteen. Boys don't date each other in high school."
"Date! A get together so you can... you know... fool around, get acquainted? Why else would he stick his hard on in your face and wait for you to grab it? The boy was coming on to you. He wanted you to go for it."
"You think Michael Palmer wanted to... with me? Why would he think I'd do such a thing? No one knew I was gay."
"Uh huh. I think that's what he wanted. I think he knew you wanted to do such a thing and it was just the thing he wanted to get done, and he probably thought about it while he was doing himself every night."
"Nah, he had a girlfriend."
"That doesn't mean a thing."
"He wasn't very good at sports, come to think of it, and he was kind of shy, awkward in gym. He wasn't like the other guys."
"Yeah, none of them shoved their hard dicks in your face to get it licked."
"Cut it out," I said. "He was different in a way now that I think about it. He wore bright colored clothes, too."
Reid got hysterical and spit the beer he had just drank onto the floor, after struggling to contain it for long enough to have it coming out of his nose. He turned his back and kept on laughing as I checked out his tight waist and how nicely dimpled his ass was, as he leaned on his forearms and shook from being tickled by my naïve observations.
"What's so funny? He had a girlfriend, so he wasn't gay, but he didn't act like most of the guys. He seemed nicer. Could he have been gay?"
"You're funny," he said with a grin, wiping off his chin as he faced me again. "I'd use my underwear to wipe that up, but I'd be afraid you'd want to put it on afterward."
"Cut it out," I protested. "You got nothing to worry about. I'd let the beer dry first."
Reid laughed again and put the dishtowel under his foot to mop up the beer.
"That's it? You let your first romantic encounter with a dick get away from you without a fight?"
"No, I sat there until he went into the shower, which took five minutes because his dick was so hard, and then, I stole his jock strap. I shoved it in my gym bag and I got dressed and left."
"And you did what with his jock strap?"
"That jock strap gave me the most intense hours of pleasure my young life had known until I met you," I confessed. "I've still got his jock and visions of Michael Palmer sticking out of it."
"That was it. He never put on another performance on your behalf?" Reid inquired. "He wasn't very persistent if he wanted to get your attention."
"There was the time he jacked off in front of me."
"I thought you never went out with him?"
"He waited to go into the shower one day, as I sat watching him as usual. When I followed him into the shower a minute later, he was all soaped up. Soap was running down his back and into the crack of his ass. He turned around and his dick was coated in soap and standing at attention again. We were the last two boys and he proceeded to use the soap to facilitate his handiwork."
"All right Mike," Reid shouted. "You didn't assist him? Come on. It was perfect."
"No, but I was thinking about it and the thought had me feeling faint. His hand was becoming a blur as we watched him picking up a full head of steam. His back got hunched over and his knees were seriously bending as he pinched his eyes shut and pumped away. You could hear his hand making a slapping sound as he pounded it. He had to be on the verge."
"And you were?"
"Mesmerized. I'd never seen anything like it."
"Did he cum?"
"He was practically there and Mr. Morse came to the shower door and yelled for us to get a move on it."
"He didn't see?"
"No, Mike was smart enough to have his back to the opening. He about had a coronary though. He rinsed off the soap and his dick was already soft. He raced to his locker and dressed without even drying off. When I got there he was ready to leave. He was holding his books up to his chest and he stopped and looked at me sit down and then he turned and left. That was as good as it got."
"He liked you," Reid said.
"I figured he was just horny and he already knew I'd seen it in all its glory. That's why he didn't care I was watching him. Don't some guys like you watching them? I think he was one of them."
"Michael was performing for his boyfriend, Dane."
"Cut it out. I told you, he had a girlfriend. He was straight. He liked being watched is all."
"Have it your way, but appearances are everything," Reid said. "Rand was married. He still liked cock."
"What's that mean? If he was married than he was straight."
"Appearances are everything, but little is what it seems on the surface. Anyone that likes stuff that isn't acceptable isn't going to make it public if he's smart."
"He wasn't gay. He never did anything gay."
"There are guys that are in-between. Guys who like both. You like what you like. He liked you. He had a girlfriend. You figure it out."
"Bi-sexual?"
"Maybe. Maybe just sexual. Maybe guys who don't listen to what people say? Maybe they want to find out for themselves what's good for them. Michael Palmer may well have been a Renaissance Man, dancing to his own tune and you obviously weren't listening to the music."
"I was fifteen. What did I know anyway?"
"You knew that jock strap was the doorway to pleasure and at fifteen I had already sucked a mile of cock, although I didn't remember many, being a drunk and all."
"It wasn't on my mind at the time. That was forbidden fruit and I was afraid of going to hell or worse."
"You never stole another jock?"
"What, you think I'm a pervert and a thief? Besides, I was afraid I'd get caught. There were a couple of guys who had jocks I'd have given my left nut to try out."
"Well, I worked out with guys who wore only jocks and I can appreciate how attractive a jock becomes, when it's on the right genitalia."
"I've heard part of that story, I think," I said, remembering jock strapped weight lifters.
"Maybe. Maybe not. Did you ever ask him what he wanted."
"No!"
"Why not?" Reid inquired.
"I didn't want him thinking I was queer."
"Good God, Dane! I hate to break it to you. You are queer."
"I mean I didn't want him thinking I wanted to do something with him," I explained.
"You did want to do something. You just didn't do anything and by not asking him what he wanted, he got to not do anything with you. Good thing you weren't in my gym class. I'd have had you sucking half the guys there."
"I wouldn't have been ready for that or you, and what you're telling me is, you can relate to someone wanting your shorts and you don't object?"
"We're changing the subject?"
"You changed the subject way back. I'm still working on you selling your shorts."
"I get a thrill out of it. I undress in public and someone pays me to have my underwear to do heaven knows what with. It's a powerful feeling. I'd bet some of those dudes are lawyers or teachers and all they're interested in is eating some guys shorts. That's interesting if you think about it. People are interesting."
"Well, I don't think about it," I objected.
"And Michael Palmer never suspected you were the one that took his jock?"
"Sure he did. He knew I took it. He would put his new jock down on the bench next to my hand and he'd strut off toward the showers. I never touched them again. Besides, you only need one jock from a guy to get you to the place where they take you. When I used his jock, I had perfect recall of every move he ever made while next to me in that locker room."
"I like someone who is creative. You should have paid him. It was obvious you'd have paid for the thrill you got out of that jock."
"You make it sound like prostitution."
"Yeah, well, people got what you want, you should be willing to pay for it."
"You don't need money," I said.
"Don't get your concepts confused. It has nothing to do with money. It has to do with value given, value received. You pay a fair price for something you want. If you just give it away it gives the power away. They won't like them as much if you simply hand them over. It ruins the entire fantasy."
"Fantasy?"
"Uh huh."
"Still sounds bad to pay for it."
"Bad for who?"
"You aren't supposed to buy it, Reid."
"Who says?"
"I don't know. People say. I hear it all the time. Besides, prostitution is illegal."
"You have led a sheltered life," Reid advised me. "Everyone pays for it. Some people pay for it directly, while others pay indirectly. They call it dinner and a movie. The cost also includes being polite and charming if you expect an honest return for your investment."
"You're confusing. What I know is, once I have it I'm going to want a lot of it. I certainly have enough by myself but I'm beginning to think I'm not my type and I never pay myself for it."
"Nothing wrong with enjoying your own company."
"Yeah, it can become a habit. Like watching Michael Palmer."
"For some guys one jock is enough and other guys might need a drawer full. Who is the best judge of what they need?"
"You're trying to embarrass me because you know that your underwear excites me."
"I never mentioned your fondness for my underwear. Knowing what you like allows me to help you get to where you want to go. Knowing about Michael Palmer allows me to embarrass you."
"I've never talked to anyone about this stuff," I admitted.
"I can tell you what I think, feel, and know, but I can't tell you what you think, feel, and know. Only you can tell me that."
"Martha knows everything about you, doesn't she?"
"Most of it. Once I knew I could trust her not to blab to my mother, I pretty much came clean. She was horrified and she dragged me down to get blood tests more than once, but she never tried to make me feel dirty or evil. Martha believes that the path to right and righteousness is through unconditional love. She doesn't believe she should judge anyone."
"She's great," I said. "She judges your mother pretty harshly."
"No, she knows my mother and merely accepts her the way she is, flaws and all."
"Didn't sound that way to me. You're lucky to have had her in your life."
"Yeah, her and Rand kept me alive. I'd have killed myself by now."
"Want to turn on the hot tub?" I asked.
"Actually, I was thinking about an afternoon nap. All this conversation has worn me out."
"Really," I said, jumping up and knocking over the chair. "Me, too."
"Don't get, too, excited. Save your energy for what really counts."
"I've got plenty of energy for that."
"I'm talking about a nap," he said with a serious tone.
"I heard what you said," I said, thinking we were about to embark on uncharted territory.
The thing about uncharted territory is its unchartedness. I followed him through the house and up the staircase, watching the sinew in his ass flex with each step he took. Reid had less hair on him then I had and it showed off the cut of his body without obstruction. As we walked I had visions of multiple orgasms and soaring erections that we would ride amongst the stars as we came upon waves of pleasure, while cradled in one another's arms.
I got into bed first as he stood watching. His long lean stature, a vision of perfection to me, showed no sign of excitement in the limb of love that stayed so casually nestled in his curly rich hair. I was going to change all that and at the same time I would take him away from his sorrow. I couldn't hide my intentions, which he viewed with some interest as my wanton wand waved about as I made myself ready for the magic moment.
I lasted for maybe a minute before managing to totally humiliate myself.
"I can't believe it," I said, disconsolate.
"It's nothing to worry about," he encouraged me.
"Nothing to worry about. I've been waiting for that moment for weeks."
"You built yourself an impossible dream. Sex is a part of a relationship. It's not an end to and of itself."
"I can't believe it," I repeated, unable to believe it.
"It's called premature ejaculation. You were, too, excited and that's what happens. You'll have better control the next time."
"That's embarrassing. They even have a name for it? I'm a premature ejaculator. I'm sure you can get jail time for anything that sounds that sinister. I can't believe it. I wanted to make you happy."
"Uh huh."
"What a dope. I can't even do sex right. I finally have a chance to experience it with the man of my dreams, and wham, it's all over before it starts. A premature ejaculator. Why would they even want to name it?"
"You built it into something that was bound to fail. We'll try again and you'll be fine. It's not the end of the world."
"Easy for you to say. You didn't even get a good erection."
"You start slow and appreciate your partners body. You lick and touch and caress. You work up to a higher stage of excitement. You can make it last or get right to the main event. You aren't born knowing these things. You can't know until you've been there. If you talk and find out what your partner enjoys most and least, that way you know what moves to make. You'll have forgotten this in a few days."
"It just went off. I can't believe it."
"You were excited. That's what happens."
"I was with you," I said. "How can I not be excited?"
"Yes, you were, and it was quite flattering."
"Flattering?"
"No one has ever been that hot over me. It's a compliment. You couldn't hide how much being with me meant to you. It's a compliment."
"I couldn't? It is"
"Yes."
"No, it isn't. I can't even get sex right," I regretted.
"Cut it out. You said we have a lifetime. Okay, first round you came out way, too, fast and didn't pace yourself. Next time you'll know better. We'll be careful not to let you get exceptionally excited beforehand."
"We will?" I asked, feeling a bit better as my hand moved across his chest and stomach.
"Definitely."
"How long will we have to wait?"
"By the looks of things, not long," he said.
"I can't help it. I don't even have to touch you. Just watching you move gets me hot," I confessed. "I think about you in class and I get hot."
"You're something else."
"Yeah," I said slipping my hand down into his pubes, feeling an immediate reaction to my touch. "Mr. Premature Ejaculator. Sounds like a part Arnold could play. Beware the Premature Ejaculator. He'll sperm you."
He laughed and I became captivated by his body.
He leaned and kissed me, moving his chest over me, blending his flesh against mine. As we kissed his excitement slithered along my thigh and pressed hard into my skin. The heat started to rise once again, and I knew to pace myself this time, but with his tender kisses, I found it difficult to keep the to do list straight in my brain.
I grabbed him around his neck and sucked his tongue hard as he let his weight down on top of me, while my hands moved over his back and ass and he became fully charged with lust as our tongues tangoed together.
I couldn't breath and my heart raced so fast it felt like it might burst. It pounded in my ears and my entire being became super sensitized to Reid's every movement. In one long slow motion he moved his dick up across mine, and his tongue took me beyond the beyond and into a sphere where I'd never been.
It all took two minutes.
"I don't believe it," I yelled at the ceiling.
"Stop it," Reid ordered. "You did fine."
"Right! I can't believe it. When I jerk off, it takes like forever. I mean an hour a night is the fast nights. Some nights I hardly get any sleep at all. I can't believe this. I can't even have sex right."
"Give me your hand," Reid calmly said.
Sliding my hand around his dick, he squeezed his hand on top of mine, showing me how to pump him back to full measure. His flesh was super heated and soft as silk and yet his dick became unyielding in my fist. He guided me through the motion that most pleased him, having me use my second hand on his ass, letting me explore the passage he kept hidden there.
Once I got two fingers inside the snug channel, his hips moved to the motion in my hand. He swelled beyond what I'd seen him do on his own, while riding a wave I couldn't see. His head lolled in a most sensual way as his face showed every sign of pleasure that I felt inside my own crotch. His hips charged at my hand as my fingers slipped in and out of his tight confines. His soft gasps blew on my face as the muscles in his chest and arms bulged for me as he humped the hand of love that only then could grasp what it was doing to him.
A loud delicious sound escaped his lips as his head rolled back and his hips made one last desperate thrust before he spermed me, big time. It hit my face, under my chin, and squirted along my chest as he road my handy hands. For his final discharge he forced his ass back until my fingers were fully inside, and a long lazy jet of thick white liquid leaped into the air, arching toward my face as he collapsed in my hands with a grown.
Reid panted and kept his eyes clamped shut. I watched his chest heave and didn't dare move for fear it would end our coupling. My own heart pounded from what I had helped him do. It was nearly as good as if I had come with him.
A smile slowly took over his lips, as he completely relaxed. His face had the blissful look of an angel. I'd never felt the way he made me feel just then. Our entire lives were so intimately woven as one that I could not conceive of ever being separated from him. I dared not speak. I didn't want to disturb his orgasmic response to me.
I had done it.
He opened his eyes and watched me watching him. As he started to speak I couldn't wait to hear what he had to say. I knew it would be perfect for this magic moment. I wanted to remember his first words after our first time.
"Sociology," he said plainly.
"What?" I asked, trying to calculate the meaning of his edict.
"I believe at this moment, you are supposed to be in sociology class."
"I might never go to sociology again," I said. "Can we just stay here like this?"
"Yeah, I could go for that. It would probably get old fast. Besides, I've got to go to the House. I haven't been."
"They'll survive," I said.
"Yeah, but I need to sign for things. There are people I read to. People will be expecting me."
"I want to go with you. Sociology is almost over and I'll never make my psych. class on time."
"Probably not, but I think you might should remove your fingers from my bottom. It's getting a little uncomfortable."
"Oh, I'm sorry. I mean, it was fine for me. It was amazing. You're amazing, Reid. I've never had an experience like that. Do you know how wonderful it felt to watch you get off like that?"
"You see, you know exactly how to get me there. You know all you need to know about sex, and what you don't know, you'll learn."
"Yeah, I do, don't I," I said, smiling back at him. "I did okay."
"Pretty happy with yourself aren't we?"
"Uh huh," I said.
"It comes natural and we'll adjust to one another."
"Uh huh," I said, leaning to kiss him as our chests rubbed and a chill ran through me as I felt his smooth warm skin.
I didn't believed in heaven until that day.
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