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Secrets and Lies
Andrew's Story:
My mother abandoned my father and me when I was four years old. My dad never speaks of it, so I'll never know why she did it. I am twenty-three years old now, and if I don't ask him soon, I may never know what separated them. My dad, Peter, is an athletic, macho, hunky man of forty two. He was only nineteen when I was born. Maybe my parents were just too young to marry and have children.
We are exceptionally close. After all, he had to be father and mother to me. I never grew as tall and muscular as he, but he made me into an athlete with a great body. As soon as I was able to walk, he took me to a small park near our apartment. It had a basketball court, and he taught me how to shoot hoops. When I grew older, we played one on one. He never let me win. He wanted to instill in me a sense of sportsmanship and a desire to come out on top, no matter what I was doing. One day, when I was fifteen, I finally beat him. He almost crushed my ribs hugging me and jumping with joy. In addition to our basketball games, he taught me how to swing a bat and throw a football. My dad took me to the gym with him every time he went, which was often. He made me into a well-rounded athlete like he was. I guess he made me what he wanted me to be, just like him.
He and I share everything. There are no secrets between us, but did you ever have a gut feeling about something without any factual basis? I hate to admit it, but I have just such an irrational feeling that my dad is harboring a secret. If he is, it's a whopper, because he hasn't shared that one with me ... yet. Actually, I'm the one with the big secret. I've been lying to my father and it's killing me, so maybe I'm just transferring my guilt over to him. Perhaps I'm just hoping he has a secret also, and nothing like that actually exists. If it does exist, I won't feel so guilty. I have described how macho my dad is, and how he's a one hundred percent alpha male. Well, I am gay, and I have known this for a long time. If I tell him the truth about me, he will be shattered. Worse yet, it might destroy the close bond we have.
Peter's Story:
I am a single father and I raised Andrew by myself. He has grown into a fine young man. He's a recent college graduate and he landed a great job in a Madison Avenue advertising agency right out of school. I take all the credit for the man he has become. I have made him into a "man's man" whatever that means. We have never held anything back from each other, but for some reason, I always have the feeling that Andrew is about to reveal a deep, dark secret to me, but he never does. I have a secret of my own. It's one I will never reveal to my macho son on pain of death. The reason my wife, Marcia, abandoned us is that I was unable to perform in the bedroom. You see, I am gay.
Marcia seduced me on the night of her high school prom. I never expected that to happen. I was in the closet even then, and I was her prom date. I was ill-prepared for what might happen afterwards. I did not use protection, and she got pregnant. We had a shotgun wedding, and I had to drop out of college. I was fortunate to get a job as a prop man in an upcoming Broadway musical. I worked myself up the ladder, and now I am in great demand as a stage manager. I make a good deal of money, and Andrew and I live very well. He still lives at home, but I have never asked him why, at his age, he hasn't moved out yet. I'm afraid to ask that question, because I don't ever want him to flee the nest. I can't imagine my life without Andrew in it.
Tony's Story:
My name is Tony, not Anthony, not Anton or Antonio, just Tony. I met the love of my life, my soulmate, in my first class on my first day at NYU. The class was Econ. 101 and Andrew sat right next to me. We struck up a small friendship and began to have lunches together. As our friendship grew, we started to socialize in the evenings. I'm not sure, at this point, how it happened, but we came out to each other. Neither of us had told our parents, and we both lived at home, so we had to take a hotel room when we wanted to make love. That was the pits.
After graduation, Andrew continued to live with his father, but I leased an efficiency apartment. I begged him to move in with me until we could afford a real apartment.
He adamantly refused to cohabitate, and he continues to refuse to this day. I beg him constantly to come out, but he tells me that he can't. "It'll kill my father," he insists, and he always concludes by saying, "You don't have a relationship with your father like I have with mine. You just don't understand."
His father is well acquainted with me, but knows me only as Andrew's best friend.
Daniel's Story:
My name is Daniel. Practically everybody calls me "Danny Boy." I hate it, but the more I correct people, the worse it gets, so I have resigned myself to accept the nickname.
These days I own a very successful jewelry shop and boutique on Fifth Avenue, but many years ago I aspired to be an actor. God knows, I'm pretty enough. I went to what seemed like my millionth audition for an upcoming Broadway musical, and that's when I met Peter. He was the stage manager.
I didn't get the part or any other part for that matter. I finally abandoned the acting bug, and I was fortunate to get a job as a retail clerk in an upscale jewelry shop on Fifth Avenue. Mr. Carabini, the owner of the store, liked me. When he retired he sold me the business. He made the terms of the buyout as easy for me as possible.
I may have ended my acting ambitions, but my relationship with Peter was just beginning. On the day of my audition, we recognized that we played for the same team. I'm not sure who asked who, but we agreed to meet at one of our favorite gay bars that evening. There was no question in either of our minds that we would have sex together that night. We were very, very wrong. We made love to each other that night and all the times that followed.
Peter said that he had a straight roommate and we couldn't go to his place. I was still living at home, and Peter sprung for a hotel room. Over time, we grew too close for us to lie to each other. Peter admitted that his roommate was his young son. Andrew was about eleven at the time. Peter told me that he had to stay in the closet until his son was adult enough to understand. I accepted that.
Andrew grew up, and I began to beg Peter to come out to him so we could live together. Every time we separated, both our hearts were broken. To this day, nothing I say or do will change Peter's mind. "Andrew's a macho jock," he tells me. "It might destroy our relationship."
One day, after I begged him once again, he grew viciously adamant. "You don't have a son, so you don't understand." Peter spat this out with such venom in his voice that I had to retreat, and he ran home glaring at me.
Peter's right. I don't understand, but what am I to do? As much as I love him, I am not willing to accept the unsatisfactory relationship that we have. I know it's a great risk, but because Peter puts our relationship second to outing himself to his adult son, I swear to out Peter to Andrew myself. Knowing how much they love each other, I don't think Andrew will care.
Right now, Peter is out of town. The musical he is currently working on is previewing in New Haven, Connecticut. Andrew knows me as his father's best friend and hangout buddy, so it's natural for me to knock on Andrew's door and pay him a visit.
Daniel couldn't know, of course, but that evening Tony threatened to leave Andrew if he didn't come out and tell his dad how much they loved each other. Still insisting that he couldn't do that, Andrew ran home, where he consumed one can of beer after another. When he answered the door for Daniel he was quite drunk.
"Daniel," Peter said, "It's great to see you, but my dad's out of town."
"I know," Daniel said. "I came to see you. We need to talk."
Andrew took Daniel's hand and led him to the sofa. "Wanna beer?" he slurred.
"No thanks."
Daniel had no idea how to begin so he sat silently for a while, and Andrew began to giggle. "What?" Daniel asked.
"You're my father's secret, aren't you? How could I have been so blind?"
Daniel sighed with relief. He didn't have to confess anything. Andrew had figured it out. "How do you feel about it?" Daniel asked.
"I'm so happy for both of you. Now I can tell my dad about Tony, and make love to him without having to wait for stolen moments."
"What are you saying?" Daniel looked perplexed.
"I'm saying that I'm as gay as you and my dad, and I don't have to hide it anymore."
Suddenly Andrew pounced on Daniel. He grabbed his cock and started to massage it. Daniel opened his mouth to stop him, but Andrew began to kiss him, and Daniel couldn't talk. Andrew stopped rubbing Daniel's cock and started to undress him. Daniel wanted him to stop, but he was getting hornier and hornier, and was unable to end it.
Finally, Daniel was able to spit out, "Andrew, please stop. You're drunk."
"I'm not that drunk. Does my father love you?"
"He says he does."
"Then you're going to be my stepdad so let's make love." He undid Daniel's fly and freed his cock. Immediately, he was sucking Daniel to glory. Daniel could not resist any longer.
"Let's go to the bedroom," he begged Andrew. "We'll be more comfortable."
Daniel stayed the night, and the two men made passionate love. Daniel came twice and Andrew reached Nirvana three times. They gave each other trips around the world; they rimmed, sucked and fucked, and told each other how much they loved each other.
Finally, they lay side by side holding hands. "Your father must never know of this," Daniel said. "I love him so much."
"Now that I know my dad's secret, this will be our secret. I only seduced you to show you how much I approve of your relationship with my dad. I also needed to let you know that I love you for making my father so happy. I'll come out to him when he gets home. I don't want to distract him from his work." Daniel nodded in agreement. He left early in the morning. He needed to go home to shower and change clothes for work.
As soon as Daniel left, Andrew called Tony. He woke him up. "Can you take a sick day?" he asked. "My dad's away and we have the whole apartment to ourselves. Also, I have terrific news for you. You're going to get your wish."
"Tell me, tell me," Tony begged.
"No, it's a surprise. Can you take the day off or not?"
"You betcha."
As soon as he hung up, Andrew called his office. It was too early for the switchboard to be open, so he left a message on the answering machine, explaining that he needed to take a sick day.
The musical's previews ended in New Haven on Saturday night. It would begin to preview in Boston the following Thursday evening. Peter took the earliest train home the next morning. Since it was still very early Sunday morning when he reached his apartment, he thought that Andrew might still be asleep. He let himself in as quietly as possible. Suddenly three voices yelled, "Surprise."
When he got his wits back he saw Tony, Daniel and Andrew sitting on the sofa. They were all appropriately dressed. Daniel and Andrew didn't want Peter to have a glimmer of suspicion about their encounter. Tony was fully aware of it, because Andrew told him, and swore him to secrecy.
"What's going on?" Peter asked.
Andrew jumped up, threw his arms around his father and began to kiss him. Peter knew right away that this was not a kiss a macho male gives his equally macho father. This was more like the kiss two lovers give each other.
Andrew hadn't called Peter `daddy' since he was seven years old. "Daddy," he cried, "why were you so afraid to tell me. I knew you had a secret. Every bone in my body told me so. I just didn't know what it was."
Peter looked accusingly at Daniel, "You told him, didn't you. I begged you not to."
"Daddy," Andrew stopped his father. "Daniel didn't tell me anything. I figured it out."
"I came over to out you," Daniel confessed, "but I couldn't do it. All of a sudden, Andrew looked at me and said, `You're my father's secret. Aren't you?' I didn't deny it."
"Why didn't you tell me?" Andrew asked. "Why did you lie to me?"
"I thought you would hate me."
"Nonsense. I love you more than ever."
"Why? What do you mean?"
Andrew took hold of Tony's hand and stood him up. "Daddy," Andrew said, "Tony is my lover, my soulmate. We've been making love since we started college."
"How could we both have been so blind?" Peter mused.
"I don't know," Andrew said, "but all that shit is in the past."
Daniel stood by smiling. "Group hug," he said and opened his arms.
In a very short time, Andrew moved into Tony's small apartment and they started to look for a bigger one. The day Andrew moved out of Peter's apartment, Daniel moved in.
Father and son had put one another on a pedestal, and were blinded by the light. They missed seeing that they had given each other the best gift of all, the gift of love. They loved each other enough to overcome any obstacle thrown their way.
Since this story is all about romance, I have to end it by saying, "They all lived happily ever after." At least, I hope so.