Second Time Around Part 1 Hey Guys. I am taking a break with my other Story "Never Knew Love Like This Before" and I am starting something new. Each month it is something new with me and this month I am in love with Chris Kirkpatrick. This story will focus on him and his love affair with a boy named Cameron. All the pre-Nsync and early Nsync stuff ,in the story, is based on memories (represented by the italics). I hope you can follow me.
Of course I don't know the Nsync Boys. If I did, I wouldn't be writing little stories about them. This is a fictional piece any implications about the sexuality of the band members is pure fantasy. Also any mention of other celebrity characters, people, or places, is purely for the purpose of the story. This is all in my mind folks!
Enjoy
Second Time Around, Part 1
By Joseph Wallace
When he told me that it was over, I thought that my world was going to explode. I had loved this man for a year and had given him parts of me that no one will ever know. Was I just a fucking Psych experiment to him. I just know that Orlando would be a cold place with out Chris. When I am alone, I often think about the first time we met.
I was a Freshman and it was my first day on Campus. Chris was one of the Orientation Leaders and I was in his group. I remember when he first knocked on my door while I was unpacking with my parents. The loud rapid knocks startled us, so my dad immediately opened the door.
"Hi. Is Cameron here." Chris exploded
"Sure come in! You must be the welcome committee, or you had a lot of coffee this morning." My dad joked.
"Sweetie, Cut it out. Come in young man. We are just helping Cameron get unpacked." My mom said, inviting Chris into the room. "Can I offer you something to eat. Homemade cookies perhaps?"
"Wow. I would love a cookie."
Chris came in and sat on my desk and started eating my mom's cookies. She poured him a cup of milk and he just made himself at home. I am sure my mom was trying to size him up to see if he was gay, or not. Every since I came out to my parents, my mom had been trying to fix me up. Needless to say, I felt a little uncomfortable having my mom cruise for me.
Chris kept staring at me and my parents. I imagined that he was wondering who I belonged to. My mom was black and my dad was Italian, so we were used to people giving us weird looks. I was as tall as my dad which meant that I was about 5'11", even 6' on a good day, depending on the shoes. I had thick curly jet black hair like him as well. My skin was a rich almond tone and I had my moms brownish-green eyes. I was definitely a mixture, no one could say that I was the mailman's child.
Chris took one last look at us and shrugged his shoulders. Either he just decided to forget about it, or he put the puzzle together. I pretended not to notice him to much. He was a short little guy with to much energy for this early morning. I guess you could say he was kind of dorky but cute at the same time.
After cramming cookies in his mouth, he jumped off of the desk and came over and started helping me unpack. . He hadn't said a word to me yet. He just smiled
"If this is your mom and dad, you have to be Cameron." Chris said while folding up some of my tee-shirts.
"Yeap that is me. You must be my long lost other brother, because you sure made your self at home with my cookies."
I must have caught him off guard because he stared at me like a deer caught in head lights. I gave him a sly smile and I pushed him playfully. Mom and dad were use to my antics, so they just laughed at Chris' reaction.
"I can see that you aren't a shy guy, Cameron. We are going to get along just fine." Chris winked.
Right then, I knew that I was going to enjoy the company of this elf like guy with the colorful hair extensions.
Time flies when you are having fun
It was already midsemester and I was busting my ass studying for midterms. I was kind of sad that I hadn't seen Chris in a while. We were both pretty busy with study groups and extracurricular stuff. He was consumed with loads of rehearsals for this theater project, while I was constantly in planning meetings for this terrible Business class I was taking.
I didn't want to admit it, but I was really attached to Chris. Even though he had a girlfriend, we spent every other moment with one another. It was amazing how in sync we were. There have even been times when we have even fallen asleep in each others room and woke up in each others arms. Right after my parents left me in my room that first day in August, we became attached at the hip. We did everything together. Movies, parties and I even twisted my ankle when he taught me how to roller blade. If this man were gay, he would probably be the one. Unfortunately, I felt like he was withdrawing from me lately. At first I thought it was work and timing, but now I am not so sure.
Jared, my roommate, and I decided to go over to the dinning hall. It was about 2 PM and we had an hour before brunch was over. We had been in the library since 9 AM and we just put the finishing touches on our Intro. to Business Presentation.
On the way down the path to the dining hall. I saw Chris and his girlfriend Dani. I got really excited because I hadn't heard from him in like two days which was definitely out of the ordinary for us.
As we got closer to the couple I told Jared to go a head and save me seat.
"Hey guys! What's up?" I said embracing my two favorite people.
Chris grunted at me and Dani gave me the most uncomfortable smile. "Did I interrupt something?" I asked some what confused.
"No sweetie. Everything is fine." Dani said giving me hug.
"What's up Lug Head." I said shoving Chris playfully. "You have totally missing in action and you left your stinky basketball t-shirt in my room."
Chris turned and gave Dani a pleading look and she rolled her eyes so hard, I thought they were going to pop out of her head.
"I have to go Cameron and I will talk to you later Chris." Dani said before storming off.
"What is up with her?" I asked Chris
"Nothing. I have to go." He said starting to walk away.
"Can we hang later? We can watch Ferris Buller's Day Off?"
"No. I am going to be busy and I have a party to go to."
"Oh. Maybe I can tag along. Is it a party at Sean's house? He has the best parties."
"Cameron. You can't come. I just need a break." he said sadly
"Oh. I see. I will talk to you later." I said with a cracked voice.
Chris walked away and didn't even know that I was tearing up. He acted like I had done something to hurt him. "Does he need a break from everything, or just from me?" I thought sadly.
I didn't even go to the dining hall. I was to upset. I just let the tears run freely as I walked back to my room to take a nap.
When I woke up, Jared was listening to some music with his headphones. He must have noticed me open my eyes because he took them off and turned in my direction.
"Hey Cam. I brought you something from the Basement." He said softly.
The Basement was the loving name that we had for the dining hall because of it's 'interesting' cuisine. I looked at Jared and smiled. Besides Chris, Jared was my best friend. He knew I was gay and he didn't even care. We even made out a couple of times before he and his girlfriend started dating. He was bi with a preference for women. He was cool laid back guy and I loved him. He must of known that I was upset because he just stared at me with this knowing look.
"I was sitting by the window in the Basement and I saw you and Chris talking. You looked kind of upset. Do you want to talk about it?"
"I don't know Jared. He has been withdrawing from me. He even said something about needing a break. I am supposed to be one of his best friends. Why would he need a break from me?"
"Cam. I have watched you two and I think you know your relationship is more complicated then being best friends."
"Look, Chris is straight. Any feelings that I think I have for him are misplaced. He has Dani and I don't want to talk about this anymore."
"I am just going to say this and that's it, "Chris loves you too." Jared said with an emphasis on the word love.
Jared and I just sat there. I glanced at the TV and he new what time it was.
"Super Nintendo Time." We both yelled.
After a couple of hours of nonstop video games, Jared went to hang out with some friends. Apparently everyone had a life except me. I played for a couple more minutes and then I was getting bored. I wanted to give Chris his space, but I needed to just clear the air, so I decided to go over to the theater and visit. I knew he was in rehearsal.
I was in the same funky clothes that I had on all day. I was in desperate need of doing some laundry. I threw on a t-shirt that was to tight but showed off my chest. I wasn't one to show off my body, but I was glad that I did a couple of push-ups here and there. I couldn't find any jeans, so I just threw on some sweats, my sneakers and a baseball cap.
When I got to the theater, the cast must have been taking a break. Everyone was scattered about chatting or having a cigarette. In the distance I saw this red head named Molly. She was the skank of the department, but she was really sweet.
"Hey Molly. Have you seen Chris?"
"Hey Cameron. What is up?! You are looking kind of hot." She said running over to me and feeling up my chest.
"Molly. I told you that I bat for the other team, now where is Chris." I said while laughing because she was tickling me.
"Just between you and me, he is in the green room. I think he is breaking up with his girl."
Molly was still talking when I walked away from her. She could be a chatter box at times and I really didn't want to stand and entertain her. Why would Chris be breaking up with Dani? Why was so many shitty things happening at once?
I snuck into the back of the green room and I could hear two familiar voices growling at each other. It also sounded like Dani was crying.
"Chris, I thought you loved me. Why are you doing this? Is it because of him?"
"No Dani! Don't bring Cameron into this. I told you I needed some space. We have officially been broken up for a month, but you keep lying to people!"
"I am not fuckin' ready for it to be over! I don't feel like explaining to my friends why my boyfriend left me for a guy."
"Look Dani, you knew our relationship was going down hill for a while. That is what cheating on your boyfriend does. It fucks up the relationship. Yes. I am attracted to Cameron and we do spend a lot of time together, but I never tried to be with him. You on the other hand dipped in the forbidden pool."
"But I love you Chris. Please..."
"Don't do it Dani." Chris interrupted. "I don't want to hear it. I love you, but I'm not in love with you anymore. If you care for me at all, you won't tell your friends anything about me or Cam. Save you and the embarrassment. Anyway, I never said I was going after Cameron. He is just my best friend and please don't tell me how you felt to insecure! You know I would have never done anything to compromise our relationship!"
"But you did say that you were attracted to him." Dani yelled.
"Didn't we say that we were going to be honest with each other? We knew that each other was bi, right? Look Dani, I don't want to part on bad terms and I am not ready to be in another relationship. I wouldn't do that to you, him or I. I'm not leaving you for him. I am just leaving YOU. I need time to bereave the ending of this bond before I can even think of starting another."
There was a moment of silence and I could here the subtle sound of a soft kiss and a sharp inhale.
I stood there in utter shock. I couldn't believe that Chris was breaking up with Dani. I also couldn't believe that I was a factor in this whole thing. "I guess that's why he has been avoiding me." I whispered to myself.
I immediately snuck out of the green room and made my way out of the theater. I didn't want either one of them to know that I had been there.
I ran past Molly and said a quick "Goodbye." I was exiting the outside doors when behind me I could here Molly yelling. "Hey Chris. Cameron was just here looking for you, but I think he left."
I sprinted back to the residence hall faster then lightening strikes.
Hiding behind masks
It had been another week and I still hadn't heard from Chris. Although it was frustrating, at least I had an idea why he was avoiding me. I would be lying if I said that I didn't want to at least speak to him. Thank goodness I was elated and distracted by other things.
I had just gotten out of my last midterm and I was sure that I aced it. I also finished my business presentation and the group got an A on the spot. The next 4 days would be all about me!! Midterms were more or less over and classes wouldn't kick in until Monday. I was going to do some major cleaning and then I was going to party.
I grabbed some food from the campus store and I headed to my room. Jared went down to Miami for the weekend. I was going to go, but I just needed some alone time.
I walked into my room and threw the stuff on the desk. It was nice to come home to a clean room.
"Wait a minute. I didn't clean this room and Jared left already!" I said out loud.
"I cleaned it."
I looked up and there was Chris under the sheet in my bed. I was somewhat startled because I didn't know that he was there.
"Thanks. You shouldn't have." I said sarcastically.
"I guess I deserved that." Chris said, rising from laying down and wiping the sleep form his eyes.
"First of all I haven't seen you in ages Chris. We have barely said anything to each other in the last two weeks. The pathetic thing is that I thought we were supposed to be close friends."
"Best Friends." he said.
Now he was leaning on the desk next to me. I could smell his fresh scent. I could always tell when he had just finished his laundry. All of his clothes would smell like fabric softener. That scent mixed with the natural smell of his body was intoxicating. I wanted to be mad at him, but he was making it a little difficult.
He reached over and grabbed my hand and squeezed it.
"I am sorry Cam. I didn't mean to be so aloof. I have just been going through a lot lately and I didn't want to talk about it."
"You mean you didn't want to talk about it with me." I mumbled under my breathe.
"What was that?" Chris asked a little annoyed
"Nothing."
Chris was still holding my hand and staring at me. All of a sudden he started to tickle me. He knew I hated that more then anything. Next he had me on the bed and I was begging for him to stop.
"Are you going to forgive me?" He asked.
"Chris this isn't fair. Let me be angry." I yelled through laughter.
"Ok, I guess I am going to have to do this for a whole hour." He threatened.
"Ok! Ok! I am not mad. You had me right after you said 'best friend.'"
I stared at him and I just couldn't get enough. He was a little quirky, but I almost believed he was perfect.
"Oh I almost forgot." He said before running to the closet.
"Ta Da!" He swung open the closet and it was organized and he had washed and folded my clothes. Next, he pulled out two paper bags from the top shelf of the closet. "Anyone for Chinese."
Yeah. He was perfect. There was no doubt about it from this point.
We spent the rest of the evening eating and talking about everything that happened. He even told me what happened with him and Dani. He said he needed time to sort things out. I was really relieved that he shared everything with me. I was just a little disappointed he didn't tell me the whole truth.
"What should we do now. I am stuffed." I said.
"Well, I want to continue talking. I have something else to say."
"Shoot."
"Ok. This is kind of funny." He said laughing a little. "There is a mirror in the green room in the theater. Have you ever noticed it."
"No. I haven't even been there that many times." I replied
"I see. Anyway, the mirror is positioned in such a way that you can see when someone is standing outside of the door."
I was getting a little nervous at this point so I hopped off of the bed and begin cleaning up the cartons that the Chinese food came in. I just hope he didn't see me.
"Cam. I saw you last week when you were leaving the green room. Be honest with me. How much did you hear."
I was shocked. I couldn't even turn around to face him. He had seen me leaving the green room area and now he knew that I was eavesdropping.
"I don't know what you are talking about Chris..."
"Bullshit Cam. We have never lied to each other. Come clean I am not mad. If you lie to me then I will be." He said sternly.
I was a little emotionally overwhelmed. I never imagined this level of confrontation. I couldn't even hold the flood gates close. Tears begin to trickle down my face and I was embarrassed.
"Please baby, don't cry. I am not mad. Just talk to me." he said soothingly.
Baby
"We...well I heard everything. Everything about everything. What do you want me to say?" I said through tears.
"How do you feel about what you heard."
"Come on Chris, you can't be that dense. Don't you know how I feel about you? Don't you see how happy I get when I am around you? Do you know how many guys I have turned away since Freshman Orientation. There was always this ounce of hope that you would be with me, that you could be the one. When I heard you say that you were attracted to me, I almost fainted. I always thought, but I didn't even know that you were bi. I am already so very attached to you, but I understand that you aren't ready."
I walked over to the window seat and, sat down and stared out . The sun was setting and a cool breeze was blowing into the window. Chris slide into the window behind me and looked over my shoulder. I shivered a little and he placed his arms around me. It felt so good and I allowed myself to melt into him.
"I can't promise you anything, but I can try. I am just not ready to broadcast to the world about it."
"Chris. I don't need to go public, I just want moments like this. Just keep holding me."
Chris placed a soft kiss on the back of my neck and I shuddered with pleasure. He pulled me back and held me in his arms like a baby. I leaned back and looked into his eyes and I drowned into a pool of brown. When his lips touched mine, I forgot about everything else and savored the lingering taste of Chinese food on his tongue. I opened my mouth wide to give him complete and utter access and he took control. He sucked on my tongue ferociously and I almost orgasamed. I pushed him back lightly and he stopped kissing me with a confused look.
"Air. I need air." I gasped.
We both laughed really hard before we resumed kissing a little more.
"I have a movie. Want to watch it? He asked leading me towards the bed.
"What is it."
"Terms of Endearment. Your favorite."
"Oh Chris." I said planting a kiss on his lips. "Thank you."
"Chris?"
"Yes."
"I want us to try. I want to be with you. I...I really do."
"Good, because I can't think of any place I rather be."
We never watched Terms of Endearment that night.
And I was never able to watch Terms of Endearment again.
So what do you guys think. I wanted to really write something cool, so let me know. I am still going to write more on the other story, but this has really got me going. Please write me at pammonds@rocketmail.com
Toodles!