Second Chance, Chapter 81
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Second Chance, Chapter 81
On Sunday, the guys in the Larson-Brady home all managed to get up for church. After the service, several boys who had participated in the retreat came up to thank them for organizing it. The parents of Tyler and Shane made a special point of expressing their appreciation for opening up a dialog between them and their sons. It was evident that Tyler and Shane had not overstated the love and understanding of their families.
Dr. Mann asked Eric and Josh if they could return in the afternoon for a debriefing. They had left the obvious pun alone, although all had smiled at its mention.
At their brief meeting, they went over the results from the evaluation sheets which participants in the retreat had filled out before leaving on Saturday night. They were pleased with the responses.
"Everyone had very positive comments," he said to the boys. "The only negative thing I saw was that it ended too soon! Most of them said it could have gone on for another day or two and they look forward to having this be an annual event.
They all seemed interested in checking out the link you gave them. Someone suggested setting up a web-site where everyone could contribute and discuss things regularly. A couple of boys wanted more information on the mechanics of gay sex, but were afraid to ask - even in the small groups. I suspect that you may be contacted by some of them for more private discussions. It would be fine if you're comfortable with it."
When the guys turned their phones on again after the meeting, they had several text messages and phone messages to contact some of the boys. It looked like Dr. Mann's prediction was coming true already.
Tommy, Lee, Tyler, and Shane wanted additional info on "how to DO it," as they called it, trying to request more info in a delicate manner. Josh called to ask them if they wanted to meet individually or in a group of the four of them. Each guy, after a bit of thinking and lot of giggling, said he would feel comfortable discussing intimate things in the presence of those other guys – particularly one special guy. Josh was relieved because it would mean having the "talk" only once as opposed to two times minimum. It was decided that they'd meet after school on Wednesday in Josh and Eric's home.
The most surprising call came from Sam. He and Aaron wanted to come over as soon as possible. So Josh invited them to come over after supper.
Sam, normally the model of self-discipline, acted like he was ready to crawl out of his skin when he was ushered up to the boys' apartment.
"Man, what's gotten into you? It can't be anything from the retreat," Eric stated.
"It is and it isn't," Sam replied. "The bit about monogamy kind of got to me. I wish I'd gotten into that earlier. Now I feel like I've really fucked up – not just me, but Aaron too."
"I'm not blaming you," Aaron insisted. "It's not your fault, but I'm scared too."
"Okay, spill it!" Josh insisted.
"Well," Sam began, "I got a call from my cousin, Drew, this afternoon. His friend tested positive – the one who was his fuck-buddy."
"For HIV?" Josh asked.
"Yeah, you see, he fooled around with Drew and Drew taught me some new stuff and I tried it with Aaron. Oh shit!"
"And you didn't use protection," Eric stated more than asked.
Sam hung his head.
"I could just kill myself!"
"That wouldn't help anything," Josh assured him. "You need to chill and think about this rationally. Use the discipline you've learned in martial arts. Control your breathing, relax and focus.
First, your cousin may not have been infected. Even if he is, you and Aaron might have dodged the bullet. The important thing is to get tested immediately and possibly again in a few months before you have unprotected sex with each other or anyone else.
A guy we know went through hell because of a false positive that was caused because someone in a lab screwed with it. He went to a friend's doctor who gave him a test. There's even a newer one that takes only a drop of blood and a few minutes to give results. I'll call Corray tonight and see if he can help me. Then we'll set up an appointment as soon as possible. In the mean time, don't jump to any conclusions or off any bridges!"
"He's right. My husband is a very smart guy," Eric smiled as he gave Josh a peck on the cheek. "Stay calm and keep a positive attitude. This incident might be enough to scare you into responsible behavior without making you pay the price."
Sam dropped Aaron off at his house and went home. It was futile to ask to have a sleepover on a night before a new school week. Their parents might have allowed it if they'd known the stress their sons were under: however, neither boy wanted to reveal what was bothering him. It was a subject one didn't broach even with parents who were open and supportive – at least until the results of the tests were known.
Josh and Eric drove Sam and Aaron to Dr. Martin's office after school the following day. It wasn't that Sam couldn't have driven them, but he didn't feel like he wanted to go without support and he wasn't sure how safe a driver he would be in his preoccupied state of mind.
After a few minutes in the waiting room, the nurse came to escort the two boys to separate examining rooms.
"Can we go in together and can our friends come with us please?" Sam requested.
"Certainly; we just usually assume that young men want their privacy."
They hadn't waited long before Dr. Martin knocked on the door and entered. Her pleasant smile and motherly manner put Sam and Aaron at ease immediately.
"Which of you am I seeing today?"
Aaron and Sam raised their hands slightly. Frances Martin nodded, noting how young and innocent they looked. The other two young men appeared to be more mature and self-assured. They looked somewhat familiar.
"I guess you know Corray. Without going into detail, he explained why you needed to get in today. My schedule isn't heavy due to a couple of weather-related cancelations, so I'll have plenty of time to counsel with you. I understand you want to be tested for HIV because you could have been exposed, is that correct?"
Both boys nodded.
"I'll do a blood draw on both of you. It takes only a drop for the test, but I want to send the rest to the lab to check for other STD's since you've been sexually active enough to be concerned about HIV. We'll also check for hepatitis B."
Dr. Martin went to work quickly and efficiently. The boys barely felt the prick of the needle, but Sam became a bit light-headed from the experience. He'd never fainted at the sight of blood, but was keyed up enough to experience a drop on blood pressure. Aaron was fine.
While a drop of blood from each guy was being tested with the kits, Dr. Martin gathered information and talked to them about safer behaviors.
"I'm going to ask some personal questions. Would you like me to excuse your friends so you can answer in private?"
"We've told them everything; we'd rather have them here if that's okay," Aaron assured her.
"Let's precede then. How long ago did this possible contact with the virus happen?"
"It was Thanksgiving," Sam said. "That's when I was with a guy who'd been with the guy who tested positive."
"Okay, that's three months ago – time enough to show up in this test. Do you know if the first guy had contracted HIV by that time?"
"No, I don't know."
"So, he might have been infected more recently and you may not have anything to worry about. Either way, this should serve as a warning to practice safer sex. Notice I didn't say "safe" sex. There is always a risk that condoms could rupture or that blood contact could occur for some other reason, but that's no excuse for NOT using protection unless you stick with one person who is disease free and you can trust him. Understood?"
"Yes, ma'am," both answered.
"Was there anal sex involved?"
"Uh huh," Sam said looking at the patterns on the tile floor.
"Were you the giver or receiver? Do you know what I mean by that?"
"Yes ma'am. I was on top with Drew. Aaron was on top with me the first time, but we've switched sometimes. I think Drew was on top with the other guy."
"Well, the guy being penetrated is at greater risk statistically speaking, but the virus can be passed either way. If your tests come up negative today, I think you're out of the woods.
I want to caution you about other things you can catch by sleeping around. Let me say first that I'm not judging you. It's not my place. I know Mother Nature has flooded your bloodstreams with massive doses of hormones. You can't help feeling horny. The problem is that She hasn't completely wired your teenage brains yet. For the time being, you're likely to be thinking with your little heads instead of the ones on your shoulders."
All four guys grinned at her down-to-earth manner of speaking. Obviously she was not only knowledgeable, but also a straight-shooter who wouldn't be afraid to tell the facts as she saw them.
"There are sexually transmitted diseases like syphilis, gonorrhea, herpes, genital warts, and hepatitis that can be contracted through intimate contact with a carrier. Hepatitis B is probably the worst of these because it can mess up your liver, eventually leading to cancer in some cases.
By the way, there is a higher prevalence of "B" in Asian populations – especially Chinese because the disease originated in that part of the world and it can be passed from the mothers at birth. That most likely doesn't apply to you, Sam, since you're evidently Eurasian or Amerasian."
"Yeah, my father is Japanese and my mother is American of northern European descent," Sam confirmed.
"Sorry, I've digressed. My bottom line in this conversation is that any of you who are sexually active with other men would do well to be vaccinated against both hepatitis A and B. Given the practice some gay men have of using their tongues to pleasure their partners rectally, it's a good idea to be prepared.
You may be put off by that behavior now," she said noticing Aaron's reaction. "But be aware that your tastes may change - no pun intended!"
"Can you give us the shots?" Aaron spoke up for the first time in a while.
"I can, but they'll cost you $60 per shot per time. You'll need three for B and two for A. That adds up to a tidy sum. Public health will inoculate you free in this county if you tell them you're gay. There's a push to try to vaccinate those most at risk.
Unfortunately there aren't any inoculations against syphilis and gonorrhea, but we have drugs strong enough to treat them, especially when they're caught early. So, if you even suspect you have either of them, you need to come in to get tested immediately!
Well, I've distracted you long enough. The test has run its course and you're both negative! Congratulations. Sleep well tonight, but don't forget my warnings."
"Thanks!" both boys responded at once.
"How much do we owe you," Sam asked.
"Nothing. Two of my regular patients and their boyfriends are covering it. They've established a little fund for that purpose."
"I'll bet Corray is one of them," Eric said.
"It's being done anonymously so I can neither confirm nor deny," Dr. Martin said with a sly smile.
Josh pulled out his billfold and extracted three twenty-dollar bills. Eric followed his example.
"May we please contribute to the fund?"
"Certainly, but that's a lot for high school students to part with."
"It's okay. Josh recently sold a large pastel painting and I'm pretty flush at the moment with the demand for our book and stuffed animals."
Dr. Martin got a bemused look on her face as if she'd just received a revelation.
"We're done here gentlemen, but please follow me to my office."
When the guys stepped into her luxurious private space they all smiled in understanding.
"I didn't recognize you from your photo at the gallery. I should have known you're `Joshua.' I can see why I felt I should know Eric from somewhere because he's obviously the model for this angel. The painting's kind of imposing in this space and I was going to hang it in my foyer at home like Mrs. Bell did. But, I spend more time here and wanted to see it regularly. Besides, I think the angel gives comfort to patients when they're facing bad news. Had either of these young men tested positive, I'd have told them in here. Thanks so much for painting it and thanks for the donation. I'll have the secretary write you receipts in case you need them for tax purposes."
Frances Martin proceeded to hug each of the guys before she sent them on their way. She sent up a quick mental prayer for their safety. Again she thought of how young and innocent they appeared.
Luc had just spent another productive hour, along with Garret, at Cal's office. "Cal" was in fact Dr. Calvin Sutherland Atwater III, an excellent psychiatrist who came highly recommended and was fairly expensive. However, Cal felt that his aristocratic sounding moniker made him seem inaccessible to his patients, so he insisted that everyone call him by his nickname.
Garret had accompanied Luc at his request. Luc wanted his support while realizing he might reveal bits of information that he'd not discussed with Garret in the process of baring his soul to the doctor. Garret might think less of him when he heard the details, but it was a risk he was willing to take. He needed Garret to know all his secrets and this would either draw them closer or... He didn't want to think about the alternative. He was sure Garret would understand; he just HAD to.
In the first session, Cal had kept the conversation light - getting to know Luc better and building rapport. His manner was charming and disarming. Luc relaxed and enjoyed the visit despite feeling that his mother's money was being wasted. They had discussed "feelings" a bit, but not too deeply.
About halfway through the second appointment, the doctor steered the conversation toward Luc's reason for being there.
"I have an unnatural dread of heights that I've had to work hard to overcome. What's your greatest fear, Luc?"
"That I'll screw up and lose my friends, especially my boyfriend," Luc responded without hesitation.
"May I assume that would that be you, Garret?"
"The same," Garret responded with a smile. "Luc's going to have a difficult time getting rid of me because I really care for him – like no one I've ever met."
"Is there a basis for your fear of losing Garret, Luc?"
"Yeah, I cheated on him once."
"By his calm reaction, I guess this isn't a revelation."
"Yeah, he confessed to me the minute he saw me again." Garret confirmed. "Besides, it wasn't really cheating. He just played around a little."
"You didn't feel it was too serious, then?" Cal probed.
"At first I did. I went postal, but after I calmed down I realized it was just a horny teenager getting off with a friend, not a violation of our love. Our mutual friend made the move on him; not the other way around. The other guy's in an open relationship and assumed we were too."
"Is this all, Luc?"
"No sir. I betrayed my brother a couple of years ago and got him kicked out on the streets. I trapped him into a sexual situation when I knew our father would catch us and blame him. I'm an evil person."
"Do you have any kind of relationship with your brother now?"
"Yeah, we're close. He totally forgave me. That's why I feel like such a shit! It's like everyone gives me a second chance and I'm not worthy of it."
"Did you know all of this, Garret?"
"No, not the sex part with his brother. I knew they'd had differences."
"Does it upset you?"
"Not really. It was before Luc and I knew each other. I've heard that brothers sometimes mess around doing guy things, like jacking off and stuff," Garret blushed. "I don't care what they did. It doesn't affect what Luc and I have now. Lots of guys experiment growing up."
"But I feel so guilty!" Luc remonstrated. "How can you love a guy who not only initiated sex with his brother, but used it to try to take his place in the family and put his brother through Hell in the process?"
"I love you because you're loveable! Rob loves you. He was very hurt initially, but you begged forgiveness and he granted it and embraced you as his brother again. It's kind of like what God does for us. It's unconditional love. That's what I hope you and I will have for each other - forever."
"Actually, I was thinking along the same lines," Cal said. "I don't usually bring The Almighty into the equation unless a client brings it up. But Garret has given a great example. Can you believe that God has forgiven you and all of humankind?"
"Yeah, I guess so," Luc hesitated. "It's what I've been taught."
"If Garret, your brother, and God all forgave you, can you learn to forgive yourself?"
"I guess so. I've never really thought of it that way."
"Luc, I feel that in order to truly love other people, we have to learn to love ourselves – warts and all, so to speak. We all have flaws. We're human! We're going to take falls kind of like a baby learning to walk. A kid takes small, uncertain steps at first, but soon he's running free."
"Wow, I like that," Luc enthused.
"The next time you feel down, unworthy, or awkward, and I'm not so old I don't remember feeling like a dweeb in high school, I want you to say to yourself: `I'm a good looking boy with a great sense of humor and lots of fine qualities. Garret loves me. My brother loves me. Mom loves me – enough to pay some idiot lots of money to make me feel better about myself!'"
Luc laughed heartily at Cal's self-effacing joke. He felt like several pounds of lead had been lifted from his shoulders. It was like he could fly if he wanted to.
"I can't believe I feel so good already," Luc said aloud. "I thought you were just a fun guy to talk with, but I didn't think you'd cure me."
"Your euphoric state will fluctuate most likely," the doctor cautioned. "Hormones tend to give us mood swings. Besides, we can't have you completely cured until I get my new Beamer paid off!"
That brought another guffaw from both the boys.
"I'll schedule you next week for the same time slot if that's okay. You can always bring this guy with you if you like at no extra charge."
"Thanks, Doctor At..., uh Cal. I think you might have to find some other kid to shrink if you have a lot more to pay on your car. I'm going to be fine!"
After their appointment with Dr. Martin, Sam and Aaron got dropped at school to pick up Sam's car. They proceeded to Aaron's house. His parents wouldn't be home for nearly an hour and Dylan was helping Coach David until 5:00. In the mean time, the house was theirs.
"You wanna come to my room and do something?" Aaron asked quietly.
"Yeah, I want to hold you and never let you go." Sam answered. "Let's cuddle. We don't have to do anything else. I'm shot!"
"That's fine with me!" Aaron grinned. "I'm exhausted too."
Soon the two of them had stripped down to their underwear and were snuggled skin to skin in Aaron's bed. It felt so right. Within five minutes, both were out like a light.
So sound was their sleep that they didn't hear Dylan come in. He breezed into the room to share some news about swimming stats with Aaron, but stopped mid stride so as not to startle the guys.
He tiptoed back out to retrieve his camera. With the flash shut off, he snapped several pictures of the boyfriends asleep in each other's arms. They looked so sweet and innocent that it nearly made macho ole Dylan emotional. He really did love his bro. He had come to care about Sam too. He hoped they'd stay together.
Dylan awakened the two before the `rents got home. He knew his parents were cool about it all, but figured it might be best if everyone was dressed when they arrived.
At school on Tuesday, several kids acted like they had spring fever and it wasn't even spring break yet.
Sam and Aaron were in rare form. Both were positively giddy with relief knowing that they weren't infected with HIV. Later in the day, they both got word about their other tests. All were negative. By the time school was over, the two were grinning all over.
Luc was also in a great mood and lifted the spirits of everyone he came in contact with, including a couple of teachers.
He had awakened feeling more rested than he had in years. His mother commented on his happy manner.
"What's gotten into you?"
"Love! And I'm not just talking about my awesome boyfriend. I know that Garret loves me, Rob loves me, and you love me."
"Don't forget about the rest of your siblings. The girls love you and Mickey and Nick idolize you. The sun rises and sets with you in their eyes."
"I hadn't really thought about that," Luc admitted. "Now I have a couple more reasons to feel great!"
Sophia shook her head, smiling. The bucks she was laying out for the psychiatrist were proving to be worth every penny.
Author's notes: Thanks to everyone who emailed since last posting: Rutabaga, John McD, Lux, Edward D, Bill K, Walt S, Roger L, Jim W, Karserus, Jim C, Jian, Dom, Paul R, and Tom A.
In a link sent by Paul R, (http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20100704/lf_afp/spainreligiongaysrights), I have learned that Spain will get an MCC church in October. Progress is being made.
David