Hello friends. I just had to write this story on the back of the two georgeous guys that i have seen this morning. They were sitting close at the Milky Lane and eating ice cream with one feeding the other, fuck it was so shitting sensual!
If you want to contact me and have a little chat, you can find me at ryanstories@yahoo.com
Im always up for a little sexual talk. Im hot, 22 and horny! LOL.
Sebastian's secret
I have no idea when it happened. When i became like i am today. It is supposed to be a sin in God's eyes and The Bible clearly states that one man shall not lie with another and homosexuals will be condemned in the lowers fires of hell. But one thing that The Bible, nor teachers, nor parents nor all those biggots that hates faggots does not say is how the hell is a gay kid or teenager suppose to cope of the feelings that one boy develops for another! Or how to stop it. You all wanna know what? You can't! You can send your children to all the so called clinics and doctors, but it won't help! If you are a 16 year old boy and one day discover that you have more than friendship feelings for your best friend, than what the fucking hell are you supposed to do? Yes, that's right. I fell for the age old scenario where you fell for your best friend. No, im not a girl, im a guy. I'll never forget that time when I first met James. It was 5 years ago and we were both 11. Oh, fuck to be eleven again and without any of this shit going on! But yeah anyways when he leaned over the fence over our house and asked if i wanted to come for a swim, that was the moment that our friendship started and blossomed ever since. James was the kinds guy that was game to try anything else, even run naked down the street when we got drunk two years ago and out parents had to fetch us at the police station when the neighbours called them after being exposed to a little too much from either of us. And now, now me and my best friend were not even speaking to eachother and it is all my own fucking fault. And i don't know if I will ever get a chance to make everything right again. I don't care about my feelings for James, i just desperately want my friend back.
My name is Sebastian Dane and like stated above, im am 16 years of age. It was at a football game last year that i discovered the horrifying truth. That i was in love with my best friend James Connely. Don't ask me how the hell this happened. I honestly cannot tell you. Infact me and James had until that time started to scope out girls that we wanted to get together with and that we wanted to fuck as our hormones was starting to get ahead of us. I had my eye on this beautiful brunette called Gina Rawlins. She was our age and i was instantly smitten with her. We got along well and even went out to see a couple of movies, and during What Happens in Vegas, we started making out in the backrow of the movie thearte. I told my parents that i was in love with Gina after my father asked me straight out of there was somebody that i was in love with. I guess he saw a bit if himself in me from when he was younger. Whatever. My mother was furious when she discovered that my father had given me a condom to use if the need should arrise. You can imagine how she reacted. Anyway, things went from really good to really worse when Gina wanted to have sex. Unfortunately, just as we were about to get it on, and don't get me wrong, my shirt, trousers and boxers had come on rather easily and eagerly and my stiff 7 inch cock was standing straight up and proud, ready for its first journey into a soft pussy, but a feeling of nervousness took hold of me just as Gina was about to give me a blowjob. I mean, looking back now, you go ahead and offer a blowjob or a fuck to a 15 year old boy and he will probably cum as you offer him to. But i JUST COULD NOT GO AHEAD WITH IT! Until this day i dont know why or how it happened. U can think for yourself what Gina made of all of this. She went on a rampage about what was wrong with her, because as she saw it, my cock was ready and willing to go until I saw her naked, which could not have been further from the truth. I blacked out and didn't even go over to James's after all that. Naturally as we were best friends, James came over on the 4th straight day that we didn't see eachother and wanted to know if he had done something wrong and if i was pissed with him. I told him no. How the fuck could i tell him the real reason.
"Bullshit man, your mother told me you even refused to go to school these past couple of days! Dude, you're my best friend! I wanna help you, man!"
"James, just leave me alone. I just wanna be alone, can't anyone understand that?"
"Okay dude, i dont wanna fight with you, so im just gonna go and hope you will be your old self someday. Cheers."
And with that James left, and left me with my failed feelings. Slowly but surely I started to realise that it was just panic, and I was brave enough to speak to my father about it, and he told me that it was nothing to worry about.
"Son, remember, it was your first time that you were intimate with a girl. Some boys mature more fast and that's why you read in the paper of girls that get pregnant at twelve or thirteen. You son, will make a fine husband for your wife one day. I respect you for that you felt you had to wait for a later occation. As long you don't come home and tell me you have a crush on some boy, hey! Hahaha!"
My father patted my on the shoulder and tossed my hair around. I remember sitting there and thinking, I would never be gay, Dad! Little did I know. A year later at that fatal football game, i was waiting for James to arrive and was eating a packet of crisps and drinking a Pepsi while waiting when i saw him and waved him over. And surprise upon surprise, he had a girl with him. They were making their way towards me and I felt this twitch of...what should i call it...jealousy? I mean James was my best friend and we spent every single moment together and too be honest, he was there for me when I needed him the most over the years, and this was the first time that he had a official girlfriend. So that's why i could not explain this sudden rush of jealousy that raged through me.
"Dude, you're early! Sebastian, meet Jade, my girlfriend. Jade, this is my best friend and brother of another mother, Sebastian."
"Hey there! It's so nice to meet you! James told me all about you. So you guys have been best friends for a long time?"
"Yeah, i guess you can say that. Nice to meet you aswell, Jade. So when did this all happen?"
"I met her in detention yesterday, remember i told you that i had to stay after school? It was love at first sight, man," James said with a glint in his eyes. It was pretty obvious that he was head over heals in love with Jade. And I really thought that i had no problem with it. That was until the next weekend. James and I had this thing that when a new horror movie came out, we were usually first in the cue to go and watch it. Prom Night was showing that the thearte and like a fool, just like i always did, i dressed and walked next door to James's house and straight to his bedroom window. It was a ritual between the two of us, to rather use this entrance when we came over to the other's house. Like always, the window was open and i pushed the curtains away...only to be shocked out of my life! James was naked and Jade was giving him a blowjob! My eyes must have bulged out of their sockets as I watched my friend do the exact same activity to which i could not respond to a year earlier. I have never seen James look at me with the expression that he did that afternoon.
"Dude, what the fuck are you doing here?" he screamed.
I couldn't answer, i just amde myself scarce and ran back to my house. As i slammed the door closed, i started to hyperventilate slightly, as I shocked and emotional the same time. I slowly made my way to my room and fell down on my bed, trying to stare the reality of the situation in the eye. The fact was simple, i wasn't jealous of James, that he had the fucking guts to do what i couldn't, but the fact that Jade was giving James sexual pleasure. And that freaked my out beyond that anything else could. I buried my face into my pillow and pleaded with God to take these feelings away. Feelings which a guy should not be feeling for another guy. As time went on, I sent James a text message to apologize and he sent one back saying that it was allright, and that I wasn't to know what was going on in his room that day. It was crazy of me to believe that it was a one time thing, me feeling that way towards my best friend. About two weeks after the incident, James suggested that we go and watch Prom Night since Jade had to spend the weekend with her parents at to visit her older brother on his wedding aniversary in Brighton. Immediatly i knew that James wouldn't even comtemplate spending the day with me if Jade wasn't gone. It was becoming more apparant to me that i was losing James to Jade. That night we had so much fucking fun! It was just like that days before Jade. We brought popcorn and Cokes, sat right in the front row of the thearte, loudly enjoyed the horrific killings in the movie by slapping and pushing eachother around and then having dinner at MacDonalds afterwards. When he got home, he turned to me after switching off the car.
"Thanks man. It was great. I kinda missed this, you know, only us two hanging out. Im sorry that I haven't been a great friend lately."
"Come on James, surely Jade is more important to impress that I am!" i laughed. Secretly i did not mean a fucking word of that as we got out of the car and walked to the front of his house.
"Yeah bro, just remember...Jade might be my girlfriend, but you will always be and remain my best friend. Nothing will ever change that. You know what eill be so freaking cool? If you could patch things up again with Gina! Then we can go out as a foursome! It was be so sick, the things that we can get up to together!"
"Maybe not Gina dude, but i do have my eye on this one...well you will be the first one to know if anything happens. I guarantee that."
"Yeah you fucking hounddog who couldn't get it up for a blowy!" James laughed and placed his arm around me and pulled me closer. If I had to say, that was the moment which my fears and my feelings were confirmed. All I can recall was his strong body against mine, his cologne that he had on, his voice next to my face...That was it, there was no denying it. We high fived eachother and went to our respective houses. I walked like a automatic robot towards my room and once more just fell on my bed. And for the first time in about...what...four years, i started to cry. The tears just could not stop dribbling out of my eyes. I didn't even feel that I had to cry because my best friend would never return what I felt for him, it was the unfairness of it all. Why was I having feeling for James? Why was i having feelings for a boy? I sure as hell didn't ask for any of this. And what scared me most was my religion. We all knew that Christianity and homosexuality did not see eye to eye. And now i was in love with James. I tried to compare the feelings I had for James to the affections i had to all my other guy friends, and none came close. No, there was no mistake. That was what I could not understand. The Bible said that God would never bring you anything on yout path that which you could not handle. Well i sure as fuck didn't know how to go about this!
Months went on and off without me ever telling James how I felt about him, and clearly he wasn't in the mood to hear that his best friend was having queer thoughts about him as he was painting the town red with Jade. One night, a turning point in my life came to me from the most unlikiest person that I ever thought. I finished eating my dinner and started washing the dishes while my mother was drying them. After i was heading down the passage to my room when my father called me to the study.
"Dad? You wanted to see me?"
"Yeah son. Sit down."
I did, and looked at him. What the fuck was going on here? My dad seemed strange and weird. I tried to remember if I did something to make him mad, but I couldn't think of anything.
"Son, there is something which has been bothering me for some time and now and that i have my suspitions of. Please forgive me if i am wrong, but I will not be a rightfull father to you if i didn't ask this. Sebastian, are you gay?"
"Dad! Why on Earth would you ask me that?" Allright now i was fucked all the way up. I had given him no idea of knowing about my feelings for James. I didn't tell a single soul or write any emotional shit down in a diary!
"Son, last year when you told me about what happened with Gina, I said to myself: The boy is young, he will get his act together sooner rather than later and meet a nice girl. It is now almost two years later and still...Son, I saw James this afternoon with his girlfriend and he told me that next week it will be their 6 month anniversary. I can't help to think why you haven't...how should I say this...found someone! You don't even talk about any girls ever! Son, that is not natural!"
"So Dad, it would be concidered natural if i meet a girl and fucked her raw until she bleeds her previously virginal pussy red and make her pregnant with my cum?"
F.U.C.K. I had never spoken to my dad like that before. I dont think he even knew that I knew those words. My father stood up and looked down at me.
"Get out."
"Dad, im sorry..."
"Get the fuck out! No son of mine speaks to me like that! You will stay in your room until I say so! Go!"
The electronical clock on my night stand told me that it was 22:05. I was so shitting tired, but didn't want to go to sleep. I knew that if i did, i would have another wet dream like that one I had the previous evening. No guesses who my lover was in the dream. I heard the window opening and someone pushing the curtains away. A pair of legs appeared followed by the body of the boy which I loved more than life itself. James stood over my bed and sat down at the foot end.
"I heard screaming and shouting earlier, so I waited until all the lights were off. Are you allright, buddy?"
My heart was screaming: "Yes, James! Im more than allright! Because you are here! I want you in my arms so much! I love you!" But I just nodded and turned to my other side, facing away from James. He didn't leave it there though, he jumped on me in typical boyish manner and started to tickle me. I had to start laughing and giggling because we had done this to eachother since we were eleven and was still enjoyable to this day. We ended up in a position where he was lying on top of me and i was looking straight into this eyes. My heart leaped. I could not do this any longer. My body and mind just could not take that kind of emotional strain. I sat up and leaned over to James. I saw the slightest confusion in his eye and his sneaky smile fading...that was the last thing I saw before i passionately placed my lips on his and started to kiss him with all the love that i felt for him. Im sure that he could feel the love transferring from my body into his from that kiss...in the few seconds that it lasted before he violently pushed me away and hastily wiped his mouth.
"Are you fucking queer or what, dude? What the fuck was that?" he whispered angrily.
"James, you can think of me what you want. Im sorry man, but i can't hide this any longer. If I do, my head will explode. I don't know how it happened, man. I don't know why. But i fell in love with you, James. I don't expect anything from you and if you choose to end our friendship, I'll understand."
"Dude, that's just a little weird. That shit is gay shit, man! And i know you, Sebastian, you're not gay. Not in a million years!"
"Get ready for a shock, my friend. I don't know if im gay. But i do know that im in love with you. I love you so much man, it hurts to be away from you and it kills me to see you and Jade so happy. Seeing you hold her and wishing it was me. Watching you and hoping you would smile in my direction. Just wanting to spend some time with you..."
"Sebastian, best friends or not, if you do not shut the fuck up right now, im gonna beat this gay shit out of you!" James was shaking with anger now. But i wasn't going to drop this.
"James, do you think that I asked for this? Like hell i wanna be gay! I hate this! But i can't help it. I love you."
James looked at me with such utter disgust and it was then that i knew that our friendship was over. Suddenly he reached out and slapped me across the face. I wasn't so gay that i would fall over and dramatically grab my face, but it was still hurting knowing that James did that. He headed for the window, but before he climbed out, he turned around slightly.
"You know, I spent some of the best times of my life in this room. And with you, my best friend. And, just all of that, now seems so fucked up! I can't help thinking that our whole friendship was nothing but a lie."
"What the hell...?"
"Is that it? Did you become friends with me because you were in love with me?"
I was so fucking shocked that, that was what he really thought of a friendship of 5 years that i couldn't speak. He took that as an answer.
"Just as well i decided to slap you, you faggot. Just what a bitch like you deserves." And he was gone.
Thank you for reading this three part series of Sebastian's secret. The next chapter will be up soon. If you liked it, please send me a little mail to ryanstories@yahoo.com