Search and Rescue

Yes, it really is Chapter 20.

I'll make an effort to be brief, though we all know how that usually ends up. First off, to everyone who's e-mailed me since the last chapter, I haven't forgotten you. I plan to get back to you all (cringing) soon. Most of you wanted to know whether the last installment was the end of not, and I didn't want to answer, because it gave me enough time to be a bit more of a slacker than usual. If you want the reason, blame DLS. I'm not sure exactly how it's his fault, but since it's always my fault when he's a slacker, I figure the logic must work both ways.

The friends I've made online have become too numerous to name at any given time, and for that, I'm eternally grateful. Particularly, those of you in the chatroom (and you know who you are) have become such a regular part of my life now, that I just can't imagine doing this anymore without you.

Do to a lot of prodding, I've managed (with a lot of help) to get a website up and going. It's a work in progress, but please feel free to check it out at matthewnhunter.homepage.com. I'll be doing more with it as time allows, so come back from time to time.

Oh, I do want to thank everybody who nominated and voted for me in the last Boy-Band Story Awards. Matt from "Search and Rescue" won "Best Original Character in a Serial Story." Okay, now that you guys have made me blush . . . I deeply appreciate it :)

The typical disclaimers apply. The whole "If you shouldn't--don't," etc. Beyond that, my love, as always, goes to Joshua.

And lastly, but most assuredly not least, SHMILY :)

Something violently resisted my urge to cough, so I strained my eyes open to see what it was. When the world finally came back into focus, it took me a minute to get my bearings. It looked like the suite in the intensive care unit. What was I doing here? The last thing I remembered was blacking out.

Then it dawned on me. I must have gone into respiratory arrest from the treatments. Bobby told me that that was a possible side effect, though I'd assumed he meant it would happen during the therapy. I guess I should have listened closer. Hell, I knew better anyway. Between the chemo and the radiation, my entire body was weak. If I'd needed proof of that, my every movement felt like I was pushing against a brick wall. Exhausted, I stopped fighting the restraints around my wrist.

I looked to the couch in the far corner and saw Nick passed out, his neck bent painfully back onto the cushions. Jessica's head was propped against his shoulder. I hadn't met her but once or twice, but the looks were hard to miss. Next to them were Drew and Curly, both of whom were using their arms as pillows on the hard table. I tried to get somebody's attention, but I could see out the window that it was before dawn.

I craned my neck back to see the monitor above my shoulder. It showed a normal sinus rhythm at 72 beats per minute. My blood pressure was 106/68. Respirations were an even 18 breaths per minute. My oxygen saturation was one hundred percent. Looking to the side, I saw an empty bottle of Diprivan. They'd apparently had me sedated, probably to keep me from fighting the ventilator I was still attached to. I saw on the ventilator that the settings indicated that they were weaning me because I was breathing more on my own. Looking across the room, I could see the latest results of my arterial blood gases on the board. I was breathing fine. In fact, I wondered why I was still on the ventilator at all. Somebody wasn't paying close enough attention.

I struggled vainly with the soft wrist restraints. Finally, I calmed down enough to think a little more clearly. My fingers were double-jointed, so I pushed hard enough against the mattress to bend my fingers back against the strap. It took me several minutes, but I managed to undo one of the cuffs. With my newly freed hand, I easily unbound the other. That still left these damnable tubes down my nose and throat.

Reaching behind me, I made sure the suction to my nasogastric tube was off, which it was. I pulled the pillowcase off the pillow and brought it to my nose. I yanked the thin tube out of my stomach via my nose and caught it with the linen to keep it from making a mess. I was winded from the exertion, and the ventilator alarmed. It must have done that a lot, because nobody stirred. I rested for a few minutes, until my breathing slowed back to normal.

I reached in the drawer over my other shoulder and pulled out a 10 cc syringe (it definitely helped knowing where everything was). I removed the needle and affixed the syringe on the end of the cuff of my endotracheal tube. I withdrew the air and deflated the cuff, allowing me to remove it from my throat. I coughed a few times, but I was able to reach over and cut the ventilator off before it made too much more noise.

Foolishly, I tried to stand up, my legs collapsing under my own weight. Finding myself hovering precariously between the edge of the bed and the couch, I grabbed the ET tube, still on the bed. I flung it at Nick, beaming him on the chin. He jerked awake with a start and looked at me. All he could do was smile and shake his head.

"Don't just sit there looking stupid," I tried to say, but my voice utterly failed me. So I waved him over instead. He gently laid Jessica's sleeping form onto the couch before walking over and scooping me up into his arms and setting me back on the bed.

"That was pretty dumb, you know?" he smiled.

"I know," I nodded silently.

It was several hours before I regained full use of my voice, and my muscles had undergone some atrophy from lack of use. I had lost a lot more weight. Luckily, the physical therapists or someone had done passive range of motion exercises on me; otherwise, I wouldn't have what little muscle strength I still possessed.

Everyone filled me in on the gist of what had happened. I had gone into respiratory arrest, as I'd thought. By sheer luck of timing, Nick and Drew and the guys had picked that day to come visit and check up on me. Their timing was impeccable, because from what I could ascertain, they'd walked in just moments after I'd passed out. They called the ambulance, and between the two of them, they'd performed rescue breathing before I was transported to the hospital.

"So how long have you guys been here?" I asked them.

"I've been here every few days," Justin answered. "Nick and Drew have been since the beginning."

Thinking back on how weak I was. "Exactly how long have I been out?"

"It's almost Christmas, if that tells you anything," came Justin's reply.

"I've been out that long?" I verified. "That's been months."

"At least your math skills haven't suffered," Nick laughed.

"Smartass," I grinned. "And you and Andy have been here all that time?"

"One of us has," Drew answered. "We kinda had to."

"I'm not following," I confessed.

"Duh," Nick smiled, mussing my hair. "We're your closest living relatives who are old enough to make decisions about your care. One of us had to be close by at the least."

"I'm so sorry."

"Matt, don't be ridiculous. It's not like you had any control over it," Drew cut in. "Besides, it's usually only been one of us. We didn't want both of us to be exhausted. Luckily, our schedule was lightening up, unlike Justin and the guys."

I turned to Justin for answers, because I was still lost. "What's he talking about, Curly?"

"One of us--JC, myself, Joey, Lance, or Chris has been flying back here after every concert so that someone would be here. The schedule got to be too much, and everything with the record label came to a head."

"Keep talking," I prodded, trying to understand.

"Well, things were already bad, as you know, but when JC demanded that they get one of us back here everyday, they pretty much had a conniption. They caved, though."

"Like they had a choice," Nick added. "They threatened to walk."

I looked at Justin with disbelief. "What the hell were you guys thinking? What if they'd let you walk?"

"Honestly?" Justin asked. "It would have saved us a lot of grief. As it stood, we almost worked ourselves to death, and the assholes kept pushing us harder and harder. Finally, we couldn't take it anymore, so we switched to Jive."

"What about TransCon?"

"Bastards filed a $150 million breach of contract suit," he answered solemnly.

"They wouldn't let you buy your way out of the contracts?" I wondered.

"Not likely," he responded. "We were too much of a gravy train to let go that easily. Besides, we didn't have that kind of money. That was kind of the point of wanting to get away in the first place. We worked our asses off, but when it was all said and done, we had dick to show for it."

"Why didn't you pay it?" I turned to Nick. "You've got access to my accounts."

"The same reason we didn't let you bail us out," Nick reminded me. "There was no quick fix for us, and there wasn't one for them."

"We didn't want that," Justin agreed. "If we'd just paid it, it would've been like we were admitting we were wrong. In the long run, I think publicizing our fight just won us more public opinion. Everyone got see just what we'd been dealing with."

"You're talking like it's past tense," I pointed out.

"It's done," he smiled. "The judge ruled in our favor, so I try not to talk about it at all."

"Thank God," I muttered, almost silently. "I'd hate to think I would have been responsible for that."

"You wouldn't have been," Justin reassured me. "JC did it for you. We did it for both of you. Ultimately, though, we all did it for ourselves. Besides, it all worked out for the better. It's gonna push our new album's release back a couple of months, but it'll be worth it. The first single's scheduled to come out next month."

"That's great," I grinned.

"Yeah," Justin smiled, "but I think you've probably talked to me all you care to, so why don't I go to the house and pick up loverboy?"

"He's at home?" I asked.

Justin nodded. "He's keeping the girls."

"What are they doing home?"

"Not too observant today, are we?" Nick grinned. "I believe we pointed out that it's almost Christmas. They're home for the holidays."

I gave Justin a nod, and he headed out the door. All of the talking must have worn me out, because in the middle of something Drew was saying, sleep overtook me. When I awoke a short while later, Nick and Drew had their heads rolled in slumber. Jessica was flipping through a magazine with Nick's head on her shoulder.

"Jessica, you're awfully quiet over there," I smiled.

"I didn't want to interrupt," she replied, walking over to give me a hug. "I'm so glad you're doing better."

"Has he been worrying over me?" I asked her, tilting my head towards Nick.

"Don't let the wisecracks fool you," she smiled. "He's been worried to death."

"I'm doing better, I think," I smiled.

"Indeed you are," Bobby announced, walking into the room.

"How much better?" I asked in disbelief.

"That depends," he said somberly. Glancing over his shoulder, he saw JC and the girls, Curly, Justin, and Jeff enter.

"DAD!" the girls yelled. Caitlin pounced on me, and Colleen sat on the edge of the bed. "We've missed you."

"I've missed you, too." I paused to hug them. "Have you two been behaving for JC and your cousins?"

"Yes, Dad," Caitlin sulked in true teenager fashion. I pulled them against me again, even tighter this time.

"Um, Dad?" Caitlin snorted in my ear.

"Yes, honey?"

"Is there any small way you could give us a little breathing room here?"

The whole room erupted in laughter. Smiling to myself and squeezing their hands, I panned the room and saw him. He stood in the doorway just watching me and smiling that smile of his. He looked haggard, though. Everything had obviously taken its toll. My mouth involuntary crooked into a smile, oblivious to what was being said around me. When our eyes met, he walked over to the bed and knelt by the floor after Colleen stood to make room.

Interlocking my fingers with his own, he lowered his head. He sat there motionless for a few seconds before taking a seat on the bed beside me. Leaning forward to kiss my forehead, he stopped to whisper into my ear. "I've prayed to God every minute of every day that you'd find your way back to me."

A tear welled in my eye. I kissed his cheek and whispered my reply, "It was easy. All I had to do was follow my heart."

"Can I finish?" grinned Bobby after clearing his throat.

Suddenly jolted back to the expression on his face, I was reminded of just how I got here. "The chemo and radiation didn't work, did they?" I asked.

"No," he answered flatly, "but that's the bad news."

Forcing myself to ask, "What's the good news?" I prepared for the worst.

"I've been saving this one for over a week until I got the biopsy results back to be sure. When I did get them back, we were already weaning you, so I wanted to wait until you were awake to hear it yourself," Bobby began gleefully.

"What are you telling me?" I asked again, not daring to believe the impression he was giving.

"It's in remission," he smiled broadly.

"What?" I repeated in shock.

"You've beaten it a second time."

"You're saying the cancer's gone?" JC verified, he, too, scared he was jumping to conclusions.

"No," Bobby corrected, "it's in remission. That's a subtle difference, but the cancer's never gone. Let's just say, though, that he'll be going home in a few more days."

Everyone leapt to their feet and surrounded me. Giving me reassuring squeezes, words of encouragement, hugs, kisses, and whatnot. I still thought something seemed too good to be true. "But . . . ," I began, barely able to formulate the words that I was sure would wake me from this dream--right back into the nightmare. "You said the chemo and radiation treatments didn't work."

"They didn't," Bobby said flatly.

"Bone marrow transplant?" I wondered aloud.

"No, though your friends did an admirable job of getting a tremendous number of new people on list. Unfortunately, we didn't find a match for you."

"Then how?"

"Stem cells," came his reply.

"Okay, I'm lost," JC confessed.

All I could manage was, "So am I."

"Somebody please explain," JC demanded frantically, obviously unnerved by the lack of answers, a sentiment not lost on myself.

"Bobby, with my medical history, there's no way I would have made it onto the list for a stem cell protocol."

"What the hell is a stem cell?" JC cut in again.

"Wait a minute, isn't that what they were taking out of dead babies?" Curly offered. I could see the looks on everyone's faces. "Not anymore," I told him. "Fetal tissue was one source, but that's pretty well unobtainable now."

"In answer to your question, JC," Bobby interjected, "a stem cell is a progenitor cell. It's a cell that can develop into any kind of cell in the body--nervous, muscular, blood, bone, . . . ."

"So it can be used in place of bone marrow?" JC interrupted.

"Yes, it can. As a matter of fact, it's used with greater success in many cases, because the cell is completely undifferentiated, able to be transferred from one person to the other with fewer complications of possible rejection seen with conventional transplantation."

"So I was given stem cells, and now I'm malignancy-free?" I ventured again, thoroughly dumbfounded by how easy it made it all sound.

"Yes," Bobby repeated with a smile, "but you're right, you weren't a candidate."

My patience was gone, and my curiosity was overwhelming. "Then where?"

"I've delivered my good news," he smiled, "I think I'll leave you to catch up with your friends."

Had I not been staring at him so intently, I might not have caught it, but as he said that last statement, he motioned to Jeff. "Jeff, why do I have you to thank?"

He just looked at me a second before smiling. "Will somebody . . . ," JC began, but a touch from my hand on his arm silenced his protests. Finally, Jeff cut in by handing me his wallet. Inside, the first picture showed a child no more than a year old.

"Her name's Alyssa," he told me proudly. "She'll be a year old next month."

"Your daughter?" JC tried to put the pieces together.

"Cord blood," I smiled at Jeff, finally understanding.

"Cord blood," Nick smiled over Jeff's shoulder.

Jeff could see the puzzled looks on everyone's faces. "As Nick, Drew, Justin, and Jessica know, my daughter was born about eleven months ago. She and her mother live at my house in Orange County."

"Congratulations," Curly offered.

"Congratulations, Jeff," JC said blankly before turning to me, eyebrows raised. "Cord blood?"

Smiling, I elaborated, "The umbilical cord has a vast supply of stem cells, and for several years now, many doctors are saving the blood from the umbilical cord as a potential harvest for research and treatments."

"So Jeff's daughter's umbilical cord blood was saved, and it was used for stem cells for you?" he asked, a glimmer of recognition finally emerging.

Jeff and I just nodded. "Guys, would you mind giving me a minute with Jeff?" I asked.

"No problem," Curly answered, leaping from his chair. "I'm tired of sleeping in hospital chairs. If you're gonna stay awake, I'm gonna go to the house for a decent night's sleep."

"Absolutely," I assured him, pulling him close for a hug and a kiss on the cheek. "Thanks for everything."

"You bet. See you tomorrow?"

"Not if I see you first," I grinned.

"He's fine," Justin smirked. "Let's go."

Proceeding through a similar routine with the other Justin, the girls, Jessica, Nick, and Drew, I found myself alone with Jeff after JC went down to the cafeteria for coffee and a stale bagel. "I haven't a clue what to say," I admitted to him.

"There's nothing to say," he assured me with a smile.

"You saved my life. I'd say that deserves more than a simple 'Thank You.'"

"First off, it was a group effort. It was Alyssa's cord blood, and her mother and I both agreed to use it, but Nick gave the doctors the go-ahead to try it. I'm just glad it worked out."

"Worked out," I repeated with a smile. "You make it sound like you took me to the airport or something. There's no way I could ever hope to repay you."

"You don't owe me anything, Matt. You're Nick and Drew's family, and they're family to me. Over the years that I've known you, you've become family as well."

"I know, Jeff, but . . . ."

"No buts. Let me ask you one question--if there was something within your power that could save my life, or for that matter, anyone's life, would you even have to think twice?"

I started to retaliate, but Jeff beat me to it. "I didn't think so," he smiled. Leaning over to kiss my cheek, "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Jeff?" I finally managed.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks. And not just for this. For everything."

"Anytime," he assured me with a smile before grabbing his coat and squeezing past JC in the doorway.

"Well?" JC posed.

"Well what?"

"You up for some company?" he grinned.

"Not really," I responded in kind, "but I'll guess I'll make an exception in your case."

He smiled, setting his coffee on the table and crawling into the bed next to me.

A few days later, I got to sleep in my own bed again. In retrospect, everything was too clean, like I took some easy way out. For anyone playing the numbers, I had been a dead man--again. I found myself on the verge of tears quite often, wondering why in the hell I was so special. Jeff had the misfortune of baby-sitting me during one such spell.

"What is it?" he asked, easily discerning the emotions on my face.

"Nothing," I tried to smile.

"You're lying," he smiled. "Try again."

"It's stupid," I smiled again, shaking my head.

"Try me," he raised his eyebrows. "I'm a pretty good listener. Kathy always used to say she loved that about me."

That brought a true smile to my face. Actually, laughter came with it.

"What?" he asked, trying not to laugh himself.

"You forget," I grinned. "I know Kathy's track record with men. She may have grown to love the fact that you're a good listener, but that chest had a lot more to do with the first impression."

"Hey!" he protested, his mouth on the floor. "There's more to me than my chest."

"No argument there," I giggled. "You've got a great ass, too."

"Okay, now I'm embarrassed," he blushed.

"So I see," I pointed out. "But that's okay, I still love you."

"I love you, too," he grinned, "and nice try."

"What?"

"Changing the subject," he said flatly. "You wanna answer my question now?"

"Shouldn't you be in California with that little girl of yours?" I posed, obviously trying to change the subject again.

"I'll get home to her soon, but right now, that boyfriend of yours has to be on the road. You know we're not gonna leave you alone this soon. It took everything we could muster to get him to leave you for forty-eight hours."

"I know," I chuckled. "You're all a bunch of mother-hens. I've got a clean bill of health, remember? Besides, you've got your own family to contend with now. I'll be fine until Nicky or Andy can get back."

"First off, I've already told you that you are family. Secondly, I offered to stay with you while they got some rest. Don't let their false bravado fool you. They've burned the candle at both ends for so long that they shouldn't even be able to stand."

"Let me guess," I began, seeing their faces so clearly, "Nick's exact words were 'I'm fine,' and Andy's were 'It's all good?'" He just smiled at me, letting me know that I'd pegged it on the head. I knew those two too well.

"Back to the question at hand . . . ," he cocked up one side of his mouth. Speaking of knowing somebody too well . . . .

"It's gonna sound dumb," I warned him.

"I practically live with your cousins," he beamed. "Need I say more?"

"Good point," I conceded. "It's silly, really. Twice now, the powers that be have seen fit to leave me on this earth, and for the life of me, I can't fathom why. I've always believed myself to be a good man, but not that good, nothing to warrant this many second chances."

"You're right," he said solemnly. I did a double-take at his lack of argument. "It does sound dumb," he laughed. "Why the hell do you think you need to earn a second chance at a life that was almost cut short too soon anyway?"

"I don't know," I admitted. "Occupational hazard, I guess. I see so many people who don't ever get the miracles that have happened to me, you being one of them."

He reddened at the praise. "Hell, I don't know. If there's some master plan to all of this, I'm not privy to it. We all just do the best with what we're given. We've both got kids that attest to that. My only answer is that you are a good man. You're a caring nurse, a loving father, and one of the best friends I could ask for. Exactly what more do you think is expected of you?"

"I don't know," I answered, suddenly humbled.

"Well, dwell on that tonight," he smiled, helping me rise so that we could both go to bed. "Besides, think about one thing."

"What's that?"

"Maybe JC's the one who's been living life right to get somebody like you and be able to hang onto you."

It was my turn to burn crimson. I gave him a hug, and kissed his cheek. "Goodnight." With that, I crawled under the sheets. Taking the phone from its cradle, I dialed the all-too-familiar number . . . .

"Are you sure you're up for this?" Justin asked me again.

"I'm fine, Curly, but thanks for asking," I smiled, looking around once more.

"Jeez, Matt, you got out of the hospital less than a week ago," he protested. "Do you really think anyone's expecting Christmas presents?"

"No," I admitted, "but they're getting them anyway."

"But you don't need to be doing this much this soon," he added.

"Justin, I'll be okay. Actually, I'll be better than okay, I'll live," I smiled. "I've been given a whole new lease on life again, and I intend to make every moment of it count." Truth be told, this was taking a lot out of me, but I couldn't let him see it. He was worried enough as it was, and JC threatened him within an inch of his life if anything happened to me. The only way I could get him to let me out of the house without him was if Justin came with me.

As we drudged our way through the mall, I'd been remarkably successful at finding the things I'd wanted to find. Of course, there wasn't all that much to do. While I was stuck in the hospital waiting to be discharged, the guys brought me my laptop, and I wore out my credit card on online auctions and catalog shopping. The girls were always the easiest, since I gave Kathy my credit card and let her go get them a lot of new clothes. I hated that I didn't pick them out, but Kathy just had this knack for getting them exactly the kinds of things they wanted.

The mall was definitely alive with the sights and sounds of the season. Most people detested last-minute shopping because of the crowds. I, on the other hand, was always one of those strange people who actually got more enjoyment as the elbow room got less. I guess I'd gotten my love of the holidays from my mother. Every year about this time, we'd go see Aunt Cate and brood in Ohio, or they'd come down. It was often plus or minus a few days, but we all were together every Christmastime.

I couldn't help but smile at all the decorations adorning practically every store. Traditional carols as well as newer, contemporary standards echoed from every speaker. The smells of eggnog and potpourri permeated the air. I loved it all, but what truly got my attention was the Santa Claus in the middle of everything, surrounded by hundreds of parents and children waiting to tell him exactly what was on their wish list. I must have stopped and stared a bit more wistfully than I'd intended, because Justin called me on it.

"Matt, what is it?"

I just smiled and shook my head. "Thinking back."

"To when the girls were that little?"

I nodded. "They got shuffled around to a lot of different people as they were growing up, basically to give me a chance to do the same thing. The one exception to that was Christmas. That was the one time of the year that we were almost a normal family."

"So what's wrong?" he asked. "You don't look like your reminiscing."

"Just wishing we could do Christmas this year," I half-smiled. "I hate to be breaking tradition."

"I thought we were doing the traditional Christmas thing."

"We're shopping," I smiled. "That's not exactly like getting together with all your family and friends around the tree and singing carols."

"So do that," he said simply.

"Put up a tree on Christmas Eve? Are you nuts?" I asked incredulously.

"Probably," he grinned. "I've been called worse. Besides, what's wrong with putting up a tree on Christmas Eve?"

"Besides the fact that we generally put it up about a month before Christmas?"

"So this year it'll be a day. I'm sure you can get a doctor's excuse."

I had to laugh. "The tree and presents are nice, but it's just not the same as getting everyone together."

"Fine," he sulked before reaching around me to grab the cell phone from my pocket. He found the speed-dial he wanted. "Hi, Aunt Cate, this Justin. I'm a friend of your nephew's, and he's awful down about not doing the holidays the way you guys usually do. Do you think . . . That sounds great.

We'll be looking forward to it."

"Justin, what . . . ." He covered my mouth with his hand to silence me as dialed the next number and put the phone to his ear. "Hey, Scoop, do me a favor. Call the guys, and ewwww!"

I smiled to myself. That had worked better than expected. I guess Curly wasn't expecting me to lick his hand. It accomplished what I wanted it to, that being getting his hand off my mouth.

"Never mind," he glared at me. "Anyway, call Joe and Chris and get them and yourself on a plane to Memphis on the twenty-sixth. We're gonna spend the time before the Hawaii concert here with Matt and JC." Justin was silent as he apparently listened to protests from Lance, who probably wanted to spend the time with his own family, and I couldn't really blame him. "I know, and all valid points. Now shut up and do it." I watched Justin's lips curl into a wicked smile. I'm guessing Lance could see it as well, just because he knew Justin so well, because I could hear him laughing into the phone and saying, "Okay, okay."

"Justin, what do you think . . . ." I was cut short by his hand over my mouth again. "And you caught me off-guard the last time. Lick away, cootie-boy." All I could do was roll my eyes in resignation. He lifted the phone to his ears one more as he smiled at me. "Granddad, I need a tree. Where can I get one this late?" He paused long enough for an answer. "Great. I'll be over tomorrow. Probably around lunch. Give Grandma my love."

He hung up my phone, slid it back into my pocket, and hooked his arms on his hips. "Now, fire away," he smiled.

"What the hell are you thinking?" I laughed.

"You wanted a family Christmas, so by God, that's what you're getting. You can thank me later."

"Thank you? I don't know whether to kiss you or strangle you."

"Do I get a vote?" he giggled.

"All of those people have their own families to spend the holidays with."

"And they are. They're all coming down the day after Christmas, so now you have them to spend the holidays with," he said in such a manner to let me know the discussion was closed. "By the way, we need to pick up the tree on the way home." All I could do was shrug my shoulders and continue on my merry way through the mall with an obviously-pleased-with-himself pop star in tow.

Finally letting my exhaustion get the better of me, I plopped down on a seat in the middle of the mall. Justin, still complete in glasses and baseball cap, followed suit. I reached over and grabbed his milkshake, taking a drink as he lodged his mock arguments. When a smile suddenly spread across my face, he could tell that his theatrics were not the cause. "Matt, what is it?"

"I think I found the perfect Christmas present for Josh," I replied, nodding in the general direction of the store that caught my eye. "Look what's in the display window."

He followed my line of sight, and a goofy grin was soon plastered on his own visage. "You're not serious," he smiled. My only reply was to grab his arm and drag him into the store behind me.

"I can't believe you want to do this now," JC complained as he passed Justin another box of decorations.

"Well, sorry," I grinned, "but it's kind of hard to trim a tree when you're stuck in a hospital bed."

"I guess," he grunted, "but we've been home a little while now. We definitely could have done it before Christmas day. At the very least, I could have had someone come in and decorate the place if your heart was that set on it."

"It wouldn't have been the same, and as for us doing it, would that have been before or after the concert you guys did in Orlando? Or better yet, would that have been before or after you had Christmas there with your family?"

"First of all, you are family. Secondly," he added, "might I remind you that you were there for both said concert and said family get-together?"

A smile cross my face. "I know, sweetie, and regardless of how it sounds, I'm not complaining. Christmas has always been a big deal in my house, first with my mom, then with the girls. Speaking of which, your folks went a little overboard with all of the stuff for them."

"Probably," he admitted, "but you gotta realize they're probably the only grandchildren they're getting out of me."

"'Probably?'" I raised an eyebrow. "You planning on doing something amazing?"

"You know what I mean," he glared at me.

Ducking behind Justin, "Yeah, I do." He smiled and pulled me around to him, kissing me quickly on the lips. "Besides, I want to have a Christmas that's just for us. Is that so much to ask?" I pouted.

"No," he sighed in capitulation, wrapping his arms around my waist. "I guess not."

"You 'guess not?'" I mocked teasingly.

"Try 'Of course it's not too much to ask, love of my life," Justin offered with a bemused grin.

"Thank you," I acknowledged with feigned seriousness. "See? Curly knows how to be a supportive boyfriend."

"I didn't say all that now," he chuckled, "but it's not hard to do better than goofball over there."

"Drama queens, the whole lot of you," JC exclaimed with a grin.

Noting that we'd pulled all of the boxes from the attic, I motioned towards the door. "Shall we, Your Highness?" I asked Justin.

"We shall, Your Majesty," he grinned at me.

JC and Justin were hanging one strand of lights while I worked on untangling another. "Thanks again for being here, Justin," I smiled as he fumbled through the box for a replacement bulb.

"Not a problem," he grinned. "While we were in Orlando, I did Christmas with my folks--all of them," he added with a smile and a roll of the eyes. "Plus, it gives me a chance to spend the holidays with my grandparents before we have to head to Hawaii for our New Year's concert."

"Well, thanks anyway," I reiterated with an annoyed look. "It's sweet of you and all the guys to spend part of what little time off you all get with me."

"Please," Justin smiled drolly, "we get to spend the holidays with our families, then come here, get more presents, and then go to Hawaii for almost a week--oh yeah, there's a sacrifice."

"So you're using me for the presents?" I asked with false hurt.

"Yup," Justin beamed.

"Not me," JC grinned. "I'm using you for the sex."

"Well, that's okay," I smiled, leaning across the box the kiss him.

"Besides," Justin whispered in my ear once JC's back was again turned, "I wouldn't have missed you giving him his present for the world."

"Shh," I smiled, kissing his cheek. About that time, Nick, Drew, and the guys appeared on the television screen singing the single off their new Christmas CD. I had specifically put it on that channel so that I could see them.

"I'm sorry they couldn't be here," JC offered sympathetically from his crevice behind the tree. "I know you would like them to be."

"I would," I confessed, "but they're here in their own way."

"Huh?" he asked blankly.

"Close your mouth before you attract flies," I smiled, "and stop saying that. When it comes out of your mouth, it makes you sound dumb." He stuck out his tongue at me. "Oh, stop pouting and come see if you can get this strand untangled."

"Oh, so first you insult me, but now you want your big, strong boyfriend to come save the day?"

"Something like that," I rolled my eyes.

"At least you'll do until that 'big, strong boyfriend' comes along," Justin added helpfully.

"Good one, Curly," I congratulated.

"Fuck you," JC smiled at me.

"You have," I offered.

"And fuck you," he smiled at Justin.

"You haven't and won't," Justin smiled.

JC just shook his head and intently tried to untangle the light strand while I rummaged through the box some more.

"Oh, look--mistletoe," I chirped, hoisting the plant above JC and myself.

"Oh, no," he protested. "I know you don't think you're getting any after that last . . . ." His words trailed off when he saw what impeded his progress in deknotting the green wiring. The timing couldn't have been better . . . .

"And now, we'd like to sing another song. One with a very special dedication," Nick's voice practically glowed from the parade in New York. "Two very important people in our life have been together several months now, and one of them wants to ask the other something. Hopefully, we can help get the message across."

The tune was instantly recognizable, and suddenly, thousands upon thousands of strangers became well-wishers. Nick's smile was brighter than I'd ever seen it as the words began. "All I am. All I'll be. Everything in this world, all that I'll ever need is in your eyes, shining at me. When you smile I can feel all my passion unfolding. Your hand brushes mine, and a thousand sensations seduce me cause I . . . I do cherish you. For the rest of my life, you don't have to think twice. I will love you still. From the depths of my soul, it's beyond my control. I've waited so long to say this to you, if you're asking do I love you this much, I do."

JC just stared blankly, shifting his gaze between me and the band of gold between his fingers. "Does this . . . ? Are you . . . ?"

Kneeling on one knee, I took his hand in mine and lifted his chin so that his eyes met mine. "Yes, it does, and yes, I am. Josh, will you marry me?"

"In my world, before you, lived outside my emotions, didn't know where I was going till that day I found you. How you opened my life to a new paradise. In a world torn by change, still with all my heart, till my dying day, I do cherish you. For the rest of my life, you don't have to think twice. I will love you still. From the depths of my soul, it's beyond my control. I've waited so long to say this to you, if you're asking do I love you this much, yes, I do. I do. If you're asking do I love you this much, baby, I do cherish you. From the depths of my soul, it's beyond my control.

I've waited so long to say this to you, if you're asking do I love you this much, baby, I do."

He stared back at the ring, more in disbelief and amazement than doubt or deliberation. "Yes," he barely managed before locking his lips to mine and pushing me to the carpet behind me, in front of the roaring flames of the fireplace.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Justin sliding on his jacket and grabbing my keys. He smiled at me. "Think I'll go see the grandparents. Oh," he added with a turn on his way out the door, "think I'll call Kathy and tell her to keep the girls a while longer."

TO BE CONTINUED . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

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