CHAPTER NINETEEN
Well, despite my slacking tendencies, I finally managed to get this part done, thanks in no small part to the constant nagging, I mean "encouragement," of a lot of great friends. This installment is dedicated to them, as well as all of you who've taken the time to read my humble efforts. That being said, I'll keep this very brief.
First off, there are so many wonderful people who make this such a joy. I could never hope to individually name them all, but I sincerely hope they know how much they mean to me. There are a few, however, who warrant some individual attention, and some who just require constant psychiatric supervision. It's those guys and gals who make this fun.
I must sent a shout-out to the very talented Mike Ellis ("Studio in the Country"). He's got me involved in the editorial process of a new story of his, "Love is Blind." It's a fantastic little story that's very near and dear to my heart. Then, there's one of my favorite Canucks, known far and wide as Sprout. Besides being an absolute cutie, he's a sweetheart and a wonderful up-and-coming author in his own right ("This Gift"). Then, there's a thoroughly untalented guy who I hang around with for a lack of anything better to do. If you're similarly bored, you might say hello to him if you see him online--look for Goreckii grin. In seriousness, he's hilarious, slightly intelligent, and a hottie :) All in all, worth the effort of getting to know, but don't tell him I said so (but do tell him I said he's a hottie--he hates that :) To all of the rest of you, you all mean the world of me, and if I haven't told you lately, feel free to cut and paste and reminder.
Saving the best for last, it's always DLS. A fantastic writer, my closest friend in the world, and one of the few truly great things in life I've had the pleasure of knowing. I hope he knows that there's nothing more to say, because the words fail me. SHMILY, punk'n :)
I've been writing this story for almost a year now. I've enjoyed every moment, and I hope you have to. This chapter has a few surprises, so I hope you'll enjoy the ride. I omitted a little bit that would have given away some plot twists from "Brian & Me," so be sure and check it out in the weeks to come to see what you missed :)
The same rules apply as the last eighteen chapters, so enjoy.......................
My eyes fluttered open, and I saw him, his angelic face, sleeping soundly before me. It was never a question of loving him, that was a given, but after I heard, or rather, knew, how much he cared for me, I loved everything about him. A tear streaked down my face and caught itself in my pillowcase.
I chuckled to myself, thinking what a sentimental sap I was becoming. But when I looked at him again, I just didn't care. Smiling to myself, I realized that I had never been in love before. I'd never even come close.
I just marveled in how much more beautiful he now seemed to me. The long eyelashes, the slightly oversized nose, the crooked smile--all of it screamed to deepest parts of me. I inched closer to him, taking the back of my hand and stroking it down his naked thigh. He giggled and jerked it closer to him. I pulled the sheets over both of us, because I was as cold as he was. After all, the air conditioning blowing directly over the dried sweat on our skin was about to give us both pneumonia.
"Morning," I greeted, ecstatically leaning over to kiss his closed eyes before their crystal blue tint stole my strength.
"Hey," he greeted, leaning over to kiss me back, this time pushing himself on top of me. He slid his tongue past my lips, and I welcomed him fully, first grabbing his head, then sliding my hands down his back and squeezing his butt. He moaned, lifting his leg from between mine and bringing his knee to rest beside my waist. His abdominal wall involuntarily contracted at my touch, and the rhythmic motion pushed his groin into my own. That little surge of electricity did it.
I bolted up right, grabbing the sides of his face and kissing him for all I was worth. The abrupt shifts in weight and balance pinned him under me, and he could barely stifle his grin when he noticed that our positions had reversed.
"Hey, guys, . . . ," a male voice called from the door as the door opened. Tyler walked in before JC or I could cover ourselves. "Oh, sorry," he burned with embarrassment before rocketing out the door.
I had such a stunned look on my face, JC just started laughing uncontrollably, pulling me onto him and hugging me tightly as I joined him in hysterics. "Do you think we scarred him for life?" I laughed.
"Probably," he smiled. "But then again, he wasn't exactly the normal one in the family anyway."
"And he needs to learn to knock," I added.
"Unless the little horn-dog wants to watch," he laughed.
"That's just gross," I rolled my eyes.
"As long as I'm the only Chasez you're going for," JC cocked an eyebrow.
"I don't know, Heather's kinda cute," I teased.
"Now, that's gross," he smiled, sticking his tongue out at me. I took him up on the invitation . . . .
Some time later, I pulled the sheet over his exhausted form and kissed his sleeping forehead before sliding on my running clothes. I slid quietly to the kitchen, only to find Roy standing at the sink, looking into the backyard.
"Mr. Chasez?" I tenuously greeted.
"I told you," he smiled, turning to face me, "it's Roy."
I smiled and nodded. "What are you doing up so early?"
"Habit, I guess," he flatly acknowledged. "Though, in truth, I have some difficulty sleeping in strange beds."
"I know what you mean," I chuckled.
"I take it my son doesn't have that problem?" he asked, instantly catapulting me on the defensive. Apparently, the look on my face spoke volumes, because he quickly added, "Don't misunderstand, Matt. I was referring to the fact that he's on the road all of the time. If he couldn't sleep in strange beds, he'd be dead by now from exhaustion."
"Sorry," I muttered barely audibly. "Guess I'm a little on edge."
"I'm sure," he smiled briefly. "I'm sorry to say that I'm probably the chief one responsible for that."
"I'm not one for pretenses, Roy," I admitted, "yeah, your bit in the car, well, pissed me off."
"Tell me how you really feel," he chuckled.
"I'm doing exactly that," I said solemnly. "I nearly destroyed things between your son and I before they got started because I wasn't honest with him. I won't that mistake. Not again."
"Glad to hear it," he said flatly, sipping his coffee. "Please don't take it the wrong way."
"How should I take it?" I asked, visibly irritated.
"As a concerned father," he answered, catching me off guard. I felt like I'd been sucker-punched. He'd just hit the one spot where I was most vulnerable.
"I'm listening," I said coolly.
"I want to apologize," he said simply.
I shook my head to indicate that I wasn't making the connection. "Don't get me wrong," he quickly amended. "I'd do it again, even though I know it isn't fair to you."
"I'm really confused now," I sighed.
"I did what I did not to attack you, but to protect my son. As a parent yourself, you have an understanding of that which Craig never possessed. You know what it's like to be willing to do anything to protect your child from harm."
"Yes, I do," I whispered with clarity.
"I just don't want him hurt," he said to me with pleading eyes.
"Me, either," I acknowledged, "and it scares me to death that I just might.
To risk him shutting off even a portion of the love that's in his heart is something that I have to live with." I sighed, my shoulders sagging. "I don't know that I could live with myself, pardon the pun, if I do hurt him."
JC came in about that time and stepped between Roy and me. "What the hell did you say to him?" he demanded of his father.
"Nothing, baby," I smiled, pulling him into a hug. "I'm just having my morning breakdown of the day. He was just here."
"Are you sure?" he asked, squeezing me tightly.
"Positive," I nodded.
Roy dumped out the remaining contents of his coffee mug in the sink and rinsed it. He set it on the counter and started to walk past us, stopping only long enough to kiss JC on the forehead and give my shoulder a reassuring squeeze.
"Come on," he whispered, rubbing my belly and nibbling on my ear, "let's go back to bed for a while."
"Are you guys decent?" I heard from the other side of the door.
I smiled to myself and pulled the sheet over JC, who was asleep against my chest. "As good as it's gonna get, Tyler, come on in."
"Still asleep?" he asked. "It's the middle of the afternoon."
"You know your brother," I grinned. "Did you need something?"
"Nah," he laughed. "Just came in to see if you two were gonna grace us with your presence today."
"Maybe," I chuckled.
"You better," Heather announced as she came in. "It's all Dad can do to keep Mom from bursting in on you both."
"She might see something she doesn't want to," JC said groggily, his eyes still shut.
"Really?" Heather raised an eyebrow as she started to lift the sheet at my waist. JC quickly grabbed it and swatted her hand away.
"Hands off the merchandise," he smiled.
"I feel so cheap," I feigned.
"And used," JC musingly offered.
"Hey, are you guys in here having fun while you leave me with the grown-ups?" Justin joked as he jumped onto the bed.
"Um, I could have sworn Grand Central Station was in New York," I announced. "Everyone who isn't naked, get out!"
Justin and Tyler immediately started to remove their shirts.
"Everyone who hasn't slept with Matt, get out!" JC laughed.
Justin started to remove his pants with a grin.
"Everybody whose hair color isn't the one they have all over their body get out!" I laughed. Justin grinned, held his head in defeat, and followed Tyler and Heather out.
"Think we should get up?" JC asked me.
"They're your parents. You tell me," I smiled.
"We better go," he grinned.
"We should probably get dressed first," I smiled.
"Good idea, funny man," he smiled. "You first, I'll watch."
"Is everyone in your family a voyeur?" I giggled.
"God, I hope not," he scrunched his nose.
"JOSH WON'T LET GO OF MY BALLS!" Tyler whined.
I just shook my head. I knew playing miniature golf was gonna wind up with some comment like that. The only question was who was gonna make it. I tried to ignore it by taking a sip of JC's drink.
"Dad, aren't you gonna deal with these two?" Heather grinned.
"Actually," Roy smiled, "I figure Matt would have the most to say about JC grabbing someone else's balls."
Okay, there was no way in Hell I was ready for that one. Dr. Pepper started shooting out my nose, and I almost aspirated. I doubled over on the ground trying desperately to catch my breath. JC was right next to me trying to make sure I was okay. Roy was obviously very pleased with himself for the zinger. Karen, on the other hand, looked mortified but tried to act nonchalant. Heather, Tyler, and Justin were on the ground beside me--not checking on me, but laughing so hysterically that they were having as difficult a time breathing as I was. Once he realized I was okay, everything sunk in for JC, and if there was any possible way to die of embarrassment, I was certain I was about to witness it firsthand.
"Shall we, dear?" Roy grinned, placing his putter under one arm and extended a crooked arm to Karen, who just rolled her eyes at him as she took it, following him to the next hole.
Tyler grabbed my shoulders and leaned into one ear. "If there was ever any doubt you were a part of the family, I'd say it's gone now."
I leaned back and quickly kissed his cheek. "Thanks."
He nodded, and he, Heather, and Justin mimicked the Chasez elders, only adding a skip and singing "We're off the see the wizard." I watched Justin keep in step with the others easily, silently remarking to myself how well he was moving in his cast. It definitely wouldn't need to be on long. At this rate, they'd be back on tour in no time. Then, the ramifications of that thought seeped in.
"What is it, sweetie?" JC asked when an errant glance caught the look on my face.
"Just thinking," I tried to smile.
"So I gathered. It's apparently what you were thinking that should concern me."
"Nothing bad," I smiled. "Not really, anyway."
"You wanna talk about it?" he asked. I started to say "no," but then he looked at me with those puppy-dog eyes. Combining that with that little voice in my head telling me not to keep anything from him, I melted.
"Yeah, sweetie, I do," I smiled, daring to take his hand for just a moment before we walked over to one of the concrete benches far off the beaten path. He straddled the bench to look directly at me, so I did the same. "I was just thinking how well Justin's getting around."
"That look was for that?" he asked with wonder.
"I was thinking that he'd probably have that cast off much sooner than expected," I continued.
"And how soon we'd probably have to go back on the road," he finished with realization.
"Yeah," I muttered in acknowledgment.
"There's not some reason other than the obvious why you ask that, is there?"
I looked at him in puzzlement. "What do you mean?"
"Never mind," he smiled. "My mind's wandering in a hundred directions." He took my hand and pressed it to his lips.
"Will you be careful?" I smiled, jerking my hand away. "I'm not in the mood for anyone to crawl out of the woodwork with pictures of us."
"Ooh, scrapbook," he giggled. "Besides, we weren't exactly doing the same thing they were when someone decided to play private dick."
I laughed, "You just wanted to say 'private dick,' didn't you?"
"Absolutely," he grinned, leaning over to kiss me. My reservations were replaced by abandonment. I pulled him into my arms and kissed him exactly how I wanted to, onlookers be damned.
"That's much better," I smiled.
"I agree," he added, stroking the inside of my thigh through the leg of my shots.
"I guess I'm just not looking forward to your leaving," I admitted.
"I'll be back," he assured me.
"I know, Arnold," I smiled. I got unexpectedly pensive and told him exactly what I was feeling. "I've just found you, and I'm just afraid that you'll walk out the door and I'll lose you."
"That's absurd."
"Is it?" I posed. "What could I possibly have to offer someone like you?"
"'Someone like me'?" he echoed. "Start explaining before I fly off the handle."
"Sorry," I hung my head. "That didn't come out right."
"Just talk to me, baby," he told me, leaning in to press his forehead to mine. "I want to know what doubts you have so I can make them all go away."
Something about that last statement and the sincerity in his voice hit me like a sledgehammer. I quickly sniffed to keep from sniveling. I'd shed way too many tears lately.
"Track record, I guess," I tried to smile.
"I'm not Rich, and I'm not your father," he said flatly. "I'm the man who's hopelessly in love with you and can think of nothing he'd rather do than put his head on your chest and listen to your heart beat for every second of the rest of my life."
"Is that really enough for you?" I asked him, trying desperately not to lose my composure. "I don't want you to lose a single opportunity. You have an amazing gift, and I don't want you squandering it by 'settling' for me. The door might not open a second time."
"The only door I'm concerned with is the one I'll be walking through every chance I get--so I can come home to you," he said, placing particular influence on the word "home." "I'm not giving up anything. If anything, I have more in my life than any one man deserves."
"I just don't want you to sacrifice anything for me, especially not to take care of some bedridden invalid who'll be robbing you of the best years of your life."
"The best years of my life are any that I can spend with you," he smiled, giving my hand a reassuring squeeze.
I could see through the smile, though. Even now, he was very uncomfortable when I talked about the prospect of death. Sensing this, I just hung my head and let the topic of conversation drop. The last thing I needed was to do this to him right now, especially with his family here. He brushed his fingers through my hair softly until I finally suggested that we rejoin the others. We'd barely turned the corner before I saw Justin trying to slip off unnoticed.
"Why don't you go on ahead?" I told JC. "I'll catch up."
I subtly motioned towards the bathroom Justin was slipping into. JC just nodded and went ahead without me. I walked into the bathroom, where Justin was standing in front of a urinal.
"Give it up, Curly," I smiled.
"You know, Matt, considering that you and I have slept together AND you threw me out of your bed today, do you really feel you have to resort to taking advantage of me in a public bathroom," he said without turning around, though I could hear the smile in his voice.
"And do you think playing with yourself is gonna be enough to distract me from asking you what you were doing spying on us?" I grinned.
He turned around, embarrassed, though as expected, his fly was still fastened. "Caught, huh?" he asked me.
"Yup," I cocked one side of my mouth up in a grin. "So?"
"So what?" he smiled. "I wasn't eavesdropping."
"Then what were you doing?"
"Standing guard," he grinned, leaning up against the sink.
"Against what?" I wondered aloud.
"I was just standing there to make sure no one bothered you two. It kind of looked like you needed your privacy. I didn't hear a thing, honest," he explained sincerely.
I leaned forward to kiss his forehead. Tyler happened upon us about that time. "Okay," he laughed, "I definitely did not need to witness that. I'm gonna have to ask you both to leave."
Justin and I just rolled our eyes and started out the door, but not before Justin gave Tyler's butt a big squeeze.
"Justin!" Tyler growled without missing a beat.
"What? I'm one of the straight ones here. Why don't you think it's Matt?" Justin tried to ask solemnly.
"Because you've grabbed my ass before," Tyler grinned.
"Oh, really?" I smiled at Justin. His response was to push me out the door.
"Let's leave TJ alone," he smirked.
"Apparently, I should be telling you that," I grinned behind me. Justin just growled and nudged us both out of the bathroom entirely.
I caught up with JC, while Justin hopped past us to catch up with the others. I looked around and realized that everyone else in the place had pretty much deserted us to the late hour. There was one family on the last hole, but it looked like the older kid was already turning in his putter and heading for the car.
JC was muttering obscenities under his breath as his ball hurdled past the hole and down the incline. "What's the matter, sweetie?" I grinned as I dropped my ball onto the green and putted it directly in without missing a beat.
He glared at me as he walked over to his ball. "Why are you so good at this?"
"I dunno," I confessed. "Why are you good at hackey-sack?"
"I'm not. I just like doing it."
"You're better than Lance and Joey," I smiled.
"Yeah, that's hard," he grinned. "And when did you see us playing hackey-sack?"
"A while back. You had fallen asleep, and Kevin and I saw you guys on television."
"Oh, really?"
"Really," I grinned.
He walked up to me and put his hands in my back pockets, pulling me close. "And what were you doing watching television with one of the 'Sexiest Men Alive?'" he taunted.
"Dreaming about how great it would be to be in love with one of the guys on that screen. The real 'Sexiest Man Alive,'" I smiled.
"Good answer," he smiled back, leaning in to kiss me.
"I thought so. So what do you think my chances with Justin are?" I teased, barely containing my giggle.
He cocked an eyebrow. "Probably better than your chances with me, right now."
"Ahem," I coughed. "Why don't I show you what you're doing wrong?"
"I think I've figured it out," he smiled. "I've got lousy taste in men."
I raised my eyebrow at him. "I meant your swing."
"Me, too," he grinned.
"I meant your golf swing," I tried not to laugh.
"Oh, that," he smiled.
I just shook my head and stepped behind him, pressing my hips against his and running my hands down his arms to his hands. I wrapped my fingers around his hands and pressed my lips on the back of his neck. "Grip the putter firmly," I breathed into his ear. "Visualize the ball going where you want it to." With that, I placed one hand under his shirt tail and trailed my nails across his washboard. "Imagine the stroke it's gonna take to get it there," I whispered, trailing my fingers down the front of his shorts. I smiled to myself, because the angle at which we were standing would make it impossible to discern what we were doing. "Pull back," I instructed, using the one hand to guide his own while the other vanished beneath his basket, "and follow through." The minute the putter connected, I gave JC a squeeze. We both watched in utter amazement as the ball actually went in the hole. He looked over his shoulder with a smile and kissed me.
"Hey, get a room!" Heather chided us.
"I've got one," I assured her. "Many of them, as a matter of fact. Unfortunately, everyone feels the need to be in the one we're in at any given moment."
"Whatever," she spat sarcastically. "You know Mom's gonna stroke if she sees you two like this."
"She should have seen us like TJ did this morning," JC grinned.
"Gross," Heather gagged, as Justin and Tyler walked up behind her.
"What's gross about it?" I smiled.
"He's my brother!" Heather grimaced.
"But Matt's not," Tyler smiled, "and from the looks of things, I know why Josh always has that stupid grin on his face."
My jaw fell slack with amazement. JC was equally robbed of words. Justin and Heather, however, were not. The both smacked the back of Tyler's head and echoed in unison, "Thanks for sharing!"
"Let's go inside," I glared at Tyler. JC just laughed, took my hand, and followed me inside with the others.
After a few video games of the latest carnage du jour, I opted for the ski-ball lanes. I smiled and motioned for JC to follow my gaze to where Justin and Heather were sitting. Justin leaned over to lick Heather's ice cream cone, but she quickly pushed it into his face, covering his nose. He just laughed, and Heather reached over to wipe his nose with her finger. She brought it back to her lips and licked them clean before reaching for him again. He was looking down at where it had dripped onto his shirt, and when he lifted his gaze, her fingers brushed his lips. Their eyes lingered on one another for a moment too long before they both turned away with a sudden schoolgirl embarrassment.
"Looks like the beginnings of something," I commented.
"I hope so," JC smiled.
I leaned over and grabbed one of the wooden balls and hurled it down the lane and into the center hole. JC just sulked. "Is there anything you're not good at?"
"Plenty," I laughed. "But I thought you might like a ski-ball lesson, too."
His eyes brightened, but the moment was cut short when Tyler draped an arm over each of our shoulders. "Oh, hell no! I don't think I can stomach another lesson."
"Funny," I grinned. "His stomach was the last organ on my mind."
"That's just gross," Tyler made a face before shivering and walking away.
"I have a better idea," JC suggested.
"That being?"
"Let's go back to the house, and we'll see what kind of lessons I can give you."
I grinned. "Sounds like a plan to me."
I decided to put on a pot of coffee while everyone was visiting. I turned to grab a filter from above the stove when I bumped into Roy. "You sure your Josh's father and not Kevin's?" I asked with a bemused smile.
"What?" he asked me.
"Nothing," I shook my head. "Inside joke, I guess. Can I get you something?"
"No," he smiled. "I just came in to get a glass of water until the coffee's ready."
I reached into the fridge and grabbed one of the bottles of water I kept for when I went running. I handed him the bottle as I pressed the button on the coffee-maker to get it started.
"Thanks," he said.
"Sure," I said absentmindedly, sealing the unused coffee back in its canister.
"Not for the water," he corrected. I raised an eyebrow and motioned for him to take a seat. I took the one across from him. "I was watching you two tonight."
I suddenly became very self-conscious, and my face blazed crimson. "Roy, . . . ," I stammered.
"Relax," he chuckled. "I thought it was cute."
I blushed even deeper, and his chuckles just grew louder. "Never in my life have I seen him so content as he was tonight. All the stress, all the worries, all the doubts, all the fears--they seem to vanish when he's around you."
Despite my embarrassment, I couldn't help but smile at his words. "That's it," Roy said.
Shaking back to reality, all I could manage was a "Huh?"
"That look," he grinned.
"I'm confused," I admitted.
"All I have to do is mention your name, and he smiles, the way you did just now. Just the thought of you makes him happy."
"I love him just as much, if not more," I assured him.
"I know," he smiled, "and that's good to know. I wouldn't leave my son with you if I thought otherwise, even for a second."
Listening to his tone, a thought occurred to me. "You guys are leaving?"
"Yeah," he nodded. "I've decided we'll head home tomorrow."
"So soon?" I asked.
He just nodded. "I need to get back to the office, and to be blunt, I only came to make sure my son was in good hands. I see that he is, so there's no reason to hang around and interrupt what little time you two will have alone together."
I smiled at him, not really having any comment. He gave my shoulder a squeeze and went back into the living room. I got up and fixed myself a cup of coffee and stared out the window when JC came in. He slipped quietly behind me and rested his chin on my shoulder as he wrapped his arms around my waist. "You okay?" he asked me.
"Yeah," I smiled, leaning back to kiss him. "I just hate your family's leaving so soon."
"Dad just told us," he nodded.
"It's kind of nice having a family around," I grinned. "I've never really had the girls around full time, so it's usually just me."
"Do you ever get lonely?"
"No," I shook my head, "or at least I didn't think I did, though having you here with me now makes me realize otherwise in retrospect."
"I'm sorry," he pouted.
"It's not your fault," I assured him.
"Yes, it is."
"How so?"
"I didn't find you sooner," he smiled, spinning me around to kiss him.
"Good answer, Mr. Chasez," I giggled.
"Thank you, Mr. Hunter," he grinned from ear to ear. "So what kind of prize do I get?"
"Please don't answer that," Justin grinned from the doorway. "My virgin ears couldn't take it."
"There's not a lot about you that's virgin, Curly," JC chuckled, "and I don't think you want to be taking anything into what is."
"That's just gross," Justin tried to smirk without laughing, though failing miserably.
"Okay, that does it," I threatened teasingly, as I grabbed Justin by the front of his shirt.
"And what are you gonna do about it?" he mocked.
"What are you gonna do about it?" I returned. "I'm obviously not the one with repressed sexual tension."
"Please, you know you want me," he sighed breathlessly as he went into a pose-down.
"I know how we can settle this," JC chimed in.
"That being?" I asked.
"Poker," he smiled. "Strip poker."
I just raised a questioning eyebrow at him. "Why?"
"He obviously feels he has something to prove," JC laughed. "Besides," he grinned, "I bet we could get Heather and Tyler to play. Let's see if he can walk the walk."
I finally followed his idea and started nodding. "Sounds like a good idea.
We can ask them after the old folks go to bed."
"Ask us what?" Heather wondered immediately when she entered with her brother in tow.
"If you wanted to play . . . cards," JC immediately covered when he saw his parents waving goodnight to us on their way to bed.
"What kind of cards?" Tyler asked cautiously.
"Poker," I offered.
"Strip poker," Justin corrected.
"So what's in it for us?" Tyler asked. "There's NOBODY here I want to see naked."
"Fine," Justin pouted. "If you're feeling inadequate . . . ."
"That really shouldn't work on me," Tyler frowned.
"But it is?" I asked.
"Uh-huh," he smirked. "What about you, sis?"
"I'm sure we can find something to keep her occupied," JC grinned, pushing them both into the living room.
"Do we really wanna do this with mom and dad so close?" Tyler asked.
I just shook my head. "That's what these are for," I chuckled, pulling the divider doors shut and locking them.
"Who's dealing?" Justin asked.
"I am," I announced, snatching the cards from his hand and proceeding to shuffle.
"Where did you learn to do that?" JC asked as he watched me.
"Do what?" I asked. "I'm shuffling the cards."
"No," Justin grinned, "I shuffle cards. You're dealing like a cardsharp."
I just smiled. "Mom's older brother was a dealer in Vegas. He taught me how to play."
"Why do I get the feeling the odds just shifted out of our favor?" JC asked.
"With you, sweetie, if you're taking off clothes, I'll definitely be shifting in your favor," I smiled at him.
Justin and Tyler shared a look that almost tore away what little composure I had at the moment. "Deal, Romeo," Tyler instructed.
I shook my head and dealt as I had been told to do. "Nothing's wild. Jacks or better."
"Damn, you are such a hardass," JC muttered.
"If anyone would know," Justin giggled.
I cut him a look, and he buried his face behind the cards as we began to play the first hand. After a couple of hours, all of the guys were down to their underwear except for me. I had only lost my shirt--literally. Heather had only lost her shirt as well, still clad in her bra and pants.
It came down to Justin, Tyler, and Heather. JC and I had bowed out. Heather took it easily with a full house. I don't know where she learned to play cards, but I definitely needed to find out. With that, Tyler dropped trou without a moment's hesitation. I was about to laugh my ass off. Justin was astounded. "How can you do that so nonchalantly?"
"Easy," Tyler smiled. "I'm related to two of the people here, and unless my brother's not doing something right, Matt's not interested. That just leaves you, and you already pinch my ass."
"Alright, Curly, put up or shut up," JC grinned.
Justin was sweating, and it was obvious. Heather was blushing for him. "Well, Curly, there's one way out of this."
"I'm scared," he glared at me. "But go ahead."
"Truth or dare," I answered with a smile.
"Now I'm really scared. Nothing perverted, okay?"
"Deal," JC answered for me.
"What do I have to do?" he asked cautiously. "Because I get the distinct impression you're not gonna let me off with a truth."
"Smart boy," I grinned. "Nothing major, just a kiss."
"Who've I got to kiss? You?"
"That's not a bad idea," JC raised his eyebrows.
I raised my own questioning eyebrow at JC, who merely looked at me with his tight grin firmly in place. "Okay, smart guy," I laughed, poking JC in the stomach. Turning my attentions towards Justin once more. "Four kisses."
"Huh?" Justin asked rather noneloquently.
"Four kisses. One with everyone sitting here right now."
"And not pecks on the cheek, either," JC added. "Each of them needs to be at least thirty seconds . . . ."
"A minute," I corrected.
"A minute," he smiled. "And you have to do it like you mean it or it doesn't count."
"There's no way out of this?" Justin asked, biting the inside of his jaw.
"There's one way," I reminded him, reaching over and grabbing the fly of his pants. He quickly swatted my hand away.
"What's your interest in all this?" Justin asked suspiciously. "You've seen me naked."
"It's all a part of a master plan," I beamed.
"You and JC trying to get me to switch teams?" Justin chuckled.
"Not exactly," JC guffawed. "Now stop asking questions and kiss somebo...."
JC didn't even get it out of his mouth. It probably had a lot to do with the fact that Justin's tongue was preventing its escape. At first JC's eyes shot wide open, but they soon relaxed into closure, just like Justin's. I had to admit, I was captivated watching these two. As they kissed, their closeness showed. After about a minute, however, a twinge of jealousy reared its ugly head, and I separated the two of them, only to pounce on JC myself.
"To remind you who you're sleeping with tonight," I smiled.
"No reminders necessary," he returned, before tackling me.
"My turn!" Justin announced, pulling JC off of me and planting himself on me. I had to admit, the boy was one hell of a kisser. I found myself increasingly unable to concentrate, and the gentle strokes of his fingertips along the sides of my face were not helping. There was something about him that alluded to a naivete, but kissing him, I realized that despite his youth, he was full of a passion for life that few people ever knew. When his lips finally left mine, it took a few seconds to open my eyes. I had to shake it off and get my bearings once more, and I thought JC was going to be reduced to fits of hysterical laughter because of it.
"Shup," I warned him, "or I'll find somebody else to keep me company tonight."
"Such a bitch," he laughed. "Fine," he muttered with a grin, turning to Justin and Tyler.
"I'm not kissing naked boy over here," Justin proclaimed.
"Hey!" Tyler protested. "It's either that or you be naked boy, part two. Besides, you've grabbed my ass. I'd think a kiss would be the least you could do." He then stuck out his tongue vulgarly, and Justin clutched his stomach like he was going to feel ill. To his credit, he squinted tightly and dove face-first into Tyler, causing the two of them to almost knock one another out when their foreheads collided. Tyler grimaced and Justin scowled before making a second attempt. As they kissed, I couldn't help but glance at Tyler, to, ahem, see if he was enjoying it.
Finally, it came to Justin and Heather. No protests from either of them, as expected. As Justin leaned in to kiss her, Tyler started to say something, and JC elbowed him so hard he almost toppled over. When he sat up once more and saw the pair kissing, it dawned on him what we were doing. The two of them were completely entranced, so much so that Tyler, JC, and I were able to slip away unnoticed. I handed Tyler his clothes and slapped his ass on the way to the bedrooms. As we passed Roy and Karen's room, the door was still shut, and because they had the room with the creaky floorboard in front of it, I knew they were likely fast asleep, a notion quickly confirmed by Roy's snoring. I turned to JC, "If you ever snore like that, I'm going to suffocate you." He just shook his head and slid right up behind me, his anticipation very evident as he pushed me into the bedroom for the night.
"You realize how odd it is to play strip poker with your siblings, don't you?" I grinned at him.
"Yeah, probably," he admitted, "but it was for a good cause. They look good together, don't they?"
"They do," I confessed.
"Besides," he grinned back at me, "the only person I wanted to see naked wasn't being very obliging."
I pushed him onto the bed and straddled his hips before lifting my shirt over my head. "I can be very obliging," I cooed as I dove in to kiss the nape of his neck while fumbling with his shirt.
He stuck out his lip in mock protest. "But you wouldn't do that for me during the game."
"Damn straight," I laughed.
"You know, sweetie, that's kind of an odd term when you think about it," he giggled.
"I guess," I nodded, "though it depends more upon the emphasis. I mean, what if you see a cute guy. You shake your head and go, 'Damn. Straight.'"
"That was weak, you know," he laughed, pulling me flush against his body.
"You think so?" I raised an eyebrow. I began to trail down his bare stomach. "Let's see what else I can get 'damn straight.'"
"Come see us soon, Matt," Roy smiled as he gave my hand a firm squeeze.
"I will," I told him, "but you guys don't be strangers either."
"We won't," he smiled. "If anything, I imagine we'll be seeing a lot of each other."
"I've seen enough," Tyler whispered behind me. As soon as Roy's attention was diverted, I elbowed Tyler in the gut. "And that's quite enough out of you," I smiled.
"Take good care of my son," Karen whispered into my ear as she hugged me, "and let him take good care of you."
I nodded, trying not to shed a tear. Damn, I hated goodbyes. I hadn't had that much experience with them, though it was enough to know I didn't care for them. I looked over the see JC mussing Tyler's hair. Just beyond them, I could see Justin and Heather, arms wrapped around one another, having one last romantic moment.
"Sweet, isn't it?" JC purred as he rested his chin on my shoulder.
"You scared me," I grinned. "I didn't hear you sneak up on me."
"I'm like a ninja," he giggled.
"More like a nimrod," I grinned, reaching back to peck his nose, "but yes, it is." I was very grateful that we were the only ones in the VIP lounge at the airport. It looked as though everyone needed to be a little bit closer than protocol would have allowed in public.
"So who you gonna try to fix me up with, big brother?" Tyler chuckled as he draped an arm over both of our shoulders.
"I dunno," JC smirked. "I kind of like the idea of Curly as my brother-in-law. If he and Heather don't work out, you're my next pet project."
I laughed, but Tyler just glared at him playfully. "You better get a dog, because somebody has to be the 'guy' in the family."
"Please," JC laughed, "you've grabbed Curly's ass more than Heather has. At the moment, I'd say you're leaning more towards our team."
"'Leaning?'" I chuckled. "He's leaning so far he bends." That instantly earned me a growl from Tyler. "You better watch him. He's been checking me out, so he may want what big brother has."
"As long as he doesn't get it," JC smiled, wrapping his arms around me and placing his hands in my back pockets, pulling towards him, "he can look all he wants."
"I told you about your family and its voyeuristic tendencies," I smiled.
"Uh-huh," JC returned before leaning in to kiss me. "Hey, TJ, what'd we do with that video camera we got a few Christmases ago?"
I slapped my hand over Tyler's mouth before locking mine over JC's once more. "If you need reminders, sweetie, I'm always up for repeat performances."
"I'll bet you are," Tyler laughed, pulling my hand away from his mouth.
I lost track of the days soon after that. I was so content, that I didn't want this time to end. I'd had countless more chemo treatments, not to mention radiation treatments, and they hadn't gone all that bad. Justin had gotten the cast off, and now that he was 100%, the little bundle of energy couldn't help but keep my mind off things.
Nicky and Andy and the guys called me almost incessantly, and JC had flown the girls in to surprise me on one of those rare occasions when I was feeling down. Kevin and Brian phoned me whenever they got the chance, and Nate dropped me an occasional e-mail.
Justin drove me to one of my treatments after an argument from me finally got JC to stay home to work on some songs for the new album. The stuff with the record label was really starting to get to him, and I knew it. If the guys didn't finish up these last few concert venues and get to the studio, things were going to erupt, and I knew it.
"Hey!" Ange greeted as she walked into the room.
"Hey, girl," I smiled in return as I unbuttoned my shirt.
"You know, you're really starting to cause a commotion around the hospital with the company you're keeping," she grinned.
"Little ol' me?" Justin asked, fluttering his eyes.
"You or your better looking best friend," I added, sliding on the gown.
"At least this time, I don't have to send anybody out into the hall," Ange grinned, sliding the IV into my arm. We'd done this so much lately, there was absolutely no pretense whatsoever.
"I made him work today," I chuckled. "Only one of us gets to be a lazy bum at a time."
"When's he ever gonna get a chance?" Justin laughed.
"Keep it up, Curly, and I'll have Ange put a few things in you," I threatened.
"Now, now, Matt, I already said you'd get a shot at me one day. No need to threaten to take your toys and go home," Justin giggled.
"Perv," I laughed.
"And you want me," he smiled.
"For what?" I laughed.
"I'm sure, given enough time, you could come up with something," he laughed, kicking back in the chair beside me with yet another book. Little oddball was such a contrast to what people expected of him. No lessons in ebonics, no trying to act cool, just a nice, normal kid. Beyond that, a particularly bright kid who read more than anyone I knew, with the possible exception of Nate. I wondered if the teenybopper magazines knew about that.
"Hey, Ange?" I asked, as she started out the door.
"Yeah?"
"I'm gonna need something for nausea," I answered, my stomach starting to churn.
"Really?" she asked. "You haven't needed anything since that first time."
"I know," I panted, "but it's somehow worse this time."
"Lemme go get it," she barely managed before scurrying out the door.
Justin shot forward, his reading glasses and book set aside. "What can I do?"
I started sweating profusely, and when I tried to stand up to make it to the bathroom, I collapsed to the floor in a heap. "Justin, help me . . . ."
Justin pressed the nurse call button before clearing the bed in a single leap. He knelt beside me and tried to help me upright. When he did, the stars and spots swarmed before my eyes, and I lost any equilibrium I had. I threw up over absolutely everything, Justin being my primary target. It just kept coming. My abs convulsed as the gastric contents spewed forth endlessly. Finally, just when I thought it would end, I felt the bitter acid and acrid, bile taste well in my throat like a horribly magnified belch. When I released it, I could see torn pieces of my intestinal mucosa spill onto the floor. As if that weren't bad enough, then the blood came.
I could literally feel my strength draining from me even further as the floor splashed crimson. Ange and two other nurses came running in. Ange was beside me instantly, shooting the medications into my line. Justin barked at the other two to help him stand me up. They stopped to look around for gloves for a minute, and Justin boiled.
"DAMMIT! I don't give a shit if he is covered in blood, help me!" he bellowed. After getting the gloves anyway, they all helped me stand and basically lifted me to the bathroom. Justin peeled my gown off me as the others essentially held my head over the bowl for me. Justin slid the washcloth up and down my back, repeating that everything was going to be fine.
When my eyes fluttered open, JC was leaning over me, just inches from my face. His arm was locked beside me. I couldn't begin to hazard a guess as to how long he'd been just like that. "Hi," I smiled weakly.
"Don't 'Hi' me, mister," he tried to act angry. "I thought you said you'd be fine."
"And I thought you were gonna get some work done," I breathed hoarsely.
"Don't get motor-mouth started," Ange laughed as she came in to check on me. She secured a bracelet on my arm. "You're not going anywhere tonight."
"What?" I grimaced. "Don't be ridiculous. I'm fine."
"Your hematocrit is fourteen. You need more blood than an anorexic vampire," she laughed.
"Funny," I chuckled. "Ever considered a career as a stand-up comic?"
"Not once," she smiled.
"Good thing," I smiled back at her. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see a bag of packed cells hanging. "What unit is that?"
"Don't ask," she tried to smile. "Though considering the blood shortage that's going on right now, you might wanna ask the celebrities over here to help encourage people to donate."
"Good idea," JC nodded.
"Yeah," Justin agreed. "As a matter of fact, I'll donate now. Make me feel like I'm doing something besides sitting here." The minute he said it, he realized his mouth had bypassed his brain entirely. If he hadn't known it, the look on JC's face would have said it all.
"JC, I'm so sorry," he apologized profusely.
"It's okay, Curly," JC smiled, though Justin and I both knew it wasn't.
"Considering how much of a distraction your presence could be, why don't I get one of the blood bank people to give the stuff to me, and you can donate in here?" Ange suggested.
"No," Justin smiled. "This is one time I want to cause a commotion. If they want to get close to me, they'll have to be in the chair beside me donating."
Ange and I both smiled. "Okay, I'll be back in just a second to walk you down there." Justin nodded.
JC picked up the phone and started dialing. "Who are you calling?" Justin and I asked almost simultaneously.
"They need more donors, and you need some family," JC smiled before turning his attention back to the phone. "Hey, Joe, do me a favor . . . ."
"Good morning, sunshine," I could hear being whispered into my ear as something tickled my nose. I struggled to strain my eyes open, when I did, I was greeted to an overly-chipper face.
"Hey, pineapple-head," I chuckled.
"Hey!" Chris protested. "In case you haven't noticed, I got a new do."
I laughed, "Now you look like a troll."
"There's just no winning with you, is there?" he tried not to grin.
"Not unless you turn into him," I smiled, pointing at JC, who was sitting at the foot of the bed with a smile of his own.
"Why in the hell would I want to turn into that?" Chris asked with mock disgust.
"Gee, Chris, I don't know. Raw sex appeal, killer looks, and a singing voice that makes a good portion of the general populace think wholly unnatural thoughts about you," I grinned. JC just continued to smile, in an effort to conceal a blush. "Oh, yeah, I forgot," I announced, regaining my composure, "you've already got a singing voice."
"Gee," he muttered with no false enthusiasm, "so kind of you to remember."
"I remember, though if I had the voice of a prepubescent Vienna Boys Choir member, I'd probably want to forget," I managed with a straight face.
I thought Joey and Lance were gonna die laughing. Chris immediately cut them a look that turned Joey's attention back to the cartoons on the television screen and returned Lance's eyes back to the magazine in front of him. Chris turned back to me smugly, only to be nailed by the hackey-sack hurled at his head by Lance.
"What?" Lance asked with false sincerity, only to chuckle under Chris's scrutiny.
"MATTY! You're awake!" Justin yelled as he came through the door, leaping onto the bed and missing any vital areas by mere inches. He leaned over and kissed my forehead. "You better?"
"He better be," Kathy warned as she entered with sacks in her arms. "Somebody's got to save you from me for leaving me stranded among that little group of stalkers out front."
"With groceries no less," JC smiled, standing long enough to help her put the sacks on the table in the corner.
"I thought people were supposed to take it easy on you when you're pregnant," Kathy grinned, "but thank you, JC. I'm glad there's at least one gentleman in the room."
The rest of her statement might as well have gone unspoken. Three sets of eyes in the room had been locked on her ever since the word "pregnant" passed her lips. JC just smiled and laid down beside me, after pushing a giggling Justin onto the floor.
"Jeez, Matt. I figure you told everyone else," Kathy smiled at me. "I just assumed they already knew as well."
I burned crimson, turning my head to hide the guilt. I was gonna be hearing about this one for a very long time. "You know what they say happens when you assume something," Justin offered from the floor.
"If the word 'ass' comes out of your mouth, Curly," Kathy warned, "I'll break yours."
"Better men than you have tried," Chris interjected, very pleased with himself.
"You wish," Justin retorted--poorly.
"Actually," Lance smiled, "I think JC or Matt might, but as for the rest of us . . . ." Lance paused to look at Chris and Joey. "No, I'd say it's a pretty fair consensus that we see your ass entirely too much."
Joey was on the floor in fits, "And Bible Boy speaks." That earned him a look from Lance, who was trying to act mad, but failing miserably.
"Besides," Kathy cut in, hurling something at Justin, "if you want to eat your cereal instead of wearing it, don't piss me off. I'm hormonal."
"Oh, yeah, that's new," I muttered. "And what do you mean--'one' gentleman?"
"Exactly that, Mr. Mutter Under Your Breath Because You Think The Pregnant Woman Won't Hear."
"Busted," Chris taunted.
"Don't you have an ugly dog to take care of?" I asked, eyebrow raised.
"Normally, yeah, but you seem to be doing a good job of keeping JC amused," Chris said with a straight face.
"Bitch," I smiled.
"JC, he's calling you," Chris smiled, just before getting pegged in the head by a box of cereal that just happened to be within my reach. "Ooh, JC," Chris smiled, rubbing his head, "is he always so rough?"
"You have no idea," Justin giggled.
"Neither do you, Curly," I smiled.
"Oh, the sounds emanating from your room give me a pretty good idea," he shot back. I just sat in silence. "What, no witty repartee?" he smiled, proud of himself.
"Sorry," I managed through a somber expression. "I just didn't realize you had mastered four-syllable words yet. That hooked on phonics thing is really paying off."
"I hate you," he pouted.
"No you don't. You love me," I supplied.
"Yeah, but you make it hard to remember why," he grinned.
"Eew, JC, your boyfriend's making Justin hard," Chris groaned, only to be accosted by whatever objects happened to be a handy missile volley for the other six people in the room.
"Well, you're finally gonna get to see us in action," JC smiled at me.
"He's already seen you in action," Joey offered.
"Thanks, Joe," JC grinned. "Don't help."
"Okay," Joey beamed, walking off to finish getting into costume.
"You nervous?" I asked JC.
"Nah. I've done this a few times," he winked.
I spun him around to help him fasten the back of his costume. "I know, but this is your first show in ages. These guys have been waiting for this make-up concert forever."
"We won't disappoint them," JC said with assurance.
"You couldn't if you tried," I smiled back at him.
"Aww, how cute," Lance teased from by the other clothes rack.
"The rest of these bozos, however," I quickly amended.
"FIVE MINUTES, GUYS! LET'S GET IN POSITION!" came from the other side of the closed door.
"You guys go ahead," JC told the others. "I'll be along in just a second."
"Okay," Joey laughed, "but there's no time for a quickie."
"You mean it can take over five minutes?" Chris asked, feigning innocence.
"For the real men, it can," I laughed, pushing him out the door, "but you're right, Joey, there's not. Not for us, anyway."
"Too much information," Joey frowned before smiling and shutting the door behind them.
"Now that the peanut gallery is gone," I chuckled, "what's going on in that pretty little head of yours?"
"Are you okay?" he asked.
"I'm fine, sweetie, really," I assured him, giving his hand a squeeze as I went in for a kiss. "Why wouldn't I be?"
"I'm scared," he admitted.
"You'll be fine," I reminded him.
"I'm not talking about the show," he glared.
"I know," I confessed, "but we both knew that the lazy days couldn't last forever. You have a job to do. The label says you guys have to be on the road tomorrow, so that's what you need to do."
"Are you gonna be okay?" he asked again. "I mean, less than a month ago, you almost bled to death in that hospital room."
"But I didn't," I reminded him, "and for the record, thanks."
"For what?"
"For the public service announcements you guys did. All those people seeing you guys give blood pulled the blood supply out of critical shortage for the first time in months."
"I just wish I would have given," he pouted.
"You give more than you know," I smiled before stealing another kiss. "Besides, you got the powers that be to donate half of the proceeds from this concert to St. Jude. I'd say you've done plenty."
He tried to smile. "I want to do more."
"You will," I smiled. "Tonight, I promise, but for now, you better get that cute little ass of yours out on stage."
"This little old thing?" he smiled.
"Let me check," I grinned, sliding my hands down the back of his pants and giving his cheeks a squeeze. "Yup, that's the one. Now go impress me."
"I will," he smiled. "Tonight, I promise, but for now, I better get my cute little ass out on stage." I just shook my head and followed him out to the backstage area.
With a little help from Justin, the guys were staying at a hotel. They were going there after a post-party. JC and I had the house to ourselves. I had started to say something, but I was quickly cut off by his presence.
"Shut up," he smiled. "We can talk while I'm on the road. There's a few things I want to do tonight that I won't be able to for a very long time."
I grinned, "You have no idea." Sliding the shirt from his shoulders and pushing him onto the bed, I ran my tongue up his chin and into his mouth, only to abruptly withdraw it again as he tried to seize it, instead licking the cleft of his upper lip and the underside of his nose. Repeating this motion several times, his frustration was evident with the soft moans and involuntary shudders every time I moved to the sides of his face. His hands found the taut denim covering my backside.
Tenderly biting his tongue when he kissed me, I moved down his jaw line and onto his Adam's apple. Applying light suction, my saliva dribbled down my chin and onto the pillow. Gripping his pectorals firmly, I planted sloppy laps down his chest to his nipples. I bit one firmly as I squeezed the other. Alternating between the dark mounds of flesh, I almost lost my balance as he arched his back.
I followed his treasure trail with my mouth as my fingers nimbly tugged the pants from his legs. To my pleasant surprise, that was the only obstacle I found in my path. I drug my tongue through the tangled thatch of short hairs and up the shaft, instantly earning a taste of things to come from the tip. I lapped it up greedily before he pulled me up to him so he could lock his mouth atop my own. I squeezed his inner thighs firmly as he grabbed the waistband of my jeans.
When I started for his groin, he pushed me around so that he had easy access to my pants. He removed them with ease before pulling my head towards the pillow. He scooped my tongue with his as it moved up the side of my mouth. Repeating much of my same motions along my chest, he stopped to pay particular attention to the rigid muscles of my stomach, brushing every inch with movement that missed nothing.
He took me into his mouth as his fingers massaged my testicles. His rhythmic movements pushed me close to the edge, and I pushed him off of me to let him know. We shifted against one another so that every muscle found its counterpart. Leaning back onto my knees, I felt him raise his hips in expectation. Smiling, I shook my head. "Make love to me."
"Are you sure?" he asked. I simply smiled and straddled his hips. Grabbing one of his shoulders to for support, we both grimaced softly as he pushed past the rigid muscles. I tightly grabbed both of his shoulders and bit my lip to stifle my emerging cries of discomfort. My own manhood betrayed my excitement, spasming between both of our stomachs. Inhaling sharply, I involuntary rose off him until he was securely inside me. I could feel the excited pounding of his own heart.
"Is this okay?" he asked apprehensively as I leaned towards him. Nodding, the muscles of my neck contracted with the increasing intensity of each thrust. He grabbed my upper legs to steady me as my chest heaved, and my heart felt as if it would explode in my chest. The perspiration streamed from my brow, and as we kissed, I could feel it pass onto his own face to mingle with his own, much the way the sweat of our thighs was doing. I moaned softly as he did the same.
With each movement, he lost himself in the moment as I drew in crisp breaths every time he strained his hips against my own. I gripped his pecs tightly, so much so that I could feel warm liquid under my fingernails. He held onto me firmly, his thrusts becoming more and more chaotic. He trembled violently with a yell, his legs extending to rigidity and spiraling both of us towards the floor.
He held me fast to halt my descent, the powerful eruptions rippling through every part of him and shutting his eyelids tight with determination. I locked my legs around his waist and hooked my arms around his neck and back.
Ribbons of fluid shot between us, matting us together.
"I love you," I told him, truly comprehending it more each day.
He tried to speak, but a hoarse croak was all that issue forth between pants. "As soon as I'm able to talk again, I'll tell you how much you mean to me."
"You better," I laughed, collapsing even further against him as I drifted into one of the most blissful sleeps I had ever known.
Thunderous pounding echoed through my ears and I tried to force my unwilling eyes to open. When I finally did, the hazy numbers on the clock became clear. "SHIT!" I yelled, "Not again!"
JC sat up with a start. "What?!"
"They're here to pick you up," was my answer, as I found myself scrambling for my jeans, pausing just long enough to throw his pants to him. I ran through the house to the back door, tripping, stubbing my toe, and getting my unbuttoned shirt hung on at least three pieces of furniture as I made my way. Finally flinging the door open, Justin just smiled at me, his hand raised in a knocking motion.
"Morning," he grinned broadly.
"Fuck you," I smiled, turning to walk back into the living room.
"Actually," Justin laughed, "judging by the way you're walking . . . ."
Without stopping, turning, or missing a beat, "Finish that statement and lose a testicle."
He just smiled and plopped onto the couch. "Yes, Miss Bueller."
"Bitch," I growled as JC joined us, still clad only in his pants, but the rest of his clothes in his arms.
"DAMN!" Justin shouted.
"What?" JC nervously asked, dropping his shoes and a few articles of clothing.
"Did you do that?" Justin asked me incredulously. Finally, I followed his gaze to the scabbed-over streaks across JC's chests and clamped my hand over my mouth as my eyes went wide with wonder.
Justin was laughing hysterically. JC turned every shade of red I'd ever seen. "No shirtless shots for you, loverboy," Justin teased him. "And if you have any sense in that head of yours, you'll keep a shirt on whenever you're around Chris or Joey until those go away."
"Good advice," I finally smiled. "Speaking of the bonehead brothers, where are they?"
"In the van out front. I had a hunch you might need a few minutes to get ready," he grinned at me.
I just smiled and kissed his cheek. "Okay, maybe you won't go to hell."
"JC, your bitch is hitting on me," he giggled.
"Then again, blondie, pack your sunscreen."
"Okay, I'm ready," JC announced, bolting upright from his seat. "I guess we need to go."
I cocked a half-smile at the pout on his face and agreed, "I guess so," before pulling him into a soft kiss. Squeezing my arms around him, I memorized every sensation before I heard Justin clear his throat.
"You wanna tell the guys goodbye?" JC asked me.
Shaking my head, "Nah, I'll wave at them from the window. I hate goodbyes.
Not enough practice." I reminded him. "Just remember your promise."
JC smiled at me. "I'll be walking through that door the minute I'm able."
"Crawl, if you must," I smiled. "I'll take care of you."
"Promises, promises," he smiled back at me, shutting the door behind him.
The seconds away from him seemed like weeks, until finally, weeks were what they became. He called me everyday, usually several times. In fact, it was usually until one of the other guys physically came over and ended the call for them. I talked to them all endlessly, suddenly finding myself very lonely.
Sitting in my hospital room, I was waiting for them to come take me to radiology when Bobby came in with a solemn look on his face. "Mind if I sit down?" he asked somberly.
"I considered saying 'no,' just because I know that look, but what the hell? Make yourself at home," I tried to smile.
"Wanna take a guess?" he looked at me, recalling an old game he and I used to play. "You get three guesses, . . . ."
"But I'll only need one," I finished. "The treatments aren't working."
He couldn't even speak. He just shook his head.
"So what do we do now?" I asked optimistically.
"We scrap everything we've been doing and start over," he sighed.
"Then let's do it," I smiled.
He raised an eyebrow at me. "You're taking this remarkably well."
"I've got something to live for."
"Something or someone?" he grinned.
"Pick one," I laughed. "The name's the same either way."
"Okay," he nodded. "I still want you to get the radiation treatments, though I'm gonna expand the mantle fields and change around the chemo."
"So no more kids in my future?"
"You think JC will mind?" he grinned back. He gave my leg a squeeze. "Don't give up on me, because I'm not giving up on you."
"Not a problem."
After Bobby left, I turned on the television to provide me with a distraction. It had no sooner turned it on when my cell phone rang.
"Hello?"
"Matty!" reverberated from the phone.
"Hello, Chris," I smiled. "Whazzup?"
"Whazzup?" he repeated. "Just seeing how you're doing."
"No, you're not," I told him. "I talked to you yesterday. Small-talk would have kept until Josh called me tonight. I assume it's about him."
"Yeah," Joey shouted into the phone. "HE'S DRIVING US CRAZY!"
All I could do was laugh. "What's the matter, guys?"
"We think, well, um, . . . ," Lance stammered.
"We think he needs to get him some," Chris added.
"Um, guys, I'm not really able to address that particular problem at this time," I reminded him.
"Nothing like that," Lance cut in. "It's just, you two just talk about stuff when you're on the phone."
I chuckled. "I'm sorry, Lance, I'd recite the Gettysburg Address if I could remember it."
"You know what I mean," I could hear him blush.
"Actually," I assured him, "I haven't the foggiest notion."
"I think it would help if he could just talk about how much he wants to be with you," Lance told me.
"As eloquently as you put that," I laughed, "you do realize what you're talking about don't you?"
"A digital get-down?" Joey offered.
I just laughed into the phone. "I guess that's one way to put it. Tell you what, tell him to check his voice-mail and call me tonight. You guys don't be around when he does."
"DEAL!" they all answered in unison. I just shook my head and closed the phone.
And the time continued to march forward. Without JC physically by my side, and without a job to go to everyday, I counted the minutes, especially in the days and weeks following Bobby's disappointing news. About the only thing to fill the gaps between JC's phone-calls was talking to Kathy. She was starting to show, and it made her miserable. I, of course, found that funny.
I took off for one of my runs shortly after dawn one morning. After downing one of the protein shakes, I hit the asphalt. A cool breeze helped to invigorate me, but it just seemed to take longer than usual. I felt as though I would never get back to the house. That was not a pleasant prospect, considering the sharp muscle pains I was getting in my chest. If that weren't enough, severe cramping seized my stomach, and even the moderate little inclines of the road forced my legs above and beyond. Several times, I slowed myself to a casual walk. I tried to at least maintain a jog, but I just didn't have the strength for it. Finally, the end was in sight, and the shock waves shooting through my feet emanated from my own driveway. After fumbling with my keys for a few minutes, I got the door open and headed into the living room under the fan, but that didn't seem to help, and I started panting harder and harder.
Finally, I struggled to stand, only to topple weakly to the floor. Every movement suddenly took everything I had, but I managed to pull myself along the carpet to the kitchen, where I tugged on the phone cord. I watched helplessly as it hurdled to the floor, shattering into pieces. Tears would have welled in my eyes were I not trying vainly to press the unresponsive numbers. Unfortunately for me, there was no dial tone to carry my call for help, and I didn't have time to get to another phone before my breathing stopped and the world went black.
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