Search and Rescue

Hey, true believers. Been a while, huh? (Or, as my Canadian counterpart would say, "eh?"). The good news is that contrary to the fears of a few of both of our readers, we are very much alive and well. We took the added to time to finish up our little collaboration, and I think you'll enjoy it. This installment is obviously longer than most of either or our previous ventures, but I hope you'll find that's because we had a lot to get in there. The joint effort has been one of the most rewarding experiences I've ever had, and in truth, despite the headaches of the logistics, it's been one of the most fun, as well. That being said, I'll try to keep it a little briefer than usual.

A huge thanks to everyone who's been there to support me or give me a good swift kick in the pants when I needed it. That's a pretty big group, but I do wanna drag the spotlight onto Steve, Wayne, Jeremy, Christine, Nate, Beck, Kev, Clive, Loner, Chas, Matty (I'll bear your suggestion in mind grin), Matt, Drew, the always-wonderful Seth, Jamie, Steven, and as always, Lauren. Despite their obvious lack of taste in associating with me, they've gone above and beyond to help me be a better writer. Many of them are accomplished story authors in their own right, and I would take a moment to highlight them, but this is my story, and you've all waited long enough for it as is.

Of course, there's DLS. I don't know what to say, and even if I did, I'm not sure it'd be fit for mixed company :) In seriousness, it's been incredible--not just our collaborative efforts, but our friendship as well. Now, if he'd just ask before he borrow my car, he'd be almost perfect (discounting the whole "Canadian" thing :)

Lastly, goodnight, Joshua. I love you, kiddo.

As for the disclaimers and the mandatory hoops we need to jump through, go read any of them from my previous chapters, because it still applies.

FINALLY, here's part 17 of my continuing story.

I rolled over just a few hours later to see the clock already blaring almost 6:30. "Josh, honey?" I whispered softly into the ear that wasn't pressed against my chest.

"Mmm?"

"If we want to get back before Nate and Brian get up, we should probably get going."

Realization gripped him. "Okay," he muttered emotionlessly before sliding off of me. He dropped his feet to the floor and rubbed the palms of his hands against his eyes in an effort to wake himself up further. I gave the small of his back a reassuring rub before getting up and going to our bags. I pulled out some clothes for the both of us while he quickly cleaned up in the bathroom. I slid on a pair of jeans and knelt over to pick up my sandals without fastening them.

JC rejoined me and kissed me on the cheek, almost absentmindedly. I silently damned myself for being so preoccupied with me and my problems that I hadn't noticed what he'd been going through. I slid on a T-shirt and pulled a button-down over it, leaving it open. JC slid on the cargo pants and sleeveless sweatshirt I'd handed him. As he pulled on his boots, I realized that he was just going through the motions. I hugged him long enough for him to grip his hand around my forearm. He leaned into it, and I felt the warmth of his tears across my skin. My own tears dripped onto the back of his neck. His nose was pressed too tightly against me, and when he breathed, a peculiar sound emerged. That was just enough of a tension-breaker to bring a smile to both our faces.

"Why don't you go get some coffee while I get Kevin and Kathy up?" I suggested, hearing the light rap at the door of the room service I'd ordered last night.

He nodded a bitter smile and kissed me, his face lingering just a moment longer, allowing me to feel every shuddering gasp. I hugged him like I would never let him go, or at least until he said he was okay.

I solemnly watched him manage his way down the stairs. I tried to regain my composure before going into Kathy's room. "Kath?"

She rolled over and strained her eyes to identify me. "Matt?" I didn't answer, but I really didn't need to. "I'll be ready in five."

I rolled my eyes at her, and apparently her night vision was still adjusted. "Okay, ten," she smiled.

I nodded and made my way next door to Kevin's room. I called out his name, but he didn't answer, so I walked over to the bed and gently touched his shoulder. He jerked awake with a start and asked me what was wrong. His mind assessed the situation, and he clasped my shoulder. "You okay?"

"Fine," I lied.

"JC?"

"About the same," I answered honestly. He nodded in understanding and pulled me into a hug. I buried my face into his bare shoulder as he let me just sob. Kathy lightly pecked at the door and stuck her head in. I dried my eyes and patted the comforting hand she'd placed on my own shoulder.

Kevin got up to put on some shorts, surprising both Kathy and myself, since he was nude at the time. "Good," he grinned, "somebody besides me can blush for a change." As he pulled a wife-beater on, he gave me a wink. "Besides, it's not like it's something the two of you haven't seen before."

Kathy and I just laughed as he slipped on his shoes and draped his arms across our shoulders. We walked downstairs to find JC blankly holding a cup of coffee from the top while his elbow rested on the knee bent so close to his chest. I took the cup from his hands. "We don't have to do this."

He stroked my jaw with the back of his fingers. "I do."

I nodded again, completely empty of any reassuring words. We passed by the concierge on our way to the elevator and the elderly gentleman inside who pressed the button for the lobby, but those were the only two souls we saw before arriving downstairs, where again, only hotel staff greeted us. The valet brought around my SUV, and we climbed in.

JC just stared out the window, not crying, just thinking. My concern was not alone. Kevin and Kathy watched silently from the seat behind us. We got to the cemetery, and using the slip of paper that the policeman had given JC in the hospital, I navigated us to the proper area.

We followed a step or two behind him, trying to give him the space we thought he needed. Craig's grave still showed evidence of its recent use. The soft soil gave somewhat as JC took a few steps onto it. He stood there utterly devoid of any sign of life before falling to his knees. His eyes poured forth an endless supply of tears as he brushed his fingertips across the writing of the tombstone that JC had picked out. Though procedure prevented him from taking Craig's body across state lines to his home state, the funeral home had no problem with JC footing the bill. It was evident how much it pained him that he wasn't here when they laid Craig to rest.

Kathy pushed against me, urging me forward. I stepped beside him and placed my hands on his shoulders. I fell to my knees beside him. He could barely breathe, but he insisted on talking. "Craig, this is Matt. I've fallen in love with him. I know it seems like an awfully short time since you left me, but you're gone now." I watched him choke back the tears, tightening into a stern visage. "It wasn't fair to any of us, but you're in a better place now. I have to go on with my life, and because of Matt, I have a reason to."

He chuckled, "I think you two would have liked each other. He's as hardheaded as you are . . . were." The bemusement was gone. "I hope you're at peace, now. I've made my peace with the obstacles fate has thrown at me, and I've made my peace with us. You'll be forever in my heart, but someone shares that space with you now. I never thought I could find another man so wonderful, so loving, as you, but I have, and Lord-willing, I want to have with him all the things I was denied with you. I know you wanted nothing but my happiness, despite the arguments we had in our last times together, and with Matt, I've found it."

JC rose to his feet. "I love you, Craig. I always will." He turned to Kevin and Kathy. I hesitated, pausing to place the palm of my hand flat against the marble.

"Thank you for loving him," I whispered. "I'll take good care of his heart, I promise."

Kevin was walking with JC back to the car. Kathy stood there, her arms folded to withstand the morning chill. The wind brushed her hair both on and off her face. She just smiled at me with eyes full of compassion. She outstretched a hand, and the two of us went back to the car ourselves.

As we walked back to the car, I couldn't help feeling that here was something more I should have said, something more I should have done. I felt so hopelessly inadequate when it came to being the supportive one for JC. It was a role he felt completely at ease with, it seemed, and I desperately longed to be there for him in the same way.

Oddly, I'd expected more of a reaction from JC when he saw Craig's grave for the first time. To be honest, I don't know what I was expecting. Either he was as good at hiding his true feelings as I was, which I doubted--he seemed so open--or he had already made his peace with Craig's passing. If that was the case, I was envious. I hoped to God I wouldn't break his heart by leaving him too soon.

Kathy could tell I was lost in thought, so she took the keys from me with a smile. She caught up to Kevin and patted him on the back. Showing him the keys, he took the message and climbed in the front seat. JC smiled and got in back with me. I propped myself against the door and pulled him close against me. I kissed the top of his head, leaving my chin to rest there afterwards. I slid my hand down the neck of his shirt and rubbed his chest while we drove back to the hotel.

When we got there, we found Brian sitting with his legs crossed in front of the television eating some of the junk food Nate and Kathy had apparently bought last night. "Brian!" Kevin scolded, "Let me order some real breakfast."

"Hey!" he greeted after getting past our 'sneaking up' on him. "Where've you guys been?"

"We went to the cemetery," Kevin answered.

"What?" Brian asked with a surprised expression.

"We went to see Craig's grave," Kathy continued.

Brian seemed more puzzled than ever. "Who?"

'Damn,' I thought to myself, 'I told Nate about Craig and how JC and I met, but apparently, no one had filled in the blanks for Brian.' There was not going to be an easy way to tell Brian about him without pouring salt in the wound for JC. I deliberated for a split second, trying to choose my words carefully, but it turned out that I didn't have to.

"Craig was my fiance," JC began. "He and I were in a car wreck. I made it, but he wasn't so lucky. That's how I met Matt--he was one of the people who responded to the emergency."

"Oh, my God, JC," Brian said sincerely, "I had no idea. I'm so sorry."

"Thanks," JC forced himself to smile. He looked at me with a raised eyebrow. "I thought you told them."

I shook my head. "I thought I had, too, but it was just Nate. I never gave Brian the specifics."

He just nodded and walked upstairs to the bedroom. I followed him in, and found him sobbing uncontrollably. I didn't know what to say. I wasn't even sure if there was anything to say, so I pulled him onto the bed. He rested his head in my lap and curled up into fetal position. I stroked his forehead with one hand and rubbed his back with the other.

He fell asleep in that position, and I just sat there looking down at his face. Kevin eventually came up to check on us. "Is he okay?" he asked with concern.

"I think so," I said, stroking his hair. "I was honestly concerned he was taking it to well, but I think he's coping exactly like he should."

"He looks exhausted," Kevin commented, blushing when he realized what we were doing last night to make him that way. "I meant emotionally, going to the cemetery and all."

"I know," I smiled, "but thank you for last night."

"I'm not the one you should be thanking," he grinned.

"I'll thank her later."

"I'm not talking about Kathy," he smiled. "All of this was his idea."

I smiled and kissed JC's forehead. "How are you?" Kevin asked me. "Good," I answered. Without peeling my eyes from JC, I corrected myself, "Great."

Kevin walked over and kissed the top of my head. I gave his hand a squeeze before he started out of the room. "You might want to get him up . . . awake," he smiled. "We need to get going, and we haven't even picked up Justin yet."

"I will, Kev, thanks." He nodded and shut the door behind him. "Sweetie?" I whispered without results. When I repeated myself, he gradually roused.

"Better?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "I needed that."

"I know," I smiled. "You ready to go back downstairs?"

"You bet," he grinned.

When we got back downstairs, Brian had a strange look on his face. "What's going on in that pretty little head of yours?" I glared.

"Hey, JC, could you help me with something?"

"Like what?" he asked with a smile.

"Payback," Brian said simply.

"Absolutely."

Brian sprung up and headed for he and Nate's room. JC was soon behind, and when Kev, Kathy, and I joined in tow, Brian shot us a questioning glare. "Oh, no," I smiled. "If my boyfriend and revenge are in the same sentence, I'm definitely coming along."

When Brian looked at Kevin, Kathy put her hand over Kevin's mouth. "We're coming to watch."

Brian just shook his head, and we crept into the bedroom. Brian motioned JC towards the bed, and it didn't take long for JC to catch on. He crawled in next to Nate and whispered in his ear, "Time to wake up, pookie." When that got no immediate response, he tried again. "It's time to get up, Nate."

I saw the smile before anyone else, and I had a pretty good idea what was coming. "JC, Brian's gonna get suspicious if you keep this up. I know that Matt just can't satisfy you, but I can't keep bailing you out like this."

Everyone else laughed. I just rolled my eyes. JC wanted to know why he wasn't fooled, so Nate explained, even throwing in another good-natured jab at my other half. Brian had still managed to get his extortion pictures with the camera, so he was all smiles. Kevin pointed out that Nate really needed to get up. We were running behind schedule. I just smiled to myself, watching Kevin play the parental role again. Nate protested, complaining of being tired. Needless to say, that elicited a response to their apparent extracurricular activities from last night, though surprisingly, Kevin beat us all to the punch with a zinger and grabbed the comforter.

"Kevin!" Brian screamed. We all knew why when we saw Nate's naked form. My attention, and obviously everyone else's, was drawn to a particularly nasty scar on his hip. Somebody had been fairly brutal with a knife--a switchblade, from all appearances (or an automatic, as it was called on the streets these days). Lord knows that from my time in trauma, I'd seen enough wounds to know.

When I realized that we were gawking, I grabbed everybody and pushed them out the door, shutting it behind us as Brian handed Nate a pair of underwear. We got back downstairs, and JC and Kathy immediately commented how bad the scar had looked.

"Switchblades don't make nice, pretty cuts," I pointed out.

"Is that what caused that?" Kevin asked. When I nodded, he added, "He doesn't know, and I don't think he should."

I nodded as JC asked what happened. I squeezed his hand to subtly suggest that that was none of our business. Kevin started to explain when Brian came storming into the room.

"What the fuck were you thinking?" he shouted.

"I didn't think . . . ."

"No shit! You know what happened and how self-conscious he is about . . . ."

"Brian, shut up!" Kathy coolly yelled. "Yes, he knew about the scar and the history behind it. We had no way of knowing that Nate wasn't wearing any clothes under there. Kevin was just messing with him the same way you all mess with him . . . ."

"Kathy," Kevin tried to intervene.

"Kevin, stay out of this," she stated matter-of-factly. "I'm sick of all the melodramatic bullshit that's gone on this week. Matt's sick, JC lost someone very close to him, Nate's scared he's ruining Brian's life, and Brian's scared that Nate's gonna crack or something. Guess what? You all are driving Kevin to distraction, and you're driving me insane."

Even I was taken aback. I hadn't seen Kathy like this in ages. It wasn't pretty, and I knew she was going to keep going until she had said all that she had to say, so I hoped everyone was smart enough to let her.

"Matt, let JC in! He loves you, and you need someone to do just that. You've got a shot at living, maybe for the first time in your life. You've never given yourself to anyone, so for God's sake, open up and let him love you." She wheeled to face JC. "This is new to him. He's not Craig, and it's not fair to think of him like that. I saw you this morning--the realization didn't hit you until then. Craig's gone, and while I know that you love him, a part of you jumped into this relationship to stop the hurt."

I looked at JC and saw the shock. Part of him knew she was right, and when he looked at my face, he averted his gaze. My shoulders fell, but I pulled him closer. I forced him to look at me, and I hoped my expression told him it was okay. We both had a lot of work to do.

Kathy wasn't through, though, not by a long shot. "And Brian!" she spun on him, and when he looked into her eyes, he took two steps backwards. "Back off. I don't know all of what's happened to Nate, but he's not fragile. He's not some china doll that you can put in a glass case to shield him from the world. It doesn't work that way. Let him live his life--with you, if that's what he chooses, but you cannot live it for him. You can't protect him any more than he can protect you."

She clenched her fists and screamed in exasperation. "Damn, you all make love too complicated. Just follow your heart." She dropped into a chair before realizing that she hadn't started in on Kevin. "And you," she said softly, "you can't play father to the world. That'll spread you a bit thin."

She just shook her head and walked back to her bedroom. We all sat there in a stunned silence for several minutes. Brian was the first to speak, "Kev, I'm . . . ."

"I know," he smiled. "Go check on Nate. I'll take care of things out here."

Brian grinned. "Why don't you just tell them what all that was about? I think maybe we should all take care of our own problems for the time being."

Kevin started to explain about the scars, but I stopped him. "Why don't I talk to Kathy first?" He nodded, and I walked up to her room.

I knocked and after receiving no answer, I let myself in anyway. She was sitting on the bed in complete silence. In all the years I'd known her, she rarely cried. This was no exception. She looked up at me and smiled. I returned the greeting and sat beside her. "Not that I'm disagreeing with you about any of that, because you're right, but I don't think all of that little display was on our accounts."

"It's not," she admitted. "It's about my being pregnant and being stressed out because of it." I started to say something, but she cut in. "Don't you dare psychoanalyze me, Matthew Nicholas Hunter."

I just grinned and shook my head. "Why don't you talk to him while he's here?"

She breathed deeply and almost grinned. "Maybe." I started to smile, and she elbowed me so hard I fell off the bed. "I said maybe."

I nodded. "Let's go downstairs." We did, and Kevin was filling in a few of the blanks for JC without going into too many details. Then he did the same for Kathy and myself. When Brian and Nate came back in the room, Kathy hugged him and expressed her sympathy, but surprisingly, it wasn't as awkward a moment as I would have expected. They sat down on the couch, and Kevin told us breakfast would be there any minute, though his statement was more to change the subject than anything else. Brian wanted to know how much time they had, and Kevin assured him that it wasn't enough for what he had on his mind.

Unfortunately, in their own ribbing, Kathy made the fatal error of letting it slip that they were up late, and Brian latched onto it immediately. Kevin tried to play it off. I just smiled and shook my head. "He was doing me a favor," I covered, squeezing JC's hand when he started to blush.

"So what's on the gender for today?" Kathy interjected to change the subject.

"Well," I began, "obviously we need to head back to the house to pick up Justin. After that, we'll need to get rolling. It's about six hours down to the school. I would like to get there before we have to go straight into the dance."

"Exactly what are we supposed to do tonight?" Brian asked, perplexed.

"Just be yourselves," Kathy answered for me. "Though a song or two couldn't hurt Uncle Kevin's standing with the girls."

Uncle Kevin? I looked over at him, and I could tell by the look on his face that he wasn't sure whether or not he was supposed to be uncomfortable by that title. I thought about it for just a second, and the girls had no real aunts or uncles to speak of. I smiled at him, "Yeah, Uncle Kevin."

He grew more at ease when he realized that I was fine with it. "We'll do our best," he smiled, "but we're a few guys short of a boy-band."

"Not really," Kathy grinned. "There'll be four of you in all, and I'm sure you'll come up with something. Besides, it's not like you're gonna be the only attraction."

"You really know how to make a guy feel wanted," JC laughed.

"Like it'd work with you," she shot back. "Besides, there's only so many autographs you can sign before they have to go back to dancing."

Nate was about to say something when room service arrived with our breakfast. We all scarfed down the food, realizing that time was slipping by rapidly. Kevin and I finished first, so we headed down to check out while everyone else finished eating and got their things together. We were about to head back to the rooms when JC came down with our bags. Kathy was soon behind, and Nate and Brian were, predictably, last.

I tossed Kathy the keys after the valet brought the car around. JC pushed me into the middle seat, letting his hands linger a bit too long on my butt.

I looked behind me and returned his smile before pulling him against me. His chest pressed me squarely against the driver's side of the vehicle, and he rested his head on my stomach. I reached down the back of his shirt and out the side, grabbing his cell phone, since I couldn't reach mine. I dialed the number to the hotel by the girls' school that I always stayed in.

"Yes, this is Matt Hunter. I'm calling to confirm my reservations for five rooms."

"Seven," Kathy corrected. I looked at her befuddled, but she just nodded her head.

"Can I make that seven rooms?" I half-asked, half-stated. Kathy nodded again, so once the reservations were in place. "Why do we need seven rooms?"

"You, JC, Justin, Kevin, Brian, Nate, and me. That's a room for each of us," she explained.

"We only need five," I told her. "Josh and I and Nate and Brian will be sharing a room."

"That doesn't look good, sweetie," she smiled.

"I know, honey, but we could say that Brian and Kevin would be sharing a room and Josh and Justin would share."

"Oh, just keep the rooms. You never know when we might need them."

"Why?" JC laughed, "Expecting us to have a spat?"

"Shut up, JC," she laughed as we pulled into the driveway. We started to get out when JC and I realized that Nate and Brian still had their foreheads pressed together. Jesus, they'd been like that since after we pulled out of the parking lot.

JC got a funny look on his face. He grabbed them by the foreheads, separated them, then pushed them back together, saying that they didn't look right apart. I smacked him for being so mean. Nate pointed out that there was a less bothersome way to let them know we were home, but JC pointed out that it didn't bother him in the least.

Kathy used my keys to let us in, dropping them in my customary spot. JC looked around as we went in, for some reason expecting Justin to be here. I assured him that we would have heard had his plans changed. Kathy wanted to know how long we had, and looking at the clock, I approximated a few hours. Brian made a lame attempt to excuse he and Nate, and we just laughed as they headed back.

"Jesus!" we heard Nate yell. We all ran back to see what had happened. JC and I started laughing as we saw Justin standing outside, ready to rap on the glass, but motionless and speechless instead. I waved at him as Brian went to let him in.

"Does Justin know about them?" I whispered to JC.

"Not until just now," he whispered back. "Didn't want to get in their business like that." He gave me a wry smile and went to grab Justin's bag. He gave him a hug, and I walked over and did the same. I made the requisite introductions, and Justin and Nate made their unnecessary apologies.

"How come you didn't tell me?" Justin asked JC.

"It's none of your business," he laughed. "I wasn't going to tell you if they didn't want you to know, and I didn't get around to asking them about it."

Justin reassured them that he had no problem with it, which I couldn't help but think was completely unnecessary considering that they were hardly in a different situation than Josh and I. After that, the conversation pretty much descended into small talk.

While everyone else talked amongst themselves, I leaned over to Justin and kissed his cheek. "I missed you, Curly."

"Thanks," he smiled. "I missed you guys, too. Grandparents are great and all, but it was time to get out of there. I think I'll head back to Orlando when we get back."

I started to say something, but was interrupted by Nate's announcement of "Nice meeting you, Justin," as Brian pulled him to the bedroom. "You, too," he replied.

"As I was saying," I laughed at Justin, "you're more than welcome to come stay here."

"I don't wanna put you out," he smiled.

I pulled his arm around me and helped him to the couch. "Justin, really, it's no bother. It's not like I'm crowded for room. It's just Josh and I here. Besides, I know he misses seeing you. This is probably the longest you guys have been apart in years."

"Yeah, I'm sure his thoughts are on me," he grinned. "I don't wanna be an inconvenience."

"Is there any reason you have to go back to Florida right now?" He tapped on his cast. "And?"

"The last thing you need is me hobbling about. I'll be fine."

"You certainly will," I smiled, snatching his cell phone from his pocket. He tried to protest, but I held him back with my free arm. Predictably, the number I was looking for was in the speed-dial. "Hello, Lynn, it's Matt. I'm trying to talk our other boy into staying here with Josh and I, but it appears you've raised him too well, and he thinks he's not wanted. Would you try to straighten him out." I handed him the phone, "She wants to talk to you."

He rolled his eyes and took the phone. JC wrapped his arms around my waist, "As long as I'm the only one who gets to straighten you out."

I patted his wrist. "Absolutely," I smiled.

Kathy and Kevin grabbed us some coffee from the kitchen. "I don't want any, thanks," JC told Kevin as he handed him a cup.

Kevin started to return it to the kitchen, but I grabbed it from his hands.

"Sweetie, it's a long drive."

"I'm not driving," he announced with a smug look on his face.

"No, sweetie, you're not," I agreed, "but I am, and it'd be nice if you kept me company."

"Oh, alright," he sighed, taking the cup from me.

"Besides," Kathy cut in, "I can drive some of the way."

"See," JC pouted, "we both could have slept."

Justin pressed a button on his phone and look at me. "That wasn't right," he smiled.

"I know, but I wanted you to stay here," I smiled back.

"Then may I ask who's gonna help me take a shower? This cast kind of makes things difficult," he raised his eyebrow. "I was gonna go without today, but I don't think I can make a few weeks."

"Um, who's your best friend?" JC teased.

"You, stupid," he grinned.

"Josh and I will help you in any way we need to, Justin," I smiled. "I'm a nurse, remember? It's not like you've got anything I haven't seen before."

He started to blush as he scratched his shoulder. "Curly, do you need a shower?" JC laughed.

"Kinda," he admitted. "I slept late and didn't have time to get one before I came over."

"Would you like us to help you?" I grinned at his embarrassment. He squinted his eyes tightly and nodded his head, obviously preparing for the ridicule.

JC and I walked over to him and helped him up. As we walked towards the bathroom, I heard Kathy behind us, "Can we watch?" "NO!" resounded from all three of us, without so much as a glance.

We set Justin down on the edge of the tub while JC went to get some clothes from his bag. I started helping him ease his clothes off. "I'm sorry, Matt," he said sincerely.

"For what?"

"JC told me," he said simply.

"Oh," I managed, pausing from pulling off his shirt. I got my wits about me and finished, "I'm glad he did. I'm gonna be starting my treatments next week."

"Are you scared?" he asked me.

"Terrified," I admitted. "Honestly, that's one reason I want you to be here."

"Then I wouldn't dream of being anywhere else," he smiled.

"Are you two through now," I heard JC laugh, "or should I let you guys go at it on the bath mat?"

"Fuck you," I grinned, pulling Justin up so we could get his jeans off. JC came over to help, "You did, yesterday and last night--repeatedly."

Justin shuddered. "As much as I love you two, please don't ever share that conversation with me again."

I just laughed and startled him with the water. "Deal," I smiled as I pulled out the duct tape and garbage bags.

"What are those for?" JC asked.

"Duh," Justin stuck out his tongue. JC tried to grab it, but didn't make it.

"I'm wrapping his cast up so that it doesn't get wet," I explained, tearing the last piece off the roll.

"Oh," he said simply, obviously embarrassed. I patted his shoulder, and we helped Justin to his feet in the stall. He did most of the washing. JC and I were there mostly for support, helping to steady him. Honestly, as much as I thought of Justin as a friend, I couldn't help but admire his body. The boy was cut--not an ounce of fat anywhere, and a set of six-pack abs that most professional athletes didn't possess. I did try to respect his privacy, though, and my eyes rarely strayed below his waist. I helped him with his back while JC helped with his legs.

We got him out and helped him dry off. We slid him into a baggy pair of boxers and jeans. I thought JC was gonna pass out when I took a pair of scissors and virtually removed the jeans covering Justin's cast. Once we got a wife-beater and a high-top on him, we were ready to roll. Grabbing his crutches, we went back to the living room.

We got onto the couch as Nate walked past. He grabbed a glass of water or Sprite or something and headed back to the bedroom. 'That was brief,' I smiled to myself. He returned a few moments later, though, and conspicuously without Brian. Kathy asked if he'd worn him out. Nate told her that they hadn't been doing that, though I had my doubts since the bags they'd supposedly gone to tend to still occupied their same spots on the floor and the back of the recliners.

Kathy and Nate went into catty mode, teasing one another, but Kevin, as always, tried to save everyone from themselves. We'd all assumed that Brian was asleep, but Nate informed us that he was talking to his father. It didn't take a rocket scientist to see the expressions on Kathy and Kevin's faces. Justin, JC, and I caught it. I was wondering how much like my relationship with my own father Brian's was. He and Kevin talked for a minute, apparently oblivious to the fact that we were in the room. They told us it was a long story. Of that, I had little doubt.

Nate climbed off Kathy's lap and sat in front of Kevin's chair. Kevin looked down and asked if he was okay. He said he was, so Kathy started in again. He said he was tired, and even Kathy joined in on a little good-natured ribbing about his propensity to go to sleep at the drop of a hat when he was in a car. Apparently, his first ride with me must have been scary enough to keep him awake.

"Don't make me kick your ass in front of everyone, Kev," Nate smiled threateningly. "I mean, Justin just got here, and he doesn't need to see you take a beating right away."

Kathy thought Justin would enjoy it, but Justin assured us that he would not. On that note, Nate turned to Justin and asked why he was outside the window, and after a perfectly reasonable explanation, Nate said that he meant to ask if Justin knew about he and Brian. Justin pointed out that JC could have told him.

"I doubt it," JC smiled. "If I'd known this was going to happen, there's no way I would have told him, even if you had told me it was okay."

Justin made a dumb remark about how everyone was keeping that a secret. JC could barely hold water at that point, and called attention to how dumb a question it actually was. I just rolled my eyes at Kathy, thinking JC was being a bit harsh.

"I meant how could you keep a secret from me. No, I mean . . . ," he trailed off, looking at Kevin and Kathy's raised eyebrows.

"Quit while you're behind, Curly," JC laughed.

"I thought that was your job," he shot back. "No wait, you're a bottom, not a behind."

"Justin Timberlake!" I giggled, tossing a pillow square at his head. "You are horrible!"

"Actually," JC grinned. "He's pretty good. He's just jealous that you've got me instead of him."

"Oh, yeah," Justin rolled his eyes. "That's it. That's it exactly."

"Kevin's available," Kathy offered.

Without skipping a beat, he thumped her ear. "No, Kevin's not." I just had to laugh. In the diversion, we hadn't noticed Nate fall asleep against Kevin's knee. Kathy started to reach down and tickle him, from the looks of it, but Kevin stopped her. "Let him rest," he smiled.

I smiled at him and patted his shoulder as I walked back to the bathroom. The door to Brian and Nate's room was partially open. I glanced in to see Brian in a daze.

"You okay?" I asked him.

"Huh?" he spun around. "Yeah. . . no . . . not really . . . I don't know."

I walked in a bit further and rested a few fingers on his shoulder. "Something you want to talk about?"

"Not really," he forced himself to smile.

"Okay," I nodded. "Let me know if there's anything I can do."

I started to walk out, but he stopped me. "Matt, wait."

"Yeah?" I asked softly, walking back over and taking a seat on the bed. "Your dad?"

"Yeah. How'd you know?"

"Nate said that he was who you were talking to."

"Yeah. I haven't talked to him much lately."

"Are you two not close?" I asked him.

"No. I mean yes," he tried to explain. "I meant that no, that wasn't it. My parents are having a hard time adjusting to my 'decisions.'"

I nodded, "So I'm guessing your mom's the one who didn't take it so well?"

"Yeah," he looked up, kind of surprised. "How'd you know?"

"Well," I told him, "it's been my experience that usually one parent takes it much worse than the other, and since you're talking to your Dad, and Nate said you called him at the office . . . ."

"That obvious, huh?"

"Not really," I smiled. "I just pick up on little things like that."

"How'd your parents take it?" he asked me.

"Tough question," I sighed.

"Sorry," he smiled. "You don't have to answer if you don't want to."

"Oh, no," I laughed. "It's not that. It's not that I mind the question as much as I'm not sure I know the answer."

"Huh?"

There was that expression Nate loved so much. I just chuckled before things got too serious. "My only real relationship with a guy before JC was in high school. It turned out that my illness drove both him and my father off, so I don't think my father ever knew."

"Matt, I'm so sorry. What about your mother?"

"I never told her," I confessed, "but I think she knew. It seems like mothers just know."

He gave me a half-smile. "I'd say it's a safe bet that my mother was clueless."

"That bad?"

"Well, she wasn't happy when Nate went on tour with us, and she was even less happy when she found out about us."

"What happened?"

"She hit me," he said flatly, but when the words came out of his mouth, he recoiled like someone had hit him--like he was reliving it.

"Jesus, Brian," I exclaimed, pulling him in for a hug. "Are you okay?"

"Getting there," he nodded. Wiping the drainage from his nose, he looked at me, "You said you never told your mother. What happened to her?"

"She died of breast cancer many years ago."

"So you've raised the girls on your own ever since?"

I nodded. His eyes went wide with wonder. "How did you do it all?"

"Didn't have much of a choice," I admitted, "but from the moment I held the girls for the first time, all the doubts faded away."

"You love them that much?"

I nodded. "Just like your dad loves you." He smiled back at me, and I leaned over to kiss his forehead. "Give things time with your mom."

"I will," he tried to smile as we started back for the living room. Nate was exactly where we left him, though he was starting to rouse. "What are you doing, sweetie?" Brian teased.

I sat beside JC and Justin and just watched the silly banter between everyone else for the next few minutes. Justin rested his back against my shoulder while he played with the remote. JC had his head back on my other shoulder with his eyes closed. Nate was teasing Brian about liking Kevin, too, but Kevin told him to keep on imagining it, because it wasn't going to happen.

"That's it, Kev," I chuckled, "Make it a challenge for him. That'll get him to stop."

"You got to see him naked," Nate laughed. "I think it's only fair that I get the same opportunity."

Justin tore his attention from the television and looked at all of us. "Why did Matt get to see Kevin naked?"

"Because he got in the shower with him," JC laughed, nudging me.

"I thought it was you!" I cried in my defense. Kathy and Nate found that conversation a bit too funny, and we all just stared at them, but they just fanned us away. We were obviously not privy to whatever inside joke had them so amused.

"So who else have you seen naked?" Justin laughed.

"Well," I grinned, "besides you, there's Kevin, as you know, Kathy, Josh, of course, and just this morning, it was Nate."

"What?"

"Don't ask," Nate rolled his eyes.

"You've seen Kathy naked?" Kevin asked.

"I've only known her about two decades now," I reminded him. "When you're best friends with someone, those kind of insecurities kind of go screaming out the window."

"Oh, yeah," Brian laughed, "like Kathy's ever been that insecure."

She just rolled her eyes with her arms folded. "Keep it up, hick, and the only news you'll be making is when they find the body."

We all laughed, but I noticed how late it was getting. "We need to get rolling." Cutting my eyes over to Nate and Brian, "For those who haven't packed, now's the time." They grinned sheepishly and grabbed their things before heading back to the bedroom.

"All I've got's the one bag," Justin told me. "If I'm gonna stay here, I need to get the rest of my stuff from my grandparents'."

"No problem," I assured him. "We'll pick it up on our way back from the airport when I take the guys the day after tomorrow. Do you have enough to last until then?"

"Not a problem," he shook his head.

"Speaking of which," I continued as a though occurred to me, "Kevin, are you leaving the same time they are?"

"No," he shook his head. "I'm not heading out for a day or two later, if it's okay with you."

"You kidding?" I smiled.

He grinned in an effort not to blush. "Carrie just wanted to get some work done before I got up there."

"Ooh," JC smiled, "Kevvy gets to be the distraction now."

He reddened some more, just shaking his head. I noticed their bags behind them, so I knew that they were ready, as was Justin, of course. "Josh, honey?" I smiled.

"Yes, dear?" he cooed in return.

"We need to get some clothes packed," I reminded him.

"Alrighty," he smiled, grabbing me in a fireman's carry and hoisting me over his shoulders.

"This wasn't exactly what I had in mind," I pointed out.

"Funny," he laughed, "suits me fine." He dropped me on the bed and pounced on top of me. He gently ease his tongue into my mouth. I returned his embrace with eagerness. "I love you, you know?"

"I do know," I assured him, stroking his hair. "You're talking about this morning, aren't you?"

"Yeah," he sighed. "Kathy hit a nerve this morning. Guess I wasn't completely honest with you."

"Oh, please, like I'm one to throw stones. Josh, I've done nothing but sabotage our relationship in some misguided attempt to self-destruct before either one of us got hurt. You've been wonderful to me--much more wonderful than I deserve."

"Don't, Matt."

"Don't what?"

"Don't put yourself down like that."

"It's true, Josh. I've been closed-off, I've been secretive, and I've been unfair to you. For God's sake, I was getting mad at Nate for doing the very things I've been doing all along. How fair is that?"

"You're going through a lot, Matt."

"That's no excuse," I almost shouted. "I couldn't bring myself to tell you about my past with Rich or my cancer, for starters."

"But you did tell me," he smiled, brushing my hair out of my face.

"But what about my nervous breakdown at the doctor's office the other day?"

"What?"

"See," I sighed, "I'm not telling you all that I should. You're one of the most important people in my life, and I couldn't even bring myself to tell you that the realization of what was going on reduced me to hysterics."

Even as the tears started to fall, he pulled me against him. "You're telling me now."

"Don't you understand?" I cried. "I want to tell you everything. It kills me that I can't, and I can't come up with one fucking reason why."

"It's okay," he tried to soothe me.

"No, Josh, it's not," I pulled away from him. "You don't deserve that!"

"I don't deserve you?" he asked with hurt in his eyes.

"No, Josh, you don't," I said flatly. "You deserve much better."

"Why have you put me on a pedestal, damn it?" he asked angrily. "What part didn't you understand this morning?"

My head fell for a moment while I tried to choose my words, but he didn't give me that opportunity. "You were right about the Florence Nightengale Syndrome. As painful as it is for you to hear this, it's harder for me to say, but as long as we're leveling the playing field, you need to hear this as much as I need to say it. I used you."

"I know," I said, trying to choke back the tears.

"No, Matt, you don't. Craig was the most important person in the world to me. I could tell by your voice that first night that he left me. I hated him for abandoning me, and I knew the one thing that would destroy him if he were still alive. It's the one thing that would destroy me--if you were with someone else. I didn't use you to stop the hurt. I used you to cause it."

I sucked in sharply. I thought I was ready to hear anything, but that caught even me off guard. He didn't give me a chance to speak, he just kept going. "Does that make you feel better?" he asked harshly. "You seem to think you're the only fallible one here, and I assure you, you're not."

"Josh, . . . ," I began.

"Let me finish!" he interrupted. "I fell in love with you for all the wrong reasons, but I fell in love with you despite it all. Don't you see? I don't give a damn about the circumstances, I just want you to love me."

I pulled him into a tight embrace. "I do," I whispered to him. "God help me, I do. However we wound up together, I want to make this work. I want to do right by you."

"You will," he smiled. "Just be you. After all, it's you that I fell in love with. A love as deep, . . . ," he hesitated, "no, deeper, than anything I've ever known. Why don't we start over? No more secrets, no more deceptions, just honesty."

"Sounds good," I smiled, wiping a tear from his cheek. I kissed him gently on the lips before I started laughing.

"What?" he giggled.

"If we don't get back out there soon, we're gonna get the same treatment as Brian and Nate."

"Then what are we waiting for?" he laughed, jumping off the bed.

We got back to the living room where Justin and Kathy were watching television. Luckily, we beat Nate and Brian back. At least they would bear the brunt of the jokes about taking so long.

Right on cue, I heard Kevin yell from the hallway, "Found 'em making out in their room."

Also right on cue, Brian denied it. He and Nate antagonized Kevin for his uncanny ability to interrupt, but Kevin was obviously proud of himself.

"You know," Kathy smiled, "there was a time when Kevin was actually known to have some fun."

Kathy, Nate, and Brian just kept egging him on. Finally, red as a beet, he just told her, "Shut up."

"Let's go before Kathy destroys Kevin's reputation," I laughed as I walked out the door. JC and Kevin helped Justin while Nate and Brian gathered everyone's things.

Nate crawled in back, followed by Brian. Kathy climbed into the middle seat behind me, and JC and Kevin helped Justin into the passenger side of the back seat so that he could keep his leg outstretched. JC and Kevin hopped into their respective seats, and we were on our way.

I was watching the road when Nate asked a peculiar question about how much clothes everyone had packed. We all wondered why, so Brian explained that Nate had given him a hard time for bringing extra. The guys confirmed his rationale of being prepared if someone ripped off their clothes.

"It's true, Nate," JC smirked from beside me. "When you're this hot, you've got to expect stuff like that."

I just rolled my eyes, but Justin made no bones about laughing. "How would you know?" he giggled. "It's only happened to you once, and I still say they thought you were Lance."

"They knew it was me," he shot back

"I'm sure they did," I told him, trying not to laugh and lose control of the wheel as I patted his knee.

"Absolutely," Brian grinned.

"Without a doubt," Nate giggled.

"How could they not?" Kevin stifled in his laughter.

"It had to be you," Kathy agreed, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

"They knew!" he tried to pout. "I'm no albino!"

Justin threatened to tell Lance, which Kevin sweetened by telling him that Nate thought Lance was cute, as well. Then the children went ape, discussing that Brian had no worries because Lance was "normal" like Justin.

That was like gasoline on a bonfire, and every one of them had to get their potshots in. In truth, even I added a few zingers pointing out that I hardly considered Justin the poster-child for normalcy. We continued like that for miles, assured that Justin wasn't taking it too harshly, because he was laughing as much as the rest of us.

Before I knew it, Nate and Brian were asleep. I felt bad that we weren't really talking to Justin, but if JC and I had, it would have amounted to shouting across the vehicle. He didn't seem any the worse for wear, however, with his nose in the book and completely oblivious to everything else in the vehicle unless someone mentioned his name. It wasn't very long before the small talk was over.

"Matt?" Kathy said softly.

"Yeah?"

"Have you told the girls yet?"

I just shook my head while JC verbalized for me. "Not yet," he smiled, giving my hand a reassuring squeeze. "He talked to them last night."

"And?" she prodded.

"And what?"

"And what did they say?"

"What did they say to what? I just told you I haven't told them yet."

"Well, what did you say?"

"Nothing, really," I answered. "I woke them up, so I just told them that I loved them and to go back to sleep."

"Gee," she smirked, "that's not a big red flag that something's wrong."

I chuckled. "I think you're right. I'm pretty sure Colleen suspects something is wrong now."

"What about Caitlin?"

I shook my head. "I didn't talk to her. She was asleep."

"Cram session?" Kathy smiled.

"Yeah," I nodded. "I need to tell them, but at the same time, I don't want to ruin this weekend for them. It's so important to them."

"So are you," Kevin smiled.

I forced myself to smile at that. "I'm thinking about telling them tomorrow morning. We can have breakfast together before we head back."

Kathy got out of her seat and hugged me tightly. "It'll be okay," she assured me. "Promise."

I hoped that was a promise she could keep, but I just wasn't sure. I started giggling, and she was the first to verbalize her concerns as to 'what the hell was wrong with me.' "Y'all are depressing," I laughed.

"Are we bringing you down, baby?" JC grinned.

I hesitated before answering, not knowing where this was going. "Yes, you are."

The look in his eyes was one of sly cunning. After looking around, he climbed into my lap, resting his back against the steering wheel. He kissed me with a fierceness I was unaccustomed to, causing me to close my eyes and pull my hands from the wheel and run them along his back. He tugged on my bottom lip with his teeth, and I almost ran off the road.

"All right, you two," I heard Kathy say as she climbed into JC's seat, reaching over to steady the wheel.

JC started unbuttoning my shirt and slid his hand down the front of my pants. Justin put down his book and cocked an eyebrow at us. With a head shake of disbelief, he just smiled and started egging JC on.

"I thought you didn't like to watch," I reminded him.

"Normally, I don't," he laughed, "but just this once, I'll make an exception."

"Voyeur!" I hurled as I felt the gas pedal slip from beneath my quivering leg.

"That's enough," I heard Kevin chuckle as he reached past both JC and I to the cruise control, pressing the button so it would engage. "I'd prefer to arrive in one piece."

"Spoilsports," JC laughed, sticking out his tongue, just long enough for Kevin to grab it.

"Save it for your boyfriend," he grinned. He pulled Kathy under his arm with his free hand and pushed her against the seat. "And don't you even think about encouraging them, blondie."

JC swatted his hand away and returned to his seat just as Justin and Kathy both chimed in, "BLONDIE!?!"

"Oh, shut up, Justin," I laughed. "It's not like you're a real blonde."

"And how would you know?" he grinned.

"Definitely too much peroxide," JC laughed. "Curly, how many hours ago did we help you take a shower?"

Defeated, he just shook his head. "I'm going back to my book, you horn dogs. Y'all ain't right."

"Actually," I smiled, "we're doing just fine."

"Whatever," he rolled his eyes as he turned the page.

We all laughed a bit more as I returned my attentions to the road. Kathy and Kevin were engaged in their own conversation, and JC offered his input every once in a while. Looking back at Justin, Brian's head had come to rest on Justin's shoulder, and he was proceeding to drool on him. Justin rolled his eyes. Kathy grabbed her camera and snapped a few shots.

"Ew!" I moaned. "Justin's some cheap boy-band member's slobber napkin."

"Better than the bodily fluids you've got coming out of your boy-band member," he retaliated without tearing his eyes from his book.

"Justin Randall Timberlake!" JC yelled. "That was disgusting."

"Your point?" he asked, again without looking up.

"I'm proud of you," JC and Kathy said in unison, and we all broke out in laughter again.

"You're having a horrible influence on that child," Kevin laughed.

"Oh, yeah," JC rolled his eyes, "I'm responsible for all that corruption."

"Hell, I'll take the credit," Kathy offered.

"He's not that bad," I laughed. "Yet."

Kathy turned around and talked to Nate, who'd awakened sometime during the laughter. She alleviated his concerns about missing such a Kodak moment before proceeding to tease him about their obvious lack of energy. She asked him if he wanted some of the snacks they'd bought last night, and when he did, she handed him a bag of chips. She pointed out that they had neglected to buy drinks, though, which was why no one else had eaten them. He wondered how they'd managed to miss that.

"I blame Matt," Kathy smiled triumphantly.

"Hey!" I squinted. "How come it's my fault?"

"Your car," came the reply from every conscious occupant of the car.

"You might want to bear that in mind, chick, before you find out how long a walk it is to Louisiana," I said just low enough for Kathy to hear. She just smiled and turned back to Nate.

They broke into a conversation I only picked up bits and pieces of about Brian and his parents. Brian had already told me the bulk of it earlier, and what I did manage to hear just filled in the blanks. JC said a few words every now and then, but mostly he just listened. I could tell from the expression on his face how lucky he felt that his parents hadn't reacted similarly.

Once the topic fell into silence, I took a turnoff so that we could get some gas and some drinks. Nate woke Brian up with a "Wakey, wakey" from Kathy. JC and I hopped out to stretch our legs.

"Everyone," Nate yelled, "I have to pee."

Kevin shook his head and muttered something under his breath as he climbed out, grabbing Justin's crutches and helping him out.

"Thanks, Kev," Justin smiled as he braced the crutches under his armpits.

"No problem," he smiled back.

I walked around to that side from the front and cuffed Kathy around the head, putting my keys in her hand. "You're driving the rest of the way. I'm tired."

Being the drama queen she is, she gave an exasperated sigh, and I could have sworn I heard a "If someone hadn't been up all night doing the deed with their boyfriend, . . ." muttered under her breath. I just shook my head and ignored it. I asked who was going in and who was staying outside. All of our resident musical geniuses elected to stay outside to avoid being recognized, with the exception of JC.

"I don't know if that's a good idea," Justin grinned. "You know how popular Lance is."

"You're just itching to have another broken leg, aren't you, Curly?" JC threatened.

"Well, I do happen to have brought my private nurse with me," Justin laughed, giving me a wink.

"Your private nurse is sleeping with the enemy," Nate smiled before reminding us that he was going in, as if we needed any reminders that he needed to empty his bladder after that announcement in the car.

Kathy concurred, on "the going in thing," not "the pee thing," as she so eloquently pointed out.

"You girls have fun, then," Kevin laughed.

Nate went into screaming queen mode, to which Brian responded by threatening to have Justin separate the two of them with his crutch. Justin immediately told them to leave him out of this with a laugh.

Seeing as Kevin wasn't gonna play grown-up in this little scene, I decided I would give it a shot. I tried to look disappointed as I announced, "Let's just go and get something to drink." The seriousness didn't last long, so JC and I walked on ahead. I saw Kathy stop Nate behind us out of the corner of my eye. I looked back to make sure everything was all right, and she waved me on. I figured Nate was about to get a dose of what we had gotten earlier.

They came in laughing just a moment or two later, so I asked what they were laughing about. Kathy said not to worry, that they were only deciding who was going to steal JC away from me. JC said that, without a doubt, it would be Nate.

"Excuse me?" I raised an eyebrow. JC made a lame excuse about Nate having more character. I let him know in no uncertain terms that I knew what Nate could offer that Kathy couldn't. "And remind me to kick your ass later," I smiled at him. Turning to Nate and Kathy, "And yours, and yours, as well."

They just ignored me with a grin as they grabbed some drinks and headed for the register. Apparently, the voices in Nate's head carried on an exchange about whether we had enough drinks. They apparently decided we did not, so he went back for some more. Nate quickly paid for everything, knowing full well that I would have had I beaten him to the punch.

Kevin was hanging out the front passenger seat when we returned while Brian compared hospital experiences. JC asked Nate if he would mind if we sat in back with Justin, which, of course, he did not, citing that they could sleep anywhere, to which Kathy responded with a reminder that they wouldn't be able to get much rest tonight if they continued to sleep all day. Somehow, I think that was kind of the idea.

"Well then," Nate smiled, "I guess we'll just have to find something to keep us occupied, won't we?"

I could hear the gears turning in JC's head even before he said that maybe he'd sleep instead of talking to Justin. Nate laughed and said that was fine as long as he didn't drool on him, which he called "Brian's job." Brian caught that and wanted to know what job he was talking about. Nate told him, and Brian denied it before asking Justin if it was true. Justin smiled, and Kathy assured him it was on film for his verification later. Brian was understandably getting fed up with the pictures, but Nate just soothed it over with a particularly weak comment.

"Let's get on the road before they're going at it in the parking lot," Kathy laughed.

JC and I climbed into the back-seat with Justin as Kathy steered us back onto the interstate. "How's the leg, Curly?" I asked Justin.

"Itches like hell, and it's cold," he smiled. A little concerned, I leaned over pinched his toes to assess the circulation. To my relief, everything was just as it should have been. "What was that for?"

"Making sure you didn't have something called compartment syndrome," I answered.

"That sounds bad," JC commented.

"It is," I replied.

"I don't have that, do I?" Justin asked, a little unnerved.

"No," I smiled, "the only reason your foot is cold is because your toes are uncovered."

"Well, duh," Brian commented. "Even I could have told you that."

I just smiled at him. "Brian, sweetie, can I see your arm?"

He knew I was up to something, but he outstretched it anyway. I jabbed a knuckle into a pressure point, causing his whole arm to go numb as an instantaneous jolt of pain shot up to his shoulder.

"Ow!" he cried. "He's picking on me."

"Don't look at me," Nate chuckled. "You got yourself into this one. You can get yourself out. Besides, that looked like it hurt."

"It did," Brian laughed.

"Then I'm not messing with him," Nate grinned.

"Smart boy," I smiled. "Now will you put your freak on a leash?"

"Who you callin' a freak?" Brian smiled, trying to act insulted.

"You want some more of this?" I mock-threatened.

"Well," he grinned, "maybe if this whole thing with Nate doesn't work out . . . ."

"Forget it," I shook my head. "If I'm trading in JC for a Backstreet Boy, your cousin's got first dibs."

"Who the hell said I wanted them?" I heard Kevin laugh from up front.

"You know you want me, Boo," I cooed. "Besides, it's already been established that you play for our team."

"It has not!" he said shocked.

"What about all the naked JELL-O wrestling with Nate?"

"There was no JELL-O involved!" he shot back, instantly aware of the opening he'd given me.

"Okay, so you settled for naked wrestling, then. If you're really good, we'll go at it tomorrow, and I'll bring some baby oil."

"I'm definitely getting pictures of that," Kathy smirked from behind the wheel. "Me, too!" Nate cheered. Kevin just hung his head and grabbed the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger.

"Are they picking on you, Boo?" Justin asked with his bottom lip stuck out in a pout.

"Yes!" he shouted, without even looking up.

"Come back here, and Curly'll make it all better," JC chirped.

Justin's jaw dropped, and I really thought Brian was going to fall out of his seat in laughter. Justin's brow furled. "Keep it up, Skinny," he growled, holding up his crutch, "and Matt won't be the only one sticking long, uncomfortable things up your hole."

"I told you he wanted me," JC grinned at me. Brian came unglued.

"I give up," Justin shook his head.

"Ooh," I purred. "Submissive. I like that. Who's got handcuffs?"

"Not me," Brian grinned from ear to ear. "Nate won't go for those."

"You can borrow mine," Kathy offered from the front seat.

"Very funny," Justin sulked.

"Who said she was kidding?" Kevin smiled.

"I didn't know you were into that sort of thing, Kev," I grinned. "This changes my whole image of you."

"Yeah," Nate laughed. "Something with a leather harness and a gag in his mouth."

"Exactly," I smiled.

"Been there, done that," Kathy chuckled as Kevin smacked her on the leg, earning a yelp.

"Somehow," Nate grinned, "I'm not surprised. Kathy always struck me as the dominatrix . . . I mean, domineering type."

Kathy smiled into the rearview mirror. "Keep it up, and I'm gonna show you some of the interesting uses for stilettos I've come up with."

Brian looked like he was gonna be sick. "Please tell me Kevin had nothing to do with that."

Kevin just shook his head while the rest of us started into hysterics. "What, Brian?" Justin stifled amongst his laughs. "Does that image bother you?"

"Yes," he answered immediately.

"Damn," Nate laughed. "And here I was getting primed for a threesome with you two."

"Oh, hell," JC laughed, "I'll settle for watching the two of them. The whole kissing cousins thing just does something for me."

"Does something for me, too," Kevin commented, pretending to gag.

"You need to work on that, Kev," Nate giggled.

"Absolutely, boo," I struggled, trying to breathe. "Suppress that gag reflex, and you'll be able to swallow much better."

"I'm going to sleep now," Kevin announced, shaking his head.

"Me, too," Brian smiled. "This is too sick, even for me."

"Not me," Nate offered helpfully.

"Me, neither," I shook my head. Turning to JC, "You?"

"Nope," he smiled. "Kathy?"

"Hell, I'm trying to figure out how to sell tickets," she laughed.

I looked over at Justin. He just looked back at me. "Don't even drag me into this," he tried not to smile. "I'm just trying to read my book."

"I'll get you, my pretty," I teased in my best Wicked Witch voice before tickling him mercilessly. JC joined in, too, and Justin was red from laughing so hard before we were through.

Besides a not entirely unexpected yet somehow still tastelessly inappropriate comment from Kathy, the next stretch of road was silent. Nate fell asleep against Brian, and Brian sat there quietly looking at him and stroking his hair before he, too, fell asleep.

Another few miles down the road, and everyone but Kathy and I had joined him. I didn't sleep in cars much. I guess all the car accidents I'd seen in my life kept me in ever-vigilant mode. After another hour or so of driving, a cell phone rang, and I couldn't help but laugh when all the guys instinctively went for them. At the same time, it struck me as kind of sad.

I shook it off quickly, and eased JC's phone to my ear before it rang a second time (maybe third). "Hello?"

"Who's this?" came the reply.

"This is JC's phone."

"Matt?"

"Um, yeah."

"Hey, this is Heather."

"Oh, hey! Sorry, I didn't recognize the voice."

"S'alright. My big brother around?"

"Yeah, he is. He's asleep with his head on my shoulder at the moment. You want me to wake him."

"In a minute. First, I want to know how things are going with you two."

"Good," I said as I nodded, somewhat surprised at the admission.

"I'm glad to hear it. I called Justin's house to find out from him since I thought he was heading back to Orlando, but Paul told me he was staying around Memphis."

"Yeah, he's been with his grandparents, but today, I talked him into staying with us."

"That's great. Is he there, too?"

"Whose head do you think is one my other shoulder?" I laughed.

"Okay, then," she laughed. "I guess I should talk to lunkhead now, though."

"Okay, then. Here he is. Good talking to you."

"You, too," she agreed. "See you soon."

"Really?" I pulled the phone back to my ear when I realized that she wasn't saying that in the casual, empty way people normally said it.

"Yeah. That's actually what I need to talk to him about. The folks want to see him, and I figured that kind of included you. Since you said that Justin's staying with you, too, if it's not an inconvenience, the family could come down and get a hotel room."

"No problem at all. You're welcome to stay with me, in fact."

"I'll bear it in mind," I could hear her smile. "Now wake up sleeping ugly."

"Okay, hang on." I put the phone in my lap and gently nudged JC's head with my own. "Hey, sleeping ugly!"

"Wha?" he managed.

"Heather's on the phone."

"Kay," he muttered as he sat upright. I handed him the phone. I tried not to eavesdrop, but I got the gist that she was telling him the same things that she had told me. When he realized I had no problem with it, he succinctly agreed.

Kathy looked back at me with a 'Is everything okay?' look, and I nodded with a smile. She focused on the road again just as I heard him tell Heather goodbye. He hung up the phone and put it back in my lap. Clasping his hands in his lap, he laid his head on my shoulder again. "Mom and Dad want to meet you," he mumbled. "So they're coming down with Heather and TJ next week if you're sure it's okay/"

I smiled. He hadn't even opened his eyes when he said that. I was quite certain, actually, that he was already asleep, but I answered anyway, "That's fine, sweetie. I'd love to meet them." When he gave no reply, I rested my head against his and managed to sleep.

"Hey," Justin smiled. "Sleep well?"

"Yeah," I grinned. "And you?"

"Yeah," he chuckled. "Didn't mean to do a Brian impression."

When I didn't catch his reference, he pointed to the damp spot on the right shoulder of my shirt. I really hadn't noticed. "No problem," I smiled, pinching his cheek. "Coming from someone so cute, it ain't so bad."

He just rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Does Josh know you hit on everything that moves?"

"Yes, he does," JC snorted from my left shoulder. I pushed his head upright as he opened his eyes. "But I overlook it."

"That's good," I grinned, kissing him. "I'm hungry."

"Well, if you had snacked with the rest of us . . . ," he added with particular dramatic effect.

"Shut up," I laughed. "Are there any more chips?"

"Kevin had them, last I saw of them," Justin answered.

"Okay," I smiled, carefully stepping over his leg and crawling past Nate and Brian.

"What the hell are you doing?" Kathy asked me when I scared her with my sudden appearance.

"Getting some chips," I replied, looking around for the bag.

"In the floor, by Kevin's feet," she pointed out. I saw the Dorito's between his feet, resting against the calf of his leg. I crawled over him and reached for it, at which time Kathy thought she saw something running across the road and slammed on the brakes. I, as she had intended, lost my balance and fell onto his lap. Kevin awoke with a start to see my embarrassment.

"What's this?" Nate laughed. "I go to sleep for a few hours, and I wake up to find that Kevin has switched teams on me and wound up with Matt. Who the hell'd want to sleep with him anyway?"

"I would," JC and Brian answered in unison.

"Excuse me?" Nate turned to Brian.

"Well?" Brian grinned.

"Yeah," Justin laughed. "If it had to be one of the two of you, it'd definitely be Matt."

"Now wait just a damn minute," Nate tried not to laugh.

"I think so, too," Kevin grinned, giving me a wink.

I gave him a smile and grabbed some chips out of the bag and tossed them into Nate's face. "So nah!" I challenged.

"You are all so dead," he threatened.

"What are you gonna do about it?" I said in a mocking tone. "It's not my fault if you've failed to hold even the straight guys' attention."

"Keep it up, Nancy Nurse, and you and me are gonna throw down," he nodded in defiance.

"Ooh," I taunted, "awfully ethnic all of the sudden. Maybe you could give Justin some pointers."

"Hey!" Justin exclaimed.

"That's what you get for picking him," Nate shot behind him.

"As for your threat of throwing down," I reminded him, "for starters, I'm not interested in a roll in the hay with some Eskimo. I do have standards," I paused for a second, watching him try to mask his laughter with feigned anger and some lame comment about my lack of cultural sensitivity, "and if you're threatening physical violence, I'm not intimidated. Kevin already said you hit like a bitch."

"Hey!" came Kevin's reply. "Leave me out of this!"

"Oh, shut up," Nate told him. "You know you'd give anything to be sandwiched in the middle of Matt and I." Kevin turned crimson. "And as for you," he turned his attentions back towards me, "don't say you weren't warned." With that, he lunged at me, pinning me against Kevin.

I inhaled sharply and used my position to my advantage, forcing him backwards against Brian, earning a protest from him, at which point both of them tackled me. I managed to slip most of my body free and tried to hurtle the seat so that I could get back to JC for some backup. I had almost cleared the obstacle when the two of them made a grab for me, knocking me into Justin. More specifically, I landed with my entire body weight on his broken leg. He yelped out, immediately trying not to appear in too much pain.

"Oh, God, Justin," I managed to overcome my speechlessness. "I am so sorry."

"It's okay," he said, short of breath.

"Justin, are you okay?" Nate asked, looking very guilty.

"Yeah," he managed, sounding more like himself. "Just stung for a second. It's fine."

"Are you sure?" Brian asked, almost to the brink of tears.

"Positive," he smiled, patting Brian's shoulder. "Don't give it another minute's thought."

"I feel bad," I pouted to him.

"Stop it, woman!" he laughed at me.

I fought the grin emerging on my face. I reached over and grabbed him by his shirt and pulled him just close enough to kiss him. Instead, I pulled him just fractions of an inch away from me. Staring at him intently for a moment, I smiled, "You want me, don't you?"

"You suck!" Justin laughed.

"I'll say," JC grinned, earning an elbow from me.

"Come on," I told Justin as I shifted in my seat, motioning for JC to do the same.

"I'm not doing you in the back-seat," Justin grinned.

"Don't be ridiculous," I said flatly before cracking a smile. "I'll wait until the hotel tonight to take advantage of you." He rolled his eyes until I told him to come on again, maneuvering the three of us so that Justin could rest his injured leg in mine and JC's laps. JC tickled his toes for a minute before both of them fell asleep again, JC's head returning to its place on my shoulder. Looking ahead, I noticed that everyone but Kathy had done the same. I just looked out the windows and watched as the miles between us and the hotel disappeared.

When we got to the hotel, Kathy woke Kevin up, and the two of them came around to let the rest of us out. Nate rubbed his eyes, and Brian outstretch his arms, both of them trying to regain their bearings. Kevin took Justin's crutches, obviously intending on helping him as he had before, but Nate and Brian insisted on doing it, presumably because they still felt bad about our wrestling match earlier. I looked over to find JC asleep with his head resting on the seat back. His mouth was open wide in that sleep-breathing mode, so I planted my mouth atop his and slid my tongue inside, intending on waking him up much the same way that Nate had awakened Brian earlier.

After my ahem 'rousing' success and yet another inappropriate comment from Kathy, we grabbed our luggage from the car. I grabbed Justin's bag, as well as my own, as we went through the usual deliberations about who was going inside to register. Finally, I grabbed the two closest people to me--Kevin and Kathy--and started pushing us towards the door.

When we got inside, I went to the desk and went through the check-in process. I took the key to two of the rooms, one for JC and I and one for Justin. Kevin took one for himself and one for Brian and Nate. I handed the rest of the keys to Kathy--one for her and the other two rooms she curiously wanted me to keep.

Luckily, our rooms were just a short walk from where we had parked, so after we got back outside, we gathered everyone else as well as our things and started walking. Making sure Justin was close-by, JC and I entered our room, which adjoined with his. I hung his clothes on the hangers and put the rest in the drawers. After getting him settled on the bed with the remote control in hand, JC and I lied down on our bed to rest for a few minutes. We really didn't have that long--maybe an hour, tops, before we'd have to get to the school if I wanted to spend any time with them before the dance. I thought about letting everyone rest a little more while I went on ahead, but I knew Kathy would kill me. Since she and I were the only two who knew how to get to the school from here, with the possible exception of Kevin, I knew that wasn't a very plausible idea.

JC and I left the door between the rooms open, in case Justin needed anything and since we had no intentions of getting that romantic given the time constraints. I crawled into the bed next to him, curling up against his chest as it rose and fell while he rubbed my back. Neither of us said a word for the longest time. I just laid there, listening to his heartbeat until a knock came at the door. Kathy and Kevin were dressed a little fancier than the shorts and tees they were wearing earlier. Kathy wanted to know how long we had, and checking the time, we needed to leave in the next twenty minutes or so. They went around to the coke machine to get some drinks while we got dressed.

Justin had fallen asleep, so JC and I changed clothes first. Justin woke fairly easily, much easier than JC, in fact, and we got him out of his traveling clothes as well. When we caught up with everyone, Kathy was blushing, and Kevin was out of breath. I started to ask, but Kathy's eyes shot daggers, telling me to leave it alone. Hesitantly, I did, and we piled back in the car before heading to the school.

The gate guard checked my ID, and we were let onto the school grounds. I parked outside their dormitory, and we all went inside. We were shown into the sitting room downstairs while one of the students fetched the housemother.

"Mr. Hunter," the rotund woman greeted me with a handshake.

"Sister Marie," I greeted her. She'd always reminded me of Kathy Najimy in Sister Act. I kept expecting her to belt out some high notes at any moment.

Her dark complexion and slightly French accent gave her away as a Creole, and the girls said that any doubt was gone when she cooked.

"Kathy!" she greeted with a smile. I just shook my head. Kathy was on a first name basis with everyone. "Good to see you again. You, too, Mr. Richardson."

Kevin nodded, and she looked to the rest of the group before looking to me for introductions. Obviously, she wanted to know who she was expected to let into the rooms of her students. Picking up on that, "Sister Marie, this is JC Chasez, Justin Timberlake, Brian Littrell, and Nate Healy."

"A pleasure, to be sure," she smiled at them. "I'm sure the girls in this house are already buzzing with all of you here."

I was almost surprised that she recognized them, but she gave us a knowing grin. "I'm housemother to over a hundred teenage girls. I assure you, I'd forget my own family before they allowed me to forget who any of you are. Now, I know you didn't drive all the way down here just to talk to me, so why don't I escort you up to the girls' room?"

I could see the hesitancy in her eyes when we reached the stairs. She tried to inconspicuously motion me towards Justin's cast. He caught it immediately. "Why don't I wait down here?"

"Bullshit," I said, instantly on the receiving end of a chastising stare. "Sorry, Sister." I handed Kathy Justin's crutches and crossed my arms, demonstrating for JC to do the same. He did, and I interlocked our arms. Everyone was looking at me like I had lost my mind, but Kevin caught the gist of the maneuver and lifted Justin onto our arms. Everyone just laughed as JC and I carried him up the stairs with everyone else in tow.

Kathy knocked on the door to the suite, and Margaret, one of the girls' suite-mates, answered the doors. The recognition on her face was instantaneous. The scream almost knocked us down. Unfortunately, when she remembered that she had answered the door in her slip. Mortified, she crossed her arms in front of her like she was trying to hide something, then ran, screaming again, out of the room.

Colleen came out of their bedroom with a smile on her face, obviously making the connection between the commotion and her expected visitors. I had never seen Colleen look as grownup as she did in that moment. Though not even twelve, they normally looked like high school students. As scary as it was, she looked exactly like her mother had the day we got married. Her hair was up in a very elegant fashion, and when she entered the room, she was inserting one of the earrings that Ashley had worn that very day. The same pearls were even fastened around her neck. She looked radiant in the violet silk number that hung on her so classically. When she smiled at me, the piercing eyes that they'd inherited from me absolutely sparkled. She was absolutely breathtaking.

"Hi, Dad," she smiled, after putting the stud behind her lobe. She leaned in to kiss me. She greeted Kathy as well with one of those pseudo-hugs that women give each other when they don't want to ruffle the other's dress. She greeted Kevin, JC, and Justin with a kiss as well. She offered her hand to Brian with an introduction, expecting a handshake. Ever the gallant, Brian brought it too his lips and kissed it.

I smiled, trying to decide whether to be impressed or amused. "Honey, this is Brian and Kevin's friend, Nate. Nate, this is Colleen. You'll meet the smartass in a minute." They exchanged pleasantries that were rudely interrupted by a scream of "KATHY!" from the other room.

"Excuse me," Kathy laughed, "I've been beckoned."

Colleen rolled her eyes. "I take it she needs some help with her makeup."

Kevin played catch-up with Colleen while the others got to know her a little better. I gave JC a squeeze on his shoulders and walked past the chair where we had placed Justin. I walked back to find Caitlin in a frantic rush. She was dressed in a much flashier black number with gold accents. Her hair was drawn back into a tight braid. She looked every bit as physically mature as her sister, but Colleen carried an unspoken grace in her manner. She could be a fun-loving kid of her age when she wanted, but most of the time, I stood in quiet wonder at what an old soul she was.

Caitlin was fastening her great-grandmother's diamond necklace while Kathy finished with the lipstick, handing her a tissue to blot with. I probably would not have approved in them using makeup and dressing so adult, but considering that they were in school with girls so many years older who looked and acted like that all of the time, I relented. Caitlin gave me a kiss, leaving a telltale mark on my cheek I didn't know about.

When we got back inside, Margaret had returned a bit more presentable and was duly ogling the guys, particularly Justin. Besides being a captive audience, he now had the sympathy vote, as if he'd ever really needed it before. Nate was in a corner, happy to be anonymous again, by all appearances, slipping a remark to Brian only every now and then.

"Should I be jealous?"

"Huh?" I echoed in the same whispered tone. JC reached up and wiped the lipstick from my cheek with a smile. I gave him a subtle smile before turning my attentions back to the girls, where Lydia, the other suite-mate, had joined them.

Nate, Kathy, and I sat back and watched the comedy unfold again as the new girls tried to endear themselves to the guys. I leaned over and asked Colleen when their dates were arriving. She told me that all of the guys were from a nearby school, and would be in the great hall when we got there.

"Well," I said, "that being the case, may I have the honor of escorting you?" I extended my crooked arm. Colleen wrapped her arm around mine.

"No offense, Dad," Caitlin cringed, "but could they escort us in?"

I forced myself to smile. "Sure." I hoped no one could see through me to how much that stung, but I did understand. Somehow, though, that didn't help much. Kathy knew it instantly and gave me a sympathetic smile. Surprisingly, so did Colleen, who asked me if I was okay. "It's okay, honey. Go ahead. Why don't you go with JC?"

JC extended his crooked arm in the same fashion that I had, and Colleen took it after kissing my cheek. Kevin made the same motion to Caitlin. Lydia was closest to Brian, so he took her hand. Margaret didn't need any encouragement to stay inside Justin's personal space. Nate took Kathy's arm with his best Southern accent.

"Hey!" I protested. "Who does that leave me with?"

"Me," Sister Marie said from the door behind me. "You girls need to get going." I smiled and took her arm, placing my hand over hers. Nate laughed and told me I had the pleasure of the company of Justin's other crutch as well. I rolled my eyes, and we walked across the covered walkway that connected this floor with the great hall.

The minute we entered the room, all eyes were on the guys. I tried not to chuckle to myself, since I knew that this was exactly what would happen. JC shot me a look like, "You owe me for this one--big time!" I just smiled and nodded at him, giving a silent promise to pay him back.

The girls pointed out their dates, and their celebrity escorts led them to them. Colleen caught the look I gave her. Her date looked to be at least fifteen, and Caitlin's looked sixteen. Caitlin even noticed, which was a surprise--she was normally so oblivious to when I was upset. She indirectly motioned to Lydia's date. I was definitely going to have to have a talk with Caitlin.

Lydia was the senior suite-mate. To begin with, I wasn't her father. In the second place, a seventeen-year-old girl and an eighteen-year-old guy did not strike me as a couple to be concerned about. Those were Caitlin's usual tactics--distract all negative attention from herself. I smiled to myself, thinking how unlike one another those two were in personality. Kathy subtly cleared her throat, drawing my gaze. When our eyes met, she was silently telling me to let it go and let them have fun tonight. She was probably right. Things were about to get hard enough on them without playing Uber-Dad.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw where Nate had staked his claim at one of the tables, so I bowed in the like fashion of the evening and escorted Kathy to a chair. We just sat by in amusement as the guys were smothered by hundreds of girls, leaving a bunch of teenage guys standing around to stew in their most recent reason to hate the boy-band phenomenon. I caught a couple of the boys staring at the guys, and while a few of them just had that star-struck appearance, a few others were looking on in an interest that was a little deeper. I grinned and pointed out a few of them to Nate, who immediately laughed with me. When Kathy asked us what was up, we told her she was out of luck since she was without the benefit of gaydar.

The DJ was intently spinning records on the turntable, but there was very little dancing going on. He looked a little left out, and Sister Marie caught it. She walked back over to us and asked if we thought the guys would mind performing. We shrugged our shoulders and told her that we doubted it, but we'd have to ask them. It struck me as odd that there were instruments on the stage. I attributed it to the fact that they were probably considering a band first, before they decided on a DJ. I asked Sister Marie to tear the guys from their adoring fans so we could ask them.

When the guys got over to the table, JC sat beside me, forcing Kathy over, and placed his hand on my leg underneath the tablecloth. Colleen squeezed in between Nate and I, while Caitlin sat between Kevin and Kathy. I looked at them with a questioning look, considering their dates were standing right behind them. Colleen caught it and asked them to get them some punch. With the convenient absence of onlookers, I asked JC, "Sweetie?"

"Yes, dear?" he answered with a plastered grin.

"Would you sing for me?"

"Not tonight, dear, I have a headache," he laughed. I reached under the table, grabbed his thumb and locked it backwards, pushing his hand back into his lap. "Me, too," I grinned.

"No fair," he pouted. "That's blackmail."

"Your point?" I smiled.

"Any requests?" he laughed.

"Hey!" Justin laughed. "What do I get out of this?"

I started to answer, but JC clasped his hand over my mouth and answered, "My undying gratitude."

"That's not enough," he smirked.

"Okay," I laughed. "You can sleep with us."

"No, he can't," JC immediately commented.

"Hey!" Justin smiled. "Matt, I accept."

"Okay," Caitlin rolled her eyes. "This is getting to be too much. First, JC, now, Justin. Anybody else I should know about?"

I fought a grin as I met Nate's eyes. I looked over to see Colleen watching me. She probably picked up on it, but if she did, she didn't show it. When the girls' dates got back to the table, JC stood up. "Why don't you girls introduce us?" he asked. They absolutely glowed, grabbing their dates' hands and dragging them towards the stage. I looked at JC and smiled. He knew how much that meant to them, but I don't think he had any idea how much his gesture meant to me.

"What are we gonna sing?" Brian asked.

"How about we sing a few of our songs where Justin and I are lead vocals, and you guys can back us up? Then we'll do the same for you."

"Sure," Kevin agreed, helping Justin to his feet. "Let's just figure out what we're singing."

With that, the guys made their ways along the same path as Caitlin and Colleen. Colleen stepped up to the mike as the DJ faded out the song that was currently playing. "Can I have your attention please?" It only took a few seconds for the noise to quiet to a hush. "We have a special treat for everyone tonight. Some friends of our father were in town, and they were nice enough to make an appearance here tonight. After a little prodding, they're making their way to the stage to perform for us. Without further ado, please welcome JC Chasez and Justin Timberlake of *NSYNC . . . ."

Caitlin jumped in, eager to not be left out, "And Kevin Richardson and Brian Littrell of the Backstreet Boys."

The place erupted in applause, and for the first time, I realized just how many people were in here. There must have been close to a thousand kids in here. I hoped everyone behaved, because if they didn't, our chances of getting the guys out of here in one piece were slim and none.

After they quickly checked the mikes, Justin starting crooning, "Can this be true? Tell me can this be real?" The song was instantly recognizable, and even some of the chaperones sang along when "God must have spent a little more time on you" appeared in the chorus. Kevin and Brian struggled a bit in the beginning, but everyone covered well. They had no problems with the next one, though, because when JC started with, "Well, it's not far down to paradise, at least it's not for me," everyone remembered either *NSYNC's version or the original version by Christopher Cross.

"Okay, now for a special treat," JC smiled into the microphone. "This next song is a new one we've recorded for a movie soundtrack, and it won't be released for at least another month. Justin and I thought we'd try it out on you all, if you don't mind."

I smiled, watching him thoroughly in his element up there as the audience went wild. I saw him saying something to Brian and Kevin while he had his hand over the mike. In the amount of time they took, I presumed it was a quick run through of the specifics for the song. Brian and Kevin nodded. Brian sat down behind the drums and Kevin picked up a guitar. JC helped Justin to a sitting position while he stood behind the keyboard.

"Clouds above you start to pour," Justin began, "and all of your doubts rage like a storm, and you don't know who you are anymore. Let me help you find what you've been searching for."

The guys harmonized the words "somewhere" and "someday" in the background as he continued, "Somewhere there's a field and a river. You can let your soul run free. Someday let me be the giver, let me bring you peace. Somewhere there's a break in the weather, where your heart, your spirit go free. Someday it'll be for the better. Let this bring you peace."

JC took lead with, "Girl, I know you think no one sees the weight on your shoulders, but you can't fool me. And aren't you tired of standing so tall?

Let me be the one to catch you when you fall." He echoed the chorus that Justin had sang before adding while looking directly at me, "Let me bring you joy, let me bring you peace."

Justin added, "Take these tears that you cried, entrust them to me."

"Let me give you heart, let me give you hope," JC crooned in before Justin joined him, "Be the one constant love, that you've never known." They picked up the melody again, and by this point, the whole dance was singing along with the melody. After another repeat and some improv by the two of them, the let the song fade off. I thought the place was going to explode, and I was surprised the whole stage didn't get bum rushed.

JC and Justin thanked everyone, including motioning for a round of applause for Kevin and Brian, which they got. Considering who they were, with this crowd, they could have just sat there, but when Brian took to the mike, he had to wait a few minutes before it was quiet enough for him to be heard. "That's a tough act to follow," he smiled at JC, "but we'll give it a shot." Kevin shook his head while everyone just grinned during the beginning of "I Want It That Way." The effect was very similar, and the guys had to begin their follow-ups with "All I Have to Give" and "I'll Never Break Your Heart" by just starting amidst the applause. When Brian sang during the last song, I caught him stealing glances at Nate. When Nate realized they were being watched, he blushed. I just laughed and gave him a slap on the back.

Sister Marie made it to the stage as JC and Kevin helped Justin off. "Let's have another round of applause for all of the guys," she yelled, obtaining the desired result. "Now, if you all can leave them in peace for just a few minutes, the DJ will play some music for you, so enjoy the dance." She started to step away from the mike before returning to add with a smile, "But not too much."

Surprisingly, except for the occasional wayfarer, most of the kids stayed out on the dance floor and left us in peace, though every time we turned around, several sets of eyes were on us. The guys tried to talk mostly among themselves to keep up appearances, so Nate, Kathy, and I talked to one another, though since we'd been together all week, there were very few earth-shattering revelations to share, so mostly we just sat watching everyone else in silence. A few girls got the nerve up to come over to say hello and get an autograph, but what caught my attention, and apparently Nate's, was the guy that came over.

He looked vaguely familiar, and I presumed that he was in the girls' class.

What made him stand out was how obvious it was, at least to the trained eye, that he was gay. I think all of us noticed, and the guys talked to him for several minutes about why he liked their music and what not. Brian introduced him to us as Brad. He recognized Nate, and I had to turn away to stifle a laugh, 'Busted!'

I eavesdropped a little bit, simply because it was one of the more predominant conversations within earshot. As the boy talked about his interests in writing, it was abundantly clear why Nate took such an interest. They seemed very much alike. He seemed like the introvert who always stuck out in school, with which Nate readily identified. Nate offered to take a look at some of his stuff, and I bit my bottom lip, trying to use the pain to block out my dirty mind. His intentions were admirable enough, considering the flock of his "fellow" classmates who were staring and would likely give him hell later, but Nate really needed to watch how he phrased things around people like Kathy. If he provided the opportunity, someone was bound to take him up on it. I lost myself in thought before watching the boy make his exit with a twenty-dollar bill in his hand. Okay, I really wanted to say something now, but the atmosphere, as well as knowing my daughters were in close proximity, stilled my tongue.

Abruptly, Kathy sprinted off away from us and leaped to the stage. Everyone was looking at me for an explanation. Boy, were they disappointed.

She just had this shit-eating grin on her face when she looked at me. She tapped the mike a few times and cleared her throat.

"Well, folks, the surprises aren't done yet. Fresh from a canceled engagement in Ohio . . . ," she teased, looking to the curtain behind her. "This is 98 Degrees."

All of the girls in the dance hall went ape-shit. I was just standing there dumbfounded, which wasn't lost on everyone else. Nick started crooning into the mike while Drew started the low background vocals into his.

We both know that I shouldn't be here

This is wrong

And baby it's killin' me, it's killin' you

Both of us tryin' to be strong

I've got somewhere else to be

Promises to keep

Someone else who loves me

And trusts me fast asleep

Instinctively, I started singing along. I mean, I'd heard these songs enough, that was for sure. Everyone kept looking at me perplexed. Justin kind of smiled, "Hey, you didn't know who we were, but you know these guys. I don't know about you, Josh, but I'm insulted."

"Me, too," Brian chimed in.

I just held my head down in a chuckle. "You know, Curly? It's good you're going with the blonde look."

"Hey," he laughed, followed by Kathy, who was joining us.

"And you, bitch," I elbowed her with a smile. "You have some explaining to do."

The group excused themselves, promising to return in a few minutes. When they walked over to us, I grabbed Nick in a hug. "Hey, Nicky."

"Hey, yourself."

"What in the hell are you guys doing here?" I asked with a loving smile.

"Came to check on you," Jeff answered over Nick's shoulder.

Drew held out his arms with a mock look of hurt on his face. "And where's my hug?"

I just shook my head and embraced him. "Hey, Andy."

I heard a bug light zap over Justin's brain. "Wait a minute! This is Andy?"

Drew just smiled. "As much as I hate it, Justin, he insists on calling me that."

"He's your cousin," Justin half-asked, half-exclaimed in amazement.

"Duh," Nick teased. "Okay, who hit Curly on the head?"

Almost every one in the group raised their hand. Justin had an indignant gleam in his eye. "I can't believe I didn't put it together at first."

JC smacked him on the shoulder. "Um, what?"

"When you were in the hospital," Justin began, "he called to wish his cousin Andy a happy birthday."

"My birthday," JC cut in, obviously quicker to pick up on it than Justin had. "You're right, you should have put it together. You knew that Drew and I had the same birthday."

Nick kind of looked around to make sure we were alone. He whispered, "So fill me in on you and JC."

Justin (Jeffre) asked Justin, "What happened to your leg?"

"Long story," Kathy butted in with a grin.

"Same story," I told Nick. "I'll tell you all after we leave, but for now, I think your cousins are doing everything they can to keep the screaming girl contingent off of you. You might wanna get back on stage."

Nick just smiled and mussed my hair before they all went back on stage and started with one of the songs from their first album. They even called Caitlin and Colleen up there for one of them. When I turned to say something else to Kathy, she dodged me by running up and joining them on-stage as well.

"You knew we knew them, didn't you?" JC raised his eyebrow at me.

"Yup," I smiled. "When I was reading up on your bio that day, I ran across a picture of the two groups together."

"And why didn't you tell me?" he grinned.

"I wanted it to be a surprise," I stuck out my bottom lip.

"Then how come you're surprised?" he asked me, full-knowing the answer.

"Because I had no idea they were coming tonight," I answered honestly. "And if I were a bettin' man, I'd say the eldest blond woman on stage up there is probably the only one who did."

"Serves you right," he grinned back at me. "So you guys are cousins?"

"Nicky and Andy's mom is my mom's sister," I explained. "In fact, Nicky and I were named after the same great-grandfather."

"You're just full of surprises, aren't you?"

"I try," I smiled as the girls came back to the table, their dates following behind like they would have preferred to have had a more normal night. I nodded to JC, who caught and shared my sympathetic gaze.

"We're gonna do a song we never released as a single called 'Heaven's Missing an Angel,' and fellas, it's a slow one, so you might wanna grab your girls or whatever," I heard Nick say. One side of my mouth went up in a grin. I didn't need to turn around to know he was flashing that stupid smile in our direction, since that last part was, no doubt, added for our benefit.

"Hey, Kev?" I said, my face growing a little more stoic. JC looked at me a little worried, and when I noticed, I just shook my head.

"Yeah?" he asked, putting down his punch.

"You seen Brian and Nate?" I asked.

It took him only a moment to realize that he hadn't. "Where do you think . . . ," he began to ask. "Why don't you, Kathy, and the girls go so it won't draw so much attention?"

Colleen caught it immediately. "Guys, could you get Caitlin and I some more punch?"

I smiled to myself as the guys made themselves scarce, exactly as intended.

"Which hallway should I take?" she smiled.

"You take the north hall. Caitlin, you take the west. I'll go get Kathy, and she and I will cover the other two." They nodded and went off in search of the duo. Kevin did not look pleased.

"Relax, Kev," I tried to reassure him. "Everyone's attention is elsewhere at the moment, and they'll be careful."

"Maybe," he grunted, "but they shouldn't have to be. This is an unnecessary risk."

"Remember what we talked about?" JC gently reminded him.

Kevin nodded with a smile before turning to me and Kathy, who'd rejoined us after I'd motioned for her to come over. "Just find them and make sure they're okay."

I shook my head in agreement and pushed Kathy out the doors, explaining as we went. We split up, and she and I took the last remaining segments of this building. It didn't take all that long before I realized that my efforts were fruitless, so I headed back to the dance. The DJ was again spinning, and everyone was dancing to a high-energy number. Thankfully, the abundance of celebrities tonight had brought us to the point that no one was staring all that much anymore.

Kathy came back in with a shrug, so presumably, one of the girls would find them. Nick, Drew, Jeff, and Justin were at the table with the others. I walked over between Jeff and Justin and gave them both a hug. "Hey, guys, it's good to see you, but you didn't have to come."

"Yes, we did," Jeff smiled. "When Nick told us what was going on, we all had to come see if you were really okay."

"I appreciate that, all of you," I smiled, "but speaking of that, the girls don't know yet. I plan on telling them tomorrow. Will you guys be around?"

"We need to get back for a concert tomorrow night, but we could stick around till after breakfast," Drew replied.

"Then why don't we all have breakfast tomorrow?" I suggested.

"Not that I mind changing our plane tickets, but where are we gonna stay? We kind of flew down here on a whim."

"It just so happens," Kathy smiled, "that we have two extra double rooms at the hotel."

"You're sneaky," I grinned.

"Damn straight," she answered. "One of the few things around here that is, but still . . . ."

I cuffed her in the arm about the time that Colleen came back. "No luck, Dad."

"That's okay, sweetheart. At least we know which direction they headed in."

"Come here, you!" Nick growled before picking her up over his shoulder. "Your date is at a table in the corner cause he thinks you ditched him for some gorgeous pop star."

"Well, Kevin's taken at the moment, and I think Justin may be, as well, so Jeff, how about it?" she smiled.

"I'm third string?" he asked, pretending to be insulted.

"Better than sloppy seconds," Brian whispered in my ear as he and Nate made a reappearance, subsequently earning himself a belt from Nate in the gut.

Caitlin wasn't far behind with a mischievous grin on her face. She immediately walked over to the table where their dates were and stole her sister away. "What's that all about?" I asked.

"I imagine it's to tell Colleen about Brian and I," Nate smiled.

"She already knows," I smiled.

"How?" Brian asked.

"She notices things that most people miss," I smiled proudly.

"Her father's daughter," Nate commented with a smile of his own.

"Very much so," I beamed. "Why don't I go tell them about breakfast tomorrow, and we can sneak out of here before the commotion starts?" I turned to Nick, "How'd you guys get here?"

"We rented a car," he answered. "We'll follow you."

I nodded and made my way over to the girls, who hadn't rejoined their dates yet after their gossip session. "You two look breathtaking," I smiled. "I'm so proud of both of you."

"You leaving?" Colleen asked.

"Yeah, I want to get everyone back to the hotel while it's safe to make a strategic withdrawal. One of us will come get you in the morning so you can come over for breakfast."

"Okay," she smiled, giving me a hug. "Thanks for coming."

"I wouldn't have missed it," moving to hug Caitlin. "Now you girls behave tonight."

"Why do I get the distinct impression that was directed at me?" she grinned.

"Guilty conscience?" I offered. "Have a good time, and I'll see you in the morning."

"Are Nick and Drew staying tonight?" Colleen asked.

"Yeah, honey, you can say goodbye to them and Jeff and Justin tomorrow."

"Okay," they smiled. "Give everyone our love and thanks," Colleen smiled, "and we'll see them tomorrow."

"Okay," I smiled, kissing them each on the forehead one last time before rejoining the others and slipping out to the car. I took the front seat again, grinning as I watched Nate and Brian climb over Justin's cast like they were walking on eggshells. I sped back to the hotel, but Nick had no trouble keeping up as they were familiar with how I drove.

Nate and Brian excused themselves to their room, earning a smile from most of us, who knew what was likely on the agenda for tonight, judging by their behavior all day. Justin announced that he was up for a movie, so he was going to get something on pay-per-view in his room. Kevin and Kathy liked the idea, so they joined him.

"Why don't we talk for a little while?" I smiled to Nick.

Jeff must have read my mind. "Hey, Curly," he smiled, "would you mind if Justin and I kept you company, too?"

"No prob. Pull up some floor."

JC started to walk through to Justin's room as well. I grabbed him by the waist. "And where do you think you're going?"

"I just figured it was family time, and you guys had some things to discuss."

I pulled him clearly back into our room and kissed him while I shut the door with my foot. "If it's family time, why in the hell would you think you weren't supposed to be here?" He smiled at me with welling tears. He pinched the bridge of his nose, which appeared almost virtually healed after this much time, to dry them as I led him by the hand over to the couch. Nick and Drew grabbed some pillows and laid down in the floor in front of us.

"Well," I smiled, "I guess you know who that someone I was talking about was."

"No kidding," Drew chuckled. "No wonder you dodged the question of whether or not we knew who it was."

"Well, I had planned on it being a surprise," I commented.

"It was," Nick assured me. "Until we took the stage, we had no idea."

"I meant a surprise that I knew about," I grinned.

"I guess Kathy's the only one who knew everything that was going on," Drew observed.

"That's about par," I chuckled, "but what are you guys doing here?"

"Well, after your little bombshell the other night, we decided that we couldn't just not do something," came Nick's reply. "So Drew and I decided to come down. We called the house, and Kathy answered the phone."

"And she told you to meet us here and not to tell me," I finished.

"Good guess," Drew smirked, knowing full well that it was anything but.

"But what about Jeff and Justin? I know you guys are in the middle of doing some concerts."

"We told them what was going on, and they insisted on coming," Nick explained.

"Those guys," I smiled.

"Alright, cuz," Nick said sourly. "Spill it."

"What do you mean?" I asked him.

"We'd covered all this stuff at the dance and the basics of what you're up against on the phone, so what we want to know now is how you're really doing," he answered.

"And what we need to do to help," Drew amended.

JC hugged me tighter, remaining silent rather than feel he was imposing. I ran my hands along his arms and leaned my head back onto his shoulder. "As for how I'm doing, physically, I'm not too bad yet. I've lost some weight, the night sweats are back, and I've been nauseous of late, but other than that, the worst hasn't started yet."

"How are you doing emotionally?" Drew asked me, very much concerned.

I exhaled slowly. "I'm scared to death. No," I laughed, "I'm scared of death."

"That's pretty reasonable," Nick commented.

"Yeah," I agreed, "it is, but I've become a basket-case this time. I've been in denial about it, I've tried to ignore it, and still it consumes my every thought, every waking moment of every single day."

They both sat up, noting the fact that the tears were starting to fall. I'd never said what I was about to. Not the first time, and certainly not now. I'd never said it aloud, but yet, it was the one thing, if the only thing, I knew to be true in all of this. "I don't want to die."

All three of them embraced me almost instantly, and I had a cathartic cry that I didn't think possible. I sobbed violently at the realization that I not only might die, but that I probably would. JC rubbed my back with his hands under my shirt, and Nick cradled me against his bicep. Drew kissed the top of my head and kept brushing the hair out of my eyes. "I don't want the girls to lose another parent," I continued, almost inaudibly from the crook in Nick's elbow, "and I don't want to lose them. I'm not ready to say goodbye."

"Then don't," Nick said simply.

"It's a fact I have to face, Nicky. I'm playing poker against something that's been dealing from the bottom of the deck, and the only thing I keep coming up with is aces over eights. The full house is nice, but not if I'm not gonna get to play."

None of them said a word, knowing I was talking, rambling, about a "Dead Man's Hand." Supposedly, those were the cards that Wild Bill Hickok had in his hand when he was shot in the back. It was a popular reference to having a good hand without being able to reap the benefits of it.

"Are things really so hopeless?" Drew asked, trying to get me to be an optimist.

"Not really," JC smiled from behind me. "He's 50/50 right now. Worse case scenario, his chances are 1-in-10. I keep trying to get his to remember that there's still a chance."

"JC's right," Nick said, pulling my head up with his hands on either side of my face, forcing me to look directly at them. "You're not going anywhere, and the girls aren't going to lose you. For that matter, neither are we. Call us crazy, but we've kinda gotten attached to you in the last twenty-plus years."

I smiled as the snot dripped onto Nick's leg. Embarrassed, I started to reach for it to clean it up. He stopped me. "Do you hear me?"

"You are crazy," I smiled, "but yes, I hear you. I do need to make contingents now, while I've got my faculties, in case they should be needed."

"You're still convinced that you're going to abandon the girls, aren't you?" Drew asked with hurt.

"You want an honest answer?" I asked.

"If they don't," JC interjected behind me, "I do."

"Yeah," I answered as coolly as I could. "I do."

"Well, that's just fucking great!" JC pushed out from behind me. "Why should I give a damn if you live or die? Apparently, you don't."

"Josh . . . ."

"Tell me I'm wrong!" he demanded.

"What?"

"Tell me that you're not certain you're going to die!"

I looked into his eyes, prepared to do just that. "I can't!" I cried.

"Well, that's a hell of a note!" he shouted before walking to the opposite side of the room to a mirror.

"Josh!" I cried. "You're the one who told me not to make you promises that I couldn't keep."

"I'm not asking you not to die," he spun to face me with tears in his eyes.

"All I'm asking you to do is not go so willingly." He wiped his eyes with his forearm and slammed the bathroom door.

I broke down into sobs again. Kevin stuck his head through the door. "Matt?"

"It's okay, Kevin," I tried to lie, choking back further tears. "I'm fine."

He didn't buy it for a second, but he let it slide, slowly shutting the door behind him. Drew got up and headed for the bathroom to talk to JC. Nick joined me on the couch. "He's right, you know?" Nick offered a consoling smile.

"I know he's right," I admitted. "Now what am I supposed to do about it?"

"You fight," he said sternly. "You fight it like you did the first time. You fight it like you fought to survive after your mom died and your dad left. You fight it like you've never fought before." I tried to nod, but he continued, ensuring that his point wasn't lost. "You fight it like your life and the happiness of those two girls depends on it."

"And you fight it like you have something--someone--worth living for," Drew added, his hands on JC's shoulders. Nick got up and walked to the bed. I held out my hand to JC, and he took it before sitting next to me.

"You may have given up on you," he said harshly, "but I haven't."

"Thank God for that," I smiled before kissing his cheek. "And I won't quit fighting. For you or for them."

"I want you to fight for you. You're the one I want to come out of this with," JC said.

"You will," I choked. "If it's a poker game it wants, I'm a gambler."

He smiled at me, "But you're not letting go about the girls, are you?"

I shook my head.

"So what do we need to do?" Drew repeated.

"I want to make sure that the girls are taken care of," I answered.

"Matt, do you really think you even need to say that?" Nick tried to smile.

"Yeah, I do," I returned. "For me."

"So what would happen if you got hit by a car right now?" Nick asked.

"Kathy would get custody of the girls and become executrix of their trust fund."

"So what's wrong with that?" Drew asked.

"Kathy's got enough to deal with," I answered.

"Like what?" Nick demanded.

"Kathy's pregnant," JC answered for me.

Suddenly, Nick lost his fight and sat back down on the bed. "When? Who? How?" He just rattled off questions, seemingly endlessly, and I wasn't so sure that he wanted or expected an answer to any of them.

I opted to tell him anyway. "First off, you say nothing, but my best estimates are late March or early April. As for the who, he's the one next door who's not in your group and doesn't have a cast on his leg. As for how," I managed to smile, "I'd have hoped Aunt Cate would have covered that by now."

"Smartass," Nick grinned. "Kevin's the father?"

I nodded, "But he doesn't know?"

"Why not?" Drew asked.

"They're not together anymore," JC replied once more. "He's in a relationship with someone new, and she doesn't want him to play super-hero and try to save the day."

"And you don't want her to have the responsibility of raising three children," Drew completed.

I shook my head again.

"What about one of us?" Nick asked.

"Same reason," I answered.

"We're not pregnant," he tried to joke.

"But you could be," I pointed out.

"Excuse me?" he snorted.

"You know what I mean, Nicky. You two could find someone and start a family of your own. You've supposedly found Ms. Right anyway--and don't think you've dodged that conversation, either, Mister--but what happens when she wants a family?"

"We'll have one," he answered bluntly.

"But whose? Mine or yours?"

"Matt, that's not fair," Drew began.

"No, it's not, and that's what I'm trying to get you--all of you--to realize."

"Matt," Nick interjected again, "we're family."

"And I'm not going to have this come between that, but if something happened, I don't want the future mother of your children--either of you--to resent you, me, or the girls for that matter."

"They wouldn't," Drew said confidently.

"You don't know that, and that's all there is to say on that matter."

"Then what about Mom?" Nick asked.

"Aunt Kate's raised her kids--a lot of them at that. I'm not going to ask her to start over again. Not now."

"Then who does that leave?" Drew pointed out.

"Me," JC offered quietly.

"What?" I asked him, unsure I'd heard him right.

"It leaves me," he said with more assurance.

"Don't be ridiculous," I said.

"Don't do that!" he said with force, trying to curb the volume as the words left his mouth. "Think about it. I'm not going to be shacking up with any baby factory."

"Josh, honey, that's sweet," I began, "but for God's sake. We've known each other for what? A week? I can't ask you to do that."

"Can't? Or won't?" he challenged. "You keep bringing up the short time we've known one another. What never seems to come up is how I feel about you."

"Listen to me," I told him, "you haven't even gotten past the hump on your car insurance yet. I'm not about to saddle you with two teenagers."

"How old were you when you became a father?" he asked, knowing the answer.

"That's not the point."

"That's exactly the point. You made the best with what you had, giving the girls a father in the process. Why is that you don't think I'm capable of doing the same?"

"It's not that at all," I grunted. "It's not the same."

"It is the same."

"Josh, you are not their father," I reminded him.

"But I could be. They are your children, your flesh and blood. I love them simply for being. How could I not care for them?"

"But you don't have to, I did."

"But I want to."

"What happens when I'm gone, and you find someone new? What happens when it's not convenient to play father anymore?"

He looked at me with unmistakable hurt in his eyes. He grabbed his bag and started out the door. "Nick? Drew? Would one of you mind sleeping in here? I'm gonna take one of your rooms."

"JC, sit down!" Nick yelled. Startled, he did as he was told. "We've sat by and listened to this morbid conversation go on long enough. Matt, you have to make a decision. If you're bound and determined to settle this tonight, you need to choose who will raise your children."

Drew chimed in. "Make no mistake, we all love them. No matter who you choose, we're not going to step out of their lives. Not me, not Nick, not Mom, not Kathy, and not JC. We all want what's best for them, which is you, but failing that, they'll be taken care of."

JC took my hand and placed it over his heart. "Do you feel that?" he asked me.

"Of course, but . . . ."

"As long as it beats, and as long as I draw breath, I swear to you that your children will be provided for. I love you, and as such, I love them. But even if I didn't, they're wonderful children that any man would be proud to call his own. If you're still unsure that what we have is real and permanent, don't doubt that I'm capable of loving them as much as you do. I'd slit my own wrists right now to protect them if I had to, and nothing, not even us being apart, will ever, ever change that."

I looked to Nick and Drew for support, but I found none. His words had moved them. In truth, they had moved me. I sighed, "Are you sure?"

"More than anything," was his reply.

I sat there in silence. "Well?" I posed to my cousins.

"We can't make this decision for you," Drew smiled. "I wish we could make this part easier, but this is one thing we cannot decide. You know how all of us feel, and you know that whatever you decide won't change that."

"I can't believe I'm doing this," I said aloud, more to myself than anyone.

"If you're certain, Josh, I'll change my will Monday, but on one condition."

"What's that?"

"I have my reservations about this, and if you do, too, should you ever change your mind, tell me. I don't want you to be put in a position that you're uncomfortable with."

"Then tell your cousin to get off my foot," he laughed, trying to add some levity. Nick looked down and realized he was virtually sitting on his foot and jumped off of it. Damn it! For the life of me, I couldn't help but laugh.

"Okay, okay," I laughed. "Now that that's settled, at least for now, I want to hear about the girlfriend."

"Well," JC grinned, "I was born in . . . ."

I cut him off with a sharp elbow to the gut as Nick answered, "Her name is Jessica, but we can talk about that in the morning. Are you really okay?"

I thought about it for a second. "Still scared out of my wits. Is that nuts?"

"Yes, you are," Drew smiled, "but that's not. Are you talking to a therapist?"

"Do you guys count?" I chuckled.

"I hope so," Drew laughed, "but not like that."

"No," I shook my head.

"Maybe you should," he suggested. "If I thought we could sit here all night and make it so you wouldn't be, you know we'd do it in a heartbeat, but it doesn't work that way."

"I know," I smiled with understanding.

"Then what do you want us to do?" Nick asked.

"Exactly what you're doing," I smiled. "Be there when I need you. To cry on, to yell at, or to give me a good, swift kick in the ass when I need it."

"Always, cuz, always," Nick assured me before hugging me with Drew right behind. "But why don't we let you rest now?"

I nodded, and they got up to head to the neighboring room to collect their bandmates. They exchanged a look.

"What?" I asked.

Drew smiled at Nick before turning to me. "For what it's worth," he started before looking at Nick again, "we're glad you two got together."

"It's worth a lot," I smiled.

"You're lucky you found each other," Nick smiled.

"Yeah," I smiled at JC. "I am feeling pretty lucky."

"Every waking moment of every single day," JC echoed my earlier words, pulling me close as the guys shut the door behind them. There was an ominous silence when they left, so after a few minutes, I turned to face JC.

"I'm gonna go down and tell them goodnight. I want to thank Jeff and Justin for coming," I told him.

"Bullshit," he smiled.

"What?" I asked, more than a little shocked.

"You want to ask Nick and Drew if you're making a mistake without me being in the room."

I started to protest, but I knew he was absolutely right. I couldn't lie to him. Not again, and certainly not about this. My eyes met the floor, and I just nodded my head.

"It's okay, Matt. Really."

I looked up at him hesitantly, and he just smiled at me in complete understanding. He nodded his head, and guiltily, I left the room. Walking down to Nick and Drew's room, I knocked quietly, at least some part of me hoping they wouldn't hear. "Come in," came the reply.

Nick was sitting up on the bed with his bare back against the wall. Drew was standing at the bathroom door in his pajama bottoms brushing his teeth. He spit out the contents of his mouth and rinsed with water. Setting the toothbrush on the countertop, he came out and leaned against the dresser.

"We were wondering how long it would be before you came down here," Drew smiled.

I couldn't help but smile. It seemed everyone knew exactly what I was going to do before I did it. I just wish I did. I tried to speak, but the words didn't come.

"Let us answer the question for you," Nick smiled. "I do not approve of you giving custody of your children to someone you barely know."

"Especially someone my age," Drew added.

Defeated, I looked to the floor. Nick grabbed me by my belt loops and pulled me close to him and made me sit next to him. I tried not to cry, I really did. I felt like enough of an emotional wreck without one more blubber-fest. Nick pulled my head against his, and all bets were off. "You didn't let us finish," he smiled, crying himself. "It's obvious how much you and JC care for one another."

I nodded, rubbing against Nick's forehead and making him laugh, so Drew continued. "If JC makes you happy, then you know that we will support you in any way possible."

"And if you are sure about this, then we'll support you in this, too," Nick added. "Drew and I talked about it. We've known JC for several years now, and besides liking him, we know what he's like."

"He's a driven man," Drew picked up. "One with enough determination and enough maturity to be a good father to Caitlin and Colleen if he so chooses."

Nick lifted my chin to make certain I was looking directly at him. "From what we saw in there, I'd say he made his choice."

"So you think I'm making the right decision?" I asked.

"We think you're making a right decision," Drew replied. "I think you've figured out by now that there are no clear answers to any of this."

All I could do was nod.

"Is it the only choice you could have made under the circumstances?" Nick posed. "No."

"But is it one that we think you'll regret?" Drew asked. Looking into his face, he just shook his head. I turned to Nick and found the same answer.

I just smiled and hugged them both. All three of us were reduced to waterworks, so I tried change the mood. "So what about this girlfriend?" I laughed.

Drew joined me in laughter, and Nick just rolled his eyes. "You're obsessed with this, you know?"

I nodded gleefully. "You met my new significant other, so what about yours?"

"Not much to tell, actually," he confessed. "Jessica and I have been seeing each other since January."

"Jessica?" I asked, the name ringing a bell. "That's the girl that was opening for you, right?"

"That's her," he confirmed.

"I thought she was quite a bit younger than you," I said aloud.

"God," Nick rolled his eyes, "you make it sound like there's a twenty year age difference. It's not that bad."

"Exactly how bad is 'not that bad?'" I grinned.

"Eight years," he muttered under his breath.

"Robbing the cradle, ain't you little cuz?" I teased.

"Just don't mention the sex," Drew offered helpfully.

"What about it?" I smiled.

Nick cut his brother a look of warning, but Drew just continued. "There's not any," he laughed.

"What?" I laughed.

"We don't have sex, alright!?" Nick shouted, trying not to laugh when he did.

"Why on earth not?" I tried to stifle my own giggles.

"Just drop it," Nick warned me with a smile.

"Apparently," Drew grinned, "she didn't slip through the buckle of the Bible Belt as easily as you did."

"You mean she's 'saving herself for marriage?'" I asked with dramatic emphasis.

"Matt . . . ," Nick growled.

Biting my bottom lip, I tried to hide my amusement. "I think that's sweet, Nicky, I really do."

"No you don't," Drew laughed. "You think she's a prude like the rest of us."

"That does it!" Nick laughed before pouncing onto his brother. I jumped behind him to pull him off, and I managed to pull him back onto the bed. Our similar builds robbed him of the weight advantage he liked to use with Drew, and he toppled onto me clumsily with laughter.

"Nicky, you have to admit that there's some small sense of irony to it all," I told him.

"What do you mean?" he asked me in seriousness.

"Well, I wonder how many girls, or guys, for that matter, would give their eyeteeth to sleep with you, and you've managed to find one of those rare few who won't," I answered him sincerely.

"That's not irony," Drew laughed, "that's the hand of a vengeful God."

Nick sprung off of me before I could stop him and tackled Drew again. I just shook my head in laughter. "Andy, you got yourself into this, you get yourself out."

"You're not gonna help your favorite cousin?" he grinned from the headlock he was currently victim of.

"Nope," I smiled. "Nicky's doing just fine on his own. See you in the morning." I watched the triumphant look on Nick's face and the goofy look of shock on Drew's as I shut the door behind me and headed back to my room.

When I got inside, JC was sound asleep on the bed. I just stood in the door frame and smiled, watching him sleep.

"Did you two get everything worked out?" I heard coming from the next room.

I walked to the door and saw Justin lying under his covers topless, reading the same book he had been buried in during the ride down here.

"I think so," I answered honestly. "What's up?"

"Not much," he smiled, setting the book beside him. "You guys were a little loud earlier, so when everybody went back to their rooms, I asked Kevin to open the door so I could talk to him. He was already asleep, but I told Kevin to leave it open until you came back."

"Looking out for him?" I smiled.

"Trying to," he weakly smiled in return.

"You're a good friend, Curly."

"I just follow his example."

His sincerity touched me. "Come on, Curly," I told him as I walked over and scooped him up in my arms.

"What are you doing?" he laughed.

"Keeping my word," I smiled as I brought him over to our bed and laid him on one side of JC. Justin just smiled and shook his head in disbelief. I stripped down to my underwear and climbed into bed on the other side of JC before turning out the light. "Goodnight, Curly."

"Goodnight, Matt."

"Goodnight, John-Boy," JC chuckled.

I turned on the light with a start to see him grinning. "You ass," I smiled. "Eavesdropping again?"

"Nope," he smiled without opening his eyes.

"So are you sleep-talking?" Justin pointed out.

"Please, Curly, like I could sleep through your heavy ass getting dropped onto my bed," he laughed.

"You're impossible," Justin laughed.

"Actually," I grinned, "he's pretty easy. Want me to prove it?"

Justin gave a resounding "NO!" and reached across us both to turn out the light. "I'll see you both in the morning," he grinned, "and if either of you fairies makes a pass at me tonight, I'll rip you a new one."

Even in the darkness, I knew JC was about to make a comeback. I put my hand over his mouth, which he proceeded to lick to try--unsuccessfully--to get me to remove it "Goodnight, Curly." I just smiled to myself and kept my hand in place until I was certain that JC was asleep, then I wrapped my arms around him and joined him.

It was early the next morning when I heard a gentle knock at the door. I slid off of JC, who was sleeping peacefully next to Justin, likewise out cold. I cracked the door open just a bit to make sure JC and Justin weren't visible in the bed. It was Jeff in a pair of running shorts and a hooded sweatshirt.

"Hey, Matt, thought you and I could go running," he smiled.

"Sure," I yawned sleepily, "let me grab some clothes." I left the door open enough for him to step inside, but he didn't, obviously feeling he was intruding. I stepped into my workout shorts and pulled on a football jersey. Glancing at it in the mirror, I realized it was JC's, not mine. It hung loosely on him, but it was pretty close to my size. I slid on my running shoes and grabbed the room key, tucking it into my sock with a twenty. I stepped out the door, securing it behind me, and Jeff and I started a slow jog.

"I've missed this," he smiled.

"What?" I asked.

"Having someone to run with," he answered. "About the only time I ever have company is when you come up to visit the guys."

"Nick doesn't run with you?"

"Does he run with you?" he asked with a grin.

"No," I admitted with a laugh. "He swore he'd never run with me again. He hates that he can't keep up. So far, he's kept his word."

"Same reason," he laughed. "Drew comes along once in a while, but I don't really get to run full out with anyone."

"Then why are we holding back?" I smiled.

"I was gonna ask you the same thing," he grinned, and the two of us broke into a full-out run. He was the only one I ever got to do this with as well, and we both enjoyed the workout in virtual silence. We had fun, each of us trying to get that extra kick that would propel us ahead of the other.

The time flew by, and glancing around, I estimated that we'd well exceeded my usual five miles.

"How far do you normally run?" I asked him, finally running out of steam.

"About five or six miles," he answered, almost as out of breath as I was.

"I think we hit that point a while back," I laughed. He thought about it for a minute and slowed to a walk, laughing.

"I guess we did at that. Thanks for coming along."

"Wouldn't have missed it," I smiled, still winded. "You can hop on a plane and fly almost a thousand miles, I figure I can indulge you a little bit."

"Don't sweat it," he smiled. "I just wanted to make sure you were up for it."

"Of course," I panted. "Why wouldn't I be?" The minute I said it, I knew the answer. He didn't say a word, but he didn't have to. "Oh," I muttered.

"Well, if I'm ever too sick to leave your ass in the dust, old man, you all might as well just shoot me, because there's nothing left worth living for."

"Old man?" he laughed. "You're a month older than I am."

"Nuh-uh," I laughed, "Just over two weeks."

"How do you figure that nineteen days is 'just over two weeks?'" he smiled.

"It was that new math we studied when I was a kid," I grinned. "You young people didn't get that privilege."

He rolled his eyes and laughed. "You obviously feel good enough to be a smartass."

"Oh, like that takes effort," I smiled, just as he toppled to the ground.

"Jeff!" I shouted.

"I'm okay," he said quickly, wiping the blood off his knee. "Just got a leg cramp all of the sudden, and the leg buckled before I had a chance to catch myself."

I just smiled and shook my head, taking out some unused tissues I had stuffed into my pocket for the sinus drainage that tormented me this time of year. I gently pressed them to his knee until most of the bleeding had subsided. I helped him to his feet and laughed.

"What?" he asked.

"Just thinking how dangerous it must be to be around me," I mused. "Two car accidents and now this."

"You could have warned me, you know," he smiled.

"But then I wouldn't have the pleasure of your company for the next few hours as I help you hobble your broke-down ass back to the hotel."

"Very funny," he grinned as we started the long walk back. It had been before dawn when we left. Now I knew everyone would be wondering what was keeping us. We walked on in meaningless chitchat for a while.

"So what's up with Nate and Brian?" he asked me.

Feeling that it wasn't really my place to discuss it, I gave a guilty, "What do you mean?"

"How long have they been together?"

"Huh?" I asked, my reaction genuine, because I was somewhat surprised that he knew.

"Glad you're a nurse," he smiled, "you'd suck as an actor."

"How'd you know?"

"Didn't take a rocket scientist. Hell, Justin and I didn't even have to point it out to Nick."

I smiled and told him to stop picking on my cousin. "Seriously," I began again, "how'd you know?"

"Well, it was obvious they were close, just watching the way they behaved around one another--a touch here, a whisper there."

"And . . . ?" I prodded, knowing that wasn't enough to give them away; otherwise, the whole dance would have known.

He grinned, "Well, there was the little thing of them going to the same hotel room last night." I smiled when I realized he was right. I hadn't even noticed, and I told him so. "We all did, but we didn't really figure it was our place to say anything. That's why I thought I'd ask you informally when no one else was around."

"Oh, so you had ulterior motives for the run?" I smiled.

"Nah," he grinned. "You could have lied."

"Would I lie to you?" I laughed. "Besides, I trust you with my relationship with JC. I figure we all stand to lose about the same thing."

"I guess," he muttered. "I'm just glad you're not alone this go around."

"Me, too," I admitted, not really knowing what else to say. Apparently, neither did he, so I dragged the subject back into a comfort zone. "So how's the leg?"

"Pretty good," he nodded. "I think I'm up to a light run, if you want."

"I hate to push you, but we probably should if we'd like to get back at a decent time."

He nodded again, and we took off. We stopped at a nearby convenience store, and I picked up some alcohol, bandages, and an ACE wrap. I barely had enough left for a sports drink and a juice for us to drink.

We'd covered enough ground that we got back just after eight. I opened the door to my room just in time to stop Jeff. Almost everyone was in our room and Justin's next door. Justin was again enthralled by his book, JC was playing some simplistic electronic game on his cell phone, and Nick, Drew, and Justin were playing 3-handed spades.

"Morning, sweetheart," I smiled, pausing to kiss JC on the cheek.

"Aw, how cute," Curly smirked.

"My aren't we foul?" I grinned. "I didn't sleep with you last night."

JC grabbed it as expected. "Actually, honey, you did. We both did."

I thought everyone in the room was gonna fall out of their chairs. Nick and Drew were laughing their asses off. Curly's mouth was agape, and everyone else was dying to hear details.

"I only slept in here," he cried in his defense, not really helping his case all that much. Realizing this, he had to laugh, "Though even if I'd had to listen to these two go at it, it couldn't have been nearly as bad as listening to some reenactment of mating season on the Discovery Channel coming from the room on the other side of me."

"That bad?" JC laughed, along with everyone else.

"Enough to make me go straight, if I weren't already," he grinned.

"Speaking of Adam and Evil, have they been up yet?" I asked.

"Don't know," JC answered. "Kevin and Kathy went to pick up the girls, and he called a little later saying breakfast was in Brian and Nate's room at nine."

"I guess the question before the jury is whether or not they know about it," I smiled.

"We'll see," Justin smiled.

"We'll see something," JC grinned as I led him back to the shower. He kissed every inch of my exposed flesh as he peeled my clothes off. When I stepped into the stall, he surprised me by joining me, clothes and all.

"You're a nut," I laughed.

"And you're a fruit," he grinned. "Together, we're a fruitcake."

I just rolled my eyes at the bad humor and stuck my head under the spray to wet my hair. He took the shampoo and lathered it into my hair, relaxing me to the point that I had to brace myself against him. I rinsed it out as he used his hands to caress my body with the soap. Once I was clean, I turned around to kiss him. "Of course, now I have to explain why I'm having to get you another set of clothes."

"I could go out in these," he smiled.

"Nope," I purred, nibbling on his earlobe. "The wet T-shirt look you do for me alone."

"How about a little reciprocation?" he grinned.

"There won't be a thing that's little about it," I smiled, stepping out of the bathroom with a towel around my waist. I quickly grabbed us both some clothes and got back in there before anyone had a chance to say anything. We dressed hastily and joined the others just in time to head for Nate and Brian's room for breakfast. Jeff caught up with us about the same time, his hair still dripping, and his clothes clinging to him like a second skin.

Kevin answered the door, and we found everyone else waiting inside. Brian and Nate were together, being their usual flirtatious selves, and I found it fairly amusing how bashful Jeff and Justin seemed around it. Even Nick and Drew seemed a little awkward. I bit my lip to stifle the smile as Nate introduced himself to my cousins and their friends. Cocking an eyebrow at Brian, who'd been on Nate, as well as not entirely clothed, I shot a parental look at him, "You wandering around like that in front of my kids?"

Caitlin assured me that he'd had even less on when they arrived, and I started to ask exactly how much, but I thought better of it. Nate blamed Kevin for their lack of warning, to which I responded that I wouldn't have been so courteous as to give any warning.

Brian asked Nate if he thought they were being picked on. "No, but I often get the feeling I'm surrounded by evil."

I laughed at him. "Hey, you've got no right to complain about this one. I'll bet you still got at least a couple of more hours sleep than I did. Jeff dragged me out of my nice warm bed to go running."

"Hey!" Jeff laughed from the other side of the room. "You wanted to go."

I told him that was true after he'd woken me up, but I wouldn't have complained if I could have slept longer. Kathy immediately offered that I would be complaining about being torn away from JC.

"Well, if JC hadn't been cuddled up to Justin, he could have come along," I smiled at JC, who was out of earshot but knew he was being talked about.

Brian laughed, making sure we knew that he would have preferred to stay snuggled up with Nate rather than host breakfast. Kathy gleefully chirped that he was the proud owner of both experiences. An offhand comment about embarrassing the girls brought out the parental, and comedic, instincts in me. "I'll warn you both right now," I tried not to grin as I pointed to Brian and Nate, "You warp my kids, and I'll kick your ass."

That got the predicted response of me having already warped them, in this case, from Brian. I reached out to cuff his head, but he ducked behind Nate. "Gay bashing!" he laughed. "What kind of example is that setting?"

Even Nate thought that was lame and moved just enough for me to knock Brian to his ass. "It has nothing to do with you being gay, Brian," I laughed, "but everything to do with you being an idiot. Nate could do so much better." Nate agreed, but decided he'd already invested enough into "training" Brian, that he might as well continue.

With the morning antics out of the way, we finally started eating. Drew was sitting next to the window, so I joined him, asking how Aunt Cate, Isaac (their half-brother), Josie, Zac, and Kaitlin (all of whom joined the family through marriage or adoption) were doing. They were such a great comfort to me after my father left. My mother had always loved a big family, and I inherited that from her. We spent every holiday with them. The girls absolutely adored all of them. Aunt Cate always bought them the things they wanted but I wouldn't get them because I thought they were too extravagant for them at such a young age. Caitlin thought it was so neat to have someone named after her (though Kaitlin was already named when she was adopted, but try telling an eleven-year-old that). Then, of course, there were Nick and Drew themselves.

I'd watched the pair grow up from being the hateful brothers who used to hate being around one another to the loving duo they were today. With no brothers of my own, the two of them had always sort of filled that role. When Mom died, they were there, and when my father left, they were there. When I was sick the first time, Nick moved in with me and helped take care of me. What he'd done for me spoke higher of him than any feeble attempts at words I could make.

He'd helped take care of the girls, which was why they practically worshipped him, but above that, he and Cate were the only family I could count on. Drew was still young and in his rambunctious stage, and Cate still had to be mother to him before she could worry so much with me, but she did give him permission to withdraw from college at Miami to come take care of me. And that, he did. How do you repay someone for helping to raise your children? For picking you up when you were too tired to walk? For holding your head over the toilet while you puked because you didn't have enough strength left in your neck to hold your head up? For wiping your ass because you were too weak to raise your arm? I sat there watching him, remembering everything he'd done for me.

I guess I was staring at him, because he looked over at me with a questioning look. I just smiled and shook my head, so he smiled back. Drew had been talking to me, apparently, but I hadn't really noticed. It wasn't until Kevin pointed it out, that I was paying attention. Actually, I hadn't even seen Kevin come up.

"Oh, sorry, Andy," I apologized. "I got a little lost in thought for a minute."

"For a minute?" Kevin laughed. "Have you even heard a word either of us have said?"

I blushed, giving away the answer. "It's okay, Kev," Drew smiled. "He goes space cadet from time to time. I'm used to it by now."

"Now, if I could just get used to that ugly mug of yours," I grinned at Drew, who immediately thumped my earlobe, which he knew I detested. I was about to retaliate when Nate joined us.

Kevin asked Nate about his conversation with Harold. When he replied that little had changed, Kevin asked if Brian's Dad was still supporting them. "Yeah," Nate answered. "He's been great. Jackie's another story."

Kevin let out an exasperated sigh. "She hasn't budged at all?" The reply was negative.

Looking at Drew, I noticed he felt not only out of the loop but out of place. I smiled sympathetically at him. Nate must have thought I was in the dark as well, because he explained to both of us that Brian's mother hadn't taken kindly to him or the fact that Brian was gay.

"I know," I told him. "I caught a bit of what happened yesterday on the way here, and Brian and I talked after he talked with his Dad."

He seemed a little surprised at that, but he completed his train of thought anyway and reiterated that she hadn't changed her mind. When Kevin asked about Brian's brother, I was kind of embarrassed. I wasn't sure I'd even known that there was a brother. I dwelled on that for a moment and lost the first part of Nate's reply. Kevin smiled and said that maybe the father and brother could help convince her. Nate wasn't convinced, and he told us so.

I couldn't fathom anything that could make a parent so cruel to their child. I looked over at the girls as they played with Kathy, Nick, and Jeff. Justin just sat to the side watching with a grin, while JC and Curly were cutting up next to each other on the bed. Nate got my attention--I'd zoned out again.

"Sorry," I smiled weakly. "Just thinking for a second. I can't imagine them doing anything that would ever get me to hit them the way she did Brian."

"What?" came Nate's reply, and immediately, I knew that I'd said something that I shouldn't. Unable to skirt the issue now, I explained, "Brian told me yesterday that she'd hit him."

Obviously, Nate knew nothing of this. He turned to Kevin for answers, who confirmed my story and said that Brian didn't want him to know. I felt like a heel, clearly overstepping my bounds and a secret that I'd apparently been entrusted with.

Nate tensed up and squeezed the glass in his hand a bit too tightly, breaking it into several pieces. He cursed at the pain, but I wiped some of the excess water off to take a look at it. I told him it wasn't too bad, and finding the entire room staring at us, I led him to the privacy of the bathroom. Brian joined us, concerned, and asked what happened while I rinsed the cut. Sensing that they needed to be alone, I excused myself.

Kevin and Kathy gave me concerned looks, and everyone else just looked at me questioningly. I just smiled and shook my head, knowing that they were gonna be fine. Nate had just been surprised is all. I told everyone I was going out to the car for a sec, and I walked outside. I grabbed the first aid kit from under the seat and brought it in with me. It was hardly the same caliber as what I had on the job, but it'd do for the small stuff.

I knocked on the bathroom door and cracked it just far enough to make sure that I wasn't intruding. Nate told me I wasn't, so I went in and checked his hand. He told me it was numb from being under the water, and all I could do was laugh. I bandaged it up and assured both of them that his hand would be fine. All of the cuts were superficial, and the chances of any real damage seemed nil.

"I guess I should have said anything out there, huh?" I said to Brian, feeling very bad about telling Nate something that was told me in confidence. I was suddenly very aware of how Kevin had felt earlier in the week. Brian assured me that everything was fine, stating that he probably should have told Nate himself.

"Probably?" Nate arched an eyebrow. I kind of backed out of this conversation. It was clearly none of my business. After a minute or two of talk, Nate wanted to go back outside and get another glass of water, so I asked him if I needed to hold it for him.

"I think I can manage, smartass," he laughed, pushing me out the door. I took a seat next to JC and my cousins while Jeff and Kathy played with the girls some more, this time joined by Justin. Curly was sitting between Nate and Brian, who seemed to be talking about something a little more serious--not dauntingly so, but enough that I could see Justin's discomfort.

Then, they started to grinning stupidly, so I knew it couldn't have been too bad. Kevin made his way over to them, apparently waiting for some opening.

"By the way, you clowns," I grinned before pulling Nick and Drew against me on either side, "I appreciate you coming down here to check on me, but I don't want you canceling concerts on my account. Understood?"

"But . . . ," Nick began.

"But nothing," I smiled, kissing him on the cheek before doing the same to Drew. "I love you both to death, but I do not want thousands of teenage girls beating me senseless."

"That's my job," JC chimed in.

I rolled my eyes before standing. I finally managed to work up the nerve to pull the girls off to the side. I asked Kevin if it would be okay if we used his room, and flashing a sympathetic smile, he nodded. It suddenly got very quiet in the room, and all eyes were on us as we took our leave. Noticing everyone's behavior, the girls put their guard up. I slowly shut the door behind us and told them to sit down.

"I've got something serious to tell you both," I said quickly, to prevent any loss of resolve.

Caitlin was suddenly all smiles. "You and JC are getting married!" she exclaimed.

"No, they're not," Colleen said emotionlessly, a harsh look plastered on her face. I wondered exactly what she knew.

"How do you know?" Caitlin taunted, earning an unusually malicious glare from her sister.

"Your sister's right," I told her. "JC and I are not getting married."

"Why not?" she asked. "I thought you two cared about one another."

"We do," I confirmed.

"Then why don't you want to marry him?"

"I didn't say that," I stated clearly to try to stop this train of thought from diverting its course any further.

"Then you are going to marry him?" Caitlin asked hopefully.

"No," I almost shouted. "Yes," I corrected myself, then going even further to substitute the word "Maybe." I shook my head and sat down beside them. "JC hasn't asked me," I pointed out.

"Doesn't he like you anymore?" she asked ruefully.

"Yes," I answered softly. "But that's not the point."

"Then what is the point?" she asked rather loudly.

"Caitlin, shut up!" Colleen yelled. That was entirely out of character for her, and her sister knew it. Caitlin instantly fell silent and sat back down.

"I don't know quite how to say this," I stuttered.

"Straight out," Caitlin smiled in a subdued manner. "I know that concept's a stretch, but . . . ."

I would have laughed normally, but staring into Colleen's eyes, I couldn't form a single thought that didn't chill me to the bone. Here I was looking at my eleven-year-old daughters, and I was scared to tell them. But that wasn't the worst part. I was scared to tell them not only because of what I had to say, but something in Colleen's face told me she was going take this worse--much worse. The child in her wasn't in that room, and that scared me the most.

"Do you remember me telling you that I was sick when you both were small?" I finally stammered.

"Yeah," Caitlin whispered. "The cancer."

"It's back?" Colleen asked coldly.

I could only nod.

"Are you going to die?" she followed-up.

I couldn't manage anything but a weak shrug. I just couldn't lie, not to them, and tell them I was sure everything was going to be okay.

"It's not true!" Caitlin screamed, loudly enough that I had little doubt that everyone in the next room had heard it. She buried her face in the pillow, crying, and saying it wasn't true over and over.

I started to rub her shoulders, and she screamed, "Don't touch me!"

Defeated, I reached for Colleen, who shrunk away. "Colleen?" I said, barely audibly. She got up and walked for the door to Nate and Brian's room. Flinging in open, she walked in without a word, but all eyes were on her.

Kathy was listening at the door, so I motioned for her to check on Caitlin, which she did, while I followed Colleen. She walked over to JC and slapped him with a viciousness I never knew she possessed. "This is all your fault!" she screamed in tears. "He was fine until you came along."

JC started to open his mouth but the words wouldn't come, and she seized the opportunity to land blast him again. "I HATE YOU!" she screamed, Nick and Drew already on either side of her trying to calm her down. "Why can't you die instead of him? Why don't you die?"

She ran out of the room, leaving all of us in complete shock. The look on JC's face was something inhuman. The pain was evident in his eyes, it was indescribable. He hurt too bad to cry. It was like someone had ripped the heart from his chest. Worse still, that someone had been my daughter. One of the two people I cared about more than anyone else on the planet had purposefully, however misguided, been deliberately cruel to the one man I loved above all others.

I walked over to him, snapping him out of it just as the tears streamed effortlessly down his cheeks. He looked up at me and gave the weakest attempt at a smile I had ever seen. It was his way of trying to reassure me. "Go after her," was all he said.

I asked Drew to go sit with Caitlin, and he did. Turning to Kevin, "Keep an eye on Josh." He, Brian, and Nate agreed without hesitation, so I turned to Nick and asked him to help me look. He was behind me instantly, as were Jeff and Justin (Jeffre).

Jeff and Justin headed off in one direction while Nick and I took the other. "You know she didn't mean that," Nick offered.

"Yeah, I do," I acknowledged. "Now somebody tell him that."

"He knows," he commented.

"I'm not so sure," I replied. "I knew this was a bad idea."

"What?" Nick asked rather sarcastically. "Leaving the girls to him or your relationship with him?"

"Maybe both," I answered truthfully. "I was worried about the girls in all of this, but did you see his face?"

"Yeah," he answered weakly.

"I wasn't sure if the girls were ready for him, but now I'm not so sure that he's ready for them."

"You're not giving him enough credit," Nick smiled. "Colleen just caught him off guard, that's all."

"Maybe," I granted weakly before Nick's hand found my arm. He pointed to a bus-stop, and there was Colleen skipping stones off the water that had collected in the street from a fairly recent rain. "I should probably do this alone," I said aloud to convince myself as well as Nick.

He just smiled, "Probably so, but I'm here if you need me."

"Like always," I smiled.

"Like always," he echoed with his own smile.

As expected, she had been crying. She turned away from me when she saw my approach. I sat next to her and picked up some rocks of my own, mimicking her motions. I didn't say a word, and in the end, that got to her. She grabbed my arm in mid-toss. "Say something."

"What is there to say?" I asked.

"I didn't mean it, Dad. I'm so sorry," she cried.

"I know, sweetheart, but I'm not the one who you owe an apology," I told her as I pulled her into a hug.

"I was so mean," she sobbed. "He hates me now."

"No, honey, he doesn't, but he is hurting. Don't confuse that with the fact that he loves you."

"How could he?"

"He just does," I smiled.

"He loves you," she pointed out. "Not me. He probably hates me."

"I don't think so, sweetie. He told me last night that if something happened to me, that he would take care of you both. How do you feel about that?"

"Well, obviously, I don't want anything to happen to you," she tried to smile as she dried her eyes, "but what about Kathy?"

I hesitated. "She might have her hands full."

"With the baby?" she asked, sending me for a loop.

"How'd you know?"

She actually laughed a genuine laugh. "Not nearly as observant as you think you are," she smiled. "She's had morning sickness for weeks."

I had to laugh. "You're right," I grinned. "I hadn't noticed."

She sniffed, sliding off of the bench, frowning at me as she did. "Do you think JC will forgive me?"

"There's nothing to forgive," we heard in the distance.

JC was walking towards us with Nick several paces behind. Colleen's head fell. "I'm so sorry, JC. I was so mean."

He walked over and picked her up in his arms. "No, you're just hurting. We all are. But we're all going to get through it--together." She buried her face in his shoulder, and he cradled her head in his hands and hugged her tightly. They started walking back towards the hotel, and I just sat there and watched them walk away from me, together. I smiled as Nick walked over to me.

"Come on, Pop," he grinned, grabbing me into a fireman's carry and toting me for several blocks before finally putting me down. JC had shifted Colleen into a piggyback position, and she held onto him for dear life. Nick and I just smiled at each other when she would sneak him a kiss when she though no one was watching and he would smile.

When we got back to the hotel, Caitlin was still sobbing, but she smiled when we walked through the door. She came over and hugged me tightly. Jeff and Justin were gathered around everyone else, already back after correctly assuming that we'd found her.

JC and I dropped onto the bed next to Curly. Kathy sat behind us and pulled us both against her. The girls disappeared into the bathroom to talk. I was too tired to speak, and for once, that was okay. Kathy got up to check on the girls, leaving JC and I lying against one another in silence.

When Kathy rejoined us, I asked her how they were doing. "They're gonna be okay," she smiled before pulling me off of the bed. Her facial expression had hardened. "Outside with me, now."

We had barely shut the door behind us when she laid into me. "What the hell are you thinking?"

"Could you be a bit more specific?" I grinned.

"Don't be coy, Matt. You know damn well that I'm talking about you agreeing to leave the girls to JC if something happens to you."

I cringed at her anger, but I found my resolve anyway. "You're already going to have a family," I cited.

"Do you honestly think that I'll love them any less because of it?" she fumed.

"Not for a second," I replied honestly. "But right now, your job is all-important to you, and now a child has been added into the mix. Can you truthfully tell me you'll be ready to be mother to three of them--one in diapers and two who are in the most hardheaded phase of their lives?"

She hesitated for a split second, and I took advantage of it. "I know that you will make an amazing mother, but you know from my own experiences that it's going to be difficult. You seem bound and determined to keep Kevin in the dark about this, so you'll be raising your own child just that--on your own. I confess that I think leaving the kids to JC is ludicrous, but his own arguments, as well as Nicky's and Andy's have given me pause."

"What do you mean?" her softer tone returned.

"JC is financially able to take care of the girls until they're ready to assume control of their trust funds, he cares about them, and the likelihood of him being able to start his own family is pretty small."

"But my God, Matt, it hasn't even been a month since the two of you got together," she pointed out.

"A fact which I remind myself of almost constantly. So much has happened, that it feels as though we've shared the better part of a lifetime together, not weeks. If JC and I don't work out, then the custody matter can be handled again then."

"And what if you're dead when that time comes?" she asked matter-of-factly.

I inhaled sharply, as her bluntness sucker-punched me. "Then Nicky and Andy will be their closest living blood relatives, and they'll make the decisions from there. Nicky told me a long time ago that he would take care of them, and Andy made me the same offer a few years ago. I didn't want to complicate their lives that way any more than I want to complicate yours."

"Do you really think that's what the girls are to us? Complications?" she hissed.

"Don't you dare turn my words against me," I warned her. "This is not a decision that was made lightly. I've done nothing but dwell on it every second of every day since I was diagnosed the first time. I can only make the decisions that I think are best at any given moment. They're decisions that I hope are best for everyone involved, and I will NOT apologize for them to anyone."

"Not even to me?" she asked me, expecting something different, I guessed.

"Not even to you," I answered her curtly. "My first and foremost loyalties lie with those girls. You've known me long enough to know that. I will do anything that I feel is in their best interests, and if that means pissing you off, then so be it."

She gave me a half-smile. "Then as long as you can honestly tell yourself that this is in their best interests, I'll support you."

I was taken aback when I realized what she'd done. She'd deliberately goaded me into justifying my decisions, not to her, but to myself. Defeated, and embarrassingly, outsmarted, I draped my arm across her shoulder and smiled. "You know?" I grinned. "I never really liked you."

She chuckled. "I know. I hated you, then, too, but that's the one thing Ashley left us both, besides the girls."

"That being?"

"The friendship that she and I shared," she smiled. "I won't lie and say that I'm completely comfortable with all that's happened of late, but I know that you aren't, either. By the same token, JC hasn't done anything to make me think he won't honor his word, and he clearly makes you happier than I've ever seen you."

I smiled at her. "Not to mention the most frustrated."

"I thought I had that title," she giggled.

"Nope," I grinned. "I've trained you so well that nothing you do truly surprises me anymore."

"Trained me?" she exclaimed as she opened the door. "What am I? Some kind of dog?"

Immediately, Nick and Drew jumped in at that, having known her virtually as long as I had. "Well," Drew began, with his brother finishing, "you are the biggest bitch we know."

Kathy smiled, "Fuck you. Fuck you both." Glancing around and seeing everyone else in the room, save the girls, "On second though, fuck you all."

"Been there," Kevin grinned, followed by a "Done that" contributed by Jeff, surprising the hell out of all of us. We all looked at Jeff. He blushed, realizing that he'd given himself away and started backing out of the room, "I think I need to get packed."

As he shut the door behind him, Nick, Drew, and Justin leaped to their feet, but I stopped them from following so quickly. "What?" Nick asked. "You can't seriously expect us not to follow up on that, can you?"

"No," I grinned, "but out of courtesy, I did feel the need to give him a few seconds head start to make him think we were letting him get away that easily."

"Ooh," Justin uttered from behind Drew. "You're evil."

"And don't you forget it, albino," I grinned.

"Hey," Nate chimed in. "I thought that was Lance's title."

"Nope," Justin smiled proudly. "He's known me longer."

I just nodded and opened the door, watching the trio skirt after their band mate at top speeds. I immediately turned to Kathy, "Anything you want to tell us?"

Kevin just smiled with a questioning look on his face. "Yeah, is there?"

"What's to tell?"

"You and Jeff?" Brian asked incredulously.

"Yes," she gritted sarcastically.

"Why?" Kevin urged.

"Have you seen that boy?" she smiled. "He's built like a brick shit-house, and he's hung like a Kentucky thoroughbred."

I though Kevin was going to die of embarrassment, and Justin and JC were practically rolling off of the bed in fits of laughter. "I don't need to hear this," Kevin finally stammered.

"Speak for yourself," Brian smiled.

"Hey!" Nate jabbed him in the ribs.

"What?" Brian asked innocently. "He's not my cousin."

Kevin chose now to finally speak in his defense. "You'd better hope he wants the job, because one more word out of you, and there's gonna be an opening."

"Ew," Justin frowned. "I don't want to hear these guys talk about each other's openings. For God's sake, they're cousins."

"I do," JC beamed innocently.

"You keep on," I warned him, "and Brian's not going to be the only one in hot water."

"Ooh," he grinned. "Showering together are we?"

"Never again if you don't drop it," I threatened.

"Duly noted and dropped," he smiled, not uttering another syllable.

"I'll give you both the details later," Kathy promised Brian and JC, "when the old ladies aren't around."

I thought Curly was going to roll into the floor, but JC caught him. Turning back to Kathy, "I am gonna get some details from you later on how you and my cousin's best friend wound up together, but for now, I'd better go check on Jeff and the others. They'll be leaving very shortly."

"I wanna come," JC pouted.

"Okay," I conceded as Justin's lower lip protruded. "I guess you wanna come, too?"

He nodded, and I just moaned an exasperated sigh and picked him up over my shoulder and handed his crutches to JC. "Anybody else?"

"Me," Kathy smiled as she stood up.

"Oh, like I'm gonna let her be alone with him now," Kevin grinned as he stood behind her.

"Would they be terribly upset if we didn't come?" Nate asked.

"Not at all," I smiled. "You all can stay here."

He smiled an acknowledgment, and we headed down to the others' rooms. Nick and Drew excused themselves, citing that they really did need to get packed, because they were cutting it close as is. Looking at Justin, he just smiled, "Don't look at me. I have to go in here to pack, so I get to watch anyway." Shaking my head, we followed Justin into the room.

"Hey, you," I grinned at Jeff when I walked in.

"You're gonna give me hell about Kathy now, aren't you?" he cringed.

"Nope," I answered simply, surprising everyone.

"No?" he repeated.

"Uh-uh," I confirmed. "You jokers flew almost a thousand miles just to check on me. I'm not that big a bastard."

"Well . . . ," JC began.

"Please," Justin T. rolled his eyes, "no size remarks."

JC just grinned as Kathy sighed, "There goes my dinner conversation."

"Not to mention any semblance of class," Justin J. laughed.

"That's been gone for years," I laughed.

"Don't flatter yourself," she pointed, "I've never had any class."

"Or taste," JC chuckled.

"Well . . . ," Kevin and Jeff began before realizing they had taken the same cue.

"If either of you makes any remark with the words 'chicken' or 'fish' in it," Justin T. threatened, "I'm really gonna have to kill you both."

They both just grinned while Kathy feigned shock. "You know, Curly," she smiled, "you keep this up, and I'm going to have to seduce you."

"Me, too," I laughed.

"What?" JC and Justin asked simultaneously.

"Sorry," I grinned sheepishly. "Slip of the tongue."

"There will be no tongue-slipping involved," Justin T. declared adamantly.

"There better not be slipping of any kind," JC warned me with a smile.

"By the way," Jeff added, "if you do get the opportunity, go ahead and get seduced. I highly recommend it."

"You've slept with Matt, too?" Kevin asked mockingly, receiving only an extended finger from Jeff.

"So who's getting picked on?" Nick asked, coming in from their room with Colleen on his back.

"Yeah," Drew added, Caitlin on his, "we wanna get in our cheap shots, too."

I didn't even let it escape her throat. I just clasped my hand over Kathy's mouth and grinned, "Nobody," with a warning look to Kathy. "I just wanted to tell you guys goodbye."

"Do you really have to go?" Caitlin pouted.

"Yeah, squirt, we do," Nick smiled at her as she dropped from Drew's back.

"Actually," Drew added, "we needed to have left about five minutes ago."

"I'm packed," Justin announced as he zipped up his bag.

"Me, too," Jeff echoed as he, too, zipped up his bag.

I always hated this part. Goodbyes were always the hardest part for me to deal with. I guess because I didn't really have that much experience in that department. My mother was probably the only one. Goodbyes, especially to people I cared about, seemed very unnatural, and I just never seemed to get past that initial gut feeling that left me feeling so alone.

Nick noticed. He always did. He flashed me one of his incredible smiles and scooped me up into a hug and kissed my cheek. "I love you, Matt," he whispered into my ear as he squeezed me tighter.

"I love you, too, Nicky," I cried as I drove my forearm against his back, pushing us closer. When he finally released me, I grabbed Drew. "I love you, too, Andy," I smiled against him.

"How could you not?" he grinned.

Meanwhile, Nick embraced JC in much the same way he had me. "And you," he smiled, "you take care of him and yourself."

"I will," JC promised.

"And make sure one of you calls us if either of you needs us," Drew amended.

"Will do," JC smiled, as I gave Justin a hug.

Finally, I grabbed Jeff, "Come here, big sexy." He blushed uncontrollably, and I whispered into his ear, "Don't think I'm letting you off about Kathy."

"Not for a minute," he returned. "But thanks for the reprieve."

"Thank you," I corrected him. Turning to Nick, "Do you want me to come with you?"

"No," he smiled. "We're behind enough as is, and you suck at goodbyes."

I just nodded in acknowledgment as I grabbed he and Drew's bags from the doorway. JC followed suit and grabbed Jeff and Justin's bags, despite protests. We walked past Brian and Nate's door and stopped in just long enough for everyone to make their goodbyes before loading up the rental car.

The girls and I just cried as we waved them off. JC slid up behind me and wrapped his arms around me. I rubbed them and started for the car so that he and I could take the girls back to school. The girls were whispering something to one another, something too low for me to hear, and as I opened my door, Caitlin cried, "Shotgun!"

I looked at JC in confusion, and he had no more idea what was going on than I did, so we just went with it. I figured out pretty quickly, though. I could only smile as Colleen climbed in next to JC and snuggled closely against him. She put her head in his lap, and he just softly stroked her hair the same way I always had. We were barely out of the parking lot of the hotel when Caitlin bailed out of her seat and joined them both behind me. She clasped tightly to his arm, while he stroked her cheek. The three of them rode that way, in complete silence, all the way to the school.

Because of the lack of any event to which the parents were invited, I had to say my goodbyes to the girls in the common room. Luckily, we were alone, so we were all able to speak freely. After some tears, as much from the two twenty-somethings as the eleven year olds, the girls climbed the stairs. JC wrapped his hand around my waist and led me back to the car.

He offered to drive back, and I let him, too tired to keep my eyes open after getting up so early with Jeff. When we got back to the hotel, everyone was pretty much ready to go. To my surprise, JC had packed our things, apparently while I was running. As we all went through our motions of getting our things as well as ourselves to the car, I couldn't help but smile when I realized how quiet we were all being. In retrospect, in had been a very packed week, and to put it quite simply, I think we were all exhausted.

I asked Kathy to drive, and she, of course, bitched about it, so Kevin took the keys from me. Brian and Nate climbed into one seat, and after helping Justin inside, JC and I took our places as well. Justin pulled out his book and started reading, and JC rested his head on my shoulder. I don't think we'd even left New Orleans before I was fast asleep.

I know we stopped at one point, somewhere south of Jackson. I remember hearing someone ask JC if we were getting out, but seeing that I was content next to him, he declined for both of us. I didn't move the entire ride home.

"Sweetie?" I heard him coo.

"Mmm?" I managed.

"We're almost home," he smiled.

"Already?" I asked, straining my eyes to verify the image of the park near my house.

"Already, sleepyhead?" Justin laughed. "We left about six hours ago. It's the afternoon already."

"Really?" I squinted.

"Really, sleeping beauty," Kevin laughed as he hopped out of the car, before he helped Justin out. Nate and Brian followed, and from their lack of comments, I guessed that they hadn't been much more awake than I had.

I stumbled out, almost falling to the ground when I did, but JC grabbed my waistband and pulled me up. I turned around to smile a thank you at him before leading us all to the house. When I did get inside, all I could think about was sleeping again. JC half-led me to the couch and dropped down beside me. Nate looked like he might join us, so JC covered the rest of the couch with his legs, citing that he was saving a place for Curly, who, like Kathy, was in the bathroom.

Speaking of the blond, specifically the premenstrual one without the broken leg, she came in and made a B-line directly for the spot next to JC and I, and she made no bones about the fact that Justin wouldn't be the only one with a broken leg if JC didn't move his. Justin made his way into the room to find no available seats, so with a sigh, he grabbed some carpet in front of JC and me.

Brian asked Nate if he wanted anything, which he did, and though I don't know if he intended to or not, but he wound up offering to get something for the entire room.

"Coke," I smiled.

"Same here," JC grinned.

"Me, too," Justin chimed in.

"Sounds good," Kevin smirked.

"Make mine diet," Kathy laughed.

Brian just shook his head and went into the kitchen. Nate just sighed and slumped down into the chair, "Does anyone else feel like they're tired enough to sleep for a month, but aren't sleepy?"

Immediately, all of us smiled, knowing the exact reason for Nate's exhaustion. I wasn't sure which of us would get to it first, but we were cut off by Nate. "And the first one of you to say that I should have gotten more sleep last night is getting a smack in the head."

I grinned at Kevin and Kathy, and Kevin nodded. "Well if you had gotten more sleep, . . . ," Kevin began before being interrupted by a Coke can hitting him in the back of the head. Brian passed out the drinks and took a seat in Nate's lap.

"So what time do you two fly out?" JC asked.

"The flight's at ten," Brian responded, followed by a comment about a nap before dinner that I couldn't resist smiling at.

"Jeff and Cindy are going to be surprised to meet you," Nate told Brian. "They're convinced that I'm with Nick."

Brian made a remark about Nate having better taste than that, and considering the way the conversations had taken a turn for the disgusting of late, I decided to let sleeping dogs lie, for lack of any better analogy. Nate offered an appropriately cute answer, to which Kevin responded with, "One of these days, you two are actually going to make someone physically ill."

"Leave 'em alone," Kathy laughed. "They're cute."

"Yeah," Brian smirked. "We're cute." Nate corrected him, saying that he was cute, and Brian basically looked good because of him, which elicited an elbow.

Kevin asked them a bit about their plans, both alone and with Nick, and to be perfectly honest, I wasn't all that interested, so I rested my head on the back of the couch while JC absentmindedly let his arm fall back enough to stroke my jaw. I finally snapped to attention when JC said something about roughing it. I missed Nate's response, but I did hear Kevin point out that Nick was expecting to camp out. Nate explained that his idea of "roughing it" and Nick's didn't exactly coincide. He told Brian he would have to entertain Nick while he talked at a school. That caught my attention.

"What are you talking at a school for?" I asked him. When he said it was his old high school, I could tell from the assorted looks around the room that I wasn't the only one concerned about him revisiting the place he'd been attacked years ago. He tried to set us at ease by saying he'd already been there of late, and that he'd only be there for a short time.

"Sounds good, if you're sure you can handle it. It can't be easy being there."

Kathy asked him if he was sure about doing this, and he answered us honestly that he wasn't sure about it at all, but that he was going to do it. Brian voices his wishes that he could be there, but Nate pointed out the logistics of something like that.

"What are you going to talk to them about?" JC asked. "Just being a writer."

"I guess. I honestly don't know what I'm going to say. I'll tell them a bit about myself, and about being a writer, and then just answer any questions they might have. Who knows?" Nate smiled. "I might prove to be so boring that I'm home before I know it."

"Works for me," Brian commented, as we knew he would.

Kathy teased them, and they stuck stuck their tongues out at her. All Kevin and I could do was roll our eyes. Justin wasn't really paying any attention, his nose still buried in his book.

"So now what?" Kevin asked, trying not-so-deftly to change the subject.

"Now what, what?" I asked him.

"What are we doing tonight?" he elaborated.

"Beats the hell out of me," I commented, immediately slapping my hands over both JC and Kathy's mouths. "I haven't a clue. I don't have anything planned."

"Why don't we play a game or something?" Justin suggested, lifting his head from the book just long enough to make the statement.

"That sounds okay," Brian commented. "What kind of games do you have?"

"Backgammon, chess, checkers, dominos, . . . ," I began.

"Let's try this again," Nate grinned. "What kind of games do you have that all of us could play?"

I thought about it for a moment. "None. I guess," I admitted.

"Wait a minute," Justin said, pulling himself up and hobbling to his bedroom on his crutches. He returned a little later with a gift wrapped package, which he handed to JC.

"What's this?" JC asked.

"Your birthday present from Joey. I forgot to give it to you before I went to my grandparents."

JC opened it up, and it was a Warner Brothers edition of Trivial Pursuit. "Yep," JC smiled, pointing out the pictures of Superman on the side, "it's from Joey."

"I guess we can play that," I suggested as JC opened the shrink wrap.

"Wherever did you come up with such an ingenious idea?" Justin rolled his eyes.

"Some little turd, I mean bird, told me," I grinned, snatching him over my shoulder and walking towards the table. Everyone else followed.

"I'm on Nate's team," Brian offered.

"Ooh," Kathy rolled her eyes, "there's a shock."

"I guess the real question is what team I'm on," Justin pointed out, observing the obvious pairing-off of everyone else.

"Well," Nate smiled at me, "since you're a complete moron, I guess you can have Justin, too, just to make up for what you're lacking."

"He's not lacking a thing," JC defended me.

"Can we please just start the game?" Justin gagged.

"SCOOBY!" Nate cheered when he saw one of the tokens.

"I guess that answers the question of which piece he and Brian wanted," JC laughed.

"I don't think that was ever in question," Kathy chuckled as she pulled out Tweety.

"Joey'd kill us," JC laughed, "but there's not a Superman piece."

"So who are we?" I asked, looking over his shoulder.

As solemnly as he could muster, "We're Batman."

I just rolled my eyes and picked up the dice so we could roll to see who went first. Nate and Brian won the roll. I took out the first card and read, "What Warner Bros. romantic character sighs: 'The little petite, she wants to play the hide, go and I seek'?"

"Pepe Le Pew," Nate answered immediately, taking a pink pie piece and snapping it in. Brian, meanwhile, rolled another six, and JC asked the next question. "What comics superhero's first worthy opponent was a bald genius named the Ultra-Humanite?"

"Superman?" Nate guessed. I nodded and handed him the orange pie piece.

"Oh, that was hard," Justin smirked. "I knew that."

"We both knew that," JC pointed out. "Living with Joey on the road these last few years, I doubt we'd ever miss any question about him."

The next roll found them on a blue space, and Justin asked, "What cinematic character proved he could eat 50 hard-boiled eggs in an hours?"

Nate and Brian looked at one another and just shook their heads. "No idea," Nate finally admitted.

"What we have here is a failure to communicate," Kevin smiled.

"Huh?" Brian asked.

"Cool Hand Luke," I explained. "It's an old Steve McQueen film."

Brian just shook his head like 'whatever,' while Kathy rolled the dice. "What movie was based on the unproduced play titled 'Everybody Goes to Ricks'?" Brian asked.

"How the hell should I know?" Kathy shot back.

Nate turned to Kevin for an answer, but all he found was a shaking head, so he passed the questions to him. "Casablanca," Nate told him.

Justin rolled the dice and placed us on a blue square. "What country's civil war is at stake in 'Michael Collins'?" Kevin asked.

"Ireland," JC answered, honestly somewhat surprising me. Kevin told him he was correct, and Justin placed the pie piece on the base of our token. I rolled the dice again, and we moved to a green square.

"What Brando movie had three minutes of film removed to avoid a 'condemned' rating from the Catholic Church's Legion of Decency?"

Justin and I both turned to JC, who in turn, handed the dice to Brian. "I'm not that Catholic," he cited.

"A Streetcar Named Desire," Kevin barely managed above his laughter.

Nate and Brian got some off-the-wall question about some cartoon called "The Arabian Knights," which they missed, so it was back to Kathy and Kev.

"What evil animated pirate fed his foes to an eel-like sea creature named Constrictus?" Brian asked, immediately grinning when he read it.

"Jesus Christ!" Kathy swore.

"Is that your answer?" Nate grinned.

"No, that was a swear, but it might as well be the answer, because I have no fucking clue," she laughed.

"Blot?" Brian read with a raised eyebrow.

We had to roll again before landing on green. "What movie's lead did director William Friedkin cast after auditioning 500 little girls?" Kathy asked.

JC and Justin just shrugged, so I took a guess. "Annie?" It was a wrong guess. "The Exorcist" would have been the right one.

"What movie had James Dean wishing: 'If only Dad had the guts to knock Mom cold once'?" Justin read, and as soon as he did, I saw a look pass from Nate to Brian. After hearing the way his mom had reacted to his coming out, I imagined Brian could empathize with that particular statement.

"Rebel Without a Cause," Nate finally said.

"Yep," Justin grinned, handing them the brown pie piece.

"It's the only James Dean movie I know," he confessed.

"He only made three," Kevin chuckled.

"See, I knew a third of them," Nate smiled in his defense. I just shook my head and told Brian to roll.

"Who plays divinity school dropout Palmer Joss in 'Contact'?" I asked.

"Matthew McCona-whatever," Nate smiled. "He's a hottie."

"Leave it to the gay man," Kevin commented. Nate just ignored him and took the blue piece. Brian rolled again twice, before they wound up on green again.

"What variety show host made occasional appearances as Eunice Higgins on the sitcom 'Mama's Family'?" JC asked.

"Vicki Lawrence!" Nate shouted.

"No, sweetie, she was Mama," Brian corrected him. "Carol Burnett was Eunice."

"You interrupted me," Nate smiled. "I knew that. I just love Vicki Lawrence."

I couldn't do anything but roll my eyes. The corniest couple in the room were only one piece away from having all of them. Nate rolled a three, and they landed on yellow, exactly what they needed.

"What talk show host invites audience members to open the show by saying, 'Hit it, John'?" Justin asked.

"ROSIE!" Nate and Brian shouted in unison.

"Of course you two would know that one," Kevin smirked.

"Why?" Justin asked.

Brian answered as he ran his hand through Nate's hair. "We got together after we were both on the show."

"No, Nate made you cry after you were both on the show," Kevin amended with a smile. "You got together after Nick stepped in and helped you straighten things out."

Nate just laughed and apologized to Brian. Justin was confused and asked Nate what had happened to make Brian cry. Nate gave a half-assed explanation about his defensive mechanisms that no one was too satisfied with, so with a sigh, they went into a little more detail.

"I went on the Rosie show after I'd written my first book," Nate began.

"Your only book," Kevin laughed.

Nate rolled his eyes. "The only one you're getting a copy of. Anyway, I had met up with Brian and Nick after seeing the Boys a while back, and during the course of our conversation, Brian made his feelings about being gay perfectly clear."

"I was finally starting to realize my own feelings, but what was in my heart didn't quite match up with what came out of my mouth," Brian explained. "Basically, I said everything I shouldn't have, and nothing that was in my heart."

Nate just patted Brian's leg and rolled his eyes at him, "I pretty much land blasted him for being a hypocritical bigot when I saw him many months later at the Rosie show."

"Guess the ol' gaydar wasn't quite working that day, huh?" JC laughed.

"Malfunctioning a bit, too say the least," Nate smiled. "I was pretty unforgiving."

"You had every right to be," Brian smiled with understanding.

"Nick played middle man and explained to Nate what was really going on," Kevin continued, tired of the puppy-dog eyes, "and a short time after the Rosie show, they hooked up."

"That's a little oversimplified," Brian smiled.

"So's Kevin," Nate grinned, earning a kick to the shin from Kevin and a smile from Kathy.

"Can we finish the game, before their heads get any bigger?" Kevin sighed.

"Not a word, Kathy," I threatened. Nate just grinned and rolled the dice once more.

When they arrived on the center of the board, they got a question about what horror movie began with "So you want me to tell you the story of my life?" Like any self-respecting gay men, they knew that the line was from "Interview With the Vampire." Kevin laughed, and Kathy cried foul, citing that asking two gay men about a movie based on an Anne Rice book, starring Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt, and Antonio Banderas, just to name a few, was unfair.

"Ooh, Brad Pitt," JC grinned.

"I'll take Tom Cruise," Nate smiled.

"Absolutely," I agreed. "Loved the tighty-whities in 'Risky Business'."

"I liked 'Top Gun'," Nate told us, before quoting the movie, "Maverick, you big stud, . . . ."

I finished it for him, "Take me to bed or lose me forever." He and I both burst in laughter.

Brian leaned over and whispered something in his ear. "Excuse me, everyone," Nate said as he rose from his seat. "I need to get on the computer for a bit."

"There's a shock," Kevin laughed.

"You know, Kevin, I would swear a particular obscenity at you at this moment, but you might take it as an invitation, since we all know how those tendencies are emerging in you," Nate smiled.

Kevin just massaged the bridge of his nose and shook his head, trying to ignore Nate entirely as he laughed his way out of the room. Kathy cleaned up the table as JC and I made ourselves comfortable in the floor next to Justin.

I reached under one of the end tables and pulled out the deck of cards I kept there. Justin was absorbed into his book again, and JC laid perpendicular to me with his head in my lap and his eyes closed.

"What are you doing?" Brian asked.

"Playing solitaire," I answered simply as I dealt the cards.

"I've never seen that version," he replied.

"There're umpteen million different versions. This is just one my grandfather taught me."

"You're not really thinking about it while you're doing it are you?" Justin asked.

"What do you mean?" I asked him.

"Watching how absentmindedly you're laying the cards down. It's like a rehearsed dance step that you're not even consciously aware of," he explained.

I smiled and chuckled a bit. "I don't guess I am," I admitted. "I do this a lot. It's the step right before the cigarettes."

"You smoke?" Brian asked, a little surprised.

"Most nurses do," I smiled, "but I only do it when I'm really bothered by something."

"Something bothering you now?" Justin asked. A cringing look told me he realized he wanted to take it back.

"Honestly, not really," I confessed. "I'm just trying to psyche myself up.

Playing cards kind of channels it for me. It lets me do something with my hands while my mind is elsewhere."

"I guess that's kind of what music does for us," Brian told me.

"Yeah," Justin agreed. "When we write, not that I do it all that often, it's different, but when we're performing, it's a kind of escape, I guess."

"Pretty much the same," I smiled.

"You'll love Tyler," Justin laughed.

"Who?" I asked him.

"JC's brother," he responded.

"Oh, TJ," I acknowledged.

"Yeah, though he hates that," Justin told me. "He's been trying to get everyone to call him Tyler since he graduated high school. JC just insists on calling him that because he knows it annoys him."

"That's mean," I laughed.

"Excuse me?" Kathy smiled as she walked over and took Kevin by the hand. "Why don't we call Drew and get his feelings on the matter?"

"Point taken," I grinned. Kathy just nodded as she led Kevin to the kitchen. I wondered if she was going to tell him. I must have been lost in thought, because Justin reached over and touched my shoulder. "Huh?" I asked, startled.

"I just said Tyler plays cards a lot at school, so you two have that in common, if nothing else," Justin smiled.

I gave him a halfhearted smile. "How's he gonna react to me, Curly?"

"Honestly," Justin smiled weakly, "I don't know. He loves JC a lot, but he was never that easy on Craig." It seemed like he was about to say something else, but he stopped himself.

"What?" I asked softly.

"Is he awake?" he asked, motioning towards JC.

Looking down, I answered, "No."

"You sure?"

"Yeah," I answered again. "He's in REM sleep now. The rapid eye movements only come when you're dreaming."

"He's that deep already?" Brian asked.

"Surprised me, too," I confessed. "He shouldn't be able to go under so quickly, but I've watched him since we've been together, and he sleeps much easier than anyone I've ever seen."

"Boy, that's the truth," Justin laughed. "That's how you can tell when something's really wrong, he'll get insomnia."

"What did you start to say, Just?" I asked him, trying to redirect the flow of the conversation.

"Oh," Justin frowned. "Tyler and Craig did not get along at all. Tyler took JC's coming out okay, or so we thought, but I don't think it ever registered until he and Craig met. He was incredibly rude to Craig every chance he got. At one point, Tyler gave JC an ultimatum--that it was either his brother or his boyfriend."

"Ouch," Brian whispered.

"Yeah," Justin acknowledged. "That almost broke them up. And when JC found out about it, he was devastated. Family is the most important thing in the world to him, and having two of the people he cared about most at each other's throats nearly wrecked him."

"How'd they get past it?" I asked him.

"When Craig found out about Tyler's ultimatum, he left JC," Justin explained. "He said that he was not about to be responsible for wrecking the most important thing in JC's life."

"How long were they apart?" Brian asked.

"A few months," he replied. "It wasn't until Tyler came to one of the shows that things got back on track. He saw how miserable JC was without him and found out that Craig had left because he found out about the demands he had made on his brother."

"Then what?"

"Tyler tracked Craig down," Justin smiled. "He told him not to hold anything against JC because of 'his brother's stupidity'."

"That's sweet," Brian smiled.

"What's sweet?" Nate asked, walking back into the room.

"Tell you later, sweetie," Brian told him, kissing his cheek as he sat down beside him.

"Sounds like a good kid," I smiled, brushing my fingers through JC's hair. "Can't wait to meet him."

"He is," Justin smiled before getting a bit more serious, "but are you sure you're up to even more company next week?"

"Yeah," I answered after I thought about it a moment. "Having you all here has helped, and I want to meet his family while I still feel like myself. I'm not gonna feel like myself for a long time again." 'If ever,' I continued silently. Seeing the serious tone that we'd come to, and sensing that everyone was completing the thought as I had, I changed the subject. "So," I said, rather abruptly, "did you have a lot of e-mail, Nate?"

He looked at me in befuddlement for a moment. I just laughed. "You haven't been gone long enough to get any serious writing done, so I assume that's what you were doing."

"That was it," he laughed, "and yeah, a bit. Most of them were from Brad."

"The kid at the dance?" Brian asked.

"Yeah," Nate grinned. "He's pretty eager, though I imagine it's more having someone to talk to who understands."

We all just sort of nodded our heads as Kevin and Kathy rejoined us. I looked at her with a raised eyebrow, but she didn't say a word. I had no idea what they'd talked about, but from the look on both of their faces, I could tell that he still didn't know. I caught Nate noticing my stare. When my eyes met his, he sort of smiled. "Well, everyone," he announced, "as much as I hate this day coming to an end, we have an early morning tomorrow, and Brian and I should probably get to bed."

"Night, guys," I smiled, a sentiment echoed by every other waking person in the room. "He'd tell you goodnight, too, if he hadn't beaten you to la-la-land."

"See you in the morning," Nate smiled as he looked down at JC's sleeping form. "Justin, do you want Brian and I to give you a hand?"

"Yeah," he answered, closing his book and trying to pull himself up with his crutches. "Thanks."

"Night, Curly," I smiled.

"Night, Justin," Kevin and Kathy echoed in unison.

"Goodnight, all," he smiled, stuffing the book under his arm.

"Kevin, don't you think you ought to get some sleep, too?" Nate grinned evilly at Kevin.

"Why?" Kevin asked with honest uncertainty. "I'm not flying out tomorrow."

"No," Nate smiled, "but you are going with us to the airport, and who knows when room service could arrive with breakfast in the morning."

"I guess I'm going to bed now," Kevin laughed, giving Kathy a peck on the cheek and squeezing my shoulder as he walked past. Brian said goodnight to Kathy and I, and followed everyone out of the room.

Once everyone was gone, I turned to Kathy. "You didn't tell him, did you?"

"No, mother," she rolled her eyes, "and I don't want a lecture."

"Kathy, he has a right to know."

"And I have a right not to tell him," she said harshly, biting her lower lip.

"But you want to tell him," I pointed out. "I know you better than anyone on this planet, and I can tell that this is tearing you up inside, so just tell him."

"I'm trying to give him a fair shot," she said, turning away from me.

"Then give him all his options and let him make his own decisions," I said.

"He's not leaving for a few days, and if you don't tell him before he leaves, I will."

"That's not your call," she spat.

"And it's not yours to keep him in the dark when he's done nothing wrong," I retaliated.

"Don't you dare tell him!" she challenged.

My shoulders fell with my sigh. "I won't, but if he gets on that plane without knowing, you'll never forgive yourself, and when he does find out, he may not either."

I could see her anger giving way to the truth in my words, and she turned away from me once more. "Goodnight!"

As she stormed down the hall, all I could manage was, "Goodnight, Mom." I slid out from under JC and scooped him up in my arms. I placed him on our bed and slid him out of his clothes. Removing my own, I climbed under the sheets with him and laid my forehead against his chest, taking just a moment to brush my fingers across his lips before reaching across him to turn out the lights so we could both sleep.

I woke up well before dawn. We had managed to get to sleep at a reasonable hour, for a change, but in truth, it was my internal alarm clock that got me going. I was bound and determined that I wouldn't be as late getting the guys to the airport as I was picking them up from it. I looked over beside me to find JC sleeping on his stomach.

I reached over and ran my fingers through the tuft of errant hair behind his hairs, leaning in to kiss the soft skin I found there. He subconsciously turned more towards me, allowing me better access. I smiled at the dreaming grin on his face, and I leaned over to kiss him softly, slowly moving around the back of his neck and down the taut muscles of his back. I chuckled when I got to the minute amount of hair at the small of his back, because in his sleep, he'd managed to work the waistband of his boxer-briefs down one of his cheeks. I playfully bit at the exposed globe, silently hoping he rouse as easily as I had. Regrettably, there was no such luck, so I pulled the covers over him, pausing to stroke my finger against the arch of his foot.

I walked into the kitchen and started a pot of coffee. Stumbling back down the hallway to our bedroom, I grabbed a pair of shorts and JC's football jersey. I had no idea if it was clean or not, but it hardly mattered. I laced up my shoes and took off out the front door, stopping just long enough to grab the paper and throw it inside.

I missed running with someone, but it was enjoyable nonetheless. Noting the time on the time/temperature sign at the bank, I seriously doubted than anyone else was up, so I ran a full ten miles, knowing I would probably be a slacker tonight. My calves hurt, and after a charley-horse, I hobbled the last half-mile or so to the house. I smiled to myself, realizing I hadn't thought about anything during the run. Nothing good, but nothing bad, either. I honestly enjoyed it better this way.

When I got back inside, everyone was still sleeping through the darkness. I grabbed a cup of Java and dropped onto the couch with the paper, while the ticker tapes rolled across my screen with the sound off. I spilled coffee on myself when a hand touched my shoulder.

"Jesus!" I screamed. "What is it with you people and your obsession for spilling shit on me?"

"Sorry," Brian said, obviously taking me a bit more serious than intended.

"I'm kidding, Brian," I smiled, easing his own mood. "You just surprised me. I didn't think anyone else was up."

"No one else is," he told me, "except for me, of course. I just saw the light from the television creeping under the door and decided to investigate."

"Want some coffee?" I offered.

"Yeah," he grinned, "but I'm too lazy to get up for it right now."

I just shook my head and offered him my cup. "This is actually my third cup--I'm through anyway."

"Thanks," he chirped before placing the mug to his lips.

"Anytime," I smiled. "I'm gonna miss you guys."

"We'll miss you, too," he admitted. "Despite all the little heartaches and headaches, I think this week has done us both a world of good, and I think you, and JC and Kathy, too, of course, are largely responsible."

"Thanks," I said awkwardly, "but I don't think I had all that much of a hand in it. Besides, I think this week has been good for all of us. You and Nate have helped to put a lot of the stuff between JC and I in perspective."

"Good or bad?" he asked with obvious concern.

"Good," I assured him, and he just nodded. "Not to mention how you guys have become very dear to me in a very short time. That doesn't happen with me, so I know you guys are pretty special."

"You're not so bad yourself," he smiled, giving me a peck on the forehead. Looking at the clock behind me, he raised an eyebrow.

"What?" I asked.

"Wondering how long we have," he answered.

Looking behind me, "We need to leave around nine."

"That's not much time," he pointed out with a crooked smile.

"Nope," I replied.

"Guess I better go get a shower before Nate wakes up," he yawned.

"Probably, because if the two of you have to share, no one's gonna go anywhere."

"Well...," he grinned.

"Shut up, you big perv," I laughed.

"Hey!" he protested. "I doubt you and JC are exactly breaking the sound barrier when you two shower together."

"We don't have a plane to catch," I reminded him.

"Good point," he admitted before heading for the bathroom.

I picked up the coffee cup we had shared and returned it to the kitchen while I stuck the paper under my arms. I set it down on the counter and washed out the cup. I was startled by a strange noise, and I looked behind me to see Justin lying on the ground in his pajama bottoms. He just rolled his eyes when he met my gaze. "Thought I could make it this far without the crutches."

"Will you do me a favor?" I asked him, as I helped him to his feet.

"Name it," he answered immediately.

"Don't try to get around without the crutches until someone tells you to."

"Okay," he agreed halfheartedly.

We stumbled down the hall with him pushing himself off of the walls. I forgot to remind him about the bathroom doors before he pushed on one, giving me a great view of Brian's endowments.

"Sorry," Justin apologized in a whisper, covering his eyes.

I just reached in and pulled the door to, returning Brian's smile. I laughed when I realized that from his vantage point, Brian probably couldn't even see Justin. Probably just thought I was some voyeur or something. Shaking my head, I grabbed Justin into my arms and carried him into the den and onto the couch. "Well, that's everybody now," I smiled.

"What?" Justin asked me.

"Now I've seen everybody naked," I laughed.

"Horn dog," he grinned.

"How would you like two broken legs?" I raised my eyebrow.

"So, what's for breakfast?" he asked.

"Very smooth, Curly," I commented.

"Effort's gotta count for something," he smiled.

I raised my eyebrow again. "Delivery's a bit more important."

"Eww," he grimaced, "you're not gonna tell me about you and JC's sex life now, are you?"

"No, goldilocks, I'm not," I shook my head.

"You really do love him, don't you?" he asked me, catching me completely off guard.

"Huh?" I asked, unsure of what I'd heard.

"Watching you two together," he said, "that's what gives it away."

"Where the hell did that come from?" I asked in complete amazement.

"Dunno. I just felt I needed to say it."

"And?" I prodded, sensing his statement wasn't done.

"Just be careful," he said in a tone much more somber than any I'd ever heard him use.

I smiled, trying to add levity to the moment. "I thought you didn't want to know about our sex life, much less whether we're safe or not."

"That's not what I meant," he said flatly.

"I know," I smiled, "but what exactly did you mean?"

"JC doesn't open up like this, at least not so soon, and he's never fallen so hard so quickly."

"I can relate," I smiled. "I . . . ."

"Hey, Skinny," Justin interrupted, staring behind me with his eyes about to bug out.

JC leaned over my shoulder to kiss me. "Morning, sexy," he cooed as he pulled away from my lips. The surprise of it all left me with a bewildered look on my face. After I finally opened my eyes, I returned the greeting.

"Haven't gotten dressed, I see," I smiled at his boxer-briefs, with a fairly evident morning wood tenting the fabric away from him as he sat in my lap.

"Don't worry," Kathy smiled, announcing her entrance, "it's nothing I haven't seen before."

"And nothing I want to," Kevin laughed from behind her, pushing her along. Something was odd. When I helped Justin to his feet, I remembered something. He and Justin were sharing the girls' room, and only one bed had been slept in. He and Kathy had obviously spent the night in the same room.

I wondered what else they had done, making a mental note to do a little investigation.

"So, what is for breakfast, Justin?" Kevin asked, toweling off his hair with the smaller towel, the larger reserved for his waist. "I heard Matt ask you, but I didn't hear you answer."

I wondered what else he heard, but I didn't dwell on it too long. Justin stole my attention with his pout, "I'm disabled."

"Mental doesn't count," JC laughed. "Come on, Curly. We'll see what we can manage."

I shot Kathy a look, but she shook her head. I gave her a disapproving look and told Kevin to go get Brian and Nate. The clock was ticking.

JC and Justin had already raided the produce drawer for the fruit I kept in it, and JC remembered where to find the bagels. Justin scarfed one down when he leaned in to tell us the food was ready, almost choking, but he coughed it off, chasing it with coffee. Of course, it didn't help that he almost choked to death again. "Oh, my God, that's awful!" he gasped.

Kathy and I started to investigate, joined by Kevin at the entrance to the kitchen. "It's okay, Justin," we heard Nate assure Justin. "He knows it's ugly. He's just being an idiot this morning."

We were definitely talking about that atrocious shirt, and I didn't even have to see it to know it. Justin commented on it's unique look and asked where to find something like it. Brian quickly blamed Nate, and me, for that matter.

"I was there," I laughed, "but I had nothing to do with that purchase. That's all Nate's doing."

Brian tried to play it off and say that he made even that look good, but not even Nate could make that believable.

"My, what a glowing endorsement," JC laughed, reaching into the cabinet. He then proceeded to throw us out, though I noticed Brian lagging behind to help.

We dove into the food, pausing only briefly to speak, since we didn't have long. Nate asked Kevin how long before he left for New York, which I already knew, but the exchange ended with a threat from Nate to keep Carrie busy and Kevin's napkin hurtling towards Nate's head.

"We have to put up with your sorry ass for another couple of days?" JC teased Kevin, prompting Kathy to taut the virtues of her ex's ass. That, ultimately if not unexpectedly, ended up with Brian blushing and Kathy smiling. To save the last shreds of his dignity, he stuffed what was left of his bagel into Kathy's mouth to keep her from speaking.

"My God, I'm surrounded by bad influences," Justin laughed. JC pointed out that that was hardly new.

"New bad influences are always better than old ones," Nate smiled. "There's less resistance, so it's easier to give in."

I fully expected Kathy to jump in, but Justin added his two cents first. "The problem being that, if I give in, I might wind up a screaming queen like you guys."

Kevin chortled a statement of resentment at his inclusion in that group. Brian tried to talk up the perks of "playing for our team," but the hets in the room didn't seem to be going for it. Despite the stalling tactics, we finished breakfast, and Nate and Brian went for their things.

We piled into the SUV, and I sped for the airport. I was too busy watching the clock to really listen to what was being said, but it was smalltalk--we had no time for anything too involved--so I ignored it as I took the Airways Boulevard exit. In no time, I was pulling into the parking lot.

"Okay, who's coming in?" I heard Kevin ask from behind me. I turned just in time to see our smartasses, two of them, anyway, raising their hand. Somehow, I didn't think any of us needed to be told that Nate and Brian were going inside.

"I'm coming," Kathy laughed.

"Me, too," Justin added, grabbing his crutches. Judging by the assorted looks I saw around the car, I wasn't the only one who thought that wasn't the greatest of ideas.

"You' sure?" Brian asked. "If we get mobbed, you're going to be too lame to run."

"Who are you callin' lame?" Justin reached over and socked him, citing that there wouldn't be that big a problem at ten o'clock in the morning.

JC said he was going if Justin was going. I was going, too, but I'd already decided that before his announcement. Noting that, that meant everyone was going. I just shook my head and got out of the car.

They had already grabbed their bags, so we went to the ticket counter for them to check-in. They grabbed their boarding passes, and we stopped at airport security for them to examine Nate's laptop. We all followed them into the lounge area while we waited for the first boarding call.

Since there were others around us, we chose our words carefully, which basically meant we didn't say a whole lot. Luckily, the silence was broken by their flight call. Kevin hugged Nate and threatened to physically hurt him if he caused Carrie too many distractions. In expected fashion, Nate implied it was a veiled attempt to be near him. In the process of their goodbye, Nate said something too low for me to hear, but apparently not too low for Brian to hear, because he slugged him.

Kevin moved on to his cousin while Kathy embraced Nate. She offered the usual pleasantries and told him to come back, which he said he would. He moved in to deliberately say something we couldn't hear, and whatever it was, the look on Kathy's face was priceless. I would definitely have to ask her about it later.

When Kathy moved to Brian, I extended my arms towards Nate in an over-exaggerated manner, and he just smiled and stepped into them. "I'm glad you came," I told him in all honesty. He'd become a pretty good friend in our brief time together.

"You just wanted the autographed book," he laughed, predictably ruining the moment.

"Damn right," I shook my head, "and I better get a copy of the next one, too, considering that some of it was written at my house and all."

"Definitely," he smiled. I gave his shoulder a squeeze and stepped over to Brian.

"I've enjoyed it, Brian. You're not too shabby, even if you have a boyfriend with atrocious tastes," I laughed. "Take care of yourself, and take care of him. He's a keeper."

"Don't you mean that he's a screamer?" Kathy laughed way too loudly. Sadly, I couldn't help but offer my insights, "He's both."

"Don't let him get to you," JC laughed, pulling Nate in for a hug. "I'll be sure to give him a spanking later. It was nice meeting you, Nate."

Somehow, that benign statement got my mind going in much lewder direction, only to be torn from it by JC's mocking "eh?"

Nate told him to get in touch with him via Kevin if he needed anything, and JC nodded, saying that he would. I almost lost it at the perplexed look on Justin's face. "What the hell," he laughed. "I figure that if a guy's helped you get your pants off and into bed, you're in hugging territory."

I almost made a comment on that, but I thought better of it, since Nate, Brian, and JC already started teasing. "Y'all want me," Justin grinned. "I know it." He hobbled over to Brian and gave him a hug just as the final boarding call was made.

Nate told Kevin he'd talk to him later and promised to keep an eye on Nick.

"Then I guess the only question left is who's going to keep an eye on you?" Kevin grinned at him.

"Me," Brian laughed.

"Let me guess," Kevin smiled. "Nick's going to keep an eye on Brian."

Nate seemed all for that idea, and Kevin just shook his head. Brian made a horrible staged trip into a convenient position to give Nate a kiss on the neck, and all of us could do nothing but roll our eyes. Kevin told them both to behave, and predictably, they made no promises.

We made our way to an empty gate where we still had a good vantage point of their plane. Glancing around to be sure we were safe, I placed arm around JC's waist as we looked out the window. For added security, Justin slid up behind us and placed his arms on both of our shoulders, effectively obscuring my little PDA from public view.

Kevin just smiled at me and massaged Kathy's shoulders as we watched the jet taxi down the runway. We made it back to the SUV, and Kevin and I helped Justin into the back-seat again. "Hey, what's this?" he asked as I handed him his crutches.

"What's what?" I wondered aloud.

"This," he repeated, holding up four envelopes addressed to each of us, save Kev, that is.

"That would be Nate," Kevin smiled.

I took the one addressed to me and opened it. It began with two quotations. "The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man perfected without trials--Chinese Proverb" and "The race of mankind would perish did they cease to aid each other. We cannot exist without mutual help. All therefore that need aid have a right to ask it from their fellowmen; and no one who has the power of granting can refuse it without guilt--Walter Scott." I smiled at the thought behind the passages before reading what he'd written to me:

I know that you're bound to hear this a million times over, but if there's anything you need, anything I can do, just ask. You've undoubtedly got a rough road ahead of you, but you've also got a lot of friends to give you a hand when you need one, as well as a hero of your very own. Keep him close, even when he can't be. Thanks for everything this week.

Love, Nate

"One can endure sorrow alone, but it takes two to be glad--Elbert Hubbard"

I felt my eyes mist up as I replaced the note in the envelope. "Everything okay?" Kevin asked me. JC folder over his note and looked at me with a knowing smile.

"Yeah," I smiled. "Everything's just fine. Let's go home."

TO BE CONTINUED . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

As a final note, 98 Degrees seems to have gained some popularity on the Archive of late. They were part of my plot line from the very beginning, long before the crossover came into being, thanks to a picture I'd seen of the two groups together. To those of you who figured it out, congratulations. To those of you who didn't, stay tuned, the surprises are just beginning!

As always, feedback is welcome at: m_n_hunter@hotmail.com. I'd really love to hear what you thought of the crossover.