Thanks again to those who have written me about this story. I do appreciate the feedback, and the suggestions, as I try to make this as realas I can. Please, keep it coming.
This is, again, entirely fictitious, and if it's not right of legal for you to be reading this sort of stuff, by all means don't. The usual legal and license stuff applies - this is, for all its flaws, my story, not yours, and I intend to keep it that way! My thanks again to you all, and hope this is of at least some interest to you all.
Seal Rocks Part 18
The next morning, Jesse slept in. The late summer was turning hot, as usual, with a slight Santa Ana condition developing. The Santa Ana winds blow from the desert out toward the ocean at times between late August and November. A strong Santa Ana can generate winds of hurricane speed through the coastal mountain canyons, with humidity readings dropping into the single digits. Brush fire weather, big time, and absurdly hot to boot. Jesse lay with only a sheet partially covering his torso, his legs protruding and his arms thrown over his head, as if maximum skin exposure could help cool him off. The heat made it hard to sleep decently. Damn, he thought, we only need AC about five days a year here, but when we do need it, we need it big time. And it's early in Santa Ana season, too . . .
In fact, their house did have an air conditioning system, but it had broken down the previous year. The cost to repair it - nearly $6,000 for an entire new condenser unit - his father had deemed exorbitant. Jesse pondered how he might be able to finagle getting it fixed with his money and passing it off as the work of some anonymous benefactor. But Mom's starting to really ask about how her bills are getting magically paid, he thought. It's getting dangerous. Better to sweat for a few days than push my luck. He also wondered if that decision by his father hadn't hinted at something more than simple distaste for extravagance.
He grabbed his cell as soon as it started ringing, not looking at the incoming number, presuming it was Mike. "Hey dude!!" he called out happily. The memory of their lovemaking was still fresh; he'd spent some time that morning brushing sand that had caught in his hair out of the bed.
But it wasn't Mike. Erick's voice - tight, carefully controlled - came over the line.
"Hey Jes, how you doin'? Been thinking about things any?"
Jesse sat up, running his hand through his hair, blinking himself fully awake. "Hi Erick," he said in as neutral a tone as he could muster.
"So here's the deal," Erick said, still forcedly calm. "I got the place to myself tomorrow night. The 'rents are off to some conference in Temecula - in this shit," he added with a contemptuous laugh. "They're gonna fuckin'fry. But that gives us time to do - what I told you. Right?"
US? Jesse thought. Fucking US??
"OK," Jesse said, unable to say anything further without erupting into a stream of obscenities.
The leer in Erick's voice was unmistakeable. "You're gonna do it, Jes. You and Mike. I wanna nail Sandowski, and you're gonna help me. You don't want dirty pictures of you guys all over - do you?"
Jesse almost laughed. You got no fucking idea, you creep. "Ya, so you want to do it tomorrow?"
"Ya. The play is you two invite her to come by with you, since you know I'm alone. I'll have some booze, and we'll take it from there."
"She won't trust your booze, Erick. I'll bring some too - for her."
"Cool. Excellent." Jesse allowed himself a grim smile. "Glad you see things right. Mike's in too?"
"Ya. I'll tell him."
"Alright. Bout nine tomorrow night then?"
"Got it"
He heard the sound of Erick's chair creaking as he sat back, triumphant. "So, laterz."
"Much, dude."
He sat back in thought for several minutes before calling Mike.
"So we're gonna do it?" Mike asked, his nervousness audible.
"Ya, I think so. Like we said. I'll talk to Kate." He did, and they spent the rest of the day, and the next, waiting.
"You're not going to be up too late with Erick, are you? Or letting him do anything with alcohol or drugs or anything?" Jesse's mother was concerned. "I don't really trust him these days, Jesse - he reminds me of Eddie Haskel from the old 'Leave it to Beaver' TV show, only - well, uglier, to be honest." She sighed. "It's a pity, too. He used to be such a nice boy." She turned the corner off Pico onto Avenida Talega, and the tract Erick lived in loomed into sight in the twilight. Million-two and you get a tract home, Jesse thought to himself. Even with real estate all going to hell, Talega's a bitch.
"He'll be fine, Mom. Mike and I can handle him if things get weird. Don't worry."
She sighed. "Well, I'm glad Michael is there with you. The two of you are usually more sensible than any of you by yourselves. And - and of course I know you look after each other, so much." Alluding to their status as lovers was still difficult for her.
Jesse shouldered his backpack and slammed the car door shut behind him. "Relax, Mom. This is gonna be a good night." He waved and walked up the stamped concrete driveway. Lights played over the extravagant landscaping - dwarf palms, bounganvillea, ferns and succulents - that almost swallowed the front of the oversized house. Jesse knew every hiding place in those shadows from play dates with Erick (and usually Mike) dating back to their junior high days at Shorecliffs. Tonight, though, the half light was menacing, a foe to be grappled with and to overcome. The deep tolling of the doorbell sounded like a cheap effect from a horror movie.
Mike and Kate were there already, and Erick was already tipsy. He had some old NIN playing, entirely too loud. Yeah, Jesse thought, 'I want to fuck you like an animal.' Right. "Dude, glad you made it!!" Erick yelled, waving Jesse into the kitchen. He leaned in close. "You were right, she won't take a drink from me - got your booze?"
Jesse nodded. "My mom was throwing out my dad's scotch," he whispered. "She doesn't drink it, and it - I guess it like reminds her, of stuff." Erick's eyes softened for a minute; Jesse almost felt sorry for him. "So I lifted it out of the trash." He pulled a 1.75 liter bottle of Dewars, nearly full, from his backpack. "I like it, myself ,and I - uh, I think Kate will too, if you know what I mean."
Erick cackled. "Excellent!! I'm working my dad's Bombay. Love G&T's dude." Jesse could see two crumpled cans of tonic water already on the countertop. That's at least four already, probably, he thought. He poured three tumblers from his Dewars bottle and headed for the den. "You want ice in those, dude?" Erick called after him.
Jesse glanced over his shoulder and shrugged. "Why dilute it, right?" Erick cackled gleefully, taking a long sip from his glass, as Jesse left.
He handed the glasses to Mike and Kate, smiling slightly. "Drink it slow. He's already half wasted. And act like you're getting lit too."
Kate's cheeks were burning red. "I feel like I'm such a frickin' object here. God he's awful."
"Relax," Jesse said, sliding to the floor next to her. "This is even easier than I thought."
"I'm gonna blaze, dudes!!" Erick announced as he strode unsteadily into the den, holding up a grungy looking water pipe. "Who wants some?"
Kate shook her head. "I like the scotch myself," she said evenly, theatrically taking a too big sip and gagging a little on it. She giggled and made a show of seeming dizzy.
Erick smiled, his eyes only half open. "Ya, cool. Dudes?" The boys also shook their heads. "C'mon, man, I can't do it alone, that's not right, y'know?"
Mike was tense, Jesse could feel it. He patted Mike's shoulder to calm him and stood. "I'll keep you company at least." He showed his empty tumbler. "I got catching up to do, right?" he added with a deliberately lopsided grin.
Erick nodded and beckoned Jesse back to the kitchen. "I gotta go outside, so it don't like smell all dopy when my mom gets back." He stumbled through the kitchen to the back patio, Jesse pausing to refill his tumbler before following.
The sky was very clear - the Santa Ana had blown out any hint of coastal haze. It was still very hot. Even though they were in town, Jesse could see ridiculous numbers of stars as he looked up while Erick fumbled with a lighter. Jesse looked back at him as the pipe began gurgling. Erick was bent over it, inhaling deeply, his leg bouncing to some rhythm inside his head, his blond hair, slightly sweaty, falling across his face. You poor sorry bastard, Jesse thought.
"Want some?" Erick asked in a strained, holding-in-the-dope voice. Jesse shook his head. Erick shrugged, dropped his head, and after several more seconds let out a long stream of acrid smoke. "Damn, good shit, dude. You sure??" Jesse didn't respond.
Erick stretched back against the round glass table, took a long drink from his glass, and smiled drowsily. "Gonna be so good, dude. Get me some o' that poon." He made a show of grabbing at his crotch to adjust himself, then looked at Jesse, his eyes suddenly glassy and reddish. "Gotta thank you dudes, seriously."
Jesse let it slip a little. "We're not doing you any favor, Erick. You made us do this. Remember that."
Erick cackled a little, then coughed. "Ya, well, whatever works, right? So seriously," he leaned forward, his eyes now narrow, trying to focus, "you like that shit? Sucking cocks and buttfucking and all?" He shook his head, his eyes trailing off into some indeterminate distance. "So sketch . . ."
Jesse swallowed a large gulp of his drink. "None of your business, OK? Just leave it, Erick."
Erick looked up as if snapped out of some reverie. He seemed suddenly alarmed at something. The moment passed, though, andhe shrugged, hopped to his feet, and swayed alarmingly. "Need more gin."
Jesse walked close behind him back into the kitchen, making sure he didn't fall. He handed Erick the Bombay and watched Erick pour himself a glass full, no tonic this time, and slug an alarming portion down in one gulp. Erick wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and looked at Jesse, smiling. "Let's see if the little lady needs some more liquid courage," he said, cracking up at his own joke as only the drunk do.
Jesse smiled coldly, and they rejoined Mike and Kate in the den. Jesse brought the Bombay bottle with him
They had made good use of the time. Mike and she were on the couch, kissing deeply. Mike's shirt was off, and his shorts half down, showing his boxer briefs over his ass. Kate's shirt was hiked up some, and Mike's hand was thrust inside it, moving about her chest as she cooed softly. Erick stopped in his tracks, his eyes goggling. He took another huge swig from his glass and stepped forward. Jesse grabbed his arm. "Let him get her warmed up, dude," he whispered. "Night's young." He held his tumbler out, and they clinked glasses, Jesse sipping carefully while Erick again threw down a large mouthful. A bit spilled over his chin.
Jesse watched the show taking place on the couch, swallowing hard. This was the tough part, he reminded himself. Kate now ran her hand down Mike's back and under his boxer briefs, arching her fingers up on his right asscheek. Erick swayed, drank again, and reached into his pocket to adjust himself, not for show this time. "Dude, this is sooo hot," he slurred as he dropped heavily into a chair. Jesse refilled his drink for him. "Thanks," Erick said softly, and took a swallow. His hand was on his cock now, rubbing it through the front of his shorts. His head sagged forward. Jesse took the glass, which was starting to tip in his hand, and put it on the side table. Erick snapped his head back up, looking wide-eyed at Mike and Kate as Kate pulled her shirt over her head, tossing her hair as she did so. "So hot . . ." he muttered.
And, like the 15 year old lightweight he was, he passed out cold.
Mike stopped kissing Kate almost immediately. "Keep going a little," Jesse whispered. Let him get good and out of it." His cheeks were flushing at the sight of the two of them. He managed to crack a smile. "Besides, he's right - you guys are pretty hot."
Kate giggled into Mike's hair. "Can I have some more iced tea? I'm thirsty."
Jesse handed her his glass. "Here. I made it myself so it'd look darker. More real. Snapple didn't look right."
"Is that why it tastes so shitty?" Mike asked, rolling partly off Kate. Jesse could see that he was hard; the sight thrilled and bothered him.
"Ya, no sugar or anything. In the raw." They started to laugh. "Can you believe he never even thought about checking on it when I brought it out? I mean how fucking dumb is that??" They struggled to regain their composure. Jesse crouched down on his haunches in front of Erick, checking him out. They let several minutes pass. Erick started drooling.
Mike stood, running his hand through his hair. "Now?"
"Yeah, I think we can start. Stay there, OK? Gotta have the show if he wakes up at all." Kate nodded, her arms folded over her breasts.
Mike and Jesse carefully lifted Erick half out of his chair and started pulling his shirt up. Erick moaned. "Wut th' fuck - "
Jesse smiled and rubbed Erick's chest playfully. "Gotta get you ready, dude. Almost time."
Erick opened his eyes and saw Kate, her arms splayed, eyes closed, on the couch. Her shorts were unzipped, her bra strap down on her upper arm. He lurched forward, only to be caught by Mike and Jesse before he fell.
"Slow down, dude," Jesse whispered. "She's not all the way out yet. Here," he offered Erick his glass again. Damn, Jesse thought, gin smells awful.
Erick took a long drink, burped, and groaned as Mike pulled his shorts and underwear down. "I don' wanna hurl, dudes," he mumbled.
Mike held him by his shoulder. "Don't worry. Let's get you on the floor here, she'll be there soon, right?" Erick nodded compliantly and dropped, quite naked, onto the thick pile carpet. He was asleep within moments.
The boys stood over him for several seconds, watching. "OK," Mike finally said. "Let's get you out of here, Kate."
She stood, pulling her top back on. She stared down at Erick with clinical disinterest. "You sure? I kinda want to be part of this - making that asshole pay for - "
"No," Jesse said firmly. "This's been shitty enough for you. We'll do the rest." He looked at her with a smile. "What, I don't even get a feel?"
Kate stifled her laugh. "Your boyfriend got enough for you both." She leaned in and kissed Jesse softly. So different, Jesse thought. So soft. Nice, in its way. "You're sure?" She looked at him as she speed dialed her mother on her cell to pick her up.
"Ya," Mike said. "We'll take it from here." He smiled at her. "Hey, um, I'm sorry if I got too, like . . . "
Kate grinned. "You better get hard fooling around with me - I mean like, what an insult if you didn't!" She rubbed Mike's arm. "It was fun, Mike. Next time I want to fake my way past second base, I'll call you. You guys OK with all this?"
"Sure," Jesse perhaps a bit too quickly.
Kate nodded. As she walked toward the front door to await her ride, she called out from over her shoulder, "What a pencil dick he is!!"
They left Erick on the floor for a few minutes after Kate's departure. He was beginning to snore loudly, and his cock had hardened. That's no pencil, Jesse thought. "Looks like a fun dream, huh?" Mike asked.
"Ya." Jesse's mood had turned cold. He pulled off his shirt, undid his shorts. Mike went to the front door to check on Kate getting her ride. "Let's get going here." They had learned a thing or two about angles and lighting, and they were determined to make this good.
They were up most of the night - first with Erick, then in the kitchen after they finally carried Erick to his bed. Mike's laptop hummed away until almost 4. "This is the hard part," Mike said quietly, leaning in towards the screen, his index finger on the mouse pad.
Jesse leaned on his shoulder. They were still barechested, and Mike's skin felt so velvety smooth beneath his touch. He watched while nuzzling his lips over the top of Mike's shoulder. "That looks really good like that."
"Ya but it look like half an hour." He stretched, leaning back into Jesse. He raised his head so Jesse could lean down to kiss him. "You OK, Jes? I, um, I'm sorry I got, y'know, all hard and stuff - "
"Forget it. You guys were doing what you had to do, right? And - well, shit, it was pretty hot to watch." He turned away slightly. "Just, like, weird, y'know?"
Mike frowned. "Jealous?"
"Ya, sort of, I guess. I - I'm not sure how, though. Like was I bothered because she was doing it with you, or because you were doing it with her?"
Mike stood, smiling, and embraced him. "Like which one of us did you want to get with right then?"
Jesse sagged into Mike's arms. "I guess. I mean - it's like I know I love you, and I wanna be with you and all, but at the same time it's like, how does that feel - what's that like? With her and all? Would I like it? Could I really do that, with Kate? I mean she's like not just something to fuck, y'know?"
Mike chuckled a bit. "Well, yeah. Someone, anyway. But she's a helluva lot more, too." He pulled back and looked at Jesse. "She's our bud, y'know? She's - I dunno - special. I - I was really horned up there, but I don't think it would be right for me to do it with her. Wouldn't feel right - in my head, I mean. As opposed, y'know, to just getting off." He laughed a little, "And damn, could I ever get off on that. I could so have done it with her right then . . . It - it's weird, though. Complicated. So I - I don't think I would - with her. Do - don't you feel that too?"
Jesse nodded, then chuckled in his turn. "Yeah, I guess," he breathed. "Shit, we're like developing morals here or somethin'."
Mike pulled their bodies together. "No way, dude. Total pervs right to the end." They kissed then, long and deeply, and felt their desire grow. Mike finally pulled back a little, running a hand down Jesse's soft cheek. "Your cheekbones are so amazing. Your face, and all."
Jesse blushed, tossing his hair back with a flick of his neck. "That's cuz I got the shit beat outta me, remember?" They laughed against each other for a second. "So, are we set here?"
Mike turned back to the laptop; they scrolled through everything together. "Looks good, right?" Jesse nodded. Mike hit the "send" button on the screen and logged off.
They cleaned up the den a bit, pouring out the rest of the Dewars bottle and Erick's last, half drunk glass of gin. "Where do we crash?"
"Let's do it here. He's snoring so bad down there it'll keep us up. Besides," Mike added, stepping towards him, "I got some energy to burn off still from earlier."
Jesse smiled and reached for the waistband of Mike's shorts. "My turn this time. Will that burn off your energy?" He cupped Mike's left asscheek, his fingers probing toward the crack.
"Hell ya."
At about eight, they heard Erick stumble to his bathroom and vomit. They threw on their clothes and waited for him to come down the hall, but he just went back to bed, moaning quietly and walking with his head tilted at an uncomfortable angle. That gave them both a laugh, and they stripped again and climbed back into their sleeping bags. Jesse kept his hand over Mike's mouth this time as he mounted him, to keep his moans from awakening Erick too early. His own noise, however, was perilously loud.
They awoke again around 11, feeling the heat of the day pouring in the open sliding doors. Jesse closed them, found the thermostat, and set it as cold as he could. While it cranked into action, he padded into the kitchen and made some coffee. He'll need it when he gets up, he thought. Mike joined him soon thereafter, and they sat at the counter on stools, in their underwear, shoulders brushing against each other, drinking their cups and waiting. The arroyo in back of Erick's house was shimmering slightly in the heat. A hawk circled lazily over it, seeking its lunch amid the scrub brush.
At about one, a pale, trembling figure that might have once been Erick slumped into the kitchen. His eyes were focused on some inner point neither Mike nor Jesse had any desire to locate, his hair was an impossible mess. He was very naked, and didn't realize it. Jesse looked him over, noting that the marks showed up nicely, as he silently took the coffee cup Mike offered and lowered himself onto a barstool, sighing and putting his head in his other hand. "I feel like shit," he groaned. "I think even my hair hurts."
Mike laughed. "You had a hell of a night, dude!" he said cheerily, and loudly enough to cause Erick to wince.
"Ya, I guess. Good night, I guess." He looked up as his brain started to engage. "Hey, where's Sandowski? Did - did I, y'know . . ." He was embarrassed to have to ask. "Shit dudes, I can't remember. Did I, like - "
"Oh yeah, Erick, you did. Big time. Wanna see?"
Erick blinked at Jesse, uncomprehending. "See? Whaddya mean, like - " And then it started to dawn on him. He looked down at himself, his hands instinctively flew to his torso. "Wh - where th' fuck are my clothes? What - I got like hickeys on my stomach, and -" He stood and spun slowly, awkwardly around, inspecting himself.
"Don't miss the ones on your ass, dude," Mike said quietly. Erick looked at him wildly for a moment, felt at himself, and ran down the hall. Jesse opened up Mike's laptop, and logged on.
Erick returned in about 30 seconds, wearing boardshorts, his fists balled up, his bloodshot eyes wide. "You motherfuckers, what'd you do to me?"
"What you wanted to do to Kate. Wanna see?" Mike asked again, calmly returning Erick's glazed, angry stare. Erick swallowed, blinked, and looked down at the laptop.
"Y - you took, like, pictures?"
"Hellz ya, dude," Jesse answered, also very calm. "Just like you did. It's quite a show, actually." He gestured to the laptop; Mike had a chair pulled up in front of it. "Take a look. And remember," he added as Erick unclenched his fists, sweat beading on his forehead, "we've already sent them all to e-mail and stuff, so trashing this machine doesn't help. Got it?"
Erick stared at him for a moment, then sat down, very pale. Mike leaned over him and hit the start of the slide show.
There were twenty-two pictures. They showed Erick, lying on a floor between an anonymous guy's legs, eyes closed, mouth open, appearing to lean his head up towards the guy's erect cock and balls, which were barely an inch from his mouth. Erick's face on a lithe tanned body, lolling with closed eyes as he was fucked. Erick's closed-eyed face appearing to suck a cock, in very detailed closeup. On and on they went. Mike let the slide show click through at its own pace. The two boys stood, silent, and watched Erick. His face reddened, his fists clenched and unclenched, but he never looked away from the screen.
When the last slide flicked off, Mike reached over Erick's shoulder and clicked back to the home screen. Erick sat rigid, staring blankly at the dark screen. "Wild night, dude. So, here's the deal." He sat on a stool next to Erick. "If you wanna fuck with us, we'll fuck with you. You think you got dirty pictures? You got nothin' on these. If you wanna even think about doing anything to Kate, or to us - ever - we will without question fuck with you."
"What we suggest," his eyebrows now raised in a mocking negotiator's tone of voice, "is this: we will, all of us, forget any pictures ever existed, of any of us, or that anything happened at all, because if someone ever does remember, or finds out, we will fuck with you. Is that like really really clear?"
Erick stared at Mike for a second, then did something totally unexpected. His face twisted up, and a huge wrenching sob tore out of his chest. He waved weakly at the laptop screen, tears and snot running down his face. "You - you can't - don't tell people I'm like that . . . oh God how could . . . how did you . . ." And then: "I can't be like that . . . How'd you know I was like that? . . . "
The question hung in the air for over a minute, as Erick sobbed into his forearms, too ashamed to look up.
Erick lifted his head, a wild look of possible escape in his eyes. "Th - that's all fake!! You like, you Photoshopped it all!! I - that wasn't me like sucking anybody, it's fake!! You did it yourselves, cuz you're fucking faggots!! That, that's the kinda shit you do, you like suck each other and buttfuck and I'm not like that!! You're fucking lying about me, I'm not like that, I never - that's not me!!!" He was screaming at them now, rising from his chair, fists balled up, not to strike them but to punch downward to emphasize his point. "I - I didn't - you can't - Oh shit, you guys, how could you do this to me??!!" He stormed around the kitchen, punching at demons only he could see.
"You did this, Erick. You made us do this. Remember? I told you that."
"Not this, Jesse!! Not fuckin' this!!! I - I can't . . ." He sat down on a kitchen chair, put his face in his hands, and cried for a few more seconds. "Please don't tell anybody I'm like that. I - I don't wanna be. Like that. I'm - I'm tryin' to be good . . . I just - oh shit, Jesse . . . ."
The boys stared at each other, starting to understand. Mike stepped toward Erick, laid a hand on his shoulder. For a second, Erick covered it with his own. "Dude," Mike began.
Erick shoved the hand away violently. "Don't you fucking touch me, you fucking queer! I'm not like that, OK? I am NOT a fucking homo, I - that's not me, you can't tell anyone that - Oh fuck, fuck, fuck . . ." And he started crying again.
Mike hadn't moved. Jesse pulled a chair up on Erick's other side, and together they waited for Erick to regain his control. But when Erick abruptly rose, it was to lurch over to the kitchen sink and puke extravagantly. Jesse moved next to him and ran water into the sink to wash it down; Mike stood behind Erick and held his hair up. He vomited for nearly 5 minutes, gasping and groaning from the effort, losing almost as much snot as he did stomach contents, sobbing inarticulately between heaves. Jesse's guilt was becoming overwhelming. Both boys lightly rubbed his bare back.
Erick finally regained some control, washed out his mouth in the running water, and straightened up, shakily. "Thanks," he croaked, to neither of them in particular.
"You OK, dude?" Jesse asked.
Erick looked at him, and his blotchy face cracked. "No," he said, and he was crying again, this time against Jesse's bare chest, clutching and sobbing at Jesse, his hand running over Jesse's back. "It - it c'd've been so cool, dude," he blubbered into Jesse's chest. "Why'd you make it so ugly? You like ruined it forever . . . I don' wanna be like that, but it - it c'd've been so cool . . . "
Mike lifted Erick off Jesse and into a full embrace. Erick threw his arms around Mike, pressing his face into the crook of Mike's neck. "OK dude, we're gonna get you showered up, OK? And your teeth brushed and all like that. And then we gotta like really talk, OK?" Erick mutely nodded, keeping his face pressed to Mike. The boys' eyes met, Jesse jerked his head down the hall, Mike nodded. They helped Erick down into his bathroom, turned on the shower, and helped Erick out of his boardshorts and into the stall. They sat him on the small wooden ledge at the far end of the stall, pointed the nozzle at him, and closed the slider. "Feel better, dude, and then we'll talk, OK?"
Erick didn't answer.
Jesse and Mike returned to the den and quietly packed up. They glanced at each other warily from tine to time - their moment of vengeance was suddenly tasting sour. After ten minutes or so, with both den and kitchen cleaned, Mike checked on Erick. "He's still just sitting there," he said on his return. The look of concern was obvious.
Jesse sat down heavily. "Shit." He stared at the floor for a minute. "OK, we can't leave him like this. We gotta see what's going on, right?"
Mike shifted his weight, hands in the pockets of his boardshorts. "Am I supposed to feel like sorry for him? After the shit he pulled - "
"I dunno. No, I guess. But - but something's got him really fucked up, and we - well, I - I can't just walk on that. OK?"
"What, like he wants to fool around with us - he's like jealous or something? C'mon, dude, what cheap dime store psychology is that sort of shit?? Jes, you gotta remember how - what an asshole he's been. How he's treated us and everything. Callin' us faggots, all that. And Kate . . ." Mike turned partly away. "I - I can't feel sorry for him, dude. If he's fucked up, he deserves it."
Jesse smiled slightly. "And that's why you told him we'd talk after he was done?" He looked up at Mike.
Mike's mouth worked a couple of time before he answered. "Dude, he was - he was like crying - "
"And you felt sorry for him." Jesse stood up and stripped. "C'mon, I'm not gonna get my clothes wet in there, and if we don't go in soon the water'll be cold and that'll really be a bitch." He walked back to Erick's room.
Erick was still on the bench, as Mike had said, leaning back against the wall, eyes closed. The water was only hitting him from about his waist down. He didn't react when Jesse opened the slider, or when Jesse redirected the spray at his face and chest. "Jus' lemme go, OK?" he asked, very quietly.
"The water's gonna run out, dude. You gotta clean up, OK?" And Mike appeared, stepping in to the shower as well, lifting Erick under his arms to stand in the center of the spray. He looked at Jesse for a moment and shrugged; Jesse smiled back.
They were in close quarters, and moved carefully. Erick allowed them to soap him up, head to toe, without offering either help or resistance. His cock, however, rose almost as soon as the boys started rubbing him. They ignored it, and Erick himself seemed not to notice. His passivity started to worry Jesse - Erick was usually, if nothing else, active, bouncing about the room, chattering incessantly, unable to sit still in class to the point that the 7th grade counselor at Shorecliffs had told his parents he might have AHDD. But now he was raglike - well, except for his cock, which was rock hard, purplish, and apparently about to explode at the slightest provocation. They looked at each other for a second before washing Erick's crotch - not me, I don't want to touch that thing either - until Mike, with a slight frown, bent down and soaped him up, Erick drew his breath in at the touch.
They rinsed him, led him out of the shower (which required a bit of maneuvering, to get the three of them out with a minimum of jostling - especially of Erick's erection). They dried him lightly, still with no real reaction. Finally Jesse held the towel out to him. "Dude, you gotta dry your own crotch, I don't wanna make you go off or anything."
Erick blinked and looked at him. "No, I guess you don't wanna do that, do you?" he said flatly, taking the towel.
Jesse found some eggs in the refrigerator and scrambled them. They sat silent sipping OJ and powering down the eggs, until Erick ran both hands through his hair and looked up. "I been actin' like a real dipshit, haven't I?"
Jesse shrugged, trying to suppress a smile. "Well, ya. Kinda big time, y'know?"
Erick lowered his eyes again. "Right." He forked some eggs around the plate for a few seconds. "Well, sorry. Tell Kate I'm sorry too, OK?"
Mike leaned towards him. "Dude, what's up? You an' me have known each other since we were like babies."
Erick looked at him a moment. "True that," he sighed.
Mike spread his arms. "So what the fuck is up with you?"
"What, like you don't know? You haven't figured it all out already?" His face was contorted, anger and repulsion marring his smooth features. "Fuck you Mike, you know what's up - so does Jesse."
Jesse leaned towards him too. "It's OK, dude. It's OK to talk. Tell us. I mean you already know about us, right? It's not like we got, y'know, these big secrets, from each other. Not any more."
"I got secrets," Erick said coldly, pushing more eggs around his plate.
"I don't think so. Not any more for you either."
Erick looked up at Jesse, then back down at his plate. "Please don't say anything to anybody."
"Erick, who the fuck are we gonna tell?" Mike said, exasperated. "We barely can tell our own parents about us! How -"
"You told your parents??" Erick stared at Mike.
Jesse nodded, Erick turned and stared at him. "Had to. They - they thought my dad had, like, molested me. When I was in the ER, and all. They, y'know, checked me out, down there, and found, like, evidence." He could discuss gory details with Erick that he could never broach with his mother, but saying it all aloud still made him uncomfortable. "Because, like, we'd been fucking, so I was I guess kind of - I dunno, they could tell, I guess. You know." What a dumb thing to say, how could Erick know.
But Erick looked at him with wide eyes. "Were you awake when they examined you? Having that cold thing probing around up in you there is so gross."
Mike sat back in his chair with a noticeable thud. Jesse blinked. "I - uh - I - no, I was, I was out of it, I never felt - I - Erick, what the fuck?"
Erick closed his eyes for a long moment, then dropped his head. "Tanner Castilla."
Jesse wracked his brain. His eyes widened. "The guy who ran that surf camp last summer down in Baja?" Erick nodded. Jesse grabbed his arm. "Oh shit, Erick ,what happened??"
Erick didn't look up. He just shrugged. "He, like - he raped me."
It took a second for the boys to get their breath. Mike reached his hand to Erick's hair. "It's OK, dude. Tell us."
Erick sniffed once, loudly, inclining his head slightly toward Mike's hand. "Not much to tell. He, um, he was really cool, with me. He liked me. Told me I was like the best grom he'd seen in years and all. Took me for a special private instruction day - he called it - to this beach he knew way south of Ensenada, with a great right break." Another sniff. "He was right about the break, it was awesome. Nobody else there, it - it was pretty rad . . . And then," he shifted in his chair, "he got out some Cazadores, and I got really wasted. And - he raped me." He sat up now, staring out the window, his eyes moist, his face set hard against the emotion. "He got out these handcuffs and made this big joke about cuffing me in the back of his SUV. And once I was like tied down, he took my shorts off and - you know." He blinked. "It hurt, the whole time. He was really big, and - and it hurt. And he'd like switch from fucking me to shoving his cock in my mouth, and back again. He said - " drawing a deep breath " - that a pussy boy like me liked that." He looked at Jesse. "I'm not a pussy boy."
"I know." What else to say?
Erick wiped the back of his hand across his face. "So anyway, he did that, for a long while - I think anyway - and - and the bad part, the bad part was, I got hard. It was like I liked it - my body did, or something. Being split open and bleeding and tasting my own ass in my mouth and . . . it was like I liked it." A sigh. "He thought that was really funny - that it was like proof I wanted it, that I was his pussy boy. So he - he started jerking me while he fucked me." He closed his eyes. "And I guess I did like it - I, I came, all over the place. Really hard, loud . . ." His voice was an ashamed whimper. "I couldn't stop it. I wanted to stop it, but it came out anyway."
Mike swallowed hard. "Dude, that was like a 2 week camp - I was thinkin' of going with you, right?" Erick nodded. "When did this happen?"
"Third day," Erick said. His voice had gone dead again, monotonic. "And the rest of the time."
"What, like back in the camp?"
Erick nodded. "He had an RV he slept in. He'd have me come over about an hour after lights out, every night. And, y'know . . . I - I went. Like a good dog, I went."
"Did you tell anybody?" Jesse felt sick.
Erick laughed, hollowly. "Who was I gonna tell? Brooks or Ethan or the other guys? One of the other instructors? He paid them, shit."
"Well, after, then. You didn't tell your parents?"
Erick shook his head. "I got a fake ID that said I was 19, from Eddie Boynton." He snorted. "Eddie thought I was a total dick, like 'Why get a fake ID that only says you're 19? What's th' fuckin' point?' And, um . . . . I went to a clinic. Cuz if I was 19 they, y'know, wouldn't like report it, to my parents or anybody. They - they checked me out, and shit. Sewed me up. Tested me. I been back four times." He sighed deeply. "So the good news is, I don't, like, have AIDS. Yet."
He rose, took his plate to the sink, and scraped it. "They told me - they said, I oughta stop having rough sex. That it's bad for me, and all . . . dangerous. I was like, good point dude, thanks a lot." He shook his head slightly. "So, you know, I - I'm a faggot. A pussy boy. I got fucked in the ass, and I liked it. I sucked his cock, and I - I liked it. I liked it all, I guess." He turned to face them, snarling. "I hate it. I hate that it happened, and I hate that I liked it, and I hate him for doing it, and I - I almost like loved him when he was doing it, it felt so good, I like wanted it, and . . . I dunno. It, it's just all really fucked up, OK?" He sagged forward, defeated. "So I'm sorry . . . Just, just sorry . . ."
He resisted Jesse's hug for only a moment before falling forward, clutching so hard that Jesse could feel the nails dig into his back, crying now very silently, but with deep wracking breaths that seemed likely to rip him apart at any moment. Mike was next to them, his face in Erick's hair, whispering "Oh dude, oh dude." They stood for several minutes like this, letting Erick cry it all out.
Erick finally pushed back. "I'm sorry. I just - I had to do it, y'know? I - I had to like prove myself. That I'm a man, that I'm not a pussy boy who- who takes cocks up his ass and all."
"Dude," Mike said quietly, "you can't do that by making somebody else go through what you did - not even part of it."
Erick shrugged. "It worked on me . . ."
"Yeah, but - Erick, it - it doesn't have to be like that. It shouldn't be, OK? Falling in love, and having sex - it's, it ought to be a good thing. It can be." Jesse looked at Mike. "It really can be. It - it doesn't have to be all like hateful and shitty."
Erick looked at the boys' hands, which were just lightly touching, and sighed. "I guess. I just, y'know, I needed to prove myself. To do it myself."
Mike shook his head. "Don't let that fucker and - and what he did, make you think like that, Erick. Don't let him make you like he is. You don' have to prove shit, you're not like him!" He was angry, and started pacing. "Fucker. We gotta get him, Erick - somehow. Fucking predator . . ."
"I can't. He - he's got me, don't you see?" He wiped his face with his forearm and walked into the den. The boys followed. Erick opened his own laptop and started clicking. "You got to promise not to tell, OK?"
"Course"
"I mean it, Jes. Like really promise." He opened up an e-mail. It read, "Hope you enjoyed camp. I know I did. Here's some mementos for you. If you ever talk to anyone, I can sell them online for a lot of money."
There were eight pictures attached to the e-mail. Erick looked up. "Want to see?"
"No," Mike said quietly. "I don't need to see." Jesse felt nauseous. Dirty pictures. This is getting too familiar, he thought. His eyes met Mike's.
"Just please don't tell, OK? I've been scared, so scared, for so long. That somebody'd find out. . . you got no idea what that's like."
Mike had never looked so pale. "I guess," he whispered unevenly. "Look, Erick," he added, trying to pull himself together, "we, um - we, like, never knew, any of this, y'know? I mean obviously, right? We just - what you wanted to do was so wrong, OK? To Kate, to us . . . We just wanted to make it stop. And, and we didn't know how else to do it."
"I know." He sighed, closing his laptop. He glanced down at his bare torso. "So why the hickeys?"
Jesse blushed. "Um, well, that was, um, for like, realism." He gestured to Mike, who pulled down his boardshorts to reveal three marks on his buttocks that matched the locations of those on Erick. "To make you think you really did it. Kind of spontaneous, actually."
Erick started laughing. "So it is like Photoshopped?"
"Dude, we wouldn't like fuck you and shit while you were out. We wouldn't rape you -again," he added, the entire idea of what they'd done now feeling impossibly sleazy. "We just used your face and shit."
"On your body?"
"Ya." Mike blushed even redder.
Erick nodded, still chuckling. "So who did the hickeys?"
Jesse blushed again. "Um, group project, dude. We, um, we sort of got into that for a little while. Sorry. You, um, it felt good, to like taste your skin, and all."
Erick smiled reflectively. "Damn. Wish I'd been awake, maybe I woulda liked it." He sighed. "Even the ones on my ass?"
Mike giggled a bit and raised his hand. "Especially those."
Jesse sat on the arm of the couch. "Dude, I - I don't think you and us are, y'know, gonna - "
"I know. I don't want to, like, mess with you guys. I guess, anyway. I - I don't know, if that's what I want or not - that's what's so fucked."
"Like, guys in general?"
Erick nodded. "See, the problem is, I really did get into doing it with Tanner. After that first time. I - it was me - I wanted to go and get cuffed in and, and, like, fucked and all. It was, I dunno - like I was special. To him."
"Dude, he was fucking with your head so bad," Mike said
Erick smiled sarcastically. "That's the last thing of mine he was fucking with, actually. Well, most of the time anyway." He sighed. "It hurt so bad, but something about it - I just would get so hard and all."
"Ya, well don't like hostages and shit fall in love with their kidnappers and stuff? I read about that someplace. Was it like that?"
Erick shrugged. "I guess. It was like a couple of days after I got back that I started really freaking about it." He stood. "Can we talk about somethin' else here?"
Jesse stood with him. "Sure, sorry." Jesse felt profoundly ashamed. Erick's bravado, his constant bragging about his would be sexual conquests, his partying around with dope and booze, even his clumsy and vicious blackmail attempt - all made sense. What he'd been through. What he'd hidden, and hidden from. Why couldn't they, Jesse and Mike, have seen it - sensed something had gone off the tracks, spotted the shame and pain and terror and self-disgust and frightened half-desire beneath the cocky facade? They'd fucked up, they'd let a friend almost slip away. He hugged Erick tight, and now it was his turn to cry. "Shit, Erick, I'm so sorry ,dude. I shoulda seen it, we both should have . . . "
Erick nestled his face deep in the crook of Jesse's neck; Jesse could feel him breathing deeply and slowly. " 'S OK," He said, his voice muffled. "I - I kind of blocked off a lot of shit here." He pulled back and looked at Jesse. "I don' wanna hide anymore. I - I can't do it, it's too hard. Not from you guys, at least - of anybody. We - we been buds too long. And," he looked down, "I - I like you both, I think. A lot. I don't even know what, like, what that means, now, but I do." He looked up, his eyes mixing fear and a beggar's hope. "Is that like too weird?"
Jesse glanced at Mike, who smiled softly and nodded. Jesse leaned forward and kissed Erick once, lingeringly, on the cheek. "That's all you get dude. You puked like half an hour ago, I'm not even going there."
Erick smiled, his eyes moist, and slid back into Jesse's embrace.
Mike was suddenly next to them, kissing Erick's exposed cheek in his turn. Erick looked up, and opened his arm up to pull Mike into their hug.
"Dude," Mike whispered, "We're buds, and we'll do anything we can for you. But, um, Jes's right, y'know? I don't think I, like, wanna have sex with you or anything, OK?" Erick looked at him, a bit crestfallen. "It's just, like, I- I love Jesse, OK? And - and I gotta like respect that, what it means. All that sort of thing. Be faithful, and all. OK?" Erick looked over to Jesse, who nodded in agreement. "It's not like we aren't buds, or even more, to each other now, OK?"
Erick looked down. "I - I could go like gargle and shit. Brush my teeth. Would that help?" But he couldn't help letting out a long belch right then, redolent of bile and scrambled eggs, which not only belied his proposition but sent all three of them into hysterics. They fell apart from each other, howling, onto the nearest piece of furniture or patch of floor, the laughter deep, childlike. Cleansing.
Mike regained his composure first. "That was the fuckin' funniest thing I ever heard, Erick - how'd you time that?"
Erick, still rolling on his back, red faced, opened his arms in a shrug of resignation. "Just came out, dude," he spluttered. His laughter faded, he gulped in some air. "That's all right, I can still beat off to my pics of you guys."
Jesse couldn't help himself. "They can't be that good."
Erick smiled at him, sitting up. "Wanna see? You never really got to see, did you? C'mon, my turn." He scrambed over and reopened his laptop. Within a few moments the boys were looking at Erick's pictures of them. They were somewhat grainy (cell cam quality), especially when blown up on a larger laptop screen, but clear nonetheless. In them, Jesse and Mike lay together, sprawled over each other, in a close embrace. Even in the graininess, the glistening of semen around the heads of their penises, and across their bodies was apparent. They both had serene, smiling expressions. Their lips, blood-engorged, looked almost glossed, and very thick. Pouty, Jesse thought. Erick sighed. "That is so hot, dudes - like you just fucked and were so like content with each other, and just crashed together. Really sexy, y'know? Like - like you're in love."
"Ya,' Jesse said softly. "I guess."
Erick laughed. "Or like you're porn stars or somethin'! Maybe I can take some more - better ones, and all." He giggled shamelessly at the idea.
That suggestion cut too close. Jesse stood up. "OK, that's enough of that shit."
Erick closed his laptop hurriedly. "Jes, I'm sorry, I -"
"No, it's OK. I - I just get kind of weird about all this sometimes. I - it's a lot to like process, y'know?" Mike was looking at him sharply.
Erick rubbed his temples. "Ya, I know." He sighed. "God, my head hurts."
Mike smiled. "You drank a lot, dude. Nasty stuff, too."
Erick shrugged. "I don't do too well with it. I mean I like act like I'm all cool, but I'm kind of a pussy with alcohol." He shuddered a bit at his own unconscious word choice.
Mike helped him to his feet. "We all are, dude. We're still kids and all. My dad says you gotta have more body mass to be able to handle booze. He let me drink some Pacificas last spring when we were down in Carlsbad for a tournament without my mom - she'd piss herself if she thought I drank - and I did like you did - got sick, passed out, puked. It was so sketch."
The other boys laughed. Over a year's worth of tension between them had vanished. They were back to their junior high selves - buds, intimates, co-conspirators against the world. They found themselves smiling at each other for no particular reason. Jesse wondered if he could trust Erick with the other secret.
"We, um, we like cleaned everything up," Jesse said, gesturing toward the kitchen. "In here too. So when your parents get home it'll all be cool." He looked around, and saw Erick's water pipe sitting on the glass table on the back porch. "Oh shit," he muttered as he strode to the sliding door.
Erick was guffawing. "Great cleanup job, dude! My mom'd never suspect a thing!!"
Jesse came back in, holding the waterpipe between two fingers as if it were a filthy thing. "You mean this isn't hers?" That set them off again, as Erick took the pipe and headed back to his room to hide it. "I thought that was like for hummingbirds and shit, Erick!!"
He returned looking serious, and with his head slightly cocked. "Damn, my head," he muttered. "Listen, you guys want that thing? I, uh, I don't think I want it - to use it - anymore."
Mike laughed. "No way, dude, not me. No 420 here. Give it to Eddie Boynton, he's always getting wasted."
Erick giggled. "I got it from him."
Jesse shook his head. "What, is he like the dope library or something - lend it out, you bring it back when you're done?"
"Kind of like an investment for him, I guess," Erick said. "Give 'em the tools, they'll buy the product."
"Eddie's dealing?" Mike asked. "Does Drew know?"
Erick shrugged. "Hard to miss, his van like reeks of bud all the time. I think he just does for a few people - maybe he like gets a discount from whoever he buys from for himself if he buys extra. Volume, and all. Drew, hell, he's fucked up most of the time now -all this summer." He looked away. "Anyway, I think I kinda need to be over that shit."
Mike nodded. "Good."
They heard the garage door opening. "Shit, they're back early. Get like dressed the rest of the way, make sure there's nothing else out." Erick sprinted back to his room as Jesse and Mike threw shirts on and looked feverishly around the den. On a whim, Jesse clicked the flat screen on, and by good fortune found a replay of an old AVP match on FSN. Erick, running back into the room fully dressed, looked at the screen, gave them a high sign, and they all flopped theatrically into chairs.
A few seconds later, the door from the garage to the kitchen opened. Erick's father called out. "In the den, Dad," Erick yelled back. "Jes and Mike are still here."
"Great," Erick's father said as he entered the room. He had Erick's strikingly blond hair, but it was thinning. He'd gained weight in the past year or so, after blowing out an ankle in a triathalon, and still walked with a slight limp. Erick's mother was behind him, a trim woman with greyed hair and horn rimmed glasses. "Glad to see you boys, it's been too long." He shook hands with Jesse and Mike, who mumbled return greetings. "Glad to see you guys back together and hanging out, like the old days. You have a good sleepover?"
"The best, Mr. Yarnall," Jesse said, stretching. "Caught up on a lot of things." He glanced at Mike and Erick. Both smiled, their eyes distant.