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Screwed C-3
I modeled gay porn scenes to support my younger brother and myself. I was screwed in multiple ways after Johnny discovered my part-time job doing porn.
Remember, this story is fiction and in no way condones or condemns the action. This chapter veers in a unique direction from my usual.
The next morning, I woke with Timmy wrapped in my arms. I lay still, not wanting him to wake. I needed to review the last two days. Cam was a model in the gay porn industry. The DVD I watched showing him and Rory engaged in actual sex, no they made love. The difference? That was not firmly defined in my mind.
Timmy snuffled in his sleep, making a kind of light snoring sound. I thought about what we did last night, starting with Timmy loving my feet and finally my cock. Then I gave him a blow job and tasted a fourteen-year-old's sperm. Last night, I loved doing sex with him, sucking him, eating his sperm. This morning, I felt used. Timmy was to blame for my weakness. It was Timmy's fault, making me do that last night. He was fourteen. He knew boys our age were horndogs.
I always believed what we had done was forbidden, faggoty. This morning I felt sure of it. The guys on my Bantam Hockey team, what would they do if they discovered what I had done? If they learned I was a faggot? I couldn't be gay. Not if I wanted to stay on my team and possibly make captain next season. I knew I was a strong contender. Last night better be a onetime experiment.
I stared over Timmy's shoulder at the hockey poster on my wall. Hockey players were manly. They did not do what I had done with another boy. I had no desire to do sex with a grown man. Last night was not sex, not like on that DVD, anyway. Timmy and I fooled around. I lost control and Timmy was to blame. If he had not started the foot thing, damn him and the way he kissed my feet and sucked my toes. Maybe I would not have gone along with his faggot behavior.
I had apologized to Camden for calling him a faggot. How would I feel if he and Rory kissed in front of me? How could I deal with a brother who loved a man and what if kids I knew found out my brother was that way?
Did I have fun with Timmy? I guess. That was all it could be, fun. Did I enjoy it? I guess. Now I could tuck what Timmy and I did into a box in my brain and store it. In spite of how out of control we both were last night, how much pleasure I had felt, this morning I was thinking other thoughts. Cam, was gay. He and Rory could not deny what they did to each other in that video. Timmy and I did similar stuff last night. No, I was not gay. I could not be.
Timmy stretched, snapping me from my reverie. He turned, putting his front to mine. I felt his little boner poking at my tummy. I knew he felt mine.
"Good morning. Little Johnny is happy. Does he want to play?"
I did not respond. I did not know what to say. Timmy took the lead.
"Are you having second thoughts about what we did?"
I could not speak. I shrugged. "All this has happened so fast, Timmy. Two days ago, I called Camden a faggot when I learned he shot gay sex scenes. Then I did gay stuff with you. I can't be gay. I need to think."
"Well, something between your legs does not need to think. He has decided. I think he liked it a lot. I think he wants to do more." He pulled the front of my sleep pants over my boner. "Can I?"
I moaned. "I can't be a faggot. Not like you."
Timmy untangled himself from my pants. His face fell and his eyes clouded over. He pushed away, "I think I better leave." His voice was emotionless though I detected hurt in it.
"Yeah, you better go." I said. Timmy did not look at me as he stood and walked to the dresser to retrieve his clothes. Seeing his naked body did not turn me on like it had last night
"Timmy," I said his name. He stopped but did not turn. "What if someone discovers what we did? I do not know how I could handle the shame if this became known. What about my teammates?"
Without looking back, he said. "Don't worry about it. I won't hurt your precious reputation. Just so you know. You liked what we did. I know you did. Have a nice life Johnny with your hockey team. Timmy did not look at me. He left my room.
I was not gay, damn it.
I stared at my ceiling, just wondering how much I hurt Timmy.
"Knock, knock, Camden called as he stood in my doorway. Are you okay?"
"Yeah, why?"
"What were you and Timmy fighting about?"
"Who says we were fighting?"
"Your friend walked out the front door without a word. He was crying heavily. I tried to ask what was wrong. He told me to ask you. So, I am asking you."
"I can't Camden. I won't be gay. You can be gay. I'm happy for you and I am fine that you are, that you and Rory are a couple. I can't be gay." Those last words came out with force.
"Can I come in?"
"It's your house. Do whatever you want."
Camden walked over to my bed. "May I sit down?"
"Sit wherever you want." I knew I was being a dick to my brother. I just did not know how to turn off my anger and shame, plus my fear. Camden sat and was silent for what seemed like forever. I was ready to break the silence when he said calmly.
"This house is our house, yours and mine, little brother. Both of our names are on the deed.. Mom and dad had a life insurance policy with enough money to pay off the mortgage if they died. They owed a lot on this house. Most of the insurance money paid off the mortgage and the loan on the car we drive. Those new skates you are so proud of? I used most of the rest of the money to buy them. This house is ours, yours and mine." We became silent. I digested what he said.
He lightly placed his hand on my calf. "JJ. What do you think about telling me why Timmy left here crying?"
I remembered his name for me when I was little. JJ. I wanted to tell him like I told him everything back then. Last night had been too much.
"I don't think I can. I was a dick to Timmy this morning."
"Tell me what you mean by being a dick."
"I was a fucking dick. Do I have to spell it out?"
"How would you feel if you spelled it out?"
"Okay. We had sex last night. Well, not all the way sex. We did stuff. Don't make me say it?"
"How did that make you feel, what you did?"
"Like a faggot. There, you happy. I said it. I feel like a faggot."
Camden looked at me. "What do you mean when you say the word faggot?"
"Crap, Camden. You know what a faggot is. Why are you asking me all these questions?"
"I want to know what you mean when you use the word."
"A faggot is a queer. A man who has sex with a." I stopped. Camden watched me. "Go on," he said, softly. "Finish your sentence."
I whispered, "A man who has sex with a man."
"Do you think having sex with a man or, in your case, another boy would be a problem?"
"My hockey team would disown me. The kids at school would beat me. I can't tell anyone."
"You can tell me or Donovan and soon Trevor."
"You are family. You must accept me."
"Maybe. Am I a faggot to you again, Johnny?"
"No. You are not a faggot. You love a man, Rory. That's love."
Cam spoke. I heard love in his tone. "Rory is his porn name. His real name is Trevor. You will meet him soon."
"What? When? Where?"
"Slow down. How would you feel about flying to Vegas next week with me?"
"You mean it?"
"I do. I have a scene next week. I want you to fly with me." My anger melted. "Thanks, Cam."
"We might have an issue."
"What?"
"Well, I kinda offered to have two boys fly out there to keep you company while I am doing the scene. Then I thought we all could check out the Grand Canyon. You would meet Trevor. He will fly back with us."
I squinted at Camden. "What two boys?"
"I know a couple who want to get away for a vacation. They asked if I, we, would let their sons stay at our house. I told them about the Vegas trip and that you would be going. They agreed the boys could fly with us. Their dad has frequent flyer miles. He bought his sons round-trip tickets. I booked a suite at Caesar's Palace. They have tons of stuff for teens that does not include wagering. You three will have a separate bedroom, just the three of you. Trevor and I will have our own room. Each room has its own private bath."
"Does this dad know what you do in Vegas? Like, does he know you do porn?"
"I told him what I did in Vegas."
"You told him? Are you insane? They could lock you up. He has two boys. How can he be okay with you living in a hotel with his male sons? What did he say? How old are they? How can he be okay with that?"
"Calm down. I make adult porn. I have no interest in adolescent or younger boys other than helping them as they move to adulthood. I showed the dad a copy of the DVD, same one you watched with Timmy. He and his wife watched it. They said they enjoyed it and it spiced up their love-making."
"Are you sure you are not insane? Wait, how old are their kids? Where do they live? Do I know them?"
"Well, they are nine and fourteen. You know them. They live across the street."
"Tell me you are messing with me." My voice dropped to almost a whisper.
"Nope. We leave Tuesday, the three of us. Donovan leaves tomorrow."
I stopped talking. My brother was one step away from being declared mentally incompetent.
Me? I was so screwed
WELL: This chapter went in a direction I had not foreseen when I started it. I need to solve Johnny's issue realistically. There might be boy/boy/boy action. Have to figure out how to get there..
Let me know. Comments and suggestions at : < acgib1943@protonmail.com >
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