It was still hard to be around Scott, even though he so thoroughly wanted me to be comfortable. I was excited to have my best friend back. Especially since the past couple weeks I'd been convincing myself that if he ever knew about me I'd either be friendless or dead.
As he drove us to school the next day, he asked, "So, how long have you known?"
"You know, we don't always have to talk about this."
"I know, I'm just asking since we're almost to school where we won't be able to talk about it."
"I don't know. It started by noticing good-looking guys, then where I really wanted to see more, taking my sister's YM or whatever."
"Yeah? When was the switch to where you were hungry for cock?"
I shuddered at his course interpretation of who I am. "I can't say that I'm `hungry for cock' now."
"So, Ok. For me, sometimes all I want is pussy. I don't care where I find it. I just wanna fuck. Other times I want a girlfriend to kiss and hold."
I said mockingly, "And fuck."
"Well, of course." He obviously didn't pick up on my sarcasm, "But that doesn't even have to be the focus, you know? Maybe go a couple nights without sex. Is that how it is with you?"
"Sure I get really horny too, but mostly I just want a boyfriend that I would love and spend my time with."
"Really? I thought that all a boyfriend would be is guaranteed cock."
"No, I want someone that makes me feel good, that I can have fun with, that's good-looking... someone like you -- but we'd be having sex."
He looked stunned, "Are you looking to replace me?"
"If you don't start putting out, yeah." He seemed confused. I shook my head and mouthed, "Kidding."
"So you want to get physical with James?"
"I guess. I don't know. He's good-looking and all, but a little too stupid."
"Oh, so you want an intellectual hunk!"
"Ideally. I wanted intellectual friends... but what was the last intelligent thing you've ever said? Eventually you settle for what you can get."
"Ouch." He half-laughed. I expected more of a reaction than that! Normally he would've had some rude come-back. He pulled his car into the school lot and was lucky to find a space since we were late. "Don't get caught looking at anyone's ass."
"I won't."
"I was able to catch you. Just be careful, alright?"
"Yes, Mom!" We walked to the front doors and went our separate ways. I saw James only a few paces in front of me as I turned down the corridor. I couldn't help myself from staring at his ass, but this time thinking about what Scott had said. He turned around and I shook myself to get back to reality. He smiled and held our home room door open for me. James was probably about 6'3" to my 5'11", He was tanned and toned all over. His eyes were a sparkly, playful hazel that always seemed warm and happy. He had short blond hair that if he were to let it grow would have a slight natural wave. As I walked by him, he gave me a quick nod and closed the door behind us. Our home room was where they taught motor shop and car care (or whatever they're called) and, as usual, there was some residual gasoline on the table. James did his morning ritual of cleaning our table and threw the rag back into their can. His accuracy allowed me to easily start up a conversation about basketball -- after all, he was one of the school's best players.
When I got to newspaper, which is right before lunch, I got the assignment of interviewing Ben Miller, the star quarterback, for a feature they were doing on him. Ben was definitely the hottest guy in the school. My teacher had his class schedule and said he had weight training this period and that I should go set up an interview time. I wandered around the school for most of the hour, knowing that his teacher hated interruptions that broke their routine flow. So, when there was only twenty minutes before class was over I went down to the locker rooms.
It was swarming with hot sweaty bodies from both the weight training and the regular gym classes. They all had to get showers so they could go to lunch smelling nice for their girlfriends. I asked the nearest teacher where Ben was and he just looked at me, grunted and turned away. Ok, I'll just have to look myself! Which turned out to be the better option anyway. I walked down the center of the locker room with the wet naked bodies in the showers to my left and the half-naked guys changing to my right. Trust me, I did a thorough job of finding him, not a single body passed that I didn't look at. And since everyone knew that I wasn't normally there, they would figure out I was just looking for someone. I was in the clear. I was in heaven. Why don't I own one of those miniature spy cameras like they use on Primetime Live for undercover investigations? That way I could go back later when I had the luxury of slow motion and a pause button and get a better look at everything I was missing.
Ben walked out of the showers passing right in front of me and up a couple locker rows. He was a little over six foot, blondish hair that parted itself down the middle. With only a towel around him, I was able to see his naturally well-shaped physique and his weight lifting had made it even better. He disappeared behind some lockers.
I turned the corner and almost hit him. He was standing there toweling his hair off, stark naked! I sat there for a minute just glancing from my notebook to his body, memorizing every muscle ridge, the perfectly formed mounds of flesh on his backside, every detail so that I could go back and replay it later and have a wank-fest. His entire body was smooth except for the tuft just above his cock. His cock was beautiful! It was limp, but still seemed a little more swollen than it should be. His balls looked large and his sack was pulled up tight with his cock draped over them, swinging gently as he moved. Finally I spoke, "Ben..." It was noisy, I don't know if he heard me. "Ben!"
He turned and took the towel off, holding it with both hands at abdomen level so that the limp rag covered my view. He was curt, "Yeah, I heard you, what do you want?"
I cleared my throat and looked down at my notes again. I want you, dammit! "I was wondering if you'd have any time for an interview."
He scoffed. "Not right now!"
"No, no, of course not. I'm just trying to find out when would be good for you."
He sighed as if he were in pain. He opened his locker and fished through his stuff. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a hand waving, trying to get my attention. It was Scott! I smiled and nodded to him. Scott looked at me, shook his head, and rolled his eyes.
"I don't have practice, so today after school." I looked back, Ben had put on a pair of CK boxer-briefs that went half way down his thigh. My mouth started to water.
"That, that would be fine." I swallowed.
"At the front doors then."
I reconfirmed, "Front doors, after school. Thanks Ben." I nodded to Scott and walked away. My heart was pounding! Once outside of the locker room, I stood still and caught my breath. It had been like a dream, all foggy from the showers and the most beautifully constructed boy at school buck naked in front of me! I'm sure that Scott was the only one that saw me looking, I hope anyway!
I met Scott for lunch. He seemed a little pissed and got right to business, "It took you long enough to even recognize that I was there!"
"Sorry, it's not every day that ..." I breathed in, remembered the locker room, and let my air out, "something like that happens."
"I couldn't hear what you were talking about, did you offer to carry his child?" His face and voice showed no signs that he was joking.
I looked around to make sure no one could've heard. "Scott, I'm sorry."
"You were pretty fuckin' obvious! If anyone else saw what I saw..."
"I'd be dead."
"Wrong! WE'D be dead. If you're exposed, I go down with the ship."
"That's crazy, no one would think that!"
"Of course they would! Are you completely stupid?" The girl in front of us turned to look at us. How much did she hear? It was a loud, busy lunchroom. She heard nothing, she couldn't have.
"Later, alright?"
He didn't respond, just turned around and faced the line.
"I have an interview with him after school. I don't know if you heard that."
He was monotone, uncaring. "Good for you."
"So I'll need you to wait for me."
He didn't turn. "That's fine. Whatever."
"Fine, fuck you, too." We got our lunches in silence. We sat at our table with our friends, never looking at or speaking to each other.
As the rest of my day went on, I began to resent the way that I'd reacted. He was just trying to keep both of us safe. No harm in that.
After my last class, I waited at the front doors for a few minutes before I saw Ben. He was with a group of his football buddies, most of them hot but cocky, all in their letterman's jackets. I stood there, uncomfortable, while they all talked. I was on the outside of their discussion circle and didn't know how to behave, so I just shifted my weight nervously and waited. Finally, they all started for the door, Ben called out, "I'll see you guys later." They looked a little shocked that Ben would need to stop and talk with me, but shrugged it off and kept walking. "So, what do you want to know?"
"We're doing a feature on you for the next paper and I needed some questions and some pictures." Oh no! I need ANSWERS, I've already got the questions! Ugh.
"Pictures? In just these clothes?"
Well, actually I'd like to do some nudes... "What do you mean?"
He looked a little impatient, "I mean, not in uniform?"
"Oh! No, our sports photographer has some of you from some games."
"I didn't know that. Hey, uh, Jeff, right?" I nodded, realizing that I should've introduced myself in the locker room, but was curious as to how he'd know my name in a school of over 3500. "You live sorta close to me, don't you?"
"Uh, I don't know. Where do you live?"
"I'm in Eagle Meadows. You're in Golden Pond aren't you? Just on the other side of 1060th?"
"Yeah..." What? He knows what neighborhood I'm in?
"That guy that you're always with... is he your--" Holy shit! Ben knows that I'm gay and thinks that Scott and I are lovers!
"No, no! We're just friends..."
He paused and just looked at me, confused. "I was going to say `ride home,' what did you think I was going to say?"
Just then Scott appeared next to me from out of the throng of people leaving the building. "He probably thought you were going to ask if we were brothers. Everyone asks that, so it's almost second nature for him to cut people off if they start asking. Right, Jeff?" He flashed me a dirty look.
"Yeah! Brothers. I thought you were going to ask if we were brothers."
Scott asked, "How much time do you need?"
Ben answered for me, "He lives pretty close to me, I can just take him home and do the interview on the way. Save us all some time, how `bout that?"
Scott was a little surprised, almost as much as me. "Sure, hey, whatever you want." He turned to me, "I'll be by later."
We walked out, down the front steps and through the lot in complete silence until we got to his white 1991 BMW 325i, a gorgeous car. He pushed a button on his key ring and the doors unlocked. I got in. I sat in awe. "Nice car!"
"Thanks. It used to be my uncle's, then he died."
"Sorry to hear that."
"I wasn't! I love this car! So, what questions did you have?"
"Uh, hold on." I rifled through my book bag, why hadn't I been prepared? I got the notebook and a pencil. He pulled out of the lot. "What other sports do you play or have you played?"
"Well, hmm. In junior high I was in little league baseball, I play basketball with my older brother, I golf most Saturdays with my dad, snow-boarding, skiing, waterskiing, soccer when I was in grade school..." I was feverishly jotting down everything I could. "I used to bowl... but don't write that down... Hmm. I coach my little brother's little league during the summer, but that's not really your question."
"No, that's good! It shows you have heart or something."
"We don't want it to show that! No, it shows I needed a job."
"Of course, you have to maintain your image."
He seemed a little defensive. "What? What do you mean by that?"
"The tough guy image. If people found out that you had a heart... shit, your social life would be over, wouldn't it?" I couldn't believe that I was saying this! The words just came out without thinking! Probably no one had ever been so blunt with him!
"Whatever, dude. I'm not like that."
"Well, I think we should put it in then."
"I don't know..."
"Your friends probably won't even read it."
"My friends probably can't read." We laughed. "I don't even know if they know the school makes a paper. No offense to you..."
"Oh, I'm used to it. I write for my assignment. I don't actually think anyone but the principal reads it."
"You've written some pretty good articles."
I almost choked, "You've read my articles?"
"Yeah, I really liked your editorial that makes you think it's about a funeral with how it talks about everyone in black and the guy dying and how you never really knew him so why should you cry. Then at the end it turns out that you were talking about yourself as the one who died -- in some other way, like the 'old you' is dead or something -- and then you walk across the podium to get your diploma."
"You actually got that?! So many people had no idea I was talking about graduation! Everyone was telling me it was dark and twisted. The principal had my counselor call me in to see what was wrong with me."
"It was pretty subtle. I didn't know what it was really about until the last sentence. Maybe it could've been more obvious."
"But it would've lost everything."
"Yeah, of course it would've. You could've at least said 'diploma.' But as it stands, hardly anyone got it."
I couldn't believe that he read my articles... and that he got that editorial that went over everyone's head. We'd been driving for a while and were entering my housing development. We were coming up on a baseball diamond with some neighborhood kids playing a game, "Pull over."
"What?" He pulled his car into the small lot.
"I have an idea." I got my camera out of the case, "Get out." Immediately after I said it, I realized just how strange this all was. I was giving Ben Miller orders! And he was obeying! He was a hundred times nicer than I ever thought he'd be. "Let's go get some pictures!"
"But I don't coach them."
"It doesn't matter." We walked over to the game and watched for a few minutes. When they were switching innings I spoke up, "Hey, would it be OK if my friend Ben here pitched a few balls to you guys? I need some pictures."
The boys stopped and looked at me, then at each other. One kid, who was now going to be up to bat, spoke up, "That's not fair! We won't be able to hit them!"
"He'll go easy on you. You don't even have to count what he pitches. It'll just be some practice."
Enough kids agreed, some probably recognizing who this stud was.
Ben whispered to me as a kid threw him the ball. "I'm not a pitcher."
"Oh well, you'll do fine!" Everyone took their positions. I tried to figure a good angle. I got behind Ben so you could see the batter in the background but out of focus so that it didn't matter he didn't coach them. For my personal collection, I took some shots of his ass. I was able to get a couple of shots with the ball in mid-air on its way to the plate. I stood behind the catcher and got some on his wind up and pitch. I also got some more candid shots when he wasn't playing or posing. He instinctively started giving coaching advice to the kids. One shot is of him helping a kid out with his grip on the bat, after repeatedly telling the kid to grip lower and finally going up to the batter to help him out. The kid got really excited because he was able to hit the farthest he'd ever done. With each batter he'd give words of encouragement, "There you go! Good job! Way to go!" Sometimes some of the kids would make fun of the way a kid would hit, or the way a baseman or outfielder threw the ball, Ben wouldn't tolerate it. He'd stick up for the kid and give some pointers if he could. Those kids faces lit up so quickly! Here was this big highschool jock sticking up for them, the bullies quickly learned and stopped harassing.
I hit the end of my second (and last) roll of film. I hadn't planned on getting more than 3 or 4 shots! I announced "Well, sorry kids, we've gotta go!"
They all voiced their disapproval of my decision. Ben looked to me, "We can stay for a little longer, can't we?"
"Sure, I just thought..." All the boys cheered that he was going to stay. Each one was eager to get up and learn more or show off what they'd learned.
We ended up staying for the rest of the game, Ben switched off and taught some of the other kids how to improve their pitching. He then played catcher so he could be there to help batters with their stance or swing. At the end of the game the kids wanted to play again, but we were able to pull away. For me that only meant stepping out from behind the fence behind home plate. One cute blond-headed little boy (that Ben had stuck up for and taught to pitch) came up to him and asked him, with a look of pleading and hope in his eyes, "Are you ever coming back to play again?"
Ben rubbed the top of the boy's head, messing his hair up, "I'll try." Ben was smiling silently all the way back to the car. We got in, he turned to me before starting it. "Thanks. That was a good idea." He saw my camera in my lap as he was pulling out. "Oh yeah! Did you get any good shots?"
Thinking of the zooms I'd gotten of his ass, "Yeah, I think I did." We rode in a comfortable silence for a little while.
Finally, he spoke, "It was so much fun to be a kid. When everything was about the fun of the game, instead of the brutal competition." I quickly jotted everything down. "Oh no... what are you doing?"
"I think we've just found our pulled quote that'll be by one of those pictures I just took."
"Great... Remind me why I'm letting you do this to me?"
"Girl's will like it."
"I'm not sure if that's enough." He pulled to a stop. "This is your house, right?"
I looked over, "Yeah..." How did he know?? I have no idea where his house is!
"Lemme know when you get those pictures back. I may want some, alrighty?"
I collected my stuff and got out. "Alrighty. See ya!"
"Bye!" I walked to my front door trying to soak in what just happened. I got inside, went to my room upstairs and was startled to find Scott sitting on my bed.
He looked at me and spoke in his recently acquired asshole voice, "Quite the interview." The harsh edge to his voice he'd had at lunch was still there. "What the hell took you so long?" I was too happy to care about his mood.
"I had to get some pictures of him."
"I hope your eyes kept their mouths shut when you were with him, because they are screaming now!"
"Oh, Scott. I had an excellent time! He's great and he's funny and nice and wow... his smile!"
"I've been waiting here for over an hour."
"Scott, I thought you'd be at least a little happy for me!"
"Happy because you're getting your hopes up only to have them crushed? Or happy because one false move and your life as you know comes to a crashing halt? You do know that even though you may have `bonded' with Ben, I doubt he'll think about it at all while you'll be here masturbating all night. Hardly anyone you lust after will ever think of you in that way. I'm taking off." I didn't even hear the front door close before I'd grown a wood that needed some attention.
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