I was in my car with Kyle in the passenger seat and a smile on my face. He didn't know he was saving me from my bad thoughts, but he was. Every time I thought about my parents and felt a twinge of sadness, he did something that made me forget them for a second, or I thought about him and everything seemed okay.
"So what are you thinking about?"
"Let's see. Waking up next to you this morning. Tasting you. Wearing your clothes. Making out with you on your bed. Taking a shower with you. Wearing your underwear and your clothes."
"Yeah, I was good to you this morning, wasn't I?"
I could almost hear him smiling. I glanced over at him, "Yeah, you were." He didn't know what he had done for me. I was a complete wreck the night before and he handled me like a pro. He was gentle and comforting and he didn't pressure me to tell him everything. I knew I would have to go in to more detail about my family because I owed him that and I wanted to tell him one day, but I wasn't ready to talk about it with anyone other than Chris and that was only because Chris already knew everything. Thinking about Chris reminded me that he and Jessica were having issues. "There's so much going on," I said.
He sighed, "I know."
We listened to the radio the rest of the way. I didn't want to get out of the car when we got to the hospital, but I knew we had to go in there. I gave myself a mental pep talk as we walked towards the entrance. We walked in Nick's room and he was eating lunch. His mother was sitting on the bed with him and Kyle's mother was sitting in a chair.
"What took you two so long?" asked Kyle's mother.
"Well hello, I'm fine. Thank you for asking." At first I thought Kyle misheard his mother, but when I saw the grin on his face, I knew he was avoiding the question. "Hey Nick and Ms. Johnson." They both smiled at him.
"Okay now you've spoken to everyone. What took you two so long? I've been to your school, had a meeting with your principal, talked to your father and I still beat the two of you here."
I thought about what we had been doing and I blushed. Kyle seemed unfazed. "Mom, we talked for while, then we both had to take showers and then I had to find Pat something to wear."
"Oh, so you two are sharing clothes now?" Nick asked.
"Pat spent the night."
"Oh and sleeping together, too? Wow! One night in the hospital and the whole world changes." Nick smirked at us.
"Shut up," Kyle told him. "So how are you feeling?"
"Good and I'm sorry about yesterday. I lost it for a few minutes."
"It's okay. You were drugged."
"Yeah, that's what they tell me." He scrunched his nose and made a disgusted face then he took a few sniffs of the air. "Do you smell that?"
"What?" Kyle asked.
"Smells like a lawsuit to me." Nick and Kyle started
laughing and as usual, I wasn't amused. Nick could have been
seriously hurt and there they were making it in to a joke.
Their mothers shook their heads. When the laughter stopped,
Nick said, "I get out tomorrow."
"You do?" Kyle asked.
"Yep. The doctor said I can go home tomorrow."
"That's great!" Kyle told him.
Kyle's mother said, "You're going to help take care of
him." When Kyle was talking to Nick, I felt left out,
but when his mother was talking to him, I felt invisible. "Okay," he grabbed my hand, "Pat and I can take care of him." Something in me jumped as my heart skipped a beat and I came in to focus.
"That's fine with me. You can both take care of him after school."
"School?" Kyle questioned.
"Yes, school. I went to see your principal today and I gave him a piece of my mind. When I was done with him, he was willing to give me anything I wanted."
"Really?" I asked, finally feeling as if I belonged in the room.
"Okay, I might be exaggerating a little. I did tell him off, but it seems that John's father put in a good word for all of you and you are free to return to school whenever you like. I'm wondering who John's father is though. He seems to have a lot of weight in this town and I never heard of him before yesterday."
"You don't want to know him. He has a lot of money, a little dirt on some influential people and a short fuse."
"You've met him before?" she asked.
"Yes, but it wasn't a good experience."
"What happened?" I must have had a look of horror on my face because she quickly said, "Forget I asked. It's none of my business."
I felt Kyle let go of my hand and I wanted to pass out until his arm went around my shoulder and he leaned close to me and whispered, "Relax." He kissed my cheek.
"Ewww!" Nick teased.
"Shut up." I told him as I rolled my eyes. I relaxed in to Kyle, allowing myself to almost melt in to his body. I had to admit that holding hands felt good, but being pressed against him like we were joined at the hip felt even better.
"Are you boys going to sit down?" asked Nick's mother.
We smiled and started walking towards Nick's bed. "Don't sit yet Kyle. I need to talk to you in the hallway," his mother said.
They walked in the hallway and I was left in the room with Nick and his mother. I sat down on the edge of the bed, opposite his mother and tried to pretend I wasn't there. My mind quickly ran to the thought of going back to school after all that happened. The idea seemed overwhelming. I wondered how people would treat us and I worried about the way the principal and the vice-principal would act. I wasn't ready to go back so soon, but I wouldn't let Kyle go through that alone. John's father was cruel to force him to go back to school so soon while everything was still fresh and Kyle's mother, well she wasn't cruel, but she had to be ill- informed to think we could just go back to school and resume our regular lives. Nothing would be the same because everything had gone too far.
Nick interrupted my thoughts when he slammed his fork on his tray. "That food tasted like shit," he announced.
"Well you ate it all," I told him.
"I was hungry."
I laughed and his mother stood up. "I'm going to give you two some privacy," she said. "I'm going to the cafeteria, then I'm going to check my messages and then I'll be back."
"Okay," Nick responded with utter disinterest laced in his tone. She got up and left and then he looked at me and made a face. "That woman is working my last nerve. She tried to feed me like I was a fucking baby." I laughed at him as he demonstrated with his spoon. He sat his spoon down. "I'm not use to seeing her every time I open my eyes. It's driving me crazy."
"You should be happy she cares."
"I am. I just wish she didn't care so much sometimes. Ever since my father died, she looks at me like I'm all she has left in this world and I'm afraid it's going to kill her when I go to New York."
"You're going to New York?"
"Yep, when you guys go off to college I'm going to pack up and move to New York to become a famous rock star or pop idol or whatever some producer or manager wants to mold me in to. As long as I get to perform, I'll be happy."
"You're leaving Kyle? Does he know?"
"Of course he knows. It has never been a question about
whether I'm going to New York, our only issue has been when.
I was going to go after I went to college, but I don't feel
like going through four more years of trying to be a social
person and caring what every one thinks. I'm sick of it and
I'm sick of school. I just want to go somewhere and start
over."
"Kyle's going to be devastated."
"No he won't."
"How can you say that? He's going to miss you so much."
"Can we not talk about this anymore?" he asked. "You're starting to make me feel bad and I need to be in a good mood when the doctor comes back to check on me."
"I'm sorry, it's just hard picturing the two of you separated."
"We're all going to be separated anyway when we go to college and it's not like we're losing each other. He'll always be my best friend and no amount of distance can change that."
I wanted to believe him, but my experience with distance was that it made it easier to live separate lives and lose touch with each other to the point where you rarely talked, if ever. "I hope you're right," I told him.
"I am. I always am." He started laughing and I laughed with him.
"What's so funny?" Kyle asked as he walked through the door.
"He was telling me how you whimpered like a girl when he gave you a blowjob this morning," Nick said.
"You told him about that?" Kyle asked.
"No, but you just did," Nick told him. Kyle flipped
him the bird and went and sat in the seat formerly occupied
by his mother. "So where's your mother?"
"She went to meet your mother at the cafeteria."
"Oh good, maybe she can keep her there for a long time."
"Sick of her already?" Kyle asked.
"Yes. It's awful."
Kyle chuckled and then we found something on tv to watch. The show was almost over when Kyle blurted out, "We're supposed to go to hockey practice tonight."
"Huh?"
"My mother ran in to Coach at school and he wants us there, same as usual."
"That's good to hear because I need to clear my head."
"There's more," Kyle said with his smile shrinking away
to nothing.
"What?"
"She said I have to go back to school tomorrow."
"Didn't she basically say that before you went out
there?" "Yes, but she didn't explain that I had to go
by myself. I don't want to go without you."
"We can meet at school. It's no"
His phone started ringing, "Shit! I forgot to cut it off," he said as he reached in his pocket and turned it off.
Nick hit Kyle, "Thanks for trying to kill me, asshole." Kyle glared at Nick and then they laughed.
"I'll check my messages later," Kyle said. "I hope that was John."
I remembered turning my phone off while I sat on Kyle's porch and waited for him. I took out my phone and turned it on. "What are you doing?" Nick shouted.
"I just want to see who called real quick."
"You're supposed to do that outside. What if I start flatlining?" I looked up at him and at first his face had a really serious expression on it but he couldn't maintain it and soon he was giving me a cheesy grin.
"For a moment there I thought you were serious." I started looking at who called. I saw Drew's name and I stood up. "I'll be back." I told them.
I'm not sure why I was panicking, but I felt like I had
to call Drew right away. I pushed the call button as I was
walking out the entrance. I exhaled the breath I was
holding, the second I heard his voice.
"Hello."
"Hey Drew. Are you okay?"
"Not really."
"Did you father hit you again?"
"No, he just reminded me that I was a failure and I
was going to hell sooner or later, I'm hoping for sooner."
"What?"
He let out a fake laugh and said, "Just joking." He sighed, "I had a rough night. I didn't sleep well."
I felt guilty for having slept like a baby, but it
was because of Kyle. I was sure if I had been at home, I wouldn't have slept well either. "Have you talked to John?"
"Yes. I talked to him last night and he told me his father was going to fix the whole school mess this morning. He didn't sound too good though. I think his father had gotten to him."
"I'm going to check on him later."
"You should."
There was a pause. "So you didn't feel like
going to school today, huh?"
"I'm never going to school again."
"What?"
"Um, I mean I don't know when I'm going back."
"Oh, well Kyle's mother is making him go back tomorrow so I guess I'll be going back with him." I thought I heard him sniffling. "Are you crying?"
"No," his voice cracked and I knew he was lying.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing, I'm fine."
"Don't lie to me. I know something's wrong. I can hear it in your voice."
"Tell Nick I'm sorry."
"For what?"
"They wouldn't have messed with him if it wasn't for
me. It's my fault."
"Is that what you're freaking out about? It's not
your fault."
"Yes it is, but thanks for saying it's not. You
were always a good friend to me."
"What do you mean were? Are you going
somewhere?"
"Haha, that's not what I meant."
"Then what did you mean?"
"I don't know. I'm just talking."
He sounded depressed and confused and in desperate need of a friend. "Look, I'm on my way over."
"No! Don't come here. My father will flip out if someone sees you. Just stay where you are and I'll talk to you later."
"Fine I'll come get you and you can go home with
me that way it won't matter who sees us."
"No, I need to stay here. They need to look at me."
"Why?"
"So they can see what they've done to me."
That didn't sound right to me. "Drew! I'm coming
over."
"No! Don't! Please! Just leave me alone!"
"Drew!"
"Pat! Trust me. Drop it. Don't worry about me. I'm going to be fine. Okay?"
"No, it's not okay."
"Promise you won't come."
My heart ached as I heard him begging me not to come over and my mind told me I should ignore his pleas. "I can't make that promise. Why would you want me to?"
"Because I don't want you to come here and see me
like this!"
For a second I thought I understood. "Your father did
hit you again, didn't he?"
"That's not it."
"Then what is it because you're scaring me."
"I can't tell you, just promise you won't come to see
me until tomorrow."
I was afraid that I was stressing him out, so I
caved. "Okay, I promise, but I'll be at your doorstep first thing tomorrow morning before I go to school."
"Fair enough," he said. "Well I have to go. There are a few other people I would like to call. Tell Chris I said hello and um, take care, okay?"
"Yeah sure."
"Thanks for calling me back. I really wanted to hear
your voice."
"You're" he hung up the phone before I could finish. I felt queasy. Something wasn't right and I knew it in my gut. I turned off my phone and walked back in the hospital. Nick and Kyle were in the room laughing about something, probably something stupid knowing them.
"Is everything okay?" Kyle asked when he looked up
and noticed me standing there.
"Yeah."
"You sure everything's alright? You look like you might need this bed more than me." Nick told me.
"It's just some things Drew said rubbed me the wrong
way. I'm really worried about him."
"Go check on him," Kyle said.
"I can't."
"Why not? Nick doesn't need you here and I guess I
can manage a few hours without you, so"
"It's not that. I promised Drew that I wouldn't check on him until tomorrow."
"I'm sure he won't mind if you check on him today. Just go and I'll see you when you get back."
The truth was that I was kicking myself for not going, so I didn't need much motivation to leave. "Yeah, you're right. I got this really weird vibe from him while we were talking and I'm not going to feel better until I see him for myself. I should go. I can apologize for breaking my promise when I see him." I sighed. "Alright guys I'll be back later."
I turned around and walked back out of the room. I
wasn't sure why I was in a hurry, but I felt a sense of urgency as I left. I was in my car and speeding towards Drew's house as different scenarios flew through my head. I came to a screeching halt in front of his house and that's when the fear set in. I was afraid to go in, so I decided to call him. I took out my cell and dialed his number. No one answered. I told myself not to panic because he was probably in the bathroom. I checked my voicemail and listened to a message from John.
"Hey, this is John. I just got off the phone with Drew and he sounded strange. He said something about talking to you and just calling me to hear my voice and then he told me I was the best friend he could ask for and he hung up. I called the hospital and Nick said you had already left. I'm on my way to Drew's house now, but I thought you might be closer, so I would appreciate it if you hurry and check on him. I should be there soon."
John sounded frantic in his message and I immediately
got out of my car. I walked to the door and knocked on it. No one answered. I used my phone and called Drew again, but he didn't answer. I walked around to the back door which was usually unlocked during the day and I opened it. The cold air rushed past me as it tried to escape the house. My feet seemed heavier with each step I took, like I somehow knew that whatever I was going to find was something I didn't want.
"Drew!" I shouted. "Where are you?" No answer. I went to his bedroom but there was nobody there. "Drew!" I called out as I ran around his house trying to find him. I was about to give up when I thought of one last room to check. I walked towards his parents' room and noticed that the door was shut. I knocked, but I received no response. I took a deep breath as I turned the knob and opened the door. The first thing I saw was Drew.
Lustyville 2006 Please send comments to lustyville@yahoo.com and check out my yahoo group at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/lustyville.