Chapter Twelve- "The Old Flame Never Dies"
JESSIE'S POINT OF VIEW
It was Wednesday at last. Tryout day for Josh and his aspirations of being on the football team. It was easy to see why he would want to. It would put him on the peak of popularity and make him a total chick magnet. Well, I supposed it was about time. Josh never seemed to be into dating before. I guess it's about time he grew up. When I walked into school that day, it was with an uncharacteristic grin. The same grin I wore the day before, but wider now. On Monday, when my parents found out I was gay and still loved me even though I was gay, I couldn't help but feel this way. Yesterday's dinner with them, in which they'd basically given me the okay to continue "seeing" Brad, only amplified the feeling. Hence, the wider grin.
When I got to school, Josh and Stacy were already there. Josh looked happy enough. But Stacy was a different matter. She looked like she had been losing sleep over something. I just don't get her. Her grades are PERFECT and yet she still pushes herself into oblivion. Too much of a perfectionist. Whenever she's all messed up like this, and I ask the reason why, it's always invariably,
Stacy: "I got to keep my grades up. It's the only way I'm gonna get into a prestigious college......"
Josh saw me and waved me over. I waved back and jogged up to them. He was staring at me rather oddly, then he vocalized his concern.
Josh: "Why do you look like you just about wanna burst?"
"What do you mean?", I asked, not really listening. I was in such a haze. Looking back on it, I wouldn't be surprised if they thought I was high on something.
Josh: "I just can't remember when last I saw you THIS happy is all...so out with it."
"Oh, it's nothing in particular, can't a guy smile without being put under interrogation?"
Josh: "Hehehe, yeah, I guess he can. Yo Stacy, can't you at least call out to your boy?"
Stacy hadn't said a word to me in all this time. She looked at me and boy! Was the look on her face a serious one.
Stacy: "Jessie, we got a few minutes before the bell for first period. Can I talk to you for a sec?"
She took my hand and began pulling me into an empty corridor. Josh came running up. Stacy and Josh seemed to be sharing some sort of communication, from the way they were looking at each other, I was certain that was the case. Josh was jovial before, but he seemed nervous about something and there was this...pleading expression on his face when he looked at Stacy. I never saw anything like it before.
"Uh-Josh is everything all right?"
He quickly changed his facial expression, into one that could pass for normal. Would have fooled me too if I was a few sticks short of a bundle.
Josh: "Yeah man. Just-uh-a little nervous about the tryouts."
"Well, you'll do fine. I don't know much about football, but I know you. When you want something, I know that you don't let anything get in your way, just go out there and show the coach that."
Josh: "You're right. You...and Stacy-(His gaze shifted towards Stacy again.)-are still gonna be there, right? You aren't going to start ditching me again are you?"
"Hell yeah, I mean, no. I'll be there, you too right Stace?"
Stacy: "Yup, you can count on me guys. Now Josh, I wanna talk to Jessie-alone, do you mind?"
They started that crazy eye talk again, thankfully I was spared the long duration this time. Josh left us alone in the corridor. I was glad for it. I was going to have to try and snap our girl back to the fun-loving, talkative (mildly annoying) girl that she was.
"Stacy, why do you look like you haven't had a wink of sleep last night?"
Stacy: "Because I didn't get a wink of sleep last night."
"You studying on an all night session again? You gotta stop this Stace. Do you want to get a nervous breakdown?"
Stacy: "It wasn't that. I was awake all night thinking about you."
"Awww...but you know I'm taken Stace. Heheh. Hey tell, you what, why don't you go after Josh, by this time tomorrow, he'll be a footballer and you won't have much time before the cheerleaders lap him up. You better act quick."
Her demeanor changed abruptly and she looked a bit upset about something. What? I didn't know, but I was going to find out.
Stacy: "Jessie, can you wipe that grin off of your face and be serious? I want to talk to you about something."
"So, talk."
Stacy: "Well, it's just this. Jessie, your parents know about you, right?"
"Well, yeah."
Stacy: "And I know, and Brad, obviously knows..."
"Can you just spit it out, and stop stating the obvious?"
Stacy: "Okay I will, I want you to tell Josh that you're-"
"What!! Are you crazy? I'm not gonna tell him that. He's gonna be on the macho, macho Jock Squad soon too. And what if he-"
Stacy: "He won't freak, he's your friend."
"How do you know he won't freak. Wait...you didn't tell him did you, or hint to him to feel him out?"
My happy go lucky disposition was fast disintegrating. I was starting to feel queasy too.
Stacy: "No, I didn't even try to feel him out, it wouldn't be right and you made me promise not to tell ANYone, remember?"
"So why are you trying to get me to tell him now. You never have before and you were always covering for me."
Stacy: "Uh-well...it's like this....um. Okay, everyone who means anything to you, well, maybe not everyone, but the most important people in your life, know. Your parents, Brad, me...everyone but Josh. Don't you think you should tell him. You know he's been nothing but a great friend to you all along. Why do you think he'd change now?"
"You're right, that he's been a great friend all along Stace, and that's why I want things to stay that way. And people change Stace. The other day, would you have thought that Josh would blow up on me like he had, just because I couldn't go to Joe's? THAT wasn't the Josh we know. He cussed me up too. He changed. And that was just because I was standing you two up. What do you think he'll do about...this?"
Stacy: "It won't be like that. You know that he was upset that you made us wait over at Joe's for four hours, didn't call. He was willing to forget about it, he only brought it up when you tried to ditch us again."
"I made up for it though, I went with you guys on Saturday. But if I tell him this, and he decides to bitch about it, there nothing I'll be able to do to make things right again."
Stacy: "Jess, look, I know I can't make you do anything-"
"Damn right you can't."
Stacy: "But just give it some thought, okay. That's all I'm asking. Trust him a little, he's your friend, I think he deserves as much."
I told her that I would, think about it. I was true to my word too. I would think about it. And it would stay in the realm of thought too, unless something drastic happened to prove to me that deep down, Josh wasn't a homophobic jerk. But I supposed she was right. I'd known Brad for a LOT less time than I'd known Josh and I'd trusted him and told him I was gay. And I didn't have to. I could have turned it around on him and said that he was the one who had kissed me. I'd hold on to the idea, and if Josh proved to be able to handle it, then I would tell him. Stacy was right. He was the next most important person in the world to me and I shouldn't be keeping these deep, dark secrets from him, especially as I'd decided to share them with the other important people in my life.
Just then the bell rang, signaling the start of the first period. Stacy had Biology and Josh and I had a Chemistry lab we had to get to. I was not feeling the total happiness I felt coming to school this morning, thanks to Stacy. We went back down the corridor, back to Josh. I couldn't look him straight in the face, we had been talking about him just now after all. He began looking at Stacy again, but this time with an accusatory expression on his face. I saw Stacy shake her head vehemently, No no. What the hell was going on here?
"Guys, why are you two acting like an old married couple?"
Josh: "W-What!"
"You two are staring at each other, with some sort of top secret communication passing between you two. If you've got something to say, say it. If it's personal, then say it together privately, but cut this out, it's freaky."
Stacy: "Tell it to Josh."
And she was off to her Biology class. Judging from the look that she tossed me, I knew she meant it in more than one way. I looked back to Josh to see if he suspected anything. It didn't seem so. He wasn't even looking, He was watching Stacy, he watched her walk all the way down the hallway, until she was out of sight. It was then that I had an inkling. An old married couple huh? Lol. Could that be it. I wondered if something was going on between them. It seemed as clear as day. My mind was busy chrning out possibilities.
I remebered when I'd went with Stacy to get Josh on Saturday, to go to Joe's. Josh's dad had said something about me not rusting him around MT GIRL. Of course nothing was going on between me and Stacy, but that didn't mean that Josh wasn't trying to score with her. I wonder if he had confided in his dad and that comment was more than a Joke. And the fact that he was not totally willing to leave me and Stacy alone was way too suspicious. It was slightly annoying, what did he think I was? And that Eye talk...hmmm...And Stacy's behavior. Was she so adamant that I tell Josh because she was afriad and /or unwilling to keep secrets from him and their alleged "relationship"? I'd have to talk to her about that. I was pondering these thoughts too long.
Josh: "Jess, you coming to class. You know that Hariss will bitch about us being late."
"Uh, yeah, I'm coming."
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Hariss: "Okay class, today we'll be doing a basic acid / base titration. You'll have to find the concentration of this Sodium Hydroxide solution. It's going to count for your overall grade, so be warned. I'll be in the next room, sorting things out for the next practical class, so don't get any ideas."
With that, Mr. Hariss left us. He was a cool enough teacher. Once we didn't wreck the place, make too much noise and got the work done, we got to do whatever in his class. As usual me and Josh decided to work together. I was good at this stuff, but Josh couldn't titrate right if his life depended on it. Any how, he was better at the theory than I was, so it was a good partnership. He'd help me with the theory and I'd help him cope with the practical. Yup, a partnership made in hea-well the Chemistry lab. Since things were slow in the lab-as always, it was a simple lab after all-I thought I'd broach my concerns to him.
"Josh?"
Josh: "Yeah?"
"Somethin' you wanna share with me?"
Josh: "Oh! The Hydroxide, here, sorry."
I rolled my eyes.
"No, not that. I mean, is there anything you wanna talk to me about? Anything new in your life, you want to tell me about?"
He jumped. I really didn't expect it. He looked shocked and when he jumped he dropped the beaker of acid. It fell to the floor, with a crash. Some of the other students looked up, but that was it, they went back to work. Josh stoped down and started picking up the glass with his bare hands. Stupid thing to have done, I was right. He cut himself, and the acid got into the wound.
Josh: "Fuck!"
And all he was doing was watching the wound and doing nothing. What on Earth could have freaked him out like that? I grabbed his hand and put it under the lab faucet, and started laving it with water. I made a preliminary inspection. All Josh was doing was just standing there.
"You know, if you'd wash your hands I wouldn't have to."
He started washing it on his own and I relinquished my hold on his hand. The cut wasn't deep.
"It's not a bad wound and you're lucky that we don't use the concentrated acid in these tirations, then it'd really sting."
Josh: "Yeah."
"So, uh-why'd you freak out on me like that?"
Josh: "I didn't freak out on you."
"So you jumping like I'd lit a fire under you, and cutting yourself in the process, wasn't a little strange to you?"
Josh: "It's just these tryouts, I'm on edge, that's all."
He obviously was hiding something. I was sure, but I'd have to wait until he tipped his hand and let something slip. The next few minutes were spent in an uneasy slience. I wasn't the one who broke it.
Josh: "So, uh-what did Stacy want to talk to you about this morning?"
Stacy?! I knew that was it. Had to be. I started to laugh, this was seriously amusing. And he was acting like a lovesick tee- right. How sterotypical, cute though. Lol.
"Josh, you know you don't have to worry about anything going on between me and Stace, right? We're just friends, got it. I wouldn't try to steal your girl."
Josh: "What are talki-"
Isn't it obvious? I explained everything to him, my assumptions were confirmed now, that was for sure, after all this weird behavior from him. He looked at me like I was talking gibberish. But I knew better, he was playing dumb.
Josh: "But nothin's going on between us."
"If you say so. I suppose when you want to admit it you will. Just don't want you to think that I'm a security risk okay."
He watched me with an unreadable look. We didn't get to discuss it further. We were running out of time and we still had two more repeat titrations to do, AND the calculations. This would all be going towards our final grade too. We went back to work...
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BRAD'S POINT OF VIEW
I was walking on air. Everything seemed to be right in my life now. I mean, Jessie's parents knew about us, weren't pissed, and actually were glad in a way. Jessie and I were together, and now we didn't have to hide it from his 'rents, we could be out in the open, at least over at his house. Sure, I wished I could have told my parents and gotten that kind of acceptance, but hey, You gotta Play the Cards You're Dealt. And the fact that (To the Outside World) Jessie was Forbidden Fruit, was such a turn on. Even Jessie's best friend Josh, seemed to be coming around. Speaking of best friends, I saw mines standing around in the corridor, no doubt cutting class, Again. I had a free now anyway, so I made my way over to them.
"Hey guys, cutting class again. Aren't you afraid you'll get suspended?"
Chad: "That'd be a plus. Lol."
Devon: "Besides as long as Coach Jefferson and the Principal keep their little fling up, I don't think we'll be in any trouble."
Our Principal was a woman. Mrs. Elizabeth Paige. She was married, but Chad, Jon and Devon seemed convinced that she and Coach Jefferson were fucking and that we (as we were on the team) wouldn't get in trouble because of it. Where that rumor got started, I'll never know, but I'll say this, we never got into much trouble before. Sure I got suspended once, for beating up some son of a bitch who had it coming to him, but I could have gotten into much more trouble for that. Anyhow, the thought of two old people getting it on wasn't too appealing so I was glad when they changed the subject.
We caught up on stuff, usual guy stuff. Who was gonna get laid, who wasn't, when trouble came walking down the hallway, all wrapped up in a pretty package. Jessica Warden. Aka, Hotstuff. The rest of the guys stopped their talking and took in the sight. And boy, did she know how to put on a show. She had this way of walking. Most girls try it. You know the walk, hips and all. A few can actually pull it off, looking seductive as if they weren't even trying, and Jessica Warden was one of them. I know Jon, Chad and Devon appreciated it. I didn't. For one simple reason, Jessica Warden was my ex. I couldn't even pretend that I was the one who broke it off with her, she was the one that dumped me. Over some fight that I'd had. I bet she just loved the Drama. She's one of those girls who like to think that she's living a Soap Opera.
I wished she would just walk on by, but it was obvious, that was not what she had in mind. She was heading over here on a mission. Chad winked at me and I got what he was trying to say. But there was no way I'd ever go for her again. She left me high and dry, luckily, I found someone a whole lot better. I smiled at the thought of Jessie, wrong thing to do.
Jessica: "Well, I see you're glad to see me, huh Brad?"
"What do you want?"
Jessica: "Well, I wanna talk to you, alone for a little while."
I looked over at the guys and they got up and said they'd meet me in the cafeteria. I got a few pats on the back in the process. Sorry to disappoint them. I figured I might as well get this over with as fast as possible.
"So talk already, I don't have all day. What do you want?"
Jessica: "I want you. I want you back."
"What? You honestly want me back?"
Jessica: "That's what I said. We used to be good for each other."
"USED to be. And we were only good for each other in your twisted head. You were the one who dumped me, remember?"
Jessica: "Which is why I'm asking you to forgive and come back to me. I don't know what I was thinking. And I'm willing to throw in lots of hot make up sex if you can find it in your heart to forgive me."
She started some ridiculous pouting. She left me, and now she wants me back? I remebered my time with her. It was fun at first, real fun. But eventually, her negative identity traits made themselves known. Everything became about her, her, her. Never about me or what I wanted. Whenever we went out, it was always where she wanted to go. She never shied away in the sex department, that was true, but it would always be on her terms, not mine. Whenever I was with her sexually, I always got the feeling that I was nothing more than a sexual outlet for her. Her little obedient Boy Toy. She has this idea, that she can manipulate any person to do her bidding. And she's right about that, she can manipulate any one of those Little Boys, but not me. I told her that too. It made her upset. Good.
"Why are you so mad Jessica? Is it because for once, I'm the one in control of my own lovelife. I don't want any more of your nagging."
Jessica: "What is up with you? Do you know who you're talking to here? Do you know what you're throwing away?"
"Actually, I've been thinking about that. The Great Jessica Warden herself, comes waltzing down the hallway, to extend her helping hands to her ex boyfriend...you don't fool me. You didn't come here to patch things up for my sake. What's the matter, can't find any more weak willed, horny boys to do your bidding? You know what I think? I think you came back here to beg me to come back to you."
She looked thoroughly scandalized. Same old Jessica. Or...was she? She really surprised me when she admitted it.
Jessica: "Okay, okay. I'll admit it. I really didn't want to break up with you, but you were getting so out of control..."
"I beat one fool up, get suspended and the next thing I'm single? To tell you the truth, the way things were going between us, if you hadn't broken it off, I would have. It was always about you, wasn't it? All you care about is yourself."
Jessica: "You know that's not true. I ca-I love you Brad. Just give me one more chance, that's all I'm asking, I'll try harder this time. It's just that when you were, well, the way you were, it was startting to get hard to get along with you, you know. But I knew if I left for a while you'd change. And you see you did, you're all the better for it. You have changed for the better, see we belong together baby."
Unbelievable! Was she this Vain. I mean, yeah, I've changed, I'm still no softie, but it wasn't her that changed me. How could she change me? She wasn't even there for God's sake.
"I might have changed, but you weren't the one who's responsible for that. You weren't even here."
Jessica: "So did someone else take my place? Did you change because of someone else?"
"I don't have to tell you or anyone else, anything."
Jessica: "Just who is she Brad?"
I really wished I hadn't brought it up. Anyhow, there wasn't anything she could do. I didn't say anything, she'd just have to go on and get some other guy to be her slave. I left her in the hallway. I looked back once. She was crying. She thought she could toy with my feelings, go on Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder, and try and change me. What is it with girls and their always trying to change a guy? I knew that wives always try it, but we were nothing more than...hell fuck buddies. Let her cry, she's so melodramatic and shallow, it's just got to be fake anyway. She'll probably go after one of the other guys soon enough. Besides, I had my own little guy to take care of.
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Jessica Warden knew that she had the skills to pay the bills. She was perfectly content with the way her life had been going so far. She had the looks, the money and the know how to have the men falling after her. She could have had any boy in the school. Well, any straight boy. So confident was she with her abilities, that she had developed a sixth sense. If she met a guy who didn't show any interest in her, she was sure he was Gay. If he didn't want to admit it to himself or to his buddies, what of it? There were plenty of other sheep to be sheared. Her latest conquest was the ultra hot Brad Summers, she had her eyes on him from day one. She was what the good girls would call a Slut, a Whore, a Bitch, but what did she care? All that mattered was what their boyfriends thought of her.
Of all her Boy Toys, Brad was undoubtedly her favorite. She didn't like to admit that any man had this much control over her, but she knew it was true. She didn't just lust after Brad, she loved him too. But he was getting to be too much of a badass punk. So she decided to temporarily leave him until he got his act together. And Brad had done just that. Or so she'd hoped. What she didn't count on was the possibility, however miniscule, that he might not want her back. That was what threw her. After the incident in the hall, she went into the Girls' Bathroom, to have what her sex calls, A Good Long Cry.
She looked at herself in the mirror. She had perfect skin, a tight body, beyond reproach. Hell, she had the body that celebrities spent their fortunes on to TRY and imitate. Why was she so unappealing to Brad all of a sudden? Had she really pushed him over the edge, was she too nagging and controlling? She resolved then and there, she was going to get her guy back. If she had to change every old habit that Brad found nagging, she would do it. She knew that Brad had a football session that evening. She'd be there. She was never too fond of it before. The Games and the Practice Sessions took him away too often for her liking, but she would be supportive. Maybe if Brad saw how much she was willing to change he'd give her another shot. But one thing was for sure, come Hell or High Water, she was going to get him back. Why? Because she was Jessica Warden, and she always gets what she wants.