Say Goodbye to Sparkleland

Say Goodbye to Sparkleland Chapter 4

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4

It had been a week since my first session with Logan. I was very nervous — and skeptical — when I came in for the first visit, but it went okay. I guessed. I felt it weird that he thought going through my black book would get us anywhere with me not getting over Cooper, but I trusted Logan. I wouldn't have chosen my old college friend to be my therapist otherwise.

A stranger would have been odd to talk to about things, particularly sexual things. But Logan and I had spoken openly since our college days. It was just sort of strange thinking of him in a "doctor-like" capacity.

The receptionist was quite friendly. She said it would only be a few moments. Not in a derogatory way, but I felt she had landed a fairly cushy job. Being a receptionist for three counselors couldn't be that challenging. Scheduling, greeting patients, tending to doctors' requests sounded simple enough. I wasn't sure if she was in charge of the bookkeeping or not. It seemed like a low-stress job, but did I really know?

I noticed her glance at her personal cell phone. That answered my question a little. I figured she wasn't overworked, but good for her. I'd love for my job to be less stressful.

But part of my stress was knowing Cooper was two floors above me. It was a daily struggle to know he was up there — and he wasn't "mine." If I couldn't get over him, the only other serious option was to look for a transfer. I wasn't crazy about the idea of moving, but could I really be in the same building as Cooper for ... who knows. Years? It couldn't be healthy to have a broken heart every day.

"Dr. Horwood will see you now," the receptionist told me. She gestured toward Logan's door.

I didn't think I was supposed to knock, so I just slowly opened the door.

"Hey," I said.

"Have a seat, Mitchell," he said.

I took the chair, which I found comfortable enough last week, but I noticed a couch. Was that a requirement of all therapists?

"Do your clients ever use the couch?"

"Patients. Yes, sometimes."

"Do you have a preference where ... patients ... sit?"

"Not really. I just like them to be comfortable."

I got hung up on the word patient. I didn't like it. It made me feel sick. Was I sick? Was I broken?

"Mitchell?"

"Hm? Oh, sorry. I was just thinking of me being a patient. Does that mean I'm sick?"

"Not necessarily. You see your doctor when you have concerns physically. These are just mental concerns. Your well-being is a top priority. You don't always take your car in when something's wrong. You take them in for tune-ups and routine maintenance."

"That was worded very specifically."

"I just want you to know that talking things out is a good thing. It's healthy."

"I see."

"How do you feel after our session last week?"

"Good, I suppose. I'm not sure why we are focusing so much on the past, but ... I just felt good talking. I do hope we can get around to helping me get over Cooper. I'm afraid if I don't, I'll talk myself into transferring to another city."

"That's a bit extreme over a broken love, but ..."

"But we work in the same building."

"True."

"How do you feel about our session last week?" I asked my college friend.

"Me? I think it went well. I've known you for years but hearing about your initial experiences lets me know more about you."

"But does it help with my situation with Cooper?"

"Quite possibly. I'm feeling there is something for us to unearth that will help."

"If you say so."

"Where did we leave off?"

I sighed. "Number four. Vaughan Peterson. Six foot. Brown hair, brown eyes. Nice muscles. Six inches hard. A little over four inches soft. Trimmed bush. Low-hanging balls. Came quickly. Thick cum."

I looked at Logan. Most people would have some type of reaction to hearing such words read. He hardly blinked.

I added, "First fuck."

That made him lift an eyebrow.

"Tell me about Vaughan."

"Since things weren't ideal with how Preston reacted, I didn't pursue anyone for a while. Obviously, the gay pond isn't as big as the straight pond."

"Was it a lack of `casting your net' or were you avoiding it?"

"I wasn't put off by Preston's rejection. I felt comfortable with who I was. But I did get a bit uneasy about who others might not be."

"Explain."

"Well, Preston was completely into us ... getting it on. But then he turned into someone else. I wondered how many people were like that. I guess I was okay not dating for a while. But then, after a few months, I ... I knew it was time."

"How did you know?"

"My dick wanted sex."

"How scientific."

"Vaughan joined the LGBT group at the beginning of the year, following the winter break. We saw each other from afar. After a few weeks, we started talking. Then we started meeting for dinner in the caf'. After a week or two of that, we started dating."

"Did you date for a while?"

"We did. For two or three weeks, it was nice. Kissing. Oral sex. It was good. It wasn't off-the-charts sex, but it was ... well, sex. It was difficult to find private places with roommates and all. We'd find a time to sneak in blowjobs, but with roommates, there was no overnight stuff."

"It can be kind of a strain to not have one's own place."

"But there was something that really impressed me."

"Fucking?"

"No! Jesus, Logan."

"Sorry. My mistake. I jumped to a conclusion."

"I will get to that, but Vaughan impressed me that he wanted to take me home."

"Oh. That happens sometimes on college campuses."

"Right. But he wanted to introduce me as his boyfriend to his parents."

"I see."

"When you're nineteen, that's kind of a big deal."

"I would agree."

"We agreed to split spring break. Four days at his home and four days at my parents' house."

"You didn't say `your' house."

"Does it matter?"

"Maybe. Did your parents' house not feel like home to you?"

His question stumped me. I had been in that house since I was four years old. At the time, it was the only `home' I could remember. I was sure at the time it felt like home. I wasn't quite sure why I phrased it that way to Logan.

"I – I guess it did, at least at that time. Now, it doesn't."

"Tell me why."

"After graduation, getting my own apartment ... that became home to me. Now when I think of the house I grew up in, it is `Mom and Dad's' but not my home."

"You felt welcome though, right?"

"Oh, for sure. They were happy that I was bringing a friend home."

"Friend or boyfriend?"

"Both. I told them we had been seeing each other."

"And you sharing a bed wasn't an issue."

"My parents are pretty liberal. You've met them."

Logan nodded and smiled. He scribbled a few more things down on the infuriating notepad.

"And how did spring break go?"

"And here is my bedroom," Vaughan said, concluding the tour. "It will finally be nice to have a big bed in a room just to ourselves," he said, just before kissing me. "We can have space to really get our game on."

"What? You'd do it with me here while your parents are home?"

"You're not loud."

I rolled my eyes. He was right about that. Hearing my parents a couple years previously still had its effect on me. However, doing anything sexual in the same house where one's parents were seemed ... risky. Scary. Unwise. Practically out of the question.

Regardless of those thoughts, after an evening with his parents, Vaughan and I turned in. He stripped completely naked before slipping into the sheets. I left my briefs on.

"You don't need those. We're all alone."

"What if they walked in?"

"They won't. They never do that. I think my older sister screamed at them for a week when she was fifteen when they walked into her room. I'm not sure what all took place, but I could hear it. They never go into our rooms at all. Ever. When we are in them, I mean."

"How old is your sister now?"

"Twenty-four. Lives in St. Louis. Got a job as an assistant store manager. Not a bad gig. Not amazing money, but with a roommate, she has a nice apartment."

"I see."

"I've told her about you."

"You have??"

"I like you, Mitchell. I like talking about us."

Us. I'd never thought of me being a part of an us. I didn't think either of us had even used the word boyfriend with each other. It was weird how that two-letter word made me feel warm and confused and happy and scared and uncertain.

The light turned out and the two of us were plunged into extreme darkness. There was virtually no light coming in through the blinds. It was a very dark room.

I felt a hand turning my face. Vaughan's lips found mine. We kissed for a couple of minutes. Then his hand took mine and moved it to where my fingers touched his cock. His hard cock.

I felt it and gave it a few gentle strokes.

"We're really not going to do anything with your parents here, are we?" I whispered.

He kissed me again. "I have to assume they think we are. Wouldn't you assume two horny college guys in the same bed were getting each other off?"

I didn't like the thought of anyone's parents thinking of me in a sexual way. When we got to my home later in spring break, would my parents assume anything sexual was going on? That totally weirded me out. It would seem obvious, but I hadn't thought about it before I told them I was bringing Vaughan. If they thought we were having sex, did it make sense to not have sex? I never thought of sex as being complicated. Until that very moment.

I remembered hearing my parents again. It was enough to make my hard-on begin to deflate.

I sat up.

"I don't know, Vaughan."

"What's wrong?"

"I – I – I feel weird with them down the hall."

He put my hand on his raging boner again. "There's one way we can be sure to be quiet."

"Oh?"

"If both of us have something in our mouths."

Vaughan leaned up, and I felt his fingers grip my underwear. I lifted my butt off the mattress, and he pulled my briefs down my legs. My eyes must have adjusted to the darkness ever so slightly because I could see his silhouette bring my underwear to his face. I heard him inhale. When you are horny, that seemed kind of hot. When you weren't horny, it seemed like a bunch of unsanitary germs shoved in your face. At that moment, it was hot.

I got horny quickly.

We both folded the covers down. My feet and shins were still underneath. We took a minute to kiss some more. The longer we did, the harder my dick became. He felt my chest. I ran my fingers through the hair that was on his. I touched his nipple and my cock lurched. I could cut steak with it at that point.

Vaughan broke away from our kiss and maneuvered his body 180 degrees. Touching and feeling our way, we eventually found our faces at the other guy's crotch. My nose bumped into his erection. I took a hand to guide it into my mouth. I felt my own rod being swallowed at the same time. The 69 position kept us both engaged — and quiet.

The slow sucking soon combined with groping, which made it even more arousing. I loved cupping his ass as his dick fucked my throat. Vaughan's fingernails lightly scratched my back as his face bobbed on my cock as best it could while pressed to the bed. Then he ran his fingers through my hair as I sucked his flesh. For some reason, that sent me over the edge. I wanted to tell him I was about to come, but I had a mouth full of dick.

I lightly grunted and squirmed to let him know I was about to come. He understood and gripped my ass tight, forcing me to stay in his mouth. I hummed into his penis as my own erection unloaded my cum into his throat. My moans were slight, but I still feared his parents could hear me, as if the room were bugged.

I had finished coming, but Vaughan didn't release my cock. His tongue played with it. Flicking like a snake's, it stimulated the head of my organ as if trying to dab any last drop of cum that might ooze out.

I was surprised that I came first. Vaughan had been the one who came the fastest in the past. It only took a few minutes for him to reach orgasm usually.

He pulled his mouth off. "Keep sucking me," he whispered. "I'll let you know when I'm gonna come."

True to his word, three minutes later, he panted, "I'm close."

I took my mouth off and started jerking his stiff flesh with gusto. I didn't feel like swallowing, but I let my tongue lick the underside of his mushroom head.

"Oh, fuck yeah," he breathed.

The first blast still managed to hit my chin. I pulled away and continued to stroke him vigorously. His hips squirmed and writhed in total ecstasy below me.

"Mitchellllllll," he moaned. I was scared it could be heard, but I knew deep down it wasn't that loud.

"We had a good time. I felt weird about doing anything at his parents' house. They were there, but he wanted to."

"And did you?"

"Oh yeah." I could still recall it vividly. "At first it was oral, but then he wanted to take it further."

Dinner Saturday night was delicious. I thanked Mrs. Peterson for the great meal.

A surprise cold front dropped the temperatures down into the upper 40s. Mr. Peterson built a fire because of the chill. We all agreed it felt nice. The four of us played a game of cards following dinner. As the time moved later into the night, his parents opened a bottle of wine.

"Mitchell, since Vaughan graduated high school, we share wine with him as long as he stays home and doesn't drive. Would you like a glass too? It's fine if you don't."

I had tried a few beers, but since I couldn't legally buy alcohol, I didn't pursue it. I wasn't as captivated with drinking as much as many of my dormmates were.

"I guess. Sure."

It was my first taste of wine. I didn't particularly care for it. I thought it would be sweet. They told me it was Cabernet. It wasn't sweet. I sipped on it every now and then.

As much as the wine was not doing it for me, the fire was. I sat on the floor in front of the couch to be on the level of it. Vaughan picked up his glass and sat next to me. He put his arm around me. I took a sip. About halfway through the glass of wine, I realized I didn't dislike it as much as when I started. What I liked the most was Vaughan expressing affection in front of his parents. I leaned into his body. He rested his head on my shoulder.

"This is nice," he softly said.

"It is," I replied and took another sip.

"Yes, it is," Mrs. Peterson said. "I'm glad you could join Vaughan, Mitchell. It's nice having you here."

"Thank you, ma'am. I've had a good time."

"Further?"

"Yes. I was underage, but the Petersons let us have some wine. There was a fireplace. It was all romantic. After his parents turned in, Vaughan topped off our wine, and I think I had a slight buzz when we went to bed."

"What are your thoughts on alcohol?"

"Then or now?"

"Either."

"Well, then ... it was ... an unknown. I didn't do much underage drinking. I learned to appreciate it as an adult. Cooper was in AA, so I didn't drink much then. When he and I started out, he was heavily drinking, even at work. That changed. For the better, thank goodness."

"Did it affect your decisions in any way that night?"

I questioned if it did or not. It was so long ago.

"Maybe. Drinking is supposed to make you let down your guard. I don't think it caused me to do what we did, maybe just the fact that I was willing to do it with his parents down the hall."

I didn't even think about keeping my underwear on. The previous night had gone so well.

Vaughan stretched out his arm as I crawled into bed. My dick wasn't hard, but it wasn't soft either. I rolled into his body and his arm wrapped around my neck. I kissed him on the cheek. I liked being held like this. Vaughan was athletic, but he wasn't a jock. He wasn't on a team. His arm seemed strong pulling me into his body. He worked out; his muscles felt very masculine. Being in a bed with actual space, it was kind of ironic that we were so close together. However, it had been handy in maneuvering the night before.

He had not turned off his lamp, but it had a dimmer. We held each other in the lowest setting of illumination. My hands rubbed his pectoral muscles. They gripped them and massaged them.

"Have your parents always let you drink?" I asked.

"It's not like I drink a lot. Since I graduated high school, if they are having wine, they offer me a glass. I've learned to like it. They have told me as long as I am home and not driving, they permit it."

"That's pretty progressive."

"If you think so. It's not like they are funneling it down my throat."

I silently snickered.

"Speaking of down your throat," I whispered into his ear. He found my dick, now fully hard, and began stroking it. Immediately, my hard-on was swarmed with stimulating pleasure. I breathed a soft moan in his ear.

It wasn't long before he instructed me (in the most loving way) to "come up here." I thought I knew what he meant. He wanted me to straddle him and bring my cock to his face. As I leaned up to do that, I could feel slight effects from the wine, but it wasn't like I was tipsy.

I looked down at him as my erection was inches from his face. He smiled up at me, then he stuck his tongue out, and I rested my organ on it. A hand reached around to my ass to move my body closer. He consumed me. "Mmm," I softly acknowledged.

I worked my cock in and out of his mouth. My hands were on the headboard, and I soon increased my speed, virtually fucking his face. Both his hands groped my ass cheeks as I thrust my hips forward into his waiting throat. Soon, his fingers traced the length of my crack. He softly felt the fine hairs on my ass. I could easily detect one of his fingers exploring deeper, eventually finding the pucker of my hole. I didn't know what to think of it. He just massaged it and pushed on it and rubbed small circles in the area. But he didn't push in. I kept thrusting my dick into his face. One hand was holding on, the other ran my fingers through his hair. I was loving this position.

But he stopped.

He pushed me away from his face. My look of confusion prompted him to explain.

"I want to try something," he whispered.

"That was feeling pretty great."

"I know, but I've been thinking about something for a while."

I cocked my head but didn't say anything.

"Do you ever think about doing other stuff?"

I thought I knew where he was heading, but I didn't want to say.

"Go on."

"I want you inside me, Mitchell. Do you want to do it?"

"Fuck?"

He nodded vigorously.

Whoa. Normally I wouldn't have pursued this. I didn't feel ready. I would have asked him to wait, but the wine may have lowered my inhibitions.

"I've never done it. Do you know what to do?"

"Let's figure it out."

I was scared but excited. I was eager but nervous.

He motioned for me to take my body from above his. I maneuvered to his side, now seeing his hard cock bob as he twisted his body to reach into his nightstand. His arm rummaged through things until he pulled out a bottle of lube. He reached down further into a lower drawer. Half his body seemed to have plunged over the side of the bed. He pulled himself back up, this time holding a towel.

"When did you get lube?"

"I actually bought it in high school. I've used it to jack off a few times, but I really bought it for fucking ... one day."

"Wow." I looked at the bottle. "I've never even felt lube before."

He squirted some in his palm and then reached for my dick. He slid shiny liquid around my shaft.

"Oh wow."

"What do you think?"

"Slippery."

"Will you fuck me, Mitchell?" he said, our voices still low.

"Here? With your parents down the hall? Of all places?!"

"Do you think it will be easier at school with roommates and residents on both sides of thin walls?"

I reflected on his logic. "Probably not."

"Let's do it."

The Cabernet inside my head said, "Okay."

Vaughan rolled out the towel, and then dropped his body on top of it. His crotch was pressed dead center. His ass faced me.

"Have fun with me."

I hadn't seen a lot of people fuck. Not just guys on guys, but people in general. I hadn't looked at porn on my own computer at home, but I did a few times on a tablet. Basically, what I knew was from photos.

I stretched my body around his. Reclining on my elbows, I slid my erection up the length of his crack. It felt like placing a brat in a hotdog bun. I slid it back and forth a few times.

"That's nice."

I kissed the back of his neck as I continued to explore the crevice with my rod.

"Do me."

I had no idea what I was doing. I felt my dick needed more lube, so I reached for the bottle.

"Do we need a condom?"

"Have you ever been fucked before?" he mumbled with his face half-buried in a pillow.

"No."

"Then you should be safe."

He sounded very confident. But was he right? Shouldn't we know all these things before we start? My heart began to pound, but not for the right reasons. I was legitimately scared.

"Fuck me, Mitchell."

I placed the head of my dick at this hole, burrowing through the mounds of his cheeks. Slowly, gently ... I pushed forward. It didn't seem like I was going in. I was just pushing around.

Then I felt it slip inside.

Vaughan's body lurched. "Ow. Ow." I could tell his face winced in pain. "Take it out, Mitchell."

My heart was a jackhammer. What had I done? I had done it wrong. I messed it up. What was I supposed to do?

"I'm sorry," I said.

"No. I am." Vaughan gasped. "I thought it would be easier to take. Porn makes it look so simple."

I pressed my body to his. My chest was warm on his back.

"We don't have to do this," I whispered. "We don't have to be ready right now."

"Mentally, I was," Vaughan sighed. "It's just my ass that wasn't ready."

I chuckled into his shoulder.

We remained still and silent for a moment. There wasn't a clear path for us to take. Neither of us were certain what to do.

"How about you try to get my hole ready for your dick."

My forehead must have twisted in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"Finger fuck me first."

"Huh?" I asked, lifting my body off him.

"Use your fingers. First one finger, then when I get used to that, use two."

Fingers. In asses. Did people do this? It seemed foreign to me. This couldn't be what others did, could it? Maybe it was. Vaughan knew more than I did.

But could I?

I wasn't wild about my finger being up someone's butt. But I looked at his ass. It was nice. I loved feeling it, groping it. Why not explore inside it? I forced my brain to think of it as hot and sexy.

"You sure?"

Vaughan nodded his head into the pillow.

I reached for the lube and dripped some into his crack. He jumped and giggled a little.

I worked my pointer finger into the lube and moved toward his hole. Gently it rubbed the entrance. I slowly pushed through. It felt so tight. I could sense his body fighting me.

"Relax," I whispered.

He turned his head to where I could hear him. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.

I began to pulse my finger in and out a bit. That caused Vaughan to softly moan.

"Do two," he requested.

I made two of my fingers slick. I stacked them and pushed their way in. There didn't seem to be any defensive resistance from Vaughan's ass this time. He hummed as an approval.

I assumed I would be grossed out being inside him this way, but it was fine. I enjoyed causing him to moan. I knew it was too soft for his parents to hear, but I could tell. I slid in and out. I pictured my cock doing it. It throbbed as I worked his hole with my fingers. It wanted back inside.

"Mitchell, try again."

I got back on my knees and put new lube on my dick.

"Ready?" I asked.

"Mm-hm," he said into the pillow.

The head of my dick lined up with his hole. All I had to do was push. I didn't want to hurt him again.

"Do it," he whispered.

I pushed slowly. My cock burst in. And then one inch entered. Two inches. I paused. Vaughan didn't protest. I pushed slowly again. Three inches.

"You okay?"

He nodded.

Gently, I moved all of my erection inside. "Ohhhhhh, fuck yeahhhhhh," I sighed.

"It's nice," said Vaughan.

"You're fine?"

"Yeah," he breathed. "Fuck me."

I began to thrust in and out. I lowered my body completely, breathing in Vaughan's ear.

"Mmmng," I grunted as I moved deep into his passage. "Unngh."

We were fucking.

I was fucking.

Fucking.

I put my forehead on his neck. I concentrated on the feelings and sensations my cock was experiencing. I liked it. Moving in and out was so pleasurable. I wondered what Vaughan was feeling. My breathing on his shoulder blades blended with a slight whimper as my dick throbbed.

"Fuck me," he panted.

"This feels so good, Vaughan. I love fucking."

"You feel good inside me too."

I kissed his neck. I thrust my erection. My hands clutched his hands.

We were fucking.

I was fucking.

Fucking.

"Miiiitchellllll," he groaned. "Fuuuuuckkk meeeee."

I felt his ass squirm and the muscles at his hole squeezed my rod.

"Oh man," I whispered. "Vaughan. It feels so good inside you. I'm so glad we are doing this."

"Yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh Mitchell."

I tried to push harder. Faster. Deeper.

It was all too much.

We were fucking.

I was fucking.

Fucking.

Coming.

I was coming.

We were coming.

"I'm coming, Mitchell."

"You are?'

"Me too. UNNNGH!"

That was too loud. I prayed his parents couldn't hear it.

"Mmngh. Mnngh. Ungh. Ohh."

Vaughan was gasping in his orgasm. We both panted. When I stopped coming, I put my arms under his chest and held us closely together.

"I liked that," I whispered into his ear.

"It was good for me too."

"I can't believe you came without touching your dick."

"It was being rubbed into the bed. It was throbbing."

"Wow."

"Can you keep your cock in me a while?"

"You sure?"

He nodded.

I could feel the stiffness subside, but I was still deep in him.

We just breathed, me on top of him. We stayed stacked for a few minutes. We were content to melt into our first fuck. I fully accepted being gay for years now. This moment took it to a new level for me. I had always been curious about anal sex, but I wasn't sure how to approach it. I was so grateful that Vaughan had initiated it. I hadn't seriously considered moving forward with this in the past. It was just too uncertain.

My cock was no longer tight inside him. It was retreating. I removed it by lifting off of him. I flopped my body against him.

Vaughan rolled on his side. He looked down at the cum smeared into his navel and the towel.

"I'm glad you had the towel. I'd hate for that to be on your sheets. That would have been a bit tricky to explain."

"The feel of the towel rubbing against my cock helped cause me to come."

I felt the strands of fluffy cotton between my fingers. I pictured my own penis rubbing into it.

Vaughan wiped the cum from his waist. He threw the towel to the side of the bed and turned out the light. In the darkness, I reached for him. He snuggled into my arms.

"How did it feel?" I asked.

"With you inside me?" He paused. "At first, it was ... odd. I felt ... plugged."

"Plugged?"

"It was just a sensation I'd never felt before. Then, as you fucked me ... It just felt good after a few minutes."

"I didn't last for more than a few minutes."

He chuckled. "It was good, Mitch."

"I'm glad we made it work. I felt bad when it hurt at the beginning."

"Yeah. I'm glad we figured it out."

"Thank you," I innocently said, kissing him lightly.

We kissed for several minutes.

"You were concerned about his parents. Did they hear you?"

"I don't think so. When I came, I groaned a bit, but they may not have heard us. I hope they didn't." My body shuddered thinking of being listened to. "But I imagine that they assumed we were being sexual in some way."

"Most likely." Logan reached for his pad but then put it back down. "How did you feel after your first time?"

"How did you feel??"

"We're here to talk about you."

"It was my first time, soooo... I guess it was kind of a big deal."

"Did you top or bottom?"

"Does it matter?"

"Not necessarily."

Vaughan and I had made love the same way the next night. He wanted me to do it again. I eagerly had been looking forward to it. We didn't have sex of any kind our final night at his parents' house. We just went to sleep. I wasn't sure why we took a break, but we did. And that was fine.

On the drive to my own parents' house, I thought more about fucking. Was I ready to bottom? I really wanted Vaughan's cock inside me. I wanted to know what that felt like, but I was scared. It seemed like it was a requirement of being a gay man, but I didn't know if I was ready.

My folks liked meeting Vaughan. We had a good visit that first evening. I kept my boxers on when we climbed into bed.

"Do you want me to keep mine on?"

"Is it okay? I'm kind of freaking out having a boyfriend sleep over."

"I think they liked me okay."

"They did. They did. I didn't mean to imply they didn't. I – I just don't know how I feel about them knowing I'm gay and having a boyfriend in my bedroom. What if they wonder if we are having sex?"

"Mitchell, they ARE wondering if we are having sex because they are parents. Whether we do or don't probably won't matter to them. If it did, they'd ask me to stay in the guest room."

"I suppose."

We kissed for a few minutes. I turned out the light.

"I'm happy to be with you here even if we don't do anything, Mitch." Vaughan paused. "Sex-wise, I mean."

I reached toward his crotch. His hard-on was clearly evident in his underwear.

Damn.

"I wanted to ... do both. I fucked him the first night. Two nights. We moved from his home to my home halfway through spring break. I was wanting to do it the other way, but ..."

"But?"

"I was scared to do anything with my parents in my house. I was lame."

"I wouldn't be too hard on yourself. That's probably a common feeling."

"I suppose, but on the third day, both my parents attended a luncheon with a group they are a part of. I forget what it was."

"And?"

"You're sure pizza is fine?" Mom asked.

"Yes, Mom. We get pizza all the time in college."

"Okay. I suppose. I'm sorry that this luncheon is scheduled for today while you are here."

"Mom, it's fine. I don't want you and Dad to disrupt your life just because I'm home. We have all evening together."

We waved to them as they went out the front door. I watched them pull out of the driveway. Once I knew we were alone, I turned to Vaughan.

"You want to fuck?" I asked.

"You know it," he smiled.

I walked up to him and took Vaughan in my arms.

"I think it is my turn," I softly said in his ear.

"You want me to fuck you?"

"Yeah." I paused. "I'm scared though."

"Don't be. We'll take it slow. I promise not to plow into you."

I laughed. I pulled back to look deep into Vaughan's eyes.

"My mother told me you were very good looking."

"Aw. I love her."

I led him to my old bedroom. We weren't concerned with pizza. We didn't care about my parents. The two of us were just going to embrace our temporary solitude and take pleasure in each other — our male bodies, our male flesh.

We removed our shirts. Vaughan walked up to me and ran his fingers through the chest hair that had gotten thicker my freshman year. His body was much more built than mine, but he didn't have much chest hair. His pecs were quite defined. Vaughan had a great body. I'm glad he found satisfaction in my chest hair; I had that going for me at least.

"I remember when you didn't have a beard last fall. I like it."

"Thanks," I said, blushing. "Guys always want to grow one in the winter. I just played along. I kind of like it too. I'm not sure if I'll keep it."

As Vaughan felt my chest, my hands dropped to his zipper. I slowly pulled down the tab a millimeter at a time. When it was fully descended, my hand slid inside to grope his enlarging bulge.

"I want to fuck you," he breathlessly said.

I nodded. I was terrified, but I knew that once I had experienced it, I would have reached another level on my gay bingo card.

I got on my knees and lowered his pants and underwear together. His erection sprang free. Vaughan wasn't as long as me. I wondered if that was a good thing when being fucked. He had about the same girth as me. I grabbed his stiff rod and just felt it. I was most likely mentally preparing my body that this pipe was going to be inside me soon. He ran his fingers through my hair as I fondled his erection.

I opened wide and took Vaughan's cock in my mouth. He stepped out of his clothes as I serviced him orally.

"Mitchelllllllllllll..."

I sucked him harder. After a minute, he pulled me off his anatomy. I knew he didn't want to come before we had a chance to fuck.

I pulled off my remaining clothing. I went into the bathroom to get a towel. When I returned, Vaughan reached into his duffle bag and pulled out the lube. Seeing the bottle hit me that what we were going to do was really happening.

My heart was pounding, not from my excitement but from my hesitation.

We took our places on the bed. Vaughan handled me gently. His hand carefully caressed my arms as he leaned in to kiss me. He delicately felt my penis and balls.

"I'm nervous," I said.

"It's okay. I'll go slow."

"Is it okay if I watch?"

Vaughan's eyes darted back and forth processing my meaning. He figured out that I wanted to be on my back and look at him as he took my ass's virginity.

I sat my pillow up and leaned back into it. My legs spread with the towel below me. Vaughan moved between them. His dick was a sword, threatening me. He popped the lid on the bottle and dripped lube on his fingers. He rubbed the slick liquid on my hole. I breathed in feeling someone touch me in that area. The tip of his pointer finger investigated the pucker at the entrance to my insides. It touched, it probed, it made tiny circles and then it pushed in me. One finger entered me.

"Hmm." I wasn't sure. It didn't feel bad. It didn't feel good. It was just ... something that didn't belong.

"Okay?"

"I think."

Vaughan's finger explored. I felt it work around, helping me to relax and open wider. We kissed as my interior was being touched in a way it never had.

"Two," I said.

He removed his finger and added liquid again. When two of his digits entered me, I stiffened.

"Relax," he breathed.

I closed my eyes and tilted my head back. He played with my hole, and it opened wider for him. Vaughan kissed me deeply as his fingers fucked me. It was still an odd sensation, but I liked him moving in and out of my ass. There was some pleasure to it. I knew that was what it was going to feel like to be fucked. At least I hoped it was.

"Do me," I said, looking into his eyes.

He pulled me down further on the bed. Before opening the lube again, he moved my legs farther apart. The pop of the lid made me jump a bit. My heart was pounding. I was ready but would never be ready.

He dabbed more lube at my entrance and then coated his cock with shiny lubricant. It shimmered in the sunlight filtering in through the slats of my window blinds.

Vaughan positioned himself on one elbow. I could see the strength in his muscle as he balanced his body and placed his dick right there to enter me. He pushed forward, but it slid below, going down my crack. He placed it again, and I reached down to help him line it up at the right angle. He moved forward again.

It went in!

I inhaled all the air in the room in a startled gasp. It was a foreign object that didn't belong inside me. My body tensed. My eyes closed as my face winced in discomfort. It was weird. It was awkward. It was ... "full." It was something that shouldn't be full. Not in that way.

"Breathe."

"I don't know, Vaughan."

"Look at me."

I opened my eyes to stare into his beautiful hazel ones. He mouthed the word "breathe" to me as he smiled and nodded. I nodded back. He maneuvered another inch into me. My body tensed.

"Relax, Mitchell." He demonstrated exhaling to me. "Relax."

I breathed in and out. It felt less uncomfortable with each second. Vaughan moved up to kiss me. In so doing, his cock completely entered me. He was fully inside. I had been officially fucked.

"We had privacy, so I felt that I should ... you know ... have my turn at ..."

"Bottoming?"

"Yeah."

"From what I remember, that was never an issue."

After a few thrusts, all the tension left my body. I reached around Vaughan and felt his back. His athleticism had given him defined muscles. He wasn't a body builder, but his male figure was well toned. He was a beautiful man.

"Oh, Mitchell. This feels good. My cock feels great inside you."

"Good. I'm okay. It feels okay."

"I'm glad. Thank you for letting me fuck you."

"Fuck me, baby."

I had never used any terms of endearment with Vaughan. He leaned in to kiss me again. I placed my hands on his ass and loved feeling them thrust into my crotch. Thrusting. Kissing.

We were fucking.

I was being fucked.

Fucked.

Me.

I felt incredibly gay. Incredibly hot. Incredibly male. Incredibly stimulated.

We were fucking.

I was being fucked.

Fucked.

Me.

I softly moaned as my insides were being stimulated like never before. I liked it. "Vaaaughaan." I loved it. I loved being fucked.

I was being fucked.

Fucked.

Me.

"Unnnnghh. It feels good. Fuck me harder."

With my instructions, he pushed harder into my hole. Faster. I lifted my legs and twisted them around his thighs.

Vaughan growled like a bear. I moaned. His volume was at a screaming level. I knew were alone, but I panicked. What if someone outside could hear us. I didn't like him being that loud. What if anyone — on Planet Earth — could hear us?

My hands grabbed the side of his face and pulled him into a kiss. It muffled his groans, but he still moaned as we made out. His dick moved in and out with faster thrusts. He moaned into my mouth. He got louder.

I was being fucked.

Fucked.

And he pressed so hard into me and wailed. He pulled his mouth from mine.

"UNNNGHHHH!"

He pushed so hard into my hole, trying to drill deeper. His muscles told me he was coming. His neck told me he was coming. His groans and whimper told me he was coming.

I was being fucked.

Fucked.

And filled with another man's cum.

"Vaughan. Baby. Oh, man. Yes. Fill me with it all."

"From that first time, I loved it. Cooper and I would do it both ways, but he preferred to top, and I loved being bottom. We were a good fit that way."

"So, there was nothing traumatic or unsettling about it?"

"No. I loved it. Well, he got really loud at one point, and I wondered if anyone outside could hear us."

Logan laughed. "Doubtful."

"He was loud, I'm telling you."

"Fuck yeah," Vaughan groaned as his orgasm subsided. "I'm sorry. I know I only lasted a couple of minutes, but ... man. That was great."

He pushed his dick into me a bit. He fucked me for a few more seconds, but even I could tell it was beginning to soften.

His mouth pressed to mine again, and our tongues touched each other. We made out for a long time as his penis withdrew from my body.

One of his hands reached down to find my hard-on. I moaned into the kiss as my manhood was being groped.

Vaughan moved down to engulf my rod. Slippery, sloppy, slobbery moisture coated my cock as he bobbed up and down. I rubbed my fingers through his hair.

One minute became two. Two minutes became four. My moans let him know it was very pleasurable. As I approached my orgasm, I pleaded, "Don't stop, babe. It feels so good."

I figured he didn't want me to come in his mouth, so I alerted him that I was close. He didn't stop orally gratifying me. I let him know I was about to come, and he took his fist and stimulated the base of my shaft as he continued to such my cock.

"Vaughan. Vaughan." My hips bucked. "Unggh!"

He swallowed all my cum as I came into his mouth. I was surprised that after he had just had his climax that he was willing to do that.

He purred as he took the last bit of release from my hard flesh. I exhaled a satisfied moan.

Vaughan moved up to kiss me. His tongue forced his way into my mouth. The cum slid between our tongues. It was the first time I had ever tasted my cum in that way, not that cum had much to taste. But it was intoxicatingly erotic. I didn't come down from the sexual high for quite some time.

We held each other. I loved feeling his body. The clamminess of his skin following our passionate intimacy was euphoric.

"I loved that," I said.

"Me too. Best sex I've ever had."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

I thought for a moment. "I guess it was for me too. I'm glad it was with you."

"How would you describe the impact that first time had on you?"

"Well, I knew I loved fucking, that's for sure. So, huge."

"How long did you two stay together?"

I had to think back. There were only two months of school left before summer break.

"Not a long time. It's funny; I really cared for Vaughan. A lot. I think he thought the same. But ... after we were screwing for a few weeks, it seemed to fade."

"What do you mean?"

"When we got back to school, we tried to figure out when we could get together and fuck each other. The first two weeks, we did at least every other day — with some effort. Then it started to subside some. It became ... an effort."

"An effort?"

"I mean, the sex was good, but ... Vaughan had athletic friends. I think he was trying to find someone else who was gay. I don't know. We liked each other ... a lot. But we never said `I love you' to each other. I think we both knew we had enjoyed having fun together. We learned a lot about gay sex with each other, but maybe we knew we weren't the right fit."

"Why did you think that way?"

"Different interests. Different classes. Different friends. Our main connection was that we were both gay. I guess after a while, maybe we figured there needed to be more than that, more than just the sex."

"But you feel you learned something from your time with Vaughan?"

"Oh, hell yeah. It was a sexual awakening. I'm sure if I had just done the blowjobs and handjobs, I would have been fine. But the change was big in me. I was young. Sex had a much greater impact."

"It was then a high priority?"

"Most definitely."

Logan scribbled something on his notepad.

I started thinking of ways to break into his office overnight, just to see what things about me he wrote down.

* * * *

Email: timothylane414@gmail.com