Say Goodbye to Sparkleland

Say Goodbye to Sparkleland Chapter 28

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As you might recall, Chapter 27 ended with Mitchell telling Carter he was in love with him.

28

Mid-March

"Carter told me last night," Layton texted. "I'm happy for you guys."

"Thanks. Miss you, by the way."

"He was so beside himself with happiness. It was obvious," Layton added.

Before meeting Carter later, I called my mother.

"Mitchy! Hi. We just saw you and your boyfriend, Sunday. But I'm still glad you called. Is everything okay?"

"It is, Mom. I ... I told Carter I loved him this week. I said the three words."

"Oooo. Well, this is good, right?"

"Indeed. I haven't loved anyone since Cooper. It felt ... nice. Once I realized it, I just ... feel happy. I wanted you to know."

"Well, I'm happy for you too."

—

I had texted Carter yesterday that I wanted to make lunch. We would spend most of the day at my place, and then — for Fletcher's sake, we'd sleep over at his. I encouraged him to bring him over.

"Does he travel well?" I asked, rubbing Fletcher's head as I answered the door.

"I guess. I don't think he's going to pee in your apartment or anything. He's fine in the car, for a while at least."

Fletcher walked around the apartment, sniffing anything and everything. Hopefully my scent in the place would make it slightly familiar.

"How was work last night?"

"Busier than I expected, which is a good thing, tip wise. I didn't shower when I got home. I hope I smell okay."

I walked up to him. "You smell fine. Not shower fresh, but nothing bad."

"Hmm."

"Besides, we're going jogging today. It's nice out."

"Right." Carter turned toward the kitchen. "That smells good."

"It's baked chicken with Italian seasonings, then I top it with grilled onions and sauteed tomatoes. I know it as Chicken Vera Cruz. I'm not sure where I learned it, to be honest."

"I am sure I will love it."

"I have some green beans to go with it. No salad though."

"Totally fine. I will make a ham and cheese sandwich before I go to work. This will hold me until I scarf it down at 7 or 8."

"You sure?"

"I don't eat a ton."

"Which is why you look so fit."

"Staying busy helps. When you don't have snacks within reach, you can't eat them."

We sat down to eat right away. Carter had brought some dog treats for Fletcher. My meal received compliments from my lover, so that was nice. A sliced loaf of French bread made it a more filling meal.

After we ate, I took a moment to show him my test results. I wanted him to know that both of us were able to fuck freely.

We knew the afternoon would bring out large crowds at Rebbie Park. We decided to go out to the bike trails by the lake instead to do our jog.

"If I am not mistaken, two casual friends of mine — Lance and Jakob — got married in one of these houses around here."

"How do you know them?"

"They live out of town now. I guess I met them through Cooper. Trent has an event every November where people bring friends. He calls it Friendsgiving."

"I see. That sounds nice."

"I haven't gone the last two years. Maybe you and I can attend this year."

Carter stopped jogging. He stared at me.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. The fact that ... never mind, it's nothing."

I grabbed his hand. "Tell me."

"It's – it's silly but, that's over half a year away ... and you are already making plans for us."

"So?"

"You see us ... well, you still see us together in November."

I reached for his other hand. "I love you, Carter. I'm hoping that doesn't change. Yes, I'd like to see us together ... for as long as it makes each of us happy."

He kissed me. "You make me happy."

"I just don't want to mess it up. You make me feel like I haven't in a long time. I like feeling this way."

We kissed again and resumed our jog.

As we re-entered town, I saw an ice cream place. "Ooo. I guess it reopened for spring break. Want something?"

"Following a jog? We deserve it."

Apparently, Fletcher liked ice cream because Carter gave him a spoonful before he finished his strawberries and cream. I had a few bites of fudge ripple left.

I knew Carter had to go to work soon. I was feeling moments where I missed seeing him at work. And Layton. But if that's what it took for the two of us to be a couple, I'd be okay with it.

Back at my apartment, Carter handed me a key.

"This is the spare key to my house. You can come over any time you like. I will feed Fletcher before I go, but if he wants to go out, you can take him out. His leash is by the back door."

"Okay. I wish you could shower here."

"Ohhh, Sweetie, me too. My work clothes are at home, and I have to make a sandwich and all that. It's just easier there. But ... trust me. I'd love to be wet and naked with you right now."

"For sure."

He started to get Fletcher ready. Then he turned to me.

"Oh. Did I fuck up?"

"Huh?"

"Were you hoping we'd ... do it this afternoon?"

"We have all day tomorrow. No. I wasn't expecting an afternoon ... session."

"Please let me know if I disappoint you in some way. I really do want to be the right boyfriend for you."

I walked up to kiss him. "You are. I'll be in bed waiting when you get home."

—

I needed to pee. I turned my head. It was 8:21. Morning. I felt Carter's hand on my arm. I could slightly make out his snoring. It was obvious I slept through his return home late last night.

Fletcher jumped off the bed and followed me to the bathroom. I didn't close the door completely. After flushing the toilet, I headed back to bed, Fletcher in tow.

I had more than enough sleep, but I wanted to lie next to Carter some more. I lifted his arm and maneuvered underneath it. He slightly stirred and kissed my neck. Then he drifted back off to sleep. At that point, he probably had only about five hours of sleep. I'd snuggle next to him for a little while and then get up and begin my day.

When 9 rolled around, I got up and started coffee. I texted the guys that I was sad I wasn't there this time. And then it hit me — damn! if I started staying at Carter's place on Saturday nights, I'd miss seeing the guys for coffee at 9 on Sundays. I didn't want to give that up.

Maybe something could work.

I checked email and did a little work on my laptop.

At 10:40, my boyfriend lumbered into the kitchen. He was just wearing tight underwear, which made him look insanely sexy to me.

"There's a cup of coffee left, if you'd like one."

"Please."

"I guess I didn't hear you come in."

"You don't remember?"

"No. What?"

"I came in, saw you asleep. I wanted to rinse off. I didn't sing this time. When I got into the sheets with you, you turned to me and asked how work was. I said, `fine.' Then you kissed me and told me you were glad I was home. About ten seconds later, you were back asleep."

"Seriously? I don't remember any of that."

"It was 3:10. No surprise."

Carter added some creamer to his coffee and sat on the couch. He gave Fletcher some attention.

I pulled out my phone and took a picture of them.

"Hey. I'm hardly dressed. That's not going on some social media post, is it?"

"No. You two were so cute. I'll enjoy looking at it now and then."

"We have all day. What do you want to do?" he asked.

"How about we have sex all day?"

He gave me a scornful look. "All day?"

"Okay. Maybe not all day. Four times is enough."

He laughed.

"Actually, I'm craving burgers at McGee's. Sound good?"

"Sounds great, to be exact. I'm not in the mood to fix anything at the moment."

I went over to the couch. I picked up Fletcher to sit in my lap. Carter opened his arm, and I leaned into his tall body.

"I have this coffee group on Sunday mornings."

"Yeah."

"And ... I didn't go today."

"Because ... you were here?"

"Yeah." I felt bad about having this discussion. "Those friends are kind of important. I mean ... I loved staying over ..."

"And I loved coming home to you in bed."

"But I don't just want to drop those friends."

"Sweetie, you don't have to do that. Hmm. I don't expect you to miss that. What would you think about — when you stay here — you set an alarm and get up to join them, and then ... I should be up and around when you get back."

"Would that be okay?"

"Of course."

"One day, though, I would like for you to meet them. I realize you get in very late, but perhaps once?"

"I could, I guess."

Once dressed, we took Fletcher for a walk. I then showered. Carter had washed up when he got back last night. I felt lonely in his shower by myself.

Lunch at McGee's was great. We both had bacon cheeseburgers and shared a large order of tots.

Back at his house, I brushed my teeth as I had not earlier in the morning. He did as well.

He looked at my reflection in the mirror. "How would you feel ... about ... maybe ... taking our clothes off?"

"Indoors or out?"

He grabbed a hand towel and whacked me in the arm. I laughed.

Two minutes later, our clothes were neatly folded on a chair in his bedroom. We closed the door to keep Fletcher out.

We stretched out on the bed, both completely naked and facing each other. Neither of us were hard. We weren't in a rush to get things done.

My hand touched his face. His hand reached for my penis. We gently touched each other. Our eyes communicated for the most part.

"I love looking at you," I said. "I miss seeing you at work. I miss The Black Stallion."

"I miss you being there too. I miss being your bartender."

"Well, now you're just my love bartender. And the service is excellent."

"Love bartender, indeed," he smiled.

"You're my L.B."

He got a huge grin on his face. "I like that. L.B."

"You do?"

"I never had a nickname growing up."

"Never?"

"No. If you shorten Carter, it's just ... Car. It sounds stupid, like an automobile."

"I see."

"Call me L.B."

"May I kiss you, L.B.?"

He smiled. "I love it. Yes, please."

We kissed.

"I like your lips, L.B.," I whispered, once they separated.

I reached for his cock. It was almost fully hard.

"I like your cock, L.B.," I breathed into his ear. "Want to stick it inside me, L.B.?"

"Yes, I do," his mouth whispered into my mouth.

He reached for the lube and hand towel.

"But first, turn over."

His hands rubbed my shoulders, then my blades, then the curve of my back. I moaned at his simple massage.

My ass cheeks were grabbed, and his grip spread them, opening my crack wider. I felt his warm breath breathe between my buttocks. His nose ran up and down the full length of my crack. Spreading the round flesh further apart, his tongue teased the recently showered pucker of my entrance. I moaned louder.

For a few minutes, I was licked in the most sensual way. It made me hard, even with my dick shoved into the sheets.

"Do me, L.B."

"I just love that," I heard him barely say.

Fingers lubed my hole. I wriggled my ass on his digits. He felt and probed and pulsed.

"Fuck me, L.B.," I whispered.

"Oh, yeah, Mitch. I want you. I need you. I crave you."

I rolled over. I wanted to watch Carter, my love bartender, service me.

Carter was coating his cock with lube. He moved his body forward toward my spread legs. A drop of pre-cum dripped on my thigh as he did so.

I lifted my legs, making my hole raise as much as I could. He lowered his cock, pressing the head into my crack.

"I'm all yours," I whispered.

He penetrated my ass. His cock was so slick, he went in deeper than he intended. I momentarily jolted, but his fingers had made me ready. I breathed deeply and was fine.

"All the way, babe," I cooed.

Slowly, he pushed in. He moaned a long cry of gratification when he felt his shaft completely engulfed by my body. My hands held the sides of his torso as he thrust his hard pole in and out of my welcoming passage.

"Oh. Oh yeah. Fuck. Fuck me, babe."

He groaned with his rhythmic thrusts, grunting when the movements in my hole felt the most pleasurable.

As we had become accustomed to doing, we gazed into each other's eyes. I had done that with other lovers, but there was something between Carter and me. We had become telepaths with our earnest looks.

"I love you," his eyes said.

"I love you too," mine replied.

"It feels so good inside you," his eyes said, without blinking.

"I love you inside me," my eyes responded.

"Fuck me, babe. Fuck me, L.B.," my mouth finally voiced.

"Ohhh yeah, Mitch. I love fucking you, Sweetie." He closed his eyes, and I missed seeing them. "Ungh. Ungh. Ohhhhh. I love FUCKING YOU! Ohh."

"Fuck, yes!" I said, as he looked at me again.

Carter pushed harder. My balls were tickled with the soft, furry texture of his bush. I tilted my head back and groaned.

"Oh yeah, babe. Fuuuuuuuuuck me," I whimpered. "Oh. L.B."

I reached for my cock. I jerked it.

My eyes returned to his.

"Stroke your huge cock," he gazed.

"You make it big," my eyes said.

"I love you, Mitch," his eyes said so softly, so sincerely.

"I love you, Carter," my eyes answered.

Then my eyes insisted he kiss me. Instinctively, Carter did.

He kissed me.

And fucked me.

I kissed him.

And jerked my cock.

We moaned in our kiss. My free hand held the back of his head. My tongue danced with his.

Our lips separated. "Fuck me hard, L.B.," I panted.

His breathing was heavy. His hips were thrusting more and more. I knew if he kept up this pace he would come. I didn't want him to come. I didn't want him to reach that point, but I couldn't ask him to stop. He filled me. He completed us. We were connected.

"Fuck me, L.B."

"Oh yeah, Mitchell. Mitch. Ooooooo. My dick is on fire. It feels so good."

"That's right. Make that cock feel good. Fuck the hell out of me, L.B."

His orgasm was building.

"Ohhh. Ohhhhh. Ohhhhhhhhhhhh. Mitch. Mitch. Ohhhhh, MITCH!! Ungh! UNGH!!! Ohhh. Ungh. Ungh. Ungh. UNGH!! Ohh. Oh. Oh. Ohhhhhhh."

"Kiss me, babe."

Our mouths were laminated into an endless kiss.

I released my organ and wrapped my arms around him. He pushed his cock in deeper. I knew it would retreat soon, but he kept his rhythm moving in and out of me. I hoped it still felt good following his climax. I wanted his thick hard-on in me for eternity.

He leaned up, and his penis was freed. I grabbed mine again and yanked hard. Carter saw a bead of pre-cum and lapped at it with his tongue. I beat my flesh harshly. His mouth moved over the head of my cock. I let go.

"Suck me, babe."

He did.

"Suck it hard. Suck me, L.B."

I lifted my arms to reach back behind my head. I watched my love bartender pleasure me in this different way. I loved watching him work no matter what he did.

"You're so beautiful," I said with sincerity more than lust. "You're so hot, babe."

He hummed into my erection.

"Ohhh, that feels good. Sooo good."

I lifted my hips to fuck his mouth in a gentle way. One of his hands reached to feel my chest, and he continued to suck me. Sucking. Lifting. Sucking. Thrusting. Sucking. Fucking.

I whined and wriggled in the stimulation. It was sensational.

He took his mouth off and began licking the underside of my cock. Up and down the length of the shaft, his wet tongue slobbered around my hard flesh.

"Yeah. Lick it, babe."

My hand reached for the base of my shaft, and I stroked it at the bottom. He licked the rest.

"Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Carter. Babe. L. B. Ohhhhh."

I jerked harder. He lifted off so that I could yank the entirety of my erection.

"Holy fuck. Yes," I growled.

Our eyes met. He knew they demanded he kiss me.

Just before his lips pressed to mine, I whispered, "I'm coming, L.B."

It felt like my cock tried to release my entire life's worth of cum in my climax. It kept pulsing when there was nothing left to ejaculate. I jerked hard as Carter's mouth devoured my face.

I needed air. Our mouths took in oxygen. My body trembled following the intense orgasm that had quaked through my body.

Carter fell to my side.

"That was amazing," I breathed.

He opened his arm, and I moved into it. Cum above my navel started to move, but it wasn't headed toward the sheets. Yet. We wrapped our legs together as if making a pretzel.

"I – I don't want to jinx it, but ..." Carter started to say. "I don't know if I've ever been happier in my life."

"What?"

"I'm serious. I've only been in love a few times. Maybe just twice before you. But this feels ... better. Better than I ever have."

"That's moving, Carter."

And scary as hell. We certainly weren't under any peer pressure, but I did wonder if he would soon find me ... ordinary ... average ... typical. He held me in such high regard, how could I possibly live up to his opinion of me?

I couldn't say I had never been happier. Cooper and I had been incredibly happy. He taught me not to be afraid to be loud during sex. I loved feeling like a family with him and Corey. I wasn't to that level of happiness yet with Carter. But at the same time, I WAS happy. Undeniably. We both had different pasts, different mistakes. Maybe him feeling good about ... us ... was perfectly fine if it was more intense than what I felt.

I also started to absorb his words further. I made someone happy. Me. Happy. I was pretty fucking happy too. It felt nice.

Carter's touch broke me from my thoughts. He ran his hand through my cum and then slid it all around my long-but-not-hard shaft. I put my arm around him and let him play in the male medium. He fingerpainted my cock. I appreciated his artist's concentration, staring at his artwork.

He kissed the head of my dick. "I'll get you something."

He returned a minute later with a wet washcloth, and then proceeded to wipe me clean and dry my genitals with a hand towel.

"One down, three to go," he said to my stretched body.

I laughed.

—

It was actually only one more time, just before we fell asleep.

Late March

Carter and I had developed a groove. Because of Fletcher, I would usually stay at his place over the weekend, but I would still join my coffee group while he slept. Monday evenings were at my place, and we still had sex even if he didn't spend the night. We agreed to meet for lunch once a week in the middle of the week. Our schedules were not ideal, but we felt we were seeing each other as much as most other couples that were dating.

We texted every day, at least twice. And we made sure we found a minute to hear each other's voice, whenever that was. If we hadn't connected during the day, Carter would always call me from the club before I went to bed.

We were so excited to be in love. Both of us were old enough to know the glow of "newness" would fade, but we had found something in each other. We were what each person needed. The old expression of "The eyes are the windows to the soul" couldn't have been truer for the two of us. Our eyes were telepathic. I never tired of looking into his. Each time we did so, we would immediately smile. The first thing our eyes said was "I love you."

We were taking our first trip together. It was just one night, and I took a day off so that we could do a Sunday/Monday overnight.

Once I returned from seeing the guys at Joe for coffee, my boyfriend was awake and had the car loaded for our trip. A trusted neighbor agreed to watch Fletcher for the night. We both showed him some love before we handed him over.

"This ... this is fun," he said, as we drove out of town. "I don't think I've taken a boyfriend road trip in ... at least five years."

"Wow. Yeah. I'm looking forward to this, even though it is only one night."

"Right. I know it's a silly trip. I just wanted to show you some things I remembered when I was a kid."

"I'm just looking forward to spending time with you."

About an hour out of town, we had a late lunch at a place called Brickhouse Pizza. It had a nice view of the river.

By mid-afternoon, we arrived at a quirky place called Shrine of the Grotto of the Redemption.

"What IS this place??" I said in bewilderment.

"We'd stop here on the way to my great-grandfather's house from time to time. I saw it a few times when I was a kid."

"It's both bizarre and beautiful at the same time."

"Yeah. I don't even mind the religious overtones. It's just ... cool."

"Yeah," I said, still awestruck.

"It's like over a hundred years old. I think it took 42 years to build. Something like that."

"What a cool roadside attraction."

"Yeah. I think the texture of it all captivated me. The rocks and minerals ... I had collected rocks as a kid. I think my parents thought I'd like it." He then muttered, "Back when they cared what I might like."

The two of us slowly walked through each scene. It didn't take us a long time, but we spent an hour taking in the details. The beautiful day helped us enjoy the spring temperatures. I wished the trees had leafed out, but it was a bit too early for that. Still, it was a gorgeous day.

Before we moved on, we went back to Carter's favorite part. He reached for my hand as we gazed on the colorful minerals.

"Thanks for letting me share this with you."

"I loved it."

As we got back into Carter's SUV, I asked, "Now that you are an adult, what did you think of it?"

"It's still amazing."

"The whole church thing doesn't change your perception?"

"No. I still find it peaceful and beautiful."

I continued to enjoy learning more of what made L.B. tick. When I met him, he just looked like a bartender who would like heavy metal, despite his short hair. It didn't take long for me to find the kind side that was subtly within. He and Layton listened to me following my sessions with Logan. I still thought of him as a tall, tough guy, but he had let me see the softer edges to his personality. The more time I spent with him, the more fascinating I found him.

I wondered what he thought of me. What drew him to me?

He was quiet as we continued our drive. I pondered if he was thinking of his childhood. Did he feel better about his parents then?

Before too long, he turned up the volume on the radio. Perhaps the song was something he liked. He would sing along from time to time. I didn't want to mention it because I thought he might become self-conscious, but listening to him sing made me happy.

Carter's voice and his hypnotic eyes had me wrapped around his finger.

I loved him. All of him.

After singing "Every Teardrop is a Waterfall" by Coldplay, he sipped on his iced tea we had refilled at the pizza place.

Jason Mraz' "I Won't Give Up" came on. It was such a loving song. I had always liked it. But now ... it wrecked me.

My eyes began to water. I tried to blink away tears, but I failed. I knew he had napkins in his glove compartment. I reached in and got one and wiped my eyes. It didn't help. He had noticed. A tear ran down my cheek.

"Mitchell! What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Just ignore me."

"Sweetie, did I say something wrong? What did I do?"

"Nothing. Just ... forget it."

"Please ... I'm here for you. Tell me."

I whimpered. "This song. It – it – it just triggered something. I don't know why it hit me."

Carter reached for my hand. There was an exit ahead and he pulled into a gas station.

"You don't need to stop. I'll be okay."

"Please tell me what's going on."

I gathered enough air to stop crying and blew my nose in the napkin.

"It's that song that was playing. I'm sure you don't want to hear any of this, but ... when Cooper and I were trying to work things out, I put pictures of him and me on a flash drive and put it to that song — "I Won't Give Up" — it ... it just reminded me of my failures. It hurts sometimes to admit you can't fix some things." I looked at him. "Please don't think bad of me. I'm just a ... a fuck-up."

"Think BAD of you?!" He clutched both my hands and squeezed hard. "I love you! If we are trying to ignore someone's past ... look at me. You don't hold anything against me. I was – I was fucked by strangers!! I was reckless. I was spit on and peed on and sucked cocks through glory holes of men I couldn't even see. I stuck my own dick through those holes. I – I – I was ..." He stopped. "You haven't held any of that against me. I'm the one who's a fuck-up."

We loosened our seatbelts so that we could hug. We just held for a moment.

"I'm sorry that hit me so hard."

"I'm here for you," he whispered.

"I love you."

"Me too. So much."

Someone came out of the gas station and saw us hugging. We suddenly felt awkward hugging in a SUV. We both decided to make use of the stop and went inside to pee.

Less than ninety minutes later, we were pulling into a driveway of an Airbnb in a small town called Okoboji. We had about an hour of daylight left. Our lodging was a lakefront property. Since it was springtime and not peak, as well as a Sunday and not Friday and Saturday, Carter felt it was a good price.

"My great grand-father took me here a few times. Let's go walk while we have some daylight."

The views of the lake were wide open since the trees were still bare. Across the water, I could see a small roller coaster and Ferris wheel. However, it was too soon in the season for those to operate. There was an assortment of boats in the water, but again, L.B. reminded me it wasn't peak season like the summer.

"It's nice here."

"It is. I wish you could see it when it's busy, but it sort of feels like we have it to ourselves right now."

Once the sun had set and twilight nudged us into getting back, we brought in the overnight bags and put things we had in the cooler into the fridge.

With just a little investigation, we found a cute local eatery, followed by a bar that was open until 10. Carter and the bartender swapped "work" stories and really hit it off. He was super gay-friendly, even though he said he was married to a woman. He was drawn in by us being a new couple and that L.B. wanted to show me the area.

Back in our Airbnb, we kicked off our shoes and pulled out another beer.

After sitting on the couch for a few minutes, I went to my bag. I came back with a small candle and a lighter. After a flick of my thumb, I lit the candle and turned out the lights. We both put our feet up on the coffee table, deciding it was rude to do so, but we felt being in socks protected it. He put his arm around me and pulled me to his side.

"I love this," I told him.

"Good. I'm glad."

For me to take a drink of my beer, I would have to lean up out of his arm around me, so I opted to not drink from the bottle. I just put my arm around his waist and my head on his shoulder. He could reach for his beer positioned as we were, but he hardly did. We just held.

My links to L.B. — our eye contact and his voice — weren't in use. It was just the magic of being in each other's arms. It was moments like this when nothing was happening that I knew everything was happening. It was love, and it almost made my heart ache because it felt so good. I hadn't felt this since Cooper — the early years of Cooper and me. When I had learned to love Corey and thought of us as a family, it felt this good.

"This house has three bedrooms," he said. "I assume you would want the master bedroom, but it doesn't have a shower. Just a tub. But we have the whole house; we can walk down the hall to the shower between the two other rooms."

"Mmm. Picturing us roaming the house naked is pretty damn hot."

"For sure. I do have one idea ... if you don't think it's dumb."

"Try me."

"I saw the tub on the website when I booked, so I purchased some ... bubble bath. If that interests you. Is it too gay?"

"Too gay?" I chuckled. "We're fucking each other. Isn't that as gay as it gets."

"You know what I mean."

"I think it sounds absolutely wonderful."

Exactly twelve minutes later, I was lowering myself in a hot, steaming tub of foam, once again moving into the arms of my lover, who had submerged his lower body before I did.

My body leaned into his chest; his wet arms pulled me into him tight.

"Ohhh, yeah. I like this," he whispered into my ear.

"It is nice. Do you do this with all your boyfriends?"

"The few that I've had? No. I've only done this once before, and to be honest, you're the first man."

"You did it with a woman?"

"Oh, hell no." He made a gagging noise, sticking his tongue out. "No. But it was ... a boy, if I am being specific. He was seventeen; I had just turned eighteen."

"Is this what your dad saw?"

"Oh, no. He only saw me kiss a boy. It was just a brief kiss goodbye kiss. But that was enough."

"I'm sorry he felt that way."

"Feels that way."

"Still not onboard, huh?"

"We just don't talk about it. At all. But ... let's not talk about him."

L.B. reached below the water to find my cock. I wasn't hard, but I loved him feeling me.

"So ... this boy?"

"Oh yeah. We were both seniors. He invited me on a camping trip with his family. We had all been swimming in the lake. His younger sister cleaned up first, then his parents took her into town. I forget why. Something they promised her. We had the cabin to ourselves for over an hour."

"Do you think they were giving you time to yourselves?"

"Um. I don't think he had come out to them. We were young. We were figuring things out. I looked at him in the showers in gym class."

"Me too. My first experience was the result of P.E."

"Frequent looks became simple talk. Simple talk became casual touches. Touches became kisses. We had our first blowjobs in that cabin. He discovered some bubble bath there, and we thought ... why not? It sounds stupid for a couple of high school boys to take a bubble bath, but we did. We didn't sit like this though. We faced each other. But we kissed and felt. Maybe we thought it was adult in some way."

"Kissing and feeling are two good things," I said with my eyes closed.

"Indeed."

His hand had my organ stiffening. His lips found my cheek and my ear.

"Was he the one you moved to Chicago with?"

"Oh no. That guy was just a friend. Not that we didn't fool around with each other, but we never ... liked liked each other."

"Support network."

"I suppose."

L.B.'s hand on my cock had me rock hard. I felt his erection in the curve of my back as well. His other hand moved suds to my chest. They crackled as he massaged them into my skin. I ran my fingers along his wet legs that sandwiched me between them.

He tugged a little harder. My hand covered his hand around my dick. We worked my cock together.

Carter's mouth was all over my neck as he stroked me. I hummed, enjoying the feeling of his lips on me.

"I want to try something," I softly said.

I stood and reached for shampoo. Trying to mimic the purpose of lube, I put some in my hole, doubting that it would work.

Carter held his erection upright like a pole for me. Balancing on the edge of the bathtub with one arm, I tried to descend upon it below the water.

I used my other hand to pull a cheek open. I was quite sure this wasn't going to work. L.B. guided the head of his cock to my crack. Gently, he tried to push inside. Shampoo wasn't the same as lube. It was challenging. Then I let my body just lower onto it.

At first, it was strange. Being underwater, the feeling of his dick entering me along with a quantity of liquid was odd. My hole wasn't ready, but I continued to force down on his pole. I grit my teeth as L.B.s girth rushed into me with accompanying water.

"That's it," he softly said.

He thrust his cock up into my passage, all below the water.

Although we weren't thrashing about, our movements did make some splashes.

"Fuck yeah," he moaned.

I grunted as he thrust up inside me. I felt wet and full and "tropical sunrise."

For several minutes, we fucked in the water.

"I need you to do me properly, babe."

I stood, removing the penetrating object from my body. Shortly thereafter, he stood as well. Towels got us mostly dry, and we moved to the bed.

I pulled the covers back. L.B. located the lube.

"Lie on your side," he instructed.

He did the same and came up behind me.

I could tell the head of his cock was slippery. He slid inside with no problem. We both groaned.

One of my arms helped lift my leg as he thrust his cock into me from behind. Pushing, Lunging. Shoving.

I didn't have sex on my side very often, but I loved this position. I wondered why I didn't do it more.

His hand roamed my chest, teasing the hair, feeling the nipples. All why thrusting his thick staff inside me.

He moaned. I moaned. We both felt good. His thick girth pleasured me, causing me to crane my neck back,

"You feel so good in me," I said to my lover behind me.

"I love your body, Mitch."

He reached down to find my dick was quite hard. He grabbed it and pulled it.

Pulling.

Fucking.

Pulling.

Fucking.

Thrusting.

Pushing.

Jerking.

Fucking.

Shoving.

Stroking.

Groaning.

"Pull harder, L.B.!"

He yanked my cock.

"Fuck me harder. I'm getting close!" I screamed.

L.B. was doing all the work. He fucked and pulled so violently, it was like an exercise routine.

He called out as he came inside me. Groaning with each pulse of cum, his arm momentarily stopped churning my cock. I loved listening to him come. Knowing I was a part of it was gratifying.

As his orgasm subsided, he resumed pulling my erection. He still moaned in the twilight of his climax, but his focus was on my cock. His, however, still plowed into me, stimulating me.

"Yeah, babe. Keep fucking me," I panted. "I'm almost there."

His tempo increased both inside me and on my manhood.

"Ohhhhh, yeah. Fuck me fuck me fuck me. Jerk my cock. Oh, babe. Yes. YES!! Ungh! UNGH!! Ungh. Unhh. Unhh. Unhhh. OHhhhhhhhhhhh."

I examined the area. All my cum was thankfully on the sheets and not the covers.

He rolled back, freeing his flesh from my anal prison.

I went into the bathroom and got a washcloth to wipe up the semen from the sheets. I went back to get it wet and dabbed it further, then I wiped down my lover's penis.

"Now what?" I asked. "It's just after 10."

"Round Two?" he answered, but I detected the sarcasm. "I like the back deck. I know it's chilly, but ... what would you think about sitting under a blanket and looking at the lake?"

"Nice. Naked?"

This time, he detected my sarcasm.

—

In the middle of the night, I felt something that awakened me. My cock was incased in something moist. I lifted my head to see Carter sucking me.

"Hey," I whispered. "That's nice of you to do that."

He took his mouth off. "I reached over and found it hard. It called to me."

I giggled. He began to suck me again. I was indeed hard, and his mouth on my erection was nice.

"Hey, babe. Kiss me."

"Hmm?" he questioned, his mouth full of cock.

"Kiss me."

He moved up to place his mouth on mine.

"While I love the attention, I think I'd rather we save it for the morning."

"I don't mind doing both."

I laughed.

"I love you, L.B."

—

"Oh, Carter! Oh, baby. L.B. L.B.! I'm coming!!"

I thrust my cock into his face one last time and unloaded. My hands gripped the top of the headboard. I groaned so loud that I wondered if the house next door could hear. Cooper would have been proud of my volume.

I pulled my hard-on from his mouth. He looked beautiful in the morning light beaming through the drapes.

I sat on my haunches with my knees still straddling his chest.

"I want you to do something," he requested, after catching some air.

"Okay."

"Grab the lube," he instructed.

Since I had just come and he had fucked me last night, I didn't think he wanted back inside me, but I was intrigued.

Carter got on his knees and faced me, shoulders to shoulders, cock to cock, knees to knees.

"Put lube on my dick," he said.

I did.

"Now grab it with both hands."

I did.

"Just hold them still."

L.B. grabbed my shoulders and began fucking my grip. His thick cock pushed in and out of my grasp. We kissed as he fucked my fists.

Kissing.

Grasping.

Moaning.

Thrusting.

Sliding.

Moaning louder.

Pushing harder.

Grabbing tighter.

Moaning louder into our kiss.

Groaning.

Louder.

"I'mcmng," he mumbled into the kiss.

I felt his cum hit my cock and my bush. He groaned into my mouth and his hands grabbed my shoulders tightly. He kept fucking my hands. Then he pulled back to breathe.

We looked at each other and smiled.

"Okay. That was fun. That was hot," I said.

"I'm glad you liked it. It felt great."

We showered together down the hall.

The morning walk was brisk, but it was nice to see the daylight shine on the lake. We found a breakfast diner, and we liked our meal.

Before we had to check out, L.B. and I just reclined on the couch, me in his arm.

"This has been a nice trip."

"It was simple, but I'm glad you liked it," he said.

"Doing anything with you is enjoyable, but I've enjoyed the time here ... in this house ... to be the best part. It was incredibly romantic to me."

"Me too. I love you, Mitch."

—

Early April

"What should I know?" L.B. said, getting into the car at 8:48.

"What do you mean?"

"How does this coffee group thing work?"

"We sit around and talk and drink coffee. What's to know?"

"Well ... for one thing, your ex will be there and his new partner. Are there things you don't bring up?"

"Hmm. Reminding everybody I cheated on him probably isn't the best conversation starter."

"I'd never do that to you, Sweetie."

Even after almost two months, I was still on the fence with Sweetie. It was so NOT in Carter's outward personality to call someone that, yet he repeatedly did. I didn't see myself as a sweetie, but when he said it, I just loved it.

"And I'd avoid calling me 'Sweetie.' Emory would never stop ribbing me."

"So, what's he like?"

"To call him a retired curmudgeon isn't exactly accurate. He's a realist. Down to earth. About as opposite of trendy as you can get. But at the same time, he has a nice softer side. He helped Cooper a lot when I had turned his life upside down."

"Okay."

"He's with Don, who is a truly sweet man. Don's a little older; he's in his 70s. I think they balance each other out."

"Adorable."

"If Corey is there, he is Cooper's son. He's started high school. Really a great kid."

"Did you like being in a dad role when you were with Cooper?"

"Hmm. I never felt like a father figure. I guess I was more of an adult role model. Corey and I were always close. We still are, even after ... what I did to Cooper."

"What do you all talk about?"

"You."

"Wait. What??"

"Kidding. After Layton and I kind of imploded, I held off telling them much about you. But when we both knew we loved each other, I couldn't help but tell them about you."

"Oh." A smile curled up at the edge of his mouth.

"They have been wanting to meet you."

"Geez. Now I feel pressure to live up to their expectations."

"They know I love you. That's all you need to know. They aren't expecting a talent show."

I heard Carter breathe in deeply. It wasn't like him to be nervous. I assumed I had spoken so highly of my group of friends that he felt nervous about making a good first impression.

As we walked in Joe, I glanced around the coffee shop. Brad was delivering a cappuccino to Larry. They were all here. We ordered at the counter once Brad returned. I asked if they had ordered any pastries, and Brad said they hadn't. I ordered a "round" of raspberry kolaches for the table.

We walked up to my friends.

"Hi everyone, this is Carter. Carter, this is Emory, Don, Larry, Cooper, and his son, Corey."

Everyone said "Hi" in unison. Several added, "It's nice to meet you."

Cooper stared at L.B. for a second. "Yoouuuuuu look familiar. I think I met you at The Black Stallion last fall. For a minute, at least."

"I believe that is correct," Carter replied.

Larry's eyes widened. "No. No. Noooooooooo," he breathed. His face was panicked; I didn't understand. "Oh no oh no oh no. Noooo."

"Larry, what is it?" Don asked.

"Nooooo. Oh my God. How have I not connected the dots before? Bartender, Carter. Dear God."

"What's going on?" I asked.

"Last fall, I had a fight with Cooper and ... nooooooooo."

Larry got up and went to the bathroom.

"What the hell?" I asked.

"I think I know," Carter said.

He got up and went to the bathroom. I turned to look. He rapped on the door. Larry opened it. My lover went into the bathroom with Larry.

"I'm confused," said Corey.

"Join the club," I replied. Then I gave him a hug.

"I think I know," Cooper said. "Last fall, Laramie and I had a terrible argument. He left my house and stormed off after saying something hateful to me. He went to Carter's bar and got terribly drunk. It was so bad, that the bar had to call me to come get him."

"Yikes," Don said.

"It was ... awkward. We patched things up the next day. In fact, we decided to move in together when we made up."

"So ... what is Laramie doing?" Corey asked.

"He's embarrassed, son," Cooper said. "It was a terrible night. He was drunk. He's afraid that he made a horrible first impression. At least I think so."

"Dear heavens." What had I gotten my boyfriend into??

I turned to look again. They came out. L.B.'s hand was on Larry's shoulder. Larry was beet red.

"So ... anyway. There's THAT," Larry said, settling back into his chair. "I guess I was so wasted that night back then that I didn't really piece together when Mitch was telling us about his bartender boyfriend. I guess I had sort of blacked it out."

"As customers go, that wasn't even close to being the worst. Not by a long shot," Carter said.

"Let this be a lesson to you, Corey," Larry said. "Getting drunk is never a good thing."

"I know." Corey sunk in his chair. I didn't know if he felt belittled by being given a lesson or if he was reminded that his father was an alcoholic.

"Mitch, here is your latte," Brad said. "L.B., here is your espresso." He looked at the table. "Kolaches are on the way. They are worth every calorie, trust me."

As Brad sauntered off, Don noted, "Brad called you `L.B.'"

"Oh," I said. "It's my nickname for Carter. It's a bit silly."

"Would you prefer we call you that?" Don asked.

"Oh, I don't think-" I started.

"Yes. Yes, I'd love it."

"You would?" I said, staring at Carter.

"I ... I really love it. Please, feel free to call me L.B., all of you."

I tried to read my boyfriend's expression. His face said a lot. I thought "L.B." was something between us. I wasn't sure why he wanted everyone to use his nickname.

To help lighten the mood, Emory changed the subject. "So, don't you think this eclipse thing is totally overblown?"

"Oh, honey. It's rare. It's natural for people to get excited," Don said.

"Not that we are in the path of totality," Corey said. "I feel kind of gypped."

"It gets dark every night," Emory said. "You're not missing much."

"At least we get out of class for a little bit. The whole school gets a pair of glasses."

"I bought a pair too," said Don.

"Want me to come up to work and watch it with you?" L.B. asked me.

"I wasn't even sure if I'd step outside, but ... sure." I kissed him on the lips in a quick peck. The others smiled at us.

"I do have the glasses as well."

Brad brought the pastries.

"On me," I said.

"Or-GAS-mic!" Brad sang. Then he looked at Corey, then Cooper and made a face wishing he hadn't used that word around a kid. Cooper rolled his eyes in acceptance of Brad's unspoken apology. Corey didn't blink.

He wasn't quite as old as I was when I had my first gym encounter with Nick. But even when Cooper and I were together, Cooper was assuming Corey had started masturbating. Teenage years were so full of questions. I hoped Corey was navigating those waters okay. I still wanted what was best for him.

Brad continued to top off our coffee, even those who had ordered cappuccinos and espressos (he brought L.B. a paper cup). We confirmed that the kolaches were indeed delicious.

Our conversation ranged from numerous topics. The Cubs season so far and the absolute stomp over The Rockies. Corey's upcoming Choir performance. Dune Part 2. Taylor Swift. The subjects were diverse enough that everyone could interject something to say. L.B. fit in well. There was an easiness to it all after a while. I'm glad that my boyfriend felt included.

At 10:45, we decided to get on with our day. We left Brad a huge tip. Once we stepped outside the door, Emory told Carter that it was nice to meet him, and they shook hands.

"I'm a hugger," said Don. "I hope that's okay."

The two of them hugged.

"You're cool," Corey said. "It was nice to meet you, L.B." He hugged Carter and then me. He gave me a wink — a wink! — and I knew L.B. met Corey's approval. His smile indicated he was happy that I had found someone. I loved that kid.

Larry faced L.B. "I hope you have a better impression of me now," Larry said. "Although, I can understand if you wouldn't."

"I am glad that we met how we did."

Larry was baffled by L.B.'s response. "Why on earth would you say that?"

"Because you two not only patched things up, but you are so deeply in love that it shows. It's like a message of hope for the world."

Larry looked dumbfounded. The look in his eyes indicated he was trying to decipher the code in my lover's message.

"Well ... thanks." The two of them gave a gentle hug. Larry then hugged me.

Cooper hugged me. "I like him. I'm happy for you."

"Thanks," I said, releasing his hug. He then gave a simple hug to Carter.

We all waved goodbye.

In the car, I asked, "Why did you want everyone to call you L.B.? I kind of thought that was between us."

"I just love it so much, Mitch. It's like ... sort of ... a new `me.' I have so much in my past that I'd like to forget and-"

"That's probably natural for everyone."

"But L.B. seems like a new beginning for me. And it's based on love and understanding. I just love it."

"You're such a nut. But I love you."

For the rest of the drive, he didn't say anything. In fact, when I glanced at him, he almost seemed sad.

"Is anything wrong?" I asked, turning into his neighborhood.

He didn't want to answer. "I'm afraid to say," he finally offered.

"Babe, you know we can tell each other anything. That's what love and trust is all about."

"Spending time with Cooper — and he's so infuriatingly handsome — I can't compare to that. What if you one day realize that I don't measure up?"

"In what way??!"

"Come on. He's so freakin' gorgeous."

"You are a beautiful man, Carter Robinson. Don't think otherwise. I love everything about you. I love being with you. I love Fletcher. Our sex life is awesome. You're a wonderful man. I'm happy to be your boyfriend. I love you."

"Even though I'm a bartender?"

"That's not an issue. You're a fantastic bartender."

"Even though I have tattoos?"

"They are a part of who you are."

I turned off the car, and he kissed me. "I don't deserve you, Mitchell Sanders."

"I think it's the other way around."

—

May

"Hi Arlo. It's Mitch."

"Mitch! What a nice surprise."

"I have a favor to ask."

"Hit me."

"They said on the news that we should be able to see the Northern Lights even in the U.S. tonight."

"I heard."

"I'd like to get away from the city lights, and I know you and Seager live outside of town. Would you mind if I drove out and sat in your backyard?"

"That's sounds like a wonderful idea. We'd love to share our piece of the sky with you."

Just before nightfall, I arrived at their country home. They welcomed me with a beer. The gentlemen had three chairs set up in the backyard. It wasn't completely dark yet.

The men shared the same adoration for each other that I remembered last winter. They seemed to be a solid fit, even though they propositioned me into a three-way then.

I thought it was funny that they popped popcorn for us to enjoy while staring at the sky.

As we crunched on our snack, they asked me how I was doing, and I was able to tell them about my new love. They were happy for me, particularly Arlo.

It was funny how I looked at him differently. All those years ago he was a spontaneous lover who made me see sparks when we had sex. He seemed so much more mature than me then. Now I felt we were more on equal footing. I felt disposing of the black book to Logan and me abandoning chasing sparks as steps I took in being a person who had come into his own.

Seager lit up a joint. The two them passed it back and forth. Seager offered it to me as well, but I declined using the reason of having to drive later as an excuse.

"Guys! Do you see it? It's not just the pot, right?" Seager asked.

We laughed, but he was correct. The sky had a glow of magenta.

"It's – it's wonderful." I pulled out my phone to try to capture it. Somehow the phone made it even better.

I accepted a second beer from Arlo. Our conversation had stopped. The sky commanded our attention. I was struck by the magnificence of the moment.

I texted L.B. a picture.

Two minutes later, he replied: "Can I come?"

"But you're at work."

"It's slow enough that Harper said I can duck out. I want to be with you."

I texted him the address so that he could GPS his way to their home. I told Arlo and Seager they would get to meet my boyfriend after all. I just hoped the color would remain in the sky for L.B. to arrive.

It did.

I heard the car door slam, and I went around the house to meet him.

"It's amazing," he said into a fast kiss. "I'm blown away. Just driving here was incredible."

I introduced my love to our hosts. They shook hands and offered him a beer. They said they could light up another joint, but Carter declined it.

A fourth chair was provided so we could just gaze into the heavens.

After an hour had passed, we had gone through all the popcorn and our beers. We didn't tire of the view.

"If you guys weren't here, we might have fucked outside under all this color," Arlo said.

"Uhhh..." L.B. said, speechless.

"We ... can go," I said.

"No. I didn't mean that. I just love all things nature. It would have been ... special."

"Perhaps we should go," I said.

"I didn't mean for you to run off. I'm sorry." Arlo felt bad. "it's nice having you here."

"Maybe it will last long enough that you still can. We'll just stay for a few more minutes." L.B. said.

"Stay as long as you want," Seager said.

For a moment, I wondered if they wanted us all to fuck under the stars. As wild as that could be, my heart only wanted L.B. I didn't need other men.

The two of us stood and wrapped our arms around each other.

"Life moment," I softly said.

"I'll say. I'm so glad I came."

"Me too." We held each other and gave an eternal kiss. When our lips finally parted, I asked Seager to attempt a photo of us with the lighted sky behind us. Arlo turned on a porch light to give just a bit of illumination. I figured I could use PhotoShop to brighten us up.

A few minutes later, we thanked them and offered our goodbyes.

"You're going to have sex out here, aren't you?" I winked.

"You know it," said Seager. "We'll smoke first. It should be perfect."

Chuckles and hugs completed our visit. They told L.B. it was nice to meet him.

Ten minutes into our drive back into town, Carter pulled over to the side. I worried something was wrong. I got out and walked up to his window.

"Anything wrong with the car?"

"No. Will you follow me?"

"Uh. Okaaaaay."

I returned to my car. A quarter mile further, L.B. turned off the main road onto a country road. He drove less than half a mile and then pulled over. I pulled up behind him.

"Okay, my dear. What are you up to?"

"I have a blanket in the back."

"So. Seager put thoughts in your mind."

"Partially. I'm not sure fucking makes sense because then you can't see the sky. But ... I thought ... maybe we could just get under the blanket and ... look up and ..."

"Jack off?"

"Yeah."

"You're kinky, L.B. Robinson."

"That's not kinky; it's romantic."

Minutes later, Carter had the blanket spread out. It was large. We had passed some crops but were now in a field that had shorter grass. If we were to attempt this, we just had to hope no one would come down the narrow country road. It was after 11, so we felt we were safe.

We kicked off our shoes and placed them at the foot of the blanket. Each of us reached for the side of the blanket and wrapped it over our bodies. It was not snug; we had room.

"This looks like a perfect place for a hate crime. All we need is a redneck to show up and shoot a couple of queers," I said.

"If you don't want to, just tell me."

I reached over to feel that he had unzipped his fly and pulled his cock out. It was concrete.

"I'm in."

I was so in, that I took my jeans completely off, followed by my underwear. There was enough chill that I kept my shirt on.

He followed my lead. A minute later, we both stared into the red sky, stroking each other's cock.

"Wouldn't it be incredible if every time we had sex, the sky celebrated like this?" I asked.

"Totally. Let me know when you are about to come."

But that took a while. We weren't rushing anything. It was just tender and loving and beautiful, from the earth to the sky.

My cock was throbbing after a long period of it being stroked. I let Carter know I was about to come, and he ducked his head under the blanket. I unloaded into his throat as the sky shimmered in magenta and green. I couldn't imagine anything more perfect.

"Let me know when it's my turn."

L.B. moaned softly in the night air. It didn't seem appropriate to groan when watching the Aurora Borealis — but what could be appropriate? No one was around. I knew L.B. well enough to know he was getting close. My hand let go of his dick and my mouth took over.

"Mitchell ... oooohhh ... yeah ... oooohhhhh ... that's good ... that's good ... oh, Sweetie." He groaned and allowed himself to get louder. "Yeah, that's it. Keep sucking me. Keep sucking me!! Oh yeah. I'm there. I'm gonna come!!!"

And then he screamed loudly, as if to alert any nearby animals to stay away. My mouth was full of cum.

"I will never, ever forget this night as long as I live," I said.

"That's an understatement."

"Let's hold each other a little longer." We wrapped our arms around each other.

"How do you know Arlo and Seager?"

"He was ... a fling, if you want to call it that. Nothing serious. Just ... a hookup, but it was a meaningful one, if that makes any sense. It doesn't really, but we stayed in touch, I guess. He never thought he would be in a relationship. He and Seager have now been together several years."

"Think they wanted a backyard orgy?"

I laughed. "Yeah, I did. I'm glad we just kept it between us. Thank you for that."

"I love you, Mitch."

—

Our coffee group didn't meet the morning of Mother's Day. Cooper and Larry were heading to see Cooper's mother. Corey was with Natalie. Once Carter was awake, we were heading over to my parents' house.

At 10:13, Carter lumbered into the kitchen in his tight underwear -- a look I adored.

"You're up early, L.B. I didn't expect you to wake up until around 11."

"Maybe I knew we needed to get a move on or maybe it was the smell of coffee. I don't know." 

He walked to me to give me a morning kiss. The back of my hand gently grazed his crotch, slowly pressing on the length of what was his morning wood.

"There's still half a pot," I said.

Carter poured himself a cup. He looked my way.

"Did you shower?"

"No. I was waiting for you."

He smiled into his mug of coffee, breathing in the steamy vapors. "God, I love you."

"I'm just happy you are willing to go with me today."

"Of course. You're in my life now. You've included me in yours. I should be with you."

I stepped up to him again. "Now it is my turn to say, 'I love you.'" My hand felt his dick more deliberately this time. I kissed him again. "Every bit of you."

"Except my tattoos."

"Babe, I don't want you to say that again. I love you unconditionally. If anything, let those tattoos be a reminder of how much I do love you."

He tilted his head trying to understand my logic. I wasn't sure he fully understood, but I could tell he grasped my intent.

"How was work?"

"Average. Overall, this last week wasn't as good as the week before, but it was still fine."

"You're good with money, regardless."

"Thanks. Once I had my Come-to-Jesus responsibility wakeup call in Chicago, I tried my hardest to be an adult. I found it suited me."

Once Carter finished his coffee, we entered the shower. He and I only showered together once a week on average -- or as much of an average as we could have so far. For this morning, our time under the hot spray was more about touching and washing wet skin. Feeling. Rinsing. It was more sensual than it was sexual, but there was still hardness regardless.

"Before we go, I should call my mother," Carter said.

"Sure. We have time."

"It won't take long."

Carter put on underwear and then reached for his phone. He thumbed through his contacts and made the call.

"Good morning, Mom. Happy Mother's Day."

I could hear a voice but couldn't make out any words.

"Right, it is ... 9 there. I trust you and Dad are up."

A pause.

"How are you doing?"

A pause.

"That sounds nice. Any plans for today?"

A pause.

"My card arrived? Good."

During the pause, I couldn't sense any emotion in his voice.

"How's Dad doing?"

It was a slightly longer pause.

"I'm actually going with my boyfriend to his parent's house. We're going to see his mother."

A short pause.

"Yes. His name is Mitchell. I'm very much in love with him." He smiled toward me as he said those words.

Pause.

"We met at the club. He was a customer."

His expression changed. He turned away.

"No. He's not an alcoholic," he said in a quieter voice.

I could feel the conversation was nothing like what I would have with my mother.

"Yes. He's great for me. He's a wonderful man."

I appreciated the compliment.

"Well, I hope you have a good day, Mom. Happy Mother's Day."

There was no "miss you" or "love you" in their discussion. I'd be completely crushed if my conversation with Mom went that way. He said to say hello to his father and ended the call. Although I would be emotionally distraught with such an emotionless exchange with my parents, Carter ended the call almost matter-of-fact, stoic.

"Okay, I'm ready."

I wanted to ask how he felt, but I left it alone.

I had picked up flowers the night before while Carter was working. He said my choice was beautiful. I had a card and gift as well.

As we drove, I had a playlist of musical artists Carter liked. I hoped he would sing along. There was something about listening to him sing that soothed me. He was a complex person in many ways, but music definitely grounded him.

Upon entering the house, our arrival was met with a squeal from Mom. She squeezed me tight.

"I'm a hugger," she told L.B. "It's nice to see you again, Carter." My boyfriend easily accepted the hug. 

My father came in and hugged me. He extended his hand. "Nice to see you again, Carter." I felt my boyfriend related more to my dad than mother, probably because there were fewer questions.

"Happy Mother's Day," I said, handing her the gift and card. Carter handed her the flowers.

"Thank you, boys," she smiled.

I sensed hesitation in Carter to accept the gratitude, feeling the need to explain the flowers were from me as well, but he didn't say anything. Perhaps us being viewed as a single unit pleased him.

I knew we were getting hungry. Dad confirmed he had all the ingredients in the fridge. Carter and I encouraged the two of them to relax while we prepared lunch. My mother was not known to be a "relaxer," so she set the table and poured all of us iced tea. They sat at the table but could still have a conversation with us as we prepared one of Mom's favorite dishes.

My parents tried to show an interest in what Carter does. He spoke about some of the customers at the bar and some funny things that take place from day to day. It was simple chit-chat, but it was in a comfort zone for Carter.

Once we sat down for the meal, I made sure to steer the conversation to Mom's interests and memories of us growing up.

"Have you heard from Penny?" I asked.

"Oh, you know your sister. She's working in London through June. She called this morning. She sent a card and piece of jewelry that arrived on Thursday." Mom turned to Carter. "Is your mom in town, Carter?"

"No ma'am. My parents live in Seattle. I called her before we came over here."

Mom patted L.B. on the back of his hand and said, "Good boy." It was left at that, thank goodness.

My parents were complimentary of the meal the two of us had prepared. In addition to the main dish (Mom's recipe), Carter had fixed some of his healthier side dishes. My parents loved them and praised his culinary skills, which made him blush.

"Keeps him trim," I smiled. "He's good for me."

L.B. turned a shade of red. Over the past few months, I had learned to recognize certain facial cues to indicate when he felt deep appreciation. Gratitude from my parents was new to him. It made me question if his parents ever said anything to make him feel proud or when the last time that was.

My father had picked up a strawberry pie, my mom's favorite, from the best bakery in town. It was a chorus of "Mmm"s as we ate our way through it.

Mom liked her card and appreciated the gift card to get her nails done, as well as the chocolate caramels I had always known she loved. I was sure Penny's gift of jewelry cost more, but I was there in person, at least.

"Oh, Mitchy, while you are here, can you look at my computer. I don't know what it's doing."

"I need more to go on than that, Mom."

We walked into the home office, and I sat down.

"The icon for My documents just disappeared from the screen. It was always there. Where did it go?"

After a few curious explanations, I stopped rolling my eyes and began to deal with computer issues. I showed her where she could get to it easily, but then I assured her I would make the shortcut come back. She left me alone.

I could hear Mom ask Carter if he'd like some coffee. She said she was going to make herself a cup.

"Make a pot," I called out from the office. I heard them chuckle.

My father told us he was going to run an errand before they went to see my grandmother that evening.

As they waited for the coffee to brew, I felt sorry for L.B. trying to get a word in edge-wise.

Mom commented on how beautiful the flowers were. Again.
Mom said she was thrilled to see the Northern Lights.
Mom was worried that Dad's blood pressure had increased.
Mom told a story of the first time she got a box of chocolate caramels.
Mom shared the first time I fixed a meal on my own.

I couldn't see them, but I knew Carter had a patient smile on his face.

A minute later, I heard them talking about cream and sugar, so I knew the coffee was done. I heard the chairs from kitchen table move.

Mom lowered her voice, but I could still hear her. "Carter, I'm so grateful you and Mitchy found each other. I haven't seen him this happy in so long."

"That's nice," he said. "I love him very much."

"I know. And he loves you too. After everything with Cooper, I wasn't sure if he would ever find ... anyone. He was so depressed."

Swell. I didn't like being the topic of conversation.

"You've done a great job of raising him, ma'am. He's a wonderful man."

I smiled.

"Well, thank you. I'm his mom, but I think he's a nice boy too. And please, call me Glenda. No need to call me ma'am. Even Mom is okay."

I wasn't sure if Carter could do that. Cooper called her "Mom" all the time, but I wasn't sure if that was in his comfort zone. He was still hiding his tattoos from them behind long sleeves.

"I just want to say, thank you," she continued. "Thank you for loving my son. Thank you for making him happy again. I can just see it on him. It's obvious to me. You did that."

My eyes got a little misty listening to them.

"Well, he's done the same for me. I've never felt the way I do. Not with anyone else. He's amazing."

"Fuck," I muttered to myself. "I'm not amazing." And I once again worried he would figure that out one day.

Logan used to have me tell myself each night that I was worthy of being loved. And now I was. So why did I question it? Would cheating on Cooper haunt me until I was 90? I was anything but amazing.

"Well, as you know, I'm biased, but I think he is pretty special," Mom gushed.

"I agree. It's not just you."

"You're the amazing one, L.B.," I whispered to myself. "Thank you for seeing past my incompetence."

"I'm glad you two found each other," Mom told him. I wiped an eye before a tear formed.

"Me too. It's a shame our schedules don't allow us to spend more time together, but we seem to make it work."

"I noticed he calls you L.B. from time to time. Are these some kind of initials?"

Eeek. How is he going to field that question? Could he tell my mother that he was my love bartender?

"Not exactly. I never had a nickname growing up. He sort of has a pet name for me, and that's the initials of that."

"Oh. What is it?"

"It's too silly to share, but ... it means the world to me. Every time he calls me that, it's like receiving a love letter. I know ... it's silly, but I feel that way."

That was a good answer.

I left the office and walked to the kitchen. "Mom, can I show you a couple of things."

"Oh, sure."

She headed to the office. I stepped over to my boyfriend and kissed him. "I love you," I said. Then I kissed him again. Hard. "I love you very, very much." We looked into each other's eyes, which said it again. "Bring me a cup of coffee?"

I explained some things to Mom and what she shouldn't do, and how one of the menu items would get her to where she wanted to be in a certain program.

She had another question about her email.

L.B. brought me coffee and we continued to visit in the office.

When my father returned, he joined us with a mug. We wrapped up our visit. 

"Give my best to Grandma."

"We will. You could join us," Dad said.

"I know. But Carter and I have plans for the evening."

"And you two need to make the best use of the time you have together," Mom said.

At the door, Mom thanked us again for everything. L.B. shook Dad's hand. I gave him a hug. Mom hugged Carter first. 

"Happy Mother's Day ... Mom," he said. She gave him a huge smile. He kissed her on the cheek, which totally surprised me.

Mom and I told each other "Love you" in a following hug. And we were off.

"That was lovely," L.B. said from the passenger seat. "Just lovely."

"Thank you for being there with me."

"Your parents are really nice. They make me feel welcome."

"You love their son. How could they not?"

Carter turned to me. "Mitch." I could tell he was looking at me, and I turned to look. "I don't have that. You don't know how lucky you are."

"I'd like to meet your parents one day."

"I don't know about that. Mitch, they're not like yours. You don't know how nice you have it."

Cooper wasn't as close to his parents as me. Jakob got kicked out of the house as a teenager. I tossed around everyone's situation in my mind. I agreed that I was fortunate to have a good relationship with my parents.

I reached for his hand. We held hands all the way back to his house.

—

Late May

It was a Wednesday night.

"Are you sure you are okay being here?" I asked Cooper.

"I'm perfectly capable of being in a bar without having a drink," he reassured me.

L.B. was "okay" with me being at The Black Stallion, as long as I was with friends. The coffee group wanted to see him at work.

We took the closest table to the bar. It was too small for all of us, so we pulled a second one over.

L.B. didn't date customers or coworkers for multiple reasons. The most important one was if it didn't work out, it threw off the previous work/customer relationship. But if it was working out, he knew he couldn't devote the time to dawdle on a boyfriend all night. I would never have expected that. I had seen him work for months. I knew his attention was always divided among customers. Because I was with friends, I guess that concern was alleviated.

Cooper and Larry arrived with me. Don and Emory arrived ten minutes later. Logan was invited to join us too. When he arrived, I made sure to introduce everyone he didn't know.

"I've missed being here," I told the table. "I came every week after my sessions with you," I noted, looking at Logan.

"Well, I'm glad your sessions with me led you to true love," my friend and therapist said.

"You did a lot more for me than that." I was sitting next to him and kissed his cheek.

Layton brought our drinks. "It is so nice to see you," he said. He gave me a brief kiss on the lips.

"Oh. I guess we're friends who kiss." I saw him wink. "And, yes, I have missed you too."

After he walked away, Logan asked if it was weird to see him.

"Not tooooo bad. I mean, I dated him first. I AM dating his coworker and best friend. So ... kind of. But I always liked Layton. He's a good guy."

Just as we did with coffee, we made conversation easily. Logan chimed in when he could. He whispered to me how proud he was that Larry and I got along. I told him that he was a good friend and a very nice man. Logan was impressed with me.

Not too much later, Carter managed to break away from the bar and stop by for a minute. He had already met everyone before at some point, so there was no reason for introductions.

"Are you guys good?" he asked. "Yeah. We'll get a second round in a while. We're fine for now. Thanks for stopping by."

"You look very skilled behind the bar," Emory said.

"And handsome," added Don.

"Compliments don't get you free drinks," L.B. said with a wink. "But I'll see what I can do."

"Business looks good for a Wednesday night."

"I think so too. I heard a few people talk about a conference. Not sure where it is being held. I am sure family is statistically represented at any conference."

"Well, maybe not Southern Baptists," Logan said.

"Don't be so sure," Cooper said, which was a good joke for Cooper.

Everyone laughed. It was all in Cooper's delivery.

"I'll try to stop over when I can," L.B. said. "But ... I'm tied up for a bit. It is nice to see all of you though."

We kissed. "Love you, L.B."

"Love you too, Sweetie."

He started to return to the bar.

"Oooo, Sweetie," Emory mocked.

Carter stopped and turned. "Oops. Sorry, Mitch."

I rolled my eyes.

"Okay," I said to Emory. "Let me have it."

"It's sweet," Don said. "But I am rather curious as to why you call him L.B."

"Me too," Larry chimed in.

"It's probably something super perverted like ... long ... bat," Emory said.

"Lord no. It's just a nickname we have."

"You know if you don't tell them, it is going to nag at them," Logan said.

"It's really silly. If you heard, you'd roll your eyes and say `That's it?' Trust me."

Everyone at the table stared silently.

"Okay, fine. You know he doesn't like to date customers or coworkers, so when I said I missed coming to the bar, he said he missed being my bartender. I told him he was now my love bartender. That's it."

"Oh," they all said.

"You're right," Logan said. "That was sort of a letdown."

Everyone laughed again.

I glanced over at my lover. He was so handsome in his white bartender shirt.

"I love how you look at him," Cooper said. "You two have such a great connection. It's so obvious."

"His eyes are ... mesmerizing. It's like they talk to me without him saying any words."

"That's real love," Don said.

"Yeah. It is," I said smiling.

Lorenzo came in and saw me. "Well, hey, stranger. It's nice to see you."

"Thanks, Lorenzo. How have you been?"

"The same."

I introduced everyone. "Would you like to join us. We can probably squeeze in another stool."

"They are all taken, but you all are squeezed into these tables as it is. But thanks for the offer." Lorenzo hugged me and found a seat at the bar.

"Hmm. I don't remember him in the book," Logan said. "A later conquest?"

"Him? Nooo. Oh no. Well, he could have potentially been one, but he is afraid to come out, and I'm not at a point in my life where I need to go through that again."

"Like with me?" Cooper said.

"I didn't mean it that way, but ... I suppose."

"I don't know," Emory said. "There was something between you two."

"No there isn't. Okay, one night we kissed months ago. Sure, he wants to bone me, but only if it is at my place. Not his, no affection in public ... I just wish he would be himself. Maybe one day."

"Everyone in their own time," Don said.

I saw Layton hand someone their card back. "Hm."

Logan looked. "What?"

"I just realized that I have slept with four people in this bar." I looked at my friends. "Now I feel slutty."

They laughed.

"I'm sure there are several people in here that have slept with way more people in here than that. It's a gay bar, Mitchell," Logan said. "And if any of you are wondering who the fourth is, Mitchell and I were a thing in our younger days."

"And everything is good on the home front?" I softly asked him.

Logan nodded. He stared long at me.

"You look good, Mitch. You look happy. I can tell a difference since our sessions."

"I'm in love. I guess that accounts for a lot of it."

We didn't stay late, but we stayed long enough for Cooper to get excited about doing some line dancing. During our years, Cooper never did that, so he had changed now that he was partnered with Larry, although he got out there by himself.

L.B. stopped by a couple more times. It was just a nice night out with friends. I had a nice support system. They were almost like family.

—

"I love that Memorial Day weekend gives us more time together," L.B. said as I fumbled through the mail.

"For sure. Even better, I'm glad we aren't traveling anywhere. The roads are packed. Everywhere is busy."

In the course of my life, I felt mail had become less and less important. I had become lazy and let it stack up for a few days at a time.

"Bills, bills, bills. Ugh. My lease is due next month. I'm not sure I'll ever get a house. Ooo, a coupon for Caramel Moo. We could do sundaes on Sunday."

"Yum," Carter said. "We'll justify it by a jog."

"I always looked forward to Memorial Day weekend and the end of school growing up," I said. "Now it's just a three-day weekend to me."

"Remember me telling you about that camping trip with the boy? The bubble bath and all that? First week of summer."

"First week of summer, first bubble bath, first blowjob. That was quite a week of firsts."

"You could say that, I guess. I managed to have some happy times that last year at home. A few weeks later, he stayed with relatives for a month during the summer. We never really hooked up again. I think we managed four or five blowjobs, and then ... poof."

"Did you like him?"

"Yeah. I did. I think he liked me, but he was much more nervous about the whole gay thing. Maybe going away was an escape for him."

"Teenage years really suck in a lot of ways. So many questions."

"Yeah. I knew three whole gay kids in school. I kept feeling negative toward my father, and I knew he did of me. Rocky and I started talking about running off and starting life for ourselves in Chicago. We were so clueless. We could have gotten there and found there was no place for us to live. It was so crazy. At the time, I didn't think of us as runaways at all, but I almost see it that way now."

"I'm sorry you had to go through all that."

L.B. was quieter than usual after that. For the rest of the day, he didn't seem himself.

Lunch at Jake's was fine. But he was still quieter. He asked me if I would be interested in going to the parade on Monday. Once we had that planned, he was quiet again. Carter headed back to his place earlier than he needed to before the Saturday shift.

I could feel something was off.

I told him I would be waiting for him in bed when he got home.

When I arrived at his house at 8, Fletcher was pleased to see me. We spent some time together and he was eager to go outside for a walk. The temperature was perfect, and I celebrated the arrival of summer.

An SNL rerun made me stay up until 11:30, but then I turned in.

—

I felt Carter move next to me. I tilted my head to look at the clock. It was 2:48. I knew he hadn't showered. I didn't mind how he smelled when he got home, so I rolled over and held him. We gave a simple kiss.

Usually, I would fall back asleep. Carter still seemed "off." He wasn't trying to sleep.

After about fifteen minutes, neither of us were sleeping. "What's wrong?" I mumbled. "You aren't falling asleep."

He sat up and reached for the lamp. Turning on the light, his body then rotated toward me.

"I think we should talk."

* * * *

Okay, head's up. One chapter remains.

Please go to timothylane414stories.blogspot.com for a new post called "L.B. — Q & A"

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