Say Goodbye to Sparkleland Chapter 16
Behold. Of my eight books (so far), this is the shortest chapter I've ever written. And it even turned out longer than I had expected. Still, it tells this part of the story.
16
"Welcome back, Mitchell. How was your week?" Logan asked.
"Good, actually."
"Glad to hear. What has put you in a good mood?"
"I think the sessions are helping."
"I'm pleased you think so. We haven't gotten to Cooper yet, but I feel you are digging deep, finding things out about you."
"I agree. I'm learning more about me that I haven't really thought about — not at this level — in the past."
"That's good. We are making progress." Logan reached for his pad. "Shall we begin?"
"Sure. After some of our sessions, I've reconnected to several of the people in my past. Cruz and I have talked a few times. I checked in with Arlo. After last week's session, I reached out to Kenneth. I'm meeting him and his husband after this session. Well, later tonight at The Black Stallion."
"Nice. I so really need to get out more. Nate and I haven't been dancing in years."
"Join us."
"Not tonight. He has a big dinner at home planned."
"Perhaps another time."
"Perhaps. Tell me of your next person."
I reached for the book.
"No. 16. Dave Overland. Three inches soft, six inches hard. Cut. No pre-cum. Playful balls. And the words following that are: Worst. Sex. Ever."
"Goodness. I'm afraid to ask."
"Dave was a friend at work. In fact, he was the first gay person I met at the firm. Once we were out to each other, we would share a lunch here and there, usually at the office. We were casual friends. He was nice. We really enjoyed each other's company. Whenever a gay movie would roll around, we'd go to a film together every now and then."
"Okay. Nice."
"He really was. I can't say there was a huge attraction on my end, but I could tell he was sort of flirty with me."
"Not an attraction? What changed?"
"I'm not sure. I found myself enjoying time with him. I thought maybe the old mode of thinking that it's what's inside a person that counts had some merit."
"True."
"He had asked me out once, but I told him that I didn't think dating at work was a good idea."
"Was there a company policy?"
"Not that I know of. I mean ... Cooper. Duh."
"Right. Right."
"But we were friends for weeks and months. I liked spending time with him; we were just good friends. In retrospect, we should have just left it at that."
"Nothing ventured, nothing gained."
"Yeah. But. Once we had sex, I wanted to go back to just being friends. And ... well, sex changes things."
"It very well can."
"We'd been friends for months and months, and all of that was great. I really did have fun with him."
"But ... not drawn to him."
"Right. But he asked me out again. He kissed me in the break room, and said he'd like to take me out. Over dinner, he told me how wonderful he thought I was and handsome I was and that I was the type of person he was looking for. It was all very nice."
"But you weren't exactly feeling the same things; am I correct?"
"Right. He was NICE. I just enjoyed being friends with him. I should have known taking it further would change it all. But I think something in me thought maybe, just maybe, I'd find the special someone in my life."
"You wanted to find love."
"I did. I was moving on from my mid-20s to my late 20s. I guess I figured it was time to ... not necessarily settle down, but ... try to find something more meaningful."
"I don't really remember you mentioning Dave to me."
"It was very brief — from a sexual encounter standpoint. Over dinner, he asked me if I would stay over at his condo over the weekend. I agreed to come over Saturday night. His words were that he `wanted to show me how much he really thought of me.'"
Logan jotted something down.
"It was February. Even though I hadn't seriously thought about sex with Dave, now that it was on the table, I tried to look forward to it. He was nice. And I hadn't had sex in months, so ... I just felt I should roll with it and enjoy the sex."
"Tell me how you felt when you got there. So far, you've told me of random hookups and people you deeply cared for. This is sort of in between."
"Like Kenneth, but I was attracted to Kenneth. I tried thinking of what we might do ... together ... that night. I wanted to get into it. I owed Dave that.
"When I got to his driveway ... ," I continued. "... he had told me there was a common door that four condos shared. He stepped out on a balcony of his condo to say hi. He threw the keys down. I missed them, and they landed in the snow. I was a bit perturbed that he just didn't walk downstairs and let me in. It had snowed a few inches the day before. The streets were clear, but there were two or three inches of snow by his walk. I dug the keys out; they were covered in snow. Then I walked up to his condo."
"Curious."
"Yeah. When I unlocked his door, he met me with a kiss. We hadn't really kissed much other than a goodnight kiss on our date. This was more ... forceful. It was much more of a passionate kiss. It didn't seem right for where we `were at.'" I used finger quotes. "But again, everything was nice."
"I can tell you weren't feeling it."
"I wasn't. Maybe I didn't want to hurt his feelings; maybe I thought it would just hit me at some point and I'd be into it."
"I'm sure you didn't jump immediately into bed."
"No. It was around 3. We sat and watched a movie on his couch. I kind of pride myself on keeping a clean place. I suppose everyone has some clutter somewhere — a drawer, a desk, a spare room. Dave had piles. Some areas were very clean and organized, and other areas in the living room and kitchen and bedroom just had piles of stuff."
"That bothered you?"
"No ... Yeah ... No. I wasn't all judgmental or anything, I just noticed. It just didn't make me drawn to him any further. Had I been wowed by a sense of style or even his use of color or something — I think I was just looking for something to win me over. I couldn't see the two of us as a couple."
"Piles of clutter aren't captivating?" Logan sarcastically said.
"Hardly. I felt BAD. I felt I was judging him, trying to make him something he's not. Remember Brock, the movie rental guy? I was feeling like that. I felt like it was something trivial, but Dave was a good friend. I was very conflicted. I liked Dave, I did."
"So how was this `date.' Was it good?"
"It was sweet. Dave tried very hard to make me like him. We pulled up a movie. Netflix was the big thing then. I can't even remember what we watched. Yeah, I do. We started Game of Thrones. Maybe he thought that was a way to hook me." I chuckled to myself. "He handed me a beer as we sat on the couch. He snuggled up next to me. I could have put my arm around him, but I wasn't feeling it. I'm sure at the time, Dave thought I was probably pretty cold, like he had to break through a wall. I was not snuggly. He'd rest his arm on my leg, rubbing the back of a finger up and down my thigh, sometimes roaming to my crotch.
"Dinner was really good. He made a pasta dish with shrimp that was great. I think I remembered that the most out of the night."
Logan snickered.
"Dave suggested we move to the bed fairly early that night. About 9 he took my wrist and led me to his bedroom. He lit a candle, but he turned on the TV to watch something in there. He undressed down to his underwear and pulled back the sheets. He tucked his feet under them, but then started changing channels with the remote."
"Sooo ... it wasn't a fast dive into sex. It was TV time."
"I guess. It was just ... not how I would do things. Not that it was wrong. Had the whole night been one I would spend with Cooper, it'd be perfectly fine. It just didn't feel like where we were at. It had a real `couple' feel, but we weren't a couple."
"But it sounds like he wanted to be."
"Yes. It was all about comfortable."
"What do you mean?"
"As we watched TV, his hand would graze my leg. It would roam around my navel. It would squeeze my cock through my boxers. He'd say, `Do you like that?' or `Do you like me doing that?' He eventually slid his hand in my underwear and felt me. I wasn't hard, exactly ... but a hand on your dick gets some reaction. `Does that feel good?' It seemed like every movement and every gesture came with a question. `Are you comfortable?' `Is this cozy?' It – it – it was noticeable."
"Did you say anything about it?"
"No. I didn't want to come off as ... unkind. I tried to go along with it. Eventually, he turned off the television. He leaned over and kissed me. He reached down and pulled my underwear off. `Do you like me taking this off?' I didn't even answer. `Do you want to make me naked?' I just pulled off his briefs."
"Hm."
"Then we sort of got into it, so to speak. Kissing, touching, feeling. But no matter what we were doing, it became a litany of questions:
`Are you comfortable?'
`Do you like me touching you there?'
`Does that feel good?'
`Do you like sucking my cock?'
`Are you comfortable?'
`Do you like me touching your ass?'
`Do you want my balls in your mouth?'
`Does that please you?'
`Can you lick my cock?'
`Is this comfortable?'
`Do you like how I touch you there?'
`Do you want to call me baby?'
`Do you want to lick my cum?'
`Are you comfortable?'
"It was like being on a freakin' game show!!"
Logan laughed hysterically. "I'm sorry. That's not very professional of me. Forgive me." Then he laughed some more.
"I was NOT comfortable. I just wanted to shout: `Shut the fuck up!' And then when he came, he yelled out, `Mitchell! Oh, baby, you're going to make me come!!' and I knew the neighbors in the adjacent condos could hear. I hate that. I don't like being loud to where others can hear. I'm ... I'm just not loud. Or I wasn't. Then."
"Wish to clarify?"
"No. Cooper got me out of my shell, but ... never mind."
"So, back to Dave," Logan said, not being able to conceal a smile.
"Sex lasted about thirty minutes. He didn't rush, but after 21 Questions, I just needed it to be done. I jerked myself off so hard, I'm surprised my dick didn't come off and I had to Superglue it back on. I was tired of taking a quiz."
Logan howled again. "Sorry." He squeezed his lips between his teeth trying not to laugh.
"Dave asked if I wanted to go again about fifteen minutes later. I told him I was fine. I couldn't even remotely fathom going through it again. He curled up next to me, holding me, and he fell asleep first."
"Sadly, it all sounds very caring, but ..." Logan said.
"It does. It was caring in its own infuriatingly annoying way. But as he slept, he dug his toenails into my feet."
"Ow."
"And he talked in his sleep. At first, I thought he was trying to tell me something, but I quickly realized he was talking about something in a dream. Dave and I had zero chance."
"Did you tell him that?"
"The next day, he kissed me goodbye after breakfast — I told him I needed to get some things done — and he said he'd see me at work. He called me, `babe.' I drove home in a daze. He was my friend. I liked his company. But now I didn't want to see him again. I hated that we ... that we tried to make it more than what it was."
"So, then what happened?"
"At work that Monday, I told him I thought we should just remain friends. I could tell he was very disappointed. For a while, we didn't talk. I felt bad. Really bad. After a couple of weeks, I made an effort to have lunch or go for coffee or ... stop by his office for a quick chat. But we weren't the same. The friendship had changed it. Sex changed everything."
"It's unfortunate. It does."
"In a way, I miss him. He's no longer at the firm."
"Did you stay in touch?"
"No. I thought I'd let him do that. I guess he didn't want to."
"Phones work both ways."
"I suppose. I just hated that it all changed."
"If sex hadn't been a part of it, could you picture yourself with him? He seems kind."
"I don't think so. Sex or no sex, there needs to be chemistry. But, I'll admit, sex is a big part of a relationship for me."
"Let's dig there. Let's say Cooper decided he wanted you back, would you be interested?"
"In a heartbeat."
"Okay, then let's pretend he said he was in an accident or had a medical condition and was no longer capable of having sex. Would he still be the love of your life?"
Wham!!! What a question. I didn't have an immediate answer. I thought I would have to think about it.
"I don't know. I want to say, `yes,' but ... I don't know, Logan."
"I want you to think on that tonight."
"Goodie. Homework," I mumbled.
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Email: timothylane414@gmail.com