Saving Jordan: 1
The winds whipping down Michigan Avenue made even the short walk from the Sweetwater Tavern and Grille to the Mila Apartment building a body numbing trek. Peter Jenke's lean, athletic, 5'10", 150 pound body might catch the eye of men in the locker room at Lakeshore Fitness, but it was no match for a Chicago Winter. The holiday decorations reminded Peter that he needed to finish his Christmas shopping. He smiled and wondered what people did in the days before Amazon. Although he lived just down the street from one of the world's premier shopping districts, he wouldn't be going home for Christmas and it just seemed easier to shop online and let UPS play Santa.
This would be the first Christmas Peter could remember he would not spend with family in Dallas, Texas. Peter's father was a Major in the U.S. Army and he was killed in action when Peter was only nine. The circumstances of his death still remained classified fifteen years later. Then just the previous summer Audry Jenke, Peter's mother, lost her battle with breast cancer. While he still had a brother and sister living in Dallas, Peter was not especially close to them. It wasn't any form of estrangement, it was just that they were fifteen and thirteen years older than him. All the years growing up, Peter's nickname was Hap. It wasn't until his freshman year in high school that he learned it was short for Mishap.
As Peter was nearing the door to the Mila he noticed the doorman was chasing a vagrant away from the building. The sight of a homeless person trying to stay warm alway tugged at Peter's heart. He was a generous financial supporter of a couple of Chicago's homeless shelters and often volunteered at one run by Urban Ministries. In fact, that is where he would be spending Christmas Day, helping make dinner for Chicago's forgotten souls.
There was something familiar about the man getting the bum's rush, so as to not disturb the conscience of the good people in this season of giving. For one thing, he was younger than most men living on the street and he lacked the weathered hardness that comes from years of struggling for survival. Then Peter saw it; he was wearing a Dearborn Academy letter jacket. Peter's first, and only, year of teaching high school English was at the Dearborn Academy. Then it hit him; second row, third seat back--this was Jordan Allison, and Peter hated him. Jordan was one of the Cavalier Lax Rats, the hard core lacrosse players at Dearborn Acadamy. The Lax Rats were entitled assholes who bullied and tormented anyone they deemed as unworthy of sharing the same air they breathed.
It was the Lax Rats who were responsible for prematurely ending Peter's teaching career. Peter had attended Northwestern with an older brother of one of the Lax Rats and he shared with the rats that Peter was gay. Peter's torment began when a lavender pansy plant was delivered to the classroom with a card that simple said, "fag." From there it escalated to "cock sucker" disguised as a cough as he walked down the hall, a penis shaped dildo glued to his desk chair, a web posting of his head photoshopped to a gay porn star, and a fake dating profile titled "Bad Boy Needs A Daddy." By Spring Break, Peter had decided to find a different school for the next year, but it still hurt when the headmaster told Peter he would not be renewed at the end of the school year.
Peter remembered the day he was let go like it was yesterday. It was a Friday, because teachers are always fired on Fridays so they have the weekend to pull themselves together. That way they won't upset the students by letting on just how badly they were just fucked by the administration. Peter picked up a pizza and then stopped by the local convenience store for a case of cheap beer. It was his intent to spend the weekend drunk and then use the remainder of his sick leave the next week to recover. Peter still can't remember why he did it because gambling wasn't something that ever interested him, but he decided to use the change left from buying the beer to purchase a lottery ticket. When he finally recovered from a weekend of self-pity and drinking, Peter checked his lottery ticket and discovered that he was America's newest multi-millionaire.
Once over the shock, and after verifying that he had indeed won the lottery, Peter sat down and wrote a very professional fuck you and the horse you rode in on letter to the headmaster of the Dearborn Academy and its Board of Trustees. He then terminated his lease on the crappy studio apartment he was renting and moved into a two-bedroom luxury apartment on the 20th floor of the Mila: the building from which Jordan Allison, Lax Ass, was now being expelled.
Just as Peter was relishing the sight of his former tormentor's fall from penthouse to gutter, a cold blast of Canadian air cut through him and he remembered the forecast for near record cold and five to six inches of new snow. "Shit," said Peter, and he ran up to Frank the doorman. "Hey Frank, hold up a minute." Then he turned to the shivering bum, "Jordan Allison, what are you doing out here?"
Jordan finally recognized Peter. "Mr. Jenke, I don't have any place to go. I...I..." Jordan began to cry and the tears froze to his cheeks. Peter looked at Frank and said, "Jordan is going to stay with me for a few days. Can you put him on the guest registry."
"Are you sure Mr. Jenke," asked the skeptical doorman.
"Yeah, I couldn't leave my worst enemy out in this weather....Let's go Jordan, we need to get you warm."
The ride up the elevator was in silence. Jordan kept his head down and didn't look at Peter. Peter tried to remember what he had read about the collapse of Allison Investments. He remembered a picture of Jordan's father, Case Allison, being led away in handcuffs. He also recalled that he was accused of stealing money from his clients accounts and federal investigators seized the assets of Case Allison and his investment firm.
Once in the apartment, Peter ran a warm bath for Jordan. "I'm going to throw your clothes in the wash. You need to just sit in the bath and warm up." When Peter returned to the bathroom, he was carrying sweatpants and a sweatshirt. He also had a cup of hot chocolate. "Here drink this, It will help warm you up. I will be back in a minute."
When Peter returned he asked, "How long have you been outside?" "Spent last night in a shelter," Jordan said. "Didn't like it, so I was looking for someplace else for tonight."
"Okay, I want to check you for signs of frostbite. Please look at me Jordan." Peter examined Jordan's earlobes, nose, chin, and cheeks. "Well, I don't see any signs of frostbite on your face. The Mayo Clinic's website said those were likely areas for frostbite. Now hold out your hands so I can look at your fingers.....Now your toes.....They look okay as well. When was the last time you had a meal?"
"Yesterday evening at the shelter," Jordan said in a barely audible voice.
"I put a towel on the vanity next to the sweats. When you are warm and clean, come to the kitchen. I am going to make you something to eat. Do you like tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches?"
Jordan nodded his head.
After a bit Jordan came to the kitchen and Peter served him supper. Jordan still didn't say anything and rarely looked up. This was not the leader of the Lax Rats. He was no longer the cocky rich kid who made Dearborn Academy a bitter memory for Peter. Now what Peter saw was a scared kid in desperate need of a friend. Damn, thought Peter, I don't want to feel sorry for this kid; I want to hate him; I want him to hurt like he hurt me, and who knows how many others."
Jordan must have been starving. He never asked for more food, but each bowl of soup or each sandwich put in front of him he ate. Peter knew when Jordan was finally full because his eyes drooped with sleep. Peter led Jordan to the guest room and told Jordan to slip under the blankets. The minute his head hit the pillow, Jordan was asleep.
Peter went back to the kitchen and put the dishes in the dishwasher. Then, he grabbed a beer and turned on the TV to catch the evening news. The lead story was the weather. The meteorologist said to expect near record cold and snow fall. A news reporter gave warnings about making sure pets were safe from the cold. Another report said that the city's shelters were full and emergency shelters were being opened. She also said that three homeless men had been found dead as the result of exposure to cold.
Peter said to himself, "What else could I do?"
Saving Jordan: 2
The next morning Jordan walked out of the guest bedroom, but this was not the cocky, self-confident Jordan that Peter knew at the Dearborn Academy. Jordan was skittish and wary like a dog that had been kicked and beaten. He avoided direct eye contact, and he no longer had the posture of an alpha male. Now he presented the image of the animal hanging on the outskirts of the pack longing, hoping to be admitted to the group.
"Are you hungry Jordan? I can fix you some sausage and eggs."
Jordan nodded.
"Have a seat at the bar. I'll get you some orange juice and coffee."
Jordan accepted the juice and coffee and slowly drank them while Peter fried up the sausage and eggs. Jordan was wearing the sweats Peter had given him the night before. Peter said, "Your clothes are in the dryer. Do you have anything else that needs to be washed?"
Jordan shook his head and Peter noticed a tear in the corner of his eye.
"Jordan, do you have any more clothes?"
Jordan shook his head and quietly said, "Some guys took them."
"Oh."
When Peter put the food in front of Jordan, he ate it slowly as if doing so would keep him fed longer. Several times Peter attempted to engage Jordan in conversation, but at most Jordan would respond with two or three words. Eventually, Peter decided to let Jordan eat in silence.
Peter went to the laundry and got Jordan's clothes. Jordan took them and said, "Thank you for washing them and for the food and bed, I'll get dressed and leave."
"No you won't. It's forecast to be killer cold for the next few days. You can stay here for a while."
Suddenly Jordan dropped to his knees and began unbuckling Peter's belt. Peter was caught totally off guard. "No, Jordan!" Peter said as he pulled Jordan to his feet.
"But Mr. Jenke, I don't have any money. I can't pay you."
"Jordan, you don't have to pay me. You're my guest."
Jordan now began to sob uncontrollably. Peter didn't know what to do, so he finally wrapped his arms around Jordan and gently rubbed his back. Jordan put his head on Peter's shoulder and soon Peter's t-shirt was tear soaked.
Finally, Peter was able to get Jordan to the living room couch and to lay down. He covered Jordan with a blanket and turned the TV to ESPN, not sure what exactly would calm Jordan down. He then went back into the kitchen to try to sort out what to do now.
Peter picked up Jordan's clothes from the floor and began to fold them. As he was folding them, Peter remembered what Jordan said about his clothes being stolen. Peter looked at the clothes and found the sizes.
Peter walked into his bedroom and found Martin Jackson in his contact list. Peter had dated Martin a couple of times; however, the two really weren't right together, none-the-less they still remained friends. Peter dialed Martin's number. Martin answered, "Hey Petie, how's it hanging?"
"To the left and halfway to the knee."
"That's my Petie, always selling himself short."
After Peter stopped laughing, he said, "I have a kid staying with me for a few days and his luggage seems to have been lost. Do you think you can do some shopping for him?"
"I don't know, it's Christmas, the stores are crowded, and it's cold enough to freeze a guy's cock right off."
"I see, you're in need of some extra motivation to venture out into the Arctic blast. How about I double your fee?"
"I don't know Petie. I was just thinking about curling up with a good book and a cup of cocoa."
Peter laughed, "Okay Martin, what's it going to take?"
"My regular fee, and you come to my New Year's Eve party. It will be the best in Chicago. You've been a hermit since you and Todd split. So you are going to make a New Year's resolution to get back in the game, and it starts with my party."
"Okay, I'll come to your party, so will you get your ass to the stores and do what you do."
After telling Martin Jordan's sizes, Martin asked, "What does he look like?"
"I don't know, he looks like a kid. He used to play lacrosse so he's built fairly well. Right now he just looks sad and lost. He has red hair and needs a haircut now, but he used to have what I would call a Joseph Kennedy III kind of look."
"Finally, something I can work with," said Martin."So what does he need?"
"Everything."
"Petie, did you take in a stray?"
"Maybe," said Peter sheepishly.
"Didn't your momma warn you that strays are unpredictable and you can wind up getting bit."
"I know, but.."
"... but it's too cold to leave a dog or a boy on the street. I'm just warning you to be careful Petie."
"I know... I know."
After getting off the phone with Martin, Peter went to check on Jordan. He was watching a basketball game between two D2 schools. Peter sat down in a chair and asked Jordan to turn the TV off so they could talk.
"Okay Jordan, I have a friend who is getting you some clothes and he will be dropping them by this afternoon. They are a gift from me. You are not going to be paying for them with money or anything else. Are we clear about that?"
Jordan nodded.
"Also, if you are hungry and want a snack or a soda, please help yourself. Please feel free to watch TV, read the paper, or play my video games. Also, the shower in the master bedroom is much nicer than the tub shower in the guest bathroom. You are free to use it, but just knock before entering. You are my guest. Are we clear that you are a guest?"
Jordan again nodded.
"Do you have any questions Jordan?"
"Why?"
"What do you mean, why?"
"Why are you being nice to me Mr. Jenke? I treated you badly. I was part of the reason you lost your teaching job. Why don't you hate me?"
"Who says I don't hate you?" Jordan didn't know how to react to what Peter just said. "Look Jordan, what you and the Lax Rats put me through still hurts. It hurts when people mistreat you for something you didn't choose. Don't get me wrong, I am okay with being gay. Being with a man makes me happy, but no one at birth says I think I will choose to be gay. No one says hey I think putting up with intolerance and bigotry will be a good time."
"Some people might look at me and say things turned out alright for you, why are you bitter. The truth is I got unbelievably lucky. Literally, I got lucky; who the hell buys a winning lottery ticket the same day he was fired. The truth is I was facing finding another job. Who knows if I would have even been able to land a teaching job if people learned I was fired, or worse if the word got around that I was fired because I was gay."
"But the worst was having to walk into class everyday knowing I would be subjected to disrespect and ridicule because of who I am. I would sometimes go home and just sit on my couch and cry. Then I would feel worse because kids could make me cry."
"I don't know if I will ever stop hating the Lax Rats for that year from hell. But I also knew I would hate myself if I didn't help you last night. If you had frozen to death or just disappeared without a trace, I would have been responsible because I could have intervened, I could have changed things."
"Look Jordan, I don't know why I won the lottery that night. I don't know why I was getting home last night just as you were being sent out into the cold. It may be fate; it may be a divine test; it may just be coincidence, but what I do know is that something tells me that I can't abandon you even if I hate you."
Phone rang and Frank asked Peter if he was expecting a Mr. Jackson.
"Yes Frank, send Martin up."
There was a knock on the door and Martin walked in with his hands full of sacks. "I don't think Frank likes me," said Martin.
"Well when you cheat on him with his twin brother, I can see why he is a little put off."
"I just thought that twins share everything."
"Apparently not." Then Peter turned to Jordan, "Take the sack to the guest bedroom and try the shirts, pants and shoes on.----Martin, did you get Jordan a heavy coat and gloves?"
"I will bring that tomorrow. I couldn't carry everything."
"Also Jordan, if there is anything you don't like, Martin will exchange it for something else. Now go try that stuff on."
When Jordan left, Peter got Martin a cup of coffee to help warm him.
"So Petie, is he your little boy toy?"
"Hardly, he was one of my students at Dearborn Academy."
"Wow, from what you told me about that experience, I am surprised you didn't sic Frank on him."
"Actually," Pete softly said, "I stopped Frank from kicking him to the curb."
"Why?"
"Come on Martin, you were just out there. Could you send your worst enemy out into that at night."
"Yep, in a heartbeat. Of course, when they gave me a double helping of style it left no room for a conscience. That's your problem Petie, you always have to do the right thing."
Peter and Martin chatted for twenty minutes about nothing in particular. Finally Peter said, "What's taking so long to try on those clothes." Peter and Martin walked to the guest bedroom and Peter knocked on the door. When there was no answer Peter slowly opened the door. What they saw was Jordan completely naked, lying in a fetal position and crying. Surrounding him were his new clothes.
Martin said, "Petie be careful. I think he is hurt worse than anyone knows. I am going; but if you need to talk, give me a call."
Saving Jordan: 3
"Here, let's get you under the covers," Peter said softly to Jordan. As Peter cleared the clothes from the bed and pulled back the quilt, Jordan stood with his arms crossed while his naked athletic body shivered. Once Jordan was under the covers, Peter asked Jordan if he was cold. Jordan shook his head. Peter said, "I'm going to touch your forehead to check for a fever." When Peter did, Jordan stiffened momentarily, then relaxed. Peter left his hand longer than necessary to check how Jordan would respond. Jordan stopped shivering and let his head settle into the pillow.
Peter picked up the clothes that were now lying on the floor, folded them, and put them in the dresser drawers. After straightening up, Peter started to leave. "Can you stay with me for a little while?" Jordan asked so quietly Peter almost didn't hear it. Peter kicked off his shoes and lay down on top of the covers. Peter just lay there wondering what he had gotten himself into and what he was going to do next.
"Mr. Jenke?" Jordan said, his voice was meek and unsure.
"Yes Jordan."
"I am so sorry."
"I know you are. Will you be okay if I go to the other room and make a phone call?"
"I think so, Mr. Jenke."
As Peter left the room, he turned off the lights. When the door closed, Peter leaned against it and softly muttered, "Oh, shit." He then called a friend, Dr. Daniel Sprecht. Daniel and his partner Steven Webber had a private practice that focused on serving the gay community. Steven was a Psychiatric Mental Health Nurse Practitioner and the two of them had been partners at home and in the office for over twenty years. In addition to being Peter's doctor, Daniel volunteered at several homeless shelters in Chicago.
"Hey Peter, what up?" Peter was a financial supporter of Daniel's and Steven's work with the homeless and as a result had become friends.
"I need some advice from a mature friend." Peter told Daniel about Jordan, a bit about their history, and what he suspected Jordan was doing to survive. "So Daniel, I think I'm in over my head. What should I do?"
"Do you think you can get him to come to the office tomorrow? I think the first thing to do is a thorough physical."
"I'll try."
"If he says yes, just bring him. If we set up an appointment and he thinks about it too much, he may back out."
"Okay."
"Also, Steven specializes in helping young men dealing with the sort of trauma you are describing Jordan may be experiencing. Peter, I have to ask, are you committing to helping this boy over the long term or just until the weather gets warmer?"
"I don't know. I am so conflicted. That's why I'm asking you for help."
"I think that regardless of how this turns out, you need to talk to Steven. You're already invested in this boy and you will have to deal with your emotions before this is over."
"I know you're right," Peter said, "but I can't think about it right now."
The next morning Martin brought a winter coat, a pair of gloves, a cap and a scarf. Peter noticed the clothes were from REI. Martin whispered in Peter's ear, "Just in the off chance you come to your senses, the coat is warm, tough and waterproof. In case you don't come to your senses, you can bring your puppy to my New Year's Eve party."
Peter smiled and said, "Martin, you're the best."
"I know it, too bad you didn't see that a year and a half ago."
"Come on Martin, you know we would have never worked out."
"Yeah, but did your rebound have to be that asshole Todd Moore, or should I say Todd Moron, or better yet Todd More douchey than Lindsey Graham."
Peter laughed.
"So Jordan, did you like the clothes? Are there any I need to exchange?"
"They were all very nice. Thank you sir."
"Very nice," Martin said with a mock huff in his voice. "Son you damn my style with faint praise. I was expecting a: wow, they're so hot, or at least a "they're cool dude."
Martin's drama show caused Jordan to smile for the first time since Peter had invited him to stay. Martin said, "Well I'm off. The two weeks before Christmas are the second busiest time of the year."
"What's the busiest time," Peter asked.
"The two week after Christmas when I return all the dumb shit people got and get them what they really wanted."
Jordan sat at the kitchen bar while Peter fixed breakfast. "Jordan," Peter said, "I have a friend who is a doctor. He and his partner have a private clinic. I would like him to give you a physical exam. Would you be willing to do that?"
Jordan looked down at the plate of pancakes and sausages Peter had set in front of him. After a bit he nodded yes.
At Dr. Sprecht's office, Peter went to the reception desk and said, "My name is Peter Jenke."
"Oh yes," the receptionist said, "Dr. Sprecht said you might be coming in today with a friend. He asked that you and your friend be placed in the conference room while you fill out the medical history and consent forms."
"I will be paying for the exam today." Peter said as he handed over a credit card.
When Jordan and Peter were shown into the conference room, a nurse came in and said, "I'm Dr. Sprecht's nurse Matthew. Is it alright if I draw some blood?" Jordan nodded and held out his arm for Matthew. When Matthew was finished, Peter helped Jordan complete as much of the health history as he could remember.
After a bit Dr. Sprecht came into the conference room and introduced himself then said, "Jordan let me explain what is going to happen today. In a little while we will go into one of the exam rooms and Matthew will join us. The exam I will be conducting today may be a bit embarrassing at times, but remember I am a doctor doing a job. The reason Matthew is there is to protect both you and me. His job will be to record data and make sure nothing inappropriate happens. Do you understand?"
Jordan nodded.
"Jordan," Dr. Sprecht said. "Please look at me. I need you to respond verbally."
"Yes Dr. Sprecht, I understand. Can Mr. Jenke be in the room too?"
"In general we discourage patients from bringing a family member or friend into the exam room. Sometimes their presents prevent us from asking important questions and the patient from giving honest or complete answers. However, if you want Mr. Jenke to be part of the post-exam conference, you can sign a release, and we will come back here and talk."
"I would like that," said Jordan.
After forty minutes Jordan and Dr. Sprecht returned to the conference room. Dr. Sprecht asked Jordan, "Is there any medical information or things we talked about that you do not want me to share with Mr. Jenke?"
Jordan said, "No sir."
"Then I need you to sign this form giving me permission to share your medical information with Mr. Jenke." Jordan signed and dated the document.
"Okay let's start with the big one. We did a rapid HIV test and it came back negative. That is good; however, there is still the possibility that you have been exposed and the antibodies have not yet developed. So in forty-five days I want to see you for a follow-up test. Also, I did not detect any physical symptoms of other SDIs; however, we won't know anything until we get back your results from the lab."
"In general you are in good physical condition. You are 6'1" and weigh 155 pound. While 155 is not unhealthy, I would expect to see someone with your build and athletic background to weigh closer to 170. What did you weigh before you became homeless?"
"My last athletic physical had my weight at 175."
"Peter, my concern with Jordan's loss of weight isn't the pounds, but the essential nutrients those pounds would have represented. I want Jordan to start taking multivitamins and eating a balanced diet. Jordan also mentioned that he had lost muscle condition recently because he has not been able to workout. I told him that he is healthy enough to return to a workout regimen, but that he should do it gradually and under supervision."
"I am recommending counseling for Jordan. I can prescribe medication to help with sleep and anxiety, but I said I would only do so in conjunction with him seeing a counselor. Do either of you have any questions?"
Neither Peter or Jordan did. "Okay Jordan," Dr. Sprecht said, "We are at the part of the report where you are uncomfortable. You have three options: One, we can continue. Two, we can stop. Three, you can go to the waiting room while I tell Peter this part."
Jordan struggled for a while, then said, "Number three."
After Jordan was gone, Daniel said, "He has had the shit kicked out of him at least twice, and probably more times. I observed bruises at varying stages of healing. Also, one of his right ribs is very sore. It was probably cracked at some time in the recent past. It seems to be healing and there really isn't much to be done beyond giving him over-the-counter pain relievers."
Daniel paused, "Peter, he has been the victim of some very aggressive sexual activity. He wouldn't tell me what happened, but based on what I observed, I would say he was raped. Matthew observed the same trauma and it has been documented in Jordan's medical file. If he wasn't eighteen, I would be calling the police to investigate. Do you have any idea who might have done that to him?"
"No, until two days ago, I hadn't seen Jordan in almost two years. I do know his father is in prison."
"Do you know what he's in for?"
"Fraud, Jordan's father is Case Allison."
"Ouch," Daniel said, "I know a number of people who had money with Allison Investments and lost a bundle. Do you think any of them would decide since they can't get at the father, they would take it out on the son?"
"I don't know," said Peter.
"Be careful, friend."
Saving Jordan: 4
On the drive back to the Mila, Jordan again remained quiet, but something had changed. He seemed less downtrodden. When they got back to the apartment, Peter decided it was time to have a serious talk with Jordan. Peter's problem was he had no idea how to start the conversation.
By the time Peter and Jordan reached the apartment Peter had a plan for at least starting the conversation. Once inside Peter said, "Jordan we need to talk." Jordan's face immediately registered dispair, and Peter thought: oh shit, I've already started this badly.
"Let's sit at the table," Peter said. "What do you want to drink?"
"It doesn't matter." Jordan responded as if he was just asked if he preferred a red blindfold or a blue blindfold for his firing squad.
"Okay," Peter said, "Dr. Pepper it is then," and grabbed a couple of cans from the fridge.
He handed a can to Jordan and popped the top on his own can. Peter drank his soda and just looked at Jordan until he finally popped the top and took a sip.
Peter said, "Here are the two basic rules. One, as long as you don't steal from me, or destroy my stuff, or make an ass of yourself, I am not going to kick you out. Two, you will not be paying for your room and board with sex."
Jordan looked up and nodded, but Peter detected a look of disbelief in his eyes. It would take some effort for Jordan to trust him, Peter realized. Peter continued, "I would like to discuss a living arrangement tonight during supper. So, I will order pizza and we should be ready to be honest with each other. We have the afternoon to think about what we want to say, does that seem fair?" Jordan again nodded.
Peter said, "Okay, now I have to go to the gym. If I don't do something physical this afternoon, I will go crazy. So, you can stay here or you can be my guest at the gym."
"I don't have any workout clothes."
"I remember putting some trainers in the closet, so I think Martin took care of that. We are about the same waist size and I have a couple of extra long t-shirts I picked up by mistake, so I think I've got you covered."
At the gym, Peter signed Jordan in as his guest and they headed for the locker room. As Jordan changed Peter noticed the bruises on Jordan's body were beginning to fade, but the sight of them still made Peter wince. After they finished dressing, Peter said, "I usually ride the stationary bicycle to start my workout. Do you have a preference?"
"I saw the running track. If it is alright, I would like to run."
"Absolutely, you should do what you need to do."
As Peter moved through his normal workout, he noticed that Jordan just kept running and running around the track. It was as if he was trying to outrun his past, or more accurately to run back into his past to a time before his life fell apart.
When Peter finished his workout, he went to see how Jordan was doing. When He saw Peter, Jordan stopped and grabbed the rail surrounding to track while he caught his breath. Peter handed him a bottle of water and Jordan took a long drink before asking, "Are you finished?"
"I am through with the fitness part. I usually hit the sauna and then take a shower before heading home. Do you want to join me?"
Jordan thought for a moment then said, "I would like that."
Peter and Jordan stripped off their clothes, grabbed a towel, and headed for the men's sauna. In the middle of the afternoon, the sauna was often empty and today there was only one older man in the sauna when they entered. Peter picked out a seat on the top tier of the sauna and Jordan took one directly opposite him.
For the first time since Peter took Jordan in, Jordan looked at Peter. In fact, it was more than looking, Peter felt like he was being studied. Peter also noticed that Jordan's shoulders were no longer slumped in a show of submission. It was as if the alpha male was reemerging from his hidden lair. Then the door opened and two laughing gym fanatics entered and Jordan slumped back into submission.
After the sauna, Peter and Jordan showered and returned to the apartment. Jordan sat down on the couch and turned on the TV to watch ESPN. Peter got out his computer to do some shopping and ordered pizza from Giordano's.
When the pizza arrived, Peter called Jordan to the dining table. Peter said, "This is an awkward question, and probably a bit late, but do you have any alcohol or drug addictions?"
"No sir."
"Then would you like a beer? I realize you're not 21, but I don't think anyone is going to care tonight." Jordan nodded and Peter handed him an Old Milwaukee. "I know rich guys are supposed to drink something better than Old Milwaukee, but it's what I like." The two ate pizza, drank beer, and talked about everything except for what was on the evening's agenda. When the last piece of pizza was gone--Jordan was a human garbage disposal--Peter said, "Okay, it's time to put our shit out there for everyone to see. I'll go first." Peter had decided that he would be honest, but dispassionate in telling his story. "I honestly hated, maybe still hate, you and the Lax Rats for the way you treated me, and the way you treated gay kids at Dearborn Academy. When after a school shooting, people say they can't understand how something like that could happen in our school, I just want to stand up and say, I DO. I know what it's like for kids to reach the point where they feel life isn't worth living, and they just want to make everyone share in their pain. At least I had the option to get out. I could change schools, change careers, change where I lived, but most kids are trapped."
"However, I don't want to hate, so I am trying hard to leave that baggage on the side of the road and move on."
There was a long silence, then Jordan said, barely louder than a whisper, "I'm sorry...I am..."
Peter expected to hear, "truly sorry," but what came next was "gay."
"What?!" Peter asked in disbelief.
"I'm gay."
Peter jumped to his feet and screamed "You asshole. You fucking hypocritical asshole!" All effort to remain rational and unemotional was gone with the revelation that Jordan was a traitor, that rather than standing against the bullies had joined them to hide his own orientation. "How dare you tell me that after I just told you how much it hurt me and others to be tormented for being gay. I get that you wanted to hide in the closet, but did you have to open the door just wide enough to piss on the rest of us?"
Peter was in tears and he hated that Jordan could see just how deep his wounds were. He rushed to his room and slammed the door. As soon as he threw himself on his bed, Peter regretted what he just said to Jordan. Of course, he understood how hard someone like Jordan needed to fit in, to be one of the team. In fact, Peter felt his own guilt for laughing at gay jokes from behind his own closet door. Maybe Peter had never tormented the gay kids in high school, but he'd also never stood up for them. There was enough hypocrite pie for everyone to get a full slice.
After what seemed hours but in reality was only twenty minutes, there was a knock on Peter's bedroom door. Without really thinking Peter said come in. Jordan cautiously walked in. He was dressed in the clothes he was wearing when Peter saw him being chased from the apartment property.
"Mr. Jenke, I am sorry I hurt you so much. I..." Jordan wiped away tears. I wish I could take it all back...but, I know I can't. I also want to thank you for everything you've done for me...it meant a lot...I will be going."
"Jordan, I said I wouldn't kick you out."
"You're not sir...I'm leaving."
"Oh no you're not. It is going to be killer cold for the next week. I may hate you: but if you leave, and they find you frozen in some doorway, I couldn't live with that. So you can't leave."
Jordan sank onto Peter's bed, put his face in his hand and softly sobbed. Peter soon found himself again crying. He couldn't remember the last time he shed so many tears. Yes, he cried at his mother's funeral, but those were tears shed in remembrance of a life well lived; these were the tears in mourning for lives ripped apart."
Finally the need to reach out was too great and Peter pulled Jordan close. Jordan placed his head on Peter's chest and poured out the pain of the last year while Peter gently stroked his hair. Peter's mind swirled with... hate... compassion... anger... concern... confusion... and...
Saving Jordan: 5
Jordan looked out of the window of Peter's apartment and shivered at the sight of snow being blown against the window. The thought of being on the street in this weather was frightening, and the thought that Peter had saved him twice from it was overwhelming. Peter walked up to the window with two cups of coffee and handed one to Jordan. They drank the steaming coffee in silence as they watched the storm worsen. Finally, Jordan said, "You saved my life. Thank you."
Peter wasn't sure what to say. The conflict between compassion and hate still festered, but Peter was certain the decision to insist Jordan stay was the only decision both of them could live with.
"What would you like for breakfast?" Peter asked.
Peter replied, "You have done so much for me. Can I make breakfast for you?"
"On the condition that you make yourself breakfast ."
Soon Jordan was whipping up omelets from things found in the fridge. Peter was impressed with Jordan's skill and the delicious product of his effort. Rarely had Peter had such a good breakfast prepared for him. "Jordan, this omelet is fantastic, how did you learn to cook so well?"
"Our housekeeper, Mrs. Thye taught me. She only worked Monday through Friday, and worried l was not getting enough to eat on the weekend because dad and his new woman were too busy with the social circuit, so she taught me to cook."
After Jordan cleaned up the kitchen and started the dishwasher, he sat on the couch next to Peter. After a few minutes Jordan said, "I didn't want to be gay. I tried to make myself straight. I thought if I hated the gay part of me enough it would die, but I couldn't hate the gay away. All it did was make me hate myself, and I projected that hate onto you and other gay people."
"That's a pretty mature self-evaluation," Peter said.
"Years of counseling and plenty of time to think."
"Well, I guess it's my turn to tell you my self-psychology. When my father was killed we had just moved to Fort Hood. I had just started to make friends, then mom decided to move to Dallas to be closer to her family. At first I didn't want to make friends, then when I was ready for friends, I already had a reputation as a loner. Add to that the realization I was gay, it was easier to stay in the shadows."
"When I moved to Chicago for college, I decided to remake myself. I decided to make friends, go to parties--to have a social life. I actually had friends that accepted me for me--gay and all. So, when the lax rats made me a target it caught me with my defenses down. I thought being on the outside was in my past. It wasn't just the lax rats though. I didn't realize just what a bunch of assholes and cowards the staff at Dearborn Academy are. The coaches are total homophobes and their attitudes poisoned the administration and faculty opinion of me."
"I know," Justin said remorsefully, "Coach Davis called you Peter Pansy and made sure no one on the lacrosse team dared to defend you, even those guys who liked you or felt you were getting screwed."
"I don't think any of the jocks liked me."
"That's not true. The Roth twins thought you were a great teacher, and Joey Jeffers even tried defending you until Gates and Shepard started saying he was just queer for you. I know you won't believe me, but I felt like shit when we learned you were let go. I was just so afraid they would find out about me. But they already knew."
"Huh?"
"Yeah, Dirk Gates, I was drunk at a party and needed a ride home. Dirk took me home and helped me to my room. While I was passed out on my bed, he used my fingerprint to unlock my iPad and snoop on my phone. He found some pictures and chats, so he decided to catfish me. He then told me that if I didn't suck him, he'd out me on twitter. After a while he told Shepard and soon I was their bitch. When my father was arrested and the government took everything, I had no place to go, I just couch surfed with my former teammates. Gates had told them all and they either wouldn't have anything to do with me, or they....well, they... you know..."
Jordan was now in tears and Peter pulled Jordan in to comfort him. Peter wrapped a blanket around Jordan and let the boy lean against him and softly cry.
Saving Jordan: 6
Peter gave Jordan a cup of hot chocolate. The Weather Channel was warning that the snow would continue for three more days and the bitter cold wouldn't end until Christmas Eve.
"I need to go to the gym," Peter said. "Do you want to go with me?"
Jordan nodded and soon both were braving the cold. Fortunately the gym was warm and not very full. The two entered one of the locker bays to change and stow their street clothes. Peter went to take a piss before changing. When he returned, he saw two muscular guys had a naked Jordan boxed in against the lockers and Jordan was clearly intimidated.
When he got closer, Peter heard one of the men say, "Get it straight Allison, your daddy stole $50-thousand from me and your ass is going to work it off." "Yeah, you think last time was bad,"the second guy said, "if you don't show up this time we'll rape you stupid and then throw you bare assed naked in Marquette Park."
"What the hell," Peter yelled. "Leave him alone."
"Mind your own business," said the first guy. Peter tried to pull Jordan away, but the second guy pushed Peter backward over a bench. Peter landed hard on the cement floor. Suddenly Jordan was no longer a cowering victim. He lunged at the guy who had shoved Peter. Jordan landed a hard right and Peter's attacker grabbed his nose that now no longer aligned with the center of his face and was bleeding badly. "You broke my nose you fucking faggot. I'm going to kill you."
His partner had grabbed Jordan from behind and now his bloody-nosed friend was landing punches at will. Peter finally was able to regain his feet and threw himself into the man restraining Jordan, forcing him to lose control of Jordan's arms. Jordan unleashed a right-left combination that dropped-bloody nose to his knees. Soon two of the gym's trainers arrived to put an end to the fight.
Ivan the head trainer yelled, "What the hell is going on here?"
The first of the bullies said, "These two fags came on to us and wouldn't take no for an answer. The naked one tried to touch my buddy's junk and when my man pushed the fag away the pervert sucker punched him."
An older man came around the corner and said, "My name is Dr. Gerbeck and this is my friend, Judge Henderson. We were in the next locker bay and heard what happened. Those two assholes were threatening the young man and his friend came to his aid."
"In fact," Judge Henderson said, "We heard an admission that they had raped the young man and threatened to do so again." He then turned to Jordan and said, "If you want to press charges, we will corroborate your statement."
Terry, the head trainer and one of the gym owners, asked Jordan, "Do you want us to call the cops?" Jordan shook his head no. Terry turned to the two assholes and said "Your memberships are canceled. If you ever show your faces again here you will be arrested for trespassing."
Judge Henserson added, "As of this minute, if either of you come within fifty feet of either of these guys, you will be arrested for violating a restraining order."
"This is bullshit," yelled the asshole one, then as he was being escorted out, he passed Jordan and out of nowhere kicked him in the nuts. Jordan dropped like a sack of potatoes. Terry barked, "fucking shit," and ran the asshole's face into a bank of lockers leaving his face matching that of his buddy.
Peter started to help Jordan up, but a sharp pain resulted in him grabbing his wrist and wincing. Dr. Gerbeck said, "Here, let us help your friend." He and Judge Henderson helped Jordan to the bench. Gerbeck asked Jordan, "Will you let me examine you?" Jordan moved his hands and said, "I think you are okay, but I would recommend an ultrasound. That was a hard kick." He then looked at Peter's wrist. "You need to get an x-ray. Hopefully it is just a bad spain, but it could be fractured. Who is your physician?"
"Dr.Sprecht," Peter said.
"Daniel is one of our friends. Let us take you to his office."
"I think we do need to see Dr. Sprecht, but we can take a cab," Peter said.
"Nonsense," said Henderson, "you need to let us help get you to Daniel's office. Imagine what he would think if we didn't help two of his patients."
Peter chuckled and said, "I see your point."
At the clinic, Peter and Jordan thanked their Good Samaritans and Peter said he had a friend who would come pick them up.
While Peter was sent to get an x-ray of his wrist, Dr. Specht examined Jordan. An ultrasound revealed no serious damage done. Jordan was told to wear a jock for a couple of days, use an ice pack if there was swelling, and take over the counter pain relievers.
Peter's wrist wasn't fractured, but was badly sprained. He would need to keep it wrapped for a couple of days. Martin came to pick them up and help Peter and Jordan back to the apartment. For the rest of the day Peter and Jordan just took it easy and watched movies. Finally Peter said, "I'm going to take a shower and go to bed."
Peter let the warm water run over his head and down sinewy body. While Peter wasn't large, there was no chance that he would be mistaken for a kid. His face was mature with angular lines and often sported a masculine scruff. Peter's chest hair matched his caramel hair and complemented the Mediterranean complexion inherited from his mother. When he wore his black framed glasses, Peter looked like a university graduate student.
Peter was lost deep in thought when two hands started to massage the tension from his shoulders. He was torn: one voice kept whispering, put a stop to this, he is a former student and vulnerable; the other voice screamed, see where this goes, he is an adult and hot. Gently Jordan turned Peter around, gave Peter a kiss, then dropped to his knees.
"Jordan, I told you that you would not pay with sex."
"This is not a payment; it is a gift." As Jordan kissed and licked, Peter's cock grew to its full seven erect inches. Jordan slid down until he swallowed Peter's entire cock. He repeatedly massaged Peter's cock, stopping occasionally to tongue the low hanging and sensitive balls. It had been weeks since Peter had seen any action and Jordan was pushing Peter to the brink of sexual insanity. Finally, Jordan drove in until his nose was buried in Peter's pubes. He began to vibrate his throat and Peter was shoved over the edge. As he fell into a deep canyon of carnal bliss, Peter unloaded a torrent of cum into Jordan's throat. Peter leaned back against the shower wall for balance and slowly slid down until he was seated on the shower floor with Jordan. All the time Jordan continued to suck Peter's cock and play with his balls, until Peter could no longer take it and gently pushed Jordan away.
After he recovered, Peter pushed Jordan down on the shower floor and said, "Now it's your turn."
"No Mr. Jenke, you....I.... you don't need to....I mean I...."
Peter put two fingers to Jordan's lips and said, "First, we are not student and teacher anymore. My name is Peter. Do you understand?"
Jordan nodded.
"Second, I know I don't have to, but I want to. Will you let me give you a blow job? Is that something you want?"
After a few minutes, Jordan nodded his head.
Peter touched Jordan's genitals and Jordan flinched, and Peter asked, "Do you still hurt from earlier?"
Jordan shook his head, no.
Then Peter asked, "Are you afraid I might hurt you or do something you won't like?"
After a bit, Jordan said, "I'm sorry. I won't flinch again."
Peter crawled back up and kissed Jordan and said, "You've been hurt during sex, am I right?"
"Yes," Jordan said meekly and tears started to form in the corners of his eyes.
Peter kissed Jordan again, " I don't want to hurt you. Can I try again?"
Jordan nodded.
Peter gave Jordan another kiss then began to slowly work down his body. Peter kissed Jordan's nipples and admired his well developed hairless chest. Next Peter's tongue danced over Jordan's abs and Peter noticed that the boy still needed a few more good meals. Peter licked Jordan's naval and he let out some tickle giggles. The next stop was Jordan's pubes which were as bright red as his hair. They had trapped in them the unmistakable aroma of a healthy male sex drive. This time when Peter touched Jordan/s cock and ball there was no negative reflex. Instead, Jordan was rock hard and dripping precum. After kissing Jordan's balls, Peter licked up the bottom of Jordan's six inch shaft and caught a dab clear pre on his tongue. Peter showed Jordan the dewdrop before swallowing it and licking his lips.
When Peter returned his lips to Jordan's cock tip, he sensually devoured Jordan's cock. Jordan's hips lifted from the shower floor and his glutes tightened. Peter knew Jordan would not last long. Slowly Peter bobbed on the teenage meat and spread Jordan's legs. Jordan was softly moaning as the pressure of an orgasm built in his groin. Suddenly Peter's mouth was flooded with boy cream and it was impossible to swallow fast enough. Cum began to leak from the corners of Peter's mouth as he continued to milk the athletic stud. Finally, Peter returned to Jordan's mouth to share the final blasts of an intense orgasm.
Peter sat back against the show wall as warm water continued to pour down on him. He pulled Jordan between his legs and drew Jordan's back against his chest. They sat there letting the water wash the evidence of sex down the drain. Finally, Peter said, "It is time to dry off." After drying, Jordan helped rewrap Peter's wrist. When Peter crawled into bed, Jordan crawled in behind and spooned his naked body against Peter's.
After a moment Jordan said, "Peter?"
"Yes Jordan?"
"I'm sorry, I didn't ask if it is okay to sleep with you."
"Jordan, if you ever do something I don't want, I will tell you. I hope you can trust me enough to give me the same respect."
"Thank you Peter....that was the first."
"The first what?" Peter asked with concern and confusion.
"The first time anyone has ever cared about what I wanted...what I needed...The first time a guy ever made me cum...Thank you for being the first." Jordan carefully draped an arm over Peter, kissed the back of his neck, and drifted to sleep.
"Oh fuck," Peter said under his breath.
Saving Jordan: 7
In a follow up visit, Peter's wrist was recovering nicely and Dr. Sprecht had given him a clean bill of health. Also Jordan's blood tests had come in and they all indicated he was in good health, but Daniel still wanted to administer another HIV test before giving him a complete clean bill of health. Dr. Sprecht was amazed at the impact three square meals, plus a few snacks, and regular exercise at the gym was having on Jordan's body.
When Peter was out of ear shot, Dr. Sprecht said, "Son, I hope you appreciate what Peter has done for you."
"More than you could know Doc. I was in a really dark place when Peter took me in. I didn't have a reason to live."
"And now?" Dr. Sprecht asked.
"Is it crazy to make another person the reason to live?"
"No son, that is the best reason to live, but it can also be the worst reason. You have to know the difference between devotion and obsession. You have to be an autonomous person before you can truly commit to another. Also, I suspect that while your physical health is returning, you still need to do some emotional healing. Am I right?"
Jordan just hung his head.
"Hey son, you've lived through a lot of trauma in a very short time. Also, I am sure that Peter is willing to support you in recovery. I don't think I am betraying any doctor-patient confidentiality when I say that the first time you two were here Peter felt pity for you, but now I see something more."
Jordan smiled a bit.
"My life partner and partner in this practice is Steven Webber he is a Psychiatric Mental Health Nurse Practitioner. I would like you to meet with him. Would you be up for that?"
"I don't know. I really don't want to think about....well, about that."
"I get that," Dr. Sprecht said, "but understand what you say to him if confidential. He won't even tell me. He snores, but he doesn't talk in his sleep."
Jordan let out a little laugh.
"Can I tell Peter that I am recommending you visit with Steven?"
After a bit Jordan said, "Yes, I think Peter should know that I am screwed up."
"Hey, you're not screwed up. I've seen screwed up and you are not there, but you can use someone to help clarify what you need to get back to a positive state of mind."
When Dr. Sprecht told Peter that he thought Jordan needed to see Steven, Peter slipped his hand around Jordan's waist, gave him a slight squeeze and said, "Let's make an appointment for after New Years. We could also make a separate appointment to talk about our issues. Can we do that?"
Jordan nodded his agreement.
Peter had signed up to help prepare Christmas dinner at the Urban Ministries soup kitchen. The director was delighted when he showed up at five a.m. with a second pair of hands. "Praise the Lord," Thelma Waters cried when she saw Jordan. "We had three volunteers come down with the flu and are desperately in need of some muscle to set up the dining hall and serving lines."
"Hey," said Peter, "What am I chopped liver? I may not have the build of Beefcakes here, but I am not a ninety-five pound weakling?"
Thelma laughed, "You, my hot hunk of man, have a date with twenty-three birds in the kitchen. So get back there and start shoving corn stuffing up their asses."
Both Peter and Jordan got busy and no sooner than they finished one chore, Thelma had another. Peter watched Jordan take on every task with a smile and a can-do attitude. He also noticed that Jordan seemed to genuinely relate to the people coming for Christmas dinner. He particularly shined when playing with children from the family shelter who came for a taste of a normal Christmas.
Peter and Jordan were among the last volunteers remaining. They were finishing up mopping the kitchen floor when Thelma said, "Hey you two, you haven't had your Christmas dinner." She told Peter and Jordan to grab a seat while she fixed each of them a plate. Jordan was again the human vacuum cleaner, and before he finished Thelma had a second plate for him. She laughed, "Maybe this time you will slow down enough to actually taste the food." Jordan blushed. "Don't be embarrassed, my own boys would be doing the same thing if they were here. In fact, they probably are better off shoving down that Army food they are having today without tasting it."
Back at the apartment, Jordan flopped down on the couch totally exhausted. He felt like he had just finished a game with Lincoln Prep, Dearborn Academy's arch rival in lacrosse. Joe went to the kitchen and made two cups of hot chocolate spiked with peppermint schnapps, grabbed a tin of Christmas cookies and joined Jordan on the couch. After they finished their hot chocolate Peter reached under the couch and pulled out a small gift wrapped package and handed it to Jordan. Inside, Jordan found the latest iPhone and a key. Jordan looked at the key with a puzzled face, and Peter said, "It's a key to the apartment." Jordan threw his arms around Peter and cried on his shoulder. After a few minutes of Peter stroking Jordan's hair while he wept, Jordan looked up with tears still clouding his eyes and said in distress, "I didn't get you anything."
"Yes you did. You gave me Christmas."
While on vacation, I decided to write this short story. I hope you enjoy my little diversion.
In many ways I think the story of Peter and Jordan ends well here; however there are certainly sequels that can be added. If you like the characters and would like them to grow, let me know and at some point in the future I may return to this story. For now though, I need to work on completing Tough Love in Kansas City and Quarterback Keeper.
Also, don't forget to support NIfty.org if you are financially able and enjoy these stories.