This story contains sex between M/M and of consenting age, if your country or state forbids such material from being read please leave now, or if you don't give a shit what the authorities think. Please read on.
Written by
David Spowart
Edited by
J Matlock
Sanity, escapes, regrets, and redemption
Mark Mills was travelling home; he had not been home in almost eight years. He is travelling back for the funeral of his father, who died from a heart attack a week earlier.
Eight days earlier...
"Oh, hey Mom, nice to hear your voice" he said, as his mother called his cell.
"Mark" she sobbed.
"Mom, what is it?" he asked.
"Mark, it's your dad" she continued to sob.
"What's happened Mom, is Dad okay?" he asked out of concern
"He had a heart attack, Mark" she replied, pulling herself together for a second. He could hear his sister and brother in the background; his brother took the phone from his mother.
"Chet, what's happened, man?" Mark asked, getting agitated.
"Mark, sorry man, but Dad died; his heart just gave out" he replied, and Mark was shocked and also began to sob.
"When?" he asked.
"About ten minutes ago; we called you first" Chet replied.
"I'll sort something out with the school and I'll get there as soon as I can, okay?" Mark replied.
"Mark, we have everything in hand, just do what you need to do. I'll let you know what the arrangements are, okay? Love you, bro" he said.
"Give Mom a kiss from me, and give Lucy a hug; see you soon" Mark replied, all this bad news coming in the same week he and his boyfriend had decided to call it a day. He could have used a hug, himself, at that point.
Now, looking out of the window of the train he was on, travelling back to Idaho and remembering the real reason he left in the first place.
Mark knew he was gay when he was just 13 years old, and the reason he knew was Donny Lake. Donny was the first person he'd met when his family had moved to the suburb his parents bought a home in. They just clicked. A few years passed by and Mark knew his feelings toward Donny where not the usual feelings a kid had for another kid of the same sex.
At the age of 16, going on 17, he knew he was head over heels in love with Donny and it was killing him. He couldn't stand to be so close to the guy and not touch him; okay, not in the way he wanted to.
He would go home and cry himself to sleep every time he saw Donny holding hands with a different girl every week; he wanted to be the one whose hand Donny held.
When Mark graduated high school, he knew he had to get away from Donny or he would crack up. He needed to escape his attraction to Donny, and the only way he knew how was college. He was going to be a teacher, and he knew the college he wanted to attend.
He spent the final week just doing routine things and not drawing attention to the fact he was crushed, and dying inside. He knew he would probably never see Donny again. His love for the kid, now young adult, had never diminished; but he knew it would never be reciprocated, and that destroyed him.
He looked across the street the day he was leaving, and watched Donny walk toward him. He stopped in front of him, not saying anything. Donny just pulled him into a hug, and Mark died a little more, inside.
"Stay in touch, okay?" Donny asked.
"I will, I'll be back for holidays" Mark replied.
He climbed into his truck and that was the last time he saw Donny Lake. He spoke to him a few times a week, at first; but that dropped to a few times a month, then stopped all together after just a few months.
Now, all these years later, his love was still as strong as it ever was; but that was his cross, and he was bearing it. He knew, from his mother, that Donny had married one of the girls whose hand he had held; which broke his heart often.
His mother also informed him about four years ago, that his wife had died during child birth; and even that couldn't get Mark to call him. Hearing how hurt and devastated he would have been, would have surely killed him, and he knew it. He opted to send a floral arrangement.
Mark's parents knew of his sexuality, and that was the reason they never protested his decision to leave for college, and not attend Idaho State. They knew he needed the distance to save his sanity.
Crossing the State line into Idaho had his heart beating a little faster. He was only about an hour from home and wondered if he would see Donny. Could he cope with seeing Donny? All he knew was he wanted to see him so bad, it hurt.
He decided to tell Donny why he left, and would take whatever consequence came his way. He just thought Donny had the right to know.
After leaving the rail station he climbed into a cab. Twenty minutes later, he pulled up in front of his family home. Chet's car was in the drive, and Lucy's station wagon was parked on the street. He looked across the street to what was Donny Lakes home, and spotted a 'for sale' sign posted.
His heart sank again.
The door opened and his brother came out and pulled him into a hug. "Hey bro, you okay?" Chet asked.
"Yeah, you?" Mark replied, picking up his case and walking into his former home. He walked over and held his mom.
"How you bearing up, Mom?" he asked.
"Coping, son" she replied, and Lucy, as usual, gave him a smirk. His sister was the only one who could not accept his sexuality. Her husband was a minister. He had never met, nor even seen photos of his nephews. He had not been invited to her wedding.
"Hello Lucy, you are looking rather pregnant" he said, and she ignored him.
"Please yourself, Lucy. I'm here for Mom and Chet, and for myself, if I'm honest. You wanna continue to be a bigot, carry on Sis; you are only hurting yourself" Mark said, with more confidence than he actually felt.
An hour later, sitting at the kitchen table, he asked the question he wanted to ask when he arrived home.
"Where has Donny moved to?" he asked.
"Oh, he and Millie moved further into town" His mom replied, and again he wondered who he was attached to, now.
"Millie?" he enquired.
"His daughter, she's four now" Chet replied.
"You still hung up on himm bro?" Chet asked, and Mark looked at his mother.
"Sorry" she replied.
"It's complicated" Mark replied, a little embarrassed.
"How?" Chet asked.
"He's straight, for a start" Mark commented.
"Well, yeah, that is a bit of a stumbling block. Sorry" Chet replied.
"Disgusting, if you ask me" Lucy commented.
"Well, lucky for you, sis, nobody asked, then, isn't it?" Chet replied.
"Lucy, go home. We'll see you in the morning" his mom instructed. She stood up, picked up her coat, and left the house.
Close to 9p.m., a knock at the door grabbed their attention. "I'll get it" Mark said, as his mom and Chet where in the kitchen, cleaning.
He opened the door and there he stood, Donny Lake.
"Hey" Mark said, looking at his heart's desire.
"Eight years and that is all you can say? Hey?" Donny replied.
"Sorry, come in Donny, please" Mark replied.
He walked past him and brushed him slightly, which sent a bolt of electricity to parts he didn't want to awaken.
"I'm still pissed at you, man; nothing in over 7and a half years. You didn't even come to my wedding" he scorned.
"Complicated, Donny; I couldn't get away" Mark replied.
"That's bullshit, and you know it" he replied.
"Oh, hey Donny" Mark's mom said, coming out of the kitchen.
"Hey, Ruth, how you bearing up?" he asked.
"My family has been my strength" she replied.
"What? Even Lucy?" he mocked.
"Donny Lake, behave" she replied, and went back into the kitchen.
"Look,Donny, I'll explain after the service, okay? Let me get through that, please?" he asked.
"Porch. Now." Donny replied.
"Donny, please" Mark replied.
"Now" he responded.
They walked out and to the side of the building, and sat down on the porch seat.
"Talk" Donny said.
"I can't handle this right now, please, Donny" he replied.
"Look, we were friends for all of our childhood, right through high school, then it all changed; explain to me why" he demanded.
"I can't" Mark replied, with his head in his hands.
"Yes, you can. You open your mouth and words spill out; now talk, Mark" he again demanded.
"I can't."
"Mark!"
"I CAN'T!"
"Just fucking tell me" he said, raising his voice a little.
"Donny, please" he begged.
"Now" he yelled, a little louder
"Because I was in love with you. Satisfied now?" he yelled and stood up and walked away, back around the house. Donny grabbed him and pinned him to the wall of the house.
"Get the fuck off me" Mark yelled.
Donny just looked at Mark and smiled.
"You gonna hit me, is that it? Well, go on, fucking get it over with... hit me!" Mark demanded.
The shock that went through his mind when he felt Donny's lips touch his left him unable to even think. His eyes closed as he fell into the moment; his lips parted as Donny's tongue probed his open lips. Their tongues battled for dominance for a few minutes, before parting, and their foreheads touched.
"I don't understand" Mark whispered.
"What don't you understand?" Donny whispered back.
"You kissed me" Mark replied.
"Why?" he added
"I have wanted to do that since junior year in high school; but I wanted our friendship, more. I didn't want to lose it" Donny replied.
"You serious? But, all those girls... you got married... shit, you have a daughter" Mark replied.
"Baptist parents. I was drunk and didn't take precautions; she was willing and I was just about able. She got pregnant, and, well, as I said, Baptist parents. We married, and the only good thing to come from it is Millie" he smiled.
"So, the love thing" he adds
Mark blushed as his friend remembered his words from earlier.
"Yeah" Mark replied.
"And now?" he asks.
"Nothing has changed; I don't think I'll ever get over you" Mark responded.
"Good, I like that you have strong feelings" Donny said, and smiled.
"What? You want to see me in constant pain?" he said, angrily.
"Nope, just want to see if your feelings are as strong as mine" Donny replied, and kissed Mark again.
"Look, we need to have a good conversation, Mark. It is good to see you, and I hope you will stay in town for a while; so we can see if we can sort ourselves out some" he adds, and stands up and walks to his truck.
"So, where is Millie?" Mark asks.
"Gloria's mother has her. I'm going to get her, now. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" he replies, and starts the engine.
"Yeah, Donny, I think I still love you" he replies and Donny looks at him with affection. "Me too" he adds, and drives off.
Mark walked back into the house five minutes later, as his hard on took some time to subside. "What's with the smirk?" Chet asks.
"Nothing" Mark replied with the grin that would not go away.
"Ok, spill, little brother" Chet demanded.
"He kissed me" he replied.
"Bout freakin time, idiots" Chet replied.
"What?" Mark replied.
"I watched you two for years. The way you looked at him and the way he looked at you, when neither was looking at each other, was obvious to anyone who had eyes that you had feelings beyond that of friendship" Chet responded.
"Terrified" Mark replied.
"Of what?" Chet asked.
"Rejection, ridicule, I was going insane, Chet" Mark replied.
"Sometimes in life you just have to take that leap of faith, bro" Chet replied.
"Easier said than done, Chet" Mark responded.
"The day you left for college, you could have had that talk, then; but you were too chicken shit. Mind you, so was he; so, as I said, idiots!!" Chet added, and stood up.
"Look bro, I hope you can sort things out. You have been away for far too long; and I've missed you, bro" Chet said with some moisture in his eyes.
Mark stood up and walked into his big brothers arms. "Me, too" he sobbed.
"Go on, your room is the same as you left it; go get some sleep" Chet adds.
"Hope the pizza got cleaned up" Mark snickered.
"Dickwad" Chet said, slapping the back of Mark's head.
Mark walked down the hall to his old bedroom and opened the door. His old Backstreet Boys poster was still pinned to the wall, along with his high school trophies on the shelves. He smiled when he picked up his old catchers mitt; memories of he and his father playing in the back yard brought a smile to his face.
He lay on his bed. He so wanted to call Donny, but he never got his cell number. The memory of that kiss had him boned in seconds; so he just turned over and tried to sleep.
After he eventually fell asleep he was awakened at 9a.m. for breakfast. He dressed, and joined his mother and brother at the table.
"Your dad wanted you to have something, Mark; he knew you loved it, so it's yours" his mom said, and Mark looked all confused.
"Sorry, to what are you referring?" he asked.
"Your grandmother's house, it's yours" she replied.
"He kept it?" Mark asked?
"Yeah, he couldn't part with it. He rented it out for a while, but now, it's empty" she added.
"I think dad thought if you had a place and roots, you would come home" Chet replied
"It's mine?" he asked.
"All 5 bedrooms and 3 baths" Chet added.
Thoughts of he and Donny and Millie living there were running wild in his head. Slow down there, brain; need to talk first. He has a job to consider. Would he give up his teaching job for Donny? In a heartbeat, he would.
A few hours later, after the service was over, Mark was sitting on the porch seat, contemplating what he was going to do. He stood up and went for a walk. He knew the place like the back of his hand. He walked toward the old mill. He used to play there with Donny, when they were kids. The memory always brought a smile.
"Hey" he turned, and Donny was there, with Millie in tow.
"How did you know I would be here?" Mark asked.
"Your Mom said you went for a walk, we played here, doesn't take a genius" Donny replied.
"I have a house" Mark blurted out.
"Huh?" Donny asked.
"Dad left me my grandmother's house" he replied.
"The Porter place?" he asked.
"Yep" Mark replied.
"Phewwwww... Nice" Donny replied.
"Daddy, who's this?" Millie piped up.
"He's Daddies friend, honey" he replied.
"I'd like to be more" Mark replied, looking at Donny.
"You mean that?" he asked.
"With everything I am or can be, I've loved you the majority of my life" Mark replied.
"Mark, you have no idea how long I have waited to hear those words from you. I know you said you loved me, before; but I had just kissed you... It was a moment" he added.
"Can I change what I said before?" Mark asked.
"Change what?" Donny asked.
"Oh, I mean we have a house, me, you and Millie" he replied.
Donny smiled and pulled Mark tight to his chest. Millie was picking daisies and singing to herself.
"Can Gloria's mother have Millie tonight?" Mark asked.
"Why?" he asked.
"Duh!!" Mark responded.
"Huh" he replied.
"I need you to take me, and when I mean take, I mean, TAKE!!!" he added.
"Oh, I see; I'll call her. I am sure she won't mind" he fumbled in his pocket, desperate to make the call.
After dropping Millie off at her grandmothers, they almost crashed into a bus as they rushed across town to get to Donny's home. They pulled up and ran to the door. They got through the door and practically ripped the clothing from their bodies.
"Bedroom! Now!" Donny yelled, as he took a naked Mark by the hand, pulling his naked ass into the bedroom, pushing him onto the bed.
"You are perfect" He informed Mark.
"Fuck me" Mark yelled.
"Nope, I have dreamed long and hard about this; I'm going to worship your body for as long as my libido can hold out. Nobody gets fucked. I will make love to you, with great passion and eagerness. Nobody gets fucked: fucking is for eager teenagers, or horny college students. We are adults. I will love what I do to you and you to me, I will never just fuck you" he said, as he began to lick the head of Mark's leaking, engorged cock.
"Okay, can you make love to me hard and fast, then?" Mark said, with desperation in his voice.
Donny took Marks cock into his mouth and pushed a finger into Marks ass. "Hmmm" Mark moaned out at the double pleasure he was receiving. A second finger was pushed in, spreading his hole as he worked. He spat on Marks hole and worked, with patience, to ready him for what he most desperately needed; he needed to make Mark his.
"Ohhh Donny, fuck!!!!!!" he pushed his ass onto Donny's fingers. Now, 3 were working him open.
"Donny! Please!!!" he begged, as he kept up the in and out motion, as he worked hard to push all the buttons he could. He knew Mark was close to the edge. He stood up and Mark lept up, dropping to his knees. He grabbed Donny's cock and took him into his mouth, savoring the taste of the guy he yearned to have for years.
"Fuck... Mark...Shit!!!!" he moaned, as all of his cock vanished into Marks head.
He pulled out of Marks mouth, picking him up and pushing him back onto the bed. He pushed Marks knees up to his chest, and leaned over to kiss him. He placed his cock at the entrance of Marks ass and pushed in.
Mark loved the burn, the burn he has wanted to feel from Donny since he first went through puberty.
"Your ass feels like home" Donny said, as he thrust hard and deep. He kissed Mark hard and with meaning.
"It's only yours, nobody else" he panted out, as Donny continued to thrust hard and deep.
"Ohh Fuck!!!!!, that feels...Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh," Mark moaned out as he grabbed Donny back down for a kiss.
"Mark, Mark, Oh fuck, Mark, I'm gonna I'm gonna...Ahhhhhhhh Fuck!!!!!!!!!" Donny came at the same time that Mark shot across his stomach, as Donny collapsed on top of him, welding their bodies together with sweat and cum.
Mark held on tight to his lover, the only lover he ever wanted; the lover he always compared any partner with. He loved him, and would never apologize for the fact.
"So, will you move in with me?" Mark asked, sometime later.
"You want me as a room mate, only with benefits?" he asked.
"No, I want you, all in. I want you to be my partner" Mark replied.
"And Millie?" he asked.
"Stupid question; you are a package deal, and she's your daughter" Mark replied with a snicker to his voice.
"You mean our daughter, don't you?" Donny replied.
"Shit, you mean that?" Mark asked, shocked.
"Yeah, if we are going to be partners, I can arrange for you to adopt her" he replied.
"Fuck Donny, I love you so much... a daughter...wow. I escaped to be sane; that, I regret, as I missed out on so much" Mark said, kissing his lover.
"Redemption, babe. Let's make up for lost time. No more wasting any more, okay?" Donny replied
"No more" he kissed him again.
"Ready for round two?" Donny asked.
"Two, three, and four" Mark replied.
The End...?
Hope you liked my little story of unrequited love, and reconnection to find love, it's out there you just have to find it...
Comments as usual at davidspowart3@hotmail.com or Tweet @DavidSpowart
David