Sand Storm 2005 By: Holloway H. Copyright 2005 Holloway H.
This is a work of fiction with an adult theme. I look forward to hearing your thoughts on the story: Frontrnrusa@netscape.net
It looked like something out of a movie. A wall of sand almost a mile high and as wide as the eye could see. The base had been preparing for the storm since early morning. I knew once the storm hit we'd be inside our tents waiting for it to pass, unless you were crazy as shit and wanted to end up lost in the fucking sand. The last couple of months have been a fucking nightmare for me. For over two years I've been in the platoon. I know every guy and we get along like brothers, we know everything about each other except for maybe one or two things. One of mine being that I'm trying to figure out if I'm queer, it's been really difficult for me, I just turned twenty and have never had sex with anyone men or women. The other part is I love the Marines this is the best thing that ever happened to me.
I grew up in the South, the poor South. My father ran away when us kids were still small. My momma did the best she could to raise all of us it wasn't easy raising five kids by yourself. My momma's family tried to help but they were as poor as we were. My oldest brother was 12 when he just gave up on life he couldn't take it no more and ended up killing himself. Momma said it was an accident but I knew better. And then my brother Jimmy drowned at the Clay Pits, his death hit momma hard she kept praying asking God what she had done to deserve this misery but it weren't over yet. The month I turned fifteen it was the coldest it had ever been. The Baptist Church bought momma a kerosene heater for the house telling her to keep it away from anything that might catch fire. Momma was real pleased to have the heat in the house and she thanked the ladies from the church. The heater worked real good at keeping us all warm. No more than a week later the house burned down with all of us in it. I remember waking smelling the smoke it was just about an inch from my face. I got on the floor and crawled around calling out for momma and the twins they didn't hear me, I started crawling toward the door but it was real hot. I reached up to turn the knob and burnt my hand. The fire got nearer and I could feel my chest and stomach burning something terrible then I felt like I must be dead there was no more pain. When I woke up I was in pain and I knew that I hadn't died. By the looks of it I was in a hospital. I had bandages from my chest down to my stomach. I'd been burned pretty bad, the heat had burnt off all the hair on my body, I was scared and began touching all of me to see what was missing, everything was there. My legs, arms and face had not been burnt real bad but the rest of me had cooked pretty good. I called out for the nurse she saw me, smiled and quickly gave me a shot.
The next time I woke the doctor and the minister from our church sat with me in my room and told me that Momma and the Twins had gone to Jesus they had not suffered. The minister said they was working to locate my daddy but if they couldn't I need not worry they would place me in a Boys Home until I was eighteen. Thinking they were doing me a favor I thanked them. I was in the hospital almost three months before I was healed enough to go home. As I dressed that day I looked in the mirror, my chest and stomach were scared badly I was embarrassed and knew no one would ever like me because of it, I hurriedly pulled my shirt over my head swearing I would never let anyone see me without a shirt except in the showers during gym and if I could help it not then either.
I graduated with real good grades at 17. I immediately went to the recruiting office; my physical at the AFEES station took forever. The doctor there had to call someone to look at the scars. I was scared to death that I wouldn't be allowed to join. After another hour I was given a clean bill of health and sworn into the Marines. Three days later I sat on a bus for Parris Island. Soon as we got off that bus our training began. I'd read all the history of the Marines. I really admired Marines and being a part of them was something I'd dreamt about since I began reading all kinds of war books from the library. Anyhow soon I stood in a room with everyone else we were half naked except for our underwear. I had heard the gasp when I took my shirt off I didn't say a word nor did my face turn red with embarrassment. I felt better when one of the guys next to me nudged me with his elbow and told me to ignore the dumb fucks. I nodded.
My name was called and I stood on the footprints. The man yelled out height 6 even, waist 29 ½, hair color, Sandy brown or blonde. He stopped and looked up at me, "what color is your hair normally?"
I looked at him quickly, "blonde sir."
He yelled out, "hair color blonde."
He measured my inseam and called out 33 inches. Before he finished he measured my chest, arms, neck and head size before allowing me to get dressed once again. Soon as I dressed I ran outside and sat on the grass with the other guys in my platoon. They stopped talking as soon as I walked up. I sat down and less than a second later one of the guys asked me what happened. I told them the story, they all felt real bad and soon we were all talking about anything and everything. It felt good to have friends.
Twelve weeks passed, I graduated at the top of my class. I wanted to be the best Marine possible and that way the Marines would always want me. Two days after boot camp I arrived at Oceanside California, Camp Pendleton to continue my training. As soon as I got situated inside my barracks, I put on my running clothes and ran across the base it was fantastic. I got back in time to shower and have chow then I had a few days to myself. I caught the bus to the beach. I wore a pair of khaki shorts and a white T-shirt you couldn't see any of the scars on my body. For the next three days I went to the beach daily spending all my time swimming or laying in the sun. I always managed to find a place where I could be alone and take off my shirt. My hair in just three days was already lighter and my skin had a healthy dark tan to it. During the summers when I was a kid it only took me a day or two in the sun to be completely tanned. My mother use to tell me I was dark like my father but with her hair color. At Pendleton I knew most of the guys in my platoon. We all worked hard around the clock and when we had time to ourselves we went to the beach or found a pool hall to shoot a couple of games. I didn't drink or smoke and would never start, that wasn't me. And I didn't waste my money. When the guys started getting drunk I usually made my exit and walked along the beach or storefronts before heading back to base.
It was on one of my walks I met Corey Fisher. He was a Marine too. We bumped into each other neither of us paying any attention. We started talking and found out that we both came from Florida. We found a place to sit in a Sub sandwich place were we ate and talked for hours. It was late when we said goodnight. Corey asked if I wanted to crash out at his place but I said I needed to head back to base. He gave me his address and phone number we were going to go to the beach next weekend. I liked Corey and it felt good to have someone to talk to not in the platoon. The week went great I actually got up the nerve and called Corey, we talked for almost two hours, I couldn't believe I stood in the phone booth outside the barracks for that long. Saturday morning I caught the bus to the beach, the sun was already out and the warmth of the day felt great. I met Corey at the Sub Shop and we had coffee before walking down to the beach. As we walked I told Corey about being burned pretty badly, I didn't go into too much detail since I didn't want him to think I was some kind of freak. When we were far enough away down the beach I asked him if this was cool or too far away from everyone else.
He smiled "yeah this is great, we're friends I don't care where we put our stuff."
I looked at him and nodded my head.
Corey pulled out a Frisbee and threw it to me. I ran further back and threw it to him making him run some. We played for half an hour or more when Corey removed his shirt, I knew I was staring at him. For the first time in my life I felt something when I looked at another human being. Since I was a boy neither sex had ever made me feel anything now that I was looking at Corey I felt something and I became ashamed.
I heard him yell at me. "Chason throw the Frisbee."
Automatically I threw it, Corey ran for it almost into the water grabbing it before falling backwards into the surf. He stood up quickly and yelled. "I'll get you for that one." He was laughing.
I ran after his next throw ending up knee high in the surf. We stopped for a while to get a drink.
While we were topping off, Corey looked at me. "Chason take your shirt off, I'm going to see your scars sooner or later."
Slowly I removed my T-shirt my eyes never leaving Corey's face.
His expression never changed. The first words out of his mouth were, "Damn you lift weights?"
I grinned, "yeah all the time at the gym."
He smiled, "you can tell. You shouldn't be ashamed to go without a shirt the scars don't make you look any different. And as your friend, I'll say this now don't think I'm weird, but you're a really good looking guy be proud of that."
I nodded my head, "thanks." I grabbed the Frisbee and ran down to the water. I threw it back up to Corey who caught it and purposefully threw it over my head so I'd have to swim out. Before I got to it Corey was near me and we began to wrestle, he was strong and we were pretty evenly matched. We were exhausted by the time we walked up the beach and collapsed on our towels. We lay on our backs talking. Corey asked me a million questions and I answered them all. I came to find out that he was only 23 and had been a Marine for less than a year. When I asked him for more info he kind of became quiet and I didn't press. What I did learn was that he came from a pretty wealthy family his parents were both doctors. Other than that he wanted to talk about me. I told him about my family, the fire, everything, he was really sad by the loss of my family, then he turned and looked at me, "You turned out all right, I'm proud of you."
I punched him in the arm, "I'm proud of you too."
We ended up laughing like too high school kids. As the day wore on Corey asked me to come to his apartment, he said I could change there then we could grab a bite to eat and watch television. I nodded my head in agreement. His apartment was really nice, more like a condo. He showed me to his bedroom and the shower. He told me to get cleaned up and help myself to any thing in his dresser to wear. He closed the door and walked out, I heard the television as I undressed. Washing the sand off felt great I stepped from the shower, dried off then put the towel around my waist. I walked into his bedroom and looked through his drawers, I found a pair of shorts and a shirt, I was about to close the drawer when I saw a magazine in the bottom of the drawer, I moved the shirts away and saw two men naked holding each other. I could feel my face turning blood red. I hurriedly put the shirts back and closed the drawer. My mind was going fifty million miles an hour. I didn't care if Corey was gay but I didn't want him to think I was I'd never done anything with another person. At the same time I knew I liked Corey, I hadn't thought about it past that point. During the week I had dreamed that Corey let me hold him in my arms and run my fingers through his short hair, when I woke in the barracks I had messed up my underwear with my excitement. I dressed hurriedly and walked into the living room.
Corey smiled when I entered, "feel better?"
I was still nervous, "much better thanks for lending me some clothes."
He stood up as he walked by me he touched my shoulder and told me to make myself at home. I sat down where he had sat and watched him walk into the bedroom and close the door. I felt really comfortable and fell asleep. I'm not sure how long I had slept but Corey woke me announcing that Pizza was here. We watched a movie and talked until neither of us could stay awake. We decided we were both men and could crash in the same bed. I was wide-awake by the time we lay down in the dark. I turned on my side pulling my pillow in my arms, I whispered good night. Corey turned toward me lying on his side too. We fell asleep, I didn't dream and for once I felt at peace. It was late in the morning when I woke, I didn't move I opened my eyes and stared at Corey, he and I could be brothers by the way he looked. I felt something inside of me and I had the worst urge in the world to put my arms out and hold him tight, I put my arm out until my forearm touched the top of his head, I acted like I was asleep. Corey moved and soon his head lay on my arms, being brave I threw my other arm over his chest.
Corey opened his eyes and looked at me, "Chason will you hold me?"
I never said a word I pulled him in my arms and held him tight. After a while my fingers moved up the back of his neck, his breathing relaxed and he went back to sleep. I was too excited to sleep and ran my fingers over his back and shoulders always ending up in his hair, without realizing it my erection was pressing against Corey's thigh, I never noticed until I felt Corey's hand on me and then I acted like he had burned me. He pulled away quickly and apologized. I put my hand up to make him be quiet then I explained about my lack of experience with anyone and my indecision about who I was. Corey shook his head in understanding. Once more he laid his head on my arm, this time his lips were only an inch from my chest, he kissed my scars and told me that he was here for me when I wanted or needed him. I kissed the top of his head and shuddered. We spent the day together, never saying a word about what had happened this morning. At the end of the day I caught the bus back to the barracks, I didn't call Corey that evening I was too tired, there were a lot of things going on with me. The next week flew by I stayed so busy I never had time to worry about anything or even to think about anyone. Corey passed through my mind every minute but I wasn't going crazy over him yet. Saturday morning I caught the bus downtown having breakfast where Corey and I normally ate, I didn't tell him I would be there so the chances of meeting him there were few. There was so much going on inside my head. I'd never cared for anyone before. I mean I loved my brothers but that was so long ago I don't remember them now. Since then I've been happy and never worried about having someone. It just never occurred to me. In high school I met tons of girls but I felt nothing for them. On the track and basketball teams I had friends too but I never even thought about any of them the way I was beginning to think about Corey. My practical side would never let me get close to Corey, I'd only be a Pendleton another couple of months and then I'd ship out either to Iraq or Okinawa and that would be the end of Corey and that was something I didn't think I could handle emotionally right now. I ordered a breakfast burrito and a cup of coffee, I watched people going by thinking about nothing. A hand on my shoulder scared the shit out of me and I almost spilled my coffee.
Corey grabbed the cup quick and apologized, "Chason I'm sorry I had no intention of startling you."
I grinned, "you didn't I was about a million miles from here."
Corey looked at me then looked around, he seemed uncomfortable, and I followed his gaze across the room a guy Corey's age was waiting. He waved and Corey waved back.
I smiled at Corey, "It was good seeing you again."
He nodded "same here" and walked across the room and sat down.
Not wanting to seem in a hurry I sat there and slowly finished my breakfast and my coffee then I stood up and put a tip on the table. As I was leaving out the corner of my eye I saw a young woman go over and sit at the table with Corey and the other guy and for some reason it made me feel a hundred percent better. I walked outside and headed to the bus stop I was going to the beach. I was sitting on the bench when I heard a horn and looked up it was Corey, he smiled, "get in."
I jumped in the passenger seat.
He looked over at me, "you got time to talk?"
"Yeah, what's up?"
"Let me find a place to park and I'll tell you." Corey drove another twenty minutes before we were parked overlooking the beach, not another car was in sight. Corey turned in his seat and looked at me, "I like you Chason, I like you a lot. I don't think you feel the same way about me, but I wanted to tell you how I felt. When you didn't call I figured I'd made you uncomfortable and I wanted to apologize. I'd like it if we could remain friends."
I studied his face, "Corey I like you, I've never had sex or the feelings I'm experiencing thinking about you. The problem with me is that I'll be leaving in a couple of months and emotionally if I become attached to you it would kill me, it would be like losing my family again. I do like you I like you a lot you just have to understand that I'm not the type of guy to sleep with someone unless I truly love them I want more from life with someone I can love."
Corey's eyes had tears in them, he tried to smile, and "you're trying on purpose to make this Marine cry."
I punched him in the arm, "no I'm not, I don't want you unhappy for anything I swear that."
Corey touched the side of my face, "this sounds strange but you're the best thing that has happened to me ever."
Without thinking I put my hand on the back of his neck and pulled his head to my shoulder and told him we were friends and I'd watch out for him. I turned and kissed the side of his head gently as my fingers moved up and down his neck. When I let him go he sat up and looked at me, "thank you."
From that minute on we were inseparable, when I wasn't at work I was with Corey unless he was at work, we both worked all the time. When we did have time we spent that time running, working out, going to the beach and anything else. We were both becoming closer to each other. One night as we lay beside each other, I gently kissed Corey on the lips and before long he had opened his mouth and I was kissing him the feelings was indescribable. When we broke apart I was breathing like I'd run the marathon. Corey snuggled close to me and closed his eyes. I rested my head on my hand and watched him gently caressing the side of his face.
The day we had both dreaded came at last. I'd be leaving in three weeks for Iraq. Corey was devastated. I asked him when he'd be shipping out he looked at me. "Chason I thought you understood I'm permanently assigned here."
My forehead wrinkled and I knew he realized I didn't know anything about what he did, all this time I just figured that he was a regular Marine like me.
"Sit with me." Corey put his hand on my leg. "Chason, I'm a military attorney for the adjutant I just took it for granted that you knew."
"No I didn't know, we never talked about it I just figured you were a regular Marine like me."
"I am a regular Marine like you." Corey sat down.
We didn't talk for a few minutes before Corey looked at me, "does it make that much of a difference?"
"No but I should have known, it just means I don't know you as well as I thought I did."
I stood up and Corey pulled me back down beside him. "Chason I love you. I know you're leaving, but at least when you go you'll know someone back here loves you and worries about you."
Corey's word got to me I could feel my eyes stinging as I fought to keep from crying. He stood up and took my hand we walked back to the bedroom. Corey undressed completely as he stood before me naked I knew I wanted him. He lay on his back looking at me, "Chason I want you to make love to me just this once." Slowly he undressed me I couldn't fight him I wouldn't fight him. He was gentle and soon my erection was trying to enter him he cried out in pain and I stopped, it took a while before I was buried deep inside him the feeling more than anything I could have ever expected. As I began to move in him I reached down and ran my fingers over the top of his head letting my fingers feel the silkiness of his hair before pulling his lips to mine. As my tongue entered his mouth my erection moved deeper in him he cried out biting my lips, I felt his warmth between our bodies. He looked at me and my body shook and I filled him he cried out and once again his warmth coated our bodies. Then he began to cry, not the cry like I'm happy but the cry of a person who is so lost they don't know where to turn. I pulled him in my arms listening to him talk as his heart broke and when he calmed down I pulled from him, walking into the bathroom I cleaned up before returning and wiping Corey clean. I held him until the morning when we drove into work together.
On the day I was scheduled to fly out Corey dropped me at the airfield, I still couldn't tell Corey I loved him. He however told me he loved me completely and he would wait. I listened to him talk and thought to myself that we had known each other six months and we had had sex only once where I possessed him. Since then we had done nothing more but hold each other and I was unsure there could ever be more. I was in turmoil as I watched him pull away, I saw him watch me in the rearview mirror the urge to chase him down and say something more pushed at me but I pushed those thoughts out of the way.
Iraq. All I can say is it was exactly what my DI had said to expect the only thing I hadn't expected was to see Marines die. The first patrol I was on I was riding shotgun in a Humvee, we were passing through a poor neighborhood. Out of nowhere two boys no more than 15-opened fire on the Humvee, I immediately opened fire killing both of them. The driver stopped and we surveyed the area, I noticed that Will hadn't gotten out. I called out to him he didn't answer, the driver and I ran to the Humvee and looked in the back. Will had taken a bullet through his right eye, the back of his head was gone and the Humvee was soaked with blood. I yelled at the top of my lungs. Will was my friend. I didn't give a shit he was dead I crawled in the back and gently lay him in the back seat and held his hand as the driver called on the radio. I closed my eyes and prayed for Will's soul and the soul of the two boys I had killed. The following afternoon, I went down to the motor pool I had left my book in the Humvee. I walked around back to the garage, I watched a Marine use steam to clean out the back of the Humvee, the water running from the vehicle was red and foamy, I immediately turned around and ran back to the tent. I lay down and closed my eyes until I could control my breathing.
Consecutive patrols made me alert to any possibility, Will was always with me as I rode shotgun or walked close to buildings on the sidewalk. I would never feel comfortable in this country and I looked forward to going back to the world in another 11 months. I wrote to Corey telling him about Will and the things that I was seeing. He wrote back telling me he was afraid I might be hurt over here, he wondered if when I returned we could give living together a chance. I wrote him back and asked him if he was sure that he would love me and only me forever, not just for a year or five years for but all our years, even when we were old men. The next time I heard from Corey he sent me a box of stuff. I smiled as I opened up the sunglasses and other things I hadn't planned on. In the bottom of the box he put a letter and a small box. I opened the letter and began to read.
'Chason, there isn't a day that I don't worry about you. I thought I should tell you that I'm being released from my commission. I've notified the Marine Corps that I am a homosexual. I have you to thank for the realization that life is more important than one-night stands and being with people you know but down know. I learned from you what love is all about. I realize you may not be in love with me, but I do know that you care about me and I also think you care enough to want to be with me forever. I'm hoping in time you'll fall in love with me like I have with you. Yes, I want to have a relationship with you, I want to be held in your arms at night and to touch and taste every part of your body with the knowledge that I will be the only one to ever love you that way. I'm patient and I'll wait for you. If you have decided that I'm not what you see in your life, write me back and tell me and I'll move on, if I don't hear from you then I'll keep the apartment here until you come back home. If you need anything write me and let me know. Chason, I do love you with all my heart, I need you in my life and I hope you need me. Loving you always, Corey.'
As soon as I folded up his letter I wanted to fall apart. What he had written went to my heart. It was at that moment I knew I loved Corey, I loved him completely and the thought of being with him in a sexual way no longer scared me, it excited me. I wrote him back immediately.
'Corey, you are right I do love you with all my heart. Reading your letter made me realize how important you are to me and how much I need you to be my family, to love me and to let me love you. Corey wait for me please, don't let anything happen to you, you're all I think about and it scares the hell out of me that I'm not there to protect and watch over you. When I come home I'm never leaving you again, as God is my judge I'm not. Corey if you love me as you say then I want us to go up north and get married. I know it's sudden but if we're going to do this then we do it upfront. I don't want anything between us to be half assed if you love me then I'm asking that you marry me. I know that I can commit to you and only you, now you have to ask yourself the same question. I love you always, Chason.'
Over the next months our letters poured back and forth each letter carrying a small piece of our hearts to the other. At the same time that letters were coming back and forth I began dreaming of Corey all the time. I'd wake in the middle of the night from a dream where Corey's head rested on my stomach, my fingers moving through his silky hair, my erection would strain, Corey would lower his head and I'd exploded immediately, he would moan until there was nothing left then he'd lay back. I would crawl down his body taking all of him into my mouth, he would cry out as my fingers entered him, he would shake and flood my mouth with his seed. I'd look up at him and tell him how much he was loved. Corey would lie on his back and guide my erection inside him, he'd cry out as I filled him completely then he'd move in rhythm to my movements as I worked to please him. I grabbed the back of his head with my hands pulling him to me and kissing him deeply, he'd grind his hips onto my cock, springing to life it would swell more and Corey would begin to whimper, soon I had one hand on his head playing with his hair as my hips moved cramming every inch possible into him until he shook once more and screamed as the heat from my erection seared his intestines. I'd wake in the morning and my underwear would be filled with my orgasm.
Maybe it was the fact that we were seven thousand miles apart or maybe it was the fact that I was at war, but the one thing about me that had changed was my knowledge of love. I now felt love and wanted to love and worried about my love each day. I realized at the same time that I could return home and Corey could have someone else or maybe even have left never to be seen or heard from again. I understood that I would survive Iraq, what was even more astonishing was the fact that I now knew I could never survive without love, never.
The weather has been a real son of a bitch, at night it gets so cold you feel like you're freezing and during the day it can reach 115 and you feel like your clothes are baking you alive. I love warm weather but this is a little too much even for me. The time is going by pretty good. I've already served half of my fifteen-month tour. I'm looking forward to getting home. The other day when Corey wrote he asked me if I liked what he had sent in the box. I was so excited about his letter that I never looked in the small box. He had me scrambling going through my locker until I found the box. As I opened it my breath caught, Corey had sent me his Marine Corps Ring. I looked around me no one was real near I took a deep breath and closed my eyes for a minute trying to be my composure back. Slowly I put the ring on my finger, I looked at it about a million times that day and everyday thereafter. I wrote him back telling him I loved the ring and him sending it meant the world to me. The next time I had R&R I ordered a ring from the exchange catalogue. I had it delivered in my name to Corey's house. I didn't say a word about it. The next time a box came from Corey as I looked through everything I saw a picture of Corey that was all it took to bring tears to my eyes. I stopped everything I was doing until I settled down I couldn't let the guys see me crying. Once I was better I looked through the box, he'd written me a bunch of cards and a letter. The first card I opened was a funny card, inside he'd written I will always love you Corey. I laughed at the card and my heart felt so proud. I finally got a chance to read the letter.
"Chason, the ring you sent means more than anything in the world to me. I'm in love and I love you completely. I'm going to get a job here in the area working for a law firm it will keep me busy and when you get home if you want to go to school or something you won't have to worry about money. I want you to know that I've only been with two other guys in my life and I didn't love either of them, I love you. Please come home safe, I worry about you all the time. Love you always, Corey."
He always made me smile when he wrote. The next day I bought a throw away camera and got the guys to take like 20 pictures of me everywhere on base. The last picture was of my five best friends and me we had our helmets on and our weapons slung over our shoulder, yes we looked like bad Asses. The exchange took almost two weeks to get them developed once I had them in my hands I wrote Corey a long letter telling him I loved him as well as sending him the pictures and a few other things I had bought for him including a watch. I wrote that nothing mattered to me but him and I loved him with all my heart forever.
Patrols have gotten really dangerous here lately, the weather gets fucked up and the Iraqi insurgents know how to use that to their advantage. We've lost three guys in the last five months; it has been really hard to go from someone sleeping in the rack next to you to the rack being empty. We always leave the rack for the replacements it is bad luck otherwise. I'm really starting to worry about making it out of Iraq and back home to Corey.
The other night on patrol I was walking point when... (To be continued)