For the two years following Sam's death, everything I did was overshaddowed by the deep sense of loss I felt and couldn't seem to get over. Billy was a wonderful lover and companion to me. It was different than being with Sam, but I loved him, and he loved me.
I talked to uncle Jim about it. There was such a big hole in my life, and I didn't know what to do with it. Uncle Jim said that Sam was my friend and lover for half my life. Moving on with my life wasn't a denial of the love I shared, but a testimony of the love I had. He said it would get better, and Sam would always be a part of me.
I went home, and Billy had made dinner for the boys. I wasn't hungry. Billy came in the room. We got undressed and he just lay there with me. He was no where as hairy as Sam, but the hairy places were very hairy and it excited me. I played with his pits as we chatted. His cock got hard and precum formed at the tip. I sucked his big balls and told him I needed him. He kissed me passionately as he thrust his big cock inside me. I groaned, loving his big cock inside me. He thrust harder and faster and said he loved me. I wrapped my legs around his and felt his smooth ass. He thrust hard as he shot his load deep inside me. He pulled out and licked my cum off me. I cuddled with him and told him how glad I was he was in my life.
Billy was still in nursing school. He had several other gay classmates, and wanted to invite them to family dinner. Family dinner was something we started a few years ago. We did it once a month on Saturday evening. My uncles came, and the boys dressed up, and we had a formal meal. Since Jeff was living with us, he naturally came as well. I told Billy to invite his friends if he didn't think the commotion would scare them off.
Billy's friends took the bus and came on time. Rick was a quiet spoken young man with a wicked sense of humor. Glen was a loud flamboyant guy, who could have been a drag queen if he wanted. He was highly dramatic. When we sat at the table, I sat them on either side of Jeff. Billy doubled over laughing when he saw that. All through dinner, we watched Glen throwing himself at Jeff, and Jeff politely trying to get away. Jeff looked like a caged animal. Rick tried to talk, but couldn't get a word in edgewise. Jeff offered to drive them home.
After they left, we all burst out laughing. Billy said Glen did everything but suck his cock. The boys and I were hysterical. Jim pulled me aside and said there will still be good times, new ones, and they will be added to what was before.
Billy and I waited up for Jeff. He didn't come home until 3am. When he walked in, he said, Oh my goodness! We asked what happened. He said Glen wouldn't shut up. We started laughing. He said he dropped Glen off first. After that he had a long talk with Rick, and they really like eachother. Billy and I both said AND? He said and we have a date tomorrow night. I said I was surprised he would like someone like Rick. Jeff said what he likes in me, he likes in Rick. I gave him a hug and we went to sleep.
Billy and I locked the door and got undressed. He sucked my cock as he massaged my chest. He lay behind me and thrust his hard cock inside me. He kissed my neck and said I had been putting him off for two years, please marry me. He reached around and stroked my cock as he moved in and out of me. I loved Billy; differently than I loved Sam, but I loved him with equally great passion. I realized at that moment what my uncle said. I wasn't replacing Sam with Billy, Billy was another good experience built on the foundation I had with Sam. It finally made sense to me. As I was shooting my load I said loudly, "Yes I'll marry you." Billy shot a huge load inside me and hugged me. He was crying. I started to cry as well. We fell asleep holding each other.
We got up and we're getting ready for church. We all got in the van, and I told the boys Billy and I were getting married. One of the boys, and smart ass, said they know, they all heard us last night. Billy and I blushed. Jeff just chuckled as he drove.
After services, I told my mom and my uncles that Billy and I were engaged. They were happy, not just for the wedding, but because they knew I had worked past my issues.
Jeff and Rick had been seeing eachother for a few weeks. He came out one Saturday and joined us in the pool. I don't think he was used to the total nudity, but he got used to it. He had a lightly hairy chest and legs, a nice brown bush, and hairy pits. He checked out everyone trying not to be obvious and tried to hide his erection. His cock was more like mine which may be why he hung out with me. I told him not to bother hiding his hardon. He took his hands away and I said nice. A few of the boys gave his cock and tug, and mine too. Rick had that, "what's going on?" look on his face. I reminded him this is a home for gay teens. They all suck each other like it's a handshake. Fucking is not unusual here. Feeling your cock and even stroking you is just checking out the new guy. I explained that we don't suck or fuck with the boys. When someone gets hard here, the other boys are welcome to stroke your cock, and you are welcome to stroke theirs. It's kind of like saying I trust you. I reached over and stroked his cock and played with his balls. He moaned as little and asked if I was trying to make him cum. I said I could if he wanted, but I really wanted to see if he trusted me. He said he did and let me continue to jerk him off. He wrapped his hand around my cock and stroked me. He asked if I liked him feeling my cock and I said I did. He said he liked me feeling him too. Some of the boys joined us and there was a circle jerk. We switched partners several times. Billy and Jeff were stroking each other as they were talking and Rick saw how big their cocks were.
After the circle jerk was over, Rick quietly asked me if getting fucked by a larger cock is painful. I told him it's uncomfortable the first time or two, but it gets a lot better. I realized that Jeff hadn't fucked him yet. I was impressed. Later I asked Jeff about it. He said he really likes Rick, and wants him, but he wants to be sure that Rick feels the same way, and he didn't want to screw things up. I was so impressed with Jeff. I told him I think Rick is ready. They disappeared into Jeff's room for about an hour before dinner.
Later, Rick and Jeff came back to the pool. I quietly asked Rick how things went. He said he was a little sore, but it was amazing. He asked how I knew. I said by the dopey expressions on their faces, and the way Rick was walking. Rick laughed. Jeff cooked the burgers on the grill and we had a great afternoon.
That night, as we were getting ready for bed, Billy was standing in front of me naked. I ran my fingertips through his dense, wide bush as I kissed him. I loved his big, low hanging balls and sucked them. The smell of his crotch was intoxicating. I sucked his cock and felt his hairy armpits. I told him I was blessed to have him as the man in my life. He ate my ass and slid his thick cock inside me. He started thrusting and said he loved me more than anything. He fucked me long and slow and I shot my load. He kept pounding me until he cummed. He knew I loved him.
One afternoon, Rick came by with Billy after school. Billy said Rick wanted to talk with me privately. I went for a walk with Rick. He told me he and Jeff were getting pretty serious. They fuck all the time, and spend a lot of time together. He went on to say that he knew that Jeff had been with a lot of guys, but he had only been with two others. He wondered if he should get more experience before he got more serious with Jeff. I told him I had only been fucked by four men in my entire life. The first two were friends, the third was my husband, and the fourth was Billy. It doesn't matter how many guys you have been with, but how much you love the guy you are with. I asked Rick if he was really ready to be fucked by Jeff alone, or hungry to experience other cocks. I said we had a house full of boys who would be more than happy to let you feel their cocks in your ass. Rick sort of laughed, but I said I was serious. Look at their cocks. Nice hard hairy teen cocks full of cum. They will be happy to let you suck them, and they would be happy to fuck you. He looked at me surprised and said no. He wanted Jeff, and only Jeff. I smiled and said he didn't need more experience. He was enough for Jeff, and Jeff was enough for him. We walked back to the house and he disappeared into Jeff's room.
Billy and I planned our wedding. I didn't want to get married in the church; too many memories. We decided Rainbow House made more sense. My uncles would be there and uncle Jim would do the ceremony. The boys would be there. Jim would be best man. Billy suggested Glen be maid of honor and we broke up laughing. Jeff pleaded with us to not invite him. I said Rick was a better choice.
The wedding was just what we wanted. We rented a cabin for our honeymoon, and the Uncles stayed with the boys.
When we got to the cabin, Billy wanted to take a shower, but I wouldn't let him. I said I loved his natural scent. It made me feel like I was being fucked by a man and not a boy. I kissed him as I removed his shirt, sniffing and licking his pits. I felt his hard cock straining in his pants and undid his pants and pulled them down with his boxers. The sight of his hard thick cock and big low hanging balls excited me. The scent of his crotch made me horny. He held me and kissed me passionately and undressed me. He tenderly caressed me and lay on top of me on the bed. I parted my legs and he slid his thick hard cock inside me. He kissed me and said I was really his. I moaned as I enjoyed his cock moving in and out of me. I said there is nothing as good as being fucked by the man I love. He said he loved being that man. He shot a huge load inside me and kept his cock inside me until he got soft. We made love until we were exhausted. We were happy.
When we got home, uncle Teddy asked how things went. I told him it was strange that the boy I took care of was now the man I couldn't live without. He smiled and said it's funny how that works.
Two days later, a new boy came to live with us. His name was Lee. Lee was Asian, a bit chubby, and a habitual bottom. He had started having sex when he was 15. He had a 14 year old neighbor with a big cock. They jerked off together. His neighbor loved stroking his cock, and Lee loved sucking him. It wasn't long before he started fucking Lee. Eventually his parents found out and told him he was shaming the family. Lee ran away from home several times and was eventually put in foster care. He was placed with us. He fit in pretty well, and followed the rules. He was an excellent cook, so that became his job. I knew Lee was happy to be at Rainbow house, but he still didn't feel like he fit in.
I woke up around 2AM one morning and found him sitting alone on the couch. When I woke up in the middle of the night, I usually didn't throw on any clothes. I sat down next to Lee on the couch and asked what was wrong. He said he felt lonely. I put my arm around him. He felt my chest and snuggled into me. His cock got hard and I lay my hand between his legs and felt his pubes and his cock. He opened his legs and I stroked his cock while he reached over and stroked mine. I said I really liked that he let me stroke his cock. He said he really liked me feeling his cock and liked feeling mine too. I said he was always welcome to play with my cock. It was like a bonding was developing between us. I said I was getting close to cumming. He said he was too. He asked if he could eat my cum. It was against the rules but we bent them sometimes. I said he could have my cum if I could have his. He smiled and we got into a 69 position and sucked each other's cocks. We erupted about the same time and both swallowed. Lee hugged him for a long time and went to sleep.
I came back to bed and told Billy the whole story. He hugged me and chuckled, reminding me that he was one of the boys here, and he sucked every other boy here when he was a resident. He said sometimes a good blow job is important for affirmation, so trading blow jobs doesn't bother him. he had traded blow jobs with a few of the boys to make them feel welcome. Billy kissed me and said all this talk about cock sucking made him horny. I sucked his cock, and he thrust it inside me. As he pounded me, he said he was the only one who gets to do this.
Lee and I sucked each other's cocks and we both thoroughly enjoyed it. It went on for a week or so and then he met Steve.
He became friendly with Steve, a hairy 17 year old who was attracted to him. They were checking each other out at the pool and Lee told Steve he was horny and asked if could help him out. He loved feeling Steve's hairy body against him and his thick hard cock inside him. It was love at first fuck. He loved sucking Lee's tits while he thrust his big cock in and out of him. They switched rooms so they could be together.
Steve's situation was different. He came from a very poor family. His parents didn't care about him being gay, but they couldn't afford to have him around. He was on the street using his cock to make money. When he was arrested, he was taken to us. He has been with us for two years, and found a home with us.
Lee was actually the first boy Steve got serious about. He watched my relationship with Billy, and wanted to be with someone he loved. He didn't love Lee, but he liked him a lot, and that was a start, he told me.
Billy and I talked with Steve and Lee one afternoon in the pool. I cautioned them to take things slow. I said it's easy to fall in love with a big cock instead of the guy it's attached to. Steve pointed out that Billy had a pretty large cock and he's sure I enjoy it. I said Billy has an amazing cock and I enjoy every inch of it, but I loved him as a person long before we started fucking. I explained that fucking expresses our love, it doesn't create it. Billy was excited by the conversation, and his cock was dripping. He got on top of me on the lounge chair and pulled my legs up he thrust his big cock inside me as the boys gathered around and stroked each other's cocks. Most of them had watched us fuck at one time or another so I lay back and enjoyed my husband's big cock inside me. He kissed me and I shot my load as our boys shot theirs as they observed our passion. Billy shot a huge load inside me. The boys watched his cum trickle out of me.
Steve and Lee continued to fuck, but they also worked on chores together and helped each other study for their GEDs. They fell in love along the way.
Meanwhile, Rick and Jeff were getting pretty serious and talked to us about getting married. They wanted to get married at Rainbow house, because we were his family, and Rick would move in with Jeff. He could catch a ride to school with Billy. It sounded fine with us. Billy said if Rick became part of our community, he needed to help out with chores. Rick was agreeable to that.
A month later, we had another wedding. Jeff asked me to be best man. Uncle Jim did the ceremony. Everyone liked Rick, and he made a great husband to Jeff.
We formed a non profit corporation to oversee and raise support for Rainbow House. At first, not much came in, but one of our alumni, now a famous artist in Greenwich Village, Chaz, who painted our Mural, donated the proceeds from an expensive painting to cover our needs. Other gay celebrities followed his lead. We were able to build. We added a wing to accommodate more boys. We made a new kitchen. We got a larger van and even had an in ground pool built. After 10 years, I finally got an actual salary, and we had money in the bank to do what we needed.
Rainbow House was filled to capacity and we had to turn people away, which was heartbreaking. With the extra funds that came in, we built a second house on the property. Jeff and Rick became the house parents.
Jeff and Rick made great house parents and the boys loved them. One of the boys who came to live with them was Juan, a chubby hispanic boy. When he came out to his family, the men of his family gang raped him repeatedly. It left him traumatized. He kept to himself. He liked jerking off with Rick, and they would lay in bed together naked and stroke eachother and talk. Rick gently fondled him and they enjoyed sucking each other's cocks. He gradually opened up. Rick and Jeff let Juan stay in their room when they made love so he could have a positive image of sex, and he often hugged them afterwards.
Eventually, Juan became friends with Todd, a tall skinny blond boy who lived in our house. They were attracted to each other and were inseparable. Todd loved Juan's curvy brown body and Juan loved Todd's hairy blond body and his big cock. Todd was very gentle when he slid his cock inside Juan, and Juan loved feeling Todd inside him.
They were two sweet, gentle boys caught up in their passion. We loved watching them hold hands as they walked around the grounds. Everyone knew they were hands off and respected their relationship.
Juan and Todd had gotten serious about each other and wanted to talk with me as a social worker. We talked about relationships and what they needed to make them work. Love is great, but you have to make a living. I said they were fine while they lived here, but the real world is harder. They said when it was time to go they would find something.
Our boys had a high job placement rate in our community, so it wouldn't be a problem. They seemed pretty stable and happy, so I kept monitoring the situation. Eventually they got jobs in a gay owned factory in town, got married, and got their own apartment.
On the night of Billy's graduation, after the party the boys threw, I put my arm around Billy, my hot stud, and asked if he was going to dress up as a nurse for me. He said if I wanted to play nurse, he'd have to insert his thermometer. He kissed me and undressed me feeling my body as we kissed. I undressed him and sniffed his pits. He bent me over and ate my ass while he tugged on my balls. I lay on my back and pulled my legs up and he slid his big thick cock inside me. I called him the man of my heart. He kissed me tenderly as I surrendered my manhood to his. We moaned softly as he moved in and out of me. As always, I shot my load and he shot his inside me.
The biggest test for me came when we received Zack. He was a gay street kid that was referred to us. He was skinny and very hairy, and reminded me of Sam when he was 16. I spoke with Billy, and told him I was thinking of moving Zack to Jeffs house because if Zack wanted to fuck me, I didn't think I could resist. Billy kissed me and said he trusted me to do the right thing. Zack stayed in our house, and we got pretty close. We would lay in bed together while I felt his hairy body and sucked his cock. He sucked my cock and loved feeling me. One afternoon he got on top of me rubbing his crotch into mine. I so wanted to feel him inside me. I was ready to tell him to go ahead, when something went off in my head. Sam would never have fucked another man's husband. He reminded me of Sam, and how much I loved and missed him, but he wasn't Sam, he was just a horny teen. I told him no. We sucked each other's cocks and he left.
I told Billy what happened, and he kissed me. He thrust his big cock inside me and fucked me long and slow. I said I didn't want to be fucked by a ghost when I had the man I love. I asked what he would have done if Zack had fucked me. He said he knew I was reminicing about Sam, and he felt I needed it. He also knows me well enough to know that I would know that Zack is not Sam, and Zack doesn't love me. Sam did, and Billy does.
I stopped playing with Zack, and he messed around with the other boys. I made up my mind to never let another boy get that close to me again.
A few days later, I got a call from Uncle Teddy. Uncle Jim passed away in his sleep. Billy and I rushed over there. Uncle Teddy was unconsolable. We stayed with him and Billy monitored his vital signs. He was hanging in there but not well. We got through the funeral together, and had a serious talk. Billy and I had talked about it before, and asked Uncle Teddy to move in with us at Rainbow house. I told him I need him around, and he needs us too. He was fighting it, but when I said the boys need a grandfather figure, he relented, and moved in with us. Having been through the grieving process, he knew I understood. It was therapeutic for him to be with us, because the boys loved him and would come to him with their problems.
One of our alumni, Peter, became the new Pastor. He was totally supportive of Rainbow House. We tried to set uncle Teddy up on dates with Older guys in the congregation, but he wasn't very interested. I understood that. He was content being grandpa to our boys, and a dad me Billy and me.
Billy and I lay in bed together. We treasured each other, and I thanked him for being such an amazing husband. We had come a long way together. It wasn't the life I imagined, but it was a very good life just the same.