This is a romantic tale about love between males. If that is offensive to you, or if it is not legal for you to read it at your age or where you live, then consider yourself warned!
All people, places and events described here are strictly a product of the author's imagination, and the copyright for this story belongs to the author.
A special thanks to my friend Tim for editing and encouragement...
All comments are welcome and all mail will be answered promptly. Enjoy...
sanansaattaja2003@yahoo.com
Sam, chapter 3
The weather had changed drastically during the night, turning without warning from beautiful Indian summer into full-fledged winter. Jay, miserable and feeling sorry for himself, had to bend nearly double into the biting north wind to keep from being blown over backwards as he laboriously made his way to school. Soggy, wind driven leaves and icy sleet pelted him like bullets, stinging his cheeks and forehead, soaking his clothes and his bare head and making it nearly impossible to see through his glasses. He had stuck his armload of school books inside of his light windbreaker jacket in hopes of keeping them from being completely drenched and he was wishing that the already nearly saturated jacket did a better job of protecting him from the cold and wet as well. He was shivering violently by the time he got to the school, his slight body chilled to the bone.
As soon as he stepped through the door into the warm air of the school his cold, sleet-plastered lenses fogged over, leaving him totally blinded. While he stood there unseeing, just inside the door, wondering how he would ever find his way through the throng of students to his locker without being able to see where he was going, someone grabbed his arm and said, "Jay! I've been waitin' for ya to show up." And then, a bit louder... "Oh my goodness! Here, let me help you with your books so you can get those glasses off. They're not doin' you much good steamed up like that!"
He was startled, naturally, and tried frantically for a moment to figure out whose voice it was. It was a girl, but who? And then it dawned on him. Sam! She had hardly ever really spoken to him before, believe it or not. She unzipped his jacket and lifted his books out from under his arm and then, tugging the drenched windbreaker clear off of him, she exclaimed, "But Jay! You're practically soaked to the skin! And you're freezing! You're shaking like a leaf! We've gotta get somethin' dry on ya or you'll get sick for sure. I'll tell ya what... I've got an extra sweater in my locker. Come and take off that wet shirt and put it on. Quick!" And then without waiting for him to stammer out a reply, she took hold of his arm again and steered him along the corridor toward her locker.
As soon as she had worked the combination lock and pulled open her locker she pushed him gently back so that he was half hidden behind the door and told him to shed his shirt. He started to protest, but she just began unbuttoning it and then pulled it back from his shoulders and down off of his arms. Jay was blushing furiously. It had been years since anyone else (his mother actually) had last helped him undress, and here was a girl he didn't really know -- a girl, mind you! -- taking his shirt off of him, and not only that, but she was doing it practically in front of the whole student body! He was glad that she was taller than he and that she was standing in front of him, partially hiding him from view. His t-shirt was damp too, clinging to his shoulders and slim chest like a second skin, and his nipples, stiff from the cold, were clearly visible, all but poking through the thin layer of cotton. Sam stooped down suddenly and started rummaging in a duffel bag in the bottom of her locker, then pulled out her gym towel and stood up again. Before Jay knew what was happening, she had pulled the tail of his t-shirt free from inside his trousers and stuck the towel up under it, rubbing and warming his stomach and chest, and then his back. Once that was done, she let his t-shirt drop back down and then vigorously toweled his dripping wet hair. Finally she dried his face, gently, almost caressingly, and then, wonder of wonders, she leaned closer and planted a soft kiss on the end of his nose! Poor Jay thought he would die of embarrassment! A warm rush ran through his whole body, like he was blushing from the top of his head to the tips of his toes. His face was burning red anyway!
Sam hung the now-damp towel on a hook in her locker and then pulled out a bulky knit woolen pullover and handed it to him. "Here, put this on, Jay. It should fit you not too badly anyway." Thank goodness, she let him do that for himself! He was already feeling enough like a little child after the way she had just worked him over, but he felt strangely good about it all too. Comforted. He had that wonderful warm feeling you get when you realize someone really likes you and cares about you. Sadly enough, he hadn't ever gotten too much of that kind of assurance in his young life.
"Fortunately the sweater isn't pink!" Jay thought to himself. But he needn't have worried; pink wasn't really Sam's color either. It was a rather muted shade of green and actually looked quite good on him, even if it was too long and hung down clear to his crotch. Best of all, it was wonderfully warm -- just what he needed after having gotten so thoroughly chilled on his way to school.
"Thank you, Sam," he murmured softly, still feeling embarrassed and unable to look her in the eye.
"You're welcome, sweetie!" she replied, and then added, "Any friend of Lee's is a friend of mine. And especially as good a friend as you... And as cute!"
Jay really did blush then and hung his head even lower, staring at the floor. But then he jerked suddenly like he'd gotten an electrical shock. She'd called him sweetie! That's just the kind of word his dad would have flung at him, but giving a nasty twist to it, of course. Quickly he looked up at her to see if she was sneering as well. But no, she was just gazing at him with warmth and affection in her eyes. She really did like him! He relaxed then, and rather than dropping his eyes again, he met her gaze, feeling himself drawn into the sincere acceptance and yes, love, that he saw reflected there.
"By the way, Jay, Lee told me to tell you hello from him. Sorry to say, he's sick today. He woke up with a terrible sore throat and his mom made him stay home. I live right next door to him, ya know, and we always walk to school together, so I stopped by like I usually do to say hi to his mom before we head out and that's when I found out he couldn't come. He was lyin' on the couch lookin' awful pathetic, poor thing, but he smiled anyway when he mentioned your name. Actually, he lit up like a thousand watt bulb! I'm tellin' ya, he's really got it bad for ya, sweetie! Yeah, he said to tell you hello. And then he said, tell ya what, Sam. You give him a kiss and a hug from me too! So you still got that comin', Jay. That little peck on the nose wasn't from him. That was from me. He wouldn't be satisfied to just kiss you like that, now would he?"
And of course, Jay blushed again! A whole crowd of emotions rushed through his being while Sam was making that little speech. Sadness that Lee was sick, and almost gut-wrenching disappointment that he wouldn't be at school that day, that he wouldn't get to see him, be with him, hear his voice, feel his touch... Worry for him, and love for him, elation at being remembered by him; goose bumps at the very thought of Lee wanting to send him a kiss and a hug; but then scalding embarrassment again to hear Sam, a girl, talking so casually, so matter-of-factly about Lee's love for him... Poor Jay, part of him wanted to just crawl right into the locker behind him and pull the door shut and hide. But there was no hiding.
"Jay, sweetie, please don't be embarrassed," Sam said then, softly, soothingly. "Lee loves you so much and because of that I love you too. I'm so happy for you both I could burst. I've never seen Lee so happy. He's my best friend, you know. I've always loved him and I always will. He's like the other half of me. I don't think I can explain it. But I'm not his girlfriend so you don't have to be jealous of me and I'll never be jealous of you. Please understand that. I hope you and I can be friends too, Jay. Please trust me, and please feel free to tell me anything you want to. Now, I've gotta run. I'll give ya Lee's kiss and hug later, I promise! Someplace where the whole school can't see! We wouldn't want them to get the wrong idea, now, would we? And one more thing, Jay. Let's eat lunch together. OK? You know I always eat lunch with Lee. Well, of course Lee isn't here today. But even if he was, we would want you to eat lunch with us. The three of us together. We gotta stick together now, don't we?"
And then, suddenly, she was gone, off to her first period class. Jay had to hurry too, to get to his own locker and deposit his books and hang up his wet shirt and jacket. Then he just barely had time to get to his class before final bell, half running down the now all but empty corridor, a tumbling jumble of at least a million different thoughts and feelings, most of them good, churning around inside of him.
Jay's three morning classes passed by in a blur. If he had been asked at lunchtime to tell what had been covered in the lectures he would hardly have been able to come up with anything. He had been so preoccupied. Luckily his teachers had all seemed to forget his existence and none of them called on him. Apparently he had been able to give at least the appearance of paying attention and hadn't attracted any unwanted notice to himself so that he had been left undisturbed to his reverie.
And what a reverie! It was no wonder, really, that his thoughts were all a-jumble, because the past twenty four hours of his life had literally seen his world turn up-side-down. At that time the previous day he was still sure that his idol, the secret love of his life, intelligent, funny and fun-loving, tall and (in his eyes anyway) handsome, and best of all, warm- and kind-hearted Lee, was completely out of reach. There was no way in the world that he would or could ever return, even in a measure, the feelings that Jay had for him. Lee was in love with Sam, after all. They were a couple, and he could never come between them. Besides that, Sam was so charming and full of life and wonderful that Lee would definitely choose her over him anytime, even if he did by some miracle have any feelings for mousy little Jay. And that was impossible, wasn't it, because Lee was all boy -- as masculine as they come, and he liked girls, not boys. Jay had blessed his lucky stars and Mrs. French, their history teacher, over and over and over the last couple of weeks for throwing the two of them together to work on that project. Before that, he was sure he was destined forever to just look and yes, lust, and adore and worship from a safe distance, never being able to even speak to Lee or attract his attention. And admit it; Lee had hardly ever so much as looked in his direction before that, had he? But thanks to that research project that caused them to spend so much time together, they had at least gotten to know each other and had become friends. That in itself was more than Jay had ever dared to hope for, and the thought that it would possibly go further than that hadn't even occurred to him. It just wasn't in the realm of possibility at all, and Jay was nothing if not realistic. He had an uncanny ability to just accept the facts, the grim realities of his life, as shitty as they were, and to not aspire to more than sound reason told him was attainable. Oh, he could dream, all right. And dream he did. Continually. But at the same time, he knew it was just dreams, not reality.
But yes, the past twenty four hours had changed everything. Jay's life had totally and irrevocably changed. Not only was he in love, but his beloved Lee was also in love with him! And they had expressed their love for each other, both physically and verbally, and had become a couple! Incredible! And now, to top everything, Sam -- Lee's wonderful Sam -- had also confirmed Lee's feelings for him and had given them her blessing. Oh God, was this all just a dream? Suddenly that awful thought intruded and seized his brain, giving him a momentary feeling of panic. What if he woke up all of a sudden and realized he had only been dreaming it all? At that moment, mercifully, the bell rang, marking the end of third period. The sharp peel of the bell startled him, though, causing him to jump and to gasp out loud so that two or three of the other kids gave him a queer look. He just ignored them, gathering up his papers and his book, hastily exiting the classroom and making a dash for his locker. He wanted to be as early as possible at the door of the lunchroom so as to be waiting for Sam when she got there. She had invited him to eat with her and he felt an almost weird exhilaration at the prospect. None of the kids had ever invited him to join them for lunch before. He was just that mousy, timid little new kid who always faded into the background in social situations, never imposing himself on others and just taking for granted that no one would bother with him either. He had always sat alone at lunch before, but at the same time had always tried to find a place as close (and yet unobtrusive) as possible to Lee and Sam.
Jay waited for five minutes or more, and was beginning to think Sam wouldn't show up after all, but finally he saw her sauntering down the hall toward him, flanked on either side by girlfriends, chatting and laughing. He shrank instinctively back against the wall, thinking that Sam wouldn't be overly keen to acknowledge him when she was with those girls. It was no big deal. After all, he was used to that. But he couldn't help but feel a stinging disappointment at the same time.
By then, Sam and her girlfriends were almost beside him and he could hear one of the girls say, "You're gonna eat with us then, aren't ya, Sam, since Lee's not here today? I'm just dyin' to tell you girls about what..."
"No, sorry, Mandy, I've promised to eat with someone else," Sam interrupted, looking around to see if Jay was there waiting for her. "You girls go on ahead. I'll just wait here."
Mandy's and the other girl's eyes widened in surprise and then narrowed again, speculatively. But they just shrugged once, nonchalantly, and linked arms and went on into the lunchroom, not looking back. Sam stood there gazing up and down the hall, close enough to Jay for him to reach out and grab her, and yet not seeing him.
"Sam," he whispered, and she gave a little jump.
"Oh!" she almost yelped. "There you are! Ya been waitin' here long?"
"Nah..." Jay replied. And then, "You sure ya don't wanna eat lunch with your girlfriends, Sam? It's alright. Besides, I'm used to eating alone. I don't mind..."
"Nonsense, Jay!" Sam exclaimed. "And listen to their insipid gossip for another half an hour? Spare me!" Whereupon she gave an exaggerated shudder and then continued, "I'd much rather talk to you, sweetie, and look at that cute face of yours while we talk about Lee. I wish you could see yourself, see into your own eyes, whenever you or anyone else is talkin' about him! You're so-o-o-o sweet, you know that? Er... well, no, I guess you don't know it, and that's exactly what makes you doubly so! Sweet and innocent. You've got no idea how cute you are, do ya, Jay? And how precious... I feel like such a booby for not making an effort weeks ago to get to know you. I've been the loser, believe me. Lee and I were talking about that on the phone last night. We could just kick ourselves, and we pity the rest of the kids in this school too, cuz by just ignoring ya like you don't even exist, they're missin' out on one of the most meaningful friendships they could have in their shallow little lives."
At that, Sam paused a moment to draw a breath, and then said, "Goodness, sweetie, I do carry on, don't I? Sorry... No, come on, let's hurry before they shut down the lunch line." And she grabbed a hold of Jay's arm and pulled him along into the lunchroom. All the other kids were eating by that time and when the two of them came in together to get their trays and go through the line, nearly every eye was on them. Jay felt acutely self conscious and almost wished the floor would open up and swallow him right then and there. But Sam, bless her heart, was totally cool and unconcerned, ignoring everyone's curious stares and not caring a whit about all the whispered comments passing between the other students. When Jay sensed her coolness about it, he too relaxed and pulled back his shoulders and lifted his head, beaming up at her, proud to be identified in front of everyone like that as her friend. Someone worth her notice and yes, even worth her esteem and love. He thought at that moment that he would surely burst with pride. When would things stop getting better and better? He felt like he had to pinch himself every few minutes to make sure he really was awake and not dreaming.
Sam had said that she and Jay could talk about Lee while they ate lunch, but their conversation took off in a different direction instead. Jay made some comment about the miserable weather and how quickly it had turned cold and Sam asked, "Don't you have any warmer coat, Jay? That thin little jacket ya had on this morning is entirely inadequate for this kind of weather."
"Boy, is it ever!" Jay agreed. "I thought I'd freeze to death! And it got soaked through in no time too..."
"But surely you've got something better, haven't you?"
"No, I'm afraid not. Where we lived before, that one was good enough," Jay answered, and then added, "Well, most of the time anyway... I've never lived this far north before."
"Well in that case you're gonna hafta get a new winter coat, and a cap and gloves and boots as well. Otherwise you'll never survive our winter here," Sam declared, leaving no room for argument.
Jay knew she was right but he didn't say any more. He just sat there eating slowly, looking glum and staring at some spot on the table between them.
Finally Sam prompted him, "What're ya thinkin' about, sweetie?"
Jay heaved a big sigh then and looked up at her, his eyes glistening. "Mom said at breakfast this morning that from the looks of the weather they'd have to be getting winter coats and boots for my sister and me, but Dad just shot her down saying, `There's no money to get em with, so forget it.' Then Mom clammed up like she always does and nothing more was said. So I guess I'll have to make do with what I've got... for now anyway."
Sam just pursed her lips into a tight, straight line and shook her head slowly, but she didn't divulge what she was thinking.
Suddenly Jay said, "I never really thanked you for helping me this morning, Sam. I guess you took me so by surprise and I got so embarrassed, I didn't think to say thank you. I don't know what I'd've done without you. And thanks for loaning me your sweater too. It was a life saver."
"You bet kiddo! Don't mention it. What are friends for anyway, if not to look out for each other? I couldn't let ya die on us now, could I? Just when I'm finally learning to know you and findin' out what a darling you are. And besides, Lee would kill me if I hadn't been there for ya, sweetie, believe me! He'll be callin' me on the carpet as soon as I see him again, demanding a thorough account."
By the time Sam finished that little speech, the tears that had been glistening in Jay's eyes were trickling down his cheeks.
"You're welcome to the sweater, Jay," Sam continued. "I've got several. In fact, I've got one at home that would fit you better. The one you've got on is way too long. I kinda like to see your crotch, you know! Mustn't cover up the goodies!" and then she winked at him, enjoying the crimson blush that spread over his face.
After a moment's silence, Sam said, "Hey, listen, Jay. Do you hafta go straight home from school?"
"Well... No. Lee and I've usually been spending an hour or two after school working on our history project, so Mom won't expect me home right away. Why?"
"Why don't you come to my house for a bit, then? Like I said, I've got that pullover I want ya to try on. You've gotta start wearin' a sweater under your jacket until you get a proper coat. By they way, I bet my mom can dig up some other things for ya too."
Jay started to protest, but Sam silenced him with a gesture and went on to explain, "I've got four older brothers, you see. They're all gone from home now. In fact, the oldest two are married and the youngest two are away at college. Anyway, my mom, bless her heart, can never throw anything away, so she's got boxes and boxes of things in the basement that my brothers have long since outgrown and left behind. I know she'll be able to find some things you can use and it would thrill her no end. It would help vindicate her, you see, and she'll hold it up to my dad forever after, every time he complains about her `pack rat mania', as he calls it. She'll delight in being able to remind him that, thanks to her having saved those perfectly useable things, she was able to help you out."
Jay was powerless to argue with her, so he just nodded meekly in acquiescence.
"Great!" Sam said, and then concluded, "Look, sweetie, I hafta run and do some errands before my next class. But since you know where my locker is --number 106, let's meet there after last period and we'll walk together to my house, OK? Then after I've showed you off to my parents, we'll go next door and see how Lee's doin'. Boy, is he gonna be jealous when he finds out how I've been hangin' out with his sweetheart! I can hardly wait to tease him!"
Having said that, Sam gave Jay a playful slap on his pert little bubble butt, and without further ado, rushed out of the lunchroom, leaving him standing there blushing like crazy, his head spinning.
Before Jay knew it, the rest of the school day had zipped by and the sudden peal of the final bell jerked him back to reality. His last period class had been rather dull and his thoughts had more or less wandered away. While the teacher's voice droned on in the background, he was busy imagining what Sam's parents would be like, and her house. He was tingling all over with an odd elation at the thought of being invited to visit her home, albeit briefly and casually. He couldn't remember ever having been asked home by any of his school friends, except for Lee the day before. Granted, he had never had many friends in the first place. Because of having moved so often, he'd never had a proper chance to form a close and lasting relationship with anyone; plus, the problem was compounded by his timid and unassuming nature. But now, all of a sudden, not only one, but two, of the warmest and most wonderful people in the school had opened their hearts to him and were drawing him deeper and deeper into their love and affection.
His exhilaration was tempered somewhat, however, by the infeasibility of ever bringing either Lee or Sam home to his house. Somehow he knew better than to even consider it. His mother wouldn't mind, surely. But even if she would be pleased, she would never permit it because his dad would definitely be nasty about it and would make a miserable scene, embarrassing everyone. She couldn't bring herself to sanction anything that might set him off. Goodness only knows, it happened often enough anyway, even with the whole family always walking on tiptoes and bending over backwards to humor him.
Jay had a vivid memory from the previous year of Jenna, who -- unlike him -- was quite outgoing and always seemed to have dozens of friends, bringing a chum home with her from school one day. Their dad was in a foul mood when he came home from work, and seeing Jenna and this other girl stretched out on their stomachs on the living room floor watching cartoons on TV was all it took to get him going. "Well, I'll be damned..." he said, looking down at them with an ugly leer, "It looks like my living room has turned into a pig wallow! Say, Jenna, is this yer friend Hippo that ya been talkin' about?" Jenna's friend was rather short and chubby, and he prodded her in the rump with the toe of his shoe, saying what a ridiculous sight she was lying there with her big fat ass sticking up in the air like that. The poor girl burst into tears, of course, and jumped up and ran out of the house bawling. Jenna started bawling as well, and their dad sent her upstairs where she remained until the next morning, not coming down for supper or anything. To make matters worse, their mother didn't go upstairs once that evening to console her, no doubt fearing that their dad would then deride her for `pampering the poor spoiled baby', or something on that order. Jay had done his best to try to comfort her, but she just cried herself to sleep. The next morning she was almost too embarrassed to go to school again and face her poor humiliated friend.
So it wasn't the most pleasant kind of mood, finally, that the dismissal bell awakened him out of. But as he gathered up his things and headed for his locker to collect his by-now dry shirt and jacket and the books he needed to take home for the night, he managed to shake off the unhappy thoughts. By the time he arrived at Sam's locker to meet her, he was once again tingling with anticipation. Mainly, he was almost giddy with the thought of seeing Lee again, and was hoping that he would find him feeling better after his day home from school.
Just when Sam had closed her locker and she and Jay were turning to go, Mr. Danielson, one of the science teachers, came out of the chemistry room across the hall and walked away, leaving the door ajar.
"Quick, Jay, follow me," Sam whispered, and she slipped through the half open door with a somewhat bewildered Jay close on her heels. The room was empty and the lights were off. Sam pushed the door shut behind them and then said, "Put your books down on this table a minute, sweetie."
Jay obeyed and immediately Sam threw her arms around him, pulling him into a tight hug. He could clearly feel how her firm little breasts pressed into his chest as she held him against her body and nuzzled her face in his hair. In spite of his surprise, Jay found himself throwing his own arms around her in an answering hug. Sam then tilted his face up toward hers, with a finger under his chin, and without further ado, pressed her lips to his in a hot kiss. Jay felt himself responding to her. His heartbeat sped up considerably and his senses were thrown into full alert, all the switches wide open. And then, horror of horrors, he felt how his cock started to fill with blood, lengthening and stiffening, pushing insistently, shamelessly, against Sam's leg, which was pressed close against his groin. Sam opened her mouth slightly, lazily flicking the wet tip of her tongue across his lips two or three times, and then, as quickly as she had started the whole thing in the first place, she let go of him and pulled away.
She looked down into Jay's flushed face and grinned at him. "That was from Lee, sweetie. Remember what I promised you this morning... Is that something like he would've done it? If not, we can practice another time and you can show me how to get it right! Deal?"
But before Jay had a chance to answer her -- as if he could somehow have managed to sputter out a reply anyway! -- Sam was all business again, and commanded, "Quit gapin', honey, or you'll catch a fly! Grab your books and let's get outa here before we get caught."
The two of them slipped out of the chemistry room as unnoticed as they had slipped in a few minutes earlier, and headed for the front door of the school.
Sam stopped as soon as they were outside on the walk in front of the school and said to Jay, "You can't imagine how much I've always wanted Lee, sweetie. Like forever. Ever since I've been old enough to want boys at all in that way... you know... But of course at the same time I've known that Lee is gay and that I could never have him, except as a friend. I still love him though, with all my heart, and I'm sure I always will. He's gotta be the most wonderful boy in the whole world, but I'm beginning to think you are a close second, and wouldn't ya know it, I can't have you either! But I'm sure glad Lee's got you, and believe me, he better hold onto you and be good to you or he'll have me to deal with! Honest, sweetie, if I thought I had a chance with you at all, I'd be giving ol' Lee a run for his money!"
Jay blushed, then, more furiously than ever, and Sam chuckled. "Don't worry, sweetheart, I was only teasing. Well, halfway, anyway. I would sure latch onto ya if you were mine instead of Lee's. You're a real catch, believe me. If the rest of the kids in this school weren't so blind and oblivious, they'd all be flocking around ya and fighting over ya, and Lee and I'd hafta be beatin' `em away with a stick!"