This story involves members of the bands NSYNC. I am in no way implying anything about the sexuality of any of their members. This is purely a fictional story. Enjoy!
Thanks to everyone who have taken the time to write me. I really, really enjoy hearing from you guys, so please send any comments and/or suggestions to jaclarke@hotmail.com (ICQ #7964029)
Ryan and Lance - Part 12
Justin could tell that this was something serious. He put down what he was doing and waited for Lance to speak.
"Justin, I really don't know how to say this..."
"What's bothering you, Scoop?" Justin asked with genuine concern.
"I mean, we're best friends, right?"
"Who else would I be best friends with?" Justin said with a big smile and a light chuckle, although he was confused as to where Lance was leading the conversation.
"This is really hard for me..." Lance continued. He really wanted to just stop the conversation and get to the meeting, but he knew that he could hide no longer. "What the heck" Lance thought to himself as he closed his eyes. "Justin, I'm gay."
"YOU'RE WHAT????" Justin yelled. It wasn't a surprised yell. It wasn't a confused yell. It was an angry yell...a yell filled with hatred.
"Justin, please let me..."
"SHUT THE FUCK UP, LANCE. I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE A FAGGOT!!!" Justin glared at Lance. He picked up the sheet music and hurled it at Lance.
Tears streaming down his face, Lance's worst nightmare was coming true. His best friend was turning against him. Lance wished he could turn back time, but the ball was set in motion and there was no turning back now. "Justin, please..." Lance pleaded through his sobs. "Don't do this to me..."
"GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY FACE, YOU SICK, PATHETIC FAGGOT!!!" With that Justin pushed Lance to the floor and stormed out of the room, leaving the blond singer lying on the floor in tears. Images of the night with Eric returned. Lance found himself in a similar situation again. Justin just treated him like a piece of garbage, hurling him aside, just the same way Eric did that fateful night. Justin, his best friend, just used the most degrading words on him, the same way Eric did that night. History was repeating itself, only this time it was ten times as painful.
Meanwhile, Justin had stormed into the meeting room where the rest of the guys were meeting. All conversation stopped when they saw Justin enter and they knew something was up. Without saying a word, Justin sat down, anger written all over his face. No one wanted to provoke him, but JC decided to probe a bit. "Hey, what's up Curly, no cereal this morning?"
"I'm not in the mood, JC," was the answer that Justin gave.
At this point, Lance walked slowly into the room, avoiding Justin's eyes. He had dried his tears but his eyes were still red. "At least I still have JC on my side," he consoled himself. He sat down without saying a word and tension filled the quiet room.
"Uh...let's get started..." JC said, not knowing what was going on. "Joey's gonna join us in a few minutes. He had some errands to run. So Scoop, what's on the agenda today?"
"Uh..." Lance struggled for words. The fact was that his encounter with Justin earlier had left him too distraught to remember anything else.
"Why don't you tell them your dirty little secret?" Justin taunted. Lance shot him a glare, but Justin only glared back.
"What secret?" Chris asked timidly. JC shot him a frustrated look, telling him to keep his mouth shut.
Lance looked away, his eyes blurring and his head spinning. He knew what was coming, but he still hoped that he would be saved by some sort of miracle.
"Tell them, Lance! Why don't you tell them that you're a fucking faggot??" Justin taunted mercilessly. JC cringed as Justin said those words.
"What??? You're gay??" Chris asked, jumping off of his chair.
"Yes, he is," Justin continued. "Surprised, aren't ya, Chris?"
"I can't believe this. You're a faggot!" Chris repeated, his voice becoming more menacing and harsh.
Lance looked up at Chris who was looking down on him. He could see the anger and hatred in Chris' eyes, the same expression that he saw in Justin's eyes not too long ago. He stood up, his knees weak. "Yes, I'm gay, Chris...but..."
Before Lance could finish, Chris pushed Lance onto his chair and blurted, "I can't believe you're a fucking faggot, Lance!!"
Not being able to take this humiliation any longer, Lance turned to JC for comfort, the one person in the group who has accepted him for who he was. However, even Lance's worst nightmares could not have foreseen what was to happen. As the blond singer looked pleadingly to JC for help, JC's face turned away from him, ignoring the desperate young man. It was as if a dagger pierced through Lance's heart. He ached all over and it felt like he was suffocating. He slowly got up again, tears flowing freely down his face. "Thanks, JC...I finally know how much our friendship really meant..." he stopped as his sobs got more intense. "Damn you, JC!!!" he screamed as he pushed his chair aside, and stormed out of the room. He ran right through Joey who was just coming back from his errands and headed straight for the elevator. Once inside, he slid down to the floor and wept.
Ryan put his keys in the door and turned the knob. "I wonder how things went with Lance and the guys?" he thought to himself. The house was silent, as usual. Lance was usually not home when Ryan came home from school. He didn't usually come home until around five, and it was only three. Walking into the kitchen, he noticed sheets of paper on the floor. He looked at the table and the neatly piled of paper that was there this morning was now one big mess on the table and the floor. Without thinking and acting on instinct, Ryan dashed up the stairs and headed straight for Lance's room. Opening the door, he found Lance lying on his bed, staring up at the ceiling. Lance wasn't crying, he was just staring blankly off into space...he didn't even notice Ryan coming in.
Ryan gently walked up to Lance's bed and sat by his side. "What's wrong, Lance?" he asked softly.
For a moment, Lance did not answer. After a moment of silence, Lance responded softly. "Why?"
"Why what?" Ryan knew how stupid that sounded, but he really wasn't very good at being the comforting one. He was so used to being at the receiving end of the comforting.
"Why?" Lance repeated. "Why did they treat me like I was a piece of garbage?" His voice began to choke up as images of the confrontation flashed freshly in his mind.
"The guys??" Ryan was confused, yet somehow in the back of his mind, he was always afraid this would happen. "How...why?"
At that moment, the dam broke and Lance's face became a waterfall of tears. "Justin hates me!" he cried with anguish. "They all hate me..."
"No!" Ryan gasped. "That can't be...they...they care so much about you."
"NO!" Lance cried, "they cared about Lance of NSYNC, not the real Lance Bass...they wouldn't care if I ended up dead tomorrow morning..." With that, Lance began to recall the painful events of the morning, from Justin's violent reaction to the group's rejection of Lance. By the end of the story, Lance was clutching tightly to Ryan. "Don't hate me, Ryan...please..." he pleaded.
Ryan could see Lance falling apart. Every ounce of self-confidence had been sapped from the singer, only to be replaced the wounds of rejection and betrayal. "I'll never ever ever hate you, Lance. I swear...never!!!" Ryan said it with such conviction that he surprised even himself.
"Ryan..." Lance murmured, his soft sobs still piercing the silence in the room.
Ryan's compassion for Lance quickly turned to anger towards the rest of the group. "How dare they treat you this way?? Those fucking bastards...I'll beat the hell out of them..."
"No, Ryan," Lance responded quickly. "Leave them alone...please...I don't ever want to hear or talk about them again."
Ryan knew that Lance didn't mean what he said, he could tell that Lance still cared about the group deeply, except that he was too hurt to even admit it to himself. Lance looked at Ryan with sad eyes, "Can you do be a really really big favour?"
"Sure, Lance, anything," Ryan replied sincerely.
Lance walked over to his closet and retrieved a nicely wrapped box. He walked back to the bed and handed it to Ryan. "Can you give this to Justin for me?" he asked. Just the mention of Justin's name brought an anguished expression on Lance's face.
"What's this for?" Ryan asked, curious as to why Lance still wanted to give a present to someone like Justin.
"I got this for Justin for his commercial deal...it's something that he's wanted for a long time..."
"He doesn't deserve it, Lance. Look what he did to you?" Ryan said, totally bewildered as to why Lance was still treating Justin so well.
"Please, Ryan...I beg you..."
"You don't have to beg me, Lance...whatever you want me to do, I'll do it..."
"What just happened?" Joey asked with a confused look. "Where did Scoop go?"
"Scoop? Who's Scoop?" Justin asked sarcastically. "Oh, you mean that faggot? Who knows? Who cares?"
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Joey asked, raising his voice (a rarity). "What did you guys say to him?"
"He's a faggot, Joey," Chris replied flatly.
"And NSYNC doesn't need faggots," Justin added.
"Are you two out of your mind?? How could you?" Joey yelled, furious at his two band members. Turning to JC, "And you let this happen right in front of your eyes?"
JC looked down at the floor and did not say a word.
"You too?" Joey asked, totally bewildered. "I can't believe this! Who are you people?? You aren't the Chris, Justin, and JC that I know...they would NEVER do this to one of their friends."
There was a knock at the door and JC got up from his chair to open it. He was more than surprised to see Ryan standing there.
"R...Ryan...h..."
"Can it, JC," Ryan replied coldly as he pushed past JC and walked into a room filled with tension. Glaring at Justin, he half-threw the gift-wrapped box at the singer.
"What's this?" Justin asked. He tried to sound sarcastic but he could not hide the fact that he was quite upset with the latest developments.
"Your gift," Ryan answered flatly, his glare not abating one bit. By now, JC had closed the door and had taken a seat by Chris. Ryan surveyed the room and noticed that Joey was sitting off to one side, with the other three guys sitting quite close together. "Looks like I was interrupting some sort of quarrel," Ryan thought to himself. "Lance wanted me to give this to you...it was supposedly for your commercial deal but I guess it doesn't really matter now, does it?" Ryan's words were sharply worded, designed to sting as much as possible. He wasn't about to try being diplomatic and friendly. He was here to fulfil Lance's wishes...but he was also here to give the guys a piece of his mind.
JC stood up from where he was sitting and faced Ryan. "How's Lance doing?" he timidly asked.
The question infuriated Ryan. "What the fuck do you care?" he lashed out, taking JC by surprise. He walked over to Chris and glared down at him. "You really sicken me, you know that?" he yelled. Turning to face the rest of the group, "All of you sicken me...do you know how pathetic you all are??"
"Hey!!" Chris began as he tried to defend himself.
"Sit the fuck down," Ryan ordered. "You're all a bunch of self-centred, spoiled, hypocrites. The NSYNC family, huh? Well, it's a pretty dysfunctional family!!"
No one said a word, which encouraged Ryan to continue his verbal assault. "You," he continued, pointing to Chris, "what did Lance ever do to you that you had to treat him this way? He wasn't born to run errands for you or to take insults from you. He's a human being with feelings too. Did you ever stop to think how Lance felt about the way you treated him? What did he ever do to deserve being treated like crap?"
Chris looked down on the floor without saying anything.
"And did Lance ever utter one word of complaint? DID HE???" Ryan's face was red with fury, but his mind was full of emotion. Every time he looked at the guys' faces, he thought of how he found Lance when he got home from school.
Turning to Justin, he walked up close to the singer and towered over him, as if he was about to strike him. "Who was it who comforted you when you were homesick, huh? Who was it that you turned to whenever you felt lonely, huh? ANSWER ME!!! You said it yourself, Justin...Lance made your first few years on tour bearable. But now that you're a celebrity, you just throw him aside just because he's different from you???"
Ryan grabbed the box and shoved it in Justin's hands. "Open it, OPEN IT!!!" he yelled. Justin was scared by Ryan's fury and he quickly opened the box. He gasped as he saw a beautiful baby-blue sweater with a NC logo on the front. It was the limited edition design that Justin had been searching for over a year now.
"Lance looked after you for all these years, being there for you when you were sad or lonely and cheering for you when you were happy. When you became the heartthrob of the group, he was happy for you, because he treated you as a friend, not a piece of garbage like the way you treated him." No matter how hard he tried, Ryan's armour was falling apart. His anger was turning to anguish. He could feel Lance's pain, and he began to sob lightly, although there was still a sting in his speech.
Justin was now trembling lightly, muffled sobs could be heard. But this softer side of Justin did little to quell Ryan's contempt for him. "And you," Ryan said pointing to JC accusingly, "you're the worst of them all." Ryan knew he sounded comdemning but that was exactly his intent. "Lance trusted you, he confided in you. You promised him you would support him, but then you turned around and betrayed him. YOU ARE A FUCKING BASTARD!!" Ryan accused bitterly. "What you did was like a dagger piercing his heart. How could you be so cruel? If you couldn't carry through, why did you promise him in the first place??? He counted on you!!!"
The words hit JC like an oncoming train. The accusations and condemnation settled in and JC resigned himself to accept them. Ryan was right, he was the worst of them all. At least Justin and Chris never promised Lance anything. He remembered the night when Lance came out to him, how terrified he looked, and how relieved Lance was when he promised to stick by him. Then he remembered Lance's expression when he turned his back on him earlier in the day. Tears of shame fell from JC's face.
"Why?" Ryan questioned amidst his sobs, "why Lance? What did he ever do to deserve any of this? TELL ME!!!! WHY????" Ryan leaned against the wall and let his tears drop. JC tried to hug Ryan to comfort him, but Ryan brushed him aside. "Don't touch me, you back-stabbing bastard. I might as well let you know, I'm gay too, so you can all treat me the same way you treated Lance."
This time, there was no outburst from anyone. "I'm sorry, Ryan," JC pleaded. "Please, give me another chance to make this up to Lance. Please!!"
"Shut up, JC, you've had many chances. But you blew them! You toured with Lance for so many years, yet where were you when he was down or lonely?? You all did you own little things...going clubbing, pestering him with your own problems..."
"But I asked him..." JC began.
"Yeah, you did...but your mind was always preoccupied with something else. He wasn't asking for much...just a bit of attention...that's all...why do you think it took Lance that long to finally come out to you?"
"But..."
"Where were you when he found his boyfriend in bed with two other guys in his own bed???" Ryan demanded. "Where were you??"
JC's head shot up when he heard Ryan's revelation. "I...I...had no idea..."
"Where were you when his ex told him that all along, Lance was only his toy? Where were you when he tried to put his life back together??? You were all preoccupied with your own problems. Not one of you offered to lighten his workload..." Ryan stopped and wiped some of the tears off of his face. He could see the red eyes on Joey's face and Justin looking out the window, his hands rubbing his eyes.
"Where were you when his ex came back and forced himself on Lance???"
This time Justin shot up from his seat. "What do you mean? What did the bastard do???"
"Who are you calling bastard? Yourself???" Ryan shot back, causing Justin to recoil in shame.
"He...ra...ra...he raped him!!! HE RAPED HIM!!!!" Ryan screamed in tears. JC's face lost its colour and he collapsed onto his chair in shock. Everyone in the room was stunned by the revelation. "He raped him...and what did you do to help him?? Nothing!!! You are all just like Eric...taking advantage of him and then brushing him aside. Well, you know what? He doesn't need any of you..." Ryan wiped his tears dry and he headed for the door. He stopped and turned around again. "I hope you guys are happy now...you guys might still be successful and famous after this, but for me, NSYNC is dead as of today. You might still sell millions of CDs, but I sure ain't gonna buy any of them!" Ryan took out an NSYNC CD from his jacket and threw it against the wall, shattering the case. With that, he turned and opened the door.
"Ryan, wait!!" JC and Justin yelled at once.
...to be continued....
Hope you enjoyed this segment. Let me know what you think!!
As always, I'd love to hear any comments/ideas/questions. Please e-mail me at jaclarke@hotmail.com (ICQ #7964029)