Rumspringa

RUMSPRINGA

PART THREE

Chapter 8

Jeremiah stood in the kitchen, despondent. He had brought sadness to his parents, sadness that might have been pride and love. Guilt and shame made him weak. He had to sit down. He pulled out a chair from the kitchen table. NO! Not that one! That's his father's chair! He circled the table to what had been his chair before his Rumspringa and fell into it, burying his head in his hands. He considered finding his father to try to explain his decision but knew that would be useless. If anything, his father was completely committed to his faith and had frequently criticized those few teens who did not return to the Amish community and embrace the lifestyle. He desperately wanted to go to his mother and try to comfort her but realized it would only twist the knife that he had plunged into her heart. He thought of Jeb, a neighbor who left the community years ago, married, and had three children. Jeb frequently visited his parents and was always welcomed. Why couldn't his own parents accept his decision to live in the outside world? Why couldn't there be the continuing, cordial visits that Jeb enjoyed?

A few minutes of grief seemed like hours as Jeremiah punished himself for betraying the family heritage. There was nothing he could do but return to Akron. And to Isaac. And to the future that awaited him. He walked to his car and got in. He took one long (and last?) look at the house that had been his home for nearly two decades, at the barn where he played as a child and later worked alongside his father, and at the verdant fields of corn that stood tall in fertile soil. He drove away, still consumed by guilt and depression.

As he neared Akron, rational thoughts entered his mind. Rumspringa was an integral part of Amish tradition. It allowed teens the opportunity to experience the conveniences, amenities, and, yes, the morals of the English' so that they could make an informed decision about committing to baptism and a life of traditional worship of God. He was only conforming to the spirit of that principle. He reminded himself that 85 percent of those who lived on the outside returned to the Amish community after their Rumspringa. Very few if any, however, chose to leave for the reason that he had -- to love and live with another man. Zach! He is my future! My past must remain a fond memory! Like Jason, we can be righteous Christians as we love each other and treasure our bond.'

"How'd it go?" Isaac asked as Jeremiah entered the house.

"Terrible! A disaster!" came the reply before Jeremiah fell into his lover's arms, recalling the heartache he had caused for his parents and himself.

Isaac was extraordinarily comforting as Jeremiah related the details of what could have been a reunion but was a confrontation. Instead of love, it was marked by sorrow.

"I may have lost my family, Zack, but I have you. And that means far more to me now."

"I know," Isaac replied. "I suppose we're both orphans now. But we have each other."

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To signify Jeremiah's and Isaac's separation from their Amish families and community, their nicknames (Jerry and Zack) will be used through the remainder of this story.

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Fall, winter, and spring flew by because both Jerry and Zack worked through the day, attended classes most evenings at a nearby high school to prepare for the GED exam, and, of course, made love at night. When they weren't studying on the weekend, they found time for a bit of relaxation.

Both wanted to attend college but its practicality was a major concern. Their first choice was Ohio State University in Columbus but they would have to bear the cost of college and rent an apartment not to mention finding new jobs to meet expenses. Jason proposed an alternative. He would loan them the money to attend college full time at no interest. They could continue living in his house and attend the University of Akron. Being full time students without full time jobs, their lives would be simplified and they could devote the necessary time to their studies. "Besides," Jason argued, "most of your classes meet during normal working hours. How can you be at work and at school at the same time?" Because of the young men's independent streak (a result of their Amish upbringing), neither wanted to accept the generous offer. Jason continued in his attempt to persuade them, saying, "It would mean a lot to me, boys. I've thoroughly enjoyed having you here. It's certainly better than living alone."

After weighing the strong desire to strike out on their own against the formidable challenge of meeting both living and education expenses, they compromised. They would accept Jason's offer but repay the loan -- with interest -- as soon as possible. They would work through the summer months and save as much as they could to pay part of the college expenses.

Because of their diligent studying, they felt ready to take the GED exam in a remarkably short time. They had mastered four years of high school academics in eight months. Immediately upon receiving their passing scores and before the certificate arrived, they applied for admission the following September to the University of Akron. Jason was extraordinarily proud of his protégés and commended them on their achievement. Jerry and Zack, having been taught that pride is sinful, maintained an outwardly humble attitude although they congratulated themselves inwardly.

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It was four weeks after college classes began that the two lovers faced a dilemma. Zack was walking across campus when Steve, a classmate, caught up to him and said, "Hey, Zack. Glad I saw you. I'd like to invite you to a little party at my house Friday night. Nothing special ... just a small group hanging out ... have a few beers ... maybe listen to some music ... a little dancing. Do you have a girlfriend? She's welcome, too."

Zack didn't know how to respond. He and Jerry had talked about whether to be open in their gay relationship and tentatively decided not to hide it but not to be too public about it. That meant no `public display of affection', but they would tell the truth if asked. Steve had not specifically asked; he simply assumed that his classmate was straight and had a girlfriend. Zack evaded the sensitive issue by asking, "Can I let you know tomorrow?"

That evening, Zack told Jerry about the invitation and confessed that he was afraid of what might happen if they went to the party. After considerable discussion, they arrived at what they thought was the best option: a combination of honesty and consideration of Steve and his other guests.

The next day, Zack said to Steve, "About your party Friday. You said I could bring a date. Well, that may be a problem ... for you and your friends. You see, my date would be Jerry, my boyfriend. It could be awkward to have a gay couple at your party."

Steve laughed but, upon seeing Zack's sincere expression, said, "You're serious, aren't you?"

"Yes. I'd like to come but not if it embarrasses you or the other people at the party."

"Sonnofabitch!" Steve exclaimed. "I never would have guessed it."

"Fact is," Zack replied, "it's true. So I'll leave it up to you whether you want us there. If you don't, that's quite all right. No hard feelings."

Steve stammered out his reply. "Well ... ah ... that is ... it's okay with me," he lied. "But my other friends might not understand."

"In that case," Zack said, "I appreciate the invitation but won't accept."

"Sorry, pal," Steve said with fake sincerity and, by so doing, implicitly withdrew the invitation.

Steve was distinctly less friendly after that. Over the next week, other students who had once been friendly were ill at ease and aloof. Both Zack and Jerry occasionally noticed small clusters of students whispering to each other and casting glances in their direction. Clearly, more and more students heard the news. The word spread like a viral infection.

The isolation from former friends disturbed Zack more than Jerry because he felt responsible. It was he, after all, who told Steve that he was gay. He chastised himself for not simply declining the invitation with some fabricated excuse of `other plans.' Jerry reminded him that they had agreed to be honest but recalling that decision did little to minimize Zack's regret. Their exclusion from their former circle of friends was not a complete surprise but the feeling of loneliness was greater than either young man expected. "At least," Jerry mused, "people are only ignoring us and not insulting us."

The insults would come, however. They came not from the religious right fanatics as expected. Zack and Jerry were walking to their car in the parking lot on campus when five husky football players, their brains impaired by testosterone toxicity, started taunting them. `Sissy' was the mildest epithet hurled at the two young men; fag, queer, and fudge- packer were the crudest.

They ignored the verbal abuse and continued walking, which, in the deranged minds of the assailants, was interpreted as victory and evidence of queers' total lack of courage to counter attack. Half way to the parking lot and out of earshot of the laughing hoodlums, Jerry said, "Let's walk over to Market Street."

"Why?"

"Because I don't want them to see us get into the car. Who knows what they might do if they know what car we drive? Maybe I'm overly cautious but I'd hate to have them vandalize the car just to punish us for being different."

"Good thinking, Jerry."

A few minutes later, they heard a voice behind them calling, "Jerry!" They turned around to see who it was. Jerry recognized the young man who was hurrying to catch up to them. "It's Brad, Zack. He's in my English class. More significantly, he's one of the jocks who just shouted insults at us."

"Think it's more trouble?" Zack asked.

"Maybe," Jerry worried.

"Got a few minutes?" Brad asked, slightly out of breath for having run to catch up with them.

"Sure. Got more insults for us?" Jerry said sarcastically.

"No, no!" Brad exclaimed. "I want to apologize to you. What happened back there was inexcusable."

"Yes, it was," Jerry said defiantly. "But you were right there yelling at us. Why the sudden change of heart?"

"I can explain. If you're willing to listen. Why don't we get some cold drinks over at the Burger King. I hope I can convince you that I'm truly sorry."

They settled into a secluded corner booth with their Pepsi Colas. Jerry's and Zack's suspicions had turned to curiosity as Brad spoke. "First, a little background. I had a very good friend in high school who was gay. Bob was witty and absolutely brilliant but not much to look at. Big ears and nose. Scrawny. Unusually shy. I think I'm the only guy who he could call a friend. And no, it's not what you're thinking. I'm not gay. I have a girlfriend and we plan to get married after graduation. I don't claim to understand what it's like for a guy to be attracted to other guys any more than you may understand why I'm turned on by girls. Anyway, Bob and I, as I said, were good friends. We told each other things we would never tell anyone else. One day after being bullied for the umpteenth time at school, he was almost in tears. He said he couldn't take any more shit from the bigots at school. After more conversation, he admitted that he had thought of suicide several times to end his suffering. I was shocked! Here was this bright kid with a promising future. And he wanted to throw it all away! It took a couple of hours of talking but I was able to convince him to seek help. I recommended a Web Site, `ItGetsBetter.org' that he found very useful. His parents, when they found out how serious the problem was, arranged for psychiatric counseling. He's now at Yale on a full scholarship. I got a letter from him thanking me for my help and confirming that it does get better.. He's happy as a pig in shit now."

"That's great!" Zack said. "But what's it got to do with harassing us?"

"I'm getting to that. I'm ashamed of being in that group that accosted you. You see, it's a small group of football players that hang with Alex, the quarterback. He's also the senior class president so there's a lot of wannabes that would like to join his inner circle. But Alex keeps them out. For some reason, he let me join. Maybe `cause my dad has a construction company and hires them during the summer. It's like a pack of wolves. Alex is the alpha dog and controls everyone in the pack. There's a pecking order, too. I'm on the bottom of the heap so there's nothing I can do to change their attitude toward gays. Sure, I like being in with the star football players but today made me think. What they did -- what WE did -- was cruel, the sort of bullying that Bob suffered and almost ended in tragedy. So here's the bottom line. One. I apologize for tormenting you. Two. If they ever talk about something more serious like physically attacking you, I'll give you a heads up so you can avoid it or at least be prepared."

"That's very decent of you, Alex," Jerry said.

"Well ... I can't stop them if they decide to do something stupid. But I may be able to warn you."

They exchanged cell phone numbers and hoped that they would not be used. While Jerry and Zack were surprised and pleased, both harbored a suspicion that it was a ruse to make them let down their guard.

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Brad worried about what might happen to Jerry and Zack and tried to form a plan by which he could prevent a possible attack. He was unsuccessful. After all, he was a minor and powerless member of Alex's core group. The situation changed, however, when his girlfriend berated him for participating in the harassment of two students. Her friend had witnessed the verbal abuse and told her, in detail, what had happened. Brad apologized, explained how he had agreed to warn Zack and Jerry of any further abuse. That seemed to have satisfied his girlfriend but it also formed the seeds of a viable plan to prevent further bullying. "Your friend saw what happened?" he asked.

"Yes."

"Any other witnesses?"

"Two or three."

"Would they be willing to describe what they saw?"

"Yes. What are you thinking?" she asked.

"I might have a way to stop Alex's tyrannical domination of his gang and prevent any plot he may hatch to persecute two undeserving guys."

Together, Brad and his girlfriend worked out the details.

After football practice the following Wednesday, the coach called out the names of Alex's clique and said, "I want to see you in my office immediately."

They dutifully reported to the coach's office. All of them were curious; some were worried, about what it was all about. Only Brad knew what was in store. Alex, arrogant as ever, tried to reassure them that even the coach wouldn't dare break up their close camaraderie. He changed his mind soon after the coach began lecturing to the group.

Looking directly at Alex, the coach said, "I've been aware of your group for some time. If you want to hang out together it's none of my business. As long as it didn't affect the performance of the entire team, I've haven't said anything. But it's come to my attention -- from credible sources -- not your victims -- that your gang insulted, harassed, and intimidated two gay students." Raising his voice, he continued, "You've crossed the line! You may think that I'm only concerned with how you play football. Let me set you straight. Every athlete at this university has to meet standards ... academically and personally. Deliberately and consciously causing pain to others -- team members, students on or off campus, or anyone else -- is simply not acceptable. I will not tolerate your ridiculing others whether they're handicapped, a minority race, or because of sexual orientation. Let me be very clear. If I hear of any further discriminatory and degrading behavior from any of you, I will suspend you from the team. You won't be allowed to suit up for practices or games. And that means all of you. Or any one of you that screws up. If, like the other day, you individually or as a group insult or harass anyone, you're toast! I don't want to lose your talent but I'll suspend any or all of you in a heartbeat if you don't live up to expectations on or off the field. This is not an idle threat. I WILL suspend you. If anyone asks why you're suspended, I won't hesitate to give the reason. Don't fool yourselves by thinking that winning is everything. As far as I'm concerned, winning honorably is what matters. You dishonor yourselves, the team, and this university when you maliciously attack other students. I've given a lot of thought to whether and how to punish you for your cruel bigotry. I refuse to make the same mistake as Tressel!" [Jim Tressel, a coach at Ohio State, was forced to resign for covering up his players' prohibited profiting from the sale of football memorabilia.] "I've decided on one that is best for the team, the university, and most of all for YOU. I want you assholes to apologize to Jerry and Zack. I want you to promise them that you will be their watchdogs and protectors."

"But Coach..." Alex whined.

"No `buts' about it, no matter HOW you spell the word!"

After a moment of shocked silence, Brad and a couple others who were low on the social totem pole responded with a bit of chuckling.

"Get this through your thick skulls! If I hear of any assault to either or both of them, you'll answer to me and it won't be pretty. Any assault, verbal or physical, caused by any one of you could mean you're off the team. Permanently! Now get your sorry asses out of here before I tell you how much your inexcusable attack disgusts me."

Chapter 9

Zack and Jerry had just finished lunch at the Marketplace Café and were leaving the Student Union Building, headed east on Carroll Street toward their car in parking lot #2, which was adjacent to the Athletic Field House Complex. It was Friday, they had no afternoon classes, and they were planning a rare period of pure relaxation before preparing a special meal for Jason on the occasion of his birthday. After the meal, they would treat him to a stop at his favorite bar. They would sip Ginger Ale while he drank a few beers. They were excited about the evening. There had been so few of them since classes began because they had to study obsessively to maintain a high B average. In spite of the challenge of college, they agreed that life was good since leaving the Amish community.

Their high spirits were shaken when they saw Alex and his gang approach. There was no way to avoid a confrontation and the crude taunting they had suffered only a few days before.

Alex strutted toward them and stood only two feet in front of them. Five hangers-on formed a circle around the two anxious teens, blocking any hope of escape. They were trapped. It wasn't a dark alley or a lonely country road but they feared the worst: a physical beating accompanied by sneers and insults.

"Hiya, dudes," Alex said. "I wanna apologize for what we said the other day. It was wrong and we're sorry. Ain't that right, guys?"

A chorus of agreement confused Jerry and Zack.

"To make up for it," Alex continued, "we're all gonna watch out for you. If anybody gives you any shit about being fags -- oops, I mean gay -- just say the word and we'll set `em straight."

Alex and his followers then walked away, leaving Jerry and Zack perplexed by the astonishing encounter. Walking to their car and on the drive home they tried unsuccessfully to think of an explanation for the athletes' sudden and mysterious change in behavior. The puzzle troubled them until late afternoon. Only when they started preparing supper could they think of anything else but even then inexplicable turn of events was not far from their minds.

Over dinner, Jerry and Zach told Jason about the strange encounter with Alex and his band of homophobes. "When you told me about the harassing," Jason said, "I was angry that such persecution was still virulent. But reversing their bigotry so quickly is -- frankly -- suspicious. Do you think they were just trying to get you to let your guard down? Will they attack you some time when you're not expecting it?"

Neither Zack nor Jerry had considered that possibility, which was no doubt due to their growing up in a gentle, cooperative, and amiable Amish community. "No," they said in unison.

"There may be a way to find out," Jason speculated. "You say Brad apologized to you for the insults?"

"Yes," Zach replied.

"Could it be that there's more to the story than what you experienced? I mean, might Brad have convinced the group it was wrong and they should make it right?"

"Not likely," Jerry said. "He said he was the bottom of the pecking order and had no power or influence on the group."

"Still," Jason said, "he may have been instrumental in causing the sudden change in the group. I don't know how but you have to admit it's possible even if it's unlikely. Why don't you ask him?"

"Good idea!" Jerry exclaimed. "I'll call him right after dinner."

Jerry called Alex's cell phone. "Hi. This is Jerry. You said you'd let us know if there might be more trouble."

"I did. What's the problem, Jerry?"

"No problem. I just have a question. How come the sudden change of attitude today? Alex actually apologized and promised to look out for Zack and me. What's going on?"

"Alex didn't change his mind. Neither did any of the others in the group. They did it because the coach demanded it."

"I don't understand," Jerry said.

Brad explained how the incident had been reported to the coach, the coach's angry tirade, and his threat of suspension from the team. He concluded with an ominous warning, "Today was just a sham to satisfy the coach. Believe me, Alex and the rest of the group haven't changed a bit. I wouldn't be surprised if they planned some kind of attack as long as they were sure they wouldn't get caught. So be careful. If I hear anything more specific, I'll let you know."

"Thanks, Brad. For the information ... and for telling the coach."

"Whoa! Hold on! I didn't tell the coach! And I'd rather not say who did ... for their own protection if you know what I mean."

"Thanks, Brad. You've solved a mystery that's been puzzling us."

For the next several weeks, Zack and Jerry were watchful, especially in the parking lot or other places where nobody was around but their apprehension was unnecessary. They would occasionally see Alex, one of his underlings, or the pack of bigots together but there was not so much as a greeting pass between them. In spite of the absence of an immediate threat, they worried about the time when football season was over. Alex and his henchmen were all seniors and banishment from the team would no longer be a threat.

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In early November, Jason informed the teens that his two daughters, their husbands, and three grandsons, ages 10-15, would be arriving from out of town to celebrate Thanksgiving. It would be the first family gathering since his late wife's funeral. Jerry offered to leave the house during the visit but Jason said, "No! I want you to be a part of the group. After all, you're like sons to me. A family gathering wouldn't be complete without you."

Zack announced, "Jerry and I will prepare the dinner. That will leave you free to be with your family. And don't argue. We've done pretty well cooking meals here and we would welcome the chance to prepare a special meal. Right, Jerry?"

"Absolutely!"

The young men thoroughly enjoyed planning, preparing, and serving the feast although they became annoyed at Jason's frequent question, "Anything I can do to help?" They also enjoyed the abundant compliments on the meal from all the adults. (The grandsons were too busy eating; boys of that age have big appetites and poorly developed social skills.)

After desert of pumpkin pie, the three grandsons, dreading an evening of boring adult conversation, asked if they could go outside and play football. Zack stood and said, "You folks enjoy yourselves. Jerry and I will put the leftovers away and wash the dishes." When Jason's daughters rose to help, Zack said, "Thanks but we'd rather you spend time with your father." Only Jerry and Zack were aware of what lay beneath their insistence on clearing the table alone -- pain was mixed with their pride. They had given no clue to their sadness over not being with their own families, most especially on a holiday. They had fond memories of the many Thanksgiving dinners as they grew up. The meals were superb but, in retrospect, they appreciated most the unity and fellowship with their parents and siblings. Jerry was the first to voice his feelings as they loaded the dishwasher. "I enjoyed the day, Zack, but I wish I could be with my own family on Thanksgiving."

"I know the feeling, Jerry. But that won't happen. Besides, you and I are sort of a family now. For now and forever. I love you."

"I love you, too." Unaware that one of Jason's sons-in-law was entering the kitchen, the two lovers briefly hugged and kissed to express their devotion to each other.

The son-in-law was appalled at the sight of two men kissing. He turned around and returned to the dining room. "Jason," he said, "can I talk to you a minute? In private?"

Jason was puzzled but accompanied his son-in-law to what was once a daughter's bedroom but was now his office.

"What the hell is going on with your two boarders?" the younger man demanded, his fury obvious.

"Settle down!" Jason said. "In the first place, they're not boarders. They're house guests. And, I might add, fine young men. Secondly, what's upsetting you?"

"I just saw them kissing! On the lips! Not just a peck, either! They're obviously fags!"

"I'll thank you not to use vulgar language," Jason replied assertively. "As for your accusation, it's true. They're gay. They're in love. It's a love not unlike a deep, abiding love between a man and a woman. And, I would hope, between you and my daughter."

"HOLY CRAP! Are you telling me that you tolerate such disgusting behavior in your home? How can you claim to be a Christian?"

"Let me put this plainly," Jason said as he fought to control his anger. "Their behavior is different ... not disgusting. Moreover, it's not sinful. How can love and devotion be sinful? Those young men are the most honest, hard-working, compassionate people I know. They would put to shame many Christians -- especially Evangelicals -- who sit in church on Sundays and blindly endorse twisted interpretations of the Bible, who ignore its contradictions, and who quote only those parts that happen to agree with their biases. The result, of course, is cruel bigotry!"

"I've heard enough," the irate son-in-law said and stormed out of the room. In the dining room he said to his wife, "Get your things. We're leaving!"

Usually submissive to her husband, she uncharacteristically replied, "Why?"

"Because your father is harboring two queers! I won't be any part of it!"

She knew that Jerry and Zack were gay. Jason had told her previously but they agreed not to mention it to her husband because they knew what his reaction would be. Defiantly, she said, "You can leave if you want to. I'm staying here."

Tom, an ex-Marine, was clearly infuriated by his wife's defiance, he barked, "And how will you get home?"

"IF I come home, I'll find a way."

The implication of the "IF" was clear. For the first time in their marriage, Tom's wife was rebelling against his dictatorial ways. Her anger over being treated as an inferior subordinate in the marriage had been simmering for years. It reached an explosive boiling point when he ordered her -- in front of everyone -- to get her things.

The bigot was in an awkward situation. Unlike his experience in the Marine Corps where insubordination was swiftly punished, this was a family gathering and he had to reign in his anger. "You mean you're going to stay in this den of iniquity?"

"I am!" she said assertively. "And if you're the Christian you profess to be, you'll show some tolerance."

"Sit down, Tom," Jason urged. "Let's not argue and spoil the evening."

The man, obviously bewildered by his wife's uncharacteristic disobedience and still incensed over the presence of `queers' in the house, grudgingly sat down, seething inwardly but unable to do anything about the mutiny. At least not at the moment; he would handle his wife's noncompliant attitude later.

Jerry and Zach overheard the confrontation and were overcome with remorse that they had carelessly ruined the rare family gathering. After discussing what they could do, they returned to the living room to apologize. However, they didn't have a chance. Several voices called to them, "Come join us." "You've done enough work for the day; come relax." "Thanks for the spectacular meal; too bad we don't live closer because we'd enjoy the results of your cooking talents." And from the wife of the bigot who caused the tactless scene, "Don't let my husband's remarks ruin the evening. I think I speak for all of us -- except Tom -- when I say we think you make a fine couple." A chorus of agreement followed.

Chapter 10

Tom, the self-righteous bigot, sulked quietly. He felt humiliated by his wife's disobedience. It had challenged his authority and dealt a blow to his outsized ego. However, he contained his anger -- at least for the time being. Consequently, the evening passed amicably. Everyone (except Tom) made sure that Zack and Jerry were included in the lively conversation. Everyone (except Tom) had a wonderful time. But it was getting late and Jason's daughters, their husbands, and the grandchildren had a long drive ahead of them to return home so they regretfully said goodbye and left after profusely praising Jerry and Zack on the meal and promising to get together again soon.

Tom was still angry and brooding when they pulled out of the driveway. His wife, Marie, was also upset at the furor her husband had caused in what should have been a joyous occasion. At the same time, however, she felt exhilarated over having the courage after so long to stand up to her husband's domineering ways.

Jerry and Zack apologized to Jason for triggering Tom's outburst and ruining the family get together. "Don't worry about it," Jason replied. "Tom is arrogant, pompous, and self-righteous. We've all known that for some time. To tell the truth, I'm proud of Marie for finally standing up to him. I've watched him dominate her for too long but, of course, couldn't do anything about it. One of the hardest things a parent must do is to let adult children lead their own lives. Fortunately, there's been no physical abuse ... at least that I know of. Then, I'd have stepped in to protect her. I don't expect Tom will change his ways. He's always fought to win. Frankly, the best thing to happen would be a divorce. They have no children to hold them together and Marie could get along fine -- in fact much better -- without him. Who knows? Maybe she'll find a more reasonable man. She's still quite attractive."

As soon as Tom and Marie got on I-77, heading north toward home in Shaker Heights, Tom's discontent erupted and he forcefully said, "I don't appreciate your mouthing off to me in front of everybody. It's demeaning and embarrassing. Don't ever do that again!"

"Embarrassing? Demeaning?" Marie exclaimed. "How do you think I feel when you bark orders? Do you have any idea what it's like to be treated like an ignorant servant? Marriage ought to be an equal partnership but you act like a dictator without considering my feelings. I've had my fill of it, Tom, and won't take it any more."

"Is that a threat?" Tom asked. "Back at your dad's house you said IF you came home. That sure sounded like a threat."

"I said that because you made a total ass of yourself by ranting about Zack and Jerry. They're gay. But they're fine young men and don't deserve to be persecuted with your poisonous attitude. I was protecting them as much as objecting to your egotism."

"They're QUEER, Marie! It's unnatural and sinful! That's why I worked so hard to get the definition of marriage on the ballot in Ohio. And it got voted into the State Constitution."

"Such a shame, too. It denies the minority the rights enjoyed by the majority. Speaking of majority, did you know that a recent poll found that fifty-two percent of Americans think homosexuality is morally acceptable?"

"You wanna know why? The homosexual bullies are intimidating God- fearing people and trying to turn it into a discrimination issue.

"Bullies? Intimidating?" Marie exclaimed. "Seems to me that the extremist Evangelicals are the bullies. They're the ones that mistreat gays, spew hate from the pulpit, and picket funerals of soldiers, claiming that they died because God is punishing America for tolerating gays. They're the ones who..."

Tom cut her off. He reflexively counter-attacked. He would not allow facts to trump his beliefs. "They're creating a lot of heathens who want to ban religious values in America. It'll be a disaster if we don't respect traditional marriage."

"Traditional marriage?"

"The kind in the Bible."

"You mean Jacob and his two wives, Leah and Rachel and their two hand-maidens? Or Solomon and his seven hundred wives and three hundred concubines?"

"Not that kind, no."

"Stoning brides on their wedding day if they're not virgins?"

"NO! You're misinterpreting the Bible, Marie."

"But you don't hesitate to quote the Bible to me, Tom. Do you want to impose your interpretation on everyone else?"

"No. That's what THEY want."

"Who?"

"The homosexuals. They want to change the definition of marriage for everyone."

"Do they want to force you to marry a man?"

"Of course not."

"Do they want to outlaw traditional marriage?"

"No."

"What do they want?"

"They want to legalize sin! It's not right! Every child deserves opposite sex parents."

"Thank goodness we don't have children, Tom. They'd be infected with your excessive intolerance."

Exasperated, Tom exclaimed, "What the fuck's gotten into you, Marie? You're talking like one of those heathens who condone homosexuality. Do you want to be condemned to Hell?"

"My compassion, forgiveness, and tolerance won't condemn me to Hell, Tom. But you'll have to worry about your hate and your persecution of those who don't agree with you." Marie was tempted to add a comment on her husband's `intentional ignorance' but thought better of the idea. He would only get angrier, deny it, and prolong the argument.

There was an icy silence for the rest of the drive home. Tom, figuratively licking his wounds, felt like he may have lost a battle but he resolved to win the war. Marie, having found her voice that had been repressed for so long, couldn't feel triumphant because of the specter of her husband's probable revenge and, significantly, the future of their marriage. What marriage?' she asked herself. They started out as a loving couple but for last few years she had been miserable. There was no joy in being together any more. There was no love. There was plenty of sex -- when he demanded it and with no regard for what she wanted or how she felt. There was neither affectionate foreplay nor any sign of his trying to give her an orgasm. It was biff-bam' but no `thank you, ma'am.' Perhaps the evening had been the beginning of the end ... and could be a new beginning for her.

<><><><><>

Meanwhile, a minivan was traveling south toward Columbus. Three boys were in the rear, sleeping off the prodigious meal they'd eaten at their grandfather's house and recuperating from playing football. Their parents, Henry and Julie, were in front, occasionally chatting about what a wonderful day it had been -- except, of course, for Tom's outburst, which, they agreed, was tactless. "Can you believe how furious he was?" Julie asked rhetorically. "Just because Zack and Jerry are gay?"

"I CAN believe it," her husband replied. "I agree with his disapproval of homosexuality. But to fly into a rage like he did in front of everyone is inexcusable. His vehemence is consistent with his character, however. And to insist on leaving just because two gays were present was over the top."

"Indeed it was," Julie remarked. "I felt sorry for Marie when Tom exploded but I think she handled it well. In fact, she should have done something similar a long time ago. Which reminds me ... I love you for being a good husband."

"You're good to be good to," Henry grinned and, after a pause, asked, "Did you notice how Tom was quiet and sulking afterwards?"

"How could I not notice? He got what he deserved. I don't feel sorry for him at all."

"I'll bet he has more to say on the drive home," Henry mused.

After several miles of quiet reflection, Julie asked, "How would you feel if one of our boys turned out to be gay?"

"They won't!"

"Probably not, Henry, but it's possible. Could you accept that? Would you still love him?"

"Frankly, I don't know if I could accept it, but I guess I'd still love him."

"Suppose for a minute. Suppose Jerry or Zack was your son. Would you be proud of him ... or ashamed?"

"That's a `what-if' question, Julie. Why worry about something that won't happen?"

"Because it might. The chances are slim but it's always good to be prepared for the unexpected. You have to admit that Jerry and Zack are bright, personable, and quite admirable young men ... who happen to be gay"

"That they are," Henry had to acknowledge.

"Well," Julie began somewhat hesitantly, "I'd be proud to have either one as a son. Oh sure, I'd worry. Being gay is still a bit dangerous because there are too many Toms in the world. Their hatred would be hard to endure. Not, I suppose, unlike other minorities. If one of our boys were gay, could you offer them the support they needed to cope with persecution from bigots?"

The man thought for a while before responding, "It would be difficult but he'd still be my son. I guess I could accept it ... but NOT approve of their behavior -- as long as they weren't swishy, effeminate types."

Julie laughed. "That's the last thing you'd have to be concerned about. They're about as macho as they come. Is any one of them a sissy type?"

"No way! Oh, oh! Road construction ahead. They oughta make orange barrels the state symbol!"

<><><><><>

The next few weeks passed uneventfully for Zack and Jerry. A phone call from Brad (the member of Alex's inner circle who promised to be a mole and report any plans for persecution) rekindled their fears of being bullied.

"Hi, Jerry. This is Brad. Just wanted to give you a heads-up. Alex has started mouthing off about fags. Sorry. Didn't mean to offend but that's the term HE uses. Anyway, football season is over. He and the rest of his gang are all seniors so the coach's threat of expelling them from the team is no longer a concern. He hasn't mentioned you two specifically but he's showing his hatred more than usual. I don't know if he is or will be planning anything but I thought I'd better let you know."

"Thanks, Brad. We'll be careful."

Careful they were. They were more alert and more cautious, especially on campus. They even started carrying pepper spray in case harassment turned into physical violence. (They were unaware that it was not nearly as potent as the kind used by law enforcement personnel and that it might only make the aggressor angrier, leading to even more brutality.) But their fears would evaporate at the beginning of the Christmas break when Jerry got another call from Brad. "Good news, Jerry," Brad began. "Alex will be dropping out of school. I don't know all the details but it seems he screwed up applying for another student loan; missed a deadline or something. His dad lost his job and can't afford tuition. Alex is a real bastard but I feel sorry for him. He has only one semester left before he was to graduate. Anyway, I think his clique will sort of break up next semester. Even if they don't, there's not one of them that has the balls to organize any kind of attack on you or anyone else."

"Thanks, Brad. That is good news. Not because Alex won't graduate on time but that Zack and I won't have to be on guard all the time."

"I didn't say that, Jerry. I'd suggest you watch your back for a little while longer."

"Will do, Brad. Thanks again."

Brad's final recommendation would prove to be unnecessary. Lacking a leader who, by charisma, demanded unchallenged loyalty, the clique of jocks gradually disintegrated. Their only incentive was to earn passing grades that would ensure graduation. Intimidation or persecution of gays fell off their priority lists.

Epilogue

Jerry and Zack now live in Columbus, Ohio, and are blissfully happy. They had several job offers when they graduated from college, but selected Columbus because it was relatively close to their families. Each of them had contacted his parents, but the responses ranged from coolness to mild antagonism for having abandoned his heritage. Nevertheless, each maintains hope that he might eventually restore an amicable relationship with the family he still loved.

So far, their efforts have been unsuccessful. The seemingly irreparable collapse of the relationships with their parents is partially offset by continuing contact with Jason. They visit often and keep in touch by phone and email. Holidays, particularly Thanksgiving and Christmas, are especially joyful occasions. Jason's family gathers and treat Zack and Jerry as "adopted" members of the clan. (The festivities are particularly enjoyable due in part to the absence of Tom whom Marie divorced.)

Both Jerry and Zack were pleased to hear that Alex, the bigot jock, was able to complete his degree requirements and graduate after two years working full time and attending classes part time. They sent a congratulatory letter to him but never received a reply.

They still keep in touch with Brad who had secretly engineered the coach's stern dressing-down of Alex's clique. Brad is completing his doctoral degree at UCLA.

The end

AUTHOR'S NOTE: My thanks to Iatia for his willing, able, and valuable help in crafting this story.