The following is a work of gay fiction. If the subject matter is offensive to you or you are too young, please exit now. This story is the property of the author and may not be reproduced without his permission. JETjt@aol.com
EMPIRE
Chapter Forty-nine
Monday evening before New Year's, Ron and Matt's home
Ron, Matt, Tyler and Dan were huddled in Ron's spacious office at home. Friends were arriving in droves for their New Year's bash at the Stratosphere, and for all practical purposes business had been suspended until after the beginning of the New Year. It didn't mean that the men could relax though. Meetings and greetings with all their arriving guests took up the majority of their time, but the danger and uncertainties caused by the planned Al Quaida attack remained in the forefront of their minds.
"Are you ready for the operation tomorrow?" Ron asked Tyler as they sipped drinks, having reserved the evening away from their friends.
"Yes, we're geared up. The FBI will be making the arrests with Metro as backup. Aztec-Turner is still providing security for David, and will until the arrests are made. There are four federal bomb experts here who will defuse the bombs after the arrests."
"Where will the arrests be made?" Ron asked.
"We've decided that we'll take them out when they are all at the warehouse when they come back there for David. If some of them stay at the Stratosphere, we'll go after them simultaneously."
"Won't there be a danger with the explosives already there at the tower?"
"Yes," Tyler replied, "But the risk is unavoidable and it wasn't our choice. The Feds insisted that we do it that way even though we wanted to act earlier. If the bombs are set to go off on New Year's Eve as planned, we should have a full day to remove them and have them defused."
"It seems too risky to me," Ron commented. "I hate the thought of even half the explosives up there. What if they have remote detonators instead of timers? I think the Fed's idea is stupid."
"I agree, but it is what it is," Tyler sighed with resignation. "The plans are all made and it's too late to change them now."
"Just make sure that David is safe," Ron insisted.
"We'll have eight guys assigned to him. Most will be a couple of blocks away from him at all times, and we have two guys watching the warehouse already, in addition to the ones the Feds have.
"I guess it will have to do," Ron said. "I'm just not happy about it though."
"I hear you brother," Tyler said. "Tomorrow, I'll be on the `front line' myself. I'll be one of the eight men."
Tuesday, 6:30 AM, David's apartment
David was zipping up his jeans when he heard the loud knocking on his door. Barefoot and with no shirt on, his skin still wet from his shower, David headed for the door. Opening it, he was shocked to see Achmed standing there.
"The plans have changed," Achmed declared as he barged in. "Get ready to go."
"Wha^Å" David stammered. "I don't understand."
"I'm afraid we have a security leak," Achmed explained. "We have an operative in the Homeland Security Department and I got the warning last night by courier. "We're ready to go with the Fire Department van loaded with the high explosives. It will crash through the lobby doors at the Stratosphere and take out the elevator core. Two of the nitrate vans will attack the outer legs, and the other two will go for the MGM Grand elevator core and the main tower at Caesars Palace. Our target time is 8:15 AM this morning. We can't risk waiting."
"I don't understand. A security leak?" David asked as he hurriedly put on his boots and shirt.
"Yes, we moved out of the warehouse last night and are standing by ready to go. The courier will drive one of the vans, and I'll coordinate the operation by radio. Put this on," Achmed ordered pulling a thick vest from a package he carried.
"What is it?" David asked as he looked at Achmed who had pulled a 9 mm Beretta and aimed it at David.
"It's loaded with explosives. All the operatives are wearing them. I'm not sure who leaked our plans to the Feds, but I'm taking no chances," he said holding out the vest.
David put it on and Achmed, standing behind the youth, activated the trip connections to the vest fasteners.
"This vest will explode either by my remote activation," Achmed declared, "or if it's taken off. It will make no difference to you or our other martyrs, but if you change your mind about the task in front of you, you will be sacrificed, and as traitors will give up your place in Paradise."
"I'll not fail. I'm ready," David declared putting the contents from his pockets that were on the nightstand into his fresh jeans. Unseen by Achmed was the panic button that looked like a key fob attached to his apartment key.
"We're leaving by the bedroom window," Achmed declared. "I'm parked in the rear."
7:05 AM, the parking lot in front of David's apartment.
"Come on David," Carl muttered as he honked the horn for the third time. `He must still be asleep,' Carl thought, as he pulled the door handle and opened the door to his new pickup. Stepping outside, he walked to the door and loudly knocked on David's door. After waiting a moment, he grabbed the knob, and to his surprise, the knob turned and the door moved inward.
"David!" he called as he glanced around at the disorderly condition of the normally neat apartment. Looking into the bedroom and bath, he saw that David was nowhere in sight. Extracting his cell phone from his pocket, he quickly dialed the phone number of Tyler.
"Tyler!" Carl shouted into the phone. "I'm at David's! He's gone!"
"We're on it son," Tyler assured the boy, shouting over the loud background noise of the RET chopper. "Something's happened and it looks like they discovered us. Our teams are gathering, and already David is being followed. Don't worry. Just go to work. I'll call you when I can."
"I can't work now," screamed Carl, frantic with worry.
"Call in sick then for both you and David," Tyler directed in a loud voice. "Then go to the office where Dan, Ron and Matt are all headed. You can keep track of what's happening from there."
"Okay. Thanks. Don't let anything happen to David," Carl pleaded.
"We'll do our best, son," promised Tyler. "Get going."
"Bye," Carl said, returning to his car in a trot as he disconnected the call, then dialed the construction office at the Wildman Casino job.
25 minutes later, in the RET helicopter.
"RET one to ground control," Tyler said into the mike.
"Ground control," came the response in the earphones.
"The suspect van is headed for North Las Vegas and has turned off of I-15 west on Craig Road," Tyler reported. "It's a warehouse district. Wait, I see an empty lot ahead with three white vans and one red one. They are at Mitchell and Walnut streets on a vacant lot. Mitchell is the first street west of I-15 and Walnut is to the north of Craig. I'm sure they can see the intersection of I-15 and Craig. Do NOT let any marked vehicles use that approach."
"We're rolling," the controller reported. "ETA 20 minutes."
"I hope we have that long," Tyler shouted. "I have one Aztec-Turner car with two agents within a block of the suspect vehicle, and three more in transit with an ETA of 10 minutes," he reported. "We'll stand back and wait until you arrive, if possible."
"Thanks RET One. Keep us advised. We also have a metro chopper in the air from City Hall and will be taking over control from there when they arrive. Their call sign is Metro One."
"I copy," Tyler replied. "RET One out."
David sat in the passenger seat as Achmed turned off of Craig onto Mitchell. As the van made the turn, Carl noticed a white helicopter in the distance that looked like the one he'd seen in the Turner hangar at McCarran when they had all flown to San Diego a few weeks before. `Maybe all is not lost,' he thought to himself.
"You will be driving this van and your assignment is the Southwest leg of the Stratosphere tower," Achmed instructed. "Under my seat here, is an Uzi if you have to use it. It's loaded and there are two spare clips. In the back are bags of ammonium nitrate. In the middle of the bags are sticks of dynamite with remote controlled fuses. This controller here," he said holding up a device that looked like a garage door opener," will set off the dynamite. Don't press it accidentally."
"I understand," responded David.
"We'll disband as soon as the final instructions are given. There is a map in each of the vehicles as to where to wait for the final call to attack."
David saw the other four vehicles sitting out on a dirt parking lot as the van he and Achmed occupied approached. There were 4 men standing between the vehicles talking. Jumping the curb, the van containing the newcomers pulled to a stop. Achmed and David climbed out of their van and Achmed waved the others to join him. As soon as the men gathered round, Achmed began.
"In each vehicle is a map with instructions as to where to park and a small drawing of your target. You are to proceed to your parking location and wait for my attack call. Our target time is 8:15. It is imperative that the Stratosphere team work together and detonate all at the same time. You will be parked where you can see your target, so you can plan your approach. If it is impossible to reach your target, radio me at once, and we'll put a delay on the attack. Under each seat is an Uzi machine pistol in case you have to use it. It is loaded and has two spare magazines. Beside each seat is a detonation device. There will be no time delay when it is pushed. Good luck men, and may Allah be with you today as you rise to be with him in Paradise."
5 minutes before, the RET office complex
Carl rushed in the door heading for Ron's office on the run. Arriving there he saw Margaret and shouted as he approached, "Where's Ron?"
"Aztec-Turner Communications room," she responded pointing. "Third door past Tyler's office."
Carl picked up his pace and in a moment arrived breathless at the door. Seeing the security guard posted outside the room, Carl said quickly, "I'm Ron Turner's son. I need to be with him."
"Wait here," the guard ordered as he pushed open the door. "Mr. Turner," the guard said, "There's a young man here who says he's your son."
"Let him in," Ron replied.
Carl rushed past the guard and quickly found Ron, Matt and Dan, standing together watching the proceedings.
"What's happening?" he asked.
"Shhh," Ron warned with a whisper. "The attacker's vans are all together in North Las Vegas and the Homeland security guys are 10 minutes away, except for a Metro helicopter that just arrived overhead. "Aztec has 4 vehicles with 8 armed agents there too, who will block off the roads leaving the site if ordered to. They are armed with grenade launchers and M-16's thanks to Homeland Security."
"What about David?" Carl asked, fearful of his lover's safety.
"All the agents there know what he looks like," Ron said. "They have orders not to shoot at him. That's all we can do for now. Tyler is in the air in the RET chopper with two other agents."
At the Al Quaida vans on the ground.
David could see that the meeting was about to conclude, resulting in the scattering of the 5 vans. He knew that he could not let that happen, regardless of what happened to him. He reached into his right pants pocket and pressed the panic button. In the chopper above, Tyler saw the signal and hastily arranged with the Control Officer in the Metro chopper, ordering the move-in of Aztec-Security officers. Not knowing the plan ordered from above, David reached for the fasteners on the vest he was wearing, knowing that by ripping it off, a holocaust of explosions would begin. Before he could begin his task, however, a tired looking van pulled up and stopped in front of the van in which he and he and Achmed had arrived. On the door of the van was a crude sign which said, `Carl's Security Services.' The driver slowly climbed out from the van, opening the door and standing behind it as he began to speak.
"Hey!" The driver said, "You can't park here! This is private property! Move or I'll have to report you to the police."
"We're moving right now," Achmed said approaching the new vehicle.
From behind the door and hidden by it, the driver, who looked to David like Wes Harper, pushed off the safety on his 44 magnum revolver. David edged away from the others who had stopped to watch.
"Okay then," Wes said seeming to agree as he readied his weapon, then suddenly pulling it to the open window of the van and discharging his first shot into the head of the Al Quaida leader. Achmed dropped like a stone as the rear doors of the van flew open and 4 agents poured out with guns drawn.
David hit the dirt as three other Aztec vehicles raced to the site blocking the roadway. One of the Al Quaida operatives had grabbed the Uzi in his vehicle and was just raising it to shoot when he was dropped in a hail of gunfire. A second had jumped into his van, started it and was racing away across the dirt lot becoming the target of concentrated automatic assault weapon fire. It was nearly 80 yards away when it erupted in a huge ball of fire, causing a shock wave to rock the site of the remaining action. The only operative left standing raised his hands in surrender. Ordering a ceasefire, the agents moved in on the remaining attacker. Wes ordered that David be unharmed, and the young man was pulled to his feet, but kept under gunpoint, for the observation of the remaining terrorists.
As the agents moved in to secure the last terrorist, David saw that the man's upraised hands had dropped in a position where he could tear his vest apart.
"The vest is booby trapped!" David screamed as the terrorist began his move. Wes pulled the trigger of his cocked revolver and a large hole appeared in the forehead of the young Al Quaida agent followed by most of his brains exiting the much larger hole in the back of his skull.
The agent guarding David, alarmed by David's scream and the ensuing gunfire from Wes, panicked and pulled the trigger of his 9mm handgun that he had aimed at David.
Wes turned at the unexpected shot from his right and watched David crumple to the ground.
"HE'S ONE OF OURS" Wes screamed as he rushed to the fallen youth.
The officer who had fired, stood back in shock, dropping the arm that held the discharged pistol.
Wes quickly turned David on his back so that he could see the wound. Blood poured from the entry hole in David's upper right chest just outside the vest he was wearing. David stared into the eyes of his rescuer as Wes reached to remove David's vest so that he could attend the wound.
"No!" David demanded, coughing blood. "It's booby trapped too."
"Help me," Wes demanded from the other agents, "Let's move him away from the vehicles."
Four pairs of hands lifted David's body from the ground and moved it out into the clear part of the lot before setting him back down.
"Now get away, and get me a bomb expert," Wes shouted as he applied pressure to the wound. Grabbing his walkie-talkie he clicked the button opening up communications to the RET Chopper above.
"Man down," he said. "We need an emergency evacuation."
The helicopter which had already started its descent, set down quickly nearby in a cloud of dust. Wes had kept the wound covered to avoid unnecessary contamination. A bomb expert who had just arrived ran up in blast gear and with what appeared to be a toolbox.
"What's the M.O.?" the young expert asked crouching down next to Wes.
"This vest is explosive and booby-trapped to explode if removed," Wes reported.
"I know the design," the young man said, "perhaps you should get far away."
"Fuck that," Wes said pressing on David's wound. "This guy's gonna bleed to death if you don't hurry."
"It will just take a minute," the expert said as he began looking over the vest. "Can you turn him over?"
"I can hold him up by his feet if you want," Wes said as he rolled David's body over on its side.
"I've found the activation device," the agent said as he pulled back a Velcro panel on the back of the vest. Disarming the device, the agent ordered that David again be rolled onto his back. Pulling a pair of wires from his tool kit, he located the booby trap connection at the front of the vest. Attaching one end of the wire to each of the contact points he snapped the contacts apart, before unfastening the rest of the vest's closure devices. "It never hurts to be doubly sure," he said as he opened up the front of the vest. "Now let's get him out of this thing," he said as he held the two wires firmly against the contact points.
Wes pulled David, who was still conscious, up into a sitting position and lifted the vest up and away, lifting David's arms as he extracted the young man from the confines of the black bomb. Steadying David with one hand, Wes handed the vest to the young bomb expert who moved away to a safe distance.
Tyler rushed to the side of the stricken young man. "Good work son," He praised the young man. "We'll have you out of here and patched up in a jiffy."
"Thanks Tyler," David said coughing. "I wanted New Year's to go out with a bang, but I didn't want to be part of the fireworks. Guess I missed with that a little."
Two paramedics arrived with a gurney and moved David to it before laying him back down. They quickly dressed his wounds, and transported the gurney to the chopper where Butch had been busy removing rear seats to make room.
"Sorry we weren't set up for medevac," Butch apologized.
"No problem," one of the Paramedics said. "We'll make do. Lets get this thing off the ground and over to UMC. The patient is doing well, but we need to get him to the hospital before he loses too much blood."
"I'll wind the rubber band," Butch promised. "Get in and get strapped down. This baby is about to fly."
Three minutes later the RET helicopter lifted, then turned, climbing toward UMC.
Tyler and Wes looked over the site of all the excitement. The Aztec agents and the newly arrived Federal Agents had all been moved away from the vehicles, leaving the sight of the carnage to the bomb experts who were busy defusing all the bombs.
"I guess we'll spend the day filling out reports," Wes said to his former boss. "Let's talk to the Agent-in-charge, then we'll get out of here. They know where our offices are."
"Sounds good to me," Tyler said. "Can you give me a lift back to the office? The paramedics stole my ride."
"It's a pleasure Boss," Wes said. "I'll go talk to the Feds. I'm sure you need to make a call."
"Thanks Wes," Tyler replied as he pulled his cell phone from his pocket.
9 PM New Year's Eve, in a ballroom at the base of the Stratosphere tower.
The guests who had begun to arrive at the `pre-function' the hour before, spread out over the large room visiting with each other after being greeted at the door by Ron, Matt, Tyler and Dan. Virtually everyone who had touched their lives the past couple of years was there. The New York contingent was lead by Alan and Bryan, as well as Bryan's parents, Richard and Ann Adams, their son Dick and his fiancé Carol. Alan's son Rich and his partner Brandt accompanied the older family members. They were all greeted with hugs and kisses on their arrival. There was a group from the New York offices of RET too, including Jack Smith and Lonnie Austin, who would be moving to Las Vegas after the holidays to help Tyler with Genesis Energy.
From Atlanta, arrived Gary Franklin and Jessie Fox along with Peter Zeckendorf with his wife and parents. Gary, who ran the Atlanta office of Aztec-Turner security, paused with Tyler and touched in admiration on the recent Al Quaida coup in which Tyler and Wes had played such an important part. Promising to fill them in on the details either later or over the weekend, Tyler excused himself to return to greeting arriving guests.
Jeff Davis and his partner Phil Thompson were accompanied by two other men and their wives. The men would be heading up the operation of the Chicago offices of Turner Consulting when Jeff and Phil moved back to Las Vegas to work with Dan in Eden Water Resources.
Other miscellaneous guests also arrived from other parts of the country and even beyond. From Aruba came Ron's friend Scott Telford and his partner, who until the previous month lived in Boston before retiring with Scott at his home there. Others from California, Florida and even St. Louis were attending the party.
When Chet McDonald and his male guest brought in Luke and Damon as partners, and "Buck" Rogers, who was accompanied by a gorgeous hunk of a man, Ron's smile got even bigger. In meeting the two additional guests, Ron remarked at how pleased they all were that they were now part of the family of friends. Will and his wife had come over when Chet and his entourage appeared, leading them to the bar after their greeting, to make sure they felt included as part of the party. Will stayed with the group introducing them around to many of Ron, Matt, Tyler and Dan's friends and associates.
As large as the out of state groups were, the friends from town were even larger. Ron's entire household staff was there led by Dorothy, Parker and his wife Mary. Parker's nephew George brought along a surprise guest on his arm. Not that the guest was a surprise since they all expected him to be there, just not at George's side. Nathan was smiling at the slightly older man like a moonstruck kid. After their mouths closed from the shock, the four "Turner men" grinned in approval, congratulating them both on a fine catch. The three "Arts Directors" followed and were greeted with special warmth by Matt who had worked with them in developing the Arts Trust.
Guest after guest from Las Vegas continued to arrive. From the medical community, Paul McInerny, the administrator from UMC and his wife arrived with Dr. Davis Clark, the Chief of Staff, and his wife. Ron's personal doctor, Dr. Hazeltoff followed. They all expressed their regrets on Douglas' untimely demise, and were aware that David had been patched up and released to be able to attend the night's function, even though confined to a wheel chair.
Mabel Kendrick, the owner of "Mabel's Moppers", the mother of Tony Mattusa and of Tony's two younger brothers Petey and Georgie arrived on the arm of Tony and his lover Hans Larson. Captain Larson, the Captain of the PT II followed his son and his partner into the room, receiving warm handshakes and hugs from the four men.
Metro officer Perry Chestnut, Officer Turnbull, and Officer Blake came to pay their respects before returning to their New Year's duties, where virtually every policeman in town was put to use.
Robert and Jeffery also came together. The two staffers were practically household members, living in Ron's garage apartment and still taking care of the household vehicles. They announced that they would be moving out and into their own place in February. Ron and Matt both smiled at the handsome couple, saying how truly proud they were of them and their professional achievements.
Pete Seigler, the rising star of Turner Construction, led his partner Jared Simpson, who was now a manager at Friday Tires. Ken Friday and his wife trailed the pair, and they in turn were followed by Cody Desmond and Michael Thomas, another pair that Ken had helped along with Jason Cummings and Darryl Hannah.
Many people from the local operations of the Turner Companies arrived too. Will Nuggent, and his wife had greeted the Turner clan early on. Margaret, Ron's secretary also arrived with her husband, and Jan Bounett had come alone as her husband was out of town with an ailing grandmother. Other officers of the company and a number of local townspeople who were special friends of the Turners also made their presence known.
Ron and Matt both smiled broadly when Jake Marley and Tony Tegano arrived from Houston. Following behind them was Tommy, in a wheel chair, pushed by Des. Giving both the men and boys a hug, Matt introduced his brother and Dan to the foursome. Dan pointed out to the boys a smaller adjacent room where, Tyler revealed, Ronnie and Jerry were acting as hosts to the younger set. Margaret and Jan had helped set up entertainment more suited to youngsters, after the boys pleaded with Matt for such an activity, fearful that the kids would become bored with the conversations of adults for an entire evening. There was a small stage where acrobats, magicians, and other entertainment groups had been engaged to perform for the kids. A few of the older guys darted back and forth between rooms, not sure whether to stay in the adult room where they could mingle with older people, or indulge in a last swing at childhood in the room with the younger ones.
In that room the boys from Thornton also had migrated. While most of the Senior Staff of Thornton mingled with their Director Leonard Johnson in the large room, several of the house parents had offered to serve as chaperones in the smaller one.
By ten o'clock the stream of new arrivals had ceased. Ron, Matt, Tyler and Dan circulated as couples, continuing to greet and converse with their guests enjoying the lively conversations. At 10:30 the Turner foursome mounted the stage just vacated by the band that had been playing for those who wished to dance as well as drink, snack, or just converse with long lost friends. The small room containing the boys had been emptied, with the younger ones joining the adults in the main ballroom.
Ron raised his hand for attention, and most of the guest migrated toward the stage, slowly terminating their private conversations.
"I'd like to welcome you all again to our party to celebrate the coming New Year," he began. "First I need to take care of a little housekeeping business. After my words of greetings here, we'll all migrate to the tower in elevator 1 which is a double-decker. Either elevator cab will take you up, but only the lower one will arrive at the dining room floor. For those of you taking the upper cab, you need only to go down the grand staircase to the dining room when you exit the elevator. Dinner will be served at 11 and you will find noisemakers, hats and all the silly New Year's Eve items at your table. The band has moved upstairs and will play until 1:15. The party will last until 1:30, and I'd suggest that you stay until close to that time if possible, because the traffic will be murder until around 1, unless you're staying here in this hotel or are within walking distance of your hotel. There are taxis available downstairs which we'd recommend too. Those guys know their way around better than visitors ever could."
"Now that the announcements are over, I'd like to say a few words before we go up to dinner since the restaurant up there is like a donut and you won't be able to see except out over the valley."
Ron cleared his throat and took a sip of water before continuing.
"I know that many of you know all of us well, but some of you don't, and some of you know only some of us. I'd like to formally introduce you to our family."
He motioned the boys at the foot of the stairs to join the four older men. Four of the boys lifted the wheelchair containing a reluctant David to the stage, and followed him to the left of Ron. Once they were in place, he began again.
"For any of you that do not know me, I'm Ron Turner. The gorgeous hunk to my right is my life partner, Matt Davidson. Next to him is my brother, Tyler Turner and his partner, Dan Barnes. On my left are our sons. First is Ronnie Turner, then Jerry Turner, then Eddie Rice Burroughs and Zack Turner. To the left of them starting with the handsome lad in the chair are our "soon to be Turners." In the chair is David, then Carl, and then finally Nathan. Just so you know, Jerry and Zack belong to Tyler and Dan. The rest of them are Matt's and mine. There you have it folks, the Turner tribe."
A large round of applause along with a few rowdy voices rose from the guests.
"Now," Ron said, "I have a few witty words for you."
A huge groan arose from the crowd followed by laugher as Matt said in a low voice, " Or maybe half-witty."
Ron's eyes twinkled as he faked a glare at his partner, then pretended not to notice the crowd's response as he took some notes from his pocket.
"I'd like to pass on to you some wisdom with a few anecdotes that will leave you uplifted and ready to face the New Year. The first is called, "You know you are living in 2005 when^Å.." Ron began to read.
"1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave. 2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years. 3. You have 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3. 4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you. 5. Your reason for not staying in touch with family or friends is that they don't have e-mail addresses. 6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries. 7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen. 8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 years of your life, is now cause for panic and you turn around to go get it. 10. You get up in the morning and go on-line before getting your coffee. 11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. (Ron drew a sideways `smiley face' in the air, to the titter of more laughter. 12. You're listening to this and nodding. 13. You were too distracted to notice that there was no number 9 on the list. 14. You're now scratching your head wondering why you missed number 9.
AND NOW YOU ARE LAUGHING AT YOURSELF. Welcome to the New Year!"
Laughter and applause followed the presentation.
"I'm only just beginning," Ron said to more laughter.
"The next piece is called `A lesson in Political Science'," Ron began by reading from his next paper.
"Democratic: You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful
Barbara Streisand sings for you.
Republican: You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?
Socialist: You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.
Communist: You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour. Capitalism, American style: You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull and build a herd of cows. Bureaucracy, American style: You have two cows. Under the new farm program, the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pours the milk down the drain.
American Corporation: You have two cows. You sell one, lease it back to yourself, and do an IPO on the second one. You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating that you have downsized and are reducing expenses. Your stock goes up.
French Corporation: You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine.
Life is good.
Japanese Corporation: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains. Most are at the top of their class in cow school.
German Corporation: You have two cows. You engineer them so that they are blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk and run a hundred miles an hour. Unfortunately, they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.
Italian Corporation: You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
While ambling around you see a beautiful woman.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.
Russian Corporation: You have two cows.
You have some vodka.
You count them and find you have five cows.
You have some more vodka.
You count them again and find that you have 42 cows. The Mafia shows up and takes over and takes however many cows you really have.
Taliban Corporation: You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two. You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives to milk production, but use the money to buy guns.
Iraqi Corporation: You have two cows.
They go into hiding.
They send radio tapes of their mooing.
Polish Corporation: You have two bulls. Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.
Belgian Corporation: You have one cow.
The cow is schizophrenic.
Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish.
The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.
The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk.
The cow asks to be cut in half.
The cow dies happy.
Florida Corporation: You have a black cow and brown cow.
Everyone votes for the best looking one. Some of the people who actually like the brown cow best accidentally vote for the black one. Some people vote for both. Some people vote for neither Some people can't figure out how to vote at all. Finally a bunch of guys from out of state tell you which one you think is the best looking cow.
California Corporation: You have millions of cows.
They make real California cheese.
Only 5 speak English.
Most are illegals.
Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.
Ron bowed, amidst the laughter. When the laughter died, Ron raised his arms again for silence. In a moment the crowd hushed.
"As I said before, Matt and I, Tyler and Dan, and all our boys thank you for spending the start of a New Year with us. The coming year will reveal much that is new, much that is startling, and much that is only dreamed of. It will also bring sorrow, pain and suffering. It is our dream that we can make the world a better place, not just for us in this room, but for all mankind. We know it's a big dream, but we believe that we can make a difference. We see a vision for the future that will raise the spirits of all men. Free spirits, free from want, free from hunger and free from oppression should be goals for all of us. The earth is ours to use wisely or abuse to our downfall. It is the home of billions of people, most of whom envy what we in America have achieved. We ourselves are not content. We want to conquer the heavens as well as the Earth, but we need to conquer it for the sake of peace, for the sake of brotherhood, for the sake of love. We can be proud of our world. It is a beauty unmatched in our knowledge of the universe. Yet we have so much to do. The very size and resources of our planet are limited to feed, house and clothe our populations. I say populations, like they are a statistic. Remember that populations are made up of individuals. People who live, breathe, love and die before us. It is those people who are really worth loving. People, in the long run, are all that count.
I count myself the luckiest man on earth. Not because I'm good looking, young, wealthy or smart. I count myself lucky because I have people who love me. I have a mate, a family, and I have you, my friends. What more could any man desire?
Now I'd like to pray expressing our thanks before we go up to the tower and eat. If you'd bow your heads^Å.."
"Lord our God, We come before You full of hope and gladness for the coming year. We thank You for all you have given us. We thank You for our worldly goods, for our country and for all the peoples of the earth. We ask that You give us the knowledge, wisdom and strength to make the world a better place. We ask that You give us a kind heart, one that accepts the differences of others and one that shows respect toward those same people, Your children. Now we give thanks for the meal that soon we'll enjoy together. Keep us mindful of those who tonight are hungry or alone. Place your hand upon them Lord and keep them safe. Finally, Lord I thank You for family and friends. It is your highest achievement. It is the gift of love. May our love for one another spread throughout the world and touch the hearts and minds of every man. All this we ask in Your holy name. Amen.
"Amen" rumbled through the audience.
Ron offered his hand to Matt, his lover, looked at Tyler his dear Brother, who had also taken his partner Dan's hand, then nodding to the boys, led the family toward the elevators to greet the New Year.