Warnings and Disclaimers: See chapter 1
Matt relived the whole incident every night in his dreams.
He'd taken his place in the stands and tried to force himself to be calm. Joe knew what he was doing. The starting flag was waved and Matt's eye was trained on his brother's bike. Colors zoomed by but even at top speed, he never lost track of Joe. He was having a good run. He was in the middle of the pack and there was plenty of time before Joe needed to make a move and distinguish himself as a pack leader.
Matt had even felt relaxed enough to buy something from one of the vendors selling hotdogs up and down the aisle. He really wanted a beer. Joe let him drink beer from time to time but he knew he'd have no luck getting one here. The participants had finished their first lap around the track and Joe was in the breakaway group still riding comfortably in the middle of the pack. Matt knew his brother's strategy well. He wasn't really expected to win but he wanted to have a decent showing to entice new sponsors and qualify him for other races. Joe was performing much better than expected. That's when he decided to make his move and challenge the favorites; only he wasn't the only one with that same idea.
Joe made a break for the outside lane to pass the number one contender. At the same time another racer made the same move. The wheels bumped and both Joe and the other biker spun out of control. Joe's bike must of hit a ridge or something because he and his bike were suddenly airborne. To Matt the whole thing happened very fast yet played out in slow motion before him. When the bike landed Joe went sailing tumbling uncontrollably with the bike skidding and rolling behind him.
Matt couldn't remember how he made it down to the field so fast. One minute he was in the stands and the next he was running towards Joe. It was Jim and his brother David, who Matt and Joe had stayed with the previous year that caught him and held on to him while paramedics assessed Joe's situation. Joe's bloodied and pained face being carried past him was a sight Matt knew he'd never forget.
Against the dark Matt opened his eyes panting heavily. He reached across to the space where his brother should be. He sighed feeling the empty space beside him. Each time he awoke, it took several minutes for him to make sense of where he was and what had happened.
Joe wasn't there. He was still in the hospital recovering from the accident that killed his biking career. His right leg had been shattered; he'd been in a coma for several days. He'd suffered internal injuries as well.
Jim and David, Joe's friends, had taken charge and Matt was grateful. They'd found a studio apartment close to the hospital for Matt to stay in. They squared things with his job so he could take a few days off and visit Joe. They even called Claire for him. Claire had visited briefly. Though she and Matt hadn't reconciled, they did call a truce and concentrated on Joe's needs. Claire was instrumental in finding out as much information about Joe's accident and relaying the information to her son. She'd introduced herself as Joe's stepmom. Joe's real mother couldn't be tracked down. She was a free spirit still living the hippie life style. For all Matt knew, she could have been in another country.
With his best friend Jim there, Claire was insisting the Matt come back to Philly before school started. He knew he couldn't do that but didn't argue with his mom. He decided it was time to consult with Jim about his options. Matt wasn't dumb and he'd been doing the research every since he'd found a job. He wanted to be with Joe and he was pretty sure he knew a way he could.
Matt had a new routine now. Go to work, visit Joe, go home and crash. The nightmares continued and each morning it was a struggle to make himself believe that Joe was still alive and would be okay. Jim flew home and promised to work on Matt's request. David left too, he would soon be returning to college.
As painful as it was to see Joe so battered and bruised, it was infinitely better than the other possibilities. Joe was awake, his recovery was slow but he was his old self again at least mentally.
"When are you leaving to go back to school?" Joe asked one night when Matt was visiting.
"I'm not," Matt said bracing himself for an argument.
"Mattie," Joe began to scold.
"I'm filing for emancipation," Matt answered firmly. "I'm staying here with you."
"Was this Jim's idea?"
"No, it was mine. I know what I'm doing."
"Do you?" Joe wondered if either of them truly knew what they had gotten themselves into. He couldn't help but notice the pattern of near tragedy each time they'd tried to be happy together.
"I know you think I'm too young to know what I want, but I do." Matt knew he sounded like a willful child trying to get his way but he had thought everything through. His mom had thrown him out when she found out he was gay. He couldn't go back to her and have her watching his every move. Joe was what he wanted. They had a nice life together over the summer. He knew they could do this, have a relationship. He wanted to give it a fair shot.
"It's not like we can go walking together holding hands and kissing Mattie."
"How is that different from any other gay couple? Most are fearful to openly display their affection for one another."
Joe laughed. His brother was too damn smart for his own good.
"Besides, nobody really knows us here. We can do what we want. Tell people we're married."
"Mattie, I won't be able to support us for quite sometime. How are we going to live?" Joe wanted to join his brother in his little fantasy but he simply couldn't. There was a real world out there and Matt needed to understand that.
"Jim helped me find a studio apartment. I have job," Matt insisted.
"What about school? I never finished high school Mattie. I don't want you to end up like me."
"I'll get my GED, I'll go to college at night. This can work." Matt was getting frustrated. It was all to clear that Joe didn't want him around.
"I'll have lots of medical bills and I don't have insurance. We just can't do this right now Mattie. You need to go home."
"You're right, visiting hours are nearly over," Matt answered. Joe knew his brother understood what he meant.
"God you're stubborn," Joe sighed.
"Runs in the family." Matt leaned forward and kissed his brother lightly. "I'll see you tomorrow."
"Mattie, you don't have to come everyday."
"I know," he winked. He gave Joe a lingering kiss before finally leaving.
Joe was secretly glad his little argument hadn't worked. He didn't think he could go through the rehabilitation therapy without Matt by his side.