Fandom: Brotherly Love Pairing: Matt Roman/Joe Roman Warnings: incest Disclaimer: Brotherly Love is owned and copyrighted by Witt-Thomas Productions, Warner Bros and Disney.
Matt was seething. Every since his half brother Joe showed up, things had changed. His mom Claire for one, had taken to asking Joe advice about he and Andy. He often overheard them discussing some insane thing his frenetic little brother did or worst of all discussing him. Matt wasn't popular in school, mostly because he was shy. He knew some girls thought he was cute but he didn't mix socially with any of them. He was something of a geek. In fact if Matt dared to admit it to himself, he didn't even like girls. Often after gym he would find himself in the locker room changing and trying hard not to let the other boys see how hard he was getting, seeing them stripped down to their briefs. For this reason he took a locker in a deserted corner of the room and kept away from the others, making him more of a freak then he already was.
Matt couldn't wait to graduate and go to college. 'Just three more years', he thought. Matt sat on his bed in his room brooding over all these things. Worst of all he had started having fantasies about his new brother. Joe was muscular. He wore too tight jeans and t-shirts. He had thick wavy long hair desperately in need of cutting. At 18 he seemed much older. Often times Matt could swear Joe was flirting with him, but he convinced himself it was wishful thinking.
Joe also ragged on Matt a lot, which made Matt even more miserable. Sometimes at night Matt would slip his hand beneath his sheet and close his eyes, imagining it was Joe's hand that brought him to completion, biting his lip as he came to keep from waking the entire household. Matt took to doing more laundry since his older siblings arrival. Now Claire, his mom, was sitting in the kitchen discussing this with Joe. 'Could his life get any more suckier?" he thought.
"Don't worry Claire, I'll have a talk with him", Matt heard his brother say. He could just imagine the many ways Joe would humiliate him after their talk.
"Thanks Joe", his mom replied. "Since your father died, he hasn't had any male he could discuss things with."
Matt squared his shoulders and entered the kitchen. He was determined to break up their little gabfest.
"Hey buddy, what's up?"
Matt couldn't tell if Joe was trying to imply something or just asking. "Nothin", was his curt reply.
"You wanna hang out today. You know... just us guys."
Matt stuck his head in the refrigerator pretending to look for something. His day was on a downhill spiral and it wasn't even nine o'clock yet. "I guess", he shrugged, closing the fridge after a few minutes.
"Great. Grab your coat. We'll go get some breakfast."
Before Matt could answer, Joe was bounding out the door that led to the garage. He turned to get his coat out of his room when his mother piped up.
"I think it's nice you too are getting to know each other better."
Matt paused for a brief moment attempting to say something to his mother. He thought better of it and kept walking. A few minutes later he met Joe down by his pickup truck. His 5'10 frame was leaning against the passenger door casually. Matt averted his eyes trying not to stare at the star of his latest wet dreams.
"Hop in", Joe said cheerily.
Matt skulked past him and into the truck. He stared out the passenger side window until he heard the other door shut and the engine start.
'Please let this be a short trip', Matt prayed.
Joe steered the car out of the garage and onto the street. After several minutes he broke the silence permeating the car.
"You get a good nights sleep?"
Matt could feel his face flush with embarrassment. He thought Joe would use a little more tact to broach the subject.
"Look, I overheard you and mom talking. I don't want to discuss this with you."
"It's nothing to be embarrassed about buddy. It's perfectly natural", Joe answered, calmly.
"No it's not", Matt shouted. It's not natural for my mom to discuss something so personal with a stranger. It's not natural for you to pretend to be my friend when your not. It's not natural to want..." Matt stopped himself, embarrassed that he had said so much.
Joe pulled the car over on a deserted street. He eyed his younger half brother for a moment.
"Ok. We don't know each other that well. But your mom thought you'd be more comfortable talking about this with a guy." Joe was trying to be patient and understanding. He wanted Matt to learn to trust him.
"You can't help me. Not with this." Matt was miserable. He felt like a total freak. How could the most macho guy he'd ever met understand this?
"Mattie, you're at an age where you are discovering girls, and your body is going through a lot of changes. I know. I've been there", Joe said, patting Matt's leg comfortingly.
Matt jumped at the touch, his body instantly betraying him. Embarrassed he reached for the door handle to escape. A strong hand clasped his shoulder and pulled him back. Joe noticed the obvious bulge in the younger boys jeans and smiled.
"This isn't about girls is it?"
Matt couldn't face the older boy. He hung his head low and placed his hands in his lap, trying to hide the tent in his pants. Joe reached over and took the brunette's chin in his hand, forcing him to look up at him. Tears welled up in the younger boys eyes as the shame and humiliation overtook him.
Joe unfastened his seat belt and pulled Matt against his chest.
"Ssh. It's all right. Let's... let's go somewhere quiet and talk about this."
He felt his brother shake his head furiously against him.
"Mattie, it's okay. I won't tell anybody. I know how you feel. I've been through it."
With that Matt looked into his half brother's eyes. Instead of scorn, he found compassion and understanding there.
"You won't tell mom?" Matt asked between sobs.
Placing a gentle kiss a top his head Joe promised. "No, I won't tell Claire. But one day when you're ready, and your sure, I hope you will."
Joe smiled at his sibling and started the car again. They drove to a diner, where they sat and ate in companionable silence. Joe made sure to choose a secluded booth so they could talk after. He sat patiently and waited for Matt to begin.
Matt shifted his food from one side of the plate to the other with his fork. Joe was being so nice to him, but he couldn't help thinking that the older boy was setting him up. He had teased him so much since his arrival, that Matt was certain he was waiting for him to spill his guts, just to humiliate him further. He glanced up and saw Joe watching him. Concern was the only look distinquishable on the face that had haunted his dreams night after night. Clearing his throat, Matt found his voice and began to speak in hushed tones.
"I...I think I'm", Matt took a deep breath. He couldn't believe he was about to confess something like this to the man that sat across from him.
Joe reached across the table and place his hand over his brother's. He ran soothing circles over the back of the younger boy's hand.
"IthinkImgay", Matt blurted out, running all the words together as if they were one.
"Ok", Joe replied, still stroking the younger boy's hand. "I think you said that you think you're gay."
Matt nodded his head, his eyes looking somewhere beyond Joe.
"Are you sure?" Joe watched a number of expressions wash across his brother's face.
Matt nodded his head in the affirmative and looked down at his plate. Joe was still holding his hand, making it impossible for the boy to concentrate.
"How do you know you're gay?" Joe asked softly.
"I'm... I don't...when I", Matt's voice broke and tears spilled down his cheek. His face was red with shame. He wanted to run as far away as possible, but the rough calloused hand holding his kept him there.
"Ssh Mattie, it's okay. Let's get out of here okay?" Joe released the teen's hand, fearful the boy might flee. He motioned to the waitress for the check.
Matt averted his eyes, not wanting the woman to see his face for fear she would know why he was crying. Joe stood first, putting on his jacket and then pulling his brother out of the boothe. They walked out into the crisp morning air and back to the truck. They drove in silence with Matt not daring to look at his brother until he felt the vehicle come to a halt.
"Wait here", Joe commanded and exited.
Finally looking up, Matt saw the the tacky neon sign "Gateway Motor Inn". Fear and confusion overtook him. His heart raced and his stomach was doing flip flops, threatening to expel the small amount of breakfast he had managed to eat.
Joe returned to the truck and drove around the side, pulling to a stop in front of a door marked 19.
"C'mon", he said, exiting the vehicle with a key in his hand.
Matt followed for lack of knowing what else to do. 'I tell him I'm gay and he takes me to a motel.' Matt felt hurt and betrayed. There was no real concern for him, as he had first thought. He was simply looking for a quick and easy lay. Matt paused just outside of the door. His head was spinning and he was feeling sick.
"Matt, Mattie?" Joe cried out.
Matt opened his eyes, and found himself laying on a bed. Joe was placing a cool cloth on his head and speaking in hushed tones. Matt attempted to sit up to quickly and immediately regretted it.
"Easy Matt. Take it easy."
"What do you want from me?" Matt accused. "Why did you bring me here?"
Matt instantly regretted those words when he saw the look of hurt wash over his brother's face. Joe stood, placing the cloth on the end table by the bed.
"I don't want anything but your trust."
Joe walked to the curtained window and stood there with his back to the younger boy.
"Joe. I'm... I'm sorry. I thought you wanted to...to" For the second time that morning, Matt felt the tears running down his cheek. His voice cracked and he sobbed openly.
Seconds later he found himself crushed in the warm embrace of his brother. His voice was low and soothing. His hands ran up and down his back.
"Alright Mattie, it's alright. I just wanted a place for us to talk. It was silly of me to bring you here without an explanation. Is that why you fainted? Were you afraid I was going to hurt you?"
Matt clung to his brother tighter, nodding his head against the older man's chest. He found comfort in the strong arms wrapped around him and the muscular chest he was nestled against.
"I would never hurt you Mattie", his brother assured. "Never. I just wanted a quiet place for us to talk."
Joe pulled away slightly to look at his brother. Cupping his chin he raised the younger boy's head and looked into his eyes.
"Mattie, I'm bisexual. Do you know what that means?"
Matt nodded his head yes.
"Good. I want to help you. There is nothing for you to be ashamed of. Do you understand?"
Again Matt nodded. He was afraid he if he spoke, he just might start crying again.
"Good, now go to the bathroom and wash your face. I'm going to get you something to eat. When I come back we'll talk, okay?"
"Okay", Matt squeaked, trying to find his voice again.
Joe placed a soft kiss on his brother's forehead. Grabbing his jacket, he headed for the door.
"Lock the door behind me. I'll be back shortly. I love you."
Joe exited leaving Matt stunned. 'I love you.' Matt played these words over and over again as he headed for the bathroom. Suddenly his day was shaping up much better than he had imagined.