I was at their little 'audition'. John was on drums, Louis was on bass, and Adam was on guitar. They started cranking out some kind of emo song that I was supposed to sing along to. As they played I didn't sing, I just waited for them to stop.
"What?" Louis asked.
"I'm not singing along with that emo shit, play something heavier." I demanded.
Louis gave me an unsure look and waved his hand for everyone else to start playing something heavier. Louis immediately started with a slow single string bass tune. Then Adam came in with a screech on the guitar and the drums hit like thunder. I was ready. As soon as I felt it his the right beat, I started screaming into the mic. Once I ran out of lyrics to sing, we stopped. John was smiling.
"Looks like we found a new band member, no more emo too." John said.
Practice was usually at Johns house. He had a big basement and his parents didn't care about the noise. They just left their equipment at Johns house.
It took me a bit before I got used to that, but after a few practices I became closer with them, and trusted John enough with my mic and amp. After a few weeks of practice we were getting pretty good, my writing was getting alot better, and the band was playing together much easier, no one was alone, it was all a single sound.
We usually practiced alone, but this time Katie came. We played just as we always did, Good. After we were done with two songs Katie ran up to me and gave me a big kiss on the cheek. She put her arms around me.
"I love you...."
To be honest, I didn't know what to say. I mean, I knew when someone told you that, you were supposed to say the same thing back to them, but it didn't feel right. It felt kind of like a five year old would say "fuck" to their parents, like it just, wasn't supposed to happen. So I didn't say anything back, but I did hold her tight.
"I think we're starting to get pretty good guys, there a uh, local band thing, you know, its outside, and a few bands go up and play a few songs, it'll be cool, I think we should go." John said.
"Sounds good" Louis agreed.
"Whatever, sounds good to me I guess." Adam said.
I nodded.
"Heya....can I go? Too bad Jake can't go, hes still grounded from when we had that party at his house. I told him he was going to get into trouble, but I guess he felt it was sort of worth it." Katie said, giggling after she mentioned he was grounded.
"Melissa gonna go to?" I asked Katie.
"Probably not, shes going through some family problems, and she might actually leave." Katie said. She actually got quiet after that. She had a very close relationship with Melissa. It's probably going to hurt her if she leaves, but she can always latch onto me if she needs to.
We still met up those days before the show. We didn't practice a whole lot, but we just mainly sat around talking about it. It wasn't going to be a big thing, but it meant alot to us. This was going to be the first time we performed live in front of anyone. Katie really started hanging out with me alot, I think shes starting to actually like me. I mean, at that party we all had sex with each other, but I think shes really actually starting to....ah...I dunno....Well, since Melissa is moving, she probably feels like she needs to make up for that lack of love. Before she always was with Melissa, now shes always with me. Fuck, who am I to think that she actually likes me? Shes just latching on, feeding off of what little love I can offer her.
The day of the show we all rode in Louis's car. There wasn't enough room, so Katie had to sit on my lap, she was more than happy enough. Jesus Christ, I was about to blow up the entire ride. Her beautiful ass moving from side to side the entire ride. It was like having a lap dance for about fifteen minutes. The ride was almost over, but I couldn't stand it. I took my middle finger and slid it down her crack. She then leaned against my chest and kissed my neck.
"Hey! No sex in the car!" Adam said. He was sitting right next to us.
"No Fun." Katie said, they both laughed.
I still had a raging hard on that was being teased by katies beautiful behind. I had to get off soon. Once we got there Katie stepped out of the car and I hurried behind her. I grabbed Katies asscheeks and started making out with her.
"What? Are we gonna have to cancel the show cause you guys are gonna be too busy backstage!" John laughed.
"We won't be long" I said.
"Dude, come on, no fuckin' around, we gotta play. We're the late, and we'r almost up, we still gotta set up our stuff." Louis complained.
I was fucking dying inside, I wanted to fuck her so bad. We started setting up, with the time left until we play, there wasn't even a chance I'd be able to jackoff, never mind fuck Katie. Whatever, after the show I guess.....
I stepped onstage. All kinds of people were looking at me. People mainly my age and younger, not a whole lot of people besides a few parents who were older. But still, alot of people. Cool. Some guy came onstage to come and introduce us, then we started playing.
Instead of all the music starting one at a time, it all started at once in a huge, heavy sound. As I felt the music enter my body, I became enraged. The mix of energetic music and my horomones inside my body made quite the mix when I was about to play. I had to sing now, I needed to, I needed it. I had to do it.
I started screaming into the mic. People were starting to get into it. I had to do something, singing wasn't enough. I spotted a chair in the corner, I went over to it, grabbed it, swung it around my head a few times and threw it into the audience. Right when the chair hit a few people started fighting. I had bought a longer wire earlier, so I wouldn't be stuck in one place. I jumped off the stage and into the crowd. As I sang, fights started forming around me. Some guy came up to me and pushed me, I dropped the mic and started wailing on him. Once he was outcold I walked back over to the mic, I took it in my hands and looked at the steel covering the speaking part. I repeatedly smashed it into my head. I felt blood run down my right eye.
This is my therapy. My release. All the built up emotions, rage, memories I have. These all came out. I was freeing myself. Self destruction is my way of self gratification.
I saw some guy start to walk away, he looked afraid. This isn't right. I have to teach him that this feels good. He doesn't know what he's missing out on. I ran over, grabbed him, and headbutted him several times until I saw him bleed. I don't know if he was bleeding or if that was my blood on him, but he looked like he was about to pass out, I dropped him.
Then I heard sirens. Shit! Someone called the cops, I guess they were starting to get afraid. I ran up onstage, grabbed my mic and amp and ran to Louis's car. Good, everyone else did the same thing. We put all of our stuff inside and and got in. Wait, shit! Wheres Katie?
"Wait a minute, I gotta get Katie"
I didn't wait around long enough to hear their responses, I booked it. I went back into the crowd looking for her. I started to think things, what if she got caught in a fight? What if she got trampled by the crowd? Where the fuck is she?
Then I heard a voice behind me call out my name. Fuckin' Christ, it was Katie. I grabbed her and held her tight.
"I thought you got hurt, im glad you're alright." I held her hand and ran with her back to the car. Like good allies, they were there waiting for me.
I got in and Katie got on my lap. We drove off. We went to John's house.
No one said a word when we got in. We just sat down and took a deep breathe. Katie was the first to say something.
"And you were worried I got hurt?" she said as she wiped the blood off of my head with a cloth. Louis laughed.
"That was fucking CRAZY!" John said.
"We almost got arrested" Adam laughed.
"Felt good though, didn't it?" I said.
"You're sitting here dying, and you're asking us if it felt good!" John laughed.
"So, when's the next show?" I asked.
TO BE CONTINUED....