Rock Bottom By Paul
Note: This story does not imply anything about the sexuality of Brian Littrell or Nick Carter of the Backstreet Boys. If you are under 18 or are offended by homosexual literature, then you should go away now.
Thanks for the positive response to Chapter One. Those responses motivate me to keep on writing, so keep them coming. I hope all of your questions will be answered below. On with the story.
Chapter Two:
Brian sat in the uncomfortable chair which was positioned beside Nick's bed. Brian surveyed the surroundings: he listened to the continual beeping of the heart monitor and watched as the respirator moved up and down. The hospital surroundings were so dreary and depressing that he wondered for a moment about the merit of keeping a boy as depressed as Nick in such a God-awful place.
Brian kept reminding himself how good it was that he was there when it happened. If he hadn't, Nick wouldn't be alive at all. But there were so many questions Brian wanted to ask his unconscious friend but Nick, of course, not being awake yet, was not able to answer. Firstly, Brian wanted to know how long he had been so depressed and why Nick had never come to him. And secondly, Brian wanted to know who this Justin person was and what had happened between him and Nick.
At that moment, a nurse came in. She checked Nick's IV and noted the heart monitor readings on his chart. Quickly, she turned toward Brian. "Has Mr. Le Blanc moved at all?" she asked.
"No," Brian replied. "I'm waiting for something - anything from him."
"Well, he should wake up soon enough. There's no need to worry, Mr. Salisbury."
Brian nodded, and the nurse left the room. It was Brian's quick thinking to admit Nick using an alias. That way, the media wouldn't be able to grab hold of Nick's attempted suicide and possibly hinder his recovery. Brian had spoken with the Chief of Staff of the hospital upon Nick's admittance and explained the entire situation, and the Chief of Staff easily agreed to the use of the aliases.
After the nurse had left, Brian looked at his sleeping friend. Nick's face was so pale, but so very smooth. The boy hardly had to shave since he was so fair of face. Nick's blond hair was brushed backward by the nurse so his bangs wouldn't bother the doctors during examinations. Brian admired Nick's beauty, and then continually asked himself why Nick did such an awful thing to himself.
Brian, with his right hand, held onto Nick's left hand, and stroked Nick's arm, carefully not to disturb the IV tubing, with his left. Before the psychiatrist had taken it away from him, Brian had read Nick's suicide note over and over, and thought that he could tell Nick that he was loved by his touch. Brian loved Nick with all his heart, but mostly in the way one loves their friend. However, Brian had some feelings that were far from friendship for Nick...
Just then, Nick's eyes fluttered. Slowly, Nick rolled his head to the right, and almost painfully, opened his eyes. Nick head was in such a direction that he was looking out he window, and the sunlight hurt his newly awakened eyes. Quickly, he shifted his head to the right, and in that position, he was looking at Brian.
Nick very disoriented, asked, "What happened?"
Brian moved his chair so he was sitting closer to Nick's face. A tear that originated at his left eye rolled down Brian's face. "You scared me, Nicky," Brian responded.
Nick seemed to be more aware of what had happened now. "Why am I not dead?" Nick asked coldly.
"You're not dead because I figured out what you did to yourself and got you to the hospital," Brian replied.
"Didn't you read the note?" Nick asked.
"Yeah, I did, Nicky. That was some pretty scary stuff."
"And it should have been pretty obvious to you that I wanted to be gone."
"Nick," Brian said, "I was not going to let one of my best friends die."
"It's what I wanted, Bri," Nick said. "I'm not good enough to be on this planet. Nobody loves me. I was much better of dead. I am much better off dead."
"You're wrong, Nick," Brian replied, with another few tears rolling down his face. "I love you, and you aren't much better off dead."
"You're just saying that," Nick said. "You don't love me, and nobody loves me. I'm not able to be loved."
"You're wrong, Nick. You're very wrong."
"Just go, Brian," Nick yelled. "I can't speak to you right now."
Brian hesitated, but he rose from his chair. He knew that if he subjected Nick to too much stress, Nick could end up being hurt enough again to resort to suicide. So, Brian quietly walked out of Nick's hospital room, opening and closing the door without a sound.
Once he was outside, Brian leaned his arm against the wall, placed his head up against his arm and let the tears flow that he had been holding back in front of Nick. It hurt Brian so much to see his little Nicky this way, and as much as Nick's words had hurt him, Brian decided that he would stand by his sick friend no matter what. Quickly, he took in a deep, hard breath and stood up straight.
Brian walked over to the Nurses' Station and asked if there was any way he could get some coffee. A nice nurse directed him into the Nursing Office and showed him a coffee maker. He poured himself a cup of coffee and inserted a healthy amount of cream and sugar. With his coffee, Brian walked out into the hall and stood in front of Nick's room.
Nick's room was quite close to the elevator, so Brian passed the time by watching the different people go on and come off. Just then, a man of about forty in a doctor's coat came off the elevator and walked toward Brian.
The doctor extended his hand to Brian. "Good morning. I'm Dr. Thomas Locke, and I'm Mr. Le Blanc's staff psychiatrist. I understand that you're a friend of Nick's."
"Yes, I am," Brian replied. "He's like a brother to me."
"Good," responded Dr. Locke. "I understand that you're the one who found him."
"Yes, that's true."
"Do you know of any reason, Mr..."
"Salisbury," Brian replied. "Brian Salisbury."
"Yes, Mr. Salisbury. Do you know any reason why Nick would have done this?"
"Other than what was in the note, I didn't know anything was wrong with Nick. I guess he kept it to himself," Brian said.
"Okay, that's fine," said Dr. Locke. "I'm going to give him a preliminary evaluation now, and if he seems to be okay, I'll consider releasing him into a responsible person's custody. Have the parents been notified?"
"Nick's parents are dead," Brian lied. "If possible, it would be good if he was released into my custody. I don't think he wants anyone else to find out about what happened, considering he was so secretive about this, and all."
"That's fine, Mr. Salisbury," said Dr. Locke. "I understand that you've proven to the Chief of Staff that you are the person responsible for Nick so releasing him into your custody will not be a problem."
"Thank you, Dr. Locke," Brian said. "And Dr. Locke, will you please help Nick?"
"I'll do my very best, Mr. Salisbury."
With that, Dr. Locke walked into Nick's room. He stayed in there for about an hour. Brian watched over what he could see through the window's shades, and it seemed that Nick was responding well to the therapy. At the end of the session, Dr. Locke exited the room and walked over to Brian.
"Okay, Mr. Salisbury," Dr. Locke said to Brian, "as it stands now I'm not going to release him because I believe him to still be a suicide risk. However, I think the rampant thoughts of suicide will pass in forty-eight hours maximum, and then, as long as he is keeping regular psychiatric appointments, I don't have a problem with releasing him into your custody."
"Thank you, Dr. Locke," Brian said, relieved.
"Oh, Mr. Salisbury. Nick wants to see you."
Brian and Dr. Locke nodded at each other and parted each other's company. Brian quietly entered Nick's room and walked over to Nick's bed.
"Brian, can you sit down?" Nick asked, quietly and timidly.
"Of course, Nicky," replied Brian. "Whatever you want."
Nick reached out his hand, and Brian met it with his.
"I'm sorry I lashed out at you, Bri," said Nick.
"It's okay, Nicky," replied Brian. "I understand."
Tears started to roll down Nick's face. "Thank you for loving me, Brian."
Brian drew closer to Nick and put his arms around Nick's shoulders. "Don't you ever doubt that I love you, Nicky."
As they remained in their embrace, their faces drew closer to each other, and they rested their foreheads upon each others.
"I love you, Brian," said Nick, in almost a whisper.
Will Brian and Nick kiss? Are they going to become more than friends? Find out in Chapter Three. Please send comments to thetowntramp@hotmail.com.