Hey there kiddies! How's it goin? Well, here's a nice little chapter (well, not really little) that should have you hanging on the edge of your seats. Enjoy! ON WITH THE SHOW!!
Last time . . .
"Come on, I'll show you to a room." I said getting up with them.
After bringing them to one of the bedrooms, I left Justin to console Jay. I was on my way back to the living room when Justin came out and stopped me.
"Rob!" He said reaching out to grab my shoulder.
"Yeah?" I said turning around.
"He wants you to stay with him . . . just you." He said with a saddened look.
"But . . ."
"It's ok, I'm fine with it really! I understand!" He said not very convincingly.
"Just . . ."
"Go . . . I'll be in the living room with the others."
"Just . . ." I said as he stormed off towards the living room. As he made his way back, I hung my head down, sighed and went into the room.
This time . . .
"What's up Curly?" JC asked as he entered.
"Jay wants Rob to keep him company." He said throwing himself back on the couch and grabbing a pillow.
There was a deafening silence in the room, and the tension was so thick, it was almost tangible. They all wanted to console Justin, but feared he would flip out and kill any who tried. Josh decided to bite the bullet and try. He stood up, grabbed Justin by the arm and pulled him up and into the kitchen.
"GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME JOSH!" Justin yelled as he was forced into the kitchen.
"Look, I'm sorry about that, but someone has to talk to you and it might as well be me!" Josh said with a look of sincerity in his eyes. "Look Justin, you know it's cause he's his best friend and they've been through mad shit with each other! It's nothing against you and your relationship!"
"Yeah, how would you feel if Melissa did the same? If you two had to face something big and instead of turning to the man she loves, she ran to Rob?"
"The same as you, but I'd get over it and understand. It's the same thing with us! If there was something that was so serious going on, we might want to turn to each other than our significant others! It's just the way best friend relationships work!"
"Yeah, but I'm apart of this too!"
"Yes, I know, but you don't know Jay's mom like Rob does! Right now he needs someone who knows more about his background to console him and reassure him."
"But I should be that person!"
"J, you know that Jay loves you. But there are just some times when you need your best friend over your boyfriend."
"But I thought I was both!"
"I'm sure you are! But Rob has been his best friend longer. I'm sure he's gonna talk to him for awhile and then want you to go back in there!"
"Y . . . you're right."
"Look! Here he comes now out of the room!"
"There you are . . ." I said walking into the kitchen. "Could you excuse us for a sec Josh? I gotta talk to Justin."
"Sure, no problem."
"Thanks!"
"I'll talk to you later Curly."
"So, what's up?" Justin asked as soon as JC was out of the kitchen.
"Look, about that . . . I just didn't want you to think that I was replacing you in any way!"
"I . . . I know. I don't like it, but I understand, and I'll get over it."
"I'm sorry man!"
"It's ok . . . really!"
"Well, right now, he doesn't want to talk to you, but that's only cause he's really confused about things."
"Fine . . . I . . . I understand . . ." He said, his facial expression obviously showing anger.
"Look, Justin . . ."
"It's ok! Just go!"
"Before I do, let me just say . . ."
"Rob . . ."
"This is just how he reacts to serious things! He has the tendency to shut people out. He's done it to me countless times, but I've just been persistent enough to get it out of him, so he doesn't bother shutting me out anymore. I just want to warn you, that if he does something stupid, not to worry cause he'll realize how stupid he was being as soon as he gets over this. You just have to be patient."
"I'll try." Justin said becoming no longer angry, but worried.
I went back into Jay's room and Justin remained in the kitchen, tears starting to fall from his eyes. Josh walked back in and saw that Justin was crying. He took him in his arms and hugged him until he stopped.
After about an hour of talking to Jay, I went back into the living room to tell Lance that I wasn't going to be sleeping with him that night. Jay needed me and I had to be there. He understood and gave me a kiss goodnight.
I didn't get much sleep that night. Jay and I stayed up all night talking. We finally both went to sleep around 6am. I had to get up around 9 so we could drive back down to the city to get packed for our 2 o'clock flight. I wasn't that tired, cause I've gone without sleep before. The sleepiness wouldn't be hitting me for another couple of hours or so. Around a quarter to 10, I called up my mom to find out how things went. She said that they didn't go too well. His mom was saying that she didn't have a son, and that she `didn't raise no faggot'. My mom tried her best to calm her down and convince her that there was nothing wrong with it, but Linda was just not having it. My mom said that she was gonna try again today once she had some time to sleep her anger off. She hoped that it would go better this time, and that she'd give me a call and let me know how it went later.
"Ok, before we get going, we have to set straight who's going with who." I said. "Jay and I are in NO condition to drive! So, that means Mel, you're gonna have to lead the pack back down to the city. So, who's goin with who and in what car?" I said as we all gathered around the breakfast table.
"I'll go in the rental." Mel said, "Josh, you gonna come with me?"
"Of course my dear!" JC said.
"I'll drive you guys in Jay's car." Lance said.
"I'll go with you." Justin said.
"That leaves us in the rental, again!" Chris said to Joey.
"Why are we always the ones gettin left out? It's always about Justin, JC or Lance!" Joey said with a mock look of hurt on his face.
"That's cause we're the sexy ones! Y'all are just around to fill in the harmonies!" Josh kidded.
"Come on, you'll be with us! It'll be fun!" Melissa said.
"Oh yeah . . . I almost thought there were three cars!" Joey said laughing at his own stupidity.
"Ok, we're gonna go get ready now." I said as Jay and I got up from the table and left, getting looks from the rest of the group.
"This is getting to be too much!" Melissa said once we left. "I'm gonna go talk to them!" she got up from the table and walked in the direction of Jay's room. She knocked and came in. "Ok, I understand that all this shit is goin down, BUT you can't shut us out! In case you haven't noticed, there are five people out there who care about each of you a great deal and are really worried! They deserve to know what's going on! And they've proven countless times that they are some of your best friends and that they're gonna be there for you no matter what! So you two need to stop acting like kids and grow up!"
"Mel . . ." I said.
"No! Don't try and give me any excuses! You should've SEEN Justin last night! He was SO hurt! I mean, I understand that y'all have the whole best friend thing! I understand that, and so do they! Cause we all have it! Hell, Lord knows I've done it with you Rob! And the guys have done it with each other! BUT you would think that after all we've been through, that that would've stopped by now! I'm not saying that you can't have your little best friend moments, but don't shut any of us out! Especially in this case, Justin! I don't want an explanation! I just want it to end, NOW!" She stormed out of the room and left Jay and I there staring at each other.
"She's right." I said after a few minutes of silence. "Shutting out Justin or any of the others is no use, and just stupid!"
"I know . . . and I don't like shutting them out, but I just need to! I have to think and I can't do that clearly if I'm worrying about what I'm going to tell them."
"So what are you saying?"
"I dunno . . ."
"Well, when you figure it out, let me know!" I said walking out.
"Rob!"
"What?" I said turning around.
"I didn't mean you! If anything, you're the only one who I don't have to think twice about what I'm going to say to. I mean, like you've always told me, you're the most blunt person I know and I don't have to worry about offending you or anything. I . . . I dunno! I'm just so confused now!"
"I understand that! But you can't keep Justin out of it! He loves you too much! It's not fair to him. You have to explain to him, cause I'm not gonna do it for you again!" I said walking out of the room. As I stepped into the hallway, I bumped into Lance, who was on his way to his room. "Hey!" I said as we collided.
"Hey! How's everything going with Jay?" He asked as I joined him on his way.
"Ugh . . . well, his mom is still being a bitch. I had my mom try and talk some sense into her, but it hasn't worked so far. Jay's just really confused about stuff and is starting to shut out Justin. I told him that he has to let him in. Not just him, the rest of you too!"
"Well, let him start out with Justin first! He was really hurting last night! Josh stayed with him and they were talking for most of the night."
"So they didn't get much sleep either huh?"
"Nope!"
"Well, hopefully we can get some on the plane later on, but I doubt it."
"So do I!"
"I love you!"
"Aaaww! I love you too!"
"I'm so glad both of our parents are cool with us!"
"Oh yeah! Hell yeah!"
"We're gonna have to have all of our parents meet. Well, all of your parents meet mine."
"Yeah, maybe you could fly them out to one of our tour spots this summer."
"I doubt it, my dad doesn't have vacation till the end of August and he was planning on doing some stuff around the house and up here that needs to be done."
"Well, maybe when we come back to New York in a few weeks."
"When is that again?"
"July . . . 14th I think."
"Cool! Maybe we could get the families together and have a big barbecue up here!"
"That would be fun!"
"Yeah!"
"We'll tell the guys later, now's not the best time."
"Are they mad at me?"
"A little."
"What about Jay?"
"Same."
"I'll talk to them later. I'm not in the mood now."
"Well, I'm gonna be driving, so Justin and Jay will either get some sleep in the back, or get to talk things out."
"I'm gonna get some sleep!"
"Good, you get some rest! Don't you have an interview tonight anyway?"
"Oh shit! I totally forgot!"
"Well good thing I reminded you!"
"You know . . . with all this shit that's been goin on, I even forgot where the hell we're going!"
"Houston."
"Texas! That's right!"
"Yup, then it's on to Dallas, then San Antonio."
"And then I gotta go out to LA for the video shoot."
"Oh man! You're gonna be torn apart!"
"I know! Between filming the video during the day, then having to fly out to the next tour spot!"
"Well, we're goin west anyway, so it won't be that bad."
"Where're we headed after San Antonio?"
"Phoenix for three days, then Vegas for two more days, then we're flyin back east."
"You guys got any time off?"
"Um . . . we got a couple of days when we get to DC, cause of Josh's family. Plus we gotta wait for the buses to roll into town."
"Aaah."
"What about you?"
"I dunno . . . my schedule's back at the hotel."
"Oh."
"Well, I'll check it when we get back. Right now, let's get everybody riled up so we can get out of here!"
"Before we do that!" He said grabbing me and pulling me into a kiss. We stood there for about 2 minutes then finally released. "I love you!"
"I love you!"
"Ok, NOW we can go and round up the crew!"
"Hey, you still owe me that romantic weekend!"
"Well, next time we have a weekend off together, you got it!!"
"That a promise?"
"Definitely!"
"Good!"
Melissa's lead the way back to the city, and Lance followed her. Justin and Jay didn't say anything to each other in the car, they looked at each other a few times, but that was it. They both fell asleep on each other and eventually wrapped their arms around each other. Lance and I talked about the concept for my video. It was some type of party video, to go along with the feel of the party song, but that wasn't for long, so I just went to sleep. We got back to the hotel around 11 and didn't have much packing to do since we were only in town for a short time and didn't spend much time in the hotel.
"Ok, we have to talk!" Justin said as he and Jay reached his room.
"Yes, we do." Jay agreed, catching Justin off guard. Justin was expecting him to put up a fight, so the fact that he agreed so easily both soothed him and scared him.
"Um . . . ok . . ."
"I guess I should go first."
"Go ahead."
"Well, I had no right to shut you out like that."
"No, you didn't!"
"Let me just talk."
"Ok."
"I had no right to shut you out like that, but . . . you have to understand something about me. There are just sometimes when there is so much going on, that I start to . . . where I can't help but shut people out. For some reason, the only person who I can never seem to shut out completely is Rob. I don't know why, maybe because he's my best friend, or maybe because he's been there for me countless times. I dunno, that's just the way it is! I know I caused you a lot of pain last night, and I'm truly, truly sorry! I never like to see you in pain! But sometimes, there are going to be things that I do that are going to cause it. Like this . . ."
"Jay . . ."
"No, let me finish!"
"Ok."
"Justin, you know that I love you more than any other person who I've ever been with! I can't deny that! But . . . with everything that happened yesterday, I . . ."
"Don't you even say it!"
"I need to . . ."
"JAY!"
"Just for a little while . . ."
"I can't believe you!"
"Justin, please! This isn't easy!"
"You're breaking up with me?!?"
"No . . . Yes . . . I mean . . ."
"You are, aren't you!?"
"Just for a little while! I just need to figure some things out. Like I told Rob earlier, I don't like shutting you out, but I just need to! I have to think and I can't do that clearly if I'm worrying about what I'm going to tell you or how I'm going to explain something. This isn't permanent! I DO love you! And I DO want to be with you, but right now, it's just too hard and confusing!"
"Get out!"
"Justin, please!"
"GET OUT!" He yelled. "GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!"
"Justin . . ."
"Don't make me get Lonnie!"
"Jus . . ."
"GO!"
"Fine . . . But I still love you!"
"LEAVE!"
TBC . . .
Yes . . . the MOTHER of all cliffhangers! Well, you know how I like to make you hang on to the edge of your seats and leave you wanting more, and believe me, this nothing compared to another cliffhanger I have in store for you. So, send all of your threats, comments, questions, and all that stuff to Papito6187@aol.com. Until next time kiddies!