Ring in Mine
Kim Terry
I have a good relationship with my God. Bobby is much the same. He even attended church after having his name removed from the membership polls of his church. For me it is not surprising that Bobby's relationship with his God would play a role in his healing. If you don't believe in god, just think of it as a dream based upon Bobby's perception of faith. Whether you believe of not, Bobby does.
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Kim
Ring in Mine: Chapter 36
Finally I heard the two voices I needed to hear.
"Bobby, can you hear me?" Doc asked.
"Are you ready to come home?" Brett continued.
I found it difficult to pull my makeshift locks from the door. I turned the lock and leaned on the door. I hadn't been standing much for the last few hours and became very light headed and fell into Brett's arms. He lifted me up as he had done before and carried me from the restroom. For the first time throughout this ordeal someone's touch did not throw me into panic. This was my rescuer not a threat. I laid my head against his chest.
"Bobby, you have me worried. I need to check you out." Doc was concerned. "Take him into an exam room."
"No. I can't afford the hospital." I said trying to break free. "Please just take me home." Brett found me a spot in the lobby and Doc listened to my heart and checked my pulse.
"Can we go home now? Please!"
Brett carried me to the car. I could see Geo and an identical gentleman reading Agent Moore the riot act.
"The potential for suicide for individuals put through reprogramming is very high. What good will his testimony be if you drive him to kill himself? All future contact will be through me. Geo and I will be there for any questioning."
Brett put me in the backseat of his car. Rather than sit in the front seat with her husband, Doc sat in the backseat. I rested my head on her lap. She caressed my head with her hand. `Why couldn't I have this with my mother?' was the last thought I had before sleep claimed my exhausted soul.
I remember vaguely being carried into the house and put in bed. A warm body climbed in next to me. A warm pair of arms pulled me close, my head resting on a comforting chest. I lay my arm over the body next to me and dreamed of pleasant things.
I found myself walking on a path through a light and airy wood. The shifting patterns of light shimmered through the green leaves above revealed small animals along the path. A rabbit hopped into my way as brave as you please. I bent to pet the creature and knew it wanted to be held. I carried the grey and white ball of fur, scratching behind it's alert ears as I continued the journey. The comforting babble of a nearby stream finished the the idyllic setting. If the journey was this pleasant I eagerly anticipated the destination.
The woods opened up into a meadow filled with a riot of spring flowers, their brilliant colors vying for attention. The brook hidden in the trees was now the path's enjoyable companion as it wound lazily through the warm sunshine in no hurry to reach the cottage on the far side.
A covey of rabbits burst into view and stopped in the path. I knew my traveling associate was ready to be put down. I answered `You're welcome,' to the thank you unheard but known and they were off.
I stopped and watched a hummingbird as it darted from one bright yellow daffodil to another. It stopped its breakfast to hover eye to eye with me.
"I wouldn't know if they are delicious, but they are beautiful." The hummingbird darted off to it's nest. It's children were calling.
Finally I crossed a fairy tale like bridge into the yard of the small cottage with a thatched roof. On the porch two high back rocking chairs faced away from the path toward a pool fed by the brook only to continue its travels on the other side. One was obviously occupied. A pair of legs clad in white slacks were visible causing the gentle rocking. After the peaceful feelings anxiety began building.
"Bobby, there is nothing to fear here, not even those you bring with you. I have been waiting for you. Sit down. It's time we talked."
I walked past the occupied chair and turned. I knew this person. Why would I be dreaming about him?
"You can call me Chris. Only mom and dad called me Christopher. Are you sure this is a dream?"
This was becoming strange, were dreams supposed to challenge their validity? I sat in the chair and found the rocking motion very soothing. If this wasn't a dream what was it?
"I think where is it is a more correct question. This..." He waved his hand across the beautiful landscape. "...for now is my little corner of heaven. I come here when I need to think, relax and wait."
"This is heaven. What is there to relax from?" I decided it was less disconcerting if I actually asked my questions before he answered.
"I don't sit here day in and day out. That would really be a waste of time. I take my turn watching out for Mom and Dad, there is Samuel and now you."
"Why do you watch out for me?" This was a new concept. I knew we had angels but I had a gay angel that died of cancer watching out for me. I understood Doc, Brett and Samuel but why me?
"Because you are God's answer. I was asked what I needed when I arrived and my first thought was someone to help fill the hole in my parent's lives. They were so empty except for guilt that my days here were filled with tears." Chris was explaining, but I was having troubles accepting that the best God could do was a messed up bisexual/gay kid.
"You may see yourself as messed up with orientation issues, but God sees you as one of his beloved children. He doesn't make mistakes. He can't always get involved in the lives on earth because he gave us choice. Sometimes the bad choices of one causes harm for another."
"How could he let those men do that to us? Couldn't he stop them? How could he leave us alone and tortured?" I was just on the belligerent side.
"Were you ever alone?" Chris asked. Then I remembered the pair of arms and the love I felt in the night.
"Was that you?" I asked.
"I spent time with you. I cried as you cried but I chose to be there rather than leave you alone, but in the night that wasn't me. It was he who once before took on the torments of the world. That night as you lay in his arms, he felt the pain, sparing his younger brother that he has always loved."
"Will I ever remember everything that happened?" I asked.
"Would you really want to?" Chris asked with concern.
"Please Lord, I would willingly remember it all if it would mean Jerry didn't have to!"
Just then a large rather ugly dog ran onto the porch and laid his head in Chris' lap.
"Boxer say's it's time to go. If you remember, tell mom and dad I love them. Tell Samuel I love him still and am waiting for him. He won't believe you. Tell him Chrissy says he looks good enough to eat in the blue thong. That will shake him up."
I felt motion behind me and someone got out of the bed. I felt lonely but another body pulled me close. I didn't even open my eyes. I was loved and I think God loved me too. That was enough for now.
----------- I would appreciate hearing from you. ringinmine@yahoo.com