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Riding the Waves By: Sean Roberts
-- Chapter 10 --
"Is he here?" Alice said, walking straight through the door as soon as Dylan opened it.
"Please, come in," Dylan said sarcastically.
"Is Tyler here? He isn't at home, and neither of you are answering your phones so I had to drive all the way—"
"Alice, he isn't here. My phone's dead."
"We had a fight and he left and I need to find him," she said. "Are you sure you haven't heard from him?"
"No. I left my coffee upstairs. Let's go talk upstairs. That way my parents won't see you if they get home. Also because I left my coffee there. Would you like some by the way?" Dylan said this, he hoped, loudly enough that Tyler would hear them. Alice declined the coffee and followed him up to his bedroom. Since the room was empty, Dylan suspected it worked, though it may have been better to let her find Tyler there. He motioned for her to sit at his desk, and he sat on the bed.
"What happened?" Dylan asked. She sighed as he took another sip of coffee, wondering if he was ever going to be able to finish it.
"He's been acting so weird ever since—Dylan, I don't mean this in a bad way—but since we met you. He's been distant and disappearing a lot. And then there's this thing you two have been doing, which neither of you will tell me about, and—"
"Lisa," Dylan interrupted.
"What?" she said. Alice looked like she was on the verge of tears. Dylan wished, more than anything else, that she would not start. He did not know how to handle people crying.
"That's why Lisa went out with me. You sent her to find out what was going on." She looked up at him, formulating a lie.
"Well, not exactly. She told me she thinks you're cute. She wanted to go out with you anyway. I just asked her for a little favour."
"Explains the questions."
"Look, I just—Tyler needs me. And I don't know where he is or why I can't be part of whatever's going on. Can you call him or something? Maybe he'll pick up if you try."
"It's not my place to say Alice, but if you guys had a fight, maybe he just needs a bit of space. I'm sure he's fine."
"I don't mind giving him space; I just wish he wouldn't shut me out." Dylan took another sip of coffee and then a deep breath, allowing Tyler's `no' to run circles around his brain.
"Just don't tell anyone, okay? Tyler's been tutoring me."
"I don't believe you."
"I don't blame you. But it's the truth. Coach Baker made him—I was going to get kicked off the team if my grades didn't improve. Obviously Coach didn't want me gone, so he made Tyler tutor me."
"Bullshit. Lisa said you've been teaching her half the stuff she doesn't get in school."
"Yeah, after Tyler helps me learn it."
"So why wouldn't he tell me that?"
"I asked him not to, although I doubt that's the reason. I'm sure he doesn't give a shit about what I want or don't want. He was probably just embarrassed. Given how you guys feel about me—this whole thing with all our parents and the businesses—it's weird, him helping me with anything. And our parents can't find out because they would all just be really pissed. We both just figured it would be easier if nobody knew. That's why we were, sneaking around, for lack of a better word." Dylan was happy with his own cleverness at having told Alice exactly what they had been doing.
Alice looked at him for a few moments, quizzically, assessing the situation. Then she took a deep breath and allowed her shoulders to relax as she settled into the chair.
"Thanks Dylan," she said.
"Yeah. Everyone thinks I'm a dumbass anyway," Dylan said, forcing himself to smile. "So nothing to worry about."
"No, I guess not. I'm being stupid."
"Not really. There was something going on and you picked up on it. It just isn't a big deal. And it's super nice of him to be helping me."
"For the record Dylan, I do like you, despite whatever's happening with the `rents."
"It's too bad, huh?"
"Yeah, I guess so."
"Well listen, you'd better get going. If I do hear from him, which I doubt, I promise I'll tell him to call you." Dylan walked her to the door, where she thanked him with a hug before leaving.
--
It was the hardest thing he ever had to do, making things alright between them, knowing he just lost Tyler for good. Dylan leaned against the front door until he worked up the courage to go back upstairs.
He climbed the stairs slowly. Tyler had reappeared and was leaning against Dylan's desk. The silence thickened as Dylan tried to find his voice to ask Dylan to leave. He could not say anything; felt like he would burst into tears if he opened his mouth. He made himself take some deep breaths.
"C-could you go now?" he managed to say finally. His voice was trembling, but he kept it together.
"Dylan..." Tyler said. Tyler looked down at his feet.
"You'd better call her. She's pretty worried about you."
"I will." Tyler looked up. "I'm sorry, really. You're something else, you know that Dylan?" Tyler walked over and put his hand on Dylan's shoulder. Dylan put his own hand over Tyler's and looked into the other boy's eyes. Tyler slowly pulled his hand away.
Dylan stood in place after Tyler left, shaking but otherwise not moving, waiting for the sound. There it was; the click of the closing door. He heard the car start. Why is he letting it idle so long? Dylan finally heard it rev up and leave the driveway.
Dylan slammed his bedroom door and collapsed into his bed, pulling all the covers tightly around him. He was breathing heavily, trying to keep himself from crying. He fell asleep before shedding a single tear.
--
Dylan needed to be alone, and for the rest of the break he made some excuse every time Ethan or Lisa called him. The last day flew by. Before he knew it he was in bed, trying to fall asleep so he could make it to school the next day. He had butterflies in his stomach in anticipation of seeing Tyler. He did not want to, knowing it would be painful, but at the same time he needed to prove to himself that he was over the boy.
Monday morning was unusually warm and brought on the usual start of term mess. Students were running late, unsure where they were supposed to be going. A couple of them parked in two spots in the parking lots. Everybody was tired, many of them apparently hung over.
Dylan, over the last little while, had been thinking through different scenarios that might happen when he saw Tyler again. They mainly involved Tyler confessing his love for him, and the two of them running off to the nearest empty classroom. What happened instead was Tyler ignoring Dylan. This was the realistic expectation of what was going to happen, so Dylan found it difficult to complain, even to himself, about the situation. Tyler and Alice seemed closer than ever.
The team continued to warm up to him, and as enjoyable as this should have made the practice, Dylan just wanted it to be over. Tyler spoke to him only to tell him what to do, as he was doing with the rest of the team. But there was no unfair treatment; no emotion in Tyler's voice. Dylan longed for the contempt Tyler used to show him.
He was unpacking his gym bag at home when he found an envelope. He recognized Tyler's handwriting.
I think Alice has been snooping through my phone, so I didn't want to send you a message. I'm going to hire a private tutor, so I won't bug you anymore this semester. I wanted to thank you for what you did.
Dylan ignored a phone call from Lisa. Feeling alone, he took out from his drawer a treasured piece of paper on which was written a name and a number. Jack's handwriting brought Dylan back to the small apartment in Vancouver. He called the new contact for a second time and went for a drive.
"I'm sorry I haven't seen you in a while," Dylan said.
"No sweat bro. This is good stuff. I figured I'd see you at the party on the weekend, anyway," Ethan replied.
"What party?"
"What do you mean? Tyler's parents are throwing something again. We're all invited. Didn't you know?"
"I guess my parents forgot to tell me."
"Why do we have to keep going to these if they all hate each other?"
"Some BS about appearing collegial. That's what my dad said anyway."
"Wonderful," Dylan said, knowing that seeing Tyler at school felt entirely different from actually having to go to his house.
--
Dylan and his mother were ready to go; Dylan dressed in a new suit he had to buy in a hurry after finding out about the party. They were watching television while Paul finished some last minute work. They finally left, and this time Dylan did not want to drive. They picked up Lisa and there was once again a valet to park the car. It was a warm day with a light breeze and Tyler's house suddenly looked small for the number of people both inside and outside of it.
Dylan had to be introduced to a number of people before his parents would let him go; but he was alright with this. Anything to delay him having to see Tyler. Everywhere he looked reminded him of Tyler; of the time that he was here at Tyler's place being offered water. Mainly he kept wanting to catch the other boy's eyes across the room, and fall in love with him for a second time.
He needed a drink.
Dylan had to meet Lisa's parents first, and then she took him out to the backyard as he coveted the bar. Tyler, Alice, Ethan and Jessica were all together. Nobody was really eating except for Ethan. Lisa was talking to Dylan non-stop, asking him how his first week back at school was; lamenting the end of the holidays. Ethan finally finished his food.
"Finally. You guys ready to go to up?" Dylan looked at Tyler, his eyes widened for a moment before he caught himself and looked away.
"I'd better stay here," Dylan mumbled. "I think my parents wanted to introduce me to a few more people."
"Don't be stupid," Lisa said. "You can't hang out here with the old people." She took his arm and led him. Dylan felt like he was ruining their party. Tyler did not say anything to encourage or discourage him from joining them.
Tyler's bedroom, following the theme of the rest of the house, was huge. It was also messy. His desk was more modern than Dylan's, with a large glass top and silver legs. There was music playing from the large screen iMac. They closed the door and Tyler produced a few bottles.
The walls were covered with posters from fantasy movies— Tyler had never mentioned this particular interest. Dylan tried not to look around, wanting to afford Tyler his privacy. But he was curious; he wanted to know everything. There were sketchpads lying around in various places, all of them closed. There were a number of chairs, including beanbag chairs which were surprisingly comfortable. They pulled six of them together.
They drank like teenagers; deeply and quickly. Ethan's phone rang and he left the room to answer. Alice had already settled next to Tyler, who had his arm around her. Lisa said she was feeling cold.
"Take my jacket," Dylan said.
"Nah. Let me just squeeze in there with you for a bit." Dylan looked at her, his eyes wide. He was suddenly feeling warm. He looked at Tyler, whose arm was around Alice, his hand resting at her waist.
"Yeah, of course," Dylan said, forcing a smile. It is not that he did not want her there. He felt her body sliding against his, settling into the chair beside him. She rested her head on his shoulder and Dylan put his arm around her, the same way Tyler was holding Alice.
"That's much better," she said. "Thanks." Dylan could smell her perfume. He heard a door close but felt his own bedroom door slamming shut after Tyler had left the other day.
"If a bomb went off, Augustine's would be pretty fucked," Alice said. "The four best swimmers are sitting right here."
"You're telling me," Lisa said.
"How did you guys end up getting together?" Jessica said to Dylan and Lisa.
"Yeah Dylan, how did that happen?" Tyler asked, suddenly amused. This was the second thing he said to Dylan all evening.
"It was all her," Dylan said, trying to make a joke.
"I had to take him out for dinner," Lisa said. They laughed, and drank some more. "But I think he deserved it, since he found out that I can do everything better than he can. Swimming, surfing, running—"
"Excuse me," Dylan said, "but we never really established that you're a better runner. We only tried when my ankle was still healing. We need to test that one again."
"You're on. Tomorrow morning then, no matter how much you drink tonight. Got it Lewis?"
Tyler's face fell when he heard Lisa call Dylan that. Dylan smiled. "You're on," he said.
"Jessica, which college are you planning to go to next year?" Lisa asked her.
"Oh, I'm going to Penn," Jessica said. "Like Ethan."
"What about you Dylan? I don't think I've ever asked you."
"Harvard," Dylan said. "Well, if I get in. No acceptances yet. What about you?"
"You mean you don't know?" Tyler snorted.
"Huh?" Dylan replied.
"Lisa's been wanting to go to Brown since she was, like, two," Alice said.
"Oh," Dylan said, looking at her. "Well, Brown's an okay school, I guess."
"Shut up," she said, laughing and punching his arm. "And are you two still on your way to Yale?" Lisa said to Tyler and Alice.
"Well, it's not like anybody's gotten accepted yet," Tyler said. "And plus, college is so far away; who really cares? Man this music sucks." He got up, unceremoniously making Alice fall over in the chair, and went to his computer to change the song. He found something with more of a beat and turned it up.
"We all care," Alice said in response, after Tyler had sat down again. "That's why we're all busting our asses at this school of ours."
"Yeah, right," Tyler said.
"Plus, aren't you excited? We'll be together. College will be a lot of fun."
"I suppose," Tyler said. "But don't you think it would be good to think about other options? I mean, I was thinking I might not go. I may travel a bit first, or get a job and then figure things out."
"What on earth are you talking about?" Alice asked him, sitting up straight—at least as straight as she could in a beanbag chair.
"I just don't know that college is for me."
"Tyler, are you drunk?"
"Probably." He took another long sip. He was staring down at the floor with a worried look in his eyes. Lisa sat up, uncomfortably, and Dylan removed his hand from around her.
"You know what, I'm starving," Lisa said. "What about you guys? Want to go downstairs and get some grub?"
"Yeah!" Ethan said, the weed in his head opening its mouth.
"Sure," Dylan said, not taking his eyes off Tyler.
"Nobody's going anywhere," Alice said. "Just forget it; Tyler can figure his shit out another time."
"Excuse me?" Tyler said to her. "I don't think it's me who needs to figure things out. What about you? If college is such a big deal, and it's going to be so great, why do you need me there with you?"
"I don't need you there with me. Ugh, just forget it Tyler."
"I'm sorry I brought it up," Lisa said.
"Well I'm sorry that I can't change my mind about something I might have said like eight months ago."
"Nobody said you couldn't change your mind," Alice said. "But you never told me."
"So I have to tell you every little thing that's going on? Well actually, I guess I don't. Because you'll just go and find out from someone else."
"What the hell are you talking about now?" Alice said. "Could you at least stop drinking if we're going to have this conversation?" Tyler took another sip of his drink.
"Well dick-face over here will tell you whatever you want to know. And you've got your bitch of a spy over there, trying to fuck information out of whoever you need her to," Tyler said, gesturing at Lisa. Dylan popped out of his seat.
"Don't talk to her like that!" Dylan said, allowing the anger to come through his voice. "And I really think that you should finish this conversation another time." Tyler stood up and took a step towards Dylan.
"And I really think that you should get the fuck out of my house." Dylan's face turned even redder. He remembered all the times he thoughtlessly tried to get rid of Tyler by saying the same thing, and he realized for the first time how hurtful those words were.
If Dylan could have taken back anything from the past, it would have been that moment. He would have at least changed the words he used. He had not only asked Tyler to leave his house, but he had kicked him right out of his life. Dylan saw Alice's hand reach over and touch Tyler's shoulder.
"Where the fuck do you get off?" he asked her. She backed away. "And who the hell asked you to step in?" Tyler said, turning back to Dylan. "Nobody asked you to tell her about— anything. It was between us. And you killed it." Alice was staring at Dylan. She was lost—not entirely—but mostly she was lost. Dylan wanted to shout back that Tyler had told him to tell Alice; that Tyler had made it end. Instead he turned away.
"I think we'd better go," he said. Dylan left the room with Lisa, Ethan and Jessica right behind them.