Ricks Diary

By Ben Ng

Published on May 29, 2012

Gay

Poking Around

My life has been a roller coaster ride this past month. I spent my happiest week with Mike the dumb jock (yes, I'm calling him that again), but he also sent me to rock bottom when he decided to stop all the "gay" stuff and turn back to being straight. Then, Ben did a pretty good job of picking me up when he let me face fuck him. The way that he endured it without complaining meant a lot to me. He was really treating me like a friend, trying to make me feel better. I felt I could depend on him. It was a good feeling.

And then there was, of course, the "lovemaking". It wasn't really full lovemaking, but it was as close as I can get without kissing or fucking. I made love to Ben, not just sucked him off. He even said I could do it to him every day, so I'm sure he loved it. From the way he came, he sure did. So, my life is now back to normal, thanks to Ben. I would go to his room to jerk off and suck each other after class, almost every day. I spent more time in Ben's room than my own. His roommate usually goes out until late at night. I have no idea what he does, but it suits us just fine.

Meanwhile, whenever I go back to my room, more often than not Mike is fucking some chick. He has gone to the other extreme, from not getting any girl to fucking one every day. I have no idea how he hooked up with them, but I have a feeling he was overcompensating for his gay acts earlier. He was busy trying to prove to me and himself that he's straight. We were still not talking; I tried to stay out of my room as much as possible. I even started storing some of my stuff with Ben.

On this particular day, as I went back to my room to get something, a girl was leaving the room. When I entered, Mike was standing there stark naked, sweaty and sticky with cum stains and pussy juice all over him. The room reeked of sex, as usual. I've gotten used to it already.

"I'm sorry. The room is a mess. I'll clean up." He was trying to wipe the cum off the bed and the floor.

"Why bother? You are just going to keep fucking them, right?"

He looked at me for a moment. "Are you still mad at me?" Damn, although I hate him, seeing him naked and sweaty in front of me, smelling his musk and breathing in all the sex got me aroused. I hated it.

"Yes, Mike. I think you are a coward. You care so much about what other people say about you, you let them decide who you are." He looked a bit hurt.

"Rick, we've been through this. You and I are different. You can do anything you want; I can't. Football is the only way out for me and being gay doesn't fit well with it."

"Whatever. You don't have to explain. I've stopped caring." There was a hint of guilt in his eyes.

"Look, you really helped me a lot and I appreciate..."

"I DON'T want to hear about it!" I was yelling so loudly I surprised myself. I must still be really pissed at him. I stared at him in rage, as if I was going to kill him right there. He was taken aback.

"Ok." He said softly and went to the bathroom. I sat on my bed and sighed. I looked at the room. Everything felt familiar, only it's different. I spent the happiest week in this room, making love every waking moment. And now, this jerk chose football over me. And I have to be stuck in this room, for how long? I shook my head. I grabbed what I came for and left. When I went back to Ben's room, he can see from my face I was in a bad mood again.

"Mike's fucking a girl again?"

"As usual."

"Damn, he's starting to get more girls than me. I got to do something."

"Are you competing with him?"

"Hell no! Is there any competition? I'm the best fuck in this school and he's the worst!"

"Then why is he getting more girls than you?"

"May be... they are hookers." I laughed. Mike's stupid, but I don't think he would sink that low.

"Anyway, it's been a while since we had any girl over. Do you want to arrange for a threesome?"

"Yeah, may be, but for now, can you `make love' to me again?"

"How about you make love to me? I did it last time, you need to give back."

"Aw, come on."

"You always pass out after sex, so you got to do it first."

"Fine."

I leaned back, closed my eyes and waited for him to start. My heart was pounding so hard. Even though I know he didn't really love me the way I wanted it, I could pretend it was real lovemaking. Ben slowly approached me. He was inches from my face. I could feel his body heat and his presence, but for some reason he didn't make a move. I opened my eyes and saw that he was looking straight at me. There was awkwardness on his face. He didn't know where to start.

I grabbed his hand and placed it on my cheek, gently caressing it. I suddenly remembered doing this with Mike. I shook my head to get rid of that image. I got to focus. Ben's face looked anxious and uncomfortable. I was hoping he could look at me lovingly while he caressed my face, but I guess I was hoping too much. I closed my eyes and imagined he was the perfect lover. I continued to guide his hand to caress me. Slowly, he brushed my hand away and started to caress me himself. He was getting into it. Although it's weird to him that he's touching his best friend this way, he was willing to explore. That's what I like about Ben; he's open to new experiences.

He stroked my face for a while, then went down to my neck and shoulders. He was doing a good job massaging me and I felt relaxed. He's much better than Mike. Wait, why is he creeping back into my mind again? Damn, I got to focus. He rubbed my hands, much like I did to him, then he touched my chest and stomach. Not really arousing, just a regular massage. I don't think he's really into "lovemaking" yet. When he rubbed my legs, I didn't feel anything special. Going back to my cock, he saw that it wasn't fully hard.

"I'm not doing it for you?"

"It's not really lovemaking yet, but good try."

"It still feels weird making love to a guy, especially to my best friend."

"I understand. Just try."

He reached in and cupped my balls, rubbing them gently. With his other hand, he slowly stroked me up and down. Then he leaned in and engulfed my cock head with his mouth. I missed his warm mouth on my cock; it's been a while. As he jerked me, he slowly went down on my cock, taking more in. When he was down to three-quarters, it hit the back of his throat. He tried pushing harder, deep-throating me. I gasped. Having his warm mouth surrounding my entire cock felt so good; I felt accepted. I gently caressed the hair on the back of his head and rubbed his neck to urge him on. I pushed him deeply onto my cock. He gagged and came up for air. He looked at me to see my reaction. I smiled to tell him I was enjoying it. He went back down, all the way to the hilt again, his nose pressing on my pubes. I wondered if he was inhaling my scent.

He was rushing a little bit, trying to get all of me in. It still felt more like a blowjob than lovemaking, but I didn't mind. Having this hot jock, the love of my life, suck me and give me his full attention was more than enough. As if hearing my thoughts, he came back up and started licking my cock head, slowing down a little bit. He started making a circular motion on it, much like what I did to him. After a while, it started oozing precum. He licked up and down the shaft, then swallowed my entire cock again. He kept switching from licking to sucking as I felt my orgasm rising.

He reached down and rubbed the area between my balls and my hole. It was a sensitive spot of mine and I moaned. He looked up at me and smiled, as if he finally found my pleasure button and he's not letting it go. He kept rubbing me in that area, up and down between my balls and my hole. He brushed against my hole accidentally and I gasped. Seeing my reaction, he rubbed the area around my hole some more. I squirmed and let out a sigh. My hole tightened involuntarily. He seemed to find that interesting and kept rubbing around it. Finally, he got bolder and pressed directly on my hole. I gasped. I was so aroused and excited. I so wanted him to thrust his cock in and fuck me hard. I have not been fucked for a while, not since Mike became a jerk again. He can see how excited I was and he grinned.

"You like me playing with your hole, huh?" I nodded breathlessly.

"You little whore, you are probably thinking about my cock shoving in and out of your hole right now, huh?" I was shocked. Ben never talked dirty to me like that.

"Or are you thinking about Mike's giant cock thrusting in you? His giant body pressing on you?"

I gave him an angry look. "Stop talking about that jerk!"

"You are trying to replace him with me. You are treating me like your boyfriend. That's why you started all this lovemaking crap!" I stared at him, speechless. He is probably right.

"You want me to fuck you?" He stared straight into my eyes. I didn't answer, but my eyes betrayed me.

"Oh my God! You really want it!" He didn't know what to say. He backed off one step.

"Finish what you started, Ben." He looked at me, suddenly confused. He didn't know if he should treat me like a friend or a boyfriend, or something in between. He was afraid that this will lead to something more, something he's not comfortable handling.

"You want me to... fuck you?"

"No, you were going to suck me off, right? Do it!"

"Ok." He breathed a sigh of relief. He went back to sucking me. He was kind of doing it quickly, trying to get it over with. He was definitely feeling awkward. I sighed. He looked at me and saw the disappointment on my face, and he slowed down. He slurped and used his tongue to poke my underside, which I liked. Then, his finger went back to circling my hole, which surprised me. I thought he was freaked out, but I guess that's only with fucking, not fingering. After circling my hole a few times, he started poking it directly. It sent a shiver up my spine. I so wanted something up my hole. I pushed open, trying to let him in. When he saw my reaction, he got bolder and pushed his finger in.

I was squirming, clenching tight on his finger. My hole hasn't been fucked in a while and it has closed up a bit. He started wiggling his finger and probed further. I sighed and moved my body further down to give him better access. Seeing my reaction, he pushed his finger all the way in, feeling all around my hole. When he accidentally brushed against my prostate, I jumped.

"What was that?"

"You just hit my prostate. Keep doing it."

He tried to poke the area that got me to jump. When he did, I jumped again and groaned. He was so excited, as though he just found a new toy. He kept probing and jabbing that spot, driving me nuts. Meanwhile, he kept sucking and deep-throating me. The combination of stimulation sent me off the edge. I kept pumping hard in his mouth. It felt so out of control. He held onto my ass and pressed me close to him. He was deep- throating me while I shot; my cum going straight down. He held me all the way until I finished shooting, all the while probing my prostate. When I finally came back down, I was breathing heavily. It was one of the most powerful orgasms I had. Ben looked at me and smiled. He saw how much I enjoyed it and was happy with himself.

"You totally dig that!" He laughed.

"Yeah, it was pretty cool."

"You dirty whore! You like people playing with your asshole!"

"It's fun. You should try it!"

"No way! I'm not putting anything up my ass!"

"You are missing a lot!"

"I don't think so."

"Well, anyway, thanks for that. It was pretty cool."

"Hey, what about me?"

"I'm tired. I need to rest." With that, I passed out on his bed.

Next: Chapter 23: More Probing


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