Is This Love?
As I drifted back to consciousness, Mike was still on top of me and in me. I was so confused and shocked. What did he mean when he said he loves me? Are we in a relationship? Do I love him? What about Ben? All these questions were swirling in my head while Mike's warm body was still pressing against mine, his snoring still next to my ears. I closed my eyes and focused on my sensations. This gentle giant has really opened up to me. He was so vulnerable, so real, so broken, and I brought him back. Is that why he loves me?
As I felt his chest heaving, his strong, muscular body all around me, I suddenly felt love. I love him too. It has taken me a while to recognize this, but it's true. I've said we would never have a future because he's straight and I love Ben, but now, it's different. I know Ben doesn't really love me but Mike just told me he does. And I'm so emotionally attached to Mike now. It started as a brotherly love and progressed to something else. Of course, all the lovemaking was pointing this way. I've stopped calling it fucking because it would totally dismiss the emotional part. This is lovemaking. We love each other. I was shocked to the core. Slowly, Mike started to rouse. He realized he was still on top of me so he rolled off, but still held on to me tightly. We were now side by side, spooning.
"Hey." He said gently.
"Hey Mike."
"That was great. Thank you."
"You are welcome. I felt great too." Mike slowly rubbed my chest with his left hand. He was so gentle and sensual. With his right, he slowly stroked me up and down. All the while he held me close to him. I was in heaven and I sighed.
"You like that, huh?"
"Yeah, your touch is so... sensual." I smiled. I remembered training him to be sensual.
He laughed. "I guess I finally mastered it, huh?"
"It's perfect. You are wonderful."
"Thanks to you. You've taught me well." I closed my eyes and enjoyed his touch. However, I wanted to know what he meant when he said he loves me.
"When you said you love me, you mean..."
"It means just that." He said softly.
"Like a bro, or a lover?"
"Does it matter?" I thought about it. I wasn't sure.
"I thought you were straight."
"Yeah, I thought so too. But you were so good to me. You taught me so many things. You took care of me. You washed me when I was drunk and you fed me when I was depressed. And the things we did together... they weren't just messing around." I agreed. I didn't want to interrupt him so I remained silent.
"I don't know about you, but I really feel loved. It's more than just being bros. I feel as though you love me and I want to love you back. That's all. I don't know if it's gay or not. I just want to hold on to you tight and feel you close to me." I was so touched. I felt the same way. I stopped caring whether it was gay or straight, bro or lover, and just enjoyed it.
"What about you? Do you feel the same way?"
"I do. I think I love you too." With that, he sighed. It was a breath of relief, as though he has been holding on to his breath all along, fearing that I may reject him or call him gay, and finally he can relax.
"I have never felt so secure, so loved before. When you hold me, it just feels so great."
"Yeah, I love holding you too."
"Are we boyfriends now?"
"I don't know. I just want to be with you."
"Ok." I stopped asking. I was trying too hard to make sense of everything, to categorize everything, when I realized it was pointless. I have been asking Ben to clarify his sexuality, and the answer was that he didn't care. I want to know if Mike loves me as a lover and if he's gay after all, but it's equally pointless. I learned to let go and just enjoy the present; here and now. I breathed a deep sigh of relief as well. I have found love in the most unlikely place and it has caught me by surprise, but it was a pleasant surprise.
As I closed my eyes, finally letting go of all thoughts, I started enjoying Mike's touch. He was rubbing my chest and stroking my cock lovingly. He was taking it slowly, lazily caressing me in this warm afternoon. I felt so loved, so peaceful, and I moaned to let him know how much I loved it.
"I just want you to relax and enjoy it, Rick. You have given me so much pleasure and I want to return it." He whispered softly in my ears. It was so sexy, so sensual. His cock was starting to grow in my ass.
"I want you to make love to me, Mike." I whispered back to him. He kissed my neck and pushed his cock all the way in. His cum was still in me, acting as lube. He slowly pulled back out, inch by inch. He has never been so gentle before. I could feel it filling me up as he grew harder and I moaned out my pleasure.
"I'm going to go slow this time. I want to really feel you." He started nibbling on my neck, driving me crazy. Meanwhile, he kept thrusting at a maddeningly slow pace. I wanted his cock in me and fuck me hard, but he just kept pushing and pulling all the way out, then back in again. It was slow and excruciating, but I was also amazed that Mike could control himself so well; it's so unlike him. I closed my eyes and enjoyed every thrust, every moan, every sigh, every touch of his left hand on my chest and stomach, and every slow stroke of his right hand on my cock. Everything was in slow motion. I was basked in warmth, flooded with desire, yet in no hurry to climax. I wanted to feel everything, his breath on my neck, his chest hair tickling my back, his big rough hands on my body, his hairy, muscular legs wrapping mine, and his thick, big cock pulsating in me. I felt so good and I didn't want it to end.
I had no idea how long we made love that way. It felt like eternity. By the time we finished, it was already dark. He has continued to jerk me slowly while thrusting me using long, deep strokes. Feeling his cock in me, filling me up, stimulating my prostate, while his hand lovingly stroked me finally brought me to a shattering orgasm. It wasn't one of those lustful, quick orgasms; it was slow, deliberate and gently built up, yet there was so much tension for so long that the result was explosive. I could feel the cum rising in myself, like a flood, swarming, overwhelming me. I opened my mouth but no sound came out. I was totally breathless. When I shot, it was the most intense sensation ever. I just kept shooting uncontrollably, my body convulsing violently. Mike looked over my shoulder and watched intently. He was amazed at how much cum I shot. There was so much cum, all over the bed sheet. When I could finally utter a sound, it was a dry, throaty sound. I was spent. I have just shot the biggest load of my life. It was the most amazing sex I've ever had. It's not just sex, it was love making at its finest. I felt so content, so complete. I just closed my eyes and enjoyed being in his arms.
After some time, Mike gently asked, "How are you feeling, Rick?"
"That was the most amazing thing I've ever experienced."
"Me too. I'm glad you like it."
"We got to do this more often."
He laughed. "Yeah, but we got to grab something to eat. I'm starving."
He's right. It's way past dinner time. I was starving too. As we went out to eat, we were both so relaxed, so comfortable around each other. We laughed at everything. He slapped my ass and I tweaked his nipples as we joked. We might have seemed gay but we didn't care. We were just so happy. Throughout dinner, we laughed and joked so much other guys looked at us strangely. When we were back at our room, no words were said and we just started round two. Or round three, I didn't even remember.
For the next few days, I almost entirely forgot about Ben. I was so happy with Mike. I have never expected things to turn out this way, but it did. We were both so happy with each other. There was no more mention of being gay or straight, boyfriend or bro. We just enjoyed what we had. It was perfect.