Date: Sunday, March 3, 2002 From: Leila Benson Subject: "The Rest of My Life" (Part # 12) Lesbian/Beginning; (F/f) Part # 12 " Joan and I"
This is my first attempt to write a story to achieve a long-felt ambition. I had read some erotic pieces before, and some were very good indeed. Still I wanted see if I could reach out with just words and achieve the desired effect. Which of course, is turning you on! The very first story I wrote was published some months ago. It was called "Joan and I " That story became a Chapter in this much longer story which I'm now trying to break up into chapters or parts. I would love to know if I had my desired effect. This story describes about six months in the sexual transformation of a teenager as she discovers her powerful sexuality. While it focuses on Lesbian relationships, there are some graphic (F/m) parts. What can I say, it's my life. I guess you might say it's mostly a true story. If this kind of story is problem for you go no further. leila113@lycos.com Central characters - Molly, a 16 year old. Allison, her friend and mother of Cindy, who she baby sits for, and other friends and lovers.
Leila Benson
Part #12
Lin and I both said "wow" at the same time, and then we laughed at our "Archie Comics" exclamation. Lin removed her hand slowly from under the blanket. I was sorry she had to take it out. Gordie seemed pleased with his story. Even without our questioning him, he swore it was true. I didn't care. I loved his story. Gordie, who had been leaning forward in his chair while telling his story, leaned back in a relaxed sprawl. We complimented him lavishly for his story and we both modestly told Gordie that our stories perhaps were not as exciting as his were. We all agreed that Gordie's tale had certainly awakened us and had gotten our blood moving. Gordie opened one of the windows in the room wide and turned the exhaust of the window air conditioner on. He then rolled and lit a long thin joint and blew the smoke towards the fan, where I could see it being sucked out. He passed it around. Lin puffed in a little, but I sucked in a whole lot of smoke and had to fight to not cough it up. I felt I was far behind both of them in the stoned category. The joint was quickly consumed. Gordie was sort of sprawled in the chair with his bare feet on the bed. Lin had not really moved from her position across me. So now, it was my turn. I was not really nervous about it. I had decided I would simply tell them my story. I trusted them and certainly the grass and Lin's fingers, had loosened the small little bit of shyness I had. I pulled myself up a little on my pillow placed my hand in Lin's and began.
Well I think I should begin at the beginning: I guess the years before hormones started their wonderful change, I was pretty oblivious to sexual things. I was somewhat aware of my brother's awakening to girls before my own sexual awareness. I just saw the physical change and awkwardness. I really just remember this with Andy; I was much to young to notice Steve's.
Just a word about my folk's; they were and are quiet liberal politically and sexually. In some way, they are still a bit from the late 60s and 70s. They however set limits for all of us but were always available and still are.
I knew a fair amount about sex I guess when I was about 10-11. I used to read a great deal, sometimes not always the most appropriate books for a young girl. These were always from the bookshelf in my parent's bedroom. To say the least, all of this information was completely abstract. Then of course there were the Sex Ed classes in Jr. High School. This was when I was about 12.
I of course realize now how abstract and sort of dry this all was until about the time I got my first period and my own hormones began to flow. This was just about when I was 13. My mom was great about it all. She had explained what I was still a bit confused about in a way that was so easy to take. Some of my friend's of course by now where menstruating and we would talk some, but not a lot. Boys of our age were silly little kids and really just pests to us.
My sexual feelings were sort of slow to develop. I just kind of thought that when I got my period they would just happen like in some of the books I had read. In retrospect of course, I was really quiet innocent. I did have sort of waves of desire, always the strongest the week or so before my period. I should also tell you that I was quite undeveloped physically at that age. I guess I was about 14. My mom was very reassuring that things would change and of course, I had changed a great deal in the past year but not enough for me!! My hair was quite light, lighter than now. I hardly had any pubic hair, just some blonde soft fluff. My breasts consisted of large aureoles and somewhat prominent nipples. My nipples then were very sensitive the week before my period (still are) and caused me a great deal of embarrassment. They were almost always erect and I thought every boy was looking at me!!! When my brother Andy used to tell me about always having erections when he was in his mid teens and always feeling embarrassed I understood completely!!!.
I began to try to masturbate very soon after menstruation. This would usually lead to me getting myself very excited, irritating myself and at best, I'd have a little orgasm, which was very frustrating to say the least. To say that my technique was poor was an understatement. I would rub myself on my outer lips or my clitoral hood, sometimes inside with my wet finger. I was careful not to touch my clit directly, that I found too intense and that would stop me, or quickly throw me into a sharp, completely unsatisfying little climax.
I almost always pulled my nipple gently at the same speed and sometimes I could cum a little just from doing that.
I was quite slim then (I am still) I think about 100lbs. My butt was in some ways the womanliest part of me. It had real shape and had changed a great deal in the past year.
My best friends name was Joan, she was my age and in most of my classes at school. She also lived close by.
She was dark compared to me and much more developed. Fuller in many ways. She had a full mouth and a real figure and she had breasts!!! I was quite jealous. I can't tell you that we shared sexual secrets, first of all, I had none other than my pathetic masturbation, and she never said anything about sex and I was much to shy to ask her. However, we were very close.
On day fishing around in the bookcase in my folk's bedroom, I found videotape. It had no box, and a sort of a crude label titled " Young First Time Amateurs"# 18. I knew almost at once that this was a sex tape. I don't quite know how but I knew, but I knew. No one was home and not expected for hours. I was filled with excited anticipation. I pulled the shades down and put the tape in. After a short while the tittle came on, it faded out, and we were in a bedroom with a couple who were young. I guess maybe in their late teens or 20s. Well you can guess the rest. I was beside myself with excitement. Some of the episodes were better, or at least much more exciting than other's, some were sort of silly. The girl-girl parts were a high point! By the time it was over, I was in a full blown sexually aroused state. I had never felt quite so excited except perhaps before I had one of my kind of semi orgasms while masturbating. I pulled my jeans off, took my panties off and found my panties were sopping wet. I thought I had an accident and urinated, but I could smell my little pussy and myself, it was that strong. My crotch and thighs were wet with a much thicker juice, I knew it was from my excitement watching the video's. I rewound the tape a little, got a towel and put it under my ass. Played the tape, masturbated a little and had the most extraordinary orgasm of my life. I was completely taken by surprise by the power of it. Wave after wave, it was as though I was having spasms, waves of orgasms then shudders then another orgasm. This finally slowed down and I really only stopped because it was simply getting too intense. I just needed to end it. I just lay there spent with little tiny sorts of after shocks, like little flutters in my vagina. Then quiet. I lay there a few minutes I guess. I may have dozed a second or two. The tape was still playing. I looked for a second and could see it still had some power. I quickly got up stopped and rewound the tape. Threw my wet panties in the clothes hamper. Carefully rewound and put the tape back where it had been hidden. And took a shower. I was very, very careful not to touch myself in any erogenous area; I was still so sexually awakened. I dried myself off, got dressed, made the bed, checked the hiding place and went to my room.
I drifted off to sleep. I woke up about an hour later with a plan forming in my mind. I wanted Joan to see the tape and I needed to think quite carefully about my next move.
I spent the rest of the day in a sort of happy excited state. The day was sort of busy with the usual boring chores like laundry, putting dishes away from the dishwasher and setting the table. I was of unusually good cheer, so much so that both my mom and dad noticed it when they came home. My brother as usual noticed nothing at all about me. I happily went to my room and did my homework. I could hardly wait to think fully about the afternoon and my plans, which were only vaguely forming.
The more I thought about it the more I thought that directness was the best way to proceed, I simply would ask her over on an afternoon or evening when I knew for certain that we would be alone for some hours. We would work on our homework, something that we had done together since the sixth grade. I was certain she would want to see the tape. The rest was completely hazy and I frankly kept putting it out of my mind. Today you would call that denial. I did feel certain that she would also be excited by tape, at least I thought she would. The idea that she would be upset or angry did briefly cross my mind but I really did not want to deal with that notion. I needed to build up my confidence, not cause any doubt.
A few nervous days later when I knew we could be alone I asked her if she wanted to come over. It would be a Friday evening. My brother was sleeping at his friends and my folks were going to a party, that I was certain would rarely bring them home earlier than 1am. I asked my mom if Joan could come over to do homework and maybe stay over. Joan coming over was completely commonplace but staying over was unusual. I only had a single bed in my room and I would have to setup the folding bed from the hall closet. My mom agreed if I would do the setting up and if Joan 's parent's agreed. I told her I would take care of everything.
That night I called Joan to ask her and crossed my finger's it would work out. She seemed pleased by the invitation. She said she would ask her mom and call right back which she did. She put her mom on, who asked if my mother knew and I reassured her she did. She then readily agreed and put Joan on the phone. We made final plans for her to come over after supper. I knew with my folks going to a party a dinner guest would be a little awkward. They both always fussed about the way they dressed and looked. I loved that about them. In some ways, they were like teenagers.
After school we would rent a video to watch when we had completed our homework. Joan would come over at about 8pm.
After school on Friday we went to the Video Rental Store and quickly rented "You've Got Mail", the last thing I wanted was any static about what we should rent. I had already seen the film twice so it made little difference to me. We parted at her house and I continued home. Supper was takeout so my chores were minimal. I cleaned up then went upstairs to watch my mom get ready. This was something I always loved to watch as she tried on all sorts of things before settling on her outfit. My dad was not that different he just had less choice. They both looked great! Youthful and all excited about the evening to come. If they only knew how excited I was!
Joan came over at 8, wearing, of all things, her old sweat pants and polo shirt. She made a big fuss about the way my folks looked. They loved it! I asked if we could watch the video in their bedroom and work at their desk they said, " fine just don't mess up the room". And kissed us both goodnight.
We finished the homework in a short time. I guess it was an hour or so. I must tell you I was in a state. I was extremely nervous, which I of course I tried to conceal from Joan, who kept asking me if everything was ok. I reassured her and told her some stupid story about my folks getting ready and how tense that always made me feel. I knew I was flushed, because I could see myself in the closet mirror. All I was wearing, were some old shorts and a sort of T-shirt. I was not exactly dressed warmly. I could feel my heart in my mouth, in my temple, and most disturbing of all in my vagina!
I knew the moment had come. Trying to keep my voice very mater of fact, I asked her " Joan have you ever seen one of those triple x video's, you know the ones in the adult section of the video store". It even sounded calm to me. I felt as though I was two people, the outer calm one and the inner one in turmoil. Joan answered very quietly that " no I never have, I've always wanted to watch one of the adult pay channels but I was afraid the charge would show on my folk's statement, so I never did. Sometimes you can see this sort of scrambled picture but it's too annoying to try to make it out. But I would love to see one ".
I asked her, " Joan, what if I told you I had one here right now, do you want to see it? " "Are you kidding?" she exclaimed. " Of course I do. What do you have?" I explained how I discovered it, but found myself not telling her I had already seen it. I somehow thought it would be more exciting if we were sort of even in the experience, and also I was a little embarrassed to admit I had seen it alone. I got the tape from its hiding place, and I showed her the title. " Boy! This is going to be great!" She blurted out. She was more into it than I could have ever imagined.
We were sitting on the edge of my folk's bed. The TV and VCR were in the armoire directly in front of the bed. I got up to open the armoire and turned the light off at the desk and put a low light on in the dressing alcove leading to the bathroom. I was very cool looking, but my legs were actually shaking. That's how nervous I was. I put the TV and VCR on, slipped the tape in and returned to the edge of the bed. I asked Joan to give me the remote from the shelf behind the bed. She did, and she settled in the middle of the bed sitting cross-legged. I sat at the front edge. Joan asked me if my folks or anyone could interrupt us? I assured her that we were going to be alone for many hours. She seemed to relax even more hearing that. I said, " are you set Joan?" "Let's go " she answered. I started the tape. Joan was chatting away asking all sorts of questions like, " I wonder who the people are", " are they really amateurs or models". When the first couple appeared and began to talk and then kiss and fondle each other and take off their clothes, Joan became very silent. I could feel her directly behind my back and feel her legs on my lower back. I was too shy to look at her. As the sexual action increased on the screen Joan just made quiet comments like " God, this is amazing" or "I kind of think she's pretty, don't you"? He's a nice looking guy". I just sat at the foot of the bed staring straight ahead in silence. In the first few scenes, I was so nervous that I was only somewhat aware of what was going on in the video. Of course, I knew a lot of sexual stuff was flowing by, but I think I was much to self conscious to have any real sexual feelings. I was extremely aware of Joan directly behind me. I could hear her every breath. I could hear the change in her breathing. I could feel her shift her body on the bed. Feel her legs on my lower back. I could even feel the heat from her body directly behind me.
Joan asked me if I had ever done anything like this. "Are you crazy" I answered. I blurted out " I don't even really know how to masturbate!" That sort of broke the tension and we both started to laugh. "God, Molly this is getting me very excited. I think I learned more about sex in the last few minutes than I ever really knew for real. What about you"? "To be honest with you Joan, I can hardly stand it. Don't get me wrong I mean I've gotten so excited I have to stop this for a minute. I also have to pee like crazy!"
I stopped the tape, got up and went to the toilet and peed. That was a relief, but even that felt sexual. I went to dry myself off and realized that I was very wet from vaginal leakage. My panties were also wet. I took them off, washed myself off, threw them in the hamper, and dusted myself off with some talc from my mom's makeup table. I left, and Joan took her turn.
When we settled back on the bed, the spell had been somewhat broken. Which was a bit of a let down but also a relief. We rearranged ourselves with both of us leaning back on the pillows with our legs outstretched. Joan asked me what I meant by never really knowing how to masturbate. She also was curious to know if I ever had a real orgasm. I had to admit to her, that I really never did and described to her my sort of pathetic attempts. Her questions were very gentle, very sweet. I felt I could completely trust her, but I didn't tell her about masturbating to the tapes and the cums I had given myself. I told her about how while watching the tape just now, my panties had gotten so wet that I had to take them off and put them in the hamper. She said the same thing had happened to her but she was still wearing them and hadn't known what to do. I told her to take them off. When she got up I saw that her gray sweatpants were obviously stained and pointed it out. She was a little embarrassed I think. I told her to take them all off and I would throw it all in the washer with my own wet panties. She slipped them off quickly and was standing in front of me just wearing her polo shirt. I was somewhat taken aback by the fact that Joan had a complete mound of dark public hair. I could see that it was wet and sort of matted. She looked so much more adult than I. I told her if she wanted she could clean herself off and while she did that, I would start the wash. She laughed and said if we watched the rest of the tape it will just happen some more. I smiled and agreed and took the clothes downstairs and started the washing machine.
When I returned Joan was wearing an old silk bathrobe of my mom's. " I hope you don't mind? It was hanging up behind the door. I also used some of the same talcum powder that you used. I could smell it on you and on the table." "Of course you can." I said. Doesn't it smell great? Better than we did." She laughed at my little joke. "You know Molly, I think maybe we should put something on the bedspread. I don't want to stain it. I've never flowed like this before; then again, I don't think I've ever felt like this. It's a little scary." " Don't worry, " I said, "I'll get some towels to put down. You look great in that robe. Very sexy. Very adult." I was a little taken aback by my own boldness but she seemed pleased and smiled at me. We both put down a couple of towels over the bedcovers. Her robe kept slipping open and I kept seeing her mound. It was now dry and obviously covered in talc. Her public hair was almost white. I remarked about it and she laughed and sort of dusted herself off. "Is that better?" she asked." Definitely" I agreed. We both sort of got into a sort of giggling fit. I think we were both very tense, to put it mildly. I heard myself asking her to make herself more comfortable and take off her polo shirt and I would go to my room and get in my PJs. I was also aware that I had no panties and didn't want to stain my shorts. So I pranced out changed quickly and came back in my PJs. That little break was helpful, it allowed me to calm myself down and think more clearly. I really didn't have a plan but I wanted to feel a little more in control than I did before.
Joan was sort of lying with her head up on some extra pillows she had found on a shelf in the dressing alcove. She had built a mound of pillows for me. " Is this ok?" she asked. "Great" I said. "Boy does this look comfy". The armoire was slightly off center as was the TV, so we both found ourselves lying on our left sides facing the TV. I asked her. "Ready?" "As ready as I'll ever be". She answered with a slightly nervous smile. "Let it roll". I started the tape.
The girls in the tape could have been teenagers but I would guess they were in their early twenties. Neither one was beautiful or looked like models. I guess you might say that they were sort of pretty. Very real looking, not at all like actresses. One of the girls was called Alice. She was very slender and pale. She had short sandy blonde hair cut in sort of bangs. She was wearing a white mitty blouse and a dark blue skirt. She was wearing loafers with white ankle socks. I recall all of this very clearly, because I remember thinking that they want her or she wants to look like a schoolgirl. The other girl had long, very dark curly hair with very strong features. Her body was womanly. She was very distinctive looking, more exotic, maybe Italian or Greek. She was dressed in the same way. They looked like they went to a Parochial School. I think that the realness of the girls added a lot to making the tapes as powerful as they were. The setting also helped. It was a regular looking living room with a big comfortable kind of beige sectional couch with big dark tan pillows and I remember a fireplace. There was a sort of thick carpet on the floor. There were tall plants near the window. It seemed to be in the daytime, as I could see light coming through sheer drapes. The room in fact was rather pretty. I remember the room perfectly. Of course, I've seen this part of the tape a number of times.
As the interaction of the girls on the tape proceeded, I again became extremely aware of Joan. Only this time my feelings were just strongly sexual. This time she was not at my back, but directly in front of me as I sort of lay on my left side. Joan was making small little comments almost to herself. All I heard her say was, "this is so exciting." She turned around, and asked me. "Molly are you as turned on as me? I can hardly stand it." I was surprised by her frankness, and answered boldly. "God Joan I think I need to touch myself, but I'm a little shy I guess. I can hardly stand it." "Please go ahead. I feel like that too. Maybe we can help each other, sort of like on the video. Would that be ok? She asked. "I think I'd love that." I answered quietly. I moved closer to her back and reached around her. My breasts and nipples against her warm back felt wonderful. Her breasts where exposed to my hands. I hesitated for a moment, then gently touched her nipples with the tips of my fingers. Joan gasped and sucked in air. "Is that ok?" I asked. "Oh yes. That feels so good. Do that some more. Please Molly. Yes like that. Oh that's so great." I felt bolder at her urging and took her nipples between my fingers and squeezed and rolled them. She kept whispering, "yes, yes, yes." She was kind of urging me on I think. I certainly needed no urging.
Feeling her engorged nipples in my fingers and her reaction to the various ways I touched and kneaded them was enough for me. I was watching the video at the same time. It was almost impossible to fully concentrate on the video with the real thing happening in my arms and fingers, so I reached over for the remote and turned the set off. Joan turned to me; her head was on the pillow with her long dark hair spread out. Without hesitating I bent down and kissed her. The moment my lips touched hers, she opened them and her tongue shot into my mouth. I never expected this. Joan began to almost eat my lips and tongue. She thrust her tongue into my mouth, then began to intertwine it with my own. I was taken aback and was passive to begin with, then I found myself answering her mouth with mine. I loved I! We did this for awhile, then stopped to catch our breath, then continued. I realized that I was almost straddling Joan. My knees were at her side. My head now on her chest above her breasts. I felt Joan's hand's on the cheeks of my ass pushing me down on her mound as she wiggled and thrust herself at me. I returned the thrusts. I had never, never, been this excited before. I also had absolutely no idea what to do at this moment. Joan had taken her hands off my ass and gently pushed me up. I was now sitting on top of her with my ass o her mound and my weight on my knees. Joan with half shut eyes, reached up and began to fondle my breasts very much as I had done to her. I almost yelled out it felt so wonderful. "Oh God Joan don't stop please. That's so good, so good." I was actually yelling. I was almost out of control. Joan stopped and gently moved me off her so I lay beside her. I realized that I was sopping wet. I could actually smell myself and feel the wetness between my legs and on the PJ bottoms. I was thinking about this and sort of catching my breath. Joan looked over and saw the problem. My blue bottoms were wet. She reached over and told me to lift my ass as she pulled them down and off. She dropped them on the floor. I could feel the cold air on my wetness. Joan took a towel and moved my legs apart and began to dry me. She was using the corner of the towel and in my excited state, the drying itself even felt great. I raised my knees and spread myself to allow her full access. Doing that in such an open way was very thrilling for me. It was as if I was inviting Joan inside me. And I was!