Disclaimer: This story is fiction it is not meant in any way to be truth or speculation about the sexality of any member of N'SYNC (although I can dream and wish). This is a story of a homosexual romance and the love shared between two men. If you are offended by this subject material then please go no further. If you are under the age of 18 please leave now. Otherwise I hope that you enjoy the story.
This is my first attempt at writing a story like this.I don't know if you will enjoy it or not, but I hope that you do. Input is welcome but please remember that this story is created from my own mind and I kind of know where I would like it to go. Also I am already an accomplished writer and poet and the poems you see here are not to be used or distributed without my express permission. They are copywritten by me and use of them or distribution is an offense. My normal forte' when writing is sci-fi fantasy so this is a new area for me. Good or bad your comments are welcome and will decide on if or how this story continues. I am very big on defining the characters I write about, but since this is a work of fiction and I take creative liscense on how the characters are portrayed, then we will just have to see how it progress'. I am not one for the wham-bam-thank you sam type of story. I prefer to build the story and the characters before diving into the sex scenes. I hope you won't be disappointed.
Comments may be sent to firedancer_14@hotmail.com
I only check my e-mail a few times a month so if I don't respond right away please be advised I will as time permits. Author's notes will be at the end of each installment telling of what friends or truths there are in the story. Until then I hope you enjoy the story.
Rescue Run Chapter 5 Jim's Story
As the guys left the hospital room to take care of the tasks set for them I burst out into tears. So much has happened to me, I thought. I am only 33, yet I feel like I should be closer to 100. Normally I get depressed and just learn to cope with it. I never spill so much of myself, never let anyone get close enough to see the real you has been my motto for years now. Then all of a sudden these guys walk into my life and it does a flip-flop. I start telling total strangers things about me that I have a hard time telling my closest friends. What is going on? I don't understand anything anymore. I heard the door open and quickly tried to dry my eyes. Lance stuck his head in. He looked like a lost puppy a little unsure of his surroundings.
Uhm, I hate to say this but I forgot to ask your sister's number, he said shyly. I looked up and he saw my eyes and all of a sudden got this concerned look on his face. Want to talk about it? he asked
Maybe after you make the phone call, I replied. The number is 555-1701. I doubt she is home right now so just leave a message for her to call Kevin's house this evening.
Lance dialed the number and left a message. Not only did he tell her to call Kevin's, but gave his cell number too. Okay he replied, it is time for you to talk. There is a lot more here than meets the eye with you. When you walked into the dressing room, you seemed kind of shy and reserved, but then all hell broke loose. You come on like a freight train when you get pissed. Don't get me wrong, you saved us from ourselves. The secrets were beginning to destroy us. We had lost faith in everything and everyone around us. You taught us in a short time that as long as we have each other then we are never alone.
Yeah well, I guess I don't like to see anyone go through all that I have been through. I remarked. If you really want to hear this then I sugest that you sit down. Even the condensed version is rather long. Right about then the door opened and in walked one of the hospital vampires. I looked up at him and my face went pale. Sure you can't take his blood and tell them it is mine? I asked pointing at Lance. I hate needles.
Seeing the fear in my face Lance moved over to the bed opposite the vampire. He reached out and grabbed my hand. I just held on like it was a life or death situation as the vampire drew blood. I don't think Lance had any feeling left in his hand by the time it was done. The vampire packed his stuff and headed for the door, just as he opened the door JC and Justin walked into the room. Each had a bunch of ballons in his hand and a vase full of roses. JC was juggling two vases and made his way over to Lance.
Here you go Scoop. We got the biggest one just like you asked. JC stated. Lance blushed and took them from him and set them on the table next to my bed. JC and Justin each set theirs on the other side and tied the ballons to the drawer handle. Here these are for you they each said as they handed me the cards from the roses.
Being the shy person I really am, I turned a crimson red and started to tear up again. Uh how do you guys know that roses are my favorite? I asked.
Justin giggled a little. Your friend Kevin knows a lot more about you than you think. And he isn't afraid to say it either. He says that you have stood by him through some rough times and that is one reason he is so determined not to let you push him away. He says you do that a lot when you get upset, hurt or depressed. He also says that you are actually very shy, but we find that hard to believe.
I opened up the cards form JC and Justin first. Oh my GOD! I exclaimed I am now definitly going to freak out. The guys all got this worried expresion on their faces.
Did we say something wrong? they asked. Both of them looked like they were about to start crying.
No.... No you did nothing wrong, it is just what you wrote is all. I will explain later. I the grabbed the card from Lance and started to read it so that I didn't have to explain right away. It was in the same handwriting as JC's, so I knew he had to have told JC what he wanted it to say. It wasn't quite as shocking, but touching none the less.
OK guys, have a seat. I said. Lance was just trying to get me to spill my guts. So I guees you guys might as well hear it too so that I don't have to repeat it too many times. I took a deep breathe and began my tale.
Jim's Story:
The same year I was born, my father was in a serious car accident. My mother was 42 and my dad was 46. My dad was on his way to work at the Nevada Test Site and on a deserted stretch of highway. It was early in the morning and there were five people in the car. The passengers job was to keep the driver awake. My dad was in the very back seat of the station wagon. You know the old kind that had the flip up bench seat in back? I asked. The guys just nodded. Well they were driving and they thought the were just gaining on a car in front of them. Too late they found out that it was backing up down the road. When my dad woke up he was lying on the heads of the passenger and driver on the hood of the car. They were both dead. Flying through the car my dad had hit his head somewhere and it took years for the resulting damage to be figured out.
Growing up was not an easy task for me. My parents always seemed to fight. I seemed to be at the center of most of the conflicts. I was the child that could never do anything right and if it was, then it wasn't right enough. My mom was always on the defense trying to protect me from my father. Biologically I had the same father as my siblings. Mentally and emotionally though I had a different father. I was emotionally and mentally abused through it all. When I was 14 they found that my father had a tumor growing in the mastoid bone just behind his right ear. It had put pressure on the personality centers of his brain and that is what caused all the changes in him. I was old enough to understand, but it still didn't help all the years of pain I had gone through. I was 20 before my dad and I started to mend fences. At fourteen I started to have these dreams about how I would meet the man that I was to be with. I was going through some serious times trying to figure out my sexuality. it didn't help when one of my cousin's came out. My dads response was that he would rather see one of his kids dead than gay. It hurt to hear that and almost destroyed me.
I started to build up walls. I couldn't let people see who I really was. I hid in a fantasy world, creating realities and people that didn't care who I loved. The only time I felt free was on stage. I was in every production I could get into my junior and senior years in school. I moved here into Vegas 2 weeks after graduation. My sister and I being the two youngest have always pretty much stuck together. The only time I stayed at home was the three months I was recuperating from knee surgery. Then I was back to town. My dad and I really finally started to become friends when my mom got sick. She was a diabetic and her leg had to amputated. Then she went into kidney failure and had to go on dialysis. My mother had a living will about life support. We all discussed it and felt it was better as she was going down hill fast. My mom died two weeks after it stopped. She died on November 21, 1991. My dad had heart problems and had had bypass surgery. On December 7, 1992 dad had a massive heart attack and died on his way to get my Christmas present and his new hearing aids. I was the last kid he had to get a present for that year.
I felt like a part of me had died now that both of my parents were gone. My mom and I were close and I had really just started to be able to call my dad my friend as well as my father. For a few years I just kind of hung out going from job to job and place to place. Kevin finally got me to move to Arizona where he was. I was there for six months and then back to Vegas as sister had become seriously ill. I stayed here for a year and then went back to Arizona. There I met Mike. I was 28 and he was 18. I met him in October and he turned 19 in January. We got involved and at first it was really nice. Then he started to let his family come between us. They couldn't accept his being gay and he started to question everything all over again. We would break up and get back together on a regular basis. He would date girls and then come back to me. I loved him with all my heart and soul. He was my world. He had one child by the time it was finally over for good. He married the cousin of his babies mother. And that is all I know about him anymore. People try and protect me from finding out too much. It was a three year emotional roller coaster and that ended three years ago. Mike was the only relationship I have been in and the only guy I have been with. That is my tale. Lonelinees is all I ever seem to know anymore. Friends are great but they don't fill the void in my heart. I feel abandoned by love and so to protect myself I close up and push people away.
The main reason I am not star atruck is I used to hang out with stars. I had quite a few friends in show business and so it never bothered me. They are just people, but when my parents died I cut all ties and pushed everyone away. I have only a handful of friends that stuck with me through everything and wouldn't let me send them away. I was crying through most of the story and had to wipe my eyes at this point. I looked over at the guys and they were all crying. Lance stood up and leaned over me giving me a hug. JC and Justin, not to outdone piled on top of him in a big group hug. Hey what are you guys trying to do, crush me?? JC and Justin stood up and laughed a little, but Lance just laid there not letting go.
Uh JC? What time is the press conference? I asked.
In about twenty minutes from now. he said
Okay, but could you please peel softy here off of me before he cracks some ribs? Justin, can you ask the nurse for another pain killer for me?
JC came over and touched Lance's shoulder as Justin went out of the room. Lance just grabbed on tighter at JC's touch. Lance let out a single phrase that sent me into a crying mess all over again.
Let me in, open your heart and I will never let you fall. He whispered
I just sat there and sobbed. Lance sat up with a look of fear on his face. JC looked like he was ready to run for a doctor. He didn't say it, but the look on his face spoke volumes. It was like "please don't let him have a nervous breakdown now". We need him. Lance needs him.
Justin came in and rushed to the bed. What's wrong? he cried. What happened?
Sit back down guys. I have one more thing to tell you about. I said trying to pull myself together.
Ever since my parents died I have had a dream. It becomes more intense when I am depressed or emotionally upset. What Lance here just said and what you two said in your cards is like straight out of it. I sat an explained the dream to them. When I got to the part where the second pair from my right spoke to me I handed the the card from Justin.
It read;
Jim, You walked into our lives and chaged our world. You helped us find our love for each other. You helped it become real instead of a fantasy. You will always mean the world to us. Love Justin
I handed out JC's card then.
It read;
Jim, one of the most unbelievable people I have ever met. You stuck by us when you didn't have to. You made us face what we were afraid to admit. You helped us overcome our fears of rejection. You helped us find happiness and Justin and I will see to it the you are happy too. You are the best friend in the world to find out of what started as a bad situation. All my love, JC
Then I turned to Lance. He had a look on his face that was unreadable at first. Then a whisper came out.
Help me overcome my fears. Be my friend. Teach me to cope with my emotions and I will stand by your side forever. Lance and I finished it at the same time. We all just sat there for a minute and then Lance spoke up.
I have had that dream, but from a different perspective, he said. We all just sat there in silence again for a few minutes. Then I finally spoke up.
I guess GOD works one of his mysteries again. I whispered.
We sat in silence for awhile. Finally I looked over at Justin. Time to go? Pain pill?? How about the wheelchair someone?? I asked
Justin handed me the pills and some water. JC grabbed the chair and Lance started to help me up. I slowly moved into the chair and Lance pushed JC out of the way so he could push. I looked up at him and smiled. Just don't push me down an empty elevator shaft ok? I hear your driving skills are as bad as your dancing. Compared to me though, you could be a professional dancer. With that the guys all started to laugh.
Good! I thought. That lightend the mood a bit.
We went downstairs to the press area.
Before a reporter said a word I made a brief but complete statement.
Ladies and gentlemen,
Before this gets too far out of hand I just want to say that there was no fight between myself and the members of N'SYNC. I have been moody lately and the guys were concerned about me. I lost my temper for no reason. I felt that they were more concerned about me than about Gwen. In my confusion I failed to notice that they were paying attention to her just as much. I left and when they saw to it that they had spent some more time with her and that she was okay, they then came looking for me. It was in their search to make sure that I was okay that they were mobbed. Seeing their predicament I rushed in to help them, just as they had come to help me. I would do it again if need be. I don't care much for the pain, but I try never to let a freind down if I can help it. Thank you all for coming, but I am very tired and have surgery at five in the morning. If you have any further questions please see the guys managment company and they will see that I get them. As for the fans that mobbed them, I know that they were caught up in the excitement and I just hope that they all send their apologies to the guys here. Thank you and good night.
With that said Lance pushed me back up to my room and helped me crawl back into the bed. Where are Josh and Just? I asked.
They stayed to answer a few questions and to................... I never heard the rest. The pills took effect and I was out cold. Lance looked down and just smiled. Talk about us turning your world upside down? He thought. You turned ours inside out and made it better. He pulled the blankets up over me and grabbed some for himself. Curling up in the chair next to the bed. I am not sure about a lot of things, but I will never let you go. I will never let you fall he thought as sleep overtook him.
At four that morning a couple of nurses came into the room with a gurney and woke me up. They helped me crawl on and get settled. I saw Lance asleep in the chair, and just kind of smiled.
Will he be okay here for now? I asked.
Yes, his friends are here. They are waiting for you in the hall. They are going to move your things to your new room while you are in surgery.
Good, they can get him out of this place. He definitly needs to go shower. I thought.
The nurses wheeled me out into the hall and stopped next to everyone. They were all just kind of milling around.
Where is Lance? Chris asked
Still asleep in the room. Can you guys make sure he gets out of here. He needs some decent sleep and definitly needs a shower. I remarked.
This caused everyone to start to crack up.
Listen, you guys think I am a bitch when I am pissed or in pain. Well, it is going to be about ten times worse after sugery and with a damn needle stuck in my hand from the iv. I don't want to see anyone near here when I wake up. Got it?? When I had my emergency appdectomy even the nurses were afraid to walk in my room. So everyone is to stay away for at least 48 hours.
The nurses started rolling my towards the elevator when I heard a shout. WAIT!!!
Lance came running up. You are not going anywhere without me seeing you off he stated flatly. I will be here when you get out.
No..... No you won't, I said as JC approached. JC will explain it to you. Besides you smell funny. Go get a shower. You have been here for two days and I know you haven't seen a shower in that time. Go on, scoot. Shower and get some good sleep. JC will tell you when you can come back. Now let's go get this over with while I am to still sleepy to throw somone through the wall when the stick me with that needle.. I heard a chuckle as the doors closed and JC saying,"you know I think he would throw them through it too".
The surgery took six and a half hours. In the recovery room I clocked one of the nurses when I was coming out of it. I don't like needles and I don't like sedation either. I feel totally out of control. The following morning I woke up a bear and a half. One of two things happens when I have surgery. I am either a complete bitch or a big baby. I don't like people to see me either way. About five that evening there was a knock at the door.
I saw a hand reach in with a little white flag waving. Is it safe to come in?? I heard.
If you value your body parts don't get to close. I growled.
Oh good then it is safe. Come on gang we are least able to get in the door. With that Chris led the guys all into the room. You know you are wild when coming off the sedation. Lance tried to hold you down and you about took his head off.
OK. I growled, Whose head do I get to rip off for letting him in here when I told you all not to show up?? I glared at JC and he held up his hands and shook his head. Not me, I'm innocent. he said.
First off I don't think you have an innocent bone in your body. Especially the bone that was showing when you kissed Justin the other day. Both JC and Justin turned crimson red and Joey and Chris fell on the floor in Laughter.
What's done is done. Where is Jamey anyway??
The guys just stood there with their mouths open. JC was the first to speak. Jamey??? I wouldn't let him here you call him that. He will flip out.
Who will flip out over what?? Lance asked as he walked in followed by a whole group of people carrying flowers, cards and gifts.
I just told the guys my new nick name for you and they said you would flip out. Now what is all that stuff coming in here?
That is from all the fans that caused all of this. Hey, wait a minute. No changing the subject. What was the nick name.
Damn.. couldn't get that past you eh???
No and I am going to have to break you of that language of yours.
Oh we will see who breaks who of what Jamey..You know if you bleach out the hair again I might be able to pull that change and dodge routine off. I said
I may be blonde and I may be gullible, but I am not stupid. he remarked.
Really?? And what would you call running out out into that crowd knowing full well that the situation was volitile and making it harder on me?
Lance turned red and held up his hands in defeat. Fine, sometimes I am stupid. Lance turned to the other guys. He can call me Jamey, but if any of you guys think you can try it I still have a few nasty little tricks up my sleeve to pull.
Oh really??? Have you tried turning any of them into a smurf yet??? I asked with an evil grin on my face. That one is good. They will be blue for about three weeks.
Hey!!!!!!!!! None of that!!! they all shouted and grabbed Lance and dragged him across the room.
You sit there. Your jokes are bad enough. What have we gotten into? they all groaned.
Don't you dare tell him a thing about that, or any others JC glared at me.
Just wait until they all leave to go on their little trips, I remarked and winked at Lance. _____________________________________________________________________________
This chapter is somwhat shorter, but it had a lot of info in it. I had a hard time getting through this. This was definitly 100% my story and it hurt to write. To bring all the memories to the surface and have to deal with them is a very hard thing to do. But for the sake of the story and my own piece of mind it was a good thing. Things should pick up pace just a little now. Not to much though as I am a major romantic.
Enjoy
JIM
Coming soon Chapter 6: Reality Check