Reflections on Things Past

By Mike H

Published on Feb 28, 2003

Gay

The following story is true. Some names have been changed for privacy. I hope you enjoy this chapter and the ones that follow.

THE MAN OF MY LIFE

I became involved with a Speaker's Bureau of gay men and lesbians who were willing to speak publicly to groups about being gay or lesbian. We would get together for planning sessions at a potluck every few months. I received a cryptic postcard invitation at my office and assuming it was for a Speaker's Bureau potluck I fixed a casserole and appeared at the designated place at the appointed hour. When I walked in I was surprised to find a crowd of around 50 men and women. It turned out that it was a social for gay and lesbian lawyers. I put my casserole down in the kitchen and joined the party on the patio overlooking the river.

When I walked onto the patio the sight of one man hit me between the eyes. He had a close trimmed beard, blue eyes, dark brown hair, was around 5'7", trim and very handsome. I couldn't keep my eyes off of him. I was 39 by then and I guessed he was in his mid-twenties. I am not a chicken hawk and the age difference bothered me, but I still could not keep my eyes off of him.

Eventually I introduced myself. We talked a bit and I was struck by his last, very Irish name. I asked him if he had a brother who went to Stanford. It turned out his older brother (14 years older) was my classmate and I knew him well.

I did not get Dave's telephone number and I kicked myself afterwards.

How was I going to get in contact with him? I could not find his name in the bar (lawyer's) directory. Then I remembered I still had an invitation to a reception for a gay author in my briefcase that had been hosted by Dave. I dug it out and gave him a call for lunch.

When Dave arrived at my office we chatted for a few minutes and I felt, "This is not going to work. He is too young and we are a world apart."

It turned out that Dave was barely out of law school, age 25, and when I talked to him I felt I was interviewing a junior associate for a job.

We were both nervous and after lunch I thought no more about dating him.

A week later I began to have a lot of second thoughts. Dave was too cute and hot to pass up. Yes there was a big age difference but maybe we could overcome it. I gave him a call and asked him out to a movie at one of our parks.

We were relaxed with each other this time and I began to think maybe something was possible with this man. He was smart, fun to talk to and very sexy. After the move I asked Dave if he would like to come to my place for a glass of wine. "Sure, I would like that." he responded.

We got to my place and had a glass of wine, sitting on the davenport talking about nothing much. We finished our wine and I still did not have the courage to make a move so asked Dave if he would like another glass. "Sure," he said.

About half way through the second glass of wine I reached over and gave Dave a little kiss. He responded with more than a little kiss. He tasted good.

"Would you like to come to bed with me?" I asked.

His answer was another kiss and a simple "Yes"

We moved to the bedroom and started to undress each other, for me one of the best parts in discovering a man. As I slipped Dave's pants down I was amazed by the size of the cock tenting his jockey shorts, which by then were drenched with pre-cum. I slipped his jockeys off his hips and this beautiful cock popped up with a very large helmet head and a large drop of precum at his piss slit. I gently stroked his cock and squeezed his balls and the drop of precum quickly became a string of precum 6 inches long. I was amazed by the size of his cock and balls, which appeared even larger on his 142-pound frame. In all my experience with other men I had never seen this much pre-cum. I have zero pre-cum so I was blown away. I gently stroked Dave's cock and steered him to the bed by it.

Dave had the kind of body I like...tight and hard. We kissed like two starving men and shortly he rolled onto his stomach (my favorite position to fuck a man...you have a lot of contact with his hard muscles and can put your arms around him as you press your groin into his butt cheeks). I stroked his beautiful butt and gently spread his ass cheeks. Before me was the most beautiful asshole I had ever seen. Small, pink and perfectly formed. I could not resist putting the point of my tongue on his bud and gently licked and probed his hole. Dave was in heat. I grabbed the lube, spread his cheeks and let some dribble square on his asshole, then put some on my cock. Dave moaned, "Fuck me" as I slid my cock slowly up his butt. When I hit bottom and felt his hard butt against my groin, I knew I was in heaven.

I had fucked more than a few men since my first experience with Greg, but Dave was in another league. I had never felt such lust. We were moaning and growling and yelling. Dave pulled up on his knees and after a couple of strokes on his cock I knew he was going to cum. As I shot my load up his ass he came all over the sheets.

The next day I called my best friend, Jim, and told him, "You can't believe what a hot ass this guy has that I dated last night and pre-cum that flows like a river." It was the best sex I had ever had, and the more I saw of Dave the better it got.

The time was August, 1981.

By our second date I knew that I was in love. Dave was the first one to use the "L" word one morning after sex. When he did my response was a hug and a noncommittal grunt. I realized that once I said, "I love you," it would be for life. Given that type of commitment I wanted to take at least a couple of months before making it, even though I knew it was true. Why, because I was having the best sex I had ever experienced with a man who was as smart and probably smarter than I am. I realized soon in our relationship that Dave was the Alpha Male, something that was totally new for me. Throughout my life people had depended on me for support. Now someone was dominating me on a level I did not quite understand. I was top in bed, but bottom out of bed.

After Dave and I had been dating for around three months, my wife decided that she wanted to move out of the family home to concentrate on her treatment for cancer (she had been diagnosed with ovarian cancer nine months earlier). She did not want to have to deal with our teenage daughters, so I moved back in to the family home. At first I would get the kids to bed and then head to Dave's, sleep with him and then drive back across town beofre the girls were up in the morning. That became very tiresome and after a few weeks I used some excuse for Dave to stay the night in the guest bedroom on the third floor ( the same bedroom where Curtis had given me the fuck of my life a few years before). The kids were on the second floor, giving us some privacy.

My girls were cool with my gayness and they loved Dave. He soon became their primary mentor since he was much closer to them in age and he understood better than I what they were going through growing up.

My wife's illness progressed poorly and eventually she move back with us for her final months. She designated Dave as her primary care giver for some complex medical procedures that required special training. We shared a relationship no one can understand.

When my youngest daughter went off to college in 1986, we sold the family home in the city. I had always dreamed of living in the country and we had Dave's former boyfriend design a house for us after we found some acreage in the wine country 50 miles from town. It was a great adventure taking an old walnut orchard, overgrown with blackberries, and converting it into a landscaped showplace with a couple of acres of pinot gris grapes. And I had the John Deere tractor I had dreamed about as a little boy.

Dave still had his place in the city, so we did not have to commute every day, but for the next ten years much or our play was hard work clearing, landscaping and tending the vineyard. I also became involved as a member of the School Board at the nearby town and on the county Planning Commission. It was a very conservative community and we were out, but that did not seem to bother folks. A few thought Dave was my son, but only a few.

As the late 80s progressed, more and more of our friends became sick and died of AIDS. We were grateful that we had become monogamous before we were caught by the plague. And I was grateful that I did not have to use a condom. The only thing I had to give up was cuming up Dave's ass after his doctor told him it was not a good idea because it stressed the immune system. At the time I thought it was a great sacrifice because I so loved the sensation of thrusting against Dave's butt as a shot up his ass. I soon forgot what I was missing and learned to pull out just as I started to squirt and would shoot all over his back.

We did not seriously consider sharing sex with other men until 1993, a year of big change for us. It all started the week of my oldest daughter's wedding in New York city. We had been getting professional massages for years and decided to get a massage during the week we were visiting NYC. I had a massage at the athletic club near the hotel and it was a bore...by a woman who did not do deep tissue work. So we checked out the ads in the Village Voice and found a couple that were interesting (this was before the scores of ads you see today). One ad stated: "Massage for Men Only, Chelsea Loft, $.....per hour, phone...." We agreed to give it a try and made back to back appointments, me first.

When I arrived I was greeted by a big bear of a man who introduced himself as Bill. His loft was full of antiques imported from China. In addition to doing massage he imported antiques and was a TV producer of local specials. Bill led me to his bedroom, which was very dimly lit with a king sized futon on the floor covered by black sheets. He told me to undress and lay face down on the futon and he would be back in a minute. I followed instructions and started to drift off as I relaxed. Bill returned and started my massage. He really knew what he was doing. A combination of soft touch and deep tissue work. This was more like it, I thought.

Then I felt his hard cock poke my right butt cheek. HE WAS NAKED! I had been clueless. "You are a nice package" was all he said. I responded by cupping his balls with my right hand and stroking them. Then I backed off and he kept going with the massage. Of course I got hard and my cock was sticking straight down. Bill worked over my butt cheeks and thighs and in the process took hold of my cock with a well lotioned hand and started to stroke it. Damn if felt good. Just when I thought I was going to cum he told me to roll over.

I did and Bill proceeded to work my front from head to toe, taking repeated trips back to my cock to give it the attention it deserved. I had never had this kind of attention paid to my body and cock.

Bill told me to turn back over on my stomach and I obeyed. After a few minutes of massaging my butt cheeks he spread my cheeks and I felt his tongue lick and probe into my hole. I had rimmed a lot of men and loved rimming, but had never received that pleasure. Damn it felt good.

"Oh Fuck, "I groaned, and started pushing my ass against Bills face. I found myself on my knees pushing against his tongue, with my chest still on the futon. In this position Bill had access to my cock and he milked it straight down, just like milking a cows teat. I shot all over his black sheet and collapsed with a groan. I sensed Bill above me and a moment later felt his cum splash over my back as he let out a grunt of pleasure.

Afterwards, I gave Bill a hug and told him I had never experienced anything quite like it, "I did not expect to get off and I can count on one hand the number of times in my life that I have been jacked off by another man. Up until now I felt getting jacked off would be wasting a perfectly good orgasm that would be better used fucking ass."

Bill laughed, patted me on the ass and sent me on my way. His next appointment was due, Dave.

I met Dave at Bill's door on the street. All I said was, "You are in for a surprise." He looked at me a little funny.

That evening was the wedding rehearsal followed by the rehearsal dinner. I sat through dinner with a constant hard on. I felt like a teenage boy who has discovered a new angel on sex. It wasn't going to stop here.

Dave agreed. When we got back home we decided to attend a Body Electric weekend workshop...something Dave had been wanting to do for several years. And since we wanted to go in to the BE workshop with some basic massage skills, we took a short course at a massage school. The BE workshop was a very powerful, spiritual, liberating, life changing experience. We discovered there was a way to share erotic energy with other men safely and without threatening our relationship.

Erotic massage is a dimension of sexuality that is unique because there is often no reciprocity. Of course it sometimes slops over into hot sex, but especially with professionals it can be an opportunity for pure pleasure with no reciprocity. It is a chance to get pleasured and explore your own potential for pleasure without thinking about a partner. And giving erotic massage is a pleasure because some of that powerful sexual energy flows back to the giver.

The BE workshop was in November and for New Year's weekend we decided to go to San Francisco. It was a great way to avoid parties we did not want to go to and it gave us a chance to enjoy each other away from the stress of work. We decided to schedule a massage and both picked the same ad in the Bay Area Reporter... a good looking swimmer-type advertising massage with the possibility of 2 on 1 at $100 for an hour. I went the first day and Dave was scheduled for the next day. It was quite a distance from the Castro and I was greeted at the door by a man better looking than the advertisement. He introduced himself, Christopher John Watt and his lover David was his assistant. They had a massage table set up in their living room. I stripped and got on the table face down. They stripped and they were both beautiful...slim hard bodies, not too much time at the gym. Christopher was a licensed massage therapist. David was learning the ropes and he started on my feet. Chris started waist up.

After half an hour of bliss I heard Christopher put on a vinyl glove.

Then I felt the lube at my ass and what followed was the greatest pleasure I had ever experienced on and in my ass. After working me over for 10 minutes Christopher commented to David, "I wish I had the right lube, he can really open up and with the right lube he could take my fist." David added, "He has a beautiful ass. Do you want to get off with him, Chris?"

Chris responded, "We have another appointment in an hour and a half and we better save it."

"Yah, but I would really like to get off with him," David answered.

At that point Christopher took a towel and wiped the excess lube out of my crack and asked me to turn over. On my back they placed a mask filled with lavender over my eyes and started to massage my front. After about 10 minutes I felt Christopher and David lift my legs and Christopher's finger and then fingers started to gently massage my hole. David started to gently stroke my cock and my head started to swim in ecstasy. Then the pleasure took hold of me and I started to feel things in my ass and cock I had never felt before. I threw off the mask and looked at them pleading, "Dear God what are you doing to me." I lost it. The cum shot out of my cock in torrents.

This was something I wanted again. And it was something I wanted to learn how to give.

When I was finished Christopher adjourned to take a shower. David gave me a smile and asked, "Will you do me?"

"For sure," I answered and David got on the table. I did my best to return the favor, but I knew I had a lot to learn.

When we got home Dave and I arranged to have some private instruction in anal/prostate massage and took a Body Electric weekend workshop devoted to the art. It has been my pleasure to pass on those skills to many men over the past few years.

We gradually opened up to other men in three ways, four ways and up to six ways. Usually sharing is in the context of erotic body work on a massage table, transitioning to bed and taking all afternoon at it. But sex has always been best with each other and fucking has been reserved for each other with a few fantastic exceptions that I will share in chapters to come. Sharing with others has helped us grow.

Mike

Next: Chapter 4


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