Wednesday 19 March 2008
Today in history: Big day for shitstorms, it seems, with the 26th anniversary of the start of the Falklands War and the 5th anniversary of Bush Jr's declaration of war on Saddam all happening today. Also on this day, in 2002, crazy old Comrade Bob managed to get our northern neighbour Zim booted out of the Commonwealth. It's people like him who make the case for the non-existence, and/or against the omnipotence, of G_d. I mean, one loony, syphilitic octogenarian like Bob shouldn't really be able to wreak as much havoc as he seems to without someone up top getting a touch pissy about it all and seriously fucking his shit up for him to prove who's boss. So one wonders then why He hasn't.
Did some shopping last night and might be sporting a single pair of red boxerbriefs myself as I type this, imitation being the sincerest form of flattery (stalkery?) and all. However, I couldn't quite bring myself to buy the cheap nasty ones I'm pretty sure MM had on, from that low-cost giant Mr Value who everyone except me seems to love shopping at, so I got mine from Woolworths. A bit of internet research seems to indicate that US Woolworths is very different to ours in that ours is quite upmarket and theirs isn't. I don't usually get my stuff from there, since it's aimed way too old/dull/conservative usually, but their socks and jocks are good quality stuff if you aren't looking for brands since they don't carry branded gear, and my preferred brand for jeans n jocks, Soviet, didn't have anything in red when I looked last night.
These ones are not the eco-friendly ones from the organic cotton range at Woolies, simply because I refuse to wear anything with the word Organic printed on the waistband in a shitty, faux-handwriting font. J3sus, organic underwear? Is this really what we're coming to? My undies are nasty, maltreated, battery cotton, just like the stuff from the cheap and nasty megastore mentioned above. But much better quality because they're from Woolies. So I'm an elitist – sue me.
I do wonder how the low-cost giant does as well as it does, you know. Down at the gym and all over campus you see these guys wearing hideously overpriced Puma trackies or Guess jeans and Nike shoes and Oakley sunnies with el cheapo Mr V undies on. Surely you make sure that the stuff which you dress The Twins in is good quality? I don't get that at all. Everyone here in .za is so brand-conscious and yet everyone has tons of cheap, nasty shit in their cupboards from these guys. One of the guys in PhysEd last year had some of their shoes to train in which lasted like 3 months at a time, max. He bragged that they cost less than ¼ of my New Balances and he could easily afford to replace them when they fucked out. I've had those Newbs for 2 years now and they are easily going to manage another two, and they aren't fucking up my spine and hips when I run in them. Who's laughing now? Twat.
This is actually bugging me, now that I think about it. For fuck's sake, MM, get some decent G_ddamn underpants! I wonder how weird it would be if I bought a decent pair and slipped them into his bag? Actually, don't answer that. Too weird, right, especially if I got spotted – try to explain that away. Either way, I wouldn't wear a pair of boxers or anything which I found lying around which I knew weren't mine, so why would he? And he'd probably think they were just picked up off the floor somewhere, come to think of it. I mean, it's amazing how many people seem to forget theirs and leave them lying around at the gym, all sweaty and stretched and holey and horrible with skidmarks in. Probably because they're all too fucking lame, trying to hide under their towels to change after showering and all, to remember to pick up their kit. Wankers.
-C