Redemption

REDEMPTION By: Julien

This story is 100% fictional and is by no means depictive of the life of any person, place or thing. It contains sexual activities between males and should only be read if it is legal to do so in your area. Read at your own risk and enjoy. Comments are welcomed and would be very much appreciated. Thanks to all of you that took the time out to email me. it has been appreciated! i look forward to hearing your comments on this final installment. J.

CHAPTER 4

This had been the tenth or eleventh time that he had seen the kid. And like all the times before, the kid was looking at him intently. He was dressed decently in a black turtle neck,

black leather jacket, tight blue jeans that actually looked pressed, and a red baseball cap.

When he saw Mike coming, he pushed himself off of the wall that he had been sitting on and walked towards him.

Mike admitted to himself that he was intrigued and refrained from running the other way. And as he approached the entrance to a deli, the kid fell in step beside him and opened the door for him.

"Thanks kid." he stated, stepping in and watching out of the corner of his eye as the kid followed behind him.

"You're welcome stud. Wanna give me your name?"

"No."

"Come on man, we're basically mind fucking each other every time we meet. The least you can do is give me a name. I want to know what name to call out in the throes of orgasmic pleasure." he smiled at Mike and arched an eyebrow.

"Mike, ok, it's Mike. now will you leave me alone?"

The kid grinned and shook his head.

"I've seen your boyfriend around and I have to say you can definitely do better. You don't strike me as a snob."

Mike stopped in his tracks and turned around, "there is no one better than Ben. He's the greatest guy there ever was and he is not a snob." And saying that, he wasn't sure who he was trying to convince more, himself or the kid.

"Whatever you say Mike. It's just that I want to get to know you. Is that a crime?" The kid smiled seductively and stared intently at Mike.

"I'm taken kid. I have a lifetime partner. We're monogamous. We're in love, and I don't fuck around."

The kid held up his hands in mock defense

"I understand man, just sucks, cause I like you a lot."

"You don't even know me man."

"True, but I could, if you gave me half a chance. You'd see how much fun I can be."

Mike laughed, "I'm sure I'll see how much fun you can be."

"Well don't knock it till you've tried it. But seriously, what would it hurt to talk to me for a few, get to know me. There'll be no fucking, I promise." He smiled on that last count, and for the first time in a long time, Mike found himself laughing along. He knew deep down that this kid was trouble, but ignored his intuition, taking the kid's number and reluctantly promising to call.

Of course that was an impossibility when Ben was around, but a month later, he left on a two week business trip and that gave Mike the perfect opportunity to lose his mind.

He had called the kid the day after Ben had left and had agreed to meet him at a coffee house on the Lower West Side. He didn't know what he expected to happen, but he knew that he couldn't simple dismiss the kid. Not at this point anyway. It was as if every time he closed his eyes, the kid's face would pop into his head.

Shaking all those thoughts out of his head, Mike walked into the coffee shop and took a seat at a booth near the window. A waitress walked over to him and poured him a cup of coffee and handed him a menu. As he scanned the back page, the jingle of the doorbell rang and he looked up, his eyes meeting the kid's, who gave him a wide smile and walked over to him, taking the seat opposite him.

"Waiting long?" He asked, removing his scarf and jacket.

"No, I just got here like two minutes ago."

The kid nodded and signaled to the waitress that he needed coffee.

"Steve." He then stated, looking intently at Mike.

"What?" Mike questioned.

"My name is Steve or Steven. We've been 'seeing' each other all these weeks and it just occurred to me that I never gave you my name nor did you ask." And if as an afterthought he added, "you're not afraid to be seen here with me are you Mike?"

His smirk was infectious and found himself smiling as well.

"No, I'm not afraid of being seen with you and I'm not afraid of you. I know you think I am but I'm not." And even though he wasn't so sure of his statement, he didn't want to give Steve the impression that he had one up on Mike. Mike had been where he had been once upon a time and he knew all about that swagger and confident strut guys like Steve acquired from the tricks of the trade.

"I never thought it." Steve stated just as the waitress came over with a steaming pot of coffee. She poured some into his cup and handed him a menu before walking away and leaving the two alone.

Mike noted that Steve's' eyes never left his own and he found himself coming undone. He knew he was playing with fire by encouraging these interactions but he couldn't seem to help himself. He admitted to himself a while back that he was attracted to the young kid and that a small part of him wondered what it would be like to be with someone who was more down to earth and less high maintenance, someone the opposite of Ben. Don't get it wrong, he did love Ben, but sometimes, he yearned for the feel of normalcy, something he had acquired when he had begun to live with Walter and Chris.

And as soon as he realized he had thought about Walter and Chris, he shook those thoughts out of his head and averted his gaze from Steve. What the hell was he doing? This kid was a hoar and he wanted to fuck Mike. He probably hoped that Mike was loaded and planned to blackmail him to keep quiet. How could he be so stupid as to entertain this distraction, and for what? A ten minute fuck? He hurriedly drank the last of his coffee, threw a few bills down on the table, and begun to put on his coat and scarf. The kid gave him a puzzled look and begun to follow suit.

"Where are we headed?" He asked nonchalantly.

"We are not going anywhere Steve. I think we need to stop this before it goes any further."

"What? What are you talking about?" The puzzled look on the kid's face was priceless and it reminded Mike of himself many years ago.

"Look Steve, you're a nice kid and all but you fuck for a living and I'm not interested in being a client ok. I have a man who would kill me if he knew what I was up to while he's out of town. And as much as you think you can turn me out, it's not going to happen. We're just not on the same level and I'm not going to put myself in a compromising position just for a few minutes of pleasure just for you to blackmail with it later."

And it was as if the kid had been punched in the stomach. His face contorted from confusion to anger in under two seconds.

"You know what, I don't know why I convinced myself that you were not a snob because you clearly have that bug up your ass! For your information, I was not trying to fuck myself into your wallet. If I wanted to fuck someone for money, I could have my pick ok. I was just trying to be friendly with you because I thought you were a nice guy but obviously I was wrong. Thanks for the coffee." And with that, the kid got up and started walking towards the door, pulling it open angrily and storming out.

Mike sighed loudly and put his head in his hand. He hadn't expected that reaction from the kid and it made him feel like the biggest asshole there ever was. He didn't mean to come off as harsh as he did but he didn't know of any other way to get the kid to back off.

He lifted his head and looked across the booth seat and noticed a black billfold resting on the plush ruby leather covering of the seat. He reached across the seat and picked it up. Opening it up he saw a few hundred dollars inside and a photo id with Steve's picture on it, as well as NYS drivers' license. He noted the address as one close to the coffee shop and made the decision right then and there to return it, and hopefully rectify the situation. He stood, zipped his jacket and walked out of the coffee shop.

"What? You surprised I don't live in a dump?" The question was meant to be a jab at Mike but it went over his head as he took the time to admire the studio in which he now stood. It was beautiful and very homey.

"This is...wow...it's great. Those paintings, who painted those?" He finally averted his eyes from the picture of a crying little boy in the embrace of his mother, to look at Steve.

"I did. It was a long time ago. That was me and my mother, or what I thought she looked like. I never met her." His voice was somber as he said it and this time, the meaning of his words did not go over Mike's head. He knew what it was like to not have a mother, after all, he had a mother who didn't care and to him she was as good as dead.

"You're good. The emotion just comes through so well. You must have been so young when you painted that."

"Fourteen. My foster mother had a whole room full of paint supplies and she'd let us use them whenever we wanted to. It usually kept us out of trouble."

Mike turned to look at Steve, "You grew up in a foster home?"

"Yeah, since I was about three."

"I used to live on the streets." The admission surprised Mike, but unlike the times before, he wasn't interested in suppressing the truth.

"When?"

"When I was about fifteen. My parents divorced and I got shuttled around a lot till I decided I didn't want to live with either my mom or dad. They didn't even notice I was gone. I stayed in a shelter for a few months then I met someone who was nice enough to take me in."

"I'm glad. The streets are a tough place to be. When I started working them I got taken advantage a lot cause I didn't know the rules and all that, but I've adapted, you know. And I don't plan on being out there forever either. I figured that over the past four years I've saved enough to put myself through art school and after that, who knows."

"Well what about rent. Who pays for all of this?"

Steve grinned and arched an eyebrow.

"A wealthy benefactor who shall not be named. Let's just say that I trade services for goods. He's a decent guy and he understands our arrangement. I get a nice place to stay and whenever he's in town, we hook up. It's kinda like having a real boyfriend except there's no real emotion involved. It's a way to live, you know. But I wouldn't expect you to understand all that. You have your perfect boyfriend, and probably a perfect condo, and a perfect life. In fact, I'm surprised that you'd lower your standards to be seen with me in public knowing what I do for a living."

His comments stung Mike but he didn't say anything. He deserved it and he sure as hell was living up to Steve's view of him, so who was he to cry foul.

"I'm sorry. I have no right to judge you. It's hard to get out of the persona, you know. And I do understand. You do what you have to in order to survive. There's nothing wrong with that. I misjudged you, and for that I'm sorry."

Steve's expression softened.

"I know you have a man already but if it's ok with you, I'd like to be your friend. I'm a bit short on those."

And Mike found himself uttering an answer without having to think about it. He felt a connection to Steve and no matter how many reasons he gave himself to end things right here and now, he found an almost unprecedented number of other reasons to give the kid a chance. Maybe it was their similar past or the fact that Steve wasn't Ben. No matter the reason though, he felt the strong urge to have this man in his life and the only way out of it was by giving in.

"No problem, friend."

It had been almost two months since their argument and Walter was still unable to break through the barrier that Chris had put up. It was as if Chris wanted nothing to do with him. He had tried his best to get Chris to believe that he had been faithful, but his partner was not having it, telling Walter that he didn't listen to liars. He had practically moved out of their shared bedroom and had taken up residence on the futon in the guest room. And beyond the obligatory good morning and good night, conversation had all but halted. Walter was in turmoil and wrestled with whether or not to risk what was left of his relationship in order to set the facts straight. He had gone over every scenario possible in his head, but none saw him winning Chris back. In fact, no matter which way he sliced and diced the truth, he always saw Chris packing his bag, calling him sick, and walking out.

Robert who had known Walter since he opened his company, and Dave who had known him since college, had both encouraged him to tell Chris the truth, if not for himself, then for his piece of mind.

"I don't know how you've been able to keep this from him for the past fifteen years man. You should have just been upfront with him about it back then. I'm sure he wouldn't have cared."

Walter had scoffed at the idea, "sure, I'm sure he wouldn't have minded. I could have just said, "Chris, honey, when I was 21 I almost killed a kid because I found out he was a prostitute and was threatening to send pictures of us fucking to my father". I'm sure that would have gone over real well with him Dave. You forget what Chris used to do before we met. God, do you know how many damn times he's told me he's been attacked, beaten, almost raped, and you expect me to tell him I inflicted the same injury on another kid just like him? He would never forgive me for that, and I will never forgive myself for that. That kid almost died because I couldn't face my father about my sexuality.

Dave had sighed then.

"The kid has forgiven you Walter. He's trying to get the courts to reduce your probation. If he can forgive you, why can't you forgive yourself and trust Chris to forgive you. You've done a lot for that kid. Don't you trust him to do the same for you?"

And even though he knew that Dave had his best interest at heart, Dave did not know Chris. He didn't understand the amount of shit that Chris had been through. But Walter knew, and he felt Chris's pain. And he would rather kill himself than put Chris through anymore pain. That was his job, to be Chris' protector, and he took the job seriously.

And that was why he continued to stay quiet after everything had transpired. He figured that Chris would be able to forgive an imagined affair than a real life attempted murder.

He broke out of his thought as the front door opened and Chris walked in with a bag full of groceries. Walter's face automatically produced a frown as he realized that Chris had done the week's shopping without him. All the years that they had been together, they had always done the big grocery shopping together.

"You need some help hun?" He asked walking over to Chris, but was quickly rebuffed when Chris walked past him, struggling with six bags and not acknowledging Walter's presence. Chris's actions hurt Walter but he refused to let his emotions show.

"How long are we going to keep this up Chris? I love you and I don't know what else you want me to do to prove that to you?"

Chris did not turn around as he responded with, "Tell the truth then. That's all you have to do for things to go back to the way they were. You're the one doing this to us Walt. You! Not me!"

"I am telling the truth. I told you about Dave, about our relationship, everything."

Chris just laughed and turned to face Walter, his eyes glazed over,

"You think after fifteen years I wouldn't know when my partner is lying from when he's telling the truth? You think I'm stupid? I know you Walter and I know you're lying and I know it involves another man and I want the truth. If we don't have honesty, then we don't have anything."

Walter didn't know what to say so he just stood rooted to the spot, not quite catching Chris' eye. And it was as if that was all Chris needed to convince himself of Walter's guilt.

"I wasn't gonna do this but I can't live like this anymore. I don't trust you anymore and it hurts because you're the only family I have. You're the only man that I've loved and I thought you felt the same way but I guess I was wrong."

"Chris..." Walter started and stopped for Chris put up his hand, signaling that he wasn't finished.

"I think it would be best for now if I moved out, got my own place. I'm not breaking up with you but I need time by myself to think. I've been looking at apartments in the city and I think I've found one that's reasonable priced." When Walter didn't say anything, he continued,

"I'm hoping that after some time, we can get back together and things will work out, but if not....Damn Walt, why are you making me do this? Don't you see I don't want to do this?"

By this time, tears had sprung to Chris' eyes and had started to fall down his face.

"I've told you everything that there is to know about me. You know I fucked for money. You know the number of guys, the positions, you know all that shit! Fuck! I have told you every single embarrassing shit that has happened in my fucking life so why can't you trust me! Don't I deserve that from you?"

"Yes." Walter whispered, his own eyes starting to water.

"Yes, you deserve that and so much more but I'm afraid. I'm afraid if I tell you what's wrong, you'll walk out on us and this relationship and that you'll hate me Chris. And while I could survive if you walked out, I could never live with the fact that you hate me."

Walter used both his hands to wipe away his tears but it was useless. They kept coming and showed no sign of letting up.

Chris walked up to him and took both of Walters hands into his, caressing them.

"Walt, have I ever walked out on you?" Chris questioned.

"No"

"Have I ever made you feel as if you were never enough for me?"

"No"

"Have I ever made you feel as if you couldn't trust me with anything?"

"No"

"The why won't you trust me with this? What could be so damned important and sacred that you're willing to sacrifice my leaving for it?"

"You don't understand."

"Well make me understand. Make me understand babe, please." Chris pleaded, lifting Walter's hands to his lips.

And it took for that simple gesture to get Walter talking. He left nothing out as he told Chris about that balmy night in 1978 when he almost ended the life of a seventeen year old kid. He told Chris about meeting the kid in bar in Westchester and about them having sex in a car park near a highway. He told him about the kid's request for money and his surprise at finding out the kid was a prostitute. He told him about the kid recognizing him as the son of a popular Texan lawmaker and threatening to go the press about their liaison. he told him about the gun he kept and how in the midst of panic he told the kid to keep his mouth shut or else, how the kid had laughed and kicked him in the stomach, and how he had took out the gun, pointed it at the kid. He told Chris how the kid had grabbed the gun and how it had gone off, hitting him in the stomach. He told him how in panic he had driven the kid to a hospital, left him on a pavement and drove off. He told him off being arrested, tried and convicted, as well as spending seven years in prison. He told Chris off coming out and trying to get his life together, choosing to work with the homeless, many of them prostitutes. And he told Chris of trying to get his probation reduced and that part of his life done and over with. He told Chris all of this, not looking directly at him and waiting for him to do the inevitable. He expected Chris to pack his bags and leave, never to look back. But Chris did none of that. At the end of Walter's story, he pulled him close and wrapped his arms around his partner, holding him tight.

"Oh Walt, we all make mistakes. You made a mistake twenty six years ago and you paid for it. How could you ever think I would hate you for that? You tried to help that kid. You did the right thing."

"But I could have killed him. That could have been you Chris. That could have been Mike. That could have been you. I tried to kill another human being because I was a coward. How can you ever forgive me for that?"

Chris pulled himself away from Walter and lifted his chin so that his eyes focused on Chris.

"Because you've learned from your mistakes. You've made good Walt. Look at what you've done for yourself and for others. You helped us out at the center as well as countess other teens who were in the same position as us. You help out at the center today whenever you have a free moment and you give as much as you can financially. You also keep me focused and dedicated when I feel like giving up. That's why I can forgive you."

And it was as if a weight had been lifted from Walter's shoulders. He broke down and sobs racked his body.

"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry." Were the only words that he would say and within a few minutes, when his sobs had subsided and his body had calmed, he was finally able to speak clearly.

"Will you let me make it up you?"

Without even saying a word, Chris leaned in and kissed Walter's lips with his own, answering his question and hopefully quelling any doubts that his partner may have had.

And while Walter hadn't quite understood the inner workings of what had just happened, he was content with it all. And it made him realizes once again why after all these years; he still loved Chris and only Chris. And how could he not.

CHAPTER 5

It had been five months since he had started seeing Steve and he knew where things were headed. But despite knowing, he did nothing to stop it. His attraction to the kid had continued to grow and the bond they shared seemed to become tighter especially since his bond with Ben continued to crumble. Two months back, Mike had discovered Ben in a compromising position with another man and was only offered the explanation of 'it just happened', but he knew better. Sex never just happened. It was always a calculated move where both parties weighed the pros and cons of going ahead with the interaction. And as many times before, he was sure that Ben thought that he would understand and eventually get over it.

And surprisingly, he had, and fairly quickly at that. He found himself more upset with the fact that Ben and his bed partner had had sex in sheets that Mike had just washed, rather than the fact that they had had sex. And he knew who was to blame for this sense of complacency.

Steve.

Despite being eight years younger than Mike, Steve was an intelligent man who knew exactly what he wanted out of life and was willing to work hard for it. Since they had been friends, Mike knew for a fact that Steve had cut back on the number of sexual partners he entertained, choosing rather to sexually involved with only the man whose studio he occupied. He had found other interest which included selling his art on the street and taking art classes at Parsons. And of course, he made no bones about wanting Mike to leave Ben.

"You know you're always welcomed to crash here till you get on your feet. I know that Robin won't mind. And you could put that degree of yours to good use. A lot of companies are looking for architects."

"I know, but why mess with a good thing. With Ben, so many things are possible."

"But are you happy?"

Mike never thought of that before. He had always put the financial aspects of living with Ben above the emotional ones. Ben had money, Ben was well bred, and Ben was a great provider. But when it came to being rich in emotions, consideration, and equality, Ben had failed miserable. But you couldn't live on emotions. Considerations didn't buy food, and equality wouldn't pay the rent.

"I'm where I want to be in my life." He stated, looking over at Steve. In response, Steve shrugged his shoulders and turned back to the television, and to the movie that they were watching. Tired of being in the house when Ben went away, Mike had taken to staying over at Steve's place on the weekends. They usually stayed in and watched a movie or went out for a drink or to a club. It was interesting to Mike to see how the other side lived. And he had to admit he liked it, a lot. Last night, Steve had taken Mike to bowling alley, where they met up with a few of Steve's friends. He was surprised that most of Steve's friends were successful lawyers, business people, and Wall Street associates. And he was surprised at the ease at which they blended in with Steve. Not once did anyone talk about business, nor did they go into socialite mode. It was just like a normal Friday night out with the guys. And when the evening came to an end, they all shook hands with Mike and made promises to see both he and Steve on Sunday for brunch.

"I just think that there's more to life than being pampered. There's more to you than Ben. I mean, that was the whole reason why I came on to you the way I did. There was just something about you that I found so damn attractive. In fact, I still find you attractive. And if you would just give me a chance, I could show you that there is more to life than what you've experiences so far."

Mike sighed and scooted closer to Steve on the couch.

"I'm with Ben Steve, you know that. Why does this have to be so complicated? I like you and I like being your friend. Can't you just be satisfied with that?"

It was then that Steve turned to look at him.

"I would be satisfied with that if you weren't so hell-bent on hiding me from your highness. I mean we've been seeing each other for over five month, and not once have you suggested I meet Ben. What, are you afraid that I'm going to embarrass you or something? Am I not gentlemanly enough for you? Or is it the fact that you're afraid Ben will be embarrassed that you're associating with a hoar?"

His words were harsh and reminded Mike of what Chris had said to him a few months earlier.

"You're not a hoar ok. It's just that Ben won't understand ok. He's not like other people, he's up there, his thinking is up there."

"In other words, he's an arrogant, snob who thinks the rest of us are beneath him."

"It's not like how you're making it sound. He can be a sweetheart sometimes and he loves me."

"But not enough to accept your friends."

That shut Mike down and he turned to stare at the television once again.

"Oh Mike, I care about you so fucking much and I'd give anything to have a chance with you but you won't let me. Can't you see that to Ben you're just a kept boy?"

And it was as if something in mike snapped. He was tired of people telling him what was good for him and what he did and did not deserve, and the words were out of his mouth before he could even process them.

"And I'm sure you'd know all about that. God knows how many dicks you've sucked and fucked in your lifetime."

And it was as if I pin had dropped. Not a sound could be heard in the room except for the television.

Mike looked over to see Steve slumped in the couch, his face tight and his eyes shallow.

"I can't believe you'd say that to me man. I thought you were my friend."

"And I thought you were mine."

"So I guess that's how you feel about me huh. You think I'm a hoar who has probably fucked every gay man in NYC. Well you know what, you're probably right. I've fucked and sucked a lot of guys in my time but at least it has been on my terms. And I bet that's something you can't say about your perfect relationship with Ben. You go around worshipping the guy like he's your master or something and what have you got to show for it. A penthouse that's not in your name, clothes that you didn't buy, and a fucking attitude that makes you out to be the biggest asshole that there is. Well you know what Mike, if that's the way you feel about me, then maybe you shouldn't come around anymore. I wouldn't want to embarrass you or anything. In fact, why the fuck don't you just leave."

And that's just what he did. He packed his bags and without a look back, he left. He tried to convince himself that it was for the best, that this was what he wanted, but as he neared his building, he couldn't deny the feeling of loss that had settled in his stomach. If he were honest with himself, he would admit his attraction to Steve. And not only the physical aspect of him. Steve could hold his own with the best of them, intelligence wise, and he was so damn talented. But Steve was too much like Mike for anything to ever happen between them. Mike wanted to distance himself from that lifestyle, and if he ever got involved with Steve, he wouldn't be able to keep the early part of his life a secret. And that was all this was about. And while Steve and Chris may have been ok with that part of their life, he was not. And that was that.

TWO MONTHS LATER

He gripped Ben's shoulder tightly, as he slammed into Mike with more force than passion. They were fucking for the second time that day, but instead of Mike controlling the speed by being on top, he was on his back, Ben between his legs, pistoning his dick in and out of mike's ass as if it were a race. In fact, Mike was tempted to bite his nails but refrained. It would be such a hassle then, explaining to Ben why he wasn't moaning and groaning like a man in the throes of pleasure.

Mike had not remembered Ben's love making being this bad when they had last had sex a week and a half ago before Ben had left for Milan. And even though it hadn't been great, compared to this display, it had been heaven.

"Ben, honey, slow it down will you, I feel as if you're gonna break my ass in two."

Ben lifted up his body and looked into Mike's eyes, a smile gracing his face.

"Come on hun, God I missed you. Bare with me a little bit." And with that, he continued with his assault.

Mike just closed his eyes and not surprisingly, Steve's face came to mind. It had been two months since he had seen or heard from him. Two months that had been incredible lonely for Mike. He had missed his friendship with Steve and had thought many times, to pick up the phone and call. But every time he did, he thought of all the shit he had said to him and just hung up. Mike had come to realize that a big part of him wanted Steve, wanted to take hold of all that he had to offer. But another part, a smaller part, was afraid to leave Ben. Afraid to venture out on his own.

Ben's grunting and impending orgasm, broke him out of thought and put aside all thoughts of Steve, for the moment. Ben lifted himself off of Mike, pulling out of his ass and got out of bed.

Mike watched as Ben walked into the bathroom and closed the door behind him. And it was then that he decided now was as good a time as any to test the waters. To test everyone else's theory of how Ben really felt about him.

"Ben, I love you." He waited for Ben to respond with something, anything.

"What was that hun?"

"I love you."

"You too hun." And not surprisingly, Mike found that he wasn't upset that Ben had not echoed his words. He didn't care that Ben wouldn't say those three little words, he didn't care that Ben had fucked him like a selfish lover, and above all, he finally realized that he didn't care about Ben. Not in the romantic sense anyway.

It was strange how simple the whole process had been. That in that one moment he was able to come to a conclusion that he should have come to years ago. He climbed out of bed and begun to hurriedly don his clothes. When he was dressed, he reached into the closet and began to pull clothes off of their hangers in record time, throwing them into a black suitcase. And just as Ben walked out of the bathroom, towel around waist, he was halfway down the hall and making his way towards the front door, reaching it as Ben rounded the corner.

"Going somewhere?" He questioned

"Yeah, I'm leaving Ben. I can't play this game with you anymore."

Ben started to walk towards him but Mike told him to stop.

"Don't come any closer Ben, please. I can't explain all of this to you right now but I will, soon. I just can't be here right now with you. I've had all these months to think about where my life is headed and I've realized that since I've been here, it's been headed no where. I'm not happy Ben. I'm not happy with the way I've been living and I'm not happy with you. You've done a lot for me for which I will be always grateful for but I can't keep depending on you for everything. Over the last few months, I've been seeing a guy, a friend, and he's been so great to me. And the thing is, we're really just friends. He understands me and he doesn't have all these expectations. I think ...no, I know that I want to develop something with him."

After his speech, Mike expected Ben to be angry, screaming and shouting at him, telling him what a user he was, but to his surprise, Ben was calm as ever and not the least bit upset.

"Well I can't say that I'm surprised Mike. These past few months you've been growing distant and now I know why."

"I never cheated on you Ben."

"I know you didn't. Listen Mike, we were never exactly compatible to start off with. I mean you and I were never on the same level if you know what I mean. And as much as we tried to make it work, it didn't. Its water under the bridge and it's been that way for a while. And I guess now would be a good time as any to tell you I've been seeing someone else. His name's Reynard and I met about a year ago in Milan. His father owns a chain of hotels over there and he's a very successfully banker. I think we mesh well."

"Well I guess it's settled then."

"I guess it is. No hard feelings?"

"No hard feelings." And with that, Mike walked up to Ben and hugged him, and planted a kiss on his cheek. When they pulled apart Ben reached unto the near by table and retrieved some money from underneath a vase, handing it to Mike.

"Take it."

"No."

"Listen, please, just take it. I've always given you money. Just until you get on your feet."

Mike nodded and placed the money in his back pocket, not bothering to count it. He shook Ben's hand, and with that, he walked out.

He didn't know what he was going to do but he knew where he had to go. He hailed a cab at the corner and gave the driver the address he had come to know by heart. And as the cab took off, he thought about what he was going to say to Steve when he saw him. 'I'm sorry' just didn't seem to cut it. He had virtually thrown away a good friendship for a life that didn't make him happy.

"We're here buddy." The driver's burly voice shook him out of thought. He paid the fare and exited the cab with his suitcase in tow. And as he stood in front of Steve's building, his heart seemed to be racing a mile a minute. He wanted to run, that was what he was good at. He ran away from home, he ran away from Walter and Chris, he ran away from his past, and most importantly, he ran away from Steve, maybe the one guy, other than Chris, who he could relate to. But unlike those times before, he was not going to run away again. He pulled open the lobby door and stepped in.

"I'm surprised to see you here."

Steve's words held no life to them but then again, they didn't sound angry, and for that, Mike was grateful.

"Yeah. I just had to come see you and apologize for the shitty way I treated you and your friendship. I know I didn't always show it, but it meant a lot to me."

When Steve didn't respond, he continued.

"When I left here, I was angry. But not at you. I was angry because I guess the truth was hitting too close to home. You weren't the first person to give me a reality check and I guess I just didn't want to face it. But Steve, when I went back to Ben, your words just kept echoing in my head and I couldn't get them out. I wanted to so bad but I couldn't. And then this morning, it just hit me full force and I came to a realization."

"Which was?" Steve had finally let his gaze settle on Mike, something which made Mike uneasy but at the same time, reinforced the fact that he had made the right decision.

"I'm not in love with Ben."

"Well I'm glad you came to that realization Mike, I really am. But forgive me when I say that I could really give a rat's ass. And if you'll excuse me, I have some packing to do."

It was then that Mike had a chance to take into consideration the boxes that had littered the apartment.

"Where are you going?" He asked anxiously.

"Away. Away from this place, away from New York, away."

Mike could feel the color from his face fade.

"Why?"

"Why? Because I do have other aspirations besides fucking, Mike. And contrary to popular belief, that won't be my lifelong career of choice. Besides, the guy that loaned me this place has moved on to greener pastures so..."

"I'm sorry, for everything. Where are you gonna go?"

Steve shrugged his shoulders, "Maybe California or Florida. I hear Florida has some pretty good art schools. And just maybe, I'll meet me a nice man down there that isn't hung up on the fact that I fucked for money."

"Well I'm not hung up on the fact that you fucked for money." And it was as if the moment of truth had arrived. It was now or never, "I mean, how can I be hung up it when I did the same thing."

He looked in Steve's face, trying to gauge a reaction: anger, hatred, anything.

"What?"

He took and deep breath and repeated himself, "When I was fifteen, after I left my mom's house, I lived on the streets, and in order to survive, I sold my body. It was me and my friend Chris. We did it for less than a year before we wound up in a shelter on 111th street."

"Shit!"

"Yeah, so you see Steve, if you're moving away so you can find a man that is not hung up on the fact that you fucked for money, you don't have to move too far. I could be that man for you."

"What are you trying to say man?"

Mike walked up to him and took both his hands in his own.

"I'm not in love with Ben but I am in love with you. I don't know when it happened, but it did. And I don't want you to leave, because if you do, I'll just have to follow you and this suitcase isn't exactly light."

By this time, Mike's hands were shaking. He didn't know what Steve would do or say and he was terrified. For once, he had no place to go or no one to turn to if Steve told him to fuck off and get out.

"Mike, I don't know what to say. I mean as much as I want nothing more than to try and make this work, I don't think I can offer you what you're used to. Shit man, I'm about to be homeless, jobless, and I don't have an Ivy League education. Why the fuck would you want to put yourself through that?"

"Because...because I love you." And even though it was hard to say, it felt so right to say it. And apparently, that was all that Steve needed to hear, for he took Mike into his arms and held him close.

"I love you too." He whispered, running his hand through Mike's hair.

"Oh geez man, I was so scared you would tell me to fuck off."

Steve chuckled, while continuing to caress Mike's hair.

"I was, but then I thought about what it felt like when you hadn't been round for the last two months. And shit man, I didn't want to go through that again."

And that was all Mike needed to hear. Steve knew about his past but still loved him. He still wanted to be with him. No more words were exchanged for that moment, but with Steve holding him like that, none needed to be.

And it had been a simple phone call that had gotten both men in the same room after all these years. Neither recognized the other but that still didn't diminish the fact that there was still some deep seated animosity between them. And since he had called the meeting, Mike decided to be the instigator.

"I'm glad you came Chris. I'm surprised, but glad."

"Well I came just because Walter asked me to. I really don't have much to say to you man. I don't even know you anymore."

'Fair enough' thought Mike. After all, he was the one who had abandoned their friendship, and he was the one that had said all those horrible things about Chris and Walter.

"You're absolutely right. And I appreciate you being here. And I deserved that. After the way I treated you guys, I deserve every mean thing you have to say to me. But before you do, just let me get this off my chest."

When Chris didn't say anything, he continued.

"It took me meeting a special guy to get me going on the right track, but I have. He basically told me the same thing that you've been telling me about myself. That I've been a coward, and you both were right. I've been running away from my past, a past that I had no control over. But I've stopped running Chris. I told this guy all about what we had to do as kids, and I didn't leave anything out. And you know what, he understood, and he didn't judge me. In fact, he told me that he loved me. And he made me realize that if I ever expect to move on from that point in my life, I'm gonna have to face it. I'm in counseling now and I am making progress. But there is one part of my life that I have not begun to resolve, and that was my relationship with you and Walter. You guys did so much for me and I shit on you, and I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I don't expect you to want to have anything to do with me after everything, but I hope, I hope that you can forgive me."

And when Chris didn't respond, Mike took that as a defeat and begun to get up from his seat, only to be pulled down by Chris.

"Wait, just wait a second. I can't say that I've forgiven you cause I haven't. And it's going to take more than one meeting to do that, but I do accept your apology. You were such a big part of my younger life Mike, a big part. You were the little brother that I never had. I tried to protect you and do what big brothers do. I did my best. And I'm not saying that this means that things are cool with us, cause they're far from being cool. All I'm saying is that for the sake of closure at the least, I want to try and talk things out. But I need time man. I can't be buddy buddy with you in an instant. It's going to take time."

"I know man." Mike whispered.

"Good. But this is a start, and even though I might not be showing it, I'm glad we're finally resolving this."

And that's where things were left. Over the next few months they met, usually briefly to talk, but this showed Mike that Chris was making an effort to work with him. Chris even invited him to dinner at his and Walter's place, an invitation that Mike gladly accepted. Over the next year, things had progressed so well, that Chris had invited both Mike and Steve to the reopening of the newly renovated center.

"Damn Mike, I'm glad you guys could make it." Chris stated, grabbing Mike into a bear hug.

"Thanks for inviting us man. The place looks phenomenal." And it did. The center had added an extra wing which held up to fifteen extra beds, and they were now able to hire a professional chef that churned out delicacies instead of simple canned meats and vegetables. They were still overbooked but with the help of a nearby job bank, they were able to provide the residents an opportunity to learn a trade free of charge and to hopefully put the pieces of their lives back together.

All of this was made possible by an anonymous two million dollar donation. Mike suspected he knew where the money had come from but never let on.

"Well we're about to cut the ribbon so you guys better grab a seat." And with that, Chris went to stand beside Walter, placing his arm around his partners' waist, holding it tightly.

And while he sat, Mike couldn't help but think how far they had come. They had been through so much in their lives but had managed to make good out of a bad situation. Chris and Walter seemed happier than ever, having recently taken a three week cruise through Europe. Chris's center seemed to be booming more than ever and financial donations poured in due to all the positive publicity that it had been receiving. Mike himself had finally been able to leave counseling, having started to put his past behind him after accepting it. He and Steve had stayed together and had been living together for almost a year and a half in an apartment on the lower east side. Steve had gone to parsons and his art had made quite a stir in the community they had been living in. A local gallery owner had even featured his work free of charge and had sold many of his pieces for a nominal fee. Mike on the other hand had finally gotten his act together, getting a job as an architect for a downtown construction company. He was making base pay but he was happy. He had seen Ben twice since the breakup and was surprised to see that he had somehow let go of his snobbish attitude and had joined the 'little people' down on earth. He was even friendly with Steve, buying two pieces from him.

As for him and Chris, it had all started with them and it seemed to be continuing with them. They were closer than ever, spending at least one night a week together. And Mike couldn't imagine asking for anything more. He had a partner who loved and accepted him, and a best friend who found it in his heart to forgive and take him back.

Chris's booming voice broke him out of thought.

"Well I'd like to thank all of you for coming out on this cold to day to celebrate with us, the reopening of this center. This has been a staple to this community and we've been through it all. But what has kept this center together has not only been the generous donations, but also the love and support of the people who volunteer their time and energy here. The people who work to make these facilities clean, and above all, the people in the community who care enough to come out and interact with the patrons. You guys just by being here, make this reopening possible, and for that, I offer my thanks to you. The teens that come here offer their thanks to you. And without further ado, we will cut the ribbon."

And in front of a packed room, Chris cut the ribbon attached to the new wing. The crowd cheered and hollered, causing the floor to vibrate. The staff then begun to pass out food and beverages to all the attendees of the ceremony.

And as Mike watched all of this from the comfort of his seat, He couldn't help but feel blessed. Yes, he was truly blessed.

THANKS ALL FOR READING 'REDEMPTION'. I KNOW IT'S BEEN A WHILE SINCE I'VE WRITTEN ANYTHING SO I DEDICATE THIS STORY TO ALL OF YOU HAVE EVER READ ANYTHING I HAVE WRITTEN AND HAVE SENT KIND WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT AND CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM. IT HAS BEEN APPRECIATED. THIS IS FOR YOU.

J - COMMENTS ARE APPRECIATED AND WELCOMED