Well folks, here it is. The final chapter of Reap the Whirlwind. It's been a wild ride. I have included a personal note at the end. See you in my next story!
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Email: Aterovis@aol.com
Chapter 21
The reception that followed the wedding was almost as unconventional as the ceremony itself. The most traditional touch was a beautifully decorated three-tiered wedding cake, but even that had an original touch. On the top proudly stood two grooms, one with black hair and one with brown.
Everyone stayed for the small informal party except Mom, who begged off to get back to Dad. It was obvious that she felt uncomfortable though, and would have found some reason to leave even if Dad hadn't been in the hospital. But then, who could blame her really? She'd been a pastor's wife her entire adult life. I was very touched that she was there at all.
The only other person who didn't seem to be completely thrilled for us was Caitlin. I'd noticed that she'd kept a strange expression on her face throughout the ceremony and now she seemed be positively glaring in our direction every time I looked her way. Whenever she noticed that I was looking at her though, she would quickly rearrange her features into a poor imitation of a smile. It came out as more of a grimace though, as if she was experiencing some sort of sudden attack of gastro-intestinal pain.
Eventually I disengaged myself from Aidan, no easy task since he seemed to have become so attached to my arm that I thought I might have to be surgically removed, and made my way over to her.
Once there, however, I didn't know what to say. She didn't make it easy on me. She stared at me with her arms crossed and an unreadable expression on her face.
"Um, hey. You ok?" I said after an awkward pause.
"Why wouldn't I be?" she said icily.
"I don't know, but your body language is speaking pretty clearly," I said in what I hoped was a lighthearted manner.
"And what is it saying?"
"Um...I just wanted to make sure you were ok."
"Oh, I'm grand. That was some surprise you guys pulled here tonight. I sure as hell didn't see it coming. God I wish I had a drink."
I blinked in surprise at the venom in her voice.
"We didn't want to make a big deal out of it. We wanted it to be a surprise."
"Well you succeeded. It makes me wonder what else you've been keeping from me."
"What are you talking about?"
"I can see the writing on the wall, Will. You've got your perfect little family now, newly weds with a baby on the way. Only one little problem: me. Once the baby's here I'll be out of the picture."
"That's crazy!"
"Oh, so now I'm crazy?"
"No, I mean...Caitlin, you're the mother. I'd never try to cut you out of the baby's life. I'm just going to help you, that's all."
"Sure, that's what you say now. I'll bet you're already planning ways to get rid of me."
"Where is this coming from?" I looked around to see if anyone was close enough to bail me out of this bizarre encounter. Everyone seemed to be involved in their own conversations, completely oblivious to the parallel universe that I seemed to have slipped into.
With a sudden intensity that took me off guard, Caitlin leaned in and grabbed me tightly by the wrist. Instinctively I pulled back but her grip was like iron.
"Don't think I don't know," she hissed furiously.
"Don't know what?" I asked helplessly. I felt like I was in a play in which someone had switched the scripts halfway through and no one had thought to provide me a copy.
"Don't play games with me, Will."
"Caitlin, I'm not playing games with you. I'm not playing games with anybody. I swear that I have no clue what you are talking about."
Just then the phone rang, providing me with the perfect escape from this unreal exchange.
"I'd better get that," I said and went off in search of the phone.
Killian found it before I did and answered it. I watched him listen for a few seconds then motion to Aidan. Aidan took the phone, and after listening for a few seconds himself, looked around the room. When his eyes met mine, he quickly looked away and disappeared down the hall. Was it my imagination or was he acting a bit guilty? What was going on? Had somebody slipped something in the punch? First Caitlin and now Aidan.
Thinking of Caitlin again, I turned around to see if she was still there, but she was just slipping out the door with her coat on. Everyone else was still deep in conversation so I made my way over to Killian.
"Who was that on the phone?" I asked casually. Or at least I was going for casual. It probably came out sounding desperately nosy.
"Oh, uh...I dunno. You should ask Aidan. I, uh, hafta pee. Excuse me."
I sighed. So much for casual. Another glance around the room told me everyone was still engrossed in their conversations so I started off down the hall to find Aidan.
He was in our bedroom talking in a hushed tone. When he noticed me in the doorway his eyes widened for a split-second, then he smiled and covered up the mouthpiece.
"Hey babe, you need something?" he asked cheerily. Curiouser and curiouser, I thought, especially considering that he never calls me babe.
"I was wondering where you'd disappeared to," I said.
"I have to take this call and then I'll be right out. You go on back to the party."
"Who is it?"
"Who is...uh...who?"
I sighed again, "On the phone, Aidan, who is it on the phone?"
His mouth opened and closed soundlessly several times.
"Ok, look, never mind. Forget I asked. You look like a freakin' goldfish. I'll get back to our guests."
"Will," he called and I stopped, "I...I'll tell you later, ok?"
"Whatever," I said with a disgusted wave, "I think there must be a full moon."
"Huh? Full moon?" he called after me, but I was gone.
I was a little disconcerted to realize that no one seemed to have even noticed my absence. Oh well, I thought, so much for being the guest of honor. With a shrug I grabbed up my coat and slipped out of the apartment.
I was standing by the river with my head thrown back, staring into the sky when Asher found me.
"Hey, cuz, how come you're out here? The parties inside."
"I know. That's why I'm out here."
"Not much of a party person, huh?"
"I was right. The moon is full."
"Is that why you're out here, to admire the moon? What are you now, an astronomer? It's your wedding night for Pete's sake! Come on back in."
"Everybody's acting weird. It must be because of the full moon."
"I don't know about everybody else but you sure are acting weird."
"Caitlin flipped out on me, accused me of playing some sort of game with her, and then Aidan was acting all secretive. Even Killian was acting weird."
"Ok, first off, Killian always acts weird. Second, Caitlin is pregnant, aren't pregnant women supposed to act weird? You know, hormones and all? And as for Aidan, I don't know, maybe he's planning a surprise wedding present. You guys seem to be really into surprises."
"What am I doing, Ash?"
"Um, right now? You're staring into the sky. You're neck is going to get stiff by the way. What do you mean?"
"I mean, what am I doing with my life? Getting married? I'm 18! And to a guy? I mean, three months ago I didn't even know I was gay! And a baby?" I gave a short bark of edgy laughter, "What do I know about raising a baby? Absolutely nothing. I've been messing around with a killer, I may have gotten two people killed, I could have been killed myself, or one of my friends...I've lost my fucking mind!"
"Will, take a deep breath. You've got to calm down," Asher said calmly, "I'm no expert or anything but I'm pretty sure you're supposed to have cold feet before the wedding."
"Who had time?" I laughed again. I was definitely teetering on the edge of hysteria.
"Maybe that's what this is, you're moving too fast. Do you love Aidan?"
"Yes, of course."
"You know he loves you. What more do you need? No one's saying it'll be easy, but if you love each other, you can make it through anything. Like the baby. Nobody really knows how to raise a child at first. They don't come with instruction manuals. You just do your best and give them lots of love and support. Listen to me, like I know what I'm talking about! I don't even have kids!"
"You're right, though," I was starting to calm down, my panic was subsiding, "I should have listened to you to begin with. You're the one who didn't want to get involved with this killer."
He sighed, "If you'd listened to me the police wouldn't be investigating now."
"If I'd listened to you Blake and Robbie would still be alive."
"You can't know that Will. The killer would have found them eventually if he was determined enough."
"She."
"Huh?"
"The killer is a she. You said he."
"You know that for sure now?"
"Robbie told me, before he was killed. He said the person with Joey when he died was a female."
"Oh." He didn't seem to know what to say.
"You really think Aidan and I can make it?"
He looked over at me, "Yeah, I do. I think if anybody has a chance you guys do. You ready to go back in?"
"In a minute. You go ahead."
"'K," he said and started away.
"Hey Asher, did you know Seth?" I asked suddenly.
"What?"
"Did you know Seth?"
"Whoa, where did that come from?"
"I don't know. I've just been thinking about him lately."
"Did you know him?"
"No, Aidan told me a little about him, about what happened with you and Killian and all. And then Adam was here all day today working his butt off putting together our wedding. And I couldn't help but think that he had to be thinking about Seth and how he would never get the chance to get married."
"You know I never even thought of that? Killian must have though; he's been staying kind of close to him all night, and Steve too, of course. I did know Seth a little. Not like Killian though, he was his only real friend. His death was really hard on him, but it brought us together. But this isn't what you should be thinking about tonight."
"Why not? Death has been all I've thought about for the last few months. It seems fitting somehow to think about death on my wedding night. And I have a feeling I haven't seen the last of it yet."
"You mean Uncle Lowell?"
"Yeah...and I don't know. I just have a feeling that we haven't seen the last of Joey's killer."
"God, Will! You're freaking me out."
I forced a laugh. "Sorry, Ash. Come on; let's go back in. I don't know what's wrong with me. I should be deliriously happy but I just can't shake off this feeling that it's not going to last."
"Will, you're still grieving for Joey and your dad could be dying; no one expects you to be delirious, but it is your wedding night so try to enjoy it, huh?
"Yeah, ok."
We walked back inside in a companionable silence. I was glad to have a friend and cousin as grounded as Asher. Everyone cheered as we re-entered the apartment.
"There you are," Aidan said, "Nobody knew where you had gotten to."
"You seemed busy so I went out for some air," I mumbled through a deep blush. It felt like every eye in the room was on me, which of course it was.
The party went on until late into the night. I noticed that Killian and Steve did seem to be hovering a bit around Adam, but to all appearances he seemed fine.
Things came crashing to a halt a little after midnight. The phone rang and this time I got to it first.
"Will?" It was Mom and she sounded as if she had been crying.
"Dad?" The single word was all I could manage to squeeze past the sudden lump that had formed in my throat.
"He's still hanging on but he's slipping fast, Will. The doctor said...he said I should call the family together. You're the only family..."
"I'm on my way, Ma."
I looked up to find the whole room had gone deathly quiet, apprehension was clearly written all over every face.
"It's my dad," I said hoarsely.
"I'll drive," Aidan said as he swept into action, scooping up the car keys and my coat.
"We'll come too," Killian said and Asher nodded.
"We'll stay and clean up the apartment, " Adam assured me and everyone else was quick to agree, "Don't worry about anything here. Just go."
All in all we were out the door in record time and speeding to the hospital. Once there we went directly to Dad's room. The four of us stopped just outside the door.
"You go on in," Aidan said gently, "We'll be right out here in the waiting room."
I nodded but I didn't move. With all the death that had surrounded me over the last several months I had never actually seen anyone die. I wasn't looking forward to my own father being the first. Even with, everything that had happened between us, he was still my father and I loved him. And now I was about to lose him forever.
As I stood there, immobile, I felt a hand slip into mine and pull me gently forward. It was Killian.
"Come on," he said softly, "I'll go with you."
I guess it made sense that Killian would be the least affected by the idea of seeing someone die. He had been witness to more death in his short life than most people ever saw. Somehow, his courage and his presence gave me the strength I needed and I stepped forward.
Mom looked up as we came in. She was sitting next to Dad's bed, his pale, limp hand in hers. Her hair was disarranged and there were dark circles under her red-rimmed eyes. Aunt Deb, Asher's mom, stood behind her with her hands on Mom's shoulders. She seemed surprised to see Killian but didn't say anything.
Mom gave me a shaky smile, then turned back to Dad's still form.
"Will's here," she said to him, "We're all here now."
There was no response from Dad. He looked like he was already dead. Wires and tubes came from every direction and were connected to various machines. They all attested that despite appearances, he was still alive, at least for now.
"Now that Will is here you can let go, Lowell," she said, her voice thick with emotion. I clutched Killian's hand tighter. "He knows you love him. I know you love me. And we both love you. It's ok; we'll be ok. You don't have to stay here for our sake any more."
She broke down and began to weep silently. It was like I was watching a movie with the volume turned off. Her body was wracked with huge, shuddering sobs but not a sound was heard. It was the most disturbing sight I had ever seen. I quickly knelt down next to her and hugged her. Aunt Deb bent over us in awkward embrace.
Suddenly a nurse came flying into the room, followed closely by a second. We were quickly and efficiently herded from the room.
"What's going on?" Mom demanded.
"Ma'am, you and your family will need to wait out here. A silent alarm went off and we need you to wait here until the doctor can talk to you."
"What alarm? Please tell me what's going on."
Just then a doctor in a white coat came rushing past us and into the room.
"Excuse me," the nurse said, "I need to get back in there."
She left us alone in the hall. Aidan and Asher quickly joined us and I saw Asher and his mom having a whispered conversation. We stood awkwardly in the hall, waiting. I paced and Mom sat on a bench rocking back and forth. After several minutes the doctor came back out. Mom quickly stood up and positioned herself in front of him.
"Doctor?" she said.
"Mrs. Keegan," he began. He looked very tired, as if it had been a long night and it wasn't about to get any better. I knew what was coming. "I'm very sorry. You're husband suffered another severe heart attack. The damage was so extensive that there was nothing we could do. He passed away. I'm so sorry."
He continued talking but I didn't hear him anymore. It was as if the world was slowly spinning away. The last thing I remember hearing was a horrible inhuman keening coming from my mother, and then everything went black.
When I came to I was lying in the hallway with a nurse waving smelling salts under my nose.
When she saw my eyes flutter open she asked, "Are you ok?"
I thought that was an incredibly stupid thing to ask someone whose father had just died, but I refrained from saying so. I simply nodded and sat up. Aidan was at my side in a flash to help me up. Killian and Asher were now occupying the bench, and Mom was crying on Aunt Deb's shoulder.
There were a few formalities, papers to be signed, arrangements to be made, but Aunt Deb took care of most of those and it didn't take very long. We left the hospital and went back to Mom and Dad's house, or I guess it was just Mom's now. Once there, though, there really wasn't anything to do. Mom took some sleeping pills and was out in minutes. Finally Aidan insisted we go home and I get some rest too. Killian and Asher decided to go home with Aunt Deb and come pick their car up tomorrow.
We arrived back at the apartment building just after 2 AM. Nikki's door flew open as soon as we stepped off the elevator. As soon as she saw our faces she threw her arms around me in a tight hug.
"I'm sorry, sweetie," she murmured in my ear, "as if you haven't been through enough already, now this. I couldn't sleep I was so worried. Every time the elevator came up I was out the door. Caitlin came by and I told her what was going on and she said she'd be back tomorrow, or well...I guess later this morning. Listen to me babbling on, like you care about all this right now. You need to rest. Don't even think about coming in to work tomorrow. You take some time off. We'll get by without you."
She gave me a quick peck on the forehead and then she was gone, her door shut. I stood for a minute, feeling rather like Dorothy must have felt after the tornado had dropped her off in Oz.
Without a word, Aidan went to our door and slipped the key into the lock. The door swung open at his touch, it wasn't even shut all the way.
"They must have forgot to lock it," he muttered under his breath.
I dragged myself into the apartment and stood in the middle of the living room floor. My mind was so numb that it took a minute for it to register that all the wedding decorations were gone and the furniture had been replaced. The tree had been left up but other than that you would have never known a wedding had taken place in this very room only hours before.
Aidan came up behind me and began to massage my shoulders. Then he kissed the side of my neck.
"Why don't you go get in bed?" he said softly, "I'm going to get myself a drink and I'll be right there."
I nodded and stumbled off down the hall. I pushed open our bedroom door and stopped just outside the room. The hairs on my hair suddenly stood on end and a deep sense of foreboding filled me. I'm not sure what it was, whether my subconscious noticed something and sent me an inner warning or whether it was something on a deeper level, but whatever it was I knew with perfect certainty that something horrible waited in the darkness of that room.
"Who's there?" I called out.
"What?" Aidan answered from the kitchen.
I took a step backwards, away from the room, as a voice snaked out of the shadows.
"Stop," it ordered.
I froze.
"Will?" Aidan called, "Do you need something?"
"Don't speak," the voice hissed, "Go across the hall to your old bedroom."
At first I didn't move, but then a hint of movement in the gloom caught my eye and slowly a gun materialized. It was followed by an arm and at last, the killer.
For a moment my heart stopped, and then everything made a horrible kind of sense.
"Caitlin," I said sadly.
She cocked her head to one side.
"You don't seem surprised," she said.
"Somehow I'm not."
"You're not as smart as you think you are," she growled, "You never even suspected me. I even tried to warn you, but you wouldn't listen. I told you I would do anything to protect my baby and I meant it. I don't want to do this. You're different from the others. I like you, maybe I even love you, but I don't have a choice."
"Yes, you do have a choice. You don't have to do...whatever it is you're thinking about doing."
"I'm going to kill you, Will, you and Aidan. And no, I don't have a choice. I have to protect my baby."
"There's always a choice. How is killing me going to protect your baby? I'm going to help..."
"Enough with the lies already, Will!" she interrupted angrily, "I already told you I figured out your little scam. You're not getting my baby."
"I don't want to take the baby away from you, Caitlin. I just want to help." I desperately wanted to look and see where Aidan was but I couldn't tear my eyes off of that gun.
"Get in the bedroom, now. I'm tired of playing games."
I backed up until I felt the door at my back and opened it without turning around.
"Come on out Aidan," she yelled suddenly, "There'll be no last minute heroics from you unless you want me to kill Will right now."
Aidan stepped calmly out of the kitchen but stayed at that end of the hall.
"I know the truth, Caitlin," he said in a reasonable tone, as if he was commenting on the weather or mentioning that night's TV schedule.
"What truth?" Caitlin said. It was obvious he was unnerving her.
""I talked to your dad earlier tonight, nice guy."
"You're lying."
"He told me the whole story. You see, some things didn't add up to me, I got suspicious. So I called him."
"You're a lying bastard."
"He told me all about how you've been in and out of mental hospitals all your life, emotionally unstable they said. He told me how you killed the family dog when you were 10 because you said he kept chewing your dolls up. He also told me how the doctors had finally said you were stable enough to be released and how him and your mother fought it, but they released you anyway. They haven't heard from you since...until now."
"I'm going to kill you, and I'm going to kill Will, and then I'll go away and start over somewhere where nobody can hurt me or my baby."
"You're not going anywhere, Caitlin. I'm not the only one who knows this. They'll find you and the very thing you've been afraid of all along will come true, you'll lose the baby."
"So, what, I stay here and wait for the police? I don't think so. This is all Joey's fault. He's the one that kept telling me to kill our baby. Kill it! Can you believe it? I never intended to have an abortion. I didn't mean to kill him, I just wanted to shut him up, but I'm glad I did."
"What about Blake and Robbie?"
"They had to die. They knew about me. If the police found out I would lose my baby. Everything I've done has been for the baby. I have to protect my baby, and that's what I'm doing now. Get in the room, now."
"No," he said flatly.
What was he doing? I let my eyes dart his way for a second. He was standing at the end of the hallway, leaning against the kitchen doorway, backlit by the bright light from the kitchen since I hadn't turned on the hall light. He looked almost angelic, as if he were glowing from within.
"Don't play games with me, Aidan?" her voice was getting shrill. It was obvious she was losing what little control she had. Why didn't Aidan just do what she said before he got us both killed. If he were closer maybe we could both rush her at once.
"I'm not the one playing games. You've played us all along, lied to us, manipulated us, and all the while you were a killer."
"Shut up!"
"And now the very thing you're most afraid of is about to happen."
"Shut up!"
"You're going to lose your baby because you're an insane murderer."
"Shut up, shut up, shut up!"
"You'll never see your baby again."
"Shut up, damn you!"
The blast was deafening. My body reacted without thought. At the sound of the explosion I launched myself at Caitlin full force, slamming into her and taking us both down in a pile just inside the doorway to our bedroom.
I grabbed her gun hand and we grappled for control of the weapon. With surprising strength she wrenched the gun from my grasp and whipped me across the face. I tasted the metallic twang of blood in my mouth but I was beyond pain. I blindly threw punch after punch, some connected and some didn't, but I kept on swinging. She struck me in the face again, this time connecting more solidly, and I reeled back from the blow.
I groped frantically behind me and grabbed the first thing my hand came in contact with. Caitlin scrambled backwards like a crab and pointed the gun at my head. She was a point-blank range; there was no way she would miss. I swung my hand forward, yanking the cord I had grabbed with it. The lamp on the dresser over my head swung out in an arc and smashed into the side of her head. The gun went off in another blast and I head the mirror across the room shatter.
I didn't waste a second. While she was still stunned from the blow I sprung on her and grasping the lamp like a club I brought it down over her head, once, twice...then I felt her go limp beneath me.
I snatched up the gun and shoved away as quickly as I could. I held the gun trained on her even though I had never held a gun before in my life. She didn't move a muscle, though. I struggled to my feet and backed into the hall, still keeping a careful eye on Caitlin.
"Aidan?" I called. There was no answer. "Aidan?"
I tore my eyes away from Caitlin inert body and looked for Aidan. His feet lay splayed out in the middle of the hallway; the rest of him lay out of sight on the kitchen.
"Aidan?" I called again, but louder this time, and then I was running down the short hall. I came up short at the door.
"Oh my God," I whimpered. He was still all in white, wearing the clothes that Adam had given us for our wedding, but now the front of his chest was soaked bright red. A slowly growing pool of blood surrounded him. His eyes were closed.
With a wordless shout I fell to my knees next to him and cradled his head in my lap.
His eyes fluttered open and I felt a tiny glimmer of hope stir inside me. "Oh my God, Aidan," I cried, "It's going to ok, right? You're going to be ok. We're going to be ok."
"I love you, Will," he breathed, his voice so soft I might have imagined it.
"Don't go, Aidan," I sobbed, "Please don't leave me."
"I'll love you forever, Will."
"Oh God, I love you, too, Aidan. I love you."
His eyes fluttered again, and then they closed for the last time. I knew he was gone. I felt him leave. I felt a part of my soul leave with him.
"I love you. I love you. I love you," I sobbed. I kissed his lips and rocked his body back and forth. I was still rocking and crying when the police burst in minutes later. They swarmed around me and down the hall, but they were too late. Too late for Aidan. Too late for me.
Epilogue
I looked up at Dr. Wohler. I didn't know how long I had been talking. I had lost track of time in the trance-like state I had slipped into during my narrative. Dr. Wohler was looking down at his pad. If he'd been writing the whole time he must have writer's cramp, I thought. I was surprised at how much better I felt just having told the whole story to someone. There was still an aching canyon of loss inside me, but for the first time in a over a week I felt like maybe things were going to be ok.
He looked up slowly. "You've been through a lot, Will. What happens from here? Where do you want to go from here? What happens with the baby?"
I was shocked to realize that I hadn't even thought about the baby since the night Aidan and my father died. "I...I don't know," I stammered.
"I'm sure you've had a lot of your mind, but it would be in your best interest to find out quickly. It sounds to me like you may be the baby's legal father now."
"I hadn't even thought about it," I said. "There's been so much..."
"It's understandable. Where are you staying now? Not in the apartment?"
"Oh God no. I'm staying with my mom for now. She needed someone after Dad..." I was having trouble completing my thoughts. Everything just seemed to slipping away before I could grasp it.
"Have you had any more suicidal thoughts, Will?" he asked me.
"No. Not this time. I felt I owed that much to Aidan, somehow."
He nodded, "I'm glad to hear that. You're a much stronger young man than the scared boy Aidan first introduced me to a few months ago. I'm very glad to see that. You're going to have to be very strong to raise a baby on your own, as a single gay man."
"My mom will help me," I said, hoping that she would. We hadn't even discussed the baby. Neither of us had even thought of it we had been so caught in up in our own private grief.
""I'm sure she will, but the brunt of the responsibility will fall on you, and rightly so. You took that on when you agreed to be this baby's caretaker. Are you sure you're up to this?"
I nodded hesitantly, but then more confidently. "Yes. Yes, I know I can do this."
Dr. Wohler smiled. "I know you can too, Will."
Six Months Later
"Hi, Dad," I said uncertainly. I felt a little silly but there was no one else around to hear me. "I don't know if you can hear me where you are, but, well, I just thought you'd like to know..."
I stared down at the black granite stone with my father's name carved into it. The silk flowers that Mom had left in front of it a few weeks ago had begun to fade a little but they still lent a cheery note to what would otherwise be a dreary day. The sky was overcast and rain threatened but so far it had held off.
"Mom and I are doing ok. I'm still painting and working at the gallery. I've sold a few more paintings. We're thinking about doing another show soon.
"Mom's doing really well. She's working at the hospital as a nurse's aide. She said that's what she had trained for before you and her got married so all she had to do was get re-certified or whatever. It's funny I didn't even know she ever even went to school. I've learned a lot I never knew about Mom the last few months. I'm living back at home now."
I looked around the cemetery. Neat row upon row of gravestones stood in testament to the brevity of life. Then I looked down at the tiny bundle in my arms, a testament to the miracle of life.
"I'm a daddy now, Dad," I said and my voice was suddenly full of emotion. "His name is Darin Joseph. Darin means precious present because that's what he is, Dad. And Joseph is after Joey, of course. I wish you could see him. He's perfect. He's so beautiful. I've never seen anything more beautiful in my entire life. I never knew you could love someone so much, and from the first second I saw him. Today is the first day they let him leave the hospital.
"And he's mine, Dad. When he was born, Caitlin listed me as his father on the birth certificate. Between that and the paperwork that Ilana drew up for us he's really and truly mine. Caitlin will probably never get out and she knows that. It was her way of protecting her baby, even to the end.
"I know this isn't what you wanted for me, Dad, but I'm happy. I mean it's been so hard without Aidan. I keep wishing he were here with me to celebrate Darin's birth and all. I still miss him so much, every day. Since Darin was born...I wish you could be here too. I wish I could have heard that you were proud of me, just once. I know you loved me and I guess that should be enough, and most of the time it is. But sometimes...I just wish..."
I stood silently while a tear worked its way down my cheek. Suddenly, Darin stirred and his beautiful blue eyes opened. He stared up at me for a second with a peacefully content expression on his tiny face. He was such a good baby, hardly ever crying, and in perfect health. I remembered that it was almost time for his feeding.
"I have to go now, Dad," I said without taking my eyes off of the baby. "It's almost time for Darin's next feeding and I have one more stop to make before I leave."
I backed slowly away from Dad's final resting place, then turned and made my way through the stones to the far side. There set another grave bearing the name of someone I had once known and loved. Joseph Luke Taylor it read. There weren't even any flowers here, just sparse grass and a plain, unadorned stone. I stood for a while just staring at the name before I realized that it was going to start raining soon if I didn't hurry up. And while Darin would put up with a lot before he'd start fussing I didn't want him to have to wait too long before eating.
"Joey," I started, "I'm not sure what I want to say. I've not quite got the hang of this whole talking to dead people thing yet. I want you to know that I'm going to take good care of your son, even if you weren't going to. I have your necklace, the one with the medal, and I'm going to give that to Darin someday when he's old enough to understand. That's what I named him, by the way, Darin Joseph Keegan. I think he looks a little like you, but everyone says it's too early to tell. I'm sorry you couldn't have lived to see him. I think it would have been different if you had. So many things would have been different."
Darin let out a thin cry, letting me know he knew that feeding time was approaching as well.
"That's him, Joey. That's your son. My precious gift."
I felt the first drop of rain and I quickly pulled the baby blanket over Darin's head. "I have to go," I said, "I promise you, I'll do right by him. Goodbye, Joey."
I turned and ran across the graveyard to where Killian and Asher waited by the car. I didn't look back.
Author's Note: I want to thank every person who has read RTW and written me to tell them how much it's meant to you. I cherish every letter and you will never know what they mean to me in support and encouragement. As I wrote RTW I have been going through one of the hardest years of my life, and yet, so much good has come out of it as well. To those of you who stuck with me from day one, I offer a special thanks.
Reap the Whirlwind started out as a separate book from my first novel, Bleeding Hearts (found on Nifty under High School), and somewhere along the way became a companion piece, not a proper sequel but sharing many of the same characters.
I have now begun work on a real sequel to Bleeding Hearts. It will pick back up with Killian & Asher about the time RTW ends. It will be titled All Lost Things. Keep a lookout for it in the college section and on my website. If you haven't visited my website, I encourage you to. As one of my readers put it, it's not just a clothesline for my stories. It's also an ever-growing community where everyone is included. Check it out!
http://bleedinghearts.nav.to