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Chapter 17
As soon as I walked through the door of our apartment I stopped dead in my tracks. Obviously Aidan had beaten me home. Curtains had been drawn over the windows to block out any light and candles flickered on every possible surface. The smell of Italian food and the soulful crooning of Billie Holiday filled the air.
"Aidan?" I called.
He appeared out of the kitchen with a self-conscious smile. "Surprise?"
I'd never seen him like this; he seemed almost shy, as if everything depended on my reaction. He was dressed in jeans and a jade green silk shirt. It was obvious that he'd gone to great lengths to make this a special night. I frantically searched my memory trying to figure out what I had forgotten. Was I missing an anniversary? A birthday? I couldn't think of anything.
"What...I mean...did I miss something?" I said finally.
"No. I just wanted to surprise you, to show you how much I love you. There's been so much going on..."
I crossed the room quickly and wrapped my arms tightly around him. We kissed for a few minutes before he suddenly pulled back.
"The bread!" he gasped as he ran back into the kitchen. I followed him.
"You baked bread?" I said.
"Well, I cheated. It's the frozen kind. But I made manicotti."
"The frozen kind?"
"No, I really made it. I found a recipe online. I don't know how it turned out. I haven't tasted it yet."
"Well if it tastes anything like it smells it's going to be delicious," I said as I slid my arms around his waste again.
This time all I got was a quick peck on the lips.
"Save it for dessert," he said with a grin, "We can't let the food get cold."
We ate dinner, which turned out even better than it smelled, in the living room on a blanket Aidan had spread out on the floor. Afterwards we made love, slow and relaxed, just enjoying each other's bodies. As we lay content in the afterglow of our lovemaking I told Aidan about seeing the baby and how it had affected me.
"This is really important to you isn't it?" he asked softly.
"Yeah, it is. I've never wanted anything as much as I want to be a part of this baby's life, even though it scares the living shit out of me at the same time. Now I'm just worried that something will happen and I'll lose this chance. I need to find a lawyer."
"Ilana is a lawyer," Aidan said, "In fact, I think she handled the custody battle between Adam and his ex over Kane. And I know she handled all the legal stuff with Killian."
"Do you think I could call her?"
"I don't see why not. I'll call Adam in the morning and get her number for you."
I kissed him. "Thanks. So what's the story on Kane?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, at Thanksgiving he said something about his mom talking to him again and just now you mentioned a custody battle."
"Oh, I don't really know the whole story. Killian could give you the scoop better than me. I think it all started back when Adam and her split up. She couldn't handle it that he was gay and she wouldn't let Seth and Kane see him at all. When Seth told her he was gay she kicked him and wouldn't let Kane have anything to do with either off them. There was a big fight over Kane being able to live where he wanted. I think she finally just wrote him off too."
"That's awful!" I said, "Seth was the one who was murdered wasn't he?"
"Yeah."
"God! That family has been through hell."
"But they got through it by sticking together. Killian is like another son to Adam and I know Killian thinks of Kane as his brother. And from what Kane said at Thanksgiving I guess his mom has finally come around and she's talking to him again."
"So it all worked out in the end?"
"Yeah, I guess it did. You don't get to see many happy endings in real life; it's nice to see one every now and then."
I tipped my head back so I could see his face in the candlelight. "We're a happy ending aren't we?"
We were so close I could feel his heart beating while I waited for him to say something. Finally he said, "I'd like to think we aren't any kind of ending. We're just beginning. We've got a lot of living left to do before we can have a happy ending."
"What does that mean? You don't think we're going to make it?"
"I didn't say that."
"Then what are you saying?"
"Just...I don't feel as secure in our relationship as I'd like."
"What do you mean? I thought we settled that whole thing with Joey."
"It's not Joey."
"Then who? Not Caitlin still?"
"I...Will, are you sure you're gay? I mean, are you sure you're not going to fall in love with Caitlin and leave me? You're so into this baby..."
"Aidan."
"I'm afraid to give you all of me..."
"Aidan."
"I'm so scared of getting hurt again..."
"Aidan! I'm here, with you. I'm making love to you. I live with you. I love you. Not Caitlin. I only want you. What can I do to convince you of that?"
"Marry me."
"What?"
"Marry me. I was going to wait until I had a ring and do this right, but I just can't wait. I want to spend the rest of life with you, Will. I want to grow old with you. I'm willing to accept whatever that means; raising this baby, always living in Joey's shadow...but I need some sense of security. I need commitment."
"You're serious," I said in amazement as I sat up. "But it's not legal in Maryland."
"We don't need a sheet of paper from the State of Maryland to validate our commitment," he said as he sat up too. "It can just be me and you, maybe our friends. But mainly just you and me, declaring our love and our promise to each other."
I couldn't believe we were even talking about this. Marriage? I hadn't even thought about it. I hadn't thought of anything except finding Joey's killer and the baby. Did I want to spend the rest of my life with Aidan? Did I want to marry him?
"Yes," I whispered aloud.
"What? Do you mean...?"
I turned to face him, "Yes, I will marry you Aidan Scott. Yes, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Yes, I want..."
He grabbed me and kissed me passionately, cutting off any further proclamations. I could feel his tears warm against my cheeks.
"Does this mean I have to change my name to Will Scott?" I asked when we came up for air.
He laughed and cried at the same time, "I don't want you to change a thing, Will Keegan. I love you just the way you are."
When we got up the next morning we found a blanket of snow had fallen during the night. The world had been covered with a soft layer of white purity. It was magical and beautiful and seemed perfect.
We decided to wait and tell everyone at once at our next meeting on Friday night. Keeping quiet was the hardest thing I've ever done. I felt like I would explode from my good news. I couldn't stop grinning that day at work. Nikki kept asking what I was so happy about, but I just kept shaking my head and grinning until my cheeks ached.
When I came back from lunch Nikki met me at the door.
"There's someone here to see you," she hissed loud enough to be heard all over the plaza.
I looked around but didn't see anyone in the gallery.
"He's in my office," she explained, "He looks a little shady to me."
My heart started racing. "Did he say who he was?"
"No. All he would say was that he needed to speak to you and you only."
It had never occurred to me before that moment that I might be in danger myself. Now suddenly my mind was filled with terrifying question. What if the killer decided I was a threat? What if he thought I knew more than I did? Laura had said we hadn't been subtle in our investigation. More often than not we'd used a sledgehammer when a fly swatter would have sufficed.
"Stay by the door," I said to Nikki, "If you hear anything suspicious get out and get help."
Her eyes grew wide and she grabbed my wrist.
"Will, are involved with the Mafia?"
The tension broke and tried not to laugh in her face. I almost succeeded.
"What mafia? This is the Eastern Shore. The most organized crime family we have are redneck moonshiners."
"That's what they want you to believe," she said seriously.
"I'm not involved with Al Capone or any other gangsters," I assured her.
I left Nikki standing anxiously by the door and walked back to her office. I knocked lightly as I opened the door. I figured I didn't want to surprise whoever was waiting for me. I found a slightly familiar middle-aged man with a full beard and worn, but clean clothes waiting for me. Where had I seen him before?
"Hello?" I said uncertainly, "I'm Will Keegan. Are you looking for me?"
"Yes, yes I am. You're parents said I could find you here. I hope you don't mind me barging in like this, interrupting your workday..."
"Wait...my parents?"
"Yes. I didn't know how else to find you."
"Who are you?" I blurted out.
"I'm sorry. My name is John Taylor, Jack. You talked to Mr. Dennis at the marina. You told him you wanted to talk to me about my son, Joey. He went to the marina office and got my number and called me." He wound to a sudden stop as if he had run out of words.
"You were at the funeral, in the back," I said, suddenly remembering where I had seen him before.
"Yes," he said in a broken voice. "I was there. I stayed in the back so Olivia, Joey's mother, wouldn't see me. He didn't want her to know that we were seeing each other again."
"Why all the secrecy? Joey was 18, he could see whoever he wanted."
"Olivia hates me; with good reason. I was a lousy husband and an even worse father. I...I was a different man then. I drank. All the time. I'm an alcoholic. I haven't touched the stuff for three years but once an addict always an addict. When Joey contacted me...I can't tell you how happy I was. I thought I was going to get a second chance with my son. He's the only child I ever had. We met a few times; I thought it was going well. Then, the last time I saw him, he was drunk. I lost it. I yelled at him, told him didn't he know how poisonous that stuff was? Didn't he remember how it had torn his family apart?
"He got mad right back. Inherited his temper along with his weakness for the bottle from me I guess. Told me I had no right to tell him what to do. Said I'd given up that right years ago when I walked out on him and his mother." He choked up, fought back tears and won, "He was right. What could I say? He left and a few days later I heard on the radio that he was gone. So much for second chances."
I didn't know what to say. His pain was almost palpable; the office suddenly seemed too small, too stuffy.
"Joey wasn't himself those last weeks, Mr. Taylor," I said at last, "When he started drinking, it changed him. He was my best friend for 18 years and I didn't even know him at the end."
"Tell me about him. Tell me about my boy, the boy I never got the chance to know."
So I did. I took the rest of the afternoon off and we sat in a café as I told him everything I could think of about Joey. As I did, I began to get a clearer picture of Joey than I had ever had before. How selfish he was and had always been, and how the drinking had just acerbated an inherent trait. I tried to cover over as much of that as I could, only telling the positive side. I could tell how much it meant to Mr. Taylor. I felt sorry for this sad, broken man. I knew in my gut that he hadn't killed Joey, or at least not in cold blood. He may have started the slow process of self-destruction that Joey had been in, and he would live with that for the rest of his life. I felt confident that we could cross him off our list of suspects.
When I finally left Mr. Taylor I had to drive straight to the upscale modern office building that housed Ilana Constantino's law practice. Aidan had got the number from Adam and I'd called and set an appointment that morning. I was lucky that she had been able to squeeze me in so quickly.
I took the elevator to her floor and found the door with her name stenciled in gold lettering on frosted glass over the words "Family Law." The foyer area screamed elegance and style, much like Ilana herself. She was standing behind the receptionist's desk talking to her when I came in. Immediately her face lit up in a warm smile and she stepped out from behind the desk.
"Will, it's good to see you again," she said as she offered her hand. "Come on back to my office. Hold my calls please, Jennie."
"Thanks so much for taking the time to see me so quickly," I said as she led me into a well-appointed office.
"Call me Ilana. And you sounded like it was important."
"It is," I said and quickly outlined the situation as succinctly as I could. She already knew a little about it since she had been at the Thanksgiving dinner. When I finished I sat back and waited for her response.
She thought for a minute, tapping one long manicured nail against her lips. "Let me see if I have this right," she said, "You would like me to draw up some documents that give you legal rights to this baby, that isn't yours, to make sure that Caitlin doesn't skip out on you and take the baby with her."
"Something like that," I said halfheartedly.
"Well, I have to say that it's just a bit unusual. Are you sure this is what you want to do? I mean, once it's done you will be held just as responsible for this baby as if it were your own."
"I know. It's what I want to do."
"Then essentially what I'll be doing is an adoption with a joint custody kind of thing. It'll ensure that you will support the baby and in turn you'll have access to the baby. Is Caitlin agreeable to this?"
"Yes, I think so. How much is all this going to cost?"
"Well since you're a friend I'm not going to charge you for my time. You'll have to pay the various legal fees and so on, but I'll let you know what that is when it's all done."
"Ok. How long will it take?"
"I'll get right to work on it. I'll call you in a few days. You and Caitlin will have to come in a sign the paperwork."
"Ok, I'll call her and fill her in."
"Good. You do that and I'll be in touch."
I left with a sense that everything was falling into place at last. Aidan and I were engaged and now the legal work for Caitlin and I was on the way. All we needed to do was find something concrete to take to the police and everything would be perfect. Well, except for my family. I hadn't thought much about them lately. I tend to avoid thinking about things that are too painful, but Mr. Taylor's mention of them earlier had brought them back into my mind full force. We'd always been a fairly close family even if my Dad hadn't been around that much. And though I'd tried not to think about it or let it show, I really missed them. Maybe it was time to try and mend that broken relationship, I thought. I decided I would talk to Aidan about it the first chance I got.
When I arrived home however, the thought completely slipped my mind. Once again, the curtains were drawn and candles were lit. No enticing aromas filled the air tonight though, instead I found a trail of rose petals scattered on the floor leading to my old bedroom. They continued to the window that opened onto the fire escape. There I found Aidan waiting, looking out over the river with his back to me. The red rose petals stood out brilliantly against the background of white snow, broken only by Aidan's footprints.
"You're going to spoil me," I said and he spun around.
"That's the idea," he said with a grin. "But this is a special occasion."
"And why is that?"
"We're celebrating our engagement."
"I thought we did that last night," I said with a grin, "Several time."
He answered with a grin of his own. "Why don't you join me out here on the fire escape? It's time we replace the bad memories with some good ones."
I took a deep breath and climbed out with him. It was the first time I had been out here since I had jumped.
Aidan took my hand and gave it a squeeze. Then to my surprise, he went down on one knee in the snow, still holding onto my hand.
"I know I asked you this last night, but I want to do it right this time," he said. He reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a ring box.
"Oh my God," I whispered.
He opened the box and took the ring out. It was a beautiful silver ring, with an intricate gold design around it.
"William Spencer Keegan, will you marry me?" he said.
I felt a tear roll down my cheek. "You know I will. Yes, I'll marry you."
He slipped the ring onto my finger. It was a little big but it didn't matter. I noticed a matching ring on Aidan's hand and I drew him up for a lingering kiss.
"Let's do it now," he said in a husky voice.
"What? Right now?"
"No, not right this minute, but before Christmas, next week."
"That's crazy," I laughed.
"Why? I don't want to wait. I want to do this now."
"Why not?" I said, feeling exhilarated, "But who will perform the ceremony?"
"Well, since it's not legally binding it doesn't have to be a judge or a preacher. Why don't we ask Adam if he knows anyone?"
"Good idea," I said with a giggle. "I have an idea. Let's not tell anyone what's going on. Let's throw a surprise wedding!"
Aidan laughed. "And you thought my idea was crazy?"
"No seriously! I read about in a magazine once, some stars did that. I thought it sounded so cool at the time. We can have everything arranged, tell them we're having a party and then when the show up we tell them."
"What if they have other plans?"
"We tell them it's really important to us that they come."
Aidan laughed again, "I think it's the craziest thing I've ever heard but I love it, Let's do it!"
"Adam will have to be in on it if we're asking him to find someone to do the ceremony," I pointed out.
"Well that's good. He can help us plan it. After all, I've never planned a wedding before, let alone a gay wedding."
"Let's go back inside," I said, suddenly realizing how cold it was outside. We crawled back in and shut the window.
We went and called Adam right away. He was as excited as we were. He said he knew a gay minister nearby who led a mostly gay congregation who would be thrilled to do the wedding. And he had a ton of ideas for the wedding itself, from flowers to reception favors.
"Whoa, slow down," Aidan said, "We don't want to go overboard. We just want something simple and meaningful. It's just going to be a few close friends."
"Simple doesn't mean it can't be special," Adam said.
We settled on a date of the following Friday evening and left the planning in Adam's capable hands.