I'm sure many of you will be relieved to see this chapter come out! I hope it was worth the wait. The plot thickens...
www.bleedinghearts.myfsb.com
Chapter 11
The funeral was held graveside on a suitably dreary and dismal Monday morning. The clouds hung heavy with the unrealized threat of rain and the wind whipped through the gathered mourners like an angry spirit. Despite the inclement weather quite a few people had shown up to remember Joey. Most of them I didn't know, but I saw a few familiar faces, old neighbors and people from school. One person in particular caught my attention. He stood in the back and off to one side as if he didn't want to be seen. He cried through the whole service.
The service itself was mercifully brief and poignant. Dad was the officiating minister and he seemed focused on the tragic end of a young promising life. He kept staring at me as he said that phrase. I couldn't help but wonder what he was trying to say.
I didn't go back to the house afterwards. I drove directly from the cemetery to Avant Guard. Today was my first day at my new job.
Nikki started talking before I was even all the way through the door, "The first thing we need to talk about is the one man show," she said, "Do we need to cancel it?"
"I...uh..."
"I mean we've lost a lot of time and I'm assuming you didn't paint any masterpieces while you were in that coma."
"No, I mean...I..."
"Will, I'm kidding. Don't bug out me on here. But seriously we are getting pushed for time. We need to have at least 15 to 20 paintings for a one-man show. The show is scheduled and the invitations have been sent so we're locked in unless we just cancel it altogether. That only gives us three weeks. That means you need to do at least a painting a day. Think you got that in you?"
"What ever happened to hi Will, welcome to your new job? How was your weekend...something like that?" I said weakly, feeling more than a little overwhelmed.
"Hi, Will! Welcome to your new job! How was your weekend? Think you got that in you?"
I sighed, "Hi Nikki. Thanks for the warm welcome. My weekend was horrible and yes I think I have it in me."
Nikki frowned, "Why was your weekend horrible?"
"My best friend died. That's why I was late coming in this morning. It was Joey's funeral."
"Oh my God! That was your friend on the news?"
"Yeah."
"I'm so sorry, Will."
"Well, we'd grown apart lately. Actually we had a huge fight just before he died."
"It's still hard. Were you friends long?'
"Since we were kids."
"Do they know what happened yet?"
"If they do they've not told me. I know they think alcohol was involved. He was really drunk when I left him so I guess he could have fallen in and drowned."
"How sad. What a waste."
We went over my responsibilities, which for the most part consisted of standing around and doing nothing while I waited for customers to wonder in. She showed me how to work the cash register and how to read a potential client and steer them towards the kind of art they would be most interested in. The only thing I didn't learn was how to do Derrick's little appearing trick. Once she was confident that I was ready Nikki retired to her office.
It was some time later when I noticed a well-dressed couple heading for the front door. I felt my palms begin to sweat as I anticipated my first customers. I stepped forward to greet them wishing I could pull Derrick's trick since that seemed to put the sale's person in the dominant role right from the start.
"Hello, welcome to Avant Guard, " I said smoothly, or what I hoped was smoothly, "If I can be of any assistance please let me know." I hoped I sounded more sincere than Derrick had the first time we'd come here.
"We're looking for Will Keegan," the man said while the woman looked carefully around.
Uh oh. That didn't seem like the kind of thing potential customers said, especially considering it was my first day here.
"I'm Will Keegan," I said hesitantly.
The man reached into his jacket pocket and produced a badge. "I'm Detective Grafton and this is my partner Detective Bernhardt. We'd like to ask you a few questions if you don't mind."
"Am I in trouble?" I asked. I sounded guilty even to myself.
Detective Grafton gave me a sharp look. "I don't know, are you?"
Detective Bernhardt stepped forward, "Were you at the party held at David Kemp's house last Friday night?"
"Briefly," I said tightly. Could I be arrested for fleeing the scene of a crime? Was a material witness? I wasn't even sure what a material witness was. I suddenly wished I had paid more attention to the Practice.
"Is there somewhere we can speak a little more privately?" Bernhardt asked.
"Nikki?" There was a note of panic in my voice. Authority figures had always scared the pants off of me. I'd been sent to the principal's office once when I was in the 5th grade for something Joey had done and I'd gotten blamed for. I cried all the way there and was so hysterical by the time I got there they had to call my mom to come pick me up. I was feeling a bit like that now.
Nikki came out with a huge smile, obviously thinking I had gotten in over my head with some customers. "These are detectives," I told her and watched the smile slip quickly away, "They want to talk to me about Joey."
"Use my office," she said immediately.
I led the two detectives to the office where they quickly took over, telling me to have a seat and rearranging Nikki's furniture so that they were facing me.
"How do you know we want to talk to you about your friend Joey?" Bernhardt asked as soon as we were seated.
I blinked, "Why else would you want to talk to me about the party?"
She smiled, "Fair enough. Ask a dumb question..."
"We're going to be taping this conversation if you don't mind," Grafton interrupted, "and I'll be taking some notes as well."
Detective Bernhardt produced a small tape recorder and started it recording, reciting some preliminary data like my name and the date.
"Did you go upstairs with Joseph Taylor early in the evening?" Grafton asked.
"Joey...yes..."
"Do you know what time it was?"
"No."
"What happened when you got upstairs?"
"We talked."
"Where and about what?"
"Joey took me in a bedroom, he seemed to know where he was going. We talked about...our friendship."
"Was it an argument? Did you raise your voice at any time?"
"I...yeah, we had an argument."
"Over what?"
I felt my already flushed face blaze. I was getting quite dizzy. "I...I...uh... recently told Joey that I was...um...gay...and he didn't...take it well."
"Did it become physical?"
I started. "What do you mean?"
Detective Grafton looked up from his notepad. "Were any punches thrown?"
"I...uh...hit Joey."
"Why? Did you feel threatened?"
I opened and closed my mouth a few times but nothing came out.
"Look, kid, you'd better tell us everything. We're going to find out eventually anyway and its better if it comes from you."
"It's not like that," I said quickly, "It's just...Joey...tried to...force himself on me," I managed to choke it out then rushed on, "He was drunk. Really drunk or he never would have done anything like that..."
"Is that why you hit him?"
I nodded. "I kneed him in the balls then punched him."
The two detectives looked at each other, exchanging meaningful glances. "And then what happened?" he asked.
"Nothing. I mean I ran out. Ran back downstairs."
"And then you left?"
"After I got sick in the bathroom."
Grafton flipped the notebook closed. "Thank you for your help, Mr. Keegan. If we have any more questions we'll be getting in touch with you."
"That's it?" I asked in surprise.
"You were expecting more?" Bernhardt said with a sardonic smile.
"Just...I mean, why were you asking me those question? How did Joey die?"
They exchanged glances again, this time they almost seemed to be having a discussion without words. Finally Bernhardt sighed, "When the coroner checked your friend over there were some unexplained injuries; a slightly dislocated nose and some bruising in the groin area. Our job was to explain those injuries. You've just helped us do that. As long as he was alive when you left him..."
"He was!"
"...then the official finding will cite the cause of death to be accidental drowning. We have to write our report up but I expect that after you left he somehow managed to get downstairs and onto the pool deck without anyone seeing him. As much drugs as they seized at the party that isn't really as hard to believe as one might think. Then in his drunken state, which is supported by other statements by the way, he fell into the pool, maybe hit his head and drowned. The medical examiner confirms that he had enough alcohol in his system to stun a bull elephant."
Detective Grafton seemed eager to leave. "Once again, Mr. Keegan, thank you for your time and cooperation. You've helped us close this case."
I nodded uncertainly and walked them out. I returned to work with an unsettled feeling in the pit of my stomach. Something didn't feel right about this whole thing.
The next several days were uneventful except for the everyday business of living; work during the day and painting at night. Aidan and I were cautiously making an attempt to rebuild the trust I had broken and in turn piece our friendship back together. It was a slow process. We were sleeping in our own rooms after that first night, but he would sit next to me while I painted, sometimes reading or doing homework, sometimes just watching, sometimes talking to me softly. The pictures I had taken had turned out great so I had plenty of material to work from.
Not a day went by that I didn't think about Caitlin, but on Aidan's advice I waited for her to call me. The next move had to be hers.
A week went by, then two and still I hadn't heard from Caitlin. I did however have 15 paintings finished that I was very pleased with. I was at home painting when she finally called. I was alone for a change; Aidan had gone out with some friends from school. I'd received a half-hearted invitation but he'd known before he asked that I would stay home to paint. I was in a place where I couldn't stop when the phone started ringing. Eventually it stopped then immediately started up again. With a sigh I dropped my paintbrush in the water well and grabbed up the insistently bleating instrument, stabbing the talk button as if it was the phone's fault I was being interrupted.
"Will?" Caitlin said hesitantly to my annoyed hello.
"Caitlin!" I said immediately brightening. "I've been hoping you would call."
"Yeah, I'm sorry I haven't called before this, but this isn't the kind of thing you decide overnight, you know?"
"Yeah, it's ok, really. I'm just glad you called now."
"Look, Will, I've been doing a lot of thinking and...well I don't really feel like going into this over the phone. Is there any way we can meet tomorrow around noon to talk about this?"
"Yeah, sure. Um...we can meet on my lunch break. There's an outdoor café on the plaza we can meet at if you want."
"That's fine, I've been there so I know where it is."
"Great!"
"Ok, I'll see you then."
"See you tomorrow."
I hung up wondering what kind of news I'd be getting the next day. I hadn't been able to read anything from her voice, but I had a feeling whatever she decided would affect me very deeply.
I was at work the next morning when a uniformed deliveryman entered the gallery with a small box in hand.
"Will Keegan?" he said.
"That's me." I said in surprise.
"Got something for ya," he said and held out his clipboard for me to sign. I did and we exchanged the clipboard for the box.
"Hey, wait...who's it from?" I called to his retreating back. There was no return address on the box.
The deliveryman paused at the door long enough to yell back, "I dunno, boss. I only deliver 'em."
I looked at the box again. My name was written in black magic marker in careful block letters that revealed nothing. I gingerly pried open the top spilling packing peanuts everywhere in the process. The corner of a single sheet of paper stuck out of the Styrofoam squiggles and I pulled it free and read the lone sentence written in the same black block letters.
"IT WASN'T AN ACCIDENT!"
It felt like my heart dropped to the pit of my stomach. A strange ringing started up in my ears and I suddenly felt dizzy. It couldn't mean what I thought it did could it? This anonymous nondescript sheet of typing paper couldn't be suggesting that Joey's death wasn't an accident, that is was something more sinister.
The box slipped from my numb fingers and bounced onto the floor, sending the packing peanuts cascading across the floor. Something else flew out of the box and skittered across the tiles and under an antique sofa that stood against one wall.
I snapped out of it and got down on my stomach to see what it was. I saw a flash of reflected light all the way against the wall. Stretching as far as I could my fingers stopped just short of the mysterious object. I managed to drag the sofa away from the wall and stopped short. I didn't have to pick it up to know what someone had sent me. I'd seen it a million times before, but it had always been around Joey's neck before. Lying on the floor in a small, innocuous pile of silver chain was Joey's missing necklace.
I scooped it up and managed to get the gallery put back together before Nikki came back out. The whole time my mind was racing a hundred miles a second. Why would someone send me that note and the necklace that was now burning a hole in my pocket? What was I supposed to do with it? Go to the police was the obvious answer. But how did I know it wasn't some sort of sick prank played by someone at the party. Obviously we had been overheard fighting upstairs. It may well be a hoax but I decided I still had to go to the police. I decided to go right after work. I would have gone right then but it was time to meet Caitlin. I pulled the necklace out of my pocket and slipped it over my head, tucking in under my shirt for safe keeping.
"I'm going to lunch," I called to Nikki as I headed out the front door. I emerged into the bright sunshine and crisp November air but my mind stayed in the uncertain shadows that I had stumbled into with the arrival of the mysterious box. I tried to steer my mind away from the necklace by thinking about how weather like this made it worth the sticky, humid days of summer on the Eastern Shore. It was the kind of weather tailor made for sipping apple cider at an outdoor café. In a few weeks the café would be switching to hot cocoa served in the cozy, old fashioned store front but for now the tables were still set up on the plaza.
I sipped my cider and let my mind wander while I waited for Caitlin. Who had sent me the necklace? Did someone see what had happened? And if so then why didn't they go to the police? It had to be a sick practical joke I decided just as Caitlin sat down across from me. I smiled a welcome as I once more tried to shift my thoughts towards something besides the necklace.
"Thanks for meeting me, will," she said.
"I told you I'd be here for you and I meant it."
She looked down at her hands in her lap where she was busy mangling a napkin.
"I've thought a lot about what you said," she began softly, "In fact, it's all I've been able to think about. It's so hard to believe that there is a human being forming inside me as we sit here right now. It all seems so unreal. I mean it would be so much easier to believe what the nurse at the clinic told me. She said it isn't really a baby yet; that it's just a lump of tissue. She called it 'the fetus' the whole time. She never called it a baby. I'd pretty much made up my mind to have the abortion, then I turned on the Discovery Channel a few days ago. There was a special on about invitro-fertilization and they followed the whole process, from the fertilization until the birth. They showed them doing a sonogram at the same place I am now and...it was a baby, Will. You could see everything...its little tiny nose and little tiny ears and little tiny hands and it was sucking its thumb...and then I thought about what you said, about how it wasn't the baby's fault I slept with Joey. How it shouldn't have to pay for my mistake." She paused while a single tear rolled down her cheek. She took a deep, shaky breath and continued, "I've never been more scared in my entire life. I don't know anything about babies. I don't know how I'm going to finish school. I don't know how any of this is going to work, but I knew then that I wasn't going to have the abortion. My appointment was today, for right now actually. I didn't go...obviously. But you know, I think I knew I wasn't going to have it before that. I stopped smoking the night we talked, the night Joey died. I just...look, Will, the reason I wanted to talk to you today was to tell you I don't expect you to help me with the baby. This is my responsibility. I know the offer was made in the heat of the moment and you didn't really mean it...."
I broke in, "Caitlin, when I made that offer, you're right. It was in the heat of the moment, but I meant it and I still mean it. I have the support of my friends, well...Aidan doesn't exactly approve but he is supporting me. I want to help you if you'll let me."
"How do I know you're not just saying that now to relieve some sense of guilt then once the baby arrives - boom, you're gone? All my past experience with guys has been pretty consistent. Let's just say I haven't found them to be the most reliable of all God's creation."
"I give you my word."
"No offense, but I don't even know you, really. That's not worth all that much to me."
"We could have a lawyer draw up some papers, make it legal and binding," I suggested.
She thought a moment. "That might work. I could buy that. But I can't afford a lawyer. Not with school and rent and now a baby on the way. I'm not even sure how much insurance will cover."
"If we wait until December I should have some money. I have a show later this week..."
"A show?"
"An art show. I guess you could say I'm an artist."
"Your own show?"
"Something like that," I mumbled. I could feel my face heating up, "I just started working at the art gallery here on the plaza. They've already sold a few of my paintings."
"That's incredible! I'd love to see them."
"They're all at my apartment right now, I'm saving them for the show. Why don't you come for dinner one night this week? That way you can meet Aidan. You'll be seeing him a lot."
"Are you two a couple?"
"No, just friends," I said quickly, maybe a bit too quickly. Caitlin gave me a suspicious look, as if she wasn't convinced.
"So just how involved are you planning on being?" she said, going back to our real purpose for being here.
I thought for a moment before answering. "Aidan and I have talked about that," I said slowly, "I want to help in any way you'll let me. Lamaze coach, expenses, actually helping with the baby - you set the boundaries and I'll respect them."
She studied me for a second then said, "Why are you doing this?"
I opened and closed my mouth a few times before I finally found my voice. If I kept this up I could enter a guppy look-alike contest soon. "I...well...I guess this baby is all I have left of Joey now," I said at last. "He meant a lot to me. He was like my brother. Even though things went bad at the end, it doesn't change what we had before."
She nodded. "I'm going to have to think about all this. I have an appointment with an OBGYN later this week so I'll know better what I'm up against then. Plus I'll know what the insurance covers by then." She shook her head and smiled, "Why am I seeing shades of Object of My Affection here? I'm feeling like Jennifer Anniston."
"You look a bit like her, too," I laughed. "As long as you don't fall in love with me it's all good."
She laughed, "I'll consider myself warned. No falling in love with Will. Got it. Oh my gosh! Wouldn't it be funny if I were named Grace? Then we'd be Will and Grace!" We both cracked up.
"You know what?" she said wiping her eyes.
"What?"
"I'm glad I met you, Will."
"Me too. I mean I'm glad I met you."
She reached across the table and gave my hand a quick squeeze. Then she picked up her purse and started rummaging through it.
"Let me get it," I said, pulling out my wallet.
"Starting already, Uncle Will?" she said with a smile.
"Something like that."
"Ok then," she stood up, but forgot to close her purse first. Her wallet and a tube of lipstick fell out onto the ground. I quickly bent to pick them up for her. As I did, Joey's necklace slipped out of my shirt swung out in plain view. I had forgotten all about it. Caitlin's eyes were glued to the charm as I straightened up. I stuffed it back under my shirt but it was to late.
"Joey had a necklace like that," she said softly.
"It is...was Joey's," I told her, "Someone gave it to me after he died." There. I had told her the truth, just not the whole truth.
She stared at my neck where the chain was still visible for a moment longer, then shook her head as if to clear it. "What night do you want me to come over for dinner?"
"How about Wednesday?"
"Sound good. I'll see you then."
We hugged briefly and I watched her while she walked off down the plaza. You would never have known she was pregnant. I wondered when you started showing. I made a mental note to stop by the library that evening and pick up some books on babies. I'd better start reading up on the subject if I was going to be a good Uncle Will.