"Josh it's me," Pete whispered, tapping on the window glass.
"Come on in. I'll prop the chair against the door knob," Josh whispered.
Removing the glass from the window, Pete gracefully fell inside of Josh's room.
I have all our problems solved!" Pete cried throwing his arms around Josh.
"What are you talking about? Pete where have you been? And who was that vampire you were with?" Josh said, holding Pete at an arms length, His heart aching more than just a little. "Pete, first about your past with Michael it's none of my business. I shouldn't have even brought it up."
Never mind about Michael! Who cares about Michael! The vampire I was with his name is Ovid," Pete cried, "Josh, I want us to join his coven. We're going to runaway together to Paris."
"With Ovid," Josh said tonelessly.
"And Emil and Lena," Pete said forcefully, "Think of it Josh no more sneaking around to be together. No more having to pretend were mortals. No more crawling through windows! Josh what the matter with you? Why aren't you happy?"
"Pete, Dads expects me to start school as soon as I go back to New Orleans," Josh said letting his hands drop from Pete's slim shoulders. "He's counting on me!" Josh picked up his football nervously tossing it up in the air and catching it. "I can't disappoint my dads about something that is as important as school. You know how much it means to him."
"You can't disappoint Damion but its ok to disappoint me!" Pete cried disbelief.
"Pete, I have dreams. Things I want to do in life. You know I want to be a free lance photo journalist. I'm looking forward to my classes. I already have a couple photos hanging in the school's gallery. There's so much I want to learn. I want to see other people's styles. I want to be an influence on others too."
"You'll learn more about photography if you go to Paris with me. You're not thinking for yourself! Paris, Josh, Note Dame, the ancient cemeteries and the boulevards. The cabarets, Josh Pairs is an artist's dream. You're throwing away Paris to sit in a stuffy classroom full of boring mortals just to make Damion happy!!"
"I'm honoring my dads wishes because I want to. I love my dads. Sure he's disappointed me more than once. So what! I will not disappoint him in something as important as this."
Reaching over Pete took the football from Josh's hand and threw it on the bed.
"You just want to impress mortals with your photography skills, how about impressing me for a change!"
Josh looked at the floor, he mumbled, "What about Ace and Tabby?"
"Your kids can come with us. Josh you are being cruel condemning them to a mortal life style."
"You expect me to take Tabby and Ace amongst people I don't even know. You know the relationship between our races isn't always good! Sometimes there's even violence between our races. Mostly against sun walkers. Does this coven even want me along?"
"They'll learn to like you," Pete said lamely.
"They'll learn?" Josh laughed mirthlessly, "I do not want Tabby and Ace to live a nomad's life style with vampires who will only barely tolerate them. Pete why do you want to go?"
"I want to go because I feel I have to. Josh you have college, a career to look forward too. These avenues, they are closed off to me. The only option a night walker who has been put on the devil's road at childhood or adolescence to become an adult is to journey away from his makers."
"Pete, night walkers kill vampires who have been put on the devil's road when they were children. I think you should go Pete. I would not hold you back any more than you would hold me back. I want you to go to Paris. I'll stay in New Orleans. I'll wait for you."
"You want me to go alone to Paris, without you?" Pete said in a stunned voice, "Louis is constantly interfering! Josh we have to go if we want to be together. We, I , you do want us to be together, don't you!"
"You're an adult. It has nothing to do with what I want and everything to do with what you want. I'm not going to runaway from dads just because he put some obstacles in our way. I not running away from my responsibilities. I love my responsibilities."
"Josh I'm not asking you to leave Tabby and Ace! There's safety in numbers Josh. It would be best if we traveled with Ovid's coven. You could leave Ace and Tabby with Damion and Daniel like you're doing now."
"For how long? Sun walker children grow up Pete! They are not like night walker children who never grow until someone kills them. Ace lost a tooth while I was gone."
"Then take them. All I'm asking is you take Tabby and Ace on the devils road so we can be together the four of us. They are not mortal children. We can give Ace and Tabby a better life. A life with freedom to it. We'll live only for ourselves rejecting everything that is mortal If you keep them in the mortal world they'll only learn they are different. They'll only learn regret and sadness for what they are!"
"I learned how to live in the mortal world being different. I know being different hurts. So do you. You always have known it the same as me. When we were both mortals we knew we weren't the same as most kids. I grew up poor for most of my life with a drunk for a mother till I was adopted by dads, and even after I finally had money, and I family that loved me, I was teased for having a gay couple for parents. We took our fair share of being rejected. I can't protect Tabby and Ace from the fact of what they are, or from what we are. I can teach them to accept to accept it's OK to be different and they don't have to give up on things other boys and girls have. They're going to make friends Pete, I know they will, yes with mortals, just like I did. And they'll accept the fact there are some mortals they'll have to kill to survive. Tabby and Ace are going to accept having to pretend for the rest of their lives that they are mortals. They'll get laughed at, rejected and teased by some, not because they are vampires, but because of us!"
"They do not have to put up with that garbage!"
There is no place safe on earth from that kind of garbage. And you know it. They are going to go to little league, ballet, play basketball, anything they want to do in life, and I'm going to be there to support them just like my father and dads supported me!"
"But Louis," Pete cried. "Your dads thinks I'm a child. And you know that's true! He projects every sin every night walking vampire has ever committed onto me! Including his own sins and mistakes with Tara, Les, and Daniel!"
"Pete if your so afraid of Louis' disapproval of us, if you cant face up to him, if your this insecure about us, " Josh said sadly.
"You feel the same way otherwise you would have told Louis I'm here in Chicago!" Pete yelled. "I'm sick of the charade! I'm sick of you holding mortal girls in your arms at concerts to look like a real man. I'm sick of it. And you should be just as sick of it too!"
"You know I was being blackmailed by Links. I couldn't help it. I didn't want him dragging my dads in this mess!" Josh pleaded. "I wanted to prove to dads we're not like him and Les. Obsessed with each other."
" There's always some lie you have to tell to protect or to appease someone . Think about this Josh, think about what your doing to us. Ovid is supportive of your joining the coven."
"Why is he being so supportive Pete?" Josh said in a quiet voice.
"Because," Pete said turning his head away from Josh. "He cares about me."
"He does," Josh said biting the skin behind his lower lip, going into shock over the sudden embarrassed look on Pete's face.
Cupping the back of Pete's head, drawing his face to his, Josh tenderly kissed him, rubbing his forehead against Pete's. "you care about him don't you?"
"Yes, I care about Ovid. It's different with him, " Pete said in a small voice.
"Have the two of you kissed yet?' Josh asked in a smaller voice.
"Josh, he kissed me. That's all. I," Pete said, looking away.
"And it was a nice kiss. Did it taste of blood? Was it the kind of blood kiss a day walker can never give you? Not if he didn't want to poison you? Please don't answer that Pete, I can see it on your face it was, " Josh said solemnly, "Pete, I can't go to Paris with you."
"You mean you won't," Pete said angrily.
"I'll wait for you. I promise," Josh said wilting.
"You'll wait for me to come back?" Pete whispered, his expectations chilled to ice, "I thought this would make you happy. I thought being with me would make you happy."
"Do what makes you happy Pete and stop worrying about what I think or what everyone else thinks."
"I see," Pete said, softly, "I thought I came first in you life."
"Pete you do . All of you come first in my life. Tabby, dads, father, Ace, all of you come first in my life. Even Brent. I can't disappear from his life. I'm his support body. That's how it has to be. I'm sorry," Josh said in a hurt voice.
"So that's all I am to you a responsibility on a long list of responsibilities. So much for romantic love!" Pete cried.
"I thought we were romantic. I'm sorry you don't the same way I do!" Josh said, feeling like his face had been slapped.
"Think about this," Pete said quietly, taking off his promise ring, giving it to Josh, "You're right, I should go to Paris. Josh, there's no reason for you to wait for me when I'm gone. We live in two different worlds. They collided for a short time. If you loved me as much as you say you do you would have joined me in my world. You don't belong there, and I don't belong in your world. I'm gone."
Leaving through the window, Pete crawled down the brick wall of the house. He sat on the ground with his kneels tucked up to his chest, A lust to wander, a lust to have another taste of Ovid's blood, to have Ovid's cold hands on his flesh warred with his deepest desires and doubts.
Hearing someone knocking on his door, Josh yelled, "Go away!"
"Josh it's important I have to talk to you," said a muffled voice.
"Fine," Josh said wiping his eyes, pulling out the chair from under the door knob. Throwing the bloody pillow under the bed.
"You, are you crying?' Joey said in an incredulous voice, "Your eyes are all red."
"My boy friend dumped me, or I dumped him," Josh said.
"You're what?" Joey said quietly.
"My boy friend. All right! Want to announce it to the whole world. Want to tell Amy so she can yell at me again! Josh is a fag, I'm a stupid, dumb, ass jerk of a fag," Josh choked.
"Why did he dump you?" Joey said softly.
"I don't know. I know why I dumped him. He's been hanging around with a rough crowd, with a guy who is obviously hot for him. He wanted me to hang with them too. I now it's because he's feeling guilty about how he feels about this Ovid guy. I should have knows he'd eventually fall for someone who has more things in common with him. I knew it was only a matter of time. But I kind of hoped. Hoped for the fricken impossible that's what I hoped for."
"I know how you feel," Joey said, siting on the bed with Josh. Awkwardly Joey patted Josh's back. My girlfriend was starting to hang out with a new crowd too. They made me feel stupid. A bunch of preppy rich snobs. She bought into their life style, and started criticizing me for how I dressed, talked. Trying to change me. I could tell she was embarrassed about the fact I lived in a mobile home and drove a beat up, used Corsica. I'm saving up my money for school. Josh someday I'm going to make it. I swear I am. I'm gong to be a pediatrician I know I will. The grades are all there. I've already gotten scholarships. She stopped believing in me. She wanted things now, money spent on her now. She was trying to change me. It was a matter of time before we broke up too. And Josh it was for the best. I wasn't right for her. You want to know the truth Josh?'
"What?"
"I didn't care when she broke up with me Josh. I realized after a month the best thing in the world that ever happened to me was her dumping me. Josh, I think you could be the best thing that could ever happen to me,' Joey said in a shaky voice, "Josh I was attracted to you the first time we met."
"But, you and Marica."
"Me poking her is just something for my friends back home to see. Josh it isn't fair to Marica but so the fuck what? Is is fair my parents will freak when they find out I'm bisexual? Is it fair my friends are going to see me differently? Is it fair some people will refuse to send their kids to a pedestrian that likes men too along with girls? Nothing is fair in life, not for me, not for Marcia, not for anyone Josh. I want to kiss you. You'd be the first boy I ever kissed. Please."
"Joey, I don't know," Josh said.
Joey leaned over, his eyes closed, very softly he kissed Josh's mouth. Josh found himself responding to the meaning and hunger of the kiss. He melted against Joey's body. Josh pressed his crotch against Joey's. Breathlessly Josh demandingly kissed Joey harder and deeper, ready to be the boy's first time.
Pete crawled up the brick wall, he looked through the window. Josh was on top of Joey. His mouth locked on the boy's mouth. His one hand was undoing the buttons on Joey's shirt, his other hand was struggling with undoing Joey's jeans.
Falling down from the roof, landing on his feet, Pete ran to Ovid's trailer.
Josh laid his head on Joey's chest, whispering "I can't do this. I'm still in love with my boy friend. Even if were' not together anymore, I could never look him in the eye if I made love to you tonight. Joey, if I had never met this guy I would be so honored to be your first. You're beautiful, wonderful, but you're not my boy friend."
"He saw you first. Can't change a fact of life," Joey said disappointed.
"The only other reason I have for wanting you besides the fact you're a great guy is to get over feeling hurt by him. I don't want to get over him yet. It would be so unfair and stupid of me to make love to someone as special as you on the rebound. You deserve your first time to be with someone you really care about and who cares about you. It's not just about sex. It shouldn't be anyway. Could you please do me a favor?"
"Anything," Joey said, his eyes smiling at Josh, "I hope I meet someone who loves me as much as you love this guy. He must be special."
"He is. Would you please get me three gallons of butter brickle ice cream and the biggest spoon you can find?"
"Josh, you'll make yourself sick. No one's worth that!" Joey protested.
"I'm already feeling sick," Josh moaned.
Banging into Ovid's trailer, Pete stormed past Ovid, he went into the mess of a bedroom, flinging himself on a stained mattress.
Taking up a handball, Pete threw it against the wall, catching it when it bounced back.
It's so strange for us night walkers, he mediated, Emotions, emotions hit your brain like a slamming down claw hammer. And then you're numb, distanced. Like you never felt what you felt, and then everything hits you like an oncoming train.
Throwing the handball as hard as he could, Pete sent it whizzing through the wall.
tbc