Playing with his chastity ring, Josh numbly fell into a fantasy.
"Sam, Sam wake up We have to get to Mordor."
"What?" Josh mumbled, "My name isn't Sam it's Josh."
"Poor little hobbit the stress of the journey is getting to you," purred Legloas, the warrior of elves.
Standing in front of Josh was two, long, strong muscular legs spread wide open in a hero's stance. Josh stretched his neck to look upwards. A hunk of an elf with long blond hair, a gorgeous face, and a body anybody in his right mind would kill to fuck was checking him out.
"Oh my God!" Josh moaned.
"Sam, Sam it's good to call upon God at a time like this. We need all the prayers we can get!!" cried a creature pulling on Josh's arm.
The runty little creature pulling on his arm had hairy legs, and absolutely-to-die-for perfect hazel eyes under a pair of glasses and long shoulder length, light brown hair.
Pete, Pete you've shrunk! I've shrunk! I love you. What happened to you! You're different!" Josh yelled leaping to his feet, "What happened to my legs, " he yelled looking down his hairy feet.
"Your hobbit legs are the same as always. Do they hurt? I see no wounds," Fredo said confused, "What is a Pete? Is it a magical word?"
"The most magical word in all the world," Josh breathed, "Stop kidding around Pete. You're scaring me."
"Come Sam, we must hurry. You must snap out of any delusion you're in," Fredo said worriedly, "I am the ring bearer."
Suddenly monsters called orcs appeared out of no where.
Putting himself between the ring bearer and the orcs, Josh fought valiantly making kindling out of the foul, wretched orcs. Legolas helped a little by boldly shouting encouragement.
"You're wounded, Josh cried.
"It will be all right. We must carry on" the ring bearer moaned.
"No, we must go to the nearest motel and rest for a long, long time. In bed. Under the covers. Together," Josh panted, "Is there a Best Western Inn around here in the middle world?"
"I have no idea what a Best Western Inn is," Legolas said, "There are places for weary travelers to go. I will go with you Sam, and," he purred, "rest with you in bed together to keep each other warm."
Looking at the ring bearer who was streaked with mud, blood dripping from a wound on his chest, then looking at Legolas elegant with seduction in every inch of his elf's body, immaculate and perfect, Josh thought You are so cute for a guy with pointy ears, but not that cute. Josh cried, "No ring bearer you must come with me. Where I will put you to bed where we can, I mean you can, you can rest and heal."
"There is no time for rest," the ring bearer said, furiously, getting up on his hobbit's legs, "On to Mondor for the good of all kind. I will bear the burden of the ring even if it takes to to the end of time."
''What about me!! What about me! Do you now how tired I am of this damn burden of a damn ring?" Josh yelled, tearing off his chastity ring, "Come here you," he yelled pouncing on Pete who for some daft reason kept insisting on calling himself Fredo.
Tearing the ring off Pete's little hobbit finger, Josh promptly swallowed it.
Fire and brimstone scorched the air. The earth cracked open. A long white wizard appeared, laughing evilly.
"Sarumen," Legolas screamed like a girl, falling to his knees.
"Never have I seen such an act of evil and betrayal," Sarumen laughed, "You are the true keeper of the ring. And what evils will you do?"
Oh for starters after a good breakfast of drinking the blood of a mortal I will kill off the dwarf race. the elves, and finally will kill of the fledging race of mankind one human a day thus giving them ample opportunity to breed more humans for me to kill. But first I will torture this hobbit. Do you know the way to the nearest Best Western Inn?"
"No" Sarumen said puzzled, "You may torture him as you will. Can I watch the destruction of my foe?"
"No, this I must do privately."
"You are drooling."
"Am I?" Josh said wickedly, grabbing the stunned, struggling hobbit.
Chaining the hobbit to the bed, Josh tore off the hobbit's breeches.
"You devil, you fiend, you, you, that feels really good what you're doing. Wait, wait, Josh we can't."
"Pete you called me Josh," Josh cried, leaving off of licking Pete's now hairless calves.
"Josh, we have to plan for Tabby's' birthday party. And also help Ace with his homework Tabby still isn't toilet trained. And I have to make rice crispy bars for the PTA's bake sale. Josh, I'm overwhelmed. I can't do this!!"
"This is no life for a night waker," intoned a mysterious voice. Taking of his rubber Legolas mask, Michael said evilly, "Hi Josh."
"I'm just a boy!!" Pete pleaded, "Just a kid. I'm not ready for a serious relationship involving a ready made family. And oh," Pete held out his fist. The chastity ring back on his finger. "You promised me we would wait till I was ready. Even if it would take years and years and centuries."
"Nooooo!" Josh wailed.
"And Josh you want to know something else? That elf is pretty damn cute!" Pete said lustfully.
"Nooo!" Josh wailed, tearing at Pete's finger, swallowing the ring.
"Yessss," hissed Pete, another chastity ring popping on his finger.
Pete's bed became a coffin, his face became carnivorous, and ghoulish, his hazy eyes demonic, his fingers long and spike like, his fangs sharp and vicious.
Slamming the coffin lid down Pete sunk into a grave.
Christov and Michael's huge laughing faces appeared out of the gloom, funeral music played. "It was never meant to be," they chanted in unison
"Never meat to be, smirked a handsome, tall night walker with long blond hair, a tough boy's angel face, his arm around Pete who was bleeding from puncture wounds on his long throat.
"You'll wait for me Josh? Won't you till the end of time?' Pete said, innocence in his eyes, red guilt dripping down his throat.
"No, no, no," Josh yelled, thrashing in his seat.
"Josh get a hold of yourself. It's not that scary of a movie," Amy whispered.
"Why, why, did I ever agree to wear a god damn chastity ring. Why did he suggest it? Why? Why?" Josh whispered in a tone too high for Amy to hear.
"Josh do you have medication you can take?' Amy whispered.
What if marriage would prove to be mundane? Filled with nothing but every day and every night problems? Would it kill our lust? I mean love not lust, it wouldn't kill our love, never or would it kill our love? Josh worried to himself, Would it be enough for Pete? Would he stay in love with me if he had to live a father's life style, he's just a kid, I'm just a kid.
"No, there's no medication I can take,' Josh whispered sadly to Amy, taking the ring off his finger pocketing it with the other ring.
After coming home from the movie, Josh send the rest of his day and night closeted in his room, reading the novels his dads advised him to read. Josh kicked his leg nerviously bored. The words in the novel he was staring at might as well been written in Archaic Japanese.
"Hey Josh," Joey said snatching the novel out of his hands.
"You want to borrow a novel?' Josh moaned.
Picking up one of the hardcover books on the floor, Joey read the title out loud," "Johnson's London"? A history book? I'll pass," Joey dropped the novel on the floor, "I'm glad you decided not to leave. Josh what do you like to do? Do you want to do it together?" Joey said, playfully running his fingers through Josh's sticky spiked hair.
"My hair, my hair. Do not play with the hair," Josh yelled,
"Which part of your body is the designated playground?" Joey teased.
"Everything is off limits!"
"Right. Josh, you look like someone on the prowl tonight. I mean the way you dressed."
"What about it? Crap, loose jeans are so high school," Josh moaned.
Amy poked in her head in saying, "Josh someone named Pete is here!"
"Yes!" yelled Josh running past Joey yelling, "The only gay guy I know except for Thomas."
"The only gay guy you know?' Christov sneered.
Screeching to a complete stop," Josh whined, "It's you,"
"And me," Pete said embarrassed.
Wearing a pair of jeans falling down far enough so that if Christov raised his hands you'd be able to he he was a natural brunette, his brazen eyes strangely done up, his chest naked with for nipple rings hanging perkily down from his oily nipples, and his charms hanging from his neck, Christov said in a falsetto voice, "The only gay guy you know, sweetie?"
"Asides from Brent,." Josh said coolly.
"Hello Josh," Henri said, deciding to wear a conservative dress shirt, and a pair of slacks and a nice tie which complemented his turquoise blue eyes. A suit jacket made the outfit complete.
"And Henri," sighed Josh.
Blushing, Henri adjusted his tie. He couldn't resist wearing a diamond stud ear bob dangling from his ear. God forbid he wouldn't. even for Pete and Josh's sake, leave his antique walking stick behind., Sighing, he wished he could throw a blanket over Christov's sluttish nudity.
Pete was dressed in a pair of skater pants, and a vintage Black Sabbath Tee-shirt, and a open Hawaiian shirt, he gawked at Josh's leather pants and net pink shirt.
"I wasn't going to go clubbing, but I changed my mind. Now I changed my mind again," Josh said happily.
"Hold on there," Christov said, "I only brought Pete."
"My cousin Pete," Josh said hurriedly.
Your cousin Pete?" Christov said, both he and Henir raised their eyebrows, "I only bought your cousin to say hi."
Yanking Pete forward, Christov said, "Say hit to your cousin."
"Hi cousin Josh," Pete said, a hurt and baffled look on his face.
Yanking him back, Christov said, "OK, you said hi to him. We're going."
Sighing at the miserable look on Pete's face, Christov yanked him forward, saying, "OK say hi again,"
:"Hi, " Pete mumbled.
Yanking Pete back, yanking him forward, yanking him back, Christov thought evilly to himself I could do this all night long.
"Stop mon ami," Henri cried You're going to give Pete whiplash."
"Josh we thought we could take you and Pete out on the town," Henri said winking at Josh.
"Yes, me and your Uncle Henri, and Cousin Pete," Christov said, glaring at Josh.
"Out, yes, out," Josh cheered, "I'm going out with my cousin," Josh yelled, jumping up and down, hugging Joey, their lips almost touching. They looked briefly into each other eyes. "I'm going out!" Josh yelled hastily, dropping his arms from around Joey, embarrassed at the intensity of the Joey's stare. The physical attraction which caused Josh's stomach to feel queasy and his head to go light.