"I would not of had the guts to go for help for my drinking problems if you hadn't been there to hold my hand," Brent said,
"What's a hand for?"
"A hand job?" Brent teased.
"Seriously," Josh laughed.
"I'm serious," Brent laughed.
"You're scaring me, honey," Josh joked, hitting his friend in the shoulder.
" Besides you're paying me back by volunteering to take Ace and Tabby to hockey games while I'm in Chicago," Josh reminded Brent.
"I need to think of some way to keep Rob entertained."
"How is being a Big Brother working out?" Josh asked, thinking of Rob. An energetic, fatherless, twelve year old Brent was sponsoring, "Is Rob cool about your gay thing?"
"What gay thing? I told his mother and him once, and once was enough. It's not like it's going to work its way into any more conversations."
"All right but go easy on this conversion you're going through for a sainthood."
"What do you mean conversion? I always loved playing with your kids. It's boring being the only child. I love having a little bother like Rob to spoil. I help him with his homework, tease him, give him advice, he looks up to me," Brent said feeling a little amazed, and feeling a lot of pride, "Why would you ask me about the gay thing? What's the big deal?"
"I accidentally kind of lied on the Real World application form about my gay thing.. On the part where they ask about your sexual orientation I wrote down I was a slut. They know I was married to Trisha, and that I have two kids. I think the show's producers are assuming I'm straight."
"Why didn't you tell them the truth during the interview?"
"And be the only token gay guy on the show? Screw that. I'm going to have a good time. And if I'm outed on the show I'm outed" Josh said putting his hand into his jeans pocket where a plain gold ring lay hidden, "No frigging speech about what it means to be gay. No endorsements of the so-called gay culture. I'm just going to be me. Fuck, do you hear straights giving little speeches about how it feels to be straight? That's so gay."
"Bastard," Brent laughed, "What does Pete think about you being on Real World? Living with six luscious strangers while your life is being filmed for television. I mean you're not going to waste your time being faithful in Chicago."
"What do you think?" Josh said, taking the ring from his pocket, dropping it on Brent's nose.
What the?" Brent said, fishing the ring out of the grass. Brent read out loud the inscription on the ring, "Eternal."
"Josh, this is so sudden. I do," Brent teased.
"It's not for you. Picture this. I take Pete to a skate boarding park. He gets to show off his tricks on live TV. I pull him aside and I ask him to marry me while millions of people are glued to their sets."
"It sounds the height of cheesy," Brent said, looking puzzled, "I thought you and Pete were already engaged? I mean you both wear rings."
"Promise rings," Josh moaned.
"Promise rings?" You mean like in chastity rings? You're kidding,"
"No, I'm not kidding," Josh said, "You know Pete's religious. He even once wanted to be a priest. He heard about promise rings and he thought it was kind of romantic. I wanted to show him I could be romantic. That I'm not some slobbering penis who just wants to de-pants him."
"You are a slobbering penis when it comes to Pete. Couldn't you have gotten him flowers instead? Josh your balls have got to be blue. This is bullshit."
"No, it isn't," Josh insisted.
"Yes it is. This is so straight! The only reason you want to have a commitment ceremony with Pete is to so you can finally get laid."
Laughing, Josh rolled around the grass.
"You are so wrong, I could go to Oz's our favorite dance club right now," Josh said, snapping his fingers, "and I could get laid all night long with as many boys who wanted a piece of me. Getting laid isn't a problem. Not for some of us at least," Josh grinned lazily at Brent.
Not for anyone else here present at the moment, thank you very much," Brent smiled, "Come on Josh? Why hold yourself back? Is it because Pete's shy about trying stuff? You know."
"He had trouble the first time we had oral sex. I had to smear myself with blood."
"With blood?" Brent asked.
"With peanut butter," Josh lied, "To get him comfortable. He gagged a little. He's not used to solids."
"What are you talking about? Not used to solids? Oh fuck," Brent's eyes widened, "Don't tell me Pete's one of those idiotic anorexics who live off of ice cubes, frozen orange juice concentrate, and broth. I know athletes who pack on the muscle and live off of baby food. Fuck is he trying to stay fit by being on a screwed up diet? No wonder I never see him eat. Josh, you can't have a commitment ceremony with Pete. Think of your kids. I mean anorexics are unhealthy, crazy. Wait till Pete gets some professional help."
"I think of the kids all the time. All right? And no Pete isn't anorexic. I was kidding. Calm down," Josh said, staring at the sky.
"You know what my next best friend has always been?" Josh said.
"Probably porn if you insist on being celebrate."
"You're right. Porn is a married gay guy's best friend. When I was married to Trisha I tried everything to make her happy. I didn't sneak around to gay bars. I've seen too many unmarried moms, you know? They're so unhappy some of them. It's painful for an unwed mother to see the father of their baby running around with other girls. Having a great time. Some fathers do not even want to acknowledge their kids. I didn't want to put Trisha through that. She wasn't just knocked up; I was knocked up too."
"I have to admit when you were married to her I always thought you cheated on her. You were only sixteen,"
"When she ended up cheating on me with her boy friend Jesus, I started to date. I only seriously dated girls. Girls are good for the ego. Boys, I would just have one-night, quickly, bar-sex with. I often felt I was more bisexual than totally gay. I hate to say this but when she stared dating Jesus I became distant from my kids. I thought Trisha would divorce me and Jesus would raise them as their father. I'd just be Tabby and Ace's uncle Josh who they called daddy out of politeness whenever I saw them every other weekend. I guess I was scared about how I would feel when my family broke up and Jeus would take over. I stopped trying to raise them. I concentrated all my time into school and having a good time."
"But why only girls? What was the big attraction there?" Brent said, making a face.
"I thought if I had a wife when the kids would come over to visit me they would feel more comfortable. Like they had a normal family. I mean I know Tabby and Ace are used to my parents being gay. But still, maybe in the back of my mind I didn't want to be seen as second best to Trisha and Jesus. I felt if the kids had a choice they would want a mother and a father. And I kid you not, I've been to the point where I can swear on a bible I'm bisexual. I've been sexually active with girls almost as much as I've been sexually active with guys. It's all good whatever the gender. It's just not great. I get more amazed and hot watching Pete talk then I did when I was in a threesome."
"Honestly? Was it two boys, or boy and girl, or two girls?"
"Two girls."
"Well that explains the lack of excitement."
"It wasn't bad. They were nice girls," Josh said with a lazy grin.
tbc